How Does Kamasutra Teach to Become a Better Woman?

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Table of Contents

Definitions
Causes of Kamasutra’s Appearance
Resolution of Beauty Standards
The Idea of Self-improvement
Problem of Sexual Life and Marriage
Conclusion
Bibliography

Definitions

Kamasutra (or Kama Sutra) is an ancient work by Vatsyayana analyzing the sexual behavior of males and females. It was written in Sanskrit; however, now it is a among classical works focusing primarily on sexual intercourse and desire, a goal of sexual life, relationships between partners, and physiological experience of sex. Due to its nature, the book has been misrepresented as a list of positions for sex. However, the text itself explores relationships between two people in love who want to achieve success in their personal life. It teaches women how to embrace and use their sexuality within the context of marriage.

Causes of Kamasutra’s Appearance

First of all, Kamasutra focuses on many topics of family life; however, one of the most prominent themes is sexual pleasure. At the time, when Kamasutra was written, female role in intercourse was passive (Chander 2015, 2-3). Even today, some people with stereotypes about women, sex, and family hierarchy, in general, consider the woman as an inactive party during sexual interaction. Kamasutra encourages equal participation of both male and female during sex. Participation is an essential aspect of sexual and emotional pleasure, according to the book. In fact, the book analyzes positions which might be dominant for one of the partners; however, the primary point of all of the position is to be involved in the process.

If one of the partners is inactive; hence, both of them will not achieve physical pleasure. The book is a type of sexual education for adults (Rao, Tandon and Das 2015, 84-85). Due to the fact that the theme of sex was a taboo for many centuries, there were not a lot of sources, where men and women can learn about sex and learn about techniques in it. Kamasutra became a type of sexual encyclopedia for both males and females. Nonetheless, for women, it played a significant role as they can finally justify their active and equal participation in sex. It taught women how to receive pleasure from sex, which was a moral milestone.

Due to the fact that sex was under strict taboo, in many instances partners did not receive any pleasure. Taking into account the conservative views of religious people back then, the sex had a status of a tool to conceive a child, even though it was a method to achieve physical pleasure. Nonetheless, many women did not receive any satisfaction, as both men and women did not know how to achieve this pleasure. Sexual life is an integral part of everyone’s development; hence, for women, Kamasutra provides theoretical knowledge on how to achieve this pleasure and do not be afraid to achieve it.

Equal participation of partners extends beyond the bed, as Kamasutra also promotes an idea of emotional pleasure and successful marriage. Women have to participate in the social life of the family as well and make decisions which have the same weight as the decision of a man. It is a severe and even provocative statement for that period (Chander 2015, 4). Nonetheless, it is direct equality which became a standard for a modern family. Women and men are in partnerships while being married and they have to cooperate with each other to achieve absolute success. Hence, Kamasutra guide for women to become an equal partner and a valued one.

Furthermore, sex might have an image of something mechanical and secondary in marriage, which is untrue. The book encourages and provokes partners to experiment and talk with each other during sex (Rao, Tandon and Das 2015, 85-86). Males must not be the single initiators of change or pleasure during sex, Kamasutra invites women to show their opinion about it, change it in the same way as men do. However, the goal has to be single for both of the partners – to satisfy one another. In many cases, women might be dissatisfied with quality of sex in marriage, and it is unhealthy. To prevent serious emotional problems, women have to speak up about the issues they might have.

Resolution of Beauty Standards

Acceptance of any type of a body is the next important context in Kamasutra. Throughout the history of humankind, there were always specific standards of beauty. However, the absolute majority of men and women does not match these standards. Hence, there was a body shaming policy in a way (Rao, Tandon and Das 2015, 87). For men, it was not as humiliating as it was for women. However, Kamasutra being progressive at that time promoted an idea that everyone can be happy and have pleasurable experience, despite the type of the body. It does not require partners to be thin, fat, slim, or slender. On the contrary, it embraces every kind of the body to try certain techniques in order to achieve pleasure.

Some women were anxious and paranoid about their state of the body. However, Kamsutra tried to break the stigma and see everyone as beautiful and capable of being happy. The book promoted realistic body image and complete appreciation of everybody’s body. It does not limit a particular type of body to a single technique. Hence, women learned about the freedom of having different shapes. Physical challenges after a pregnancy are normal for women and husband must help his wife to take care of her body during this difficult period. However, it still encourages women and men not to concentrate on the body, Kamasutra forces people to receive pleasure anyway.

The Idea of Self-improvement

However, Kamasutra strongly relies on an idea of self-improvement. Even though everyone should accept one another for who he or she is and not how they look, wives and husbands have to take care of their body. Wives have to participate in some physical activity, avoid being lazy, and stay healthy. The goal for physical exercises and procedures such as shaving have to be realistic. It also relates to hygienic methods such as bathing. Body should not be dirty or sick; it has to be healthy and clean for both men and women, as it is a sign of discipline and a desire to improve oneself. Some negative stereotypes see marriage as the end of personal growth, while Kamasutra denies that.

Problem of Sexual Life and Marriage

Furthermore, many married people face a difficulty of a lack of romantic side of life after the marriage. There might be different reasons for that; however, Kamasutra strongly encourages to be close to one another (Chander 2015, 6). Men might not show as many emotions as women typically do and this can ruin relationships. Instead of ending the marriage, Kamasutra encourages each partner to show emotional closeness and connection to one another. There is a stigma that marriage stops relationships and the routine starts. Even though it is a challenging task for both of the partners to maintain them, there is more than enough time to show affection and love.

As wives, women, as well as men, have to hug, kiss, and cuddle each other. Even though it is an obvious step in each relationship; however, some people might forget about it. The book understands a necessity of physical touches and contact. Kamasutra encourages women to touch their husband and vice versa. The physical touches lead to emotional comfort, and they increase happiness in the life of a married couple. Even though the routine is difficult; partners have to understand the value of something casual as a morning kiss. Women have to use these methods to help marriage stay healthy and stable. Furthermore, it increases the sexual pleasure of the partners as well.

At the same time, the book acknowledges the destructive effect of habits and routine on marriage. In order to prevent that Kamasutra teaches women to use their physical appearance as a motivation, provocation, and overall pleasure for men. Even though it might sound like the women are the only ones to impress men in marriage, Kamasutra has the same requirement for men. Wives have to dress in something unusual, something bright and beautiful in order to show what kind of happiness the other partner has close to him. “When she makes love… she wears gorgeous jewelry” (Mallanaga 2002, 95). It helps to tease in a lovely way one another and provoke emotions. Wives and husbands have to work hard to continue impressing each other, and it is a challenging task for someone who lives every day together for many years.

Mutual respect is one of the pillars of a successful and pleasurable marriage. It is hard to deny that without any respect the relationships can be considered valuable. Men and women have to try their best to understand each other. Even though partners have to help each other in challenging situation, it is more vital to show gratitude and appreciation of another partner for what he or she does. As stated above, it is a partnership, and it has to be in some way beneficial for every party (Rao, Tandon and Das 2015, 87-88). Women have to respect men’s privacy and the lack of desire to have sex and vice versa. These are fundamental principles of mutual support and respect that can help save the marriage.

Women also have to be able to demand respect and support from men. Marriage is an institution in which everyone has to participate and work hard. In case if women do their best and men do not, wives have the right to demand it from their husbands. Dissatisfaction and problems in marriage have to be discussed in order to resolve and prevent them. Otherwise, there might be a lot of conflicts and unresolved issues, which will be a serious obstacle for “intimate trust” and positive relationships (Mallanaga 2002, 94). As a matter of fact, it is a severe misconception to ignore the problems. Wives have a right to show their disapproval or disappointment with marriage if there is basis for that.

Moreover, both parties have to show that they are beneficial and valuable to one another. A role of wife has a set of certain duties and responsibilities: legal responsibilities, religious, ethical, emotional, sexual, and personal ones. In other words, they have to show that marriage works for another partner. Otherwise, there is no sense in saving and sustaining the marriage. Men have to understand that their life might be miserable without women, and women have to realize that men make their lives easier in marriage. In another way, these are benefits of marriage, according to Kamasutra.

Women also have a right to resist the negative attitude of their husband to themselves. For instance, the wife has “to avoid bad language” (Mallanaga 2002, 95). In other words, they can protect themselves and use adultery as a way to escape the negative life (Chander 2015, 7). Nonetheless, it is the last measure to stop husband from doing something wrong. Husbands might have a possessive attitude to their wives and see them as a type of property. A lack of sincerity and love can lead women to cheat and refuse from their husbands as it is their right to have a better life.

Kamasutra recognizes an essential right of women to decide what is right for them. Even though the book also analyzes strict social and marital traditions in India, still it is vital for the work to acknowledge women as their makers of happiness. Compared to contemporary values at that time, women did not have a lot of tools to change their lives. Being an influential and important source of knowledge, Kamasutra encourages women to protect their right to happiness and pleasure.

Conclusion

In conclusion, Kamasutra is progressive and proposes many valuable lessons for both men and women to learn about relationships, sexual life, and marriage. Since everyone aims to have healthy and happy relationships, the book can provide useful information for future partners. Undoubtedly, the theme of sexual satisfaction and pleasure is one of the priorities; however, the rights of women and their equal role in marriage are discussed as well. The book was ahead of its time and has helped to increase the influence of women on family life and personal relationships.

Bibliography

Chander, Rajesh. 2015. “Women Through the Indian Traditions.” International Journal of History and Research 5 (4): 1-8.

Mallanaga, Vatsyayana. 2003. Kamasutra. Washington: Oxford University Press.

Rao, Sathyanarayana, Abhinav Tandon, and Keya Das. 2015. “Sexual Myths and Misconceptions.” Intimacy Matters, 83-90. Web.

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