Conflict Analysis and Resolution Procedures

NB: We do not resell your papers. Upon ordering, we do an original paper exclusively for you.

NB: All your data is kept safe from the public.

Table of Contents

Introduction
Building the case
Analysis of the conflict
Conflict Resolution plan
Conclusion
Reference List

Introduction

Human beings are touted as the most complex creatures among all living things. Their complexity originates from their possession of intellect. What makes humans intriguing is the fact although they are endowed with this ability to operate in the higher realm where harmony and peaceful existence would be effortlessly attained, they often choose not. As a result, conflicts have become commonplace and are accepted as an inherent aspect of human existence. This has led to the development of a plethora of mechanisms via which conflicts can be abated. This essay explores the conflict phenomenon with a specific focus on the analysis and application of the conflict resolution procedures that exist in the conflict ethos to real life.

Building the case

This analysis shall be based on an observed conflict in which a married couple finds themselves in a continuum of conflicts that eventually lead to their separation. This couple, Husband and Wife, five or so years after tying the knot find it difficult to continue living peacefully and harmoniously. Their constant conflicts surface in all sorts of manners and measures which cannot all be enumerated but the gist of the conflicts is at all times more or less the same.

The husband believes that he is the boss in every aspect of their life and that the Wife cannot at any time come up with any constructive idea. Initially, she tries to be the good and respectable wife who keeps her cool and seeks to stay out of her husband’s way on all issues that are likely to brew a confrontation between them. After a while, she finds her efforts unappreciated and begins to get jumpy and easily irritated by the husband’s perception of life.

Her argument is that she is more intelligent and can reason better than the husband on most issues that affect them as a couple. This argument is founded on the fact that she has better high school grades and has a college education, while the husband does not. Although she has the decency of not telling this to his face, she tells it to friends who somehow get the information back to the husband. This causes the husband to conclude that her reasoning is immature and decides to frustrate her more so that she ‘matures up’. Despite her college education, she is forbidden from seeking any form of employment because the husband has a stable job and can provide. In essence, he provides only the basic things he feels are necessary from his perspective as a man. When the wife’s complaints become ‘too much’, he resorts to beating her up as a way of silencing her. He wants her to realize that he is the man of the house and deserves total submission and loyalty.

At some point, the woman decides to leave so that in her absence, the husband may realize how important she was to him. The husband is not perturbed by her move and decides to keep his cool.

Analysis of the conflict

From this case it is clear that there was, as Deutsch (1973) notes, a displaced conflict which was the cause of the never-ending confrontations between these partners. Superficially speaking, there were numerous conflicts between the partners but that was a symptom of an underlying issue which both partners were not willing to face directly. Deutsch (1973) argues that displaced conflicts are often based on issues that are too dangerous or complicated for the conflicting parties to address directly. The everyday conflicts that were experienced in this marriage are what Deutsch (1973) calls the manifest conflict. This type of conflict is triggered by an underlying issue which is often a very delicate matter. The underlying issue is referred to as the underlying conflict by Deutsch (1973). From this state of affairs, it is arguable that a displaced conflict takes the form of three different forms of conflict which occur simultaneously. This is because a displaced conflict is said to occur when there are manifest conflicts that are recursive due to a hidden trigger; the underlying conflict.

Applying this to the case in question, it emerges that the partners both had their own motivations which placed them on conflicting paths. The wife felt that she was supposed to be treated differently due to her perceived superiority but could not voice it out. This means that she considered it a delicate matter which could not be discussed openly with the husband. She thus remained silent on the issue and hoped that through acting the good wife, it might occur to the husband that he had a very intelligent wife.

The husband for his part finds it annoying every time the wife does not ‘behave’ as a wife should. Within himself, there is a particular way in which he wanted the wife to behave, but did not have the courage to sit her down and tell her. He too, assumed that by acting in a particular way (treating her cruelly), she would realize that there was something she was not doing right. Instead of adjusting in the right direction, she kept moving away from the desired behavior. His reaction was to increase a little more pressure on her (physical beating). Ignorantly, he thought that would forcibly bring her into submission.

Conflict Resolution plan

Being conscious of the fact that conflicts are an inherent part of human existence is vital in the process of dealing with them. Fincham, Beach & Davila, (2004) note that each individual is driven by needs. Thus in the process of seeking to satisfy these needs, individuals often find themselves on a conflicting path. However, there are conflict resolution mechanisms that have been carefully formulated by experts and have proved effective in resolving conflicts. A prime example of these mechanisms is the eight step model postulated by Dr. Dudley Weeks in his book The Eight Essential Steps to Conflict Resolution, 1994. His eight step model is used to develop a conflict resolution plan for the case in this essay.

To begin with, the counselor or arbitrator should request both partners to choose a time when they have no other commitments that can disrupt their session and mentally prepare beforehand to be honest and true to themselves during the process. The location for the meetings should also be mutually agreed upon by both partners so that each feels comfortable. Introductory remarks during the meeting should be friendly and encouraging to make the atmosphere relaxed. This can help people to open up and share openly. This is the first step of conflict resolution; creating an effective environment.

Clarifying perceptions is the second step. This is a phase that helps each of the three people involved in the resolution process to get to know what is going on. Every detail of the situation needs to be laid bare so that any misconceptions are all cleared. All parties need to be honest at this point.

The third step is to focus on the individual and share needs of the partners. The partners need to be guided to understand that they need each other. Each of them should be open and honest about their needs which are then weighed against the shared needs. It is at this point that the partners are encouraged to look at issues from a “we” perspective and not “I” (Schneewind & Gerhard, 2002). This can help the partners to realize that at times, it is worthy sacrificing their needs in favor of the share needs shared needs for the sake of their relationship. This phase can also help the partners realize that more often than not they secretly share common needs.

The partners are then encouraged to work on building shared positive power. Approaching issues in a united fashion brings with it a synergistic effect that eventually benefits both more than it would benefit each partner acting individually. This way, the partners understand that their powers when harnessed and pooled together positively cannot allow any obstacle to stand in their way.

The fifth step encourages the partners to look always forward and never look backward. This means that the focus should be in the future and not the past. The only time it is advisable to look back is when seeking to draw on past lessons to use them in the present or in preparation for the future.

Step six of the conflict resolution plan urges the partners to jointly generate options when confronted by a situation. The options should then be considered together with open minds which allow objective reasoning to arrive at mutually consented workable options. Any arising disagreements should be cast aside to allow focus on the chosen workable options.

The seventh step encourages the partners to consider the workable options from step six and use them to find out what is really doable and what is not. The focus should then be directed to the options that are doable in order to move forward. These should include ideas that do not unfairly benefit any side but both so that eventually, the actions taken meet the shared needs.

Finally, the partners need to make mutually beneficial agreements on how to deal with any issue they encounter. This way, they will be able to consider each other’s needs when looking at own their interests. Effort should be made by both to stay committed to the agreements and shared goals because this way, chances of finding themselves on conflicting paths are remote.

Conclusion

Conflict resolution calls for total honesty from the conflicting parties if it is to be achieved effectively (Levine, 2009). This implies that humans are called upon to operate in the higher realm of self awareness to avoid conflicts. In the case used in this essay, the partners are egocentric because each of them wants things to go their way. Although they do not get to tell each other so, it is evident in their actions and this propagates their conflict to dangerous levels. This couple like many others out there was perfectly compatible; they just did not realize it. What they needed most was help but did not seek it. This is often the case with many couples. The cry for help is often too late in coming and does not change much. Yet procedures such as the one outlined in the essay are effective and have helped many. Just for the record, the couple eventually got back together but the conflicts continued.

Reference List

Deutsch, M. (1973). The resolution of conflict; constructive and destructive processes. New Haven: Yale University Press.

Fincham, F. D., Beach, S. R., & Davila, J. (2004). Forgiveness And Conflict Resolution In Marriage. Journal of Family Psychology, 18(1), 72-81.

Levine, S. (2009). Getting to Resolution: Turning Conflict into Collaboration. Berrett-Koehler Publishers, 2nd Edition.

Schneewind, K. A., & Gerhard, A. (2002). Relationship Personality, Conflict Resolution, And Marital Satisfaction In The First 5 Years Of Marriage. Family Relations, 51(1), 63-71.

Weeks, D. (1994). The Eight Essential Steps to Conflict Resolution. G. P. Putnam & Sons.

Click Here To Order Now!