Nonverbal Analysis: Ross and Rachel From “Friends”

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Table of Contents

Introduction
Expectancy Violations Theory
Kinesics
Emotional Intelligence
Conclusion
References

Introduction

In the iconic television series Friends, Ross and Rachel are some of the most well-known characters in popular culture. Being both close friends and romantically involved throughout the show’s ten seasons, the characters have a complex development arc as well as stunning interactions played out by the actors David Schwimmer and Jennifer Aniston respectively. While the series is remembered for its witty dialogue, the acting and direction also present significant examples of nonverbal subtexts in the relationship and interactions of these characters. This paper will examine how Ross and Rachel demonstrated nonverbal contexts EVT, emotional intelligence, and kinesics provide subtle cues to the audience about their relationship, emotions, and status to support the dialogue.

Expectancy Violations Theory

In the series, Ross and Rachel have a complicated relationship. Ross was in love with Rachel while they were teenagers, but she saw him as her best friend’s dorky brother. When the present of the show starts, many years have passed. However, there is still some level of awkwardness as Ross’ feelings are being rekindled while Rachel seems to realize that Ross has become a very attractive man. When communicating and socializing with others, there are certain expectancies as people expect or predict particular behavior while interacting with others depending on context and relationship, or other social norms as dictated by culture. However, that perspective is not straightforward and has been challenged by what is known as the expectancy violations theory (EVT).

EVT consists of the four components of expectancies, expectancy violations, communicator valence, and violation valance. There are predictive and prescribed expectancies which the theory argues are present in all communicative situations. When expectancy is violated, it immediately brings attention to the characteristics of the violator as well as the meaning of the act, EVT believes that individuals on the receiving end begin to evaluate the communicator on a positive to negative continuum, known as communicator valence. Once the assessment occurs, there is a process of interpretation and evaluation appraisal, and eventually the individual determines whether the violation is positive or negative, and what the consequences should be in response. When the violation is deemed positive, it enhances the credibility and attraction of the violator, but when it is negative, it repels (Burgoon et al., 2021).

In the second season of the show, Ross and Rachel are navigating challenging territory, where both have feelings for each other, but are seeing other people, Ross having a potentially serious relationship. They are also part of the larger friend group and do not want to overstep the boundaries of friendship. At one point, Rachel leaves a drunken voicemail, confirming to Ross that she has feelings for him. This was the first violation of norm, as it crossed the line of platonic feelings of friendship that was part of their social interaction. In response, Ross although mad at Rachel, seems to have positively viewed the violation as his attraction grows. He abandons his relationship and comes to see Rachel after the closing of the coffee shop. They get into a fight and she tells him to leave, but instead of walking away, he comes back, and they share their first passionate kiss. Ross responds to Rachel’s violation, through a violation of his own by not leaving in a fight as expected, and then initiating a kiss, which further pushed beyond the friendship boundary. In turn, Rachel reciprocally kissed back, emphasizing her positive evaluation of this violation and growing admiration for Ross.

EVT suggests that people essentially evaluate each other on a range of factors including attractiveness, status, intelligence, charisma, and others, coming to a net evaluation of whether it is rewarding to interact with them, and at what level (Burgoon, 2015). This intersects partially with proxemics, suggesting that both physical and emotional space around each person is generally restricted, and only those deemed trustworthy and close can enter it without it being a violation. The valence continuum evaluates the individual, as Rachel and Ross did with each other, and leads to a resolution of the ‘violation’ through desirability of close or far proximity of the other individual.

Kinesics

Throughout their relationship, Ross and Rachel were close, both as a couple and as friends. Therefore, when interacting with each other, there was always chemistry present and neither hid their emotions. This was demonstrated often through the concept of nonverbal communication known as kinesics. Kinesics as generally defined as any sort of body movement, excluding physical contact with others, ranging from movement of hands, to eyes to posture and gait. It is believed that humans can demonstrate over 700,000 physical signs, while at least 20,000 expressions can be displayed using the 30 muscles in the face. Nonverbal signals are sent by kinesics, and humans have a unique capacity to recognize them since vision includes 80% of sensory perception (Burgoon et al., 2021).

When Ross and Rachel were on their infamous ‘break’ after a fight, Ross sleeps with another woman. Unknowingly, Rachel wants them to make up and continue their relationship, but eventually she finds out resulting in a big altercation between the characters. Rachel tries to get Ross to leave, but he wants to fix things and talk. Rachel is demonstratively angry as can be seen in her kinesics. She is fast paced, her tone of voice is loud, the facial expression demonstrates fury through widely opened eyes and scowl when she talks. She is standing with her hands on her hips, demonstrating assertiveness, exerting a level of power over Ross, and periodically throwing her hands up and using articulation that is aggressive and shows frustration. Meanwhile, Ross is very subdued during the scene, he seems scared and ashamed. His facial expression is one of sadness and seemingly close to tears, his shoulders are slouched, while he is leaning, half sitting on the couch, but noticeably tense at the same time. However, during the fight there are also shifts in the kinesics, such as Ross trying to stand up for himself, using hand gestures such as pointing and defensive articulation, suggesting that he was trying do everything that Rachel would not find out. In response, Rachel would seemingly use a softer approach, fully sarcastically, putting her hands on her heart (in combination with saying “that’s so sweet”) to defy Ross’ arguments, but only to rebound with more anger as she slams her hands down on the couch back and noticeably grips the cover in anger.

Kinesics as nonverbal communication can supplement verbal interactions, regulate interactions, convey a particular emotion or message, or exert power. Some of these signs are socially or culturally derived, while others are subconscious and are recognized at that level. Development of kinesics encompasses both natural and instinctual behavior (such as reaction to pain) that is present at birth, as well as socially designated movement to demonstrate a feeling or behavior (greetings differ based on culture) (Cai, 2019). Ross and Rachel demonstrate both kinds, as some their kinesics are obviously instinctual when overcome with emotion, while other signage (such putting hands on the heart) are socially learned, known as emblems, to demonstrate a particular emotion. They also show adaptors, which are touching behaviors and movements that indicate internal states such Ross’ anxious ticks or attempts to embrace Rachel. Finally, there is evidence of illustrators, gestures that are used to illustrate the accompanying verbal message, such as Rachel pointing at the door for Ross to leave or putting her hand up as a stop when saying, “get away from me” (University of Minnesota Libraries, 2016). Later, Ross gets on his knees embracing as Rachel is breaking up with him, begging her to not leave the relationship, another element of demonstration of a highly complex set of feelings and desires, that is defined by power dynamics in the specific context and social rules.

Emotional Intelligence

In navigating their complex and dynamic relationship, Ross and Rachel had to have a high level of emotional intelligence to understand each other’s deep internal state, emotions, and the various nonverbal communications demonstrated. Emotional intelligence is generally defined as the ability to comprehend, use, and manage one’s emotions as an underlying element of thoughts, actions, achievements, and the ability to understand the emotions of other people. Emotional intelligence consists of major components of recognition, understanding, motivation, and management (Burgoon et al., 2021).

In the episode described in the above kinesics section, there is an evident lack of emotional intelligence on the part of both characters. The persisting theme around this moment of Ross ‘cheating’ while they were on ‘a break’ continues throughout the show. Ross believes that since Rachel had technically broken up with him, his behavior of sleeping with another woman was not infidelity, and Rachel should forgive him. Meanwhile, Rachel believes that Ross was wrong for doing so because it was disrespectful towards her, happening essentially the day of their fight, and devalued any potential feelings Ross may have had towards Rachel since he did not even attempt to reconcile their relationship. Neither lacks the understanding of each other’s emotional position, but Ross more overall as being ashamed of his actions seems to refuse to admit how he has hurt Rachel.

Nonverbal communication and emotional intelligence have a dual relationship. Emotional intelligence is necessary to understand the true feelings of others based on the nonverbal cues. At the same time, the nonverbal communications are necessary to relay that emotional state, allowing for others to understand it using emotional intelligence and adapt or respond appropriately. Nonverbal cues can help an individual to even better understand themselves. A mismatch between nonverbal communication and verbal information in the context of emotional intelligence creates the sense of irony, often capitalized upon in comedic shows such as Friends (Jacob et al., 2016). Taking some of the elements from kinesics, in this instance Rachel misunderstands Ross defensiveness of the action, seeing it as potentially egregious but lacking the emotional intelligence to notice the deep shame and regret in Ross, and his defensiveness as a potential attempt to save their relationship. Meanwhile, Ross despite his shame, does not recognize the pain and hurt that he has caused Rachel, believing it to be a ‘technicality’ since he did not cheat and did not ‘enjoy’ the encounter as he was drunk. Ironically, he fails to understand that Rachel is not so much upset about whether or not the act was considered cheating, as how Ross has treated her and what this act represents about his motives towards her.

Conclusion

The nonverbal communication strongly contributes to the dynamic of the relationship between Ross and Rachel as seen in the series Friends. EVT helps to emphasize their social relationship and attraction, emotional intelligence and expression drives their interactions, and kinesics acts as supporting body language to non-verbally communicate their emotions to both each other and the audience. With the underlying aspects of nonverbal communication, their verbal dialogue becomes much more meaningful and interactions are enhanced in many ways.

References

Burgoon, J. K. (2015). Expectancy violations theory.The International Encyclopedia of Interpersonal Communication, 1–9. Web.

Burgoon J. K., Manusov V., & Guerrero L. K. (2021). Nonverbal communication. [VitalSource Bookshelf]. Web.

Cai, M. (2019). Reflection of cultural difference of the east and the west in nonverbal communication.Proceedings of the 1st International Symposium on Education, Culture and Social Sciences (ECSS 2019). Web.

Jacob, H., Kreifelts, B., Nizielski, S., Schütz, A., & Wildgruber, D. (2016). Effects of emotional intelligence on the impression of irony created by the mismatch between verbal and nonverbal cues.PLOS ONE, 11(10), e0163211. Web.

University of Minnesota Libraries. (2016). Communication in the real world. Creative Commons License. Web.

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