Category: Parents

Historically North American households have been characterized by a male breadwinner and a housewife. However, this pattern is becoming increasingly more rare as two-parent working households are three times more likely than they were just twenty years ago (Daniel, 2018 ). For many, this shift stems from the high standard of living or the expenses of necessities, food, clothing, transportation, and shelter, that require more than what most single-income households can provide. Other explanations suggest a large factor is the impressive growth of mothers entering the workforce post-pardum, a practice that is now culturally acceptable and even strongly urged. In contrast to previous generations where the mother would remain homebound and her primary duty would be to look after the child[ren]. Another influence in this change could be the government initiatives that have been “designed to reduce dependency on state benefits and improve family finances by encouraging more parents to take up paid work” (Ermisch & Francesconi, 2001). Whatever the incentive, this transformation is bound to have distinct effects on a parent, child and family dynamic. In this regard, a critical question to acknowledge is whether this shift has created a positive or negative consequence for the child[ren]. In this paper, we intend to examine the consequences of having two working parents (no stay at home parent) on child-rearing and development by discussing the new wave of female education, innovation and occupation, the opportunities derived from dual incomes and the loss of the nuclear family foundation.

Sociology is the systematic study of society and social interactions (Bereska & Symbaluk, 2012). It is described as a critical “window on the world”, something that gives us a broader perspective on the world that we wouldn’t otherwise have (Bereska & Symbaluk, 2012). That being said, examining family dynamics, specifically the relationship between children and parents and money and love is crucial to understanding the change in family forms throughout history from society to society and within societies (McDaniel & Tepperman, 2007). It is difficult to establish a clear causal relationship between these factors as there are many extraneous variables that can not be controlled, however we can comment on significant associations and correlations. In regards to dual-earner couples with children, this is a generally new phenomenon which is why it is so crucial to examine from a sociological perspective. Analyzing this shift can help us understand if having two working parents provides benefits that outweigh the negative impacts on child development.

An argument can be made that maternal participation in paid work could potentially limit opportunities for families to create nurturing environments by reducing the amount of time parents and children spend together (Chee, Conger & Elder, 2009). According to the U.S. Bureau of the Census, in 1998, 64 % of U.S. married mothers with a preschool child were in the workforce (1999), compared with 42% in 1981 (Sandberg & Hofferth, 2001). This increase is monumental for female empowerment and a shift towards a completely egalitarian society, yet it could have incidental side-effects for the children. Research done by Kyong Chee and Rand Conger suggests that the amount of unsupervised time after school for children or what is otherwise known as latchkey children can be associated with a mother’s time spent at a paid job away from home (Muller, 1995). This is not to say that maternal employment itself threatens child development, rather, incidentally, it can be assumed that a mother’s extended, irregular work hours may reduce opportunities for involvement in their children’s lives like what has been the previous norm (Sandberg & Hofferth, 2001). The dual-earner family is now the most common family form in North American society (Barnett, 1994), however, that doesn’t mean that parental roles have necessarily adapted to this new shift. According to Professor Nancy Hooymans and colleague Judith Gonyea, in most modern households, despite both parents working outside the home, mothers remain the primary caregivers in families, “without much relief from husbands for household responsibilities” (Hooymans and Gonyea, 1995). Women are still relied on to complete their housewife and “motherly” tasks while pursuing a career and succeeding in their field. Research has found that mothers working long or irregular hours are at greater risk for experiencing emotional distress because those strenuous conditions are likely to interfere with family responsibilities such as parenting duties (Sandberg & Hofferth, 2001). This distress can be offset if the father is present and equally responsible in the caregiving process because the stress would then be reduced for the mother. This is important because a mothers’ emotional health can be linked to how nurturant and involved they will be with their children (Muller, 1995). To summarize, work has an implicit effect on a mother’s parental abilities as it can be a trigger for emotional distress which can be transferred to home life.

Parents are a critical part of a child’s development as they provide the foundation for kids to grow, learn and mature. They are relied on for both their time and money to ensure their offspring has the optimal necessities for success. This relationship is complicated because parents time at work is usually equated to more money and less time devoted to their children. A common favourable argument for two working parents is the economic benefits it provides. Having dual incomes is usually a good indication of living above the poverty line, although there are exceptions, most two-income families can sufficiently provide financially for their family. This financial stability allows for numerous opportunities to participate in school extracurricular, travelling experiences, sports and arts that help children create meaningful friendships, develop social skills and learn how to cope with adversity. Additionally, children at a young age have the opportunity to interact with new people outside of the home. By having two working parents children are usually put into a daycare where they get the opportunity to learn socialization skills with other children, and how to take direction from an elder other than their parents (DelliQuadri, Lauderdale, Anderson, & Cramer, 1978). It is valuable for children to develop these interpersonal communication skills outside of the core family unit. In a dual-earning relationship considering that both parents have a full time job, it can be assumed the couple is ready for a child and can financially support and afford the child. Dual earning couples are often prepared for the child and are capable of raising it in a supportive home with enough money to support them (DelliQuadri, Lauderdale, Anderson, & Cramer, 1978). Another benefit is the job and education opportunities children are rewarded with when their parents are financially able. Often children who graduate from primary education while growing up in a dual working family are afforded better secondary educations than those who come from single working families (Daniel, 2018). A pivotal study done by Ronald Bulanda examines the argument that a children’s quality time with their parents is more important than quantity time. Bulanda suggests that working parents who prioritize family time together and are committed to their child’s wellbeing are just as capable of establishing a healthy bond with their child as non-working parents (2009). Spending copious amounts of time together can not guarantee having a secure, healthy attachment with your child. It requires a combination of factors that are needed in quality not necessary quantity; love, nurturing, commitment, attending to your child’s physical needs and developing a sense of connection to your child (Bulanda, 2009).

Some researchers have suggested that having two full-time working parents is associated with their children’s educational failure, early childbearing, and mental health issues. Research on this issue has argued that a “person’s subjective experiences at work or at home arouse a set of feelings that are brought into the other arena and affect the tenor and dynamics of life in that arena” (Barnett, 1994). This suggests stress or emotional distress that is experienced at work is typically brought into the home influencing the family dynamic. Work-to-family stress is the displacement of anger and frustration from a day job that comes home and gets displaced onto the family in the home. In single-earning couples the male would often be the earner and his stress would come home and be displaced on the wife at home or would not be displaced. With both parents working outside the home, displacement stress can occur from both parents and be deflected onto the opposing spouse as well as the child. (Minnotte, Minnotte, & Pedersen,2013). With the increase of dual-earner relationships, the increase of non-standard working hours has increased. Parents in a dual-earner relationship sometimes try to balance their work hours so that for the majority of the day there is someone at home to be with their child/children. By doing this, parents often have irregular shift hours which has detrimental effects on the parents eventually deflecting onto their child/children. “Shift work is associated with lower marital quality (Yucel, 2008), lower efficiency on the job, poorer sleep, and lower mental health (Yucel, 2008)”. Lower marital quality can cause stress on the child in the home and presents issues for the child like anxiety, isolation and restorting to deviant behavior as an outlet or a cry for attention. This is especially noticeable if the low marital quality results in divorce. Mental health struggles of the parent can have developmental effects on children, causing a separation between the parent and the child, and ultimately affecting their development as they grow up in that environment (Yucel, 2008).

Emotional stability is key to a successful development of a child, in the absence of emotional stability a child’s development risks issues such as delinquency, low self-esteem, problems in school and daycare programs as well as a lower level of well-being (McDaniel & Tepperman, 2007). The ability for a child to bond with their parents is crucial in healthy emotional and social development because it gives them the foundation to feel safe, secure and loved and in turn be able to return these gestures. Thus a parent-child bond is an important predictor of a well developed child. The absence of the parents can result in a child feeling unloved which can cause the child to suffer emotional damage that may be long lasting (McDaniel & Tepperman, 2007). Referring to Bowlby’s theory of attachment a child is likely to suffer distress when separated from their parents and feel loved, secure and confident if they know their parent is nearby. If this is true adequate child development would involve having a parent around for a large portion of the child’s critical development years, or in other words a stay at home parent.

Life with absent parents as a young child is very difficult and has somewhat of an empty feeling to it. Growing up as a young child without a mom and/or dad takes years of putting things back together and figuring out life. It is extremely hard going into adulthood trying to learn and take on responsibilities that parents should have taken the effort to show to the child. Lack of parent involvement has caused a rise in need for emotional and behavioral health care. This has cost the US millions of dollars in debt and we as a society have become much weaker due to this. Parents should be mandated to raise their children, and if they don’t, the parents should be punished in order to protect children.

Parents and their involvement have an irreplaceable role in a child’s life. Parents provide a child with morals and values and overall help then navigate through life. According to family researchers, Osofsky and Fitzgerald, “Symptoms, such as extreme fearfulness, helplessness, hopelessness, apathy, depression, and withdrawal are indicators of emotional difficulty that have been observed among very young children who experience inadequate parental care.” Having both parents helps a child better form relationships and stronger connections going into adulthood. It also helps the child mentally by helping them learn to regulate emotions and navigate difficult situations. Teens that have both parents are less likely to smoke, drink, and use drugs. A parent may be absent for many reasons and in different ways. Not all absent parents are physically absent; some are emotionally absent or dependent on drugs which cause their absence.

The absence of a father in a child’s life affects them dramatically, especially when going into adulthood. More than 1 in 4 children live in a home without a father. The absence of a father drastically increases the risk factors as a child enters childhood. According to a report by The Annie E. Casey Foundation which manages the KIDS COUNT Network children without a fathers presence are four times greater at risk of poverty, seven times more likely to become a teen parent, six times more likely to have behavioral challenges, two times more likely to be a victim of abuse, five more times more likely to be a victim of neglect, two times greater of dying at birth, three times more likely to go to prison, two times more likely to be obese, eight times more likely to commit a crime, and twice as likely to drop out of high school.

The absence of a mother or mother figure impacts a child drastically. Children whose parents do not fulfill either of these roles, even though they are physically present, can experience severe emotional conflicts. The effects of absent parents on a child often leave him unable to form healthy relationships, or he may have stress related illnesses due to the unresolved conflicts of his childhood. Many adults still struggle with the emotional turmoil they experienced in childhood caused by parents who were physically or emotionally absent. What may cause even further distress is that the very parents who were absent in a person’s childhood will demand or require the physical and emotional support as they age that they never provided for their children. The absence of a parent may be an advantage if that parent has a toxic personality or if they might harm the child If one parent is absent, the remaining parent may be loving and kind and do their best to fulfill the child’s needs, but the missing parent’s absence will still affect a person, not only when they are young, but as an adult. Absent parents are a trope in children’s and young adult novels. In fiction, the absence of a child character’s parents usually frees the child or young adult to follow their own dreams and adventures, to become independent, to bond with friends, and to learn about life and themselves. Though the effects of absent parents are mostly positive for young fictional characters, they are generally negative for real life children. While the fictional characters find adventure and maturity in these novels, real-life adults usually suffer emotional fallout due to the absence of parents in their childhoods. Adult children who lament the lack of a relationship with a parent who continues to absent themselves from their adult child’s life as they did in childhood. Others are happy to be away from their toxic parents who failed to provide the love and concern they needed during childhood. Others are conflicted between wanting a relationship with their parents and avoiding one because they know it will only cause them pain. The reasons for a parent’s absence ranges from the avoidable to the unavoidable: loss or relinquishment of parental rights, abandonment, negligence, preoccupation with grief or the illness of another child, work, death, incarceration, divorce, mental or physical illness, drugs or alcoholism, or hospitalization. Some parents are physically present, but they are emotionally absent and do not fulfill their roles as parents. Others may be narcissists or are otherwise psychologically unsuited to be a parent. They may be cold and distant or verbally and/or physically abusive. For whatever reason, some parents fail to fulfill their parental duties. In some cases, the child absences herself from her parents, often because her parents were either emotionally, physically, or sexually abusive or harmed them in some way. Even though a child makes the choice to leave, they still experience the absence of their parents. A parent’s role is to provide for the physical wellbeing of a child, to teach the child morals and personal values, to train the child to navigate life, to provide emotional support, love and protection, and to make sure the child receives an education. Modern parents are also expected to have a close, healthy relationship with their children and to make them happy and give them every advantage in life. Mothers are generally expected to be nurturing as well as to work if necessary, fathers are usually expected to financially provide for his children and to be the disciplinarian and moral guide; however, this is not always the way things play out. Sometimes the father is the caregiver and manages the home. Children whose parents do not fulfill either of these roles, even though they are physically present, can experience severe emotional conflicts. At times circumstances can make it impossible for parents to be involved in their children’s lives yet the impact of this for the young ones is disheartening. It is unfortunately rampant in society nowadays to have one of the parents abandon their children, even in homogeneous societies backed by principles which used to guard communities from this kind of situation. For various reasons ranging from separation, divorce, profession and death, to many others, we have witnessed in our society cases of single parenting, mostly affecting mothers and children. “Lack of parental emotion and attachment often affects children as they become defensive and baited. Their comportment as a grown up is unconsciously triggered by their emotional childhood isolation,” Neglected children often don’t realize they are being neglected at the time, and can internalize the pain and loneliness and think it is their fault. They are often told they are “too sensitive” or “selfish” if they try to get their needs met. Parents with little empathy often neglect their children and don’t even realize it, while there are also parents who don’t care. Either way, the child grows up wondering about their own self-worth and value. “If you were emotionally or physically neglected as a child, it can be a difficult journey to heal. Traumatic experiences like abuse and neglect have an adverse effect on children’s brain development. As the child matures the developing brain changes in response to the child’s environment.” Studies and clinical experience also show that childhood abuse and neglect can impact a child’s emotional development. In my practice, I see adult clients who were neglected, and most have symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder and significant trauma to resolve. If there was a lack of emotional attachment in childhood, this also affects relationships later in life and can make it difficult to trust others. It’s very essential for a child to be raised by both parents without excuses because it gives them a sense or feeling of association, love and security. This way, they learn how to associate, love and be there for others.

A child is also able to learn different characters from both parents since we all grow differently and have different characters. “A child learns and acquires skills pertaining problem solving simply because like aforementioned, we have different characters. Children are able to learn both maternal and paternal cultures and norms with their families and their backgrounds; this involves learning the languages too, which in time helps them to survive.” She believes that since it takes two to make a baby, it should be the same when it comes to raising them since each parent has a specific role to play in bringing up a happy and healthy child. “Because every child is unique, the effects may differ individually but generally, research has revealed that children with single parents tend to have issues such as drug or alcohol addiction.” “Children who grow up without their fathers, (especially if they are alive) have that feeling of resentment. And you will see those who grow in the absence of their mothers, always have emotion of sorrow and they miss that love from a mother which in turn affects their own caring act.” It is really absurd how some parents avoid the responsibilities to be present in the lives of their children. Children need role models and mentors to be inspired and get a clear picture before starting families.

Today the BBC has reported that TikTok has been fine 186 million won by the Korean Communications Commission for the mishandling of children’s data who are under the age of 14 because TikTok collected data from children without parental consent (BBC, 2020). The standard protocol of companies and governments has been and will continue to be that the parent or guardian will control the private data of their children. But what about when parents release details about their child?

While parents control their child’s data, adults should be educated about the potential repercussions of posting sensitive details about their child and how it can affect their future. Parents should also retain control of the privacy of children but, the child’s decisions have shown to be equally relevant in some scenarios as is shown in pre and post-digital era governance.

In the United States of America and correspondingly in other western nations there is governance which has previously, explored similar ethical issues regarding the release of sensitive details of a minor. Two USA based legislations that explore this include HIPAA (The Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act of 1996), COPPA (The Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act of 1998), and the European Unions Right to Erasure under GDPR (General Data Protection Regulation of 2016/679).

When exploring HIPAA; the act recognizes that Parents including guardians have the right to make health care decisions for them. As such they and the child generally have access to their children’s protected health information and can release said info as needed. Some exceptions to this include when the minor consents to care and consent is not required by a parent under state or other law when the minor obtains consent by a court, and when the minor obtains permission from the parent for a confidential relationship with the provider (Office for Civil Rights Headquarters, 2002).

With COPPA, the act recognizes the parent’s right to access and put parents in control of their children’s information to review, gain access to, consent to, or remove said information for children under 13 (Federal Trade Commission, 2015). It is accepted that access and consent to information by a parent or guardian is granted under US governance in most circumstances. This includes the release of information and could be extended by virtue into posting photos, information, etc.

However, when we look at HIPAA the individual can make informed decisions about their privacy should it reduce harm to that individual. This is something that should be taken widely into consideration of privacy decisions with technology as well.

In the event of which public information is disclosed which can harm an individual, it should be ultimately up to said individual to have a larger say in the right of removal or right of erasure. This very topic is implemented in the EU whereby both adults and children can request in most circumstances the removal of information (International Commissioner’s Office, N.D.). For example, someone who is no longer a child or someone who can competently exercise their own rights can request the erasure of data. Or have their voice taken into consideration even if they are a child for the consent of collection of data.

While there are certainly benefits and downfalls to each option, a blend of policy from HIPAA, COPPA, and Right to Erasure will enable the implementation of ethical policies that take into consideration contemporary technological capability and context. My proposal is this: Parents or Guardians must be made aware of and educated through the platform around the privacy and outcomes of supplying information about children.

In each instance of a data release request, the platform should identify through a combination of AI learning and algorithmic that a child’s data is about to be made public. A unified easy to read education structure will then educate the user on who can see the information, who has access, and who can control the information. At which point individuals can make a consented choice in the release of a data request as to whether they would like to continue or go back without releasing data.

Should the individual request for the erasure of data about themself it should be upheld in most scenarios.

Ultimately the governance in multiple countries states that a parent should retain the accessibility of data for their children. Easier communication of how the data is used should be implemented by business and government to make better-informed decisions by parents while adhering to the individual’s choices as well. We can educate consumers about scams when transferring money, or their dietary needs on the packaging. Why should data privacy controls remain in its infancy due to it being put on the back burner?

References

1. BBC. (2020, July 15). TikTok fined for mishandling child data in South Korea. Retrieved July 21, 2020, from https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-53418077
2. Federal Trade Commission. (2015, March). Complying with COPPA: Frequently Asked Questions. Retrieved July 21, 2020, from https://www.ftc.gov/tips-advice/business-center/guidance/complying-coppa-frequently-asked-questions
3. Office for Civil Rights Headquarters. (2002, December 19). 227-Does the HIPAA Privacy Rule allow parents the right to see their children’s medical records. Retrieved July 21, 2020, from https://www.hhs.gov/hipaa/for-professionals/faq/227/can-i-access-medical-record-if-i-have-power-of-attorney/index.html
4. International Commissioner’s Office. (n.d.). How does the right to erasure apply to children? Retrieved July 21, 2020, from https://ico.org.uk/for-organisations/guide-to-data-protection/guide-to-the-general-data-protection-regulation-gdpr/children-and-the-gdpr/how-does-the-right-to-erasure-apply-to-children/

Historically, most families have always survived on a single source of income. Such was not only comfortable but also common then. However, those days are gone and parents now have to juggle their parental responsibilities and professional life. This is a result of decades of ever-increasing living costs and stagnating pay checks. Recent statistics by the United States Department of labour indicate that 47% of the workforce is women with most parents opting to work overtime (Hautzig & Doty, 2016). In this regard, most parents are seeking flexible jobs that can allow them to balance work and life responsibilities without one affecting the other.

Organizations need to consider these trends and adjust workplace policies to accommodate working parents. First, most parents want to work in organizations that offer paid paternity and maternity leave. This provides them with the freedom to bond with their babies without experiencing financial constraints. For the organization, it benefits from improved employee productivity and attitude.

Parenthood usually has unexpected situations that require the immediate attention of the parents. Therefore, most parents need flexible work arrangements that can accommodate emergencies as they work more than eight hours a day. Parents want organizations that can adjust their work schedules to meet the individual needs of the employees. Such policy not only improves employee productivity but also provides them with additional bonding time with their families.

It is very difficult for employees to transition for leave to work especially for parents with young children. In this regard, parents need organizations that provide remote working, paid days off, and on-site nurseries (Oeij et al., 2017). Also, they need travel relief, especially in circumstances where they have to breastfeed babies.

An organization needs to create a supportive culture with employee assistance program. While encouraging this, the organization should still strive to encourage professional development.

Understandably, most parents are scared of taking young kids to day-care. Most of the time they need to constantly check and breastfeed their young ones in the day as they progress with their work. Such parents want to work in companies that offer subsidized onsite childcare. Some organizations may also offer full-day kindergarten to allow parents to fulfil parental responsibilities. By providing this, employers are also able to increase employee productivity. this equally benefits the organization.

Although accommodating working parents can be costly to the organization, it is critical to enhance productivity and promote employee wellness (Burke & Calvino, 2017). Personally, most parents prefer a workplace where they can communicate freely on their concerns. It is therefore important for an organization to support systems that allow the same. Parents also want to work in organizations that strive to address gender bias because they have spouses and children. The working environment should also be safe so that parents can feel comfortable with their children.

Conclusively, it is equally benefiting to a parent and an organization to have policies that seek to ensure maximum work-life balance. With the globalization of the workforce, parents are under immense pressure to meet their parental responsibilities. Other policies that parents want to be implemented at the workplace include mentoring programs, lactation support, parental benefits, and leave support.

Organizations need to offer working parents flexible work schedules evaluate parental leave policies, implement ‘baby at work’ policies’, and encourage professional development in the light of all these 21st-century workplace pressures. Such measures allow organizations to compete for top talent in the global workspace.

“From a young age, children are sensitive to difference in parental treatment”

Today kids are tomorrow pillars of our country. The precious gift to mankind who is most beloved and perfect in its innocence is a child. When the child grows many problems were faced by to the Parents, especially the parents who having more than one child sibling rivalry are one part of it. In India a survey was conducted, there is more than one child in the family; rivalry is unavoidable part between two children. In worldwide 30-60% of children were affected with sibling rivalry and in 2004, in childhood 190 behavioural disorders were occurred, 1,022 cases were unspecified mental disorders.1 In India, nearly 35% of total population is primary school children. Risk development of children with rivalry are – fighting and competition between two children mainly to show their talent, they feel that they are separate from their siblings, parent’s attention is unequal amount, discipline and responsiveness, child felt that their relationship with their parents are threatened by the arrival of a younger sibling, finally it results with jealousy.2 sibling rivalry is closely associated with other psychological problems of emotional and behavioral disorders. The prevalence of sibling rivalry is great impact on child development, in order to reduce their emotional and behavioral disorders later.

Research literature was reviewed with regard to sibling rivalry, its prevalence in child population and knowledge on sibling rivalry among mothers of children. A literature search was conducted with the following search terms, key words and phrases- ‘sibling rivalry’, ‘prevalence of sibling rivalry, emotional & behavioural problems’, ‘mothers knowledge, practice & attitude’, ‘Parental Empowerment Programme’. The search was performed in the following database- goggle scholar and pub med.

Sibling Rivalry

Sibling Rivalry is the competition between brothers and sisters for their parents’ attention. Every child need love, affection & attention from their parents.3 Due to lack of parents knowledge on handling rivalry, they have a competitions and jealousy within siblings. Through parental education significant setback and to be concentrated as much as probable. Parents who having more than one child they struggling with sibling rivalry. The emotional disturbances between siblings is often complicated and it was influenced by some of the factors such as parental treatment, birth order and personal experiences etc.4 Nearly 4 million children between 0-5 years of age suffered from competition to their siblings, parents are neglecting a rivalry and in extreme level of rivalry and these effects leads to sibling abusing.5 The symptoms of sibling rivalry typically starts from early childhood and 20-30% of children may continue to have such type of symptoms into adulthood too.6 Particularly when children are very close in age group and with the same gender.

Signs of Sibling Rivalry

Children show some of these signs were fighting –physical and verbal injury, frustration, demanding, attention, tattling, bulling, name calling, regressive acts like thumb sucking, bed-wetting, baby talk, temper tantrums.

Older children may show these signs: arguing constantly, competing for their friends, sports with grading, taking other one objects and stealing it, playing with loved one pets or other people to irritate other one.3

Reactions to a New Baby

Sibling Rivalry is an arrival of new baby into family circumstances. Children may show;

Some of these signs: anger towards the baby (hitting, kicking, punching, biting), asking for the baby to go back in mother’s tummy or back to the hospital or send back to someone’s home. Demanding more attention from parents.3

Sibling rivalry is a common problem, faced by parents who have more than one child. It usually starts after the birth of a second child and it affects both the children and parents. Parents play an important role to manage the rivalry in children. Therefore to create awareness it is essential for parents to have adequate knowledge regarding to handle sibling rivalry.

Parental Empowerment Programme (PEP)

Parental Empowerment Program (PEP) offers an opportunity to increase the support of parents to mange and to take care of their children.

• Parents as Teachers – teaching perspective includes the discipline and building skills of their children.
• Effective Praise – an effective praise is helps the Parents to learn more to encourage steps of right direction and to identify the positive solutions for children with some behavioural problem.
• Preventive Teaching –set their children up for success, the Parents should learn to teach their children.
• Corrective Teaching –Parents learn to practice pro-social alternatives for problematic behavioural children it is more importance to correct it earlier.
• Teaching Self-Control–to identify children with emotional disturbance and want to communicate with them in a helpful manner about self control of children.
• Teaching your child to problem solve –teaching their children is important to solve a problems among themselves is an effective with the help of parent’s guidance.
• Setting goals through the use of charts and contracts –goals should be set prior to the children to choose their own choice to reduce the conflict between them.
• Family Traditions and Family Meetings –importance to establish the family traditions and spending time with them.8

Sibling Rivalry among the general population- Prevalence & associated factors

A Psychiatric morbidity profiles in a child was conducted a study in Madhya Pradesh as reflected by the estimated prevalence of behavioural problem ranging from 11.82%. Several meta-analyses documented that emotional and behavioural disorders among children have an increased risk for developing sibling rivalry when compared with the children population.9

Recent data from a study was conducted in Karnataka it indicates that an emotional problem in children as reflected by the estimated prevalence ranging from 21.08%. Several meta-analyses documented that emotional disorders among children with poor academic performance have an increased risk for developing sibling rivalry compared with the child population.10

Child abuse and neglect study was conducted in Canada (2001) a study results shows that 135,573 were approximately to the cause of sibling rivalry, they were developed child abused. Over all physical abuse rate of 22%. In this study it shows that sibling violence is the one of the most frequently occurring in forms of family violence. 11

Detect the family size, sibling rivalry among migrated population in Mexico. The study shows that 50,000 households around country it reprehensive the Mexican population it report the results revealed after the completion of a study and the results show that p value of sibling effects is > 0.088. There is major impact of Sibling Rivalry in migrated population. 12

The prevalence of behavior problem in rural area was high 98%of school going children had behaviour problem the data was obtained by parents of school going children, On the bases of structured questioner checklist of behavioural problem (Such as jealousy, school phobia, hyperactivity, Sibling Rivalry and fighting). Only 2% school going children had normal behaviour, 36% had mild behaviour problems, 57.5% had moderate behaviour problems and 5.5% of them had sever behaviour problems.13

Cases on sibling rivalry and offspring conflicts have been on the rise though hardly reported, particularly in Asian countries for fear of retribution and shame to the family. The outcomes from the reviews will highlight that increasing plight of siblings victimized or demoralized by their own family member, be it a brother or sister. 14

A study shows that relationship between parents and child were influenced by various factors, it appears between relationships of siblings. The study results revealed that the subjects agreed that more frequent interactions of negative feeling between siblings was maternal absence and correlation was drawn between quantity of time spent with children and sibling rivalry. Study finding revealed that level of significance is 0.05. Responses revealed that participants disagreed with the statement; the degree of Sibling Rivalry is impacted by working mothers.15

Sibling Rivalry- Knowledge, Practice & Attitude

A study was focused on Video assisted teaching module it was conducted in Bhopal on knowledge regarding sibling rivalry and its management among mothers. The study results represent that the significant improvement in (15.3+4.99) mean knowledge score and significant association between knowledge of mothers with their demographic variables. The study concluded that effective in improving the knowledge on Sibling Rivalry management.16

Comparative method study was conducted in Maharashtra among employed and unemployed mothers of children with behavioural problems between the age group of 1-5 years. The result reported that 66-34 % of employed mothers and 78-22 % of unemployed mothers with children as behavioural problems. The study result revealed that the absence of mothers at home leads to behavioural problems in the children.17

Among Mothers of Children between the age group of 1-5 years in selected Pediatric units of Kochi. The study reveals that 32 among 65.6 % had average knowledge regarding sibling rivalry and its prevention. 53.1% had positive attitude towards sibling rivalry was half of the parents were more in nature about sibling rivalry and its prevention. Between knowledge and attitude regarding sibling rivalry is positive correlation. In this study, it concludes that most of the parents had average knowledge was present and different views about Sibling Rivalry had for each one and its management.18

A Study on descriptive survey conducted in Mangalore among mothers of children in selected hospitals. The study result showed that 50% of mothers had inadequate knowledge and remaining 50% had moderately adequate knowledge regarding sibling rivalry. The study concluded that half of the study subjects had inadequate knowledge and remaining had moderately adequate knowledge on sibling rivalry.19

Pre experimental study was conducted in Chennai on management of sibling rivalry among mothers of children. Highly significant ‘t’ value were found to be than the table value at P Non-experimental survey was conducted in Bangalore. The study findings shows that 14% of mothers falls in adequate knowledge and 23% of mothers shows high attitude regarding management of Sibling Rivalry.67% of mothers in moderate attitude and 10% of mothers in low attitude. Pertaining the demographic variables and attitude level, statistically association was found. In this study it represents the demographic variables were influenced the level attitude among mothers.21

Parents with more than one child

Randomized controlled trial was conducted for Iranian mother to evaluate the effectiveness on stress, anxiety who have premature infants. The study results revealed Mothers in intervention group reported significantly less anxiety and less stress in the NICU after performing each phase of the Creating Opportunities for Parent Empowerment Programme (COPE) P value was < 0.001, whereas at this time, the level of stress in the comparison group was increased. The study was concluded that COPE is effective to reduce the anxiety and stress.22

Randomized interventional and comparative study was conducted in Hong Kong among immigrant parents of preschool children. In this study 6 sessions of Hands on parent Empowerment (HOPE) was implemented to interventional group. Results indicated significant decrease in post-intervention of child behavior problems and parenting stress and increase in social support in the intervention group, compared with the comparison group. Implications for service delivery for parents of preschool children were discussed.23

Summary of review and need for further research

From this review, it is an apparent that a study less number of studies related to sibling rivalry conducted in National and International level. Regarding Parental Empowerment Programme (PEP) with sibling rivalry studies was not done in India but internationally the study on Hands on Parent Empowerment Programme (HOPE) among mothers of preschool children to identify the behavioural problems was done. One review indicates that, behaviour problems and parenting stress and increase in social support in the intervention group. Other review says that the prevalence of emotional and behavioral problem morbidity profiles. Based on this review, existing significant association between the socio-demographic variables with Knowledge, attitude & practice among parents. This review emphasis the influence on emotional disturbances of children for their parent attention is a risk of developing sibling rivalry. This review highlights that fact of mother knowledge with more than one child, emphasis needs to be laid on the importance of parental teaching and empowering programme. Conforming assessment of knowledge, practice is best done by using a validated questionnaire.

There are many ways in which child could have learned to deliver temper tantrums. Firstly it could be emulation or he might have observed someone showing the same behavior. Secondly, it could be possible he might have seen or observed such behavior in the environment he lives or is associated with, like the home, school or any other places.

Positive reinforcement can be defined as the probability that a particular behavior can or will take place in the future by removing or giving stimulus of the behavior at regular basis. Reinforcement is mainly of four types-Positive, negative, punishment and extinction. Positive reinforcement can be used to encourage positive and benignant behavior behaviors. For example give rewards to your children on their accomplishments, focus and highlight more on positives than negatives of your child, show them love in every way a guardian can by hugging or kissing the. Similarly in this case, positive reinforcement can be used to prevent misbehavior by complimenting the child on the action they perform and just by giving them a positive stimulus about what they do by improving their habits and making them realize their mistakes in a more positive way. Positive Reinforcement is further of two types that are verbal and physical reinforcement. In verbal reinforcement parents can generally communicate with their kids and use their voice to tell their toddlers what is wrong and what is right and also to make them realize that they are proud of the thing that they perform right. On the other hand, physical reinforcement includes physical postures like hugging and kissing their kids. Moreover, positive reinforcement would encourage youngsters to avoid temper tantrums by giving them opportunity to communicate and express themselves more freely. (Miller, n.d., pars.2, 6)

Most common reasons of temper tantrums faced by the kids are anxiety, anger and frustration issues which can be influenced by the environment, schedules they follow and their parents follow which represents how much priority their toddlers have in their lifestyle. Hunger, tiredness and loneliness can also be some other reasons for temper tantrums. A schedule basically explains the situations or cases of behavior that can be reinforced whereas some behaviors cannot be reinforced at all. Parents should avoid giving into tantrums because tantrums may arise by the need to get attention for their demand getting fulfilled .So, if parents accept requests due to the tantrums than they will soon develop it as a habit. Instead the child should be told that the parents will communicate with them once they get calmed down. Staying collected can help to lower their heart rate and perceived stress. Generally there are two kinds of reinforcement schedules, both of them are – continuous reinforcement schedules and partial reinforcement schedules which is further divided as fixed interval, variable interval, fixed ratio and variable ratio .If we look at the present case, continuous reinforcement should be implied as it is the quickest method to teach any toddler a particular behavior, in this method a reinforcer(stimulus) is presented to the child immediately after he performed any action like showing tantrums so that he can make association between the behavior and the consequence(treat) which can occur if he behaves good and vice versa. Partial reinforcement is also known as intermittent reinforcement because in this case reinforcer is not given every time a behavior is displayed; these schedules can be fixed or can be variable depending upon the situation. (‘Reinforcement Schedules’, n.d., par.1, 2)

A fixed interim support calendar is when conduct is compensated after a set measure of time. For instance, June pushes a catch when torment gets troublesome, and she gets a portion of prescription. A fixed interim support calendar is when conduct is compensated after a set measure of time. During recuperation, she is relied upon to experience torment and will require doctor prescribed drugs for help with discomfort. For instance, June experiences significant medical procedure in an emergency clinic. (‘Reinforcement Schedules’, n.d., par.3)

Fixed proportions are more qualified to enhance the amount of yield, while a fixed interim, wherein the reward isn’t amount based, can prompt a higher caliber of yield. The nature of what Carla sells doesn’t make a difference since her bonus did not depend on quality; it’s just founded on the quantity of sets sold. She generally attempts to sell individuals more combines of glasses, including remedy shades or a reinforcement pair, so she can expand her bonus. Carla sells glasses at an eyeglass store, and she acquires a commission each time she sells a couple of glasses. She couldn’t care less if the individual actually needs the solution shades, Carla simply needs her reward. (“Reinforcement Schedules”, n.d., par.5)

With a variable interim fortification plan, the individual or creature gets the support dependent on differing measures of time, which are eccentric. State that Manuel is the administrator at a drive-through joint. Now and again somebody from the quality control division goes to Manuel’s café. On the off chance that the eatery is spotless and the administration is quick, everybody on that move procures a $20 reward. Manuel never knows when the quality control individual will appear, so he generally attempts to keep the eatery clean and guarantees that his workers give provide brief help. His profitability with respect to provoke administration and keeping a spotless café are unfaltering in light of the fact that he needs his group to procure the reward. (‘Reinforcement Schedules’, n.d., par.4)

In a variable proportion fortification plan, the quantity of reactions required for a reward shifts. This is the most dominant halfway support plan. A case of the variable proportion fortification calendar is betting… Sara, isn’t a card shark, yet to clear something up she places a quarter into the opening machine, and afterward one more and again. Nothing occurs, two dollars in quarters later, her interest is blurring, and she is going to stop. In any case, at that point, the machine lights up, ringers go off, and Sarah gets 50 quarters back. Sarah returns to embeddings quarters with recharged intrigue, and a couple of moments later she has spent every one of her increases and is $10 in the opening. Presently may be a reasonable time to stop. But then, she continues placing cash into the opening machine since she never knows when the following fortification is coming. She continues believing that with the following quarter she could win $100, or much more. Since the support plan for most sorts of betting has a variable proportion plan, individuals continue attempting and trusting that whenever they will win enormous. This is one reason that betting is so addictive. (‘Reinforcement Schedules’, n.d., par.6)

Extinction mainly leads to the disappearance of a behavior. Basically there are two main causes of extinction that are classical conditioning and operant conditioning. When a conditioned stimulus is given without unconditioned stimulus a specific behavior is likely to disappear, this refers to classical conditioning whereas in operant conditioning no response is reinforced after a discerning stimulus. Sometimes, habituation and personality factors can also influence extinction. In this situation, extinction can be applied by withdrawing all the attention and affection from the children so that they don’t throw the tantrum in the future. It is one of the toughest methods as children like attention the most, at first they might have an extinction outburst (an increase of the undesired behavior) but slowly when they get calmed create an environment of happiness, because the main focus is to reinforce self calming behavior. It is a kind of negative punishment given by the parents as it gives toddlers a view that if they throw tantrum and they don’t get a stimulus which they find rewarding, then it will be more likely that the tantrum behavior will get extinct. But extinction does not mean that the behaviors cannot come back, they can occur back. (Dolittle, n.d., pars.1,2,3)

Generalization is the state between classical and operant conditioning where similar response is generated after the response has been conditioned by conditioned stimulus, in different but similar stimuli. It is one of the important theories of learning. It can be a bit confusing and complicated for example if we talk about school bell, that indicates that the students have to leave the school similarly the school bell rings to indicate reading time in which students are supposed to read, so they might get confused how to respond in such a circumstance. Also, it helps to transfer the skills from one activity to another similar activity. In the given situation a proper training of children can be done by parents by generalization of skills that involves positive attention and the continuous use of behavioral management. It explains that the harder the assessment methods are, the less positive results will are obtained. If parents want widespread and consistent change in their children than the generalization needs to be properly schemed. Another term, Stimulus discrimination helps to distinguish the toddler or the animal between the two similar stimuli which helps to generate appropriate response according to the specific stimulus. (Cherry,October 9, 2019, pars.3,5)

In the conclusion, I would recommend any of the above methods in order to tackle temper tantrums of the toddlers faced by the parents. But positive reinforcement is one of the best ways to deal with the children as the children don’t have the knowledge about what is right or wrong so they need to be dealt in a more precise and overwhelming way while the rest depends upon the circumstances and nature of the parents and the children. According to psychology the above methods are proven to be effective.

References

1. ‘Reinforcement Schedules’. (n.d.). Retrieved from lumen learning. https://courses.lumenlearning.com/wmopen-psychology/chapter/reading-reinforcement-schedules/
2. Dolittle, T. (n.d.). https://www.comeunity.com/parenting/extinction.html
3. Miller, S. (N.D). What is positive reinforcement- What are different types of positive reinforcement. https://examinedexistence.com/positive-reinforcement/
4. Cherry, K. (2019, October 9). how the sdtimulus generalization process is conditioned https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-stimulus-generalization-2795885

Every parent has the right to be concerned with their child’s or teen’s health when the doctor tells them that their child or teen is at an unhealthy weight, but where do we draw the line between concern and abuse? America has one of the highest childhood obesity rates and no one wants their child to become a part of that percentage. But putting your child or teen into uncomfortable restriction of food, and even going as far as not letting them eat a certain number of calories and foods, is abusive in many ways. Parents shouldn’t force their children into diets because of the psychological trauma, the chance of the diet backfiring, and the diet leading to an eating disorder like anorexia or bulimia.

97.6% of adults below the age of 55 have Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD). Most of these adults, who are over the age of 20, most likely grew up in the 1900’s–an era where women were expected by the media and society to have more svelte figures. However, their parents are from the 1800’s, where being chubby was an absolute no-no. Vintage ads, such as the Chubbettes, were all over the place. On the windows of small shops around the corner, to television ads at home. Children who were exposed to these ads grew up believing that no one wants a chubby person, and that belief carries on into teenage years, adolescence, and adulthood where it perpetuates.

Every teen has a rebellious phase, in fact, it’s human nature to feel the need to go against everything an adult tells you. The case is the same for teens who are forced into diets. They feel the need to prove that they don’t need the diet and eat even more. As a result, they get even bigger than before and instead of being a good parent and helping your child with their weight issues, you’ve made it even worse than before. And the child starts to feel guilty for all of it.

1% of females have eating disorders. 10% of people with eating disorders are male. Most people with eating disorders are between 12-20 years of age. These are statistics that should not exist. Too many young adolescents are buying into the idea that eating less is going to make them more beautiful, and that’s scary. They believe that they are ugly until their bones are pressing against their skin. Parents force their kids into a diet not even knowing the insecurities their kid is dealing with internally. And the teens who are close to becoming full grown adults are just another generation of adults who have surrendered to society’s flaws in acceptance.The concern for the parent faces is understandable. You want your child to not have to feel out of breath when they do a simple task. The risk of diseases branching from unhealthy levels of weight is also enduring, but that shouldn’t keep you blind from the unhappiness that is evident in your child. There are other, harmless, solutions out there that your child could benefit from and stay healthy both mentally and physically.

No one should ever believe that their child looking like a supermodel is more important than being your child’s role model. I’ve been in the situation where my mom said that I was at an unhealthy weight. I’ve had friends who’ve admitted that their parents don’t make them feel confident in their own skin. Telling us we needed a diet didn’t fix the problem, it made it worse. Parents need to ditch the idea that diets are good for kids and start surrounding them with body positive inspiration or talking them through the process of getting healthy.

Introduction

Parent L, one of the male parents that I interviewed. Parent L had graduated from the University of Taiwan. He is about forty years old. He works as an associate director and his work is about managing Civil, Structural, and architectural work. He likes to travel but most of his time is spent on his family and working.

There are four members including him in his family. He and his wife both have working to support the family economy. All of the family members are Chinese as well as Buddhism but they rarely go to the temple except Chinese New Year. He and his wife both are Malaysian but now settled down in Singapore. He has a five-year-old daughter and now attends P.S. Preschool. He uses both Chinese and English language to communicate with his child.

Interview with Parent

1. What do you think is the most important purpose of early childhood education for your child?

Parent L said that early childhood education is a good stage that is able to let his child to prepare for further learning. He said that it is a good chance for his child to start to adapt classroom environment before going to primary school. He thinks that the sooner his child starts school, the easier it will be to adapt. So, he let his child start to go to a child care center at the age of one and a half and started to go to TASKA at the age of three.

2. What do you think about the need of your child?

Parent L thinks that the need of his child is quality and enrichment curriculum through exploration. He would like to let his child gain new knowledge as well as advance physical development through self-explore. So, Parent L does encourage his child goes to a field trip that organizes by the preschool. Besides, he also will bring his child to engage in nature during holidays. For example, zoos, aquariums, botanical gardens, and so on.

3. How would you rate and describe the preschool center? Good or bad? If bad, what and how to improve?

Parent L said that in his opinion, he thinks that the preschool center is good. He thinks that the good range is in the good hygiene standard and classroom environment. Parent L said that the best is the environment of the classroom. One of the considerations for choosing this preschool is because the lighting of the classroom is bright enough and there is no use for television in teaching. This is due to Parent L thinking that the eyes of the child are still immature, and television is not suitable for long-term viewing. Due to this reason, Parent L also has strictly limited his child the time spent on the smartphone.

Parent L also said that the environment of the preschool is safe for his child to explore. Parent L give me an example that the corner of the tables is covered with the soft corner protector. So, he thinks that the preschool had put the consideration of children’s safety during the design of the preschool setting. Apart from that, the hygiene of the classroom is good and he feels comfortable in the environment.

4. What do you think the early childhood program is more suitable for your child?

Parent L said that both the play-based and traditional learning methods are suitable for his child. This is because the play-based learning methods able to stimulate the right brain and develop motor skills, at the same time traditional learning methods prepare the child for classroom-style teaching. P.S. Preschool is learning through traditional methods. For play-based learning, Parent L had let his child join some extra classes which are Suchida and piano lessons.

5. What is your expectation of your child?

Parent L said that the expectation towards his child at this age is to develop good classroom learning habits with teachers and good social and communication skills with her peers. For example, greeting when meeting her teachers. An example of communication skills is having good behavior in a group such as not easily showing frustration to her peers and learning to accept the ideas of her peers.

6. How does the preschool teacher communicate with you?

Parent L said that the preschool had used an online app to have communication check-in and check-out. This app is used to update some announcements for parents and parents able to look for the portfolio of their child. So, Parent L said that it was good for him to check in and check out the progress of his child. The portfolio is updating depends on the activities that are done by teachers. For example, the drawing of the child has been updated on the app after the class. Parent L feels free to save the picture of the child as well as knowing what the things that the child had learned in school.

7. What do you think teachers and parents how to collaborate?

Parent L thinks that the way for teachers and parents to collaborate is through support and joining school activities. So, Parent L will take leave when the preschool invites him to join the activities. For example, Parents Day, field trips, and so on.

8. How do you think about the relationship between you and the preschool teacher?

Parent L thinks that the relationship between him and his teachers is good as the teachers will keep updated him on the child’s development and needs.

Analysis of the feedback obtained

Through the conversation with Parent L, I found that Parent L emphasizes his child in holistic development. He had researched the different developments of early childhood, so clearly knows the importance of early childhood education. He is clear that what development he wants his child to obtain. For example, physical exploration, mind, and spirit in extra classes as well as social and emotional development in communication (“Holistic Development,” n.d.).

Apart from that, I found that Parent L emphasized his child’s learning progress. He will check the progress of his child daily through the online app and also participate in Parents Day. There is two-way communication happened between he and the teachers as teachers will contact him about the child’s development and he will be giving respond to it (“What is Two-way Communication? | Importance of Two-way Communication,” n.d.).

Other than that, I also discover that the Parent L is also emphasized on the environment that surrounding his child. This is because he will aware of the classroom lightning and also avoid any electronic equipment such as television and smartphone. Besides that, he does encourage his child to engage in natural. Through the conversation, I know that Parent L will let his daughter and his son play together in the park downstairs in the apartment they live in.

In addition, I also discover that Parent L is emphasize multiple intelligences. He attaches the importance of further learning and also lets his child join in different extra classes. He is more emphasis on the knowledge of Mathematics and he had bought extra practice for his child. This is because he wants to develop the logical thinking of his child. Except for the Suchida and piano lessons, he also will let his child choose other extra classes based on their interest. For example, ballet.

Last but not least, I found that Parent L is emphasize the behavior of his child. He strictly requests his child to greet every elder outside and also greets teachers in school. He also lets his child learn to control her emotion to avoid unnecessary disputes and learn to collaborate no matter is with peers or elders. Parent L will explain the reason and analysis the situation why cannot lose temper to his child when his child is starting to show anger softly and comfort her emotion.

Considerations during Communication

First and foremost, the consideration when interviewing the parent is the language that needs to use in communication. The language that I communicate with my parents is Chinese as the Chinese language is our mother tongue and it is more comfortable for us. Mother tongue also makes us easier to express our thought (“Importance of Language in Communication,” n.d.).

Next, the consideration when interviewing is body language. The parent is not showing any discomfort but he answers my all questions patiently. Through observing his body language, I notice that he did not fold his arms in front of his body and not turned away from his body during the conversation. We have face-to-face communication and he did not scratch his head when I asked him some questions (“Body Language: Picking Up and Understanding Nonverbal Signals,” n.d.). The parent is paying attention by listening to my questions and thinking for a few seconds then answering me.

Besides that, the consideration when interviewing is eye contact. During communication, having eye contact can mean that we are paying respect to each other. We are not looking at the smartphone or looking away during the conversation. Through eye contact, I was able to see that the parent is sending his message to me and also telling me that he is listening to me when I was asking questions (“Why Eye Contact is Important in Communication,” 2019).

Last but not least, the consideration when interviewing is to be an active listener. To know more information, I must respect the parent and show that I am listening to him. During the conversation, I had giving the responses to the parent. For example, nodding my head when he is answering. After he finishes speaking, then I just go to the next question or go to the depth of the question (“Effective Communication with Parents: for Professionals,” 2018).

Should teen curfew exist? No, curfews for teenagers should not exist because they make it difficult for teens varying on parenting, employment, and social life. Having a curfew does not keep teens safe and out of trouble. Not having a curfew establishes responsibility. It gives freedom to go out, but you are still accountable to tell your parents the truth about where you are at and what you are doing. Parents choose their children’s curfew based on the child and their life.

Parents who enforce a curfew might be setting their teenagers up for failure. “Nick Navarro, former sheriff of Broward County, Florida, says that curfews could increase crime rather than decrease it because enforcing them could cause rebellion (29)”. This being said parents who give teen curfews may cause their teenagers to act out behind their backs. Parenting by no means is an easy job, but having trust in your child to make the right choices is part of it. Parents could use a tactic to trust their child until they give them a reason not to and only then should there be a curfew.

Teenagers who are employed in Georgia and many other states have to worry about a state curfew. Teens who have to abide by the 10 p.m. curfew can not work their jobs late in the evening. “A bill that would prohibit 16-year-olds from driving after 10 p.m., which has raised fears of staffing hardships or even forced early closings (Hayes 3).” This law forces teens to break their curfew and have a chance of getting into trouble with the police. Teenagers that need money to pay bills, or help their families should not have to worry about breaking a state curfew when all they are doing is coming home from their late night shift.

Teenagers also need a social life and the freedom to go out and figure themselves out. “Children are assumed to be acting anti-socially just because they’re under 16 and therefore there’s no real presumption of innocence. The police have ample powers to deal with anti-social behavior (Gask 9)”. Gask describes teens to be bad news because of their age, but in reality, if given the freedom to not have a curfew they would not be sneaking out and lying to their parents. Curfews are useless unless needed for special circumstances such as juvenile delinquents or grounded teens. Presumably, teenagers who do not have curfews get in less trouble than those that do.

Yes, some might say having a curfew is beneficial. “Curfews also protect teenagers. “I think teen curfews could be useful for teenagers whose parents do not care as much as those of others, because at least they will have a guideline for safety (Tashman 8)”. Many people believe this, but how are teenagers supposed to become responsible without being able to make decisions for themselves? Teenagers are not going to listen to their parents if they have a curfew. They might have the idea to sneak out and get in more trouble than just simply asking their parents to go somewhere without a curfew. Curfews do not keep teenagers safe and out of trouble. They bombard teens’ lives.

Work Cited

1. Hayes, Jack. “Ga. Curfew Bill Could Spell Staffing Woes for Employers of Teenagers.” Nation’s Restaurant News, vol. 35, no. 8, Feb. 2001, p. 4. EBSCOhost, search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&AuthType=ip,shib&db=fth&AN=4120294&site=eds-live&scope=site.
2. Wilks, Andrew. “Night-Time Curfews Breach Teenager’s Rights, Say Lawyers.” Mail on Sunday, 19 Sept. 2004, p. 47. EBSCOhost, search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&AuthType=ip,shib&db=n5h&AN=14452859&site=eds-live&scope=site.
3. “Should Teenagers Have Curfews?” Junior Scholastic, vol. 100, no. 13, Feb. 1998, p. 14. EBSCOhost, search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&AuthType=ip,shib&db=edo&AN=303718&site=eds-live&scope=site.

I am alone on the beach hearing the waves splash against the shore. As a hunted deer that cannot flee, I turn upon my thoughts, feeling hurt. Here I am staring at the sky as blue as the Caribbean water, sighing deeply as I think, it’s such an unfair world. Some people are born knowing who they really are, while others spend their whole life searching, and trying to figure out their true identity. I recall what had happened in the past few hours.

It was a day like any other. I had come home from my work, tired, and decided to take a nap. The day was going well until I woke up due to the buzzing of my phone under my pillow. Half-sleeping, I looked at my phone screen and saw a ton of messages and missed calls from my dad. I called him and asked about the emergency. He told me to bring some important documents from the study room. Reluctantly, I got out of bed and made my way to the study room. I scanned the documents that Dad had asked for. When I was looking through the drawers, my eyes were cast over a document that said: “Confidential”.

Curiosity got the better of me and I decided to take a little glimpse. I took the papers in my hand and read through them. A shocked expression spread across my face. I couldn’t believe what I was reading. The truth was like a bad taste on my tongue. All kinds of different questions were popping up in my head. Did they lie to me this whole time? Is this really true? No, that couldn’t be possible! I needed to be sure of what these papers meant.

I could already feel a rollercoaster of emotions and quickly rushed down to the kitchen, where Mom was cooking my favorite meal. I pointed towards the papers in my hand. I felt a huge lump in my throat, but managed to ask her, “Is it true? What do these papers mean? Did you lie to me?” She looked at me like I was speaking in some strange alien language. Then she looked at the papers in my hand, and a wave of guilt and sadness spread across her face. She did not answer. The silence was suffocating me and my heart was feeling as if my blood had become tar and it struggled to keep a steady beat. I asked her again, she slowly nodded her head, and said, “It’s true”. After hearing those words, my heart sank and my eyes swelled with a sea of tears.

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. The day had started like the sweet melody of a nightingale, but now it had turned into a cold and bitter cup of coffee waiting to be spilled. Then I asked her, “Where are they?” As soon as I asked her, she looked away. I could already anticipate what that meant. They were not there, and she also didn’t know where they are. She said, “Me and your dad, always wanted a child, but unfortunately, we couldn’t. So, we decided to…” she sighed. I knew what was coming next. She continued, “So we decided to adopt a child.” Her words felt like a razor-sharp knife piercing through my body, the sharp point digging deeper and deeper. I thought they were my real parents, I could never even imagine that I was adopted. This was a torment I was unprepared for. Tears streamed down my cheeks falling on the porcelain kitchen floor like raindrops.

At this point, anger started to build up like hot lava. I gathered the power to speak, trying to control the simmering rage and frustration inside me, and asked her, “Why was I left at the orphanage?” With a dejected expression on her face, she replied “You were left there when you were only a few months old. There was no identity of who you were or your real parents. But the orphanage said that your parents had left you there because they didn’t have enough money to take care of you”. Her words trailed off at the last sentence. I just stood there not being able to move. Every word was like a punch in the stomach.

I was in complete shock and could not process all the information. I went to my room, feeling my heart break like a glass, spreading its pieces throughout my body. The conversation I just had was replaying like an echo inside my head, haunting and taunting me. My sea of grief was as deep as the ocean and the waves of sadness had engulfed me completely.

The pain was like a red hot coal placed on my chest, it throbbed and tortured me mentally and emotionally and there was no relief to be found. I just couldn’t take it anymore. I took my jacket, and ran, salty, cold tears were rolling down my cheeks. I didn’t know where I was going, but I just needed to be alone. Some place where I could just think about my life and clear my mind. I ran towards the beach, and sat on the cold, wet sand, in deep thoughts. At this moment, I am nothing but sadness, every other emotion has disappeared. Where there was joy, laughter, and happiness, now there is an aching hollowness.

The sorrow is growing more profound as I am accompanied by my innermost thoughts. As an adopted child, who was abandoned and left without any identifying information, the questions that will never be answered will cause me the most pain and heartache. The bond that I once had with my adoptive parents that kept my heart beating, feels so thin and weak that even they seem like a terrible weight. But the weird thing about life is that it actually goes on. Even when you are faced with a loss so huge that you have no idea how to live through it, somehow the world keeps turning and the clock keeps ticking.