Hi! You worked on an International Relations essay for me not too long ago and I

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Hi! You worked on an International Relations essay for me not too long ago and I

Hi! You worked on an International Relations essay for me not too long ago and I received feedback for it and was hoping you can take the professors feedback and revise it for me! I got a B but the feedback was positive just needs a few tweaks.
Here is the feedback:
“This essay has a lot of potential but it does not begin well. You seem confused about what your focus. There’s no clear question, thesis or debate. You include a lot of superfluous information. It gets better toward the end when the focus seems to appear. Tweak this and it can be an A paper.”
I will attach the guidelines again and upload the original essay. Thanks!
Guidelines:
SUGGESTED OUTLINE
.
I. Brief Topic Description
II. Research Question
III. Hypotheses. Empirical and theoretical
IV. Background: More detailed topic description
V. Pro-Con debate
VI. Conclusion

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