Category: Marriage

Marriage is a socially or ceremonially perceived association or legitimate contract among people that sets up a base for the rise of family as a crucial social organization which thus turns into the establishment of a stable society. It is an obvious fact that the concept of marriage in our current highly changing society has changed, first of all in the question of when exactly it should be entered into. In our time, late marriage is no longer a rarity, moreover, it is a widespread phenomenon. Because of loads of reasons, for example, high instruction of ladies or financial weight, more and more people began to marry late. Albeit late marriage is an individual choice, my position is against it, and here is why.

First of all, I do not support late marriage, because I am convinced that the female body is inclined to a more secure pregnancy precisely at a younger age. A parcel of healthcare practitioners support the thought of early marriage. From a physical angle, a lady’s body is slanted to a more secure pregnancy and higher richness. Getting hitched at an early age ensures an improved chance of having an infant. Late marriage sets the natural clock ticking, and ladies in their more seasoned age bracket can be more helpless to complicated pregnancies or indeed miscarriages in a few cases.

Secondly, integration together with an accomplice at a younger age is seamless. After you are more youthful, you’re more versatile and malleable. It’ll come normally to you to adjust to the changes and challenges that a marriage involves. Once you wed youthful, you’re still a work in advance. You’re making progress towards getting to be who you yearn to be. You’re less inflexible and more open to defining sound propensities, designs, and lifestyles that encourage a consistent mixing along with your accomplice. This genial condition contributes to a cheerful marriage and a more grounded bond together with an accomplice. On the opposite, in a late marriage, it is impossible to merely outgrow your profound situated propensities and thought preparation.

And the last argument is that in late marriage people do not have more time to appreciate each other as accomplices. If you with your accomplice get married early, you’ll simply have a lot more time to appreciate each other. No kids, no other obligations to think about, nothing to hold your plans, only you and your extraordinary somebody.

In conclusion, taking into account all of the above, it is better not to marry late.

Islam means to achieve peace – peace with God, peace within oneself, and peace with the creations of God – through wholly submitting oneself to God and accepting His guidance. Believers of Islam are called Muslims. They believe that the Quran was spoken to Muhammad by the angel Fibril, and that it is the word of Allah. They view Muhammad as a messenger. Other beliefs and rules about what Muslims should do come from reports of what Muhammad taught, or hadith.

Challenges and Problems Faced by Muslims in Modern World

Islam today is facing challenges from within and from the wider world. The critical problems are the fundamental tensions within Islam. The attitudes and criticisms common in the outside world can be ignored as misguided or hostile, but the tensions within Islam throughout the world must be confronted. In a simple geographical sense, Islam has to come to grips with its changing centers. A challenge faced my Muslims over the world is “Multiple Marriages”.

Multiple Marriages in Islam

Laws for the ordering of society are absolutely modern and profitable once they healthy human nature and the Creator’s legal guidelines, and bear in mind the widest possible conspectus of human desires in every precise society. Unless they satisfy those situations they can’t be durable; nor can the society they got down to modify. Islam has taken these factors into attention, and made reasonable and solid policies, not for any particular area of the arena, however for all humanity in all durations in each -clime. And so these laws will subsist and be beneficial for guy so long as he exists at the face of the earth.

Christian Views (History)

Christians calumniate Islam as polygamous. The churches are tough placed to it to preserve their footing on this lubricious age, and use contumely towards Islam to reinforce up their very own role, exploiting the general lack of expertise of the reality of Islamic law and the policies about the quantity of wives. In the West they pass in for multiple marriages and change partners by means of their own caprice without any attention to felony conditions. But if they grasped the facts approximately Islam’s law of marriage after which practiced that regulation, they could keep themselves a world of issues.

Before the rise of Islam the tribes went in for limitless polygamy. Indeed it became a standing symbol to have many better halves—the greater better halves, the greater the man. The prophets of God inside the early a long time, and the sacred scriptures of their distinctive religions, screen the identical state of affairs in mankind’s early centuries. In China the Li-Ki regulation gave every guy the proper to have as much as one hundred thirty better halves. In Israel one guy may want to have numerous hundred.

Charlemagne had four hundred and Ardeshir Babekan had approximately the equal. Nor did the Gospel, following the Torah, abrogate or condemn this practice or utter a decree to ban it; in order that up until the second one 1/2 of the eighth century AD and the time of Charlemagne polygamy became -normal in Europe and not condemned by the Church. At that date, or soon after, the Church promulgated a decree throughout Christendom which pressured men with many other halves to divorce them all store one. They may additionally have obeyed; however they were driven to fornication and adultery and prostitution in result.

In the times of lack of expertise the Arabs also practiced polygamy, and very unpleasantly. It was feasible for a person to take as many women as he wanted into his harem; and those unfortunates had no rights at all of any kind, economic or in any other case. A female’s price sank to pitiable depths. All her prison and human rights had been violated.

Islamic View

Islam modified all that. The range of better halves became constrained by using law to a most of four. The social needs of the day made it essential that men have to be prepared to tackle extra than ‘one spouse, if they may find the money for it, considering the fact that in a nomad wilderness society it changed into subsequent to impossible for a girl to make her very own way via existence unaccompanied by means of a person to face between her and the worst buffets of those tough days.

Even this beneficent provision changed into hedged in by Islam with some of conditions, and particularly the basic call for that a man who took more than one spouse should be pretty positive he might treat them all equally, and not desire one above every other in the dispensation of his personal attentions or in his care for their needs.

Note that the regulation allowing four better halves become now not a command that a man ought to have a couple of. On the opposite, if he did confine himself to one wife he devoted no crime. The quantity 4 was a maximum limit. It became often charity and compassion for the widows of his comrades slain in struggle that pressured a person to offer the refuge of his domestic to this type of bereaved woman. Such turned into the case with several of the Prophet’s other halves. Such compassion saved the ladies from a destiny that changed into worse than demise.

If the numbers of nubile women and men had been equal, there would be no need for a man to take on multiple. But men are usually fewer in number within the international’s population than ladies. For this there are numerous causes. First, guys are more prone to infection than girls. -Second, it’s far the men who’re killed in battle. Third, paintings in heavy industry or within the mines regularly cause fatal accidents. And fourth, extra female-toddlers live to tell the tale infancy.

World Statistics

In France statistics show that for each a hundred women a hundred and five boys are born; and yet, out of France’s populace of forty million there -are 1,765,000 extra ladies than men. This is because 5% of the men die for the duration of the primary yr in their existence. Another 5% have died earlier than they may be 25. Male mortality maintains until the final figure mentioned above is that of the entire living populace at someone second.

Furthermore, ladies live longer than men, so that for every 100 widowers in France there are a hundred and fifty widows. In America there are 20 million girls without husbands. Because of this deprivation many fall into unfortunate habits. Professor Peter Mudawar, zoologist at London University, confirms this in his writings.

It is in the nature of woman to preference a home, a husband and youngsters. This wants can most effective be met well in a society which supports sound circle of relatives life. The identical want is germane to the character of man, though he is likewise made to adopt some of exclusive responsibilities besides the primary considered one of fathering a circle of relatives. It is downright unhealthy for a female to should stay on my own. Because of her nature a spinster constantly lives looking out for the man who might be her partner

The spinster is always living in the waiting-room of life. She starts off evolved to quit feed her well. Her herbal care enjoys making ready meals to be shared with others, at the same time as it appears needless to her to go to that entire problem for herself on my own. The spinster wakes to a purposeless day with not anything to stay for and goes to bed with an experience of vacancy and of nothing finished. So the psychologists tell us.

Four Wives

The gentleman defined to the registrar that his three better halves had all proved barren, however all helped on the farm and had been a glad agency, so he did no longer want to divorce them; and it changed into with their full accord that he now wanted to marry a young woman who had taken his fancy in order that he would possibly have youngsters. The young bride, for her component, stated: ‘My husband-to-be is one of the properly men of our village, where there are 1,000 ladies and 400 men, half of whom are children under the age of sixteen: that is one fifth of a person according to woman. So you may see why I am very glad to emerge as a fourth wife.’

A regulation which deprives a person of the right to meet his innate choice to be a father violates his human rights; and a law which forces women to stay in solitary childlessness violates their human rights and undermines society’s establishments. How can these two injustices be cured keep by means of the legalization of a restrained polygamy? Realism; fact; social, crucial, and religious desires demand this type of degree.

If a spouse falls to a chronic disease, what’s a charitable husband to do? He does not want to forge her off in her incurable contamination. Islam makes his manner undeniable before him. If a husband falls to an incurable and continual sickness which makes intercourse with him dangerous for the wife lest she also be inflamed, she may match to the sharia court where the Islamic decide will order her husband to furnish her a divorce, and use the powers which the regulation offers him to put in force his choice even on reluctant husbands. But many ladies themselves refuse to take this manner, announcing that they have got shared their husband’s domestic in pleasure and sorrow, and their sense of right and wrong will no longer permit them to wasteland in his infection a husband with whom they’ve loved the days of his fitness and wellbeing. A painful disease needs a nurse and care and kindness, in order that humanity and precise feel both outline the direction to be followed.

Financial poverty hinders marriage and family-founding. This too prevents some of nubile girls from finding husbands. Why need to individuals who can manage to pay for it not relieves them both of poverty and spinsterhood in an ordered union? Islam’s regulation has conferred this blessing on hundreds of thousands of girls.

In World War II hundreds of thousands of guys died leaving women husbandless. These husbandless ladies in Germany shaped an association which requested the German authorities to permit a person to have a couple of wife. Unfortunately church opposition avoided the preferred result.

More these days carried an editorial asking ‘if the worry of spinsterhood haunted 20-yr-antique ladies, what have to the emotions of the 30- and forty-yr-old spinsters are?’ Eve still looks for her Adam. For Eve, employment, which in Federal Germany is straightforward for all ladies, does now not replace the choice for marriage. Women of 20 -locate it hard to discover a husband: women of 30 and 40 almost not possible: girls of fifty melancholies. Yet in Germany handiest 50% of 30-year-antique ladies and 20% of forty-year-vintage girls are married.

Six million girls of forty and over in Federal Germany are and will continually be husbandless. There aren’t any single guys on this age-variety; and the overall range of single men in Germany isn’t above 350,000; so, even supposing all of them were given married; now not more than one in twenty of the unmarried woman has a hope even of the most unsuitable of husbands. Some emigrate to discover husbands. Nothing however a law permitting restricted polygamy like that of Islam ought to solve the trouble of Germany’s post-battle ladies.

Why does no longer the West, which vaunts its recognize and compassion for women, and bows to the Women’s Liberation motion, not also yield to their choice for family lifestyles and for the achievement of their number one function, the bearing and citing of youngsters? We have to go away the answers to the consciences of our readers. The reality that such a lot of women, in lands where it’s far lawful, favor to marry men who already have a spouse proves that they suppose such a shared life higher than spinsterhood. If a man is ready to adopt the delivered burdens of the obligation for a greater severe circle of relatives, if you want to be for the benefit of such a lot of, why have to the state save you him from doing so?

Laws

The laws governing a man’s simply remedy and same care for each of his better halves lay down:

1. That he ought to provide sufficient for each spouse to have the right meals;
2. That he should pay the equal marital attentions to every; three. That he should satisfy all the heavy duties he has undertaken for every wife and her youngsters.

Conclusion

Islam calls for the man who has a couple of wife to treat his better halves equally and pretty. What is meant by way of that is fairness with regard to spending the night, lodging, spending and apparel.

What is meant via equity in spending the night time is that he ought to divide his time equally among his better halves, so if he spends one or two nights with the primary, he ought to spend the equal quantity of time with every of his wives. And Allah knows Best.

In marriage, the best ones, there comes a day when you wonder about the nature of the marriage, the complexities of its existence, and why you are married first place. I believe my love for space exploration has been a solid one, full of fantasies, enthusiasm, and high-end passion. This home would rather snow inside before I consider changing my views of its infinite dimension and extremities of knowledge.

My marriage to space has is cannot be explained as I have become an enthusiast of space expeditions, especially those based on the infinite possibilities presented through space research. I have grown up watching documentaries about the development of space science since the times of Ptolemy`s geography. To this day, the expeditions continue to unravel itself, like the decoding of a puzzle. Often fascinated me is the lack of ideas about what is out there and what I am missing. The developments in space have been sporadic, filled with both fun and misery.

Over the last year, I have had the opportunity to research the dimensions of space. My research encompassed everything in the universe beyond the top of the earth`s atmosphere. I have, without a doubt, riddled by the marvel presented by how every aspect of space is interconnected. How space is interconnected, I think is only known to the divinities. I have had to think of my position in space, and what significance I have for this void of endless possibilities. Although it is difficult to extrapolate the relationship between Earth and space, the entire marvel to which ground is connected makes me believe in the possibilities of the much greater interconnection of the universe. We only know and understand a fraction of the universe.

From a distant vantage point of view of earth, death may not seem of any particular interest. But for me, it is different. On it, is everyone I love, everyone I know, everyone I ever heard of, and every human being who always was. Earth from space to me is a home where everyone who ever lived out their lives. It is an abstract idea that draws my perception of how to call this place not only a home but also a monastery full of light. The vastness of humans on the planet Earth may be little, but we don’t think small. Our abilities to connect with distant objects, planets, and comets, and understand how they work to elevate our position in the universe.

Earth is a small stage in a vast, cosmic arena, and our abilities to dominate, study and visit parts of this stage point out that we may be small, but we have extraordinary abilities. Every voyage, every expedition, and every discovery has made me believe in human skills. It does not go without noticing how selfish we have been with our strengths, choosing to tear these strengths with our internal divisions that have based on diversity. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals, emperors, and rulers so that in glory and triumph, they can become the momentary masters of a fraction of this small stage of the universe. Although we are programmed with internal differences by nature, I believe that it is easy for us to consider our differences and understand ourselves to project our unified voice in space.

Our arrogance, our delusion of self-importance, and the misconceptions that we have some kind of privilege in the universe should not be a choice to wedge our differences and destroy the same space we claim sovereign heritage. To consider the earth as an unimportant stage in a considerate location, and we only grow our significance by relating our consideration to the inconsiderable. The ground is where we make our stand as a human species, and we have to take heart into the revelations of science to cherish and preserve the only home, earth. I can relate research about space as a humbling and character-building experience that every human must understand to build on how to unify and think of ourselves as a family in the wilderness. Everyone in this wilderness, just like parents in society has the responsibility to mold, care for, and bring our prominence in this tiny stage of the universe.

It is time that we consider our diversity as a strength to explore, learn and project out forte in the universe. I believe the results of our projection on the universe should act as a reference to reconsider our characters and responsibilities of caring for the earth. Just like every marriage, we need to rethink the contribution of even the tiniest of all. Our dance of triumph after a successful expedition of the universe should incorporate a time to settle and reflect on our contribution to preserving humanity and Earth in the vast stage of the universe.

James Pilkington

Question 4: “Literature is where I go to explore the highest and lowest places in human society and in the human spirit, where I hope to find not absolute truth but the truth of the tale, of the imagination, and the heart. – Salman Rushdie.”

Evaluate how a novel you have studied presents a particular perspective about humanity.

Pride and Prejudice, on the surface, presents a scathing perspective of humanity by satirizing and ridiculing the lows of the human spirit. Jane Austen aims humanity’s proclivity to be proud of the superficial such as class, beauty, and wealth, our selfishness and barbaric willingness to harm others for personal gain, and also the desire to conform and have the same values and attitudes as our peers. However, Austen also adds some positives to her perspective of humanity by showing characters overcome their flaws and proclivities thus exploring the highs of the human spirit and giving hope to the reader. She does this through characterization, plot, and irony. Such proclivities are demonstrated by a variety of characters, some demonstrating it to a fuller extent than others. Interestingly, those characters who do rise above their flaws are in the minority. This would indicate that it is rare for individuals to be able to see their flaws and then improve on them but the novel also shows the reward that doing so brings.

Pride in the superficial is distinctly represented by Mr Collins and Lady Catherine, some of the proudest characters in the book but also among those possessing little meaningful reason to be proud, namely good personal qualities. Mr Collins is openly proud of his position and Lady Catherine is undoubtedly proud of her status and wealth. However, both have huge character flaws. Mr Collins values himself much more than the third-person narrator says he should. This characterization is shown when Austen writes, “Mr. Collins is not a sensible man, and the deficiency of nature had been but little assisted by education or society;”. This is not really how anyone would be proud of being described, nor is spending most of his life idolizing and almost worshipping Lady Catherine. An example of his character flaws is shown when he is visiting the Bennetts for the first time, he spends much of his time talking about and praising Lady Catherine second only to talking about himself. His pride also makes him quick to assume that he will be granted a wife from among the Miss Bennetts. Other than maybe his occupation, he has no meaningful attributes to match his ego. Lady Catherine is likewise very meaninglessly proud. Though having been born into a wealthy and influential family, which is not her handiwork, she is represented as very snobbish and haughty. Mr Collins tells Elizabeth, “Lady Catherine will not think the worse of you for being simply dressed. She likes to have the distinction of rank preserved.” Elizabeth also notices that she gives her opinion so decisively that is clear she has never been challenged. Again, this is not a description anyone would be proud of, but Lady Catherine is still remarkably proud of her fortunate birth while not having any qualities to match her ego.

The willingness to harm others for personal gain is demonstrated by George Wickham and Caroline Bingley. Both of those two characters harmed Elizabeth in their quest for wealth. George Bingley quickly left Elizabeth in pursuit of Miss King after Miss King had suddenly inherited her grandfather’s fortune. Mr Wickham and Elizabeth had been starting a courtship but then George Wickham had left without warning; this left Elizabeth deserted and injured her emotional wellbeing. He had paid little attention to Miss King before but as soon as he thought he might benefit he focused only on his needs. This is supported when Austen says “His attentions to Miss King were now the consequence of views solely and hatefully mercenary;”. This selfishness is not a positive perspective on humanity. Miss Caroline Bingley is another example of humanity’s willingness to harm others. She is overly competitive in trying to win Mr. Darcy’s affection and does everything in her power to slander and disgrace Elizabeth so that she can retain her class status and wealth by being by marrying Mr. Darcy. An example of this is when Jane is at Netherfield Park and Elizabeth is there for an evening. She leaves the room and Miss Bingley immediately remarks, “Eliza Bennett … is one of those ladies who seek to recommend themselves to the other sex, by undervaluing their own; and with many men, I dare say, it succeeds. But, in my opinion, it is a paltry device, a very mean art.” This attempt to besmirch Elizabeth’s reputation in front of an eligible man for her gain, ironically exactly what she is doing, is a deliberate attack on Elizabeth. Although Elizabeth does not care about Mr Darcy’s perception of her at this time, Miss Bingley is alarmingly willing to sabotage her reputation to keep open her prospects.

The proclivity to value what others value and to conform is demonstrated by Charlotte Lucas and Jane. Charlotte marries Mr Collins so that she can have a husband and be respectable but she values a respectable marriage because that is what is expected by society. She does not truly believe it, as shown by the dialogue between Elizabeth and Charlotte where Charlotte says “Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance. … it is better to know as little as possible of the defects of the person with whom you are to pass your life”. Elizabeth’s reply indicates that this is not her true inner feeling but a value based on the values of others. Elizabeth says “You know it is not sound, and that you would never act in this way yourself.”. Charlotte does not agree or disagree indicating that it could be true but not something she would want to admit. Despite not entirely agreeing with those values, she acts according to them and marries Mr Collins without knowing him well and then leaving the happiness up to chance. Jane also demonstrates conforming despite not entirely agreeing with society’s values. She is limited by her society’s expectations of women to show affection to Mr Bingley which she then later wishes she did. This is evident early on in the novel when Elizabeth describes her as being guarded in showing her feelings to Mr Bingley so as not to reflect poorly on herself. However, on Mr. Bingley’s side of the relationship, Darcy can convince him that she did not return his affection and that doing so was “no very difficult point”. She undoubtedly would wish to let Mr Bingley know her feelings more easily but she is limited so it is only by coincidence at the intervention of Mr Darcy and Elizabeth’s communication that Mr Bingley and Jane find out about their mutual feelings. This shows that the proclivity to conform is powerful and can lead to unhappy outcomes if it limits one’s ability to get what one wants. This presents humanity negatively because they conform to conformity despite knowing it will not be good for them or others.

Austen also shows that humans can overcome their inner flaws, such as those above, by showing the main couple, Mr Darcy and Elizabeth overcome their flaws. Elizabeth overcomes her prejudice when she sees, through Mr Darcy’s letter that she is prejudiced. When she first realize thiss, she is ashamed of herself, saying, “Of neither Darcy nor Wickham could she think without feeling she had been blind, partial, prejudiced, absurd.”. She overcomes this flaw and later when talking to Mr Darcy about the effect his letter had on him the novel says, “She explained what its effect on her had been, and how gradually all her former prejudices had been removed.” thus showing how Elizabeth started to overcome this prejudice after being aware of the issue. Austen shows that only when humans become aware of their flaws can they start to work on them. Mr Darcy overcomes his pride. At the start of the novel, he is described as “He was the proudest, most disagreeable man in the world,”, and this is demonstrated throughout the novel. Later when talking to Elizabeth, he explains that he was brought up to be proud because he was an only child, then only son, and his family “almost taught me to be selfish and overbearing; to care for none beyond my family circle; to think meanly of all the rest of the world; to wish at least to think meanly of their sense and worth compared with my own.” However, then he says “You taught me a lesson, hard indeed at first, but most advantageous. By you, I was properly humbled.” This shows that despite being brought up with values that became deeply rooted, even from childhood, a human can overcome their flaws. This is a positive perspective on humanity because it shows a fundamental ability to improve one’s self.

Pride and Prejudice presents humanity as deeply flawed and very low “lowest places” even in everyday life. Austen satirizes humanity’s nature, particularly their proclivity to frivolous pride, as demonstrated by Mr. Collins and Lady Catherine, their primitive willingness to hurt others for their gains, such as with Mr. Wickham and Miss Bingley, and their reverence of conformity despite their personal loses. This presents a very disturbing picture of humanity but there is hope. Austen shows that despite, deep-seated flaws, humans can overcome them and improve for the betterment of themselves and society. Austen allows us to explore “the highest and lowest places in human society and the human spirit” through the characterization, plot, and irony she uses. personal voice….. 

Marriage is one of the earliest forms of relationships. From a biblical perspective, Adam and Eve were the first spouses that gave rise to today’s people. However, generations later, many religions came up, each with their interpretation of marriage. This difference resulted in different conduct across religions, prompting a deeper understanding of marriage. To do this, this paper will analyze the major points of change in Protestant and Islamic marriages, explaining why the changes happened and showing the differences between the two.

Protestantism

During the 16th-century reformation era, early Protestant thought adopted the view of marriage as a covenant. Just as God had made a covenant with Israel, so did a man and woman make a covenant between themselves and God. The early reformers rejected the Catholic idea that the sole purpose of marriage was procreation and that they were conducted by the church thus rendering them sacramental. Martin Luther believed that marriage was a normal status for all, including priests (127), and this thought was adopted by later protestant thought. Ideally, marriage was God-given and the spouses, through God’s grace, would continue to love one another until death. As such, both parties were bound to one another in love, which was God-given in the form of grace.

Over the next century, this idea was promoted by the works of William Perkins, who viewed marriage as a government, friendship and economic life. Since marriage was the first relationship given by God when he brought a helper for the first man, Perkins believed that society emerges from this union. Therefore, spouses had an internal duty to one another, borne out of love, as well as an external one to the society (). This duty-based approach to marriage brought a divide in the puritan movement. For instance, Thomas Gataker was of the view that love was the source of duty in a Christian marriage and its source was divine grace (). On the other hand, William Gouge believed that adherence to objectively defined duties by both spouses was a true sign of the presence of divine grace (). With this division in thought, the idea of divorce came in, as some like William Whatley believed that non-performance of these duties could stretch the bond of marriage (). Others like John Milton proposed that where incompatibility was present, then the marriage was not ordained by God, consummated or not. In the end, Perkins’s theory of covenant marriage as both internal and external proved more plausible, as opposed to separating the two components.

Islam

Marriage in Islam was different from covenant marriage above. In the first place, husbands were only obligated to feed their wives. Wives, however, had to cater for their other needs as well as their children’s. Second, divorce was much more common in Islam. The husband could at any time divorce his wife without need for her consent. In the other instance, a wife could claim neglect by the husband and be granted a divorce, taking with her any property that she brought to the marriage. In Islamic law, a husband was required to offer marital support and pay a marriage gift. These were divided into an advance payment before consummation of the marriage, with the balance payable after a set number of years or upon dissolution of the marriage. However, by the 15th century, marriages had a monetary value attached to them as wives demanded to be paid this gift and support in the course of the marriage instead of at the end of the stated years. this brought with it changes in the hierarchical system in marriage, with wives gaining an upper hand, leading to the widespread divorce cases in Islamic communities.

Though the marriage gifts were recorded in the marriage contracts, the real obligations agreed to in informal settings were usually much lower. Marriage contracts were a means of showing social status, thus it was common practice to double the actual amount in the contract. This later brought with it problems when divorce was concerned since judges would go as per the marriage contract. As time progressed, payment of these gifts gradually changed, to include settlements between the living spouse and the heirs after the death of a spouse or agreements between spouses when they anticipated the death of one. An example is one of a tribal Amir from Aswan in 742/1341 who, in his marriage contract, had agreed to pay his wife’s marriage gift through yearly installments, though this did not happen. After his death, the family settled on giving the wife half of his lands and some slaves. In return, she forfeited her claims to the remaining part of her marriage gift. Wives in Islam had a lot of power over their husbands and where they could not agree on the administration of marriage gifts, the results were dire for the husbands.

Protestant and Islamic processes of legal change are quite different as seen above. The main reason is that in Protestantism husband and wife were equal through grace, and divorce was not a factor or was a result of a non-Godly union. In Islam, the husband exercised his control over the wife and children, but with time, wives were able to take this control through the marriage gifts. This shift in control brought on disagreements that resulted in divorce. From the two religions, it is quite clear that a shift in earlier forms of marriage brought with it vast changes that can be felt to date.

Matrimania and singlism is a serious social issue which is facing the world. There are a lot of different points of view on this issue. Matrimania is occupied with the idea of marriage, and singlism is the stereotyping of singles. I have asked myself an important question, how does society think about matrimania and singlism? A lot of people are obsessed with marriage, and they have bad thoughts about singles. My research was based on three different sources that I have studied. My first source was Bella DePaulo who is illustrating the inequality in dealing with married and single people. Also, Rayn Howes and Bella DePaulo are the writers for my second source. They discussed that being happy does not depend on marriage. DePaulo has proved that single life is just as good as or even better than married life. Howes said that being single is more comfortable. In the third source, Alejandra Salazar discussed the loss of identity in marriage. My aim for this research is to illustrate how society can change its unfair opinion of singles and to explain the matrimania in my culture. I want to make people think about matrimania and singlism more seriously and deeply.

Matrimania and Singlism

There are many social issues facing the world. One example is society’s idea of singlism and matrimania. Matrimania can be defined as obsessed overly with the idea of marriage. The definition of singlism is the stereotyping of singles. Bella DePaulo is an academic associate at the University of California. DePaulo believes that society should be fair by not judging single and married people. DePaulo clearly aims to illustrate the inequality between married and single people. My aim is to explain how society can change its unfair opinion of singles.

Marriage can be the most important thing in some people’s opinion. It is not very important to others. In our society, there are a lot of people who are unjustly dealing with singles. Depaulo said, “It is especially disappointing when they were dismissive of the unfairness in the lives of single people.’’ In this world, there are a lot of people who think that singles are untrustworthy because they are not married and do not have children, so they are neglected and not taken seriously. It is absolutely incorrect. Singles are like everybody they are working hard and do a lot in their life. Depaulo thinks that singles are more creative and accomplished in their work than other people. The excessive attention to marriage. Considering it as the most important step in life is the reason behind this treatment. Some people are totally against the idea of women deciding to be single, but they are having no problem if the man wants to be single. Depaulo believes that some people are really having unfair thinking when making judgments about others. They think that man can depend in his self, but a woman needs someone to rely on.

To conclude, Depaulo believes that society should be fair by not judging single and married people. I strongly agree with Depaulo. From my point of view. I can be more successful and happy in my life without marriage. I believe that being single can make me independent. We cannot judge people or their personalities whether they are married or single. In my life, for me or any other person, we have to respect anyone and not make a judgment of whether a person is reliable or not by his marital status. In my opinion, I would like to prefer to stay single because I have a lot of dreams and goals which can take a lot of time to achieve and marriage can control my time absolutely. This source has helped me a lot since it contained a lot of the writer’s thoughts so, and I can understand the topic more correctly. So this source has helped me in my research.

Happiness In Single Life

There are a lot of social issues facing the world. One example is the best choice between marriage and staying single. The definition of marriage is to live a life with another person and to share all the details of your life with him. A single person lives his life solo, without a partner. Rayn Howes is a writer at psychotheraphynet. Bella Depaulo is an academic associate at the University of California. Depaulo believes that being happy does not depend on marriage. Depaulo clearly aims to illustrate that single life is just as good as or even better than married life. My aim is to explain my opinion about married and single life.

Depaulo said, “That Single person are few in a society in which much of social life is organized by couples. Society always deals with them in a bad way. They think about them as bad and criminal people.” Also, Depaluo thinks that matrimania leads to singlism because of the pressure on women to get married, so girls will feel the tension and be tired because of the overthinking in marriage. So that will make them run away from the idea of marriage, they will prefer to be single. Living your life as a single person will make you happy, enjoy your life, and be more successful. Living without a partner who shares with you all the details of your life, and without children will make you live without any restrictions. Thus you will have more time for your work which can be a reason to increase your productivity and success working. You will be full-time to take a break and leave without the need to commit to the husband and children. Depaulo said, “They like deciding who they are going to spend their time with (without it having to be the same person every time) and they like the option of not spending time with anyone at all on a given day.”

To sum up, Depaulo believes that being happy does not depend on marriage. From my point of view, I believe that life without marriage is the best. In my opinion, I can be more successful in my life without a partner or children. In my life, for me or any other person, marriage and having children are big responsibilities on us, so when anyone wants to get married they have to be responsible because it is not something easy. They have to sacrifice their free time and comfort because it will be almost non-existent. This source has helped me in my research because it has a lot of the writer’s thoughts and beliefs about living as a single woman. My research needed thoughts of people who are living as singles to give me some events from real experiences. 3

Life As a Single Woman

In this world marriage is something more complicated than what we expect. Getting married or being single is really a hard decision. There are a lot of people who are very confused about this topic. The definition of marriage is that a man and woman share the same life, decisions, and future plans. Alejandra Salazar is a writer at Refinery29. Salazar believes that living happily does not depend on getting married and having children. Salazar clearly aims to illustrate the loss of identity in marriage. My aim is to explain in my culture why it is better to be single or have a second wife if you are a childless woman.

Marriage can be the first step in a new beginning. In my society, there are a lot of people thinking that marriage and having children is the most important thing in life. In my country people consider women who have no children to be dejected. They believe that life without marriage and children is meaningless. So in their opinion, a childless woman has to be a second wife to continue her life. In my own culture, I think that marriage and having children is not the only way to happiness. Salazar said, “There are many ways to live a happy life, and not all roads lead to marriage and children.” Salazar thinks that if you have a single life you will really live better and do more. Single life is the best. Salazar said, “When people get married they expect that they will live a better life, but when they find themselves in different situations from their expectations, they will be in a real shock. When they found themselves around a lot of responsibilities and obligations and getting less free time, they will be depressed.” There are many married couples who have been depressed after knowing that all their expectations were false imaginations, especially women at a higher risk. Salazar said, “Being a second wife is like destroying your life. The whole world will oppose you, and no rights to you. Because it looks like you stole your husband from his first wife, so you will deal as a thief.”

Finally, Salazar believes that living happily does not depend on marriage or having children. I strongly agree with Salazar. From my point of view, I believe that single life is better. For me or any other person, we shouldn’t look at marriage as something that feeds our emotional needs. It is a very serious thing we cannot deal with it in a careless way. In my opinion, getting married can make you forget about achieving your goals, so it will take all of your life. We have to be very careful when we take any decision about marriage. This source has helped me to understand my topic more deeply because it has a lot of the writer’s ideas and her opinion about being single or getting married. This source has helped me really in my research. She mentioned her personal experience to be single in her society which has a perfect connection to my research question.

Pride and Prejudice has a well-knit, coherent plot where all events and characters are integrated and exemplify the same theme. The Lydia-Wickham episode is one of the subplots of the novel and contributes much to the main plot of the Elizabeth-Darcy courtship and marriage.

Wickham as a Foil to Darcy

Wickham’s first importance is to deepen Elizabeth’s prejudice against Darcy. Darcy appears proud and forbidding when he mortifies Elizabeth by refusing to dance with her for she is not sufficiently beautiful to tempt him. His haughtiness and general demeanor make him unlikeable to Mrs. Bennet, Elizabeth, the whole of Meryton and in fact even to the reader, who all wish to see this proud man from Derbyshire receive a set-down. And Wickham in the early chapters seems to be just the person to do it.

He is precisely what Darcy is not — pleasant and charming and more to Elizabeth’s point he is attentive to her, unlike Darcy who had ignored her. When he first meets Elizabeth. he singles her out and makes her his confidant. Elizabeth enamored by his grace, charm and attentiveness flirts with him and is so taken in by his polished manners that she is ready to believe the slanderous falsehoods that Wickham has to tell about Darcy. Thus, Wickham’s integral in driving the wedge of prejudice deeper in Elizabeth, alienating her further from Darcy. Significantly Darcy’s• supposed villainy towards Wickham is one of, Elizabeth’s reasons for refusing Darcy’s first proposal at Hunsford. Wickham is, therefore, integral to the main plot of the Elizabeth-Darcy affair.

The Elopement

The Lydia-Wickham elopement comes off exactly at the moment when Elizabeth starts cherishing hopes of marriage with Darcy. Just as Wickham had jeopardized any attraction between Elizabeth and Darcy by deepening Elizabeth’s prejudice in the beginning and just as Lydia’s foolish and flirtatious behavior had initially hardened Darcy against the vulgarity of the Bennet family, the two by eloping together jeopardized the chances of Jane and Elizabeth to happy marriages with Bingley and Darcy. But the set¬back is merely temporary though essential in highlighting the true feelings of Elizabeth and Darcy. Elizabeth’s sense of frustration suggests her newly acquired feeling for him. It helps her to realize that Darcy is exactly the man, who, in disposition and talents is most suited to her. Darcy too gets the opportunity to prove to •lizabetii that he has shed his earlier pride and reveals his real and inherent nobility. His love for Elizabeth is deep enough for him to overcome his disgust for Wickham and associate himself with the Bennet family’s disgrace by marrying Elizabeth. His gallantry and nobility are revealed when he even pays off Wickham’s debts, buys him a new commission in the army and forces him to marry Lydia. Thus, the Lydia-Wickham subplot is integral to the main plot of Elizabeth and Darcy and is instrumental in providing the initial conflict. It also finally paves the way for the Elizabeth-Darcy marriage.

A Marriage Based on Passion and Economics

The Lydia-Wickham episode is relevant too in exemplifying the theme of marriage in the novel. Theirs is a marriage based only on passion on the part of Lydia and economic consideration on the part of Wickham. Wickham’s flight is occasioned by his mounting debts and only when Darcy is ready to pay off the debts he marries Lydia. Such a marriage is bound to be unsuccessful and sink into indifference. The Lydia-Wickham marriage based as it is on the wrong considerations of infatuation and economics, highlights, by contrast, the propriety of the Darcy – Elizabeth marriage.

Relevance to the Theme of Parenthood

Lydia is relevant also to the theme of parenthood in the novel. Lydia’s flirtatiousness and her lack of moral sense is a criticism of the inadequacy of her parents. Mrs. Bennet is a woman of mean understanding and Mr. Bennet has cynically withdrawn himself from any moral responsibility towards his family. Their unhappy marriage affects the daughters who are flighty and immature except for Jane and Elizabeth. Mr. Bennet is morally culpable in allowing Lydia to go to Brighton in spite of Elizabeth’s warning regarding Lydia’s exuberant spirits. He is wrong in being willing to buy personal peace at the cost of family honor and the result is Lydia’s elopement with Wickham and the disgrace it brings to the entire family even jeopardizing the marital prospects of the two elder Bennet sisters.

The Theme of Marriage

‘It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife. This opening sentence of Pride and Prejudice could be taken as the theme of each of her six novels. It is a comically ironic statement implying that a single man in possession of good fortune must be the target of all the unmarried women around him who are looking for husbands. The statement also introduces the subject — the theme of the romantic novel, which is courtship and marriage. The events in Pride and Prejudice follow this dictum.

The arrival of Charles Bingley a young man with a fortune at Netherfield Park sends the neighboring Bennet household into a flurry of excitement. Mrs. Bennet with five marriageable daughters has fond hopes of arranging a match between the eligible suitor Charles Bingley and any one of her daughters. After the customary introductory visits, there is the occasion of the ball from which proceeds the Jane-Bingley love story as well as the story of Elizabeth’s prejudice and Darcy’s pride which keeps them apart initially until they come closer gradually and eventually marry at the end.

By the time we have reached the end of the novel, not only the hero and heroine, Darcy and Elizabeth, but most of the young people have succeeded in pairing off in marriage. However, it is from the courtship of the hero and heroine that the story derives much of their tension. Though, marriage is the end of her novel. yet it involves more than the conclusion of a simple love story. There is depth, variety and seriousness in Jane Austen’s treatment of these topics.

Marriage as an Important Social and Economic concern

Marriage was an important social concern in Jane Austen’s time and she was fully aware of the disadvantages of remaining single. In a letter to Fanny Knight, she wrote: ‘Single women have a dreadful propensity for being poor—which is one very strong argument in favor of matrimony.’ Charlotte Lucas when she is giving Elizabeth reasons for accepting Mr. Collins echoes the same view: ‘I am not romantic you know. I never was. I ask only a comfortable home and considering Mr. Couins’ character, connections and situation in life, I am convinced that my chance of happiness with him is as fair, as most people can boast on entering the marriage state.’

Jane Austen, tells us bluntly, _that Charlotte ‘without thinking highly of either men or of matrimony’ had always had marriage as her object because it was the only honorable provision for well-educated, young women of small fortune, and while it may not have provided happiness, it would at least have protected them from want. The only option for an unmarried woman in Jane Austen’s time was to care for someone else’s children as Jane Austen herself did; as there were no outlets for women in the industry, commerce, business or education. The novels of Jane Austen — especially Pride and Prejudice — dramatize the economic inequality of women, showing how women had to marry undesirable mates in order to gain some financial security.

The Importance of Correct Judgement

There are seven marriages in Pride and Prejudice, all of them undoubtedly intended to reveal the requirements of a ‘good’ and ‘bad’ marriage. Three marriages, that of Mr. and Mrs. Bennet, Charlotte and Collins and Lydia and Wickham reveals the ‘bad’ marriage and the importance of good judgment and proper feeling in determining a couple’s future happiness. Mutual respect, the basis of a sound marriage is lacking in Bennet’s marriage. Prudence alone should not dictate, as it does in Charlotte’s case, nor should it be disregarded, which is what Lydia does. Thoughtless passion leads only to disgrace and misery for the families concerned. Esteem, good sense, and mutual affections are the right ingredients for a successful marriage as the Darcy-Elizabeth marriage indicates. Jane Austen firmly believed that to form the right judgment, one must have the right principles and the right perception of the nature of other people. One must be able to see through affectation, deception, and hypocrisy; one must not be a victim of flattery; one must not be carried away by the opinions of other people. The ability to judge correctly is particularly important to- her heroines, for it is upon this ability that their choice of a suitable husband depends. Thus, Elizabeth Bennet who is so certain of her judgment at all times is blinded by prejudice to judge Darcy wrongly, almost losing the man she comes.to love. But once the true facts are known she realizes her mistake. Correct judgment is therefore important in Jane Austen’s world, for if the marriage of true minds is the ultimate good in her world, the coming together of the true minds depends upon their knowledge of themselves and each other.

Good and Bad Marriages

Obviously, even though she recognized the necessity for it, one example of a bad marriage in Jane Austen’s view is a marriage based on economics, such as that contracted by Mr. Collins and Charlotte Lucas. As a result of Charlotte’s need for financial security, she is willing to destroy her own life by linking herself to a pompous ass. Like Elizabeth, we condemn such a marriage based on mere calculation, without love and without compatibility of mind and temperament.

The second kind of ‘bad’ marriage is a marriage based on such superficial qualities as sex, appearance, good looks, and youthful vivacity—the runaway marriage of Lydia and Wickham. The passion between the unprincipled rake Wickham and the flighty. Lydia is bound to cool and in their unhappy married life, mutual toleration is the nearest approach to the affection that can be expected.

A less obvious example of this kind of marriage is that between Mr. and Mrs. Bennet. Undoubtedly they were once attracted to each other very much as Lydia and Wickham were. Even at this late stage, Mrs. Bennet is similar to Lydia in her silliness and shallowness. The Bennet marriage ends in mutual forbearance. Mr. Bennet is in general retreat and isolation, and Mrs. Bennett is a completely disorganized woman. When Mr. Bennet tells Elizabeth: ‘My child, let me not have the grief of seeing you unable to respect your partner in life ‘ — he is in fact referring to what is lacking in his marriage.

The two examples of ‘good’ marriages are, of course, those of Jane and Elizabeth based as it is on mutual love, respect, and knowledge of one another.

Conclusion

Thus, the theme of marriage is exemplified in Pride and Prejudice. Beginning with the arrival of Bingley and Darcy both single men ‘in possession of a good fortune the novel traces the courtship of Jane and Bingley and Elizabeth and Darcy through the various misunderstandings and obstacles, both external and internal before they are happily married in the end. Along the way, the novel also traces the unhappy marriages of Charlotte and Collins based on prudence and economic necessity, Lydia and Wickham based only on passion, and the marriage of the Bennet’s devoid of mutual respect. Thus, it is true that the chief preoccupation of Jane Austen’s heroines is getting married and life is a matrimonial game as women in her times had no other option of business or profession open to them. However, marriage is not treated merely as a romantic end. Rather it is dealt with depth, variety and seriousness to highlight `good’ marriages based on mutual understanding, love, good sense, and respect.

Depression is a widespread and dangerous psychiatric condition, which has a detrimental effect on your feelings, thinking, and behavior. Depression is one of the most misunderstood and mistreated mental disorders in the world. It’s also treatable. In the public, depression is particularly prevalent . One in four individuals had a lifetime of mental disorders including depression, anxiety, and drug abuse. In contrast to physical disease, depression has a higher morbidity and mortality rate. It has an effect on one’s thoughts, feelings, emotions, attitudes, relationships, and working, as well as a negative impact on one’s social status, schooling, and productivity .

Depression is the fourth leading cause of disease burden, but it will overtake heart disease as the second leading cause of injury and death by 2020. Only a small percentage of individuals around the world earned mental health care . Depression occurs if you have five or more of these signs for at least 2 weeks, according to the DSM-5 manual doctors for diagnosing your psychiatric illnesses.

You’re depressed for the majority of the day, especially in the morning.

Nearly every day, you feel exhausted or drained of energy.

Almost every day, you feel useless or guilty.

You have a bleak attitude.

You have trouble concentrating, recalling facts, and making choices.

Almost every day, you can’t relax or sleep too long.

You have no enthusiasm or enjoyment in a variety of things.

You worry about death or suicide a lot (not just a fear of death).

You’re sluggish.

You’ve gained or lose weight.

You’re irritable and impatient.

Loss of enjoyment of life

Eat too much or don’t eat at all if you’re starving

Have aches, pains, headaches

Depression is one of the increasing health issues for women because women in developed countries are especially afraid of depression. In women, depression is double as in men . Depression prevalence among Pakistani women is between 29% and66%, while for men it was between 10% and 33%. Depression is the most important cause of women’s disabilities. In women, depression is the primary cause of disease-related impairment . Marital status, lack of social care, marital discontent, educational levels, and family type are all determinants of depression in Pakistani women . Women’s depression is linked to their secrecy about their mental, social, and physical needs. Female predominance showed depression in treated studies. The sex ratio isn’t due to women’s higher levels of help-seeking behavior; it holds in population prevalence surveys as well. Differential recognition and course of suffering may be part of the cause, as shown by male predominance in drinking and suicide, as well as a potential recent rise in depression in young men. Biological processes that operate on the brain through hormonal effects are possible, but difficult to evaluate. According to epidemiological research, the majority of the excess exists in married women between the ages of 25 and 45 who have infants. This clearly indicates a social correlation and emphasizes young mothers’ vulnerability (Jacquot & Knack, 2009).

” According to Mirza, 2004, relationship and adjustment difficulties with husband and in-laws, number of children and financial difficulties were found to be associated with depression . Moreover, death of a loved one and increasing age of married women are also associated with depression whereas, social, and family support are “considered as buffering agents or protective factors against depression” The identification of all possible determinants can aid in the development of preventive strategies to reduce the prevalence of depression in women . Because of the country’s scarce health services, mental health is often overlooked, increasing the number of people suffering from depression. This research will look at the prevalence of depression and the factors that contribute to it

Here are the statistics about depression in women: In the U.S., about 15 million people have depression per year. Much of them are ladies. Unfortunately, almost two-thirds of those who need assistance do not get it. Women’s depression is very general. Symptoms of depression of women include, Mood swings, irritability, lack of sleep, and grandiose thoughts are all symptoms of an abnormally high mood . Significantly more talking, thoughts the race, an increase in physical activity, including sexual activity, is a good thing. Depression is regularly ranked as the world’s second most incapacitating psychiatric disease (Jacquot & Knack, 2009), because, like the common cold with emotional disorders (Whiffen, 2002), it has a significant economic effect. Women have a higher incidence of major depression in community-based epidemiological and psychiatric trials using self-reporting and informant reports (Jacquot & Knack, 2009)

Bernard (1982) observed that married men were less likely than never married men to exhibit severe signs of psychiatric illness and mental health impairments. Similarly, married women did better than single women. Overall, marriage seemed to be favorable to both women and men. Married women did not do as well as men, according to her observations . Women who were married were more likely to have felt on the verge of a nervous breakdown. More prone to psychological and physical anxiety (nervousness and insomnia, headaches, and heart palpitations); and shown more phobic responses, loneliness, and passivity than married men. Finally, a study of the well-being of never-married men and women revealed that never-married men were more likely to have physical impairments than never-married women (Jacquot & Knack, 2009). They became more depressed and passive, had more paranoia and antisocial behavior, and were more likely to have been on the verge of a nervous breakdown and to have experienced psychiatric anxiety. Marriage appears to be beneficial to both women and men, but it appears to be more beneficial to men .

There is evidence to think that, in addition to stress susceptibility and insecurity, inequalities in social care may account for the elevated rates of depression and illness often seen in single females. For instance, the primary source of assistance to parents is married or a common law partnership (Jacquot & Knack, 2009). The stresses of becoming a single parent are often likely to restrict social interactions with peers and membership in volunteer social organizations. This social isolation will lead to depressed feelings . There is also reason to think, if one parent is present and the mother relationship is secure enough with her parents to allow positive interactions with family members, it will increase the time that she has spent with relatives (instrumental and emotional). Given that there is not the help generally provided by the husband (married couple or common-law partner), the benefit of a single mother would be greater for families and friends. In other words, the absence of a companion will prompt assistance from unknown sources. This increased interaction with family and friends may result in lower depression and anxiety levels .

For single women, the effect of social support on psychological well-being can vary from married women. For example, the lack of a stable social network may cause single mothers more psychological pain than married mothers, who at least have the social and financial support of a husband. This theory is yet to be investigated further in the literature. Part of the disparity in depression between single and married women may be attributed to chronic stress and recent life events. There has never been a report that looked at childhood adversities, chronic stress, and life experiences all at once. We use a diagnostic tool that approximates a major depressive episode diagnosis .

The key finding of the data review is that there is a substantial gap in a depression between married and single women. In plain words, married women’s depression is lower than single women’s depression. Married couples have greater life satisfaction than single women (Jacquot & Knack, 2009). The relationship between marital status and depression was investigated by Ronald C. Kessler and Marilyn Essex (1982). He discovered that married people have lower rates of depression than unmarried people because they are physically less affected by negative interactions for a variety of causes. Ito Y., Sagara J., and Ikeda M. (2004) studied the mental health of married people about marriage happiness, work-life, and household income. Those who were in their child-rearing years had the greatest connection. For women who worked full-time, career happiness was almost as critical as marital partnership satisfaction. Marital happiness is critical for health and well-being, according to Walker R., Isherwood L., Burton C., Kitwe-Magambo K., and Luszcz M. (2013), though the determinants of satisfaction among older couples remain uncertain. Most of the research on marriage has concentrated on the position of the partner, rather than on overall satisfaction with social relationships.

References

Cairney, J., Boyle, M., Offord, D. R., & Racine, Y. (2003). Stress, social support and depression in single and married mothers. Soc Psychiatry Psychiatr Epidemiol.

O’Brien, J. (2009). Encyclopedia of gender and society. Sage Publications.

Shah, I., & Sultan, R. (2012). A Gender based comparison of depression between married and unmarried young adults . International Research Journal of Arts and Humanities (IRJAH).

Shehzad, S., Farooq, S., Parpio, Y., Karmaliani, R., Asad, N., Syed, I. A., & Pasha, O. (2016). Factors affecting depression among married women living in urban squatter settlements of Karachi, Pakistan . Open Journal of Epidemiology.

Jacquot, C., & Knack, J. M. (2009). Depression. In J. O’Brien. (Ed.), Encyclopedia of Gender and Society (pp.194-196). Sage Publications, USA.

A ten-year-old girl asks her grandma, “Why did the marriage last longer in the past?’ Her grandma answers, “In the past, people would try to fix the broken things instead of buying or replacing a new one like what people nowadays do.” Although it might sound very reasonable, there must be a misconceived concept and reason behind it. Today, many of us find such a marriage disappointing. Many people define a successful life as a successful marriage. Every generation holds a different perspective and concept on relationships and marriage. So, what is marriage? Some might say the definition of marriage is a promise, a vow to stay with the person you love. Some might even say that marriage is the graveyard of love. In fact, we cannot give a correct definition of marriage. Marriage has changed a lot throughout seventy-five years of history. As society’s needs change, so does marriage itself change. And what is the most idealist and preferred marriage over the seventy-five years? There is numerous factor that can make a difference between the marriage now and seventy-five years ago. Most importantly, culture, education, and concepts are the key ideas that will make a difference and influence the marriage throughout seventy-five years.

In today’s world, there is a lot of evidence and statistics proving that marriage has certainly gotten more difficult. The divorce rate is getting relatively higher each year. (See example Figure 1) It clearly shows that the divorce got a lot higher compared to 1950. The “divorce rate was 2.5 divorces for every one thousand people in 1950, and decreased to 2.3 in 1955”(Frank Olito, How the divorce rate has changed over the last 150 years, Insider.com) The divorce rose rapidly after 1950 and remains constant during 2010 with still a high “divorce rate of 3.6 for every one thousand people”(Frank Olito, How the divorce rate has changed over the last 150 years, Insider.com) As we all want to know and figure out the reason of the rise of the divorce rate, education changed it. In the 1950s, couples usually got married right after high school and started to raise a family at the young age of around 20 years old. “The median age at first marriage in the 1950s is just over 20 for women and about 23 for men.” (Shelly Lindbergh, The Evolving Role of Marriage: 1950-2010, fatherly.com) Compared to now, most of the couples have marriage delays and do not get married till their 30s. As I mentioned above, many of the young couples started raising family right after school. Most of the mother stays home to take care of their kids and do not have an independent financial ability. They might not have a choice to make a decision on getting a divorce since they are dependent on their husbands. Nowadays, women and men are able to have gender equality and “more and better employment opportunities”(Rob Pascale, Marriage in Today’s World, Psychologytoday.com) An example seen in Figure 2, the rate of women and men “attending college increased rapidly during the 1980s”(Shelly Lindbergh, The Evolving Role of Marriage: 1950-2010, fatherly.com) Women and men have equal rights on making different decisions on their marriage, women have more abilities to control over their marriage and no longer rely on their husbands.

After the world war ended, during the 1950s, the baby boom and the suburban boom went concurrently. They instigate “the women to leave the workforce and embrace their roles as wives”(History.com editors, The 1950s, History.com) The principle of marriage during the time was often described to be “ It was mainly a woman’s job to foster a happy marriage and steer it away from divorce.” (Margarita Tartakovsky, A Glimpse into Marriage Advice from the 1950s, Psychcentral.com) Marriage was heavily dependent on women. The marriage experts and the great bulk of the population believed that the wives should be taken responsibility for their husband’s success. They were told in a quote by Emily Mudd, a sexual and marital counselor, “To be a successful wife is a career in itself, requiring among other things, the qualities of a diplomat, a schoolteacher, a politician and a glamour girl.”(Margarita Tartakovsky, A Glimpse into Marriage Advice from the 1950s, Psychcentral.com) These quotes made by those so-called experts mislead the general public’s perspective on marriage. Women were often blamed for their husbands’ affairs or even when they wanted to get a divorce, they were “likely causing their husbands to stray, drink or be violent in the first place”(Margarita Tartakovsky, A Glimpse into Marriage Advice from the 1950s, Psychcentral.com) From this, it could be seen that women had no say and had such low status on their marriage. There were often times that couples struggled with the same issues, but instead of sharing their problems, the couples “stayed silent, since they think it is more important to keep family intact”(Rob Pascale, Marriage in Today’s World, Psychologytoday.com) Nowadays, most of us seen love is an important factor of marriage. Marriage has also been seen differently in the past seventy-five years. They regarded marriage as a permanent relationship even if the couples did not feel satisfied anymore. However, in contrast, people are more open-minded about marriage now. Hence, if couples are not happy with their marriage, they are encouraged to think that their partner is just not the right person.

In general, the idea of marriage reform is a progressive idea aimed at pursuing human liberation and breaking away from feudal shackles. The positive role played by the process of women’s liberation and women’s liberation cannot be ignored. The evolution of marriage reform ideas cannot be done overnight. It takes a long journey of history. Every generation holds a different perspective and concept on relationships and marriage. As society changes, marriage has changed a lot throughout seventy-five years of history. culture, education, and concepts are the key ideas that will make a difference and influence the marriage throughout seventy-five years.

“He took me out for dinner and suddenly he knelt, I was shocked. Of course, I said ‘yes, I do’. I loved him and he loved me. Time flew and before I knew it I was wearing my gorgeous white dress while your grandad waited at the altar. It was one of the most beautiful days of my life”, said my grandma on her golden anniversary. Sounds beautiful, doesn’t it? Now, let’s be realistic. Marriage nowadays last as much as a doughnut does in my cupboard. Even if it does last, it raises other issues: moral and practical. Weddings are amazingly expensive, it doesn´t guarantee the best conditions for children, the origins are morally and ethically crude. So, is it really all that important for us to get married if we can maintain long-term, monogamous and cohabiting relationships without it?

Marriage is an institution of a patriarchal society. When marriage was first introduced, it was very akin to slavery. The word ‘husband’ has its roots in Akkadian, where it meant ‘owner of a wife’; the woman was like a slave, she was essentially the man’s property. Previously women were forced to get married for economic security. However, once they did the will of her husband who became her legal guardian in every way took the woman’s rights, independence and even identity (such as taking her last name). This doesn’t make sense in modern times, women are independent, and genders have equal rights, therefore, we no longer need marriage to get access to certain benefits.

Furthermore, marriage still remains a patriarchal structure of society, which, unfortunately, continues to penalize women for their gender, such as the wedding ceremony itself, the white dress symbolizes the bride’s virtue and virginity, which sexualize woman. She is passed from one man to another as a property when her dad walks her down the aisle ‘to give her away’.

Some people think married parents are better for children. What your children need are loving and caring parents, they won´t care if you have a contract or not. Studies show that “the conditions for the development of factors that children need most to thrive – consistent, stable, loving attention from two parents who cooperate and who have sufficient resources and support from two extended families, two sets of friends and society”. Marriage doesn’t guarantee these conditions, they exist in other family circumstances.

Furthermore, there is no longer a stigma on a woman if she has a child without getting married, in fact, sixty years ago in 1946 only 6.6% of babies were born out of wedlock, nowadays, according to the Office for National Statistics, 50% of babies are to unmarried women.

Marriage isn’t the key to a happy relationship. There is lots of evidence to prove it. A study from 2012 shows that unmarried couples who lived together were happier overall and had higher self-esteem than married couples. A review from 2011 shows that married couples felt less satisfied and less happy over time than those who didn’t get married. A 2014 National Bureau of Economic Research working paper found that the key for a happy long-term relationship is to find a partner who you would consider your best friend. So, no you don’t have to get married to be happy.

Furthermore, many people decide to get married just to show off their success within their relationship and personal life, as sociologist Andrew J. Cherlin affirms: “People marry to show their family and friends how well their lives are going, even if deep down they are unsure whether their partnership will last a lifetime”. We care too much about being accepted and respected within society, we forget what really matters, ourselves, our happiness.

I made a poll on my personal Instagram account, where I asked if they would get married or not and why. A really common answer was ‘I don’t want to be alone’. People still believe in the ‘until death do us apart’ commitment. As William Berry wrote on Psychology Today, “This (often illusionary) feeling of security is enhanced by the legal binding of one to another. It makes it more difficult to leave, and thereby relates to possessing. In short, we want to marry so we can hold onto another”. But contracts can be broken, nowadays a divorce is easier than to get out of a BT contract. Statistics show that 42% of marriages end in divorce in the UK. It doesn´t matter the legal status, it will last if you have a strong relationship. Also, even if it didn´t last, you can live alone and not be lonely.

Thus, I am completely convinced that in today’s society, in order to be a happy, loved person, marriage is not a necessity.