Category: Parent-child Relationship

Tennessee Williams’ play The Glass Menagerie acts as a memory that shows a dysfunctional family that has a hard time dealing with life’s pressures. The father and husband, Mr. Wingfield, abandoned his wife Amanda and both children Laura and Tom. This impacted them and created a deep fear in them. Children need both of their parents love and affection in order to become stable individuals. Growing up with only one parent can affect then negatively and can put the child under a lot of pressure. Not all children have the luxury to grow up with both loving parents. Some are born into dysfunctional families or their families can turn dysfunctional. The absence of Mr. Wingfield is the reason for the dysfunction of the Wingfield household. It caused financial problems, Amanda’s controlling behavior over Laura and Tom developing his father’s behavior.

The Wingfield family started to struggle financially after Mr. Wingfield abandoned them. Amanda send Laura to business school to help their financial situation but she dropped out due to her shyness. Now Amanda started to wonder what would become of the family. For instance, “what are we going to do, what is going to become of us, what is our future?” (line 34). The family has been struggling and Laura going into business school would help them with their financial problem. She would become something and earn her own income for the family but because she was too shy to attend school, she didn’t accomplish to help her family. Tom’s low income did not help the family either, so Laura had to sell magazine but it wasn’t enough for the Wingfield family. Amanda knew that if they didn’t do something about their financial problems, their future would suffer. Mr. Wingfield leaving was the cause for the family’s financial struggles because when he left he also took the income that was helping the family. They were comfortable but then they were left with nothing.

After Mr. Wingfield left the family, Amanda, his wife, became really controlling of Laura’s life. Amanda send her daughter to business school to get a career but it didn’t work out. Laura ended up leaving school because she was too nervous to cope with the typing course she was taking there. However, she has been lying to her mother saying that she was attending the class. Amanda found out only because she wanted to know how her daughter was doing in the class. She visited the school to ask how she was doing and found out that Laura had dropped out weeks earlier. Laura teacher described her as being a very shy girl. Now Amanda had other plans for her. “After the fiasco at Rubicam’s Business college, the idea of getting a gentleman caller for Laura began to play a more important part in Mother’s calculations. It became an obsession” (Scene 3 line 1). Because Laura was a very shy person, she stopped showing up at school. She also proved to her mother that she is unlikely to ever make her own living due to her not having a skill or talent. Amanda, her mother, knew that she needed to find a “gentleman caller” to become a perfect husband for Laura. She did this because to her it was the only other chance that Laura would make money for the family. Amanda had to find Laura a husband and help the family become financially stable. To Amanda, Laura was the only way out from their financial struggles. Amanda started to control Laura’s life after Mr. Wingfield left because he left them with no money and Amanda saw Laura as a solution. Also, she compares herself to Laura to emphasise her glamour of her own youth and hoping that she follows her steps. However, one of Laura big challenges of her shyness. Due to her shyness she doesn’t feel comfortable meeting people who she doesn’t know. It gives her a lot of anxiety but her mother’s insistence. This just created a very controlling behavior. She cannot Amanda became obsessed with controlling Laura’s love life but she did it for the sake of the family’s financial future.

Tom started to show some alarming behavior that Mr. Wingfield had shown before he left his family and his mother started to take notice. For instance, “More and more you remind me of your father! He was out all hours without explanation!” (Scene 3 line 35). Mr.Wingfield was out most of the time and gave no explanation to his family. Mr. Wingfield gave up his job with a telephone company and left his household for failing in love with distance. Now Tom has started to develop the same behavior as his father before he left. Amanda started to take notice how Tom would do the same thing his father did. This created a fear in Amanda. She feared that Tom would also leave them just like his father. Now they would struggle even more. The family would not have Tom’s income so they would struggle even more financially. Although, Amanda would also put a lot of pressure and responsibility on Tom. Amanda was over controlling and seem to want everything perfect. Of course, Tom would become very frustrated with Amanda telling him what he can and cannot do. Amanda would always compare Tom with his father Mr. Wingfield. Tom felt trapped knowing the fact that he was destined to follow his father steps with the way his mother Amanda would be towards him. Mr. Wingfield created a dysfunctional family when he left and now Tom would follow his same footsteps and leave his family. Soon after he started acting like his father, Tom decided to leave his family. This is shown when Tom says: “Blow out your candles, Laura – and so good-bye” (Scene 7 line 762). Tom is asking his sister to forgive him and to forget him. He wants Laura to forgive him for setting her up with a gentleman caller named Jim O’Connor who already had a fiance. Laura had open up to him having romantic feelings just so she can find out that he has a significant other. He needs Laura to forgive him so he can live at peace. However, Tom feels bad for leaving his sister, especially after everything he caused and since what was taken notice of the obsessive behavior of his mother. He finally decides to leave his mother and sister just like his father did. Tom’s only way out from his dysfunctional family is to leave. His mother has always feared that Tom would do the same thing his father did. The Wingfield household would continue to be dysfunctional and struggle financially.

The Wingfield household became a dysfunctional household when Mr. Wingfield left his family. When he left, it created many financial problems for the family. Amanda, his wife, tried so hard to work out their financial problems but never figured it out. She started to control her daughters life. First she sent her to business school, but it didn’t work out so she tried to find her a “Gentleman caller” to help their financial struggles. Tom later began to develop the same behavior that his father showed before he left his family. Finally Tom decided to leave. Mr. Wingfield created a dysfunctional after he left because his family struggled. They struggled financially and that was the cause of a lot of their problems. Amanda became obsess in controlling Laura’s life because she was the way out from their financial struggles. As well as Tom life for not earning enough income and for reminding Amanda how he’s much similar ti. Mr. Wingfield income was the source of the family’s income so when he left, he left them struggling. Throughout the play, it shows how having only one parent can be difficult to the children. Laura was extremely shy and crippled that it was difficult for her to do anything. Even her mother trying to find her a “gentleman caller” helped. Tom just decided to follow his father’s footstep and leave because that was what his father did.

Works Cited

1. Tennessee, Williams, “The Glass Menagerie”. Literature: Craft and Voice. 2nd ed. Nicholas Delbanco, Alan Cheuse. McGraw-Hill Education, 2012. 14
2. Delbanco, Nicholas, and Alan Cheuse. Literature: Craft and Voice. 2nd ed. Vol. 2. New York: McGraw-Hill, 2012. Print.

In the story ‘Dog’, we follow a kid named William Henry Devereaux and his treatment by his parents, who are both English professors who were ‘academic nomads’. Henry was a nine-year-old boy who wanted a dog for Christmas, but probably wants a dog to substitute the love and care that his parents don’t give him. Richard Russo’s ‘Dog’ is a short story that shows the negative impacts that parents at times have on their children and the unintended results that happen in view of their parenting.

After begging for so much for a dog, Henry’s mother says, “you know a dog is something you earn” (158). In Henry’s eyes, he figured his mother made: “The conditions to be imposed would be numerous and severe, and I would be incapable of fulfilling them, so when I didn’t get the dog, it’d be my own fault” (159). Henry’s father always looked away ‘blissfully unaware’ whenever the topic of a dog came up, and most of the time, spent his time in his office on campus, only joining Henry and his wife during mealtimes. This reflects upon the idea that Henry’s parents don’t pay attention to him and would instead do other things like grade papers. Henry seemed to also see signs “that the underpinnings of my mother’s personality were beginning to corrode in the saltwater of my tidal persistence, and when I judged that she was nigh to complete” (159). This implies that his mother was getting annoyed by the dog talk, just like henrys father.

Henry’s dire need for a dog made him make up a plan. His plan was to interrupt his parents with the same loop of ‘I want a dog’ every day until he gets one. Henrys ‘plan’ is just a way of him getting more attention from his parents since they won’t give him much of it.

Henry is told by his mother that he could have a dog as long as reforms his behavior and stops slamming the door so hard. Henry’s mother is telling him to stop acting like a child when he himself is one. Henry conforms, turning his behavior to that of an adult. Remember not to slam the door, but even he forgot sometimes and accidentally slammed it, but apologizing as soon as it happened. After all that, the day comes when he receives his dog. Henry’s father comes in the house, and ‘surprises’ Henry with a brand-new dog, which isn’t so brand new. It was long-legged and depressed with long legs. It looked like it wouldn’t want to do anything. The pooch was an old, boney, scarcely wandering Irish Setter, who was “the kind of dog you’d get if you really didn’t want a dog or to be bothered with a dog” (161). And ‘wonderfully mannered and meticulously groomed’, Henry was betrayed or was feeling guilty as if he saw himself as the dog.

After all, this mess ends. The dad seems not to care much, rejecting his son’s offer of help and shaking his head in disbelief for the dead dog. When Henry entered his junior in high school, his parents filed for divorce, “they agreed on little except that I was an impossible child” (157). Henry’s father went on to be called even more famous but leaving his son “in his ruined cordovan loafers” (162).

References

1. Russo, Richard. ‘Dog’. 1996. Back to the Lake. Ed. Thomas Cooley. 3rd ed. New Yorke Norton, 2015. 157-62. Print.

‘The Curious Incident of The Dog in The Night-Time’ is a novel about the Boone family. The novel is written by an award-winning novelist named Mark Haddon who is most known for this same book, winning various awards for it. The story of the novel is narrated by the main character ‘Christopher Boone’ his full name being ‘Christopher John Francis Boone’. Christopher uses prime numbers for his chapters and being a mathematical genius, this comforts him. Christopher suffers from Asperger’s Syndrome and lives with his Father Ed Boone, who is the owner of a heating maintenance and boiler repair business. Christopher only a child has lived without his mother Judy being told by his father that his mother had passed from a heart attack in hospital. Finding out something he’ll never forgive. Having Asperger’s and not being able to understand people and their decisions, Christopher sees his whole life turned around and loses even more trust in the people around him when he finds out that his father Ed, had done something terrible. Life is a struggle for Christopher having Asperger’s, though it isn’t any easier for his mother or father and that is only understood as the story goes on.

Christopher grew up for more than half of his life without a Mother, to cope with being around other kids at school Christopher befriends one of his teachers named ‘Siobhan’. While his Father does understand him, Siobhan is the only person who can speak his language. Christopher is simple and sticks to his daily routines, which keep him sane. Having Asperger’s he sees things differently as well as understanding everything else differently.

Christopher believes that the colors he likes and dislikes will determine the kind of day he set out to have, he determined this through the color of cars. His favorite color Red meant seeing Red cars would be a ‘Good or Super Good Day’. Christopher disliked Brown and Yellow, seeing these colored cars is an instant ‘Black Day’ (Very Bad Day). If he is to see none of these colored cars it will more than likely be a ‘Quiet Day’ (Average Day). This system keeps Christopher from freaking out and gives him another routine that he uses to keep his life set. Christopher’s routines and life with his Father are shattered when shocking news is discovered. Early in the novel, the dog owned by Mrs Shears (Wellington) is killed. The mystery behind this disturbs Christopher and he begins to write a journal about the investigation of ‘Wellington’s death. His Father disapproves of this and keeps Christopher’s journal from him, only for Christopher to find it in a shirt box in his Father’s cupboard where he thought his Father had put it in the dustbin, it was at this moment Christopher found ‘The Letters’. Letters proving his Mother is still alive and living in London with Roger Shears, the ex-husband of Mrs Shears. This shatters Christopher’s world and leaves him in an immense amount of discomfort, to find out his Father has lied to him his entire life. When Ed finds Christopher and tries to be honest with Christopher, Ed admits to Christopher that he killed ‘Wellington’. It was at this moment that Christopher’s life and decisions were going to become harder, because he was set out on a journey to find his Mother and live with her so he may feel safe again and things may go back to normal, not realizing the impact this was going to have on his Mother and Father.

Ed Boone is the Father and Carer of Christopher Boonea troubled man, there isn’t too much of a backstory given for Ed though his struggle throughout the novel is displayed in his efforts and the misunderstanding of Christopher over the choices Ed has made. Ed was in love with Christopher’s Mother Judy and for a time they were happily together, though her lack of commitment to looking after Christopher affected their relationship heavily. She left him and Christopher behind and since that day it has left Ed angered. After she left with Roger, Eileen (Mrs Shears) began to talk to Ed and come over more. They started something which didn’t end well between the two of them and Ed felt attacked and dismantled as he had already been left with his wife. In what seems like a form of denial of the ending of their relationship he killed ‘Wellington’ claiming in ‘Chapter 167, Page 151’ “I think she cared more about that dog than for me. For us.” As well as dealing with relationships Ed now had to live with the guilt of killing ‘Wellington’ and while he never found it too much of a struggle to look after Christopher, Christopher’s investigation into the murder stressed Ed out and worried him. However once Christopher found the letters, Ed could do nothing but deal with the consequences of his actions.

Judy Boone was only young when she had Christopher, and from the beginning of Christopher’s life, she found it hard to take care of him. Judy wrote a total of 43 letters to Christopher and in many of them explained the times they were together and how sorry she was for not being able to handle being in Christopher’s social life. Though in the book it is noticed by The Narrator (Christopher) that Judy takes ‘Happy Pills’, The Narrator does not go into much detail about the pills, though ‘Happy Pills’ are generally known as medicine to treat depression. Therefore after reading more than half of the novel, it is almost clear of her regret throughout the novel about leaving Christopher with no notice. This is mostly proven in ‘Chapter 157, Pages 131-141’ where she is reminiscing about the times together with Christopher. As well as having to live with her past, it is when Christopher shows up at her door that things become harder. Roger Shears doesn’t agree with Christopher staying with them, though she wants nothing to do with his decisions, and makes the decision to go back to Christophers’ hometown in Swindon. Where she also had to deal with living with Ed again to Christopher.

In Conclusion, Christopher, Ed, and Judy all demonstrate in the novel how challenging life is for all of them individually. Christoper’s Asperger’s Syndrome and disturbance of people make life for Christopher a daily struggle. Ed is a loving Father who only wants what is good for his son, though faces the consequences of the decisions he’s made in life, as well as this he lives with the pain of a failed marriage and relationship. Judy suffers from depression and reminisces the times before she left Christopher regretting every minute after she left, though because Ed decides to lie about her death, she believes Christopher hates her and does nothing but continuously send him letters in the hope he may reply one day. Also, while the reason is unclear, Judy suffers from depression making life no less challenging than before. This novel represents the pure challenges in life between a disabled child and his parents, giving a true utter feeling of what it’s like for both the child and parent in a disabled child’s sight of the world.             

Not every day does a person get lucky enough to come across a tad of literary work that comprises of limited words but leave a lasting effect on the readers. Such texts are successful not only in catching the attention of the readers but also in moving their hearts. These kinds of texts are an outcome of several literary techniques that make these texts stand out and touch the hearts and minds of the people. “Dear Dads: Save Your Sons” beautifully written by Christopher N. Bacorn fits the description of such moving texts. The article is composed of persuasive language with excessive evidence of ethos, emotional and logical appeal to the readers.

The author opens the article by presenting the details of the scenario featuring a miserable lady and her devastated son. He hooks the readers by painting a picture of the misery of the lady and her son through descriptive language. At this point, the readers can vividly foresee the emotional appeal that the author is going to make in the future. The author is clearly successful in setting up the atmosphere of the article through a description of the emotional elements present in the scenario. By explaining the lady to be “…on the edge of tears…” (Bacorn), and the boy to be involved in drinking, declining grades, “…gang membership, and violence…” (Bacorn), the author conceals an emotional appeal to the readers to pay attention to the concern that is being served through the article as it holds crucial importance in today’s society as well.

Moreover, the author builds his credibility by putting logical reasoning forwards while explaining the effects of counseling on teenage boys. He convinces the readers upon the fact that there is no use of professional counseling in driving the teenage boys at changing their behavior’s and company. They do not consider anyone else to be correct but themselves. He also gives an alternative solution to the problem, which is hard to be implemented in society but must be pondered upon once while hunting for the possible solutions. He persuades the readers to believe that fellowship or camaraderie of at least one man is highly important and necessary in the life of boys. His logical appeal is effective enough to drive the readers to think that the presence of a man in the life of a miserable and devastated boy can solve more than half of his problems.

Furthermore, the author also makes use of ethos to relate the subject of the article to the real-life and culture of the readers. By mentioning the diners and pubs where people get drunk, play pool, and party till late at night, the author highlights the curses of today’s culture, where the problem does not lie in the culture but the misuse of it. He also mentions golf courses, bowling alleys, and tennis courts where the fathers are found after abandoning their sons. He makes sure that the readers understand that going to these places is not wrong. But a visit to these places after acts of sheer negligence and desertion of children, fathers are not supposed to act like nothing has happened wrong from their end.

The author builds his credibility and reliability by also shedding light on the positive side of the society where several men are making sure to look after, guide, and educate the homeless boys who are on the verge of mental and physical devastation. Moreover, he also attempts to heal women’s son through the most common sports and activities in today’s culture. The author, at the end of the article, once again makes use of emotional appeal by unveiling his rage and fury towards the fathers who abandon their sons and subject them to seemingly endless suffering. This also evokes aggression amongst readers towards such fathers. He marks an end to the article by asking a rhetorical question that leaves the readers in a mesh of thoughts, searching for the possible solutions to the dilemma.

Dear Dads: Save Your Sons” beautifully written by Christopher N. Bacorn fits the description of such moving texts. The article is composed of persuasive language with excessive evidence of ethos, emotional and logical appeal to the readers.

Through this article, the author has successfully persuaded the readers to ponder upon the dilemma of the society that no one pays attention to. The convincing language of the article and the use of ethos, emotional, and logic serve the purpose of driving the readers at paying attention to this social concern.

Family is a very important aspect of my life. Creating my genogram and also communicating with my family about our family history was very eye-opening for me. The side that I analyzed was my mother’s side of the family. I have three siblings. Their name is Daniel Hamilton who is my brother, Danielle Hamilton who is my sister, and Dana Hamilton who is my sister as well. Some of the physical traits that we have in common are, that my siblings have the same hair texture which is curly and thick. Me and Danielle have similar body shapes. We both are short, have big arms, and a chubby face. These traits that we have are a mixture between my mother and our father. We are all very close as a family and even with me being in college we all make it each other duty to spend time with one another. When it comes to interest and emotional traits that is where we share differences. In other words, I am very outgoing. I like to meet new people and travel. However, my sister Dana is more reserved. I like to think that comes from her being a mother now as she takes care of my Nephew Bryson Durant. My sister Danielle takes after me in our interest of wanting to travel, work out, and go out and meet new people. My brother Daniel is the same way, but he does not like to go too far, because family is very important to him, and he does not want to be away for too long.

Our family is very close, and we make sure that we meet up every Labor Day weekend in Kingsland, GA where I am from because my grandmother believes that you never know when it will be your time to go. Therefore, as a family, we need to ensure we are spending time with each other and keeping in contact with one another. Even with me being in college I make sure that I check in with my family just to make sure that everything is going fine at home. Family is something that I cherish very deeply.

However, just like every family, we all have our issues. We love and care for one another however, throughout writing this paper and doing the genogram I had to dig deep and analyze some of the trauma that is active in our family. This was a learning experience for me because I had a blind spot. In other words, a blind spot is something that you cannot see. So, I asked my mother what were some of the issues that our family deals with, and my mother said “alcoholism, drug addiction, and controlling issues”. These were issues I was not aware of however, with me being in college she would always inform me to be mindful of my alcohol intake. However, when she would say it I thought she was just being an overprotective parent but now I know I have to be mindful because my not being aware can open up a door. Some people in my family have also struggled with being addicted to drugs which is very sad for me. It hurts to know people in your family are dealing with these things, and I have to make positive choices because if I choose to go astray I could hurt myself. Another aspect of things my mom told me that my family struggles with is controlling issues. I like to have control over everything. It is like I naturally want to control things and sometimes it stresses me out when I cannot. With my mom pointing this out this showed me that I cannot have control over everything and me trying to control everything strips God of who he is. My mom also explained to me her mother tried to control her. That was my grandmother’s “love language” and when my mother got into a relationship with my father she tried to do the same thing because that is what she was taught.

However, just like with anything negative there is something positive. There are many things that I do believe my family is strong which are keeping up with family traditions, showing love and support, and we have a very strong and supportive relationship with one another. No matter what event it is or who event it is my family’s mindset is if one wins we all win and that is what keeps me motivated to stay in school, finish college, and no matter what odds are stacked up against me continue to push through and have faith in God. My spiritual beliefs derive from not only what I was taught as a child but what I have experienced from God myself. In other words, my family is Christian. We believe that Jesus died on the pardon of our sins and on the third day, he rose. My family goes to church and has been going since I was a young girl. My family also believes you should always honor your mother and father no matter what because when you honor them God honors you. We were also taught to help anyone in need because you never know when it could be you in their shoes. When it comes to my relationship with God I naturally yearned for that relationship with him because of my family going to church, hearing worship music around the house, and my parents teaching me the word. However, when I got to college my relationship with God was challenged, because I was in a totally different atmosphere. Being on fire for God was not something that people looked at as a “cool thing” so, I struggled with embracing my true identity in him however, I was reminded that Jesus was not ashamed of me when he died for all of the wrongs that I did so I should not be shameful when it comes to him. Now, currently in college I am learning how to seek on my own and not live through him through my family members but understand we all have to answer for our wrongdoings. Another tradition that my family has, more my mother is she is not paying anyone’s phone bill. She has taught me that as a young adult, I must take on certain responsibilities. She also instills in me that if you are doing something do it well. This goes for my siblings as well. If you are in school make good grades. If you are working, work well. Whatever it is that we may be stewarding over we need to make sure we are doing a good job at doing it well without complaining. Another tradition is making sure we spend the holidays with one another. So, everywhere we will spend the holidays at my grandma’s house, or my mother’s house. It is well needed because it continues to draw each of us closer to one another and this grows our love for one another.

Being able to complete my genogram and also answer these questions made me dig in depth about the young woman that I am today and the young woman that I am becoming. In other words, it helps me examine and understand myself better. A lot of times we are unaware of why we do what we do. However, throughout writing this essay I was able to peel back the layers of why I do what I do. why do I react so quickly to small things? and why do I feel the need to be in control of everything? These are the questions that rose in my mind as I was writing my paper. It helped me to learn how to be self-aware and not just allow myself to be mediocre and say “This is just how I am”. The way my family has raised me has molded me to be the young woman that I am today. In other words, being around strong, loving, and supportive individuals has helped me to show that same love to my friends. Not, because I am looking for something in return but because it is a part of who I am. My family also planted a seed for me to keep God at the forefront of my life and stay rooted in him and his word no matter what. Some of the same traits that I have learned in my family I would like to take to my own family are my spirituality, showing love, and spending time with each other for the holidays.

Asking my family questions about our family history and some of the issues that take place in our family was an eye-opener for me, and created a sense of wanting to find myself even more. I feel as if we can get caught up in comfort because we do not want to be uncomfortable however, you must be uncomfortable in order to grow, and I am excited to see myself grow even more and help my family members who may have the same mentality as I do grow even more. This assignment taught me that a lot of our traits, characteristics, and personalities are not solely dependent upon “this is just how I am”. Generational trauma and decisions can affect me how and why. As I grow I want to unpack just that.

In this assignment I will write about a very important topic which is ‘parenting’, I will write the definition of parenting, the principles of parenting, and the key strategies of parenting, I will discuss the lesson I learned from this theme and I will discuss the light of collection of short stories and a poem that deals with the theme parenting, inshaa Allah.

Definition of parenting

Parenthood is a permanent quality in relation to the child. a person whom the child has the right to be reared is called a parent.

Oxford Dictionary attempt to define parenting as a process of taking care of your children from birth to adulthood is also a systematic process of developing children mentally and physically from birth to adulthood through the guidance of their parents toward the truth and good deeds.Al-hashimi(2005).

Principles of Parenting

The proper upbringing is the best gift from the parent to the children.

Here are the five essential principles of parenting:-

• children need responsibilities:- Each and every one of us is responsible for what is under his care, so our children are our responsibility. We have to teach our children good character, we have to teach our children to be independent but also to be dependent, teach our children to be reliable and productive. This will make our children feel that they have a special role in society as well as in the family. Allah says in the Quran “Nay, and by the moon, and by the night when it withdraws, and by the dawn when it brightens, verily, it is but one of the greatest calamities…..”(Quran: chapter 74 verse 22-38).
• Parents are guides and role models:-The parents are the ones to lead their children toward what is good and what is bad because the children are new in this world and they have an innate nature to be good, but they need to be led. The messenger of Allah peace be upon him said,” Every one of you is a guardian and is responsible for his charges…”(Sahih al-Bukhari).
• Kindness and mercy are the essentials of upbringing:-To care for whom you are leading is one of the qualities of a great leader, the messenger of Allah peace be upon him treated everyone with kindness and mercy and he has the quality of taking care of whom he is leading and he was kinder to children.
• Children need boundaries:- To guide our children’s behavior, they need a set of boundaries that help them with the freedom to act and behave within them, because Allah subhanahu wallah has given us boundaries to keep within us. the messenger of Allah peace be upon him said: “Verily Allah the Almighty has laid down afraid (religious obligations), so do not neglect them “.(Hadith Nawawi).
• Children are born pure:-Our children are on alfitra, sinless and pure for a belief in one God. The messenger of Allah peace be upon him said: “No child is born except on fitra (Islamic or primordial human nature) and then his parent makes him Jewish, Christian or Magian”(sahih Muslim).

The key strategies of parenting

It is very important to understand that there is no particular way of parenting that is successful for everyone, parenting can be very challenging.

Following are some key strategies of parenting:-

• Developing pleasure from birth.
• Good nutrition.
• Education of the child.
• Consistency and communication.
• Managing behavior.
• Empowerment and encouragement.
• Parental responsibility.
• Children’s awareness of consequences.
• Children learning of responsibility and respect.
• Setting boundaries.
• Stable home
• Spending time together with your children.

The lesson I learned from this theme is to respect your parents as much as you can, show kindness to them and make them happy as much as you can because pleasing them is like pleasing Allah. Allah says in the Quran “And your lord has decreed that you not worship except him, and to parent, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age (while)with you, say not to them (as much as),” off”, and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word, and lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say,” my lord have mercy upon them as they brought me up (when I was) small”.(17:23_24).

In the light of a collection of short stories and poems that deals with the theme of parenting is that in the story ‘the wooden vowel ‘ the man and his wife corrected their mistake of disrespecting the old man their child which enlightened them. In the story ‘I hate my eye mother’ the son regrets what he did to his mother after she passed away.

Parenting in our present time that some parents neglect their responsibility toward their, for example, the parent will give birth to a child and they will handle him over to a house girl, and the mother will not even breastfeed him very well they just concentrated on their job, they don’t even have their children’s time, why will the children help them when they are old? They will not help them because they neglect them when they are children.

Conclusion

Alhamdulillah I have written about the theme of parenting, from its definition to its principles and the hey strategies of parenting, and I discuss the Islamic lesson I learned from the theme and I discuss the light of a collection of short stories and poem that deals with the theme and I relate the theme to the current time.

References

1. Al-Hashmi A.M,(2005), the ideal Muslim, international Islamic publishing house: Riyadh, Saudi Arabia.
2. Productive Muslim.Retrieved from: https//productive Muslim.com/islamic-parenting/.
3. Islamicity (2014), parenting and child development. Retrieved from https://www.islamicity.org/8603/the-status-of-parent-in-islam/.

Parents play the most important role in your life. They help you mentally, and physically, and are the people who are supposed to be by your side through everything. For everything your parents do for you you should always show your parents that you respect them and appreciate what they do for you. Even when your parents might make unfair decisions or things you don’t agree with you are always your parent’s main priority and at the end of the day any decisions they make benefit you and what is best for you. A parent wouldn’t ever make you do something they know isn’t good for you.

• If you disagree, don’t be rude about it.

Lots of times Parents make a decision that you don’t agree with and a majority of the time it’s hard not to talk back or be disrespectful about what you think about the situation, but before you’re rude about it you should acknowledge their opinion before you disagree with them. Realize they have experienced more than you and whatever choice they are making they have probably learned from experience. Try to hear them out and see if their point is valid before you make a decision on whether or not you want to fight what they’re saying. Before just jumping into the situation and telling them why they’re wrong think of a responsible reason or other option why your idea or statement is correct.

• Consider their point of view

Although you might feel like your parents are being unfair or harsh Your parents ultimately want the best for you so whenever you disagree about something just take a second and consider what they are saying. Try to understand them and most likely it will be easier for them to hear you out when you have something back to say. I’m sure anybody agrees that sometimes at the moment it can be hard to listen to what your parents are saying but you should always just try and listen to them and put yourself in three perspectives. After all, they are older than you and have experienced a lot more in their life than you have so there is a good chance that whatever you fighting them on there’s a reason behind it.

• Make them your priority

Just like you are your parent’s main priority you should always put your parents first as well. Your parents take care of you and always make choices that are best for you. You may not realize how much your parents do for you but in reality, they do a lot more than you actually realize. Try putting in some effort to build a bond with your family by socializing, having family dinners, or having a family movie/game night.

The topic of this paper will be evaluating the effectiveness of skin-to-skin (STS) between the mother and the newborn as a treatment for postpartum depression. The client present in this case study is client X, a 30-year-old woman who is 36 hours postpartum (Refer to Appendix A). Client X’s reason for admission to the hospital was spontaneous vaginal delivery. The client has been previously admitted to the hospital for the birth of her first child. She did not have any pregnancy complications during this pregnancy and gave birth at 39+1 gestation. Client X has a history of anxiety and suffered from postpartum depression after the birth of her first child. Her anxiety and postpartum depression were both treated by counseling. The client does not take any medications. During my postpartum assessment and time with client X, the clinical signs I experienced were that the client stayed in bed much of the time. She was withdrawn when talking with her, she did not talk very much and gave short answers to my questions. Her mood was low, and she did not eat any of the food provided by the hospital. When speaking with her, I learned that her husband purchased food from outside the hospital that she normally likes but she did not want it. When asked about sleeping, the client expressed that they were having trouble sleeping and were very fatigued. As well, when asking my client how they were progressing, I learned the client felt very down and sad but was unsure of the reason why. Postpartum depression not only affects the mother but also the newborn. STS was chosen as the nursing-focused intervention for this client because it could be performed right away, is accessible, and is also beneficial for the newborn.

The first article I have chosen that examines the effect of STS between mothers and newborns on decreasing postpartum depression symptoms is by Bigelow, Power, LacLellan-Peters, Alex, and McDonald (2012). In the study, the team considered how STS would affect the mother’s postpartum depressive symptoms over 3 months postpartum. The methods used to evaluate the subjects were the Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Scale (EPDS) and the Center for Epidemiological Studies Depression Scale (CES-D). According to Bigelow et al.(2012), these scales are self-evaluated, the most common, and used in postpartum studies (pg. 370, 373). On the scales, 0 means a presence of no postpartum depression risks while higher values (13 for EPDS and 16 for CES-D) show the presence of postpartum depression risk (Bigelow et al., 2012). The STS group averaged a score of 4 on the postpartum depression scales in the 1st week of evaluation while the control group averaged a 7 (Bigelow et al., 2012). This result was found to be statistically significant (Bigelow et al., 2012). At the 1-month timeframe, the STS group scored an average of three and the control group scored an average of 5 (Bigelow et al., 2012). This result was found to be moderately significant (Bigelow et al., 2012). From 2 months on, there was no statistical significance recorded between the STS and control groups (Bigelow et al., 2012). Overall, the main finding in this article is that STS was effective in reducing the risk of postpartum depression during the 1st week postpartum.

The strength of the research findings was the use of two postpartum depression risk screening tools. By having two evaluations, the study is reducing its room for error. For example, a client could score high on one evaluation method and low on the other. With these results, one evaluation method would suggest there are at risk for postpartum depression and the other would not. By utilizing two evaluation methods, the study is minimizing that error risk. Thus, if the client scores high on both evaluation methods, the results have been checked by more than one resource. However, the weakness of these research findings is that there was no statistical difference between the STS and control group from 2 months onward. This result suggests that STS may not be effective in reducing the risk of postpartum depression long term.

Secondly, an article by Herizchi, Hosseini, and Ghoreishizadeh (2017) examined the effectiveness of STS in reducing postpartum depression for mothers of premature newborns. The tool used to evaluate postpartum depression risk was EDPS. Postpartum depression risk was evaluated at 10, 20, and 30 days postpartum. On the 10th day, there was no significance between STS and the control as the STS group averaged a 13.3 score and the control a 15.3667 (Herizchi et al., 2017). However, the 20th and 30th days were found to be significant with p-values being 0.001 (Herizchi et al., 2017). On the 20th day, the STS group scored 9.16 and the control 16.56 while on the 30th day, the STS group scored 8.1 and the control 17.30 (Herizchi et al., 2017). Therefore, the main finding from this article is that STS was effective in reducing the risk of postpartum depression in clients after 10 days postpartum who had a presentation of postpartum depression risk.

A strength of the Herizchi et al. article is that their findings demonstrated that STS can remove the risk of postpartum depression. The evaluation method used in this study was EDPS, where a score of 13 or above means the client is at risk for postpartum depression (Herizchi et al., 2017). On the 10th day of evaluation, the STS group had an average of 13.3, meaning they were at risk for postpartum depression (Herizchi et al., 2017). By the 20th day of evaluation, the STS group’s score dropped significantly to 9.16, meaning according to EDPS, they no longer were at risk for postpartum depression (Herizchi et al., 2017). Thus, the STS intervention removed their risk for postpartum depression. However, a weakness in the article is that many of the newborns were in the NICU during the first few days postpartum, and STS time was affected. This may have influenced the results of the 10th-day evaluation. Even though the STS group hit their required hours per day, the stress of the NICU and time constraints could have affected the results of the 10th-day evaluation.

The selected research articles suggest that STS is effective at reducing postpartum depression during the 1st month postpartum. The 1st month postpartum is critical for mothers as it involves their transition from pregnancy to the mother role. This information is valuable to nursing care as the intervention can be used with a client who is experiencing postpartum depression symptoms. In the case study presented at the beginning of this paper, the client was expressing symptoms of postpartum depression. In this case, the nurse can perform an informed nursing care intervention in which they suggest the client perform STS with their newborn for prolonged periods throughout the day to help reduce the client’s postpartum depression symptoms. My client was in her 1st week postpartum. As the first article I presented by Bigelow et al. shows, STS significantly reduced postpartum depression symptoms during the 1st week postpartum. Because of this, nurses can suggest STS to the client to help reduce her symptoms.

Furthermore, in the second article presented by Herizchi et al., the subjects presented were already at risk for postpartum depression. This meant they scored an average above 13. During that study, those subjects that were at risk for postpartum depression, upon the intervention of STS, decreased their scores and were no longer classified as at risk for postpartum depression. These results are also beneficial to my case study as it shows that STS can reduce the risk of postpartum depression. In terms of my client, she has a history of postpartum depression with her previous pregnancy. Because of this, her risk of developing postpartum depression was high. Since she is already considered at risk for postpartum depression like the subjects in the Herizchi et al. study, it suggests that STS can reduce her risk as well from the results of Herizchi et al.’s study.

One facilitator that can help implement the use of STS in a practice setting is parental education. Upon admission to the postpartum unit, nurses can provide teaching on postpartum depression and the usefulness of STS in reducing the client’s risk for it. Nurses can perform this teaching along with their other teaching points, such as breastfeeding and perineal care. By teaching parents about postpartum depression symptoms, parents will know what to look for and will be able to recognize signs of postpartum depression development. Also, by teaching parents about the benefits of STS in reducing postpartum depression risk, parents will be able to begin performing STS hours postpartum as a preventative treatment. Also, since they know what symptoms of postpartum depression appear like, they will have some knowledge of how to help reduce it if it presents. The teaching of both parents is important as the mother may not always acknowledge their postpartum depression risk or symptoms. Having their partner understand the risks and symptoms will help them recognize them so it does not get missed. As well, the partner can suggest STS use if the mother is too busy and accidentally overlooks it. Thus, parental education can facilitate the implementation of the informed nursing-focused intervention of STS into practice.

Furthermore, the promotion of STS after routine events can facilitate the implementation of STS into practice. When a nurse goes into the client’s room to take vitals or perform an assessment, the nurse can suggest STS to the mother. Constant reminders like this can happen throughout the client’s postpartum stay. Reminding the client frequently will facilitate more STS because it puts STS on the client’s mind. The postpartum stay in the hospital is overwhelming for the client. They are tired and have many things on their mind. They may lose track of time or even forget about STS. Thus, promoting STS after interaction with the client can improve the use of STS in practice because it reminds the client to perform it.

Some barriers to implementing STS in practice are visitors and people wanting to hold the baby. The birth of a baby is exciting for the parents and their family. When family or friends come to visit, it creates a distraction for the client and their family. Visitors may be with the client for hours throughout the day and many people may come to visit. With the client preoccupied with talking with their visitors as well as caring for the newborn, they might not find the time or even forget about STS. As well, when people come to visit, they may want to hold the baby. This reduces the amount of time the client has to perform STS with their newborn. However, these barriers can be mitigated by encouraging the client to perform STS while in the presence of the visitors. As well, the nurse can educate the visitors on the benefits of STS, suggest they help encourage the client to perform it while they are there and reduce their newborn holding time. Therefore, education can be used to mitigate the barriers of visitors and people wanting to hold the baby.

Coming into this assignment, I was educated about the benefits of STS for the newborn, however, I learned there could be benefits for the mother as well. I learned that STS is easily accessible, it is free, and it does not take much effort to initiate. I learned that STS can greatly reduce the client’s risk for postpartum depression, especially in the 1st week postpartum. These insights I gained will influence my future nursing practice as I now have a new intervention, I can apply in postpartum depression scenarios. I will not only educate my clients on STS for the benefit of the newborn, but I will also educate my clients on the benefit of STS for themselves. As well, I can recognize the barriers to the implementation of STS and use my mitigation techniques and facilitators to work around the barriers. In conclusion, my future nursing role will be adjusted to fit the knowledge I gained about STS to treat postpartum depression symptoms.

References

1. Bigelow, A., Power, M., MacLellan-Peters, J., Alex, M., McDonald, C. (2012). Effect of mother/infant skin-to-skin contact on postpartum depressive symptoms and maternal physiological stress. Journal of Obstetric, Gynecologic, & Neonatal Nursing, 41(3), 369-382.
2. Herizchi, S., Hosseini, M.B., Ghoreishizadeh, M. (2017). The impact of kangaroo-mother care on postpartum depression in mothers of premature infants. International Journal of Women’s Health and Reproduction Sciences, 5(4), 312-317.