Social Issues: Choosing a Life Partner

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Table of Contents

Introduction
Choosing a life partner
Factors to consider when choosing a life partner
The films
Conclusion

Introduction

Most people get into relationships without proper knowledge and insight into the factors that make a happy and successful marriage. Choosing a life partner entails a myriad of issues, including the partner’s background. Also, partners make significant impacts on one another. This paper will use two films [When Harry met Sally and Breaking Up] to explore the topic of choosing a life partner. Some people are guided by instincts to get the right life partner.

The first film, When Harry met Sally, uses two characters, viz. Harry and Sally, to present the formation of a relationship in contemporary society. Harry and Sally meet as students at the University of Chicago. They have known each other for a long time, but they do not rush into a relationship until after twelve years of knowing each other. This film presents a real-life situation for two partners who take the time to factor out what they want in a relationship.

Even though life presents many challenges, such partners weather the storms and stick together. The film connects well with the topic of finding a life partner by showing that different people can come on the way as possible partners, but when one takes time to make reasonable choices, s/he will find someone suitable to live with.

The second film, Breaking Up, explores Steve and Monica’s lives as they date for two years and decide to marry despite the existing conflicts between them. The film shows that relationships face many challenges, which call for strong people to survive and by failing to address weaknesses leads to breaking up. If a relationship is sexually oriented, then the basics of finding the right partner are overlooked. This film connects well with the topic since it explores the implications of rushing to get a life partner.

Choosing a life partner

Selecting a life partner is unsophisticated, but people complicate the procedure when they opt for dubious means. This process involves the identification of a friend to determine if potential partners share some aspects in life before the friendship can grow to a relationship and if the relationship works for the partners, it results in marriage.

This process does not entail free-choice mate selection where two people get attracted to each other through instincts and fall in love and get married in the process. Selecting a life partner involves deep understanding and love for each other together with figuring out what partners want in their lives. Some people marry by fate, while others are guided by self-esteem or lust, but they all hope for a good relationship.

In modern life, people end up getting married for the wrong purposes. For instance, one might be compelled by society to marry and avoid the backlash associated with aging without a partner. Society disdains singlehood at age 40 more than it does for a troubled marriage at the same age. The single person might not be far from enjoying a successful marriage, but the troubled couples end up in lifetime chaos or divorce.

Factors to consider when choosing a life partner

Most people get into a relationship and after a short period, they give in the proposal to get married with the belief that they will know each other as the marriage grows. This assumption underscores the genesis of marital problems. Some of the questions to consider at this point include whether one feels free and comfortable with the other party.

Most people can factor how they feel or perceive about their partners, but the challenge arises when partners fall for promissory romance and lust and decide to get into marriage hoping to change their partners later in life. Also, different people have disparate definitions of love.

True love requires understanding and care about each other to the extent where one can anticipate each other’s needs and meet them beforehand. Selecting a partner with whom to share most aspects of life increases the chance of a happy marriage. Love, trust, and voluntarily limiting oneself for the sake of a happy relationship are requisite factors.

The films

The first film, When Harry met Sally, shows the patience that a relationship needs before it can take off. It takes Harry and Sally 12 years to fall in love. They meet at the University of Chicago during their school life. Sally starts a career as a journalist and Harry as a political scientist and both have successful careers. They live separately, but after some years, they meet at LaGuardia airport. Coincidentally, Sally’s boyfriend has left her and Harry’s wife is asking for a divorce.

Therefore, the two know what they want in a relationship from their experiences. They decide to start a relationship, but Harry warns Sally that they should get married and avoid the sexual destruction that might befall their relationship. Finally, Sally agrees and they get married, and even though they have known each other for a long time, their relationship faces numerous conflicts. They develop the perception that marriage is a tough institution and they cannot match the expectations.

This scenario reflects the real life situation when couples fail to air their problems and assume that the relationship is doomed to fail for simple discussions cannot solve their issues.

Their conflicts intensify to the point that Harry apologizes to Sally. At this point, both realize that they love each other and they cannot continue to fight happiness, and thus they choose to enjoy life together. This aspect shows that in life when people choose the right partners in marriage, no matter the trials and tribulations, they can surmount the challenges and lead happy lives in marriage.

The second film, Breaking Up, Steve is in a breaking relationship with Monica. They keep arguing and Monica leaves before she comes back shortly to inform Steve that she is terminating the relationship. After a little while, they reconcile, but the fights persist. The relationship is sexually driven, and thus emotions are high and Steve is convinced that he loves Monica. He asks her to marry him and Monica agrees.

They are overwhelmed and they go out interviewing people by asking them what sustains a marriage. This aspect shows that they are not prepared, since they do not have any clue about marriage life. They keep arguing most of the time, as they cannot agree on simple things, except sex.

They have good sex, appease each emotionally, at times break up, makeup again, and have more sex. With time, the trend turns painful and unbearable. Unfortunately, the relationship is founded on shaky grounds, and thus it gives in and the two part ways. Even though Monica is prepared to look for ways to ameliorate the association, Steve is a horrible lover, and thus the relationship falls apart.

Conclusion

Choosing a life partner involves a careful process, which requires commitment and understanding from the involved parties. Relationships and marriages face challenges, but if partners and spouses know what they want, coupled with how to meet one another’s needs beforehand, happiness and cooperation are achievable. In the first film, Harry and Sally show that it is prudent to take time before partners decide to get married since one can rush into making such a decision, which might hurt in the long term.

Harry and Sally show that individuals may not fully learn about each other before marriage, but if both take time, it is possible to understand and figure out most of the things that lead to a successful and happy marriage. In the second film, Steve and Monica clarify that choosing a lifetime partner is a commitment, which is anchored on simple values that partners share and at times endure together.

However, if a decision is rushed to choose a life partner, marriage becomes a time-to-time reminder that one made the wrong choice. This paper notes that even choosing the right life partner does not mean that life will not have difficulties.

Partners might overlook the simple things such as celebrating each other during good times, and such tendencies may create differences due to lack of appreciation. Also, rushing to select a life partner can result in permanent troubles or divorce. Therefore, individuals should take the time to know each other before getting married.

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