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19th September 2018 was the first day of our clinical posting. We went through two days of orientation to get to know about the hospital setting and whereabouts.
On my first day after introduction, I felt so energized and arranged for what was to come. I didn’t know precisely what I expected, however, I certainly thought probably a few things would be simple. I anticipated that talking to patients, communicating with other healthcare individuals, and performing activities that I rehearsed earlier in college to be simple. Truth be told, the things I expected to be the least demanding really turned into the most difficult when I met genuine individuals with genuine issues.
In the first three weeks of clinical posting, two patients were assigned to me. As I proceeded to do the four-hour observations of taking vital signs, one of them had IV fluid. When I introduced myself to her, I noticed her IV was beeping and kept indicating the IV was empty when the fluid was only left halfway through the normal saline bottle. The patient asked me to check the drip but I was unsure of how to solve the problem. I was really scared, I did not know what to do, and I called the staff nurse in charge. She helped the patient to adjust the drip.
Sometimes I felt like the fact that I am a semester one student with such little knowledge and ability to help patients makes me want to make myself more useful and be able to fulfill the needs of patients. During the clinical experience, especially throughout the first three to four weeks of posting, I have faced problems like when patients asked questions about their disease and expected an answer from us which we, as semester one students, could not answer. I remember there was once this patient who asked me about influenza A disease. She asked me how one gets this type of disease and how was it contagious. I couldn’t explain to her as I didn’t know precisely what virus causes influenza, so I remained silent for a while and told her that I was sorry I couldn’t answer her questions because I was not sure. I thought about asking the staff nurse to explain to her, but all the staff nurses were too busy to spare a little time to follow me and explain to the patient or even call the doctor to give an explanation.
There was once that I was passing by the Hospital Aid in floor ward 5A, she asked me to pass the mineral water and the thermal flask together with the cups to this newly admitted patient in the room. I did what I was told. Then, not long after that, it was time to do observations for the afternoon session at 1 o’clock, and I went into this patient’s room with Puan Aida. This patient was on the phone when we entered his room. He was looking very angry, upset, and disappointed while talking on the phone. Puan Aida asked me to proceed with taking the vital signs. As I was putting the cuff around the patient’s arm, he ended his call and started complaining about the room. He said the room was disgusting because it was not cleaned properly. And Puan Aida agrees to what he says. Then he asked me what’s my name and I told him that, he asked his wife to write it down together with Puan Aida’s name also. I was dumbfounded at that time because I didn’t do anything and my name was written down by the patient. The patient says that there is already a thermal flask in the room, hidden behind the curtain, and he asks why I still bring in another thermal flask. I explained that I was only doing what I was being told. I remember feeling worried and anxious at that moment when my name was written down by the patient. I was worried he would complain about our services and blame us for not giving him the proper clean room. But Puan Aida said there was nothing to worry about as I did nothing wrong.
I am almost finished with my first-semester clinicals and wow! What an experience. I was able to watch a dressing of wound debridement and learn about skin traction, as well as meet some experienced nurses. I was on the floor of Ward 5A for four weeks and Ward 3A for another four weeks, and I have learned a lot. I was able to do vital signs on my patients, and I got a lot better at listening, both through my stethoscope and with my ears to their concerns.
I am only a first-semester nursing student. By now, I feel like I have experienced it all, but I know I have only seen a small fraction of what the realities of nursing are. Going forward with my clinical experience, I remind myself that I am a student and that the whole purpose of my clinical experience is to learn more and become better. Even though it is embarrassing at the moment, I also tell myself that it is okay to make mistakes, and it is better to make mistakes during clinicals with an instructor around than as a practicing registered nurse. I still struggle with all of the things I have mentioned, but I know that I have learned so much and feel so much better. To make it a little easier for me, I had a great clinical instructor who always reminded us that it is okay to make mistakes as we are going through a learning process and always pushed us to reach out of our comfort zone and perform better in our tasks, even if we were nervous.
I really admire my clinical instructors, both Puan Aida and Puan Maz, they are great people who are really passionate about their job and guide us students to learn more and be better persons we are today than yesterday. I can see that they really love doing what they do and they genuinely care about patients’ condition and hope to see that we will do the same thing in the future as a nurse.
I wanted to be like my clinical instructors, but after experiencing real situations in the posting area, it’s really difficult to say that some nurses forgot the main objective and purpose of becoming a nurse, they are only focusing on getting their jobs done and I am afraid that I cannot escape the inevitable to become like them in the future, which I hope I will never be like them.
I can’t say enough about the experiences I had in my first clinical posting. The floor nurses were so easy to talk to and really wanted to help me learn. My clinical instructor, Puan Aida, and also Puan Maz, was just absolutely fabulous. They taught me how to always have compassion for being a nurse, and they showed me how to dependably have empathy and truly care for my patients, and also to see that even a little bit of extra care can go a long way with someone who is critically ill.
So far, I enjoyed my time in the clinical posting area at Subang Jaya Medical Centre. It’s an extraordinary place to learn with an incredible gathering of educators and an incredible gathering of new companions.
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