Revision Strategies for a Formal Complaint

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Individuals should compose a proper letter of complaint that uses a standard strategy to resolve the occurred problem in due course. The presented text is an official document addressed to the authorities that can solve the problem of youth misbehavior in the community during Halloween. Therefore, it is in the best interest of the complainer to write a well-organized and concise letter that the Town Hall would admit. The sample writing does not meet the requirements of a complaint because it does not have a proper introduction paragraph explaining the situation, evades formal language rules, and contains many impartial expressions.

The introduction is the first component that designs and frames a formal letter. For instance, the heading comprises a sender’s address, location and the date of the letter composition (Martin 5). The accepted guidelines suggest applying a block design, where the heading goes in the upper left-hand corner of the page (Martin 5). It is also essential to express the reason for the conventional letter in the main section and not to veer from the subject (Martin 6). In the sample, however, in the first paragraph, the author describes the background story of the situation and does not define the purpose of why he or she is writing to the committee. Instead, the person filing a complaint should state the problem of youth misconduct in the neighborhood in the first paragraph.

Moreover, a business or formal letter ought to be written in a more formal tone than in ordinary communicative language. The writer needs to restrict slang and jargon in the formal text (Martin 11). This similarly applies to contractions such as ‘wouldn’t, isn’t’ and ambiguous words like ‘good, bad’ which were used in the sample. Similarly, the term ‘kids’ is only used in casual communicative speech in unofficial circumstances.

It is appropriate to replace the word with ‘children’ that is generally accepted by the English language writing standards. The sentence length also plays an important role when constructing a formal letter such as a complaint (Martin 6). The use of long and complex sentences makes the work serious and eligible for the document’s aim. Nonetheless, the given text often uses short, simple structures, which sometimes contain less than four words in a sentence. It is advised to conjunct several short sentences together using adhesive sentence elements.

Finally, personal prejudice should be avoided in the official letters. The assumption that children who engage in vandal behavior come from disadvantaged families and running to groundless conclusions about their parents seems irrelevant to the letter’s purpose and makes it look unreliable. Similarly, the use of dramatic adjectives, for instance, when the author refers to the current situation with Halloween by saying “how terrible” the holiday had become, is inappropriate. Such words as ‘hooligans’ and ‘rotten kids’ are highly impolite to this kind of writing. Thus, it is expected that the content of the letter is well-mannered and free of judgement.

In conclusion, a structured text which is free of grammatical errors and slang are necessary requirement to make an official letter acceptable by the committee. The provided letter sample consists of slang, contractions, wrong tense usage, and sentence structure which deteriorates the perception of the letter. It is helpful for the author of the letter to construct sentences that are longer and more comprehensive. Ensuring the elimination of common expressions, contractions, and vague words and using a polite, unbiased structure is the key to making the letter more convincing.

Work Cited

Martin, Robert M. Writing Wrongs: Common Errors in English. Broadview Press, 2018.

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