Without Alcohol, The World Would Be a Better Place

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“Without Alcohol, The World Would Be a Better Place” is an argumentative essay that conveys the message of alcohol’s harm to society. Trying to convince the readers of repercussions of drinking alcohol, the author uses a combination of Pathos and Logos, with a heavier emphasis on emotional means of articulating ideas. The choice of strategy also impacts the overall organization of the essay, which circumvents the classical structure. While the author accomplishes the ultimate goal of persuading the readers, the extensive use of Pathos harms the cohesion of the text as well as the credibility of the argumentation.

Rhetorical Strategy

The author chose Pathos as the primary writing strategy for the essay. It starts with a dramatic story that is meant to impact the readers on the emotional level. The author uses short phrases like “they died instantly” to provoke horror in readers (Argumentative Essay Examples, para. 11). It is followed by statistical data on the number of people dying every day because of driving while under alcohol, which indicates Logos. However, the statistics serve as an emotional persuasion tool: “in less time than it takes someone to watch the latest episode of Game of Thrones, someone will be killed due to drunk driving” (Argumentative Essay Examples, para. 13). The author uses this combination throughout the entire text, creating the impression of conducted research and adding validity to their argumentation.

The writer’s reliance on the fuse of rhetorical appeals is evident further in the text. At numerous points, questions are used to deliver the idea, for instance, “Why is alcohol so pervasive if it is a choice?” (Argumentative Essay Examples, para. 15). It is a subtle yet manipulative way to provoke an emotional response by appealing to the mind. The author also uses conditional clauses to rationalize the harm of alcohol and the necessity of its limitation: “what if the gateway to bad decisions was removed?” (Argumentative Essay Examples, para. 17). The essay closes with another emotional story and a lesson that the author wants the readers to learn – the prohibition of alcohol can prevent many deaths and incarcerations. The text is notable for the complete absence of Ethos since the author does not make any references to themselves aside from their noble intentions. Instead, the essay follows Pathos with Logos strengthening the argumentative side of the text.

Organization and Structure

As this is an argumentative essay, the author follows most of its conventions. The story begins introduces the core problem the writes wants to address, with their stance shown in the thesis statement: “If alcohol was banned, there would be a reduction in violent crimes and a diminished number of vehicular manslaughter cases” (Argumentative Essay Examples, para. 11). The writer uses statistical data to support the idea of the influence of alcohol consumption on students’ irrational actions, sexual crimes, substance use, and mortality rates in car accidents. The author also refers to the statistics to point out alcohol use as a public and social issue in America. From the perspective of asserting one’s viewpoint, the essay is definitely coherent.

However, there are some critical elements missing in the organization of the essay. For example, the author chose to neglect the opposing viewpoint altogether. There is no consideration given to the positive aspects of alcohol consumption. Instead, the writer unequivocally condemns alcohol, arguing to ban it for everyone: “Why should it be placed in anyone’s hands as a tempting invitation to death’s door?” (Argumentative Essay Examples, para. 11). The other aspect of essay that is missing is the proper structure of the text. The author starts paragraphs with the arguments and citations, without introducing the idea they are supposed to support. As a result, the text is baffling and not easy for readers to take in.

Conclusion

This essay has several strengths that should be pointed out. Firstly, its overall narrative is persuasive due to the proper use of Pathos. Secondly, the author references factual and statistical data, improving the veracity of its arguments. Thirdly, the author is consistent in reasoning for the detrimental effect alcohol has on society. Finally, the underlying intention of the author is noble as they aspire to eliminate the negative consequences caused by alcohol consumption. The balance between emotions and logic, consistency and nobility of ideas create a meaningful essay with a clear well-argued stance.

However, there are two aspects that substantially weaken the quality of the writing. First and foremost, the author’s position is notably one-sided, with no overview given to the opposing viewpoint. This can be solved by adding a section about supporters of alcohol, their arguments and subsequent author’s rebuttal. Secondly, the essay suffers from a poor presentation of ideas. While the general message is clear, text composition obstructs its readability. The author could improve the readers’ perception by properly structuring paragraphs and ideas. Altogether, the essay is effective in emotional persuasion, however, the author excessively uses Pathos to the detriment of the overall structure and composition.

Reference

(n.d.) Web.

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