Friendship at Different Points in a Lifespan

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Table of Contents

Goal of the research
Methodology
Limitations
Literature review
Research findings
How does the research relate to developmental psychology?
References

Goal of the research

This research seeks to find the role of friendship in peoples development. The research is informed by the notion that human beings thrive well in good relationships established in the society. Such relationships serve to affirm, encourage, advice and promote ones self esteem. While childhood friendship may simply thrive around the children that a specific child spends time with, age allows people to make more deliberate choices in their adolescent or adulthood friends. Usually, adolescents will maintain friendship relations with peers with whom they share common interests. The same happens in adulthood.

Methodology

This research is based on a review of existing literature. Two research findings from two research studies were used in the literature review. The findings were analyzed and the results indicated in the research findings section hereunder.

Limitations

This methodology is limited in its scope because this research is based on the findings of the authors featured. Due to time limitations however, a quantitative survey could not be carried out and hence the survey opted to make optimal use of the literature review.

Literature review

Fingerman & Lang (2004) have written about personal relationship that people maintain in different phases in life. In their opinion, the nature of personal relationships that a person maintains accompany, set forth or hold back developmental progress (p. 9). According to these authors, friendships not only arise from individual growth, but are also important outcomes of the same. Some of the identified influences on friendship include life experiences, maturation and the social context that people base their friendship relationships on.

In some cases, friendships can transcend cultural, generational, regional or time boundaries especially if such are based on familial, cultural, societal or institutional context. Right from childhood, people have a never ending need to relate with other people. As one moves from one developmental stage to the other, the extent of their interaction with the bigger society widens. This explains why just a handful of childhood friends remain as lifelong friends. Others simply become distant memories only to be remembered occasionally when reminders such as photographs are seen. The process of making new friends is a never ending one. As Fingerman & Lang (2004) observe, every new phase in the life of a person opens a new door to make new friends. New workplaces mean that a person has to relate well with people working therein. They may not be intimate friendships, but they are necessary and essential for growth in the work place.

The friendship ties that people develop in a lifespan serve different purposes. Fingerman & Lang (2004) note that in the social world, social ties serve to provide people with entertainment, inspiration, encouragement and help. More to this people involved in such social ties make demands and also influence a persons evaluation of themselves as well as other people.

Investigating the significance of romantic friendship in adolescents, and the effect on development in adolescents, Bukowski et al. (1998) observe that friendship are multi-dimensional and thus more efforts should be dedicated to understanding the different perspectives in personal relationships.

Friendships can be differentiated according to the purpose they serve for people. In childhood friendship, it is merely an end by itself. As people grow older however factors such as recreation and companionship shape friendship. Others include guidance, help, care, validation and conflict resolution (Bukowski et al. 1998). To children, friendship formation is mainly influenced by family relations (Bukowski et al. 1998). According to these authors, parents play a moderating role in the friendship relationships that their children take up.

Research findings

Based on the review of literature above, this research established that friendship evolves at different points in a persons lifespan. As young children, most friends are bound together by social interests like playing together. Friendship among parents also always means that the children develop friendship based on the amount of time their parents spend time as families together. As children grow up however, they interact with many more people and eventually start making independent choices about their personal relationships.

In teenage and adulthood, Hartup & Stevens (1999) observe that friends serve to foster each others sense of well-being as well as self-esteem. In addition to socializing with one another, friends support each other especially when coping with different transitions in life. One of the notable similarities across many friendships is that friends like to engage in similar activities in a lifespan. There are friends whose friendship revolves around partying or leisure activities, while there are others who can support each other during different difficult phases that people go through in life (Fingerman & Lang, 1998). Older friends may like sitting in the parks watching the clouds and reminiscing about the past, younger friends may on the other hand enjoy participating in group activities, while little children may engage in play. Friendship among young couples may involve holding hands and taking walks.

According to Hartup & Stevens (1999), the type of friendship a person maintains depends on the intimacy, stableness and support offered in the relationships. The developmental consequences of friendship however depend entirely on the character of people that one chooses to keep as friends. Friendships can be classified depending on their effect on the people involved (negative or positive) and their cost-benefits (emotional support, coercion or intimacy).

This study also found out that though the relative knowledge of friendship and knowledge is limited, such relationship among children could provide an ideal environment for cognitive development in them. In children who just started school for example, their ability to develop close friendship with others may affect the quality of time they spend in school. This may also affect their sense of being acceptable and hence their self-esteem. Children who keep to them may not easily make friends, and this in turn may lead to self-esteem issues.

In older people, not all types of friendships are positive as highlighted by Bukowski et al (1998). Asynchronous or imbalanced friendships are some example of relationships that may not promote the well being or development of the two parties in a relationship. Just like in children, adulthood friends are believed to influence each other. This means that friends work together to facilitate each other in performing a specific task or handling an identified issue. This then suggests that if the influence in such friendships is not positive, no positive development can be attained from the relationship.

Some of the things that became apparent in the course of this study include the fact that friendship in the different phases in ones lifespan is voluntary. This means that relationships are initiated, maintained and terminated at the will of the involved parties.

How does the research relate to developmental psychology?

According to Fingerman & Lang (2004), relationships are considered development units because of the mutual influence that they have on the involved parties. In dyadic friendship relationships, continuity and change may be some of the things that friends may have to put up with over the years. As a result, friends know each other so well that they can comfortably ask each other for favors, understand each others moods and even go for long periods without communication and still are able to maintain their friendship. A growing friendship on the other hand requires the people involved to invest in politeness and time as they get to know each other. It is for the above named reasons that this study argue that friendship allows people involved in relationship to understand and even share each others emotion.

In children, teenagers as well as grown ups, the need to relate with others, learn and have fun are part of developmental psychology that is influenced by friends. One of the developmental phenomenal observed in different points in a persons lifespan is that as children grow to adolescence and adulthood, they tend to choose their friends according to shared interests, morals or principles. In adolescence, people who were friends in childhood will part ways if they do not share common interests anymore. The same happens to adolescent friends on adulthood. A persons ability to establish friendship relations beyond their immediate environment (e.g. with people from other cultures and regions) may improve their personal development potential through a deeper understanding with other people and hence improved ability to relate with people therein.

In conclusion, it is apparent that friendships form a basic development agenda in human development because man cannot survive in exclusivity. One needs to relate not only with family members well, but must also relate with friends and colleagues.

References

Bukowski, W.M, NewComb, A. F & Hartup, W.W. (1998). The Company they keep: Friendship in childhood and adolescence. Developmental Psychology 29(1), 255-263.

Fingerman, K.L & Lang, F. R. (2004). Growing Together: Personal relationships across the life span. Web.

Hartup, W.W. & Stevens, N. (1999). Friendships and adaptation across the life span. Current Directions in Psychological Science 8(3), 76-79.

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