Peculiarities Of Parenting In Islam

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Introduction

Islam declares marriage as a divine institution based on a sacred contract of marriage. Islam is custodian of the family system and assures protection to children. Children are born with a natural ‘predisposition for good’ and a faith in one creator. They are unlikely to have a natural inclination towards evil. A child is generally not capable of initializing any wrong. When it comes to their religious faith they imitate and follow folks around them. “No child is born except on al-fitra (Islam or primordial human nature) and then his parents make him Jewish, Christian or Magian, as an animal produces a perfect young animal: do you see any part of its body amputated?” (Sunan Abi Dawud , 4697). This hadith states that Allah has put a pure innate nature in an infant. He/she observes others and tends to apply what they have learnt from environment. “Parents who pray on time, fulfil their obligations, and avoid the prohibited with a desire from their hearts and out of love of Allah, will set the best example for their children.”(Hamdan, 2009).

Islamic view of parenting

“Everyone of you is a guardian and is responsible for his charges. The ruler who has authority over people, is a guardian and is responsible for them; a man is a guardian of his family and is responsible for them; a woman is a guardian of her husband’s house and children and is responsible for them; a slave is a guardian of his master’s property and is responsible for it; so all of you are guardians and are responsible for your charges.” (Sahih al-Bukhari, Vol 7, Hadith : 116).

Islam imposes high responsibility on parents for upbringing of children in the best possible ways following Islamic teachings. Islam considers children an ‘amanah’ to parents because sound character of children is associated with parenting styles. Children are a not only blessing, but also a huge responsibility on the shoulders of parents. Prophet (peace be upon him) said ‘Be kind to your children, and perfect their manners.’ (Sunan Ibn Maaja, 3671).

Parents will be held accountable if they demonstrate constant negligence or fail to meet the requirements of proper parenting. Prophet (peace be upon him) brought up his children with great Islāmic values. He showed them a balanced way of leading a life with dignity and instilled immense love. Although he carried a huge responsibility to guide Ummah, he treated his own family tenderly. He showed honor and affection for his daughter Fatima whenever she paid him a visit . Prophet set an example of successful parenting in terms of worldly affairs without neglecting matters about hereafter.

Short Story dealing with theme of parenting

‘Daddy, can you give me ten dollars’ is a short story which delivers a theme related to parenting. A 5 year old boy complains to his father about not spending enough time with him. Boy offers 20 dollars for an hour, which his dad earns usually working for the same length of time. This shows how much desperate a child becomes when deprived of a quality time with parents. The amount of love and affection they expect to fill colors in their lives only comes from parents.

There is a great deal of research on the separate roles of both father and mother figures. Kids are naturally closer to mothers seeking love and affection. Mothers share a greater part of parental responsibilities raising up a child who acquires most of the personality traits and habits from his/her mother. A responsible mother makes her children know that their father brings them best interests. Active fatherhood represents an authoritarian, protective and inspiring role model. A Father is supposed to cooperate with mother to socialize with children. Children inherit psychological and intellectual qualities from the father as well as their mother. They both create and maintain a balance and act as a source of practical advices.

“Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) kissed Al-Hasan bin `Ali while Al-Aqra’ bin H`Abis at-Tamim was sitting beside him. Al-Aqra said, ‘I have ten children and I have never kissed anyone of them,’ Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) cast a look at him and said, ‘Whoever is not merciful to others will not be treated mercifully.” (Sahih Al-Bukhari, 5997).

Brooks (2010) suggested that parents should be careful about the consequences of their child’s actions. They should focus on adopting proactive measures and analyzing the root causes of negative attitude in order to steer away the unwanted consequences. Parents can enforce self discipline by rewarding kids. Parenting is undoubtedly an art to learn and live through to establish a sound family system. Ali (May Allah be pleased with him ) has said regarding child upbringing “Play with them for the first seven years (of their life); then teach them for the next seven years; then advise them for the next seven years (and after that).’’ (Bayhaqi, 2004). Parents can seek assistance from the Islamic methodology of parenting. Muslim parents are entitled to great rewards in hereafter in return for their parenting efforts. “When a man dies, his action discontinues from him except three things, namely, perpetual sadaqah (charity), or the knowledge by which benefit is acquired, or a pious child who prays for him.” [Sunan Abi Dawud, 2874). Devoted parents prioritize their children over their own well-being. They struggle to provide basic necessities, education, health and safety. They nurture spiritual strength and ensure self -actualization with love and affection. The ultimate goal is to see children turning into independent and well rounded members of society. Numayr ibn Aws said, ‘They used to say, ‘correct action is a gift from Allah, but adab comes from the parents.'(Adab Al-Mufrad Book 5, Hadith 92). Islam constitutes a proper guide to raise kids in all walks of their life. They should be taught how to deal with friends on the playground, siblings at home, teachers in school ,and strangers as they grow up.

Current Times and Parenting

Today’s generation is facing multiple challenges of modern times around the globe. Children need to be saved from tyranny of the world so they can serve Muslim Ummah. Risks of steadily falling into bad company and loosing moral values are ever increasing. Amidst all these challenges parents often fail to provide for child’s basic physical, emotional and cognitive needs. Muslim children unknowingly face constant threats to their faith and character from electronic and social media.

Allah (SWT) says, “O you who believe, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones, over which are appointed angels, harsh and severe.” (Qur’an, 66: 6). This verse serves as a dire warning for Muslim parents. It implicates the significance of leading one’s family to paradise and protecting from hellfire. Sanctity of Muslim family needs to be preserved from western media, peer pressure and socio-cultural changes. Owing to all this western fitnah, role of parents has gained more importance in current times. They should be more committed to meet this top priority of fulfilling practical aspects of Islamic parenting.

Amidst all these challenges, modern gadgets keeps young folks busy in unhealthy activities. Parents can supervise the kids and control their belongings if they smell fishy.

Conclusion

“The family unit is regarded as the cornerstone of a healthy and balanced society.” (Doi,1984). Apart from reward in eternal life, hereafter, parents will reap the fruit of their parenting efforts in this world too. When they grow older, children would pay them back, bringing happy moments, respect and admiration which parents deserve and need the most. Also, they will turn up decent to their own offspring , continuing a happy family.

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Peculiarities Of Parenting In Islam

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