The topic of the same-sex marriage has always been a controversial one. Furthermore, with the recent legalization of same-sex marriage in the United States the public has divided the views on this point into two opposite frameworks. While on the one end of the spectrum there are people who support gay marriage and see it as an institutional right of an individuals freedom, on the other end, there are predominantly conservative people that view same-sex marriage humiliating for the country and the world as a whole. Despite all negative implications, I agree with the Senate legalizing same-sex marriage and will always support the right of any individual to love whoever he or she wishes.
Why Homosexuality Is Natural
One of the most spread opinions that dominate among the opponents of gay marriage is that homosexuality is unnatural; however, I would like to disagree and give some examples for why it is very wrong. Homosexual behavior in some animals is as spread as in people; furthermore, over four hundred and fifty species exhibited evidence of such behavior. For example, Gentoo and King penguins of the same sex were seen to engage in mating rituals a similar way different sex penguins were. Some male giraffes were evidenced to engage in such behavior by rubbing their necks together, paying no attention to the females.
In addition to that, scientists have found benefits in animals exhibiting such behavior, for instance, the pairing of two female Laysan albatrosses can provide better care for the offspring thus accounting for the shortage in the male population. Thus, comments that relate to the assertion that homosexuality is unnatural can be easily disproven by the scientific observations of the wild nature and animal behavior.
Why Gay Couples are not Bad Parents
The second point gay marriage opponents often raise is that gay couples are unfit parents for the future generations that will grow up gay as well. Also, people mention that a homosexual couple is unable to produce a child without outside help thus there is no point in such couples marrying. However, these points can also be easily contradicted. For example, if the point of the marriage is to have a child then why couples that are infertile are not excluded from the right to marry?
Furthermore, calling homosexual parents unfit to raise children is not supported by any substantial evidence. On the contrary, the study conducted by the American Academy of Pediatrics concluded that children raised in a family with the same-sex parents develop the same way as their peers raised by heterosexual parents. In addition to that, research performed by Bos and Gartrell gave evidence of children raised by lesbian couples developing even better than their peers.
It was proven that on average, children raised by lesbian parents do better in school, have a higher level of self-esteem, and rarely develop issues with their behavior. Thus, there are studies, which show that children raised by same-sex couples sometimes even do better than their peers, which diminishes the assertion that gay marriage should not be allowed for the reason of homosexuals being unfit parents for the future generations.
Marriage and Divorce Then and Now
The third point I would like to address in relation to gay marriage is that there is a misconception that same-sex couples are rarely lasting. However, the same can be said for any couple, regardless of the orientation. Furthermore, such an argument is quite outdated since it could have been possible in the 1950s when divorce was very rare, and adultery was considered a crime to be punished. Nowadays, on the other hand, approximately a half of all marriages end in a divorce.
Apart from that, approximately fifty-seven percent of men and fifty-four percent of women admitted to having cheated on their husband or wife. Thus, any kind of marriage is not the same as it was in the 50s. Saying that same sex marriage will not last is the same as saying that any kind of marriage will not last, which is true in the 50 to 50 ratio.
Why Religion Should not Dictate Marriage Laws
The last contradictory point I would like to mention is the very restrictive religious beliefs. While I respect the right of an individual to his or her religion, I disagree with the assertion that same-sex marriage should be banned just because some religions deem it wrong. As mentioned in the First Amendment, the state is separated from the church; and the right of an individual to marry is a social right and not religious.
I think that religious people that oppose gay marriage are just prejudiced and narrow-minded, driven by the word written in the religious works they usually refer to. If to speak about homosexuality being against religion, I can mention the horrible sexual assault crimes conducted by some Catholic priests predominantly against young boys. According to Stephen Fry (a writer, actor, comedian) in his Intelligence Square speech against the Catholic Church, the celibacy and other restrictions put on the monks, priests, nuns, and other members of the religious community make these people more prone to opposing any kind of sexual behavior just because they are not allowed to exhibit it themselves.
Thus, despite the contradictions, the right of an individual to marry a loved person is a human right that should never be frowned upon. On the contrary, it is important to support same-sex marriage for it to become a norm and not a topic of controversy anymore.
Common Misconceptions about Same-Sex Marriage and Conclusions
As already mentioned, same-sex marriage does have many opponents that see it as the violation of the natural law and the entire institution of marriage. Some people even view it as the moral wrong that should not be promoted to become a civil right. To go even further, there is an assertion that same-sex marriage is not a civil right at all thus it should not be supported. Despite all opinions that go against same sex marriage, it is important to remember that, at the end of the day, we all are people that deserve a right to love and to marry, regardless of whom we love. In addition, there can be no negative consequences of gay people getting married they will just get married and go on with their lives.
To conclude, I personally support same-sex marriage because all arguments against it hold no ground in my mind. Sometimes I imagine what if the world was the other way around and same-sex marriage was the generally accepted norm, and heterosexual marriage struggled for acceptance. Wouldnt heterosexual couples like to be accepted and granted a right to marry on the constitutional level? I think they would.
Marriage comes in different dimensions and forms this day, unlike in the past when it was legally the union of two people. Past generations had a standard marriage style which is no longer experienced by the modern generations. The new generation offers a variety of marriage styles and marriages that offer new opportunities, new marriage dynamics, and new ideas. Each culture is accustomed to different marriage practices that can be distinguished from one another. The purpose of marriage is so twisted and diverse today, leading to the formation of many marriage types based on their purpose and how the relationship between the two individuals is defined. The main types of marriage include traditional, civil, monogamous, companion-based, religious, and parenting marriages. All marriage types have key concepts, advantages, and disadvantages that help identify the best-suited ones needs.
Traditional marriage is the earliest form of union recognized in a given community, social group, or country at a specific period. It is conducted per the customs of the groom and bride families. The key features of this marriage are bride price, gifts, formal dances, and exchange of vows (Deezia, 2020). The bride price is paid to the womans family on the arranged date by the man as a form of appreciation. Gifts are exchanged between the families to cement the new union (Deezia, 2020). During the ceremony, formal dances are made as the two exchange vows. Both parents pray for their daughter and son for a long-lasting relationship. Advantages include creating a rich history within the family; it follows a procedure that creates a good bond and promotes friendship between families (Deezia, 2020). Disadvantages include family conflict, expensive to set up, and some marriages being pre-arranged without the consent of the bride or the groom.
Civil marriages are legally recognized without a religious or traditional ceremony. It is formed by signing a civil partnership document which can only be terminated by dissolution and not divorce. They are conducted in the offices of the Registrar of Marriages, Assistant County Commissioner, or Deputy County Commissioner (Khoury, 2020). A marriage certificate is presented and signed by both parties and the commissioning offices with two witnesses present, one for each partner and aged over 16 (Khoury, 2020). Early arrangements need to be made between the spouses and the registrar. Advantages include enjoying a marriages legal benefits, including support, inheritance, termination, and support. Each partner is legally entitled to part or all of the property in case of death or separation. The main disadvantage is the hardness of terminating the union (Khoury, 2020). It is illegal in some countries as it is not performed religiously or traditionally, especially in Arab countries.
Monogamous marriage involves a single partner at a time, with the relationship being emotional, sexual, or a combination of the two. It is the main form of marriage in the modern world and is supported by many religions. The main component is incorporating a single partner with zero sexual or emotional attachments with someone outside the relationship. Monogamous marriage reduces stress, promotes healthy relationships, and lowers the risk of sexually transmitted infections as only one partner is involved (Peoples & Zazzarino, 2019). It promotes dignity, trust, and confidence among family members while enhancing security. Commitment and undivided love are upheld while promoting intimacy between couples. The major disadvantage of this type of marriage is boredom, which leads to separation, divorce, and infidelity (Peoples & Zazzarino, 2019). A partner may find it hard to stick to the other for long, leading to cheating that ends up breaking the family.
Companion-based marriage involves a union between two individuals based on friendship. The couple desires to be friends for life as the friendship aspect is an essential part of the union. It promotes equality and mutual consent between the two partners, with the primary purpose being companionship, not security, financial support, or raising children (Isaac & Jiang, 2022). Trust and commitment promote the success of companion-based marriage. It promotes gender equality, birth control, and work-life balance, as spouses have no family obligations (Isaac & Jiang, 2022). The merits of this type of marriage include prioritizing support and communication between partners rather than material wealth. Disadvantages include lack of intimacy, which can lead to cheating and deterioration of friendship love. Friendship relationships are usually accompanied by a lack of passion and excitement (Isaac & Jiang, 2022). Busy schedules between couples can result in limited time together, which is bad for any relationship.
Religious marriage is a union conducted by a religious leader registered as an officiant by the Registrar General. A religious person conducts it, and there is an exchange of vows, readings from the scripture, and a blessing (Shofi, 2021). A marriage certificate is issued to validate the union of the bride and bridegroom (Shofi, 2021). The marriage presides with a ceremony involving family and friends if possible. The advantages of religious marriage include adding a spiritual dimension to the union. It promotes positive effects on economic outcomes, raising children, and mental health. Having religious partners who believe in the same faith promotes happier relationships. Interfaith marriages can lead to more disagreements and arguments within the relationship (Setiawan, 2022). The faith of the most religious partner can be compromised, leading to unhappiness. Religious marriages are expensive, which can be disadvantageous to low-earning partners.
Parenting marriage involves the relationship between two individuals for the childrens sake. There is no love, and the partners stay together until the kids come of age before separating. The main components of this marriage are the kids and both parents. For it to be successful, there is an agreement on new terms of the new marriage, kids are the main focus, and communication about the changing marriage is made (Fitriani, Zufferey & Ibrahim, 2022). Advantages include that it prioritizes the well-being of the children, reduces tension between parents, and there is continued family bonding. The demerits of this marriage are developing negative feelings and thoughts that can interfere with positive family interactions as there is no love (Fitriani et al., 2022). It is difficult for parents to be in contact constantly, yet each is developing a new life. The union gives children false hope about having a stable family and provides a poor relationship model.
Marriages have defining components unique to each and some merits and demerits to family members or partners. Traditional marriage is the earliest form of relationship unification conducted based on some customs and beliefs. Civil marriage is confined and administered by a legal officer of the government. Monogomaus is the most practiced marriage as it involves only a single partner. Companion-based marriage is based on friendship, love, and a relationship with no intimacy. Religious marriage is conducted within areligious settings, be it Muslim, Judaist, or Christian. Parenting marriage prevents children from becoming victims of a destroyed family. Today marriage is not all about the unification of a man and a woman as husband and wife. Each type of marriage is practiced by couples depending on the needs and preferences they all have.
Commonly same-sex marriages were considered to be immoral and were not supported by society. However, recently they became legal in some countries and several states of America. Thus, it can be seen that today people tend to be more loyal than their forbears.
Same-sex marriages are mainly not accepted by the church, and Christian ethics claims them to be forbidden (Andryszewski 28). Jeremy Bentham and John Stuart Mill created an approach opposite to the Christian one that can be used to support the issue. It is called utilitarianism, and its central idea is that the actions performed by human beings are to make them happy eventually. It does not matter what one does; it is important that he/she is satisfied with the outcomes (Braybrooke 54).
To deal with the issue in the utilitarianism perspective, one needs to decide how he/she treats the subject. When we want to determine if same-sex marriages are right or bad things according to utilitarianism, we evaluate the outcomes and answer the question on their basis. This approach is rather subjunctive.
According to utilitarianism, same-sex marriages are normal if the people agreed to be involved in them voluntarily and have no claims. Consent is the primary step that should be performed. Then any sexual relationships are considered to be moral. For example, if two women love each other and want to get married there is nothing wrong about it. However, if one of the partners is somehow forced (blackmailed, etc.) the marriage is morally wrong.
Benthams felicific calculus was provided within the framework of utilitarianism. It is used to measure the degree of happiness that is supposed to be gained when a particular action is accomplished. This algorithm helps in the decision-making process as it supports the predicted outcomes with appropriate data. The felicific calculus measures:
The intensity of the positive feeling achieved. One is to evaluate predicted happiness according to its strength;
Duration. It is considered how long will the person be satisfied with the outcome of the decision;
Certainty. One should think about the possibility of gaining no positive feelings. Maybe the risks are too high.
The propinquity of the feeling. It is to be predicted when the person will become happy.
Fecundity. One should consider if the outcomes can bring similar feelings;
The purity of the positive feeling. There is also a possibility that the action will cause negative sensations.
Extent. People interact with others, and the outcomes can influence them also (Mulnix 65).
I believe that people are free to choose what is best for them and support the idea of homosexual marriages to be moral if the partners have agreed. My opinion can be proved using the felicific calculus. The couple will be happy with the decision all their lives. As they dealt with lots of difficulties to achieve their goal, the pleasure will be rather high. If the partners are prepared to get married, and their decision is deliberate, they will surely be happy.
Of course, there is an opportunity that they will not find a common language and will divorce, but this issue is on the front burner for heterosexual couples as well. Positive feelings will occur as soon as the decision is made, and the action is performed. These will be not only pleasure and happiness but also the delight, enthusiasm, and joy. Negative feelings may be brought by the misunderstandings within the family and non-acceptance by society. This decision will influence all people that will interact with the couple.
Taking everything mentioned in the account, I came up with the conclusion that the acceptance of same-sex marriages can be supported by utilitarianism and the results of the felicific calculus.
Works Cited
Andryszewski, Tricia. Same-Sex Marriage: Moral Wrong or Civil Right? Minneapolis: Twenty-First Century Books, 2007. Print.
Braybrooke, David. Utilitarianism, Toronto: University of Toronto Press, 2004. Print.
Mulnix, Jennifer. Happy Lives, Good Lives: A Philosophical Examination, Peterborough: Broadview Press, 2015. Print.
Interracial marriage was an illegal social practice in the US until as recently as the 1960s when the Supreme Court abolished laws prohibiting interracial marriage; an issue that the same court had avoided for several years, fearing racial intermarriage to be a controversial issue. In recent years, the number of interracial couples has risen sharply. Young adults in the US have been experiencing a new life stage in which they now enjoy tremendous social independence. Although the young adults are still dependant on their parents for tuition expenses in college for example, they now enjoy a much more independent social life than young adults have ever experienced in the US before. This means that parents now have less control over their childrens mates. In the past, adult children normally lived with parents and this kind of setup gave the parents more control over the eventual mates that their children would have. Adult children who still depended on their parents for economic support could not engage in romantic relationships against the wishes of their parents. In contemporary society, parents no longer have much power over their childrens relationships and most parents now believe that children should be given freedom to choose suitable mates. But nevertheless, this selection of mates by young adults is normally determined by the norms and social boundaries of parents (Rosenfeld 2007, p.2-3, 19).
Interracial relationships and marriage
The term interracial has historically been used to refer to partners from different racial backgrounds. These partners may also display differences in culture, ancestry and customs. Children born into such relationships are referred to as multiracial or biracial. Most of the study done on interracial relationships and marriages in the US has concentrated on Black-White partnerships with studies on other interracial relationships like Native-American and Asian American to Black, White and Latino or White and Latino coming on very recently. Since World War II when African American soldiers returning home brought with them foreign brides, domestic and international intercultural marriages have been on the increase in the US. This has particularly been attributed to the weakening of boundaries that previously restricted out-of-race marriages as well as increased mobility of people. Although most interracial relationships take place among college or university students, actual interracial marriage takes place between middle-class persons who are a bit older, have previously been married, and those who work or live in integrated environments. Interracial marriages may also occur through attempts to solve individual problems or due to pregnancy (Okun & Anderson 1998, p. 200, 225).
Interracial marriage in the US has a long but very tortuous history that dates way back to the colonial times. After the first slavery laws instigated in the state of Maryland in 1661, Virginia soon after proposed a law that prevented interracial marriages. In the early 18th century, interracial dating and marriage were highly condemned with very strong social norms emerging, which prohibited intimate interracial contacts. Anti-miscegenation laws were drawn in the South with about 38 states passing laws that prohibited interracial marriage. Even by 1930, 30 states still practiced laws prohibiting intermarriage. In all these laws, Black-White relationships were banned. Whites were also not allowed to enter into intimate relationships with Hindus, Filipinos, Chinese, Hawaiians, Japanese and Native Americans. But only 14 states prohibited marriages between Asians and Whites while other seven banned Native American-White unions. Latin-White intermarriages remained officially allowable mainly because treaty protections had formally accorded White status to Mexican and Spanish citizens (Johnson 2004; Moran R. & Moran F 2003, p.4-5, 14-17).
In Americas past, racial minorities such as African Americans, Hispanics and Asians faced social and legal barriers that drew outlines regarding whether and how they could marry. Until 1967, interracial marriage was still prohibited in some states through prohibitive law enacted centuries back in 1661 to protect White women from men in low caliber positions. But these laws did not prevent sexual unions between Whites and Blacks in which children were conceived, giving rise to mixed-race offspring. It took the involvement of the court at different times in the history of America to modify and finally put an end to this type of discrimination against the racial minorities. The controversy surrounding interracial marriage in America has especially been concentrated around intimate relationships or marriage taking place between Caucasians and African Americans. This controversy has its roots in Americas long history of slavery.
Legally, slaves could not marry and in some states like Maryland and Virginia, Whites who got involved in interracial marriages would be punished. But the penalties invoked did little to halt interracial relationships and many White slaveholders were known to engage in sexual relationships with their own slaves; while others maintained mistresses among the freeborn. Blacks were also punished for engaging in sexual relationships with Whites but White men could even have children with the Black slaves. But even with an end to slavery, social and legal bars to interracial marriage remained and sanctions even grew stronger. Struggles over interracial marriage also affected the Asians, Chinese and Japanese (Craig-Henderson 2006, p.23-26; Walzer 2005, p. 32-35).
Prior to the year 1967, parents in most US states who opposed interracial marriage had the full support of the law but after these laws were struck down in 1967, racial intermarriage took a steady increase. Interracial unions however still experience several barriers, with Black-White intermarriages being the most affected by the barriers. Residential segregation remains a widespread phenomenon in the United States mainly because white families still want to have control over their childrens romantic or social access to children from other races (Rosenfeld 2007, p.19). Interracial marriages in the US have however almost quadrupled in the last thirty years or so while rates of interracial intimacy and dating have realized even greater rates. This increase has been largely attributed to the gradual erosion of racial barriers that have led to increased rates of interracial marriages. By the year 2006, interracial marriages in the US neared 1,500,000 with about 325,000 of these marriages occurring between Whites and Blacks. Americans have also had an increased tolerance for interracial marriages. In 1972, only about 25% of Whites approved of or tolerated interracial marriages, a figure that had risen to 61% in 1972 to 77% in 1997 (Craig-Henderson 2006, p.10-20).
Although public opinion about intimate relationships has become more positive with time, interracial marriages between Whites and Blacks are less frequent as compared to mixed marriages between Whites and other races such as Hispanics and Asians. Blacks still reflect a high tendency to marry within their racial group for several reasons. Interracial marriages are still regulated by interracial taboos with those involving Blacks and whites being most affected. His is mainly because current relations between Whites and Blacks are deeply rooted in the history of slavery, anti-miscegenation laws and legalized segregation, all of which hindered marriage and other forms of intimacy. While it is clearly evident that more blacks now enjoy better economic and political opportunities than was the case earlier on, Americas treatment of Blacks in these early times produced effects that still linger on. Present interracial relationships can therefore be influenced by the past especially in consideration of interaction patterns among teenagers and adolescents. In defining their own identity, adolescents refer to their parents and peers while independently finding their way through a very diverse society. Interracial relationships among adolescents often report hostility from families, strangers and friends (Craig-Henderson 2006, 20-21).
In the history of the US, the segregated neighborhood was used as a tool for the prevention of racial intermarriage. Racial divisions mainly determined the separation of Whites from Blacks although informal sexual relations existed between the two races especially between the slaves and their owners. Residential racial segregation was used as a tool for preventing interracial relationships and marriages. Mate selection is currently determined much more highly by individual preference and romantic love especially in the Western world. In contemporary US society, mate selection is normally constrained by demographic, social and legal forces which narrow down the pool of potential mates from the wider society.
Demographic and social constraints to mate selection include early age at marriage, residential racial segregation, closed labor markets and integrational co-residence. Before World War II, women had little access to the labor market and had to rely on men for financial support. Young women at the time married quite early normally within their racially segregated neighborhood and were very likely to be high-school sweethearts. Post-war residential segregation and laws against intermarriage as well as parental and societal approval also played a great role in determining the choice of mates. Laws prohibiting intermarriage between races had been passed in the Southern states after the reconstruction. Residential segregation prevented social mixing or interaction between races, interracial dating and interracial marriage. Even after the industrial revolution, interracial marriage in the US was rare even in those states where it was considered legal (Rosenfeld 2007, p.5, 19-22, 34-45).
Interracial relationships and marriage take place in an environment that has favorable social contact and when individuals from different racial groups enjoy equal status. Unequal status has normally produced feelings of resentment and reinforced social contact between persons of equal status is said to promote positive racial attitudes. Inter-group relations are also enhanced by intimate rather than superficial relations. Age also influences interracial marriage with older people displaying less tolerance for such marriages. Both Blacks and Whites over 35 years of age have a tendency to favor laws banning interracial marriage.
Social settings that enhance interracial relationships include workplaces, educational institutions, residential neighborhoods, religious institutions and shopping places. But contacts in each of these settings vary in cooperation, degree of intimacy and status differential. Residential neighborhoods enhance contact among people of the same social status, as well as reducing opposition to interracial contact especially dating. Intimate interracial relationships in workplaces are on the other hand highly determined by the race and sex composition of a particular organization. Most religions promote interracial tolerance and intimate relationships are likely to occur between people of different races but same religion. Highly educated persons also tend to approve of interracial relationships than the less educated and interracial marriages are therefore higher among the college-educated. This is because educational attainment generally creates more tolerance and increases equal-status interaction between members of different racial groups (Johnson 2004).
Although interracial marriages have been on a steady increase, they are highly determined by age with chances of marriage decreasing as people advance in age. Younger people are therefore more likely to be involved in interracial relationships, a trend that reflects the increased tolerance of interracial relationships in contemporary society. Interracial relationships however rarely lead to marriage although this trend has also been changing over the recent years. A study conducted in 2003 also reported a general reluctance among adolescents to reveal interracial romantic relationships to close friends and family. This was a sign that such relationships were yet to receive whole-hearted approval within the societies they were taking place in (Lang 2005). Favorable attitudes towards interracial relationships and marriage have been going through a steady increase in the US although some negative attitudes towards the same are still evident. Interracial dating and subsequent marriage also differ geographically and demographically with those living in California and other West coast states being more likely to date as well as marry interracially.
Interracial dating is more common among African Americans than Whites mainly because of the general perception among African Americans that there is a social benefit that comes along with dating Whites. While African American men date White women for purposes of enhancing their social status, White women on the other hand date African American or other minority men for such benefits as physical attractiveness, money or social power. African American parents are also likely to embrace interracial dating more than their White counterparts. Mothers however tend to embrace their childrens relationship choices than men. Gender also plays a vital role in interracial behavior and attitudes with men having a higher likelihood than women to be involved in interracial dating. Both White and African American women display less positive attitudes towards interracial dating (Belgrave & Allison 2005, p.151-152).
Interracial relationships and marriage remain some of the most highly debated topics in American society today. Despite the gradual increase in interracial relationships and marriage, some people still view these aspects quite unfavorably. They have a social, cultural and political significance largely because of the sociopolitical meaning that such unions have especially within the Black and White communities within which they take place. Although interracial coupling has traditionally held great significance as a good measure for group assimilation, and progress towards a multicultural society, couples between the Black and White have often invoked
racialized withdrawal into White and Black spaces. There is an overall inherent assumption defining interracial couples as being different from other couples. Among all types of interracial relationships and marriages in the US, Black-White couplings have attracted very mixed reactions ranging from disgust, curiosity and endorsement. These couples have also been portrayed in various ways such as being deviant, exotic, unnatural, pathological but always sexual. Both Whites and African Americans have also often objected to interracial marriages on grounds that children raised in such families will have problems when growing up and it also breaks family traditions. There is also the danger that interracial couples may continue being viewed as mismatched and separate individuals (Childs 6-11, 19; Belgrave 153).
Interracial couples are faced with a myriad of problems such as perceptions of indifference, sexualized/racialized stereotypes, familial opposition and lack of acceptance by the larger community. But such and other problems cannot be analyzed at individual level but rather as reflecting larger racial problems that cause division among the races. One of the major problems facing interracial couples is racial identity; an aspect that such couples have to struggle with. This is in spite of the fact that the attachment of couples to their ethnic or racial heritage has lessened in this era when there is a heightened awareness that racism still exists as well as the inequality that Whites continue to perpetuate on Blacks. Interracial couples also normally experience various problems related to their relatives, families of origin, friends as well as housing and employment. The extent of the problems depends on their geographical location, economic status, and the races from which their partners come. Couples with better economic status are better placed to withstand negative public attitudes. Many White families do not appreciate interracial marriage and view it as betraying racial purity.
White females are therefore more likely to face disapproval or be rejected by their families. Media stereotypes help to increase the fear and anxiety when a White female marries a Black male. Man Black families also consider interracial marriage as rejection of Blackness and betrayal of the Black race. The Black partner may even be viewed as a sell-out or traitor. But Black families however accept interracial unions than White families. Interracial marriages may also experience problems due to failure of one partner to meet the expectations of the other. A Black woman for example may marry a White man with expectations of financial security only to find herself living with a victim of underemployment. Family structure also poses another major problem when determining how far the couple should interact with immediate or extended family. Cultural differences may affect expected relationships of children with parents. In the event of a divorce or separation, biracial offspring are bound to suffer confusion and ambivalence about their loyalties and identity if they decide to live with a Black parent for example (Childs 2005, p.20-22; Okun & Anderson 1998, p.226-228).
Data collected on interracial marriages in the US reflects an increase in these types of marriages although available data mainly reflects an increase in the number of marriages between Whites and Blacks. High rates of interracial marriage are found in Oklahoma, Washington, Florida, Texas and California although Hawaii proportionally records the most intermarriages. This is mainly because since the 1990s, few American children born to Latino and Asian families marry outside their ethnic groups. While these children may feel quite Americanized and choose partners from different ethnicities, their parents back home expect them to pick partners from their cultures. This is irrespective of the fact that Americas immigrant population has created a broader choice for the children when picking partners. Most parents appear to be delighted when their children finally bring home partners from same culture or language. Many children are however not interested in staying within their cultures and are often very open when picking dates. But the parents influence highly determines whoever their children finally settle with (Root 2001, p. 6-7; Gonzales 2009).
Conclusion
Due to racial diversity especially on college campuses, most Americans are changing their attitudes towards interracial relationships. Too many young people, the issue of race has become irrelevant in determining ones choice of a partner. Interracial dating has been on the increase but nevertheless, more racial friendships among the young have not helped much to reduce negative attitudes towards a racial group; largely because of the stereotype that may exist towards the group (Jayson 2006).
References
Belgrave, Z.F. and Allison W.K. (2005). African American psychology: From Africa to America. Thousand Oaks, CA: SAGE.
Childs, C.E. (2005). Navigating interracial boarders: Black-White couples and their social worlds. New Brunswick, NJ: Rutgers University Press.
Craig-Henderson, M.K. (2006). Black men in interracial relationships: Whats love got to do with it? Somerset, NJ: Transaction Publishers.
Gonzales, R. (2009). A family affair: Culture influence relationships. Web.
Jayson, S. (2006). New generation doesnt blink at interracial relationships. Web.
Johnson, R.B. (2004). The Context of contact: White attitudes toward interracial marriage. Web.
Lang, S.S. (2005). Interracial relationships are on the increase in U.S., but decline with age, Cornell study finds. Web.
Moran, R. and Moran.F.R. (2003). Interracial intimacy: The regulation of race and romance. Chicago, IL: University of Chicago Press.
Okun, F.B. and Anderson M.C. Understanding diverse families: What practitioners need to know. New York: Guilford Press.
Rosenfeld, J.M. (2007). The age of independence: Interracial unions, same-sex unions, and the changing American family. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press.
Walzer, L. (2005). Marriage on trial: A handbook with cases, laws, and documents. Santa Barbara, CA: ABC-CLIO.
Welcome to our argumentative essay sample on arranged marriage: advantages and disadvantages. Here, youll find the disadvantages and advantages of arranged marriage, discussion, statistics, and other aspects of the debate.
Arranged marriages were very popular in traditional societies across the world. Arranged marriage was considered the best way through which a man or woman of the right age could get the right life partner for the continuity of a given lineage. However, modernization and Westernization have changed this mindset about arranged marriages not only in Western countries but also in various parts of the world.
Inasmuch as arranged marriages are still common all over the world. Many people now prefer selecting their life partners through unarranged processes. The debate about the relevance of arranged marriages is still raging in various societies across the world.
The practice is still common among Muslim communities, but the current generation is very keen on selecting their life partners based on love other than through arranged processes. This does not mean that arranged marriages are non-existence in the modern society. According to Tseng (127), arranged marriages are still common in the current society. The researcher seeks to determine the benefits and shortcomings of having arranged marriages.
Discussion
Arranged married were very common in past societies. Many factors made arranged marriages to be very important in traditional societies. Entezar (52) gives an example of a typical Muslim society in Saudi Arabia, where arranged marriages were very common in the past.
In this society, morality was highly valued. As children grew up, they had to understand and appreciate their identity. Boys had to grow up knowing that they would be heads of their families and had to work hard towards making their future life as good as they desired. On the other side, girls had to grow up knowing that they were responsible for household chores. They had to know how to prepare their homes and take care of their children.
At the adolescent stage, there were strict rules concerning the manner in which adolescent boys and girls were expected to interact. At this delicate stage of development, boys were not expected to mingle freely with girls (Lamanna and Riedmann 33). This was important because the elders knew that if this happened, then these teenagers might find themselves engaging in irresponsible behavior that may ruin the future of the girls. Society highly cherished the virginity of a woman at marriage, and this was one of the ways of protecting it.
In this kind of social setting, it was very difficult for young adults planning to marry to mingle with the members of the opposite sex so that they could understand each other and determine whether they were in love and could live together. This made it necessary for the parents or the society to arrange the marriages for their children.
With all the experience they had and knowledge about other families, parents could determine the appropriate life partner for their children. In most cases, they would conduct an investigation on the family and the man or woman who is planned to be the life partner of their children.
When they were satisfied, they would inform their children about the intended union. According to Roberts (78), although the two who were to be unionized were given the liberty to give their verdict over the issue, especially the man, they were expected to respect their parents opinion. However, rejecting a partner that the parents had approved was considered rude and unethical. For this reason, the parents decision would prevail, and the marriage would proceed with the blessings of parents from both sides.
Arranged Marriages in the Modern Society
The social structure of many communities around the world is changing very first due to the changes brought about by science and technology. It is common for an Emirati girl to travel to the United Kingdom or the United States at a tender age for further studies. Similarly, people from other parts of the world are flocking to the United Arab Emirates for various reasons, from tourism to trade. For instance, Dubai is currently one of the most diversified cities on earth because of its relevance as a strategic business hub.
Arranged Marriage Advantages and Disadvantages
As Tseng (43) puts it, the current society is a global village. The emergence of modern technologies and the relevance of the Western education system have redefined the social structure of society not only in the Middle East but also in the entire world. A child does not need to leave Abu Dhabi for the United States in order to be Westernized. The movies they watch and the music they listen to make them question some of the established systems in their traditional setting.
In the current society, it is not possible to prevent close interactions between adolescent girls and boys in Muslim communities. Parents have realized that the best gift they can give to their children is formal education, irrespective of their gender. For this reason, boys and girls will mingle freely at school.
They share classrooms, and sometimes, they are assigned tasks together. According to Lamanna and Riedmann (33), teachers have been forced to bear the pressure from human rights activists who insist on giving both boys and girls equal opportunities at school. This involves treating them equally in every activity, especially at higher levels of learning.
In this highly integrated setting, young adults can get to understand each other. A young man planning to marry should know that different women behave differently. The same case will apply to a woman. She will know the kind of man she would want as a life partner. Entezar (39) calls this liberation. The education system liberates the mind of the younger generation from tight control from their parents.
They can look at the world from their own perspective to determine what they want in life. The main question that many people have been asking is the relevance of arranged marriages in the current liberated society. In the past, young adults would not mingle easily, and this made it difficult to choose the right life partner. In the current society, this has changed as the education system makes it possible for these people to interact very closely.
In the past, knowledge and wisdom were believed to rest with the elders, and their views were almost considered a sacred command that was not to be questioned, even if it was apparent that they were in error. In the current society, the younger populations have been liberated, and they have the capacity to advise the elders about the future.
Despite these facts, a number of people still find arranged marriages very important for the well-being of the couple and the community at large. At this stage, it will be important to analyze the benefits and shortcomings of arranged marriages.
Advantages of Arranged Marriages
Arranged marriages remain popular not only among Muslims but also in other societies around the world. According to Tseng (81), even in the West, it is common to see parents trying to influence the choice of life partners for their children.
This is an indication that even with all the education that their children may have and the westernizations- having been born and brought up in the West, the parents always have the feeling that their children could make a mistake when choosing their life partners. This creates a feeling that they should play a role in making this important choice. This is a strong suggestion that arranged marriages have benefits that should not be ignored.
One of the biggest advantages of arranged marriages is that the partners will have a perfect match when it comes to culture, religion, social status, lifestyle, and many other factors that always affect the compatibility of couples. As Browne (83) notes, basing marriage on love is great, but sometimes when love defines everything, then one would be blinded to some of the social incompatibilities that may make life difficult for the couple after marriage.
It will force the partners to make compromises, some of which may go against ones own beliefs and customs. At the early stages of life, making such compromises may be simple because of the infatuation brought about by the feeling of love.
However, as the couple settles down in marriage, these realities start setting in, and it may cause serious strains in the relationship. Unless the couple is strong-willed and determined to make everything work in their favor, the marriage can be brought to an end after a short while. The following figure shows the rising cases of divorce in the UAE from 1960 to 2008.
Figure 1: Rates of Divorce from 1960 to 2008. Source (Browne 67).
This problem can easily be solved when the marriages are arranged. The people arranging the marriage will ensure that the couple is perfectly compatible before they can be allowed to marry.
It is a fact that in arranged marriages, the couple gets to benefit from the support they get from their parents and family members. When parents and members of the community are allowed to play a part in arranging the marriage, they will feel honored. They will take all the responsibilities in the entire marriage process. The parties who are getting into this union will be relieved of the financial burden that is involved in organizing the marriage.
Members of the community will ensure that all the expenses are addressed because it is their responsibility. All the tasks will be addressed from the communal level, meaning that the couple will get maximum support when organizing the wedding. The feeling that family members are happy with the marriage also has a positive psychological impact on the partners.
They will start life knowing that they have the full support of members of their communities. In such weddings, people will come and celebrate together as they witness the union. Given the fact that they were the organizers, make feel responsible. They will bring many gifts to help the couple start life without struggling much.
Marriages are designed to last forever, whether it is in the traditional setting or in modern Westernized society. When two people come together in marriage through the support of the parents and community members, they get a wide base of moral support whenever they have problems in their families.
Given the fact that members of the society organized their marriage, they have the moral authority to go back to them in case they are experiencing problems. Parents from both sides can be called to help solve the problem, and they will feel obliged to extend their help. The two will realize that their union is not limited to their family. Such unions bring together the entire community, and this minimizes the chances of divorce.
Every member of the community will try to help the couple work out their way in life, even in the face of challenges. The partners from both sides will also find themselves with a moral obligation to the community. They will know that their families and society cherish their marriage. This will make them determined to find solutions to the problems that may affect their marriage as a way of respecting their family members. In such unions, even children group up knowing the importance of love and family ties.
Disadvantages of Arranged Marriages
According to a survey conducted by Roberts (2), arranged marriages are becoming less common in modern society. This is so because people have come to realize that arranged marriages have a number of flaws that make them undesirable. Below are the results obtained from the survey in four countries about the attitude of members of society towards arranged marriages.
Figure 2: Attitude towards Arranged Marriages. Source (Roberts 18).
From the statistics shown above, it is clear that most of the participants in this survey noted that they do not have favorable attitudes toward arranged marriages. They noted a number of factors that make them feel that arranged marriages are a practice that should not be encouraged in modern society. The following are some of the specific disadvantages of arranged marriages. According to Browne (73), in arranged marriages, the decision to choose ones partner is taken away from ones hands.
The elders have the sole discretion of choosing a life partner for an individual who plans to marry. Marriage is a complex process that involves bringing together two completely different individuals into a lifetime union. The personality of the life partner will define the quality of life one has.
Given the sensitivity of this issue, one should be allowed to take time to understand the other person who is supposed to be the life partner. This would require a long time of interaction, trying to understand the personality of the person to determine if a life together can be a personality. The opportunity is denied to people who engage in arranged marriages.
According to Lamanna and Riedmann (33), in most cases, couples in arranged marriages find themselves in union with people who have contrasting personalities. It is important to appreciate that sharing religious beliefs, cultural practices, or social status may not necessarily make them compatible. The personalities of an individual may not be rigidly defined using demographical factors. Sometimes people of a completely different caste may find themselves more compatible than those that share their caste.
What makes the whole system very complex is the attachment that members of the family will have to that marriage. The two couples may be forced to stay together even if they find fundamental contrasts in their personalities simply because their parents and community members arranged their marriage. Such people will stay in their marriages because of the wish of their parents. As Entezar (67) notes, the marriage will cease to be blissful, and it will turn into a prison, as demonstrated in the figure below.
Figure 3: The Feeling of Imprisonment in Arranged Marriages. Source (Entezar 56).
As demonstrated in the above figure, the partners will have more questions than answers in their union. Happiness will be gone, and in most cases, they will regret why they accepted the union in the first place. According to Lamanna and Riedmann (33), love in arranged marriages takes a secondary position. The partners are not given time to bond and develop love towards each other before their marriage.
Those who are involved in arranging the marriage always assume that the two will develop an attraction and love towards each other once they are in a marriage. However, this fallacy should be avoided. Chances are high that if the two entered into a marriage without love, then they may spend their entire lives without loving each other.
Entezar (56) describes such unions as marriages of convenience. The parties involved in the marriage will not be doing it for their own sake and for the sake of love. They will be doing it for the sake of their parents. They will be trying to please people around them, disregarding the importance of a strong bond that is always created by love. This weakens the foundation of their marriage.
The research by Browne (47) shows that arranged marriages are vulnerable to interferences from external forces. When family members participate in bringing the couple together, they will develop a feeling that they have the right to define the way the family is run. Each of the family members will make an effort to define the way the couple will be leading their lives. In some cases, these family members may find themselves positions in the newly created family.
They will want to visit the new family at wish, and whenever they have a personal problem, they will demand help from the couple simply because they participated in bringing them together. As Tseng (112) says, such environments are not good for the growth of the new family. Sometimes the demands of these family members may be unrealistic. Such negative forces are uncommon when the couple makes their own decisions when marrying.
Arranged Marriage: EssayConclusion
Arranged marriages are still commonly practiced in the modern society. It is clear from the above discussion that this form of marriage was more common in traditional societies than it is in the current society. However, even in the current society, it is clear that one cannot dismiss the relevance of arranged marriages.
These marriages help in bringing family members together when choosing a life partner. This research reveals that despite these advantages, arranged marriages also have shortcomings that should be considered before a family can subject one of their own to it. Based on this discussion, using a blend of arranged and unarranged marriages may be of great benefit to the members of the family and, most importantly, to the couple.
Works Cited
Browne, Ken. An Introduction to Sociology. Cambridge: Polity Press, 2011. Print.
The questions related to family, marriage, and gender roles always played a crucial role in society. The norms established in these fields were changing in different historical periods. Sometimes, the mode of behavior considered as a rebellion against the social standards in one period could become a norm in the following era. An example of such violation could be observed in the epic romance film Gone with the wind (1939) adapted from the book by Margaret Mitchell. In this essay, the structure of the families and the issues of marriage represented in the film will be described. The paper will also demonstrate how the protagonist of the film, Scarlett OHara, violated the established rules, however, determining the ideal for the following generations.
The film describes the American South during the Civil War and the following years, characterized by the reconstruction of social and economic ideals. Scarlett OHara, the main character of the film, represents the new, emerging ideal of a strong, socially active, and psychologically independent woman. The story of her life demonstrates the challenges she faces while trying to fit into the existing social norms of the previous era. Scarlett was born and brought up in a traditional family with a father of Irish origin and a South American-born mother. Traditionalism is manifested in the household structure where the father is responsible for the familys income, and the mother is the house manager. As in all other families represented in the film, the woman is the one to perform house chores; the man is outside of them. Children are brought up in a culture of respect and obedience towards their parents. Scarletts two sisters are determined, upon reaching a certain age, to marry the men chosen by her parents rather driven by economic and social concerns than interested in their daughters preferences. The families are extended; often, relatives live together, or visit and stay in each others houses. The familys model is distinctly patriarchal, and women have little right of choice in family, as well as in political, social, and economic life.
The marriage of the youth is mostly planned by their parents; there is little space for personal feelings. In the case of Wilkes, intermarriage within the family has been practiced for several generations, providing the reason for Melanie Hamiltons engagement to Ashley Wilkes, her first cousin. However, Scarlett is a character who does not act according to social norms. By her behavior, she violates the domestic ideals as a belle, wife, mother, and widow & the Victorian rules dealing with women and economic life. (Setyowati, 2017, p. 163). During the period depicted in the film, she marries three times. She chooses all the partners of her life without the order or even advice of her parents. The first marriage is short as her husband Charles Hamilton dies soon after it. In the second, when married to Frank Kennedy, she is the family leader, working as a man and earning more than her husband. Only in the third case, Rhett Butler could be considered the head of the family; yet, Scarlett is too ambitious and independent to become subordinate.
In the film, there are no examples of cohabitation, heterosexual or homosexual relationships, as well as monogamy, serial monogamy, polygamy, or polyandry. At the time described in the movie, there was no place for such forms of relationships, and even divorce was hardly acceptable by society. A woman could marry the second time, as Scarlett OHara did, only in case of the first husbands demise after an extended period of mourning.
In summary, the families, types of marriages, and gender roles performed in the households described in Gone with the wind are traditional. However, Scarlett OHara violates the established norms, setting the ideal of the independent and self-sufficient woman. She can financially support the whole family, as well as take the decisions on her own rather than follow her husband. Such a position, considered unusual in the era described in the film, gradually became the norm in the following historical period.
References
Fleming, V. (Director). (1939). Gone with the wind [Film]. Selznick International Pictures.
Setyowati, L. (2017). Gender ideals violation in domestic and economic life as found in Margaret Mitchells Gone with the wind. Humaniora, 8(2), 163-172.
The recommendation that would be made to Chris is that his views of places of worship to be obligate to perform same-sex marriages is untrue. The first reason is that people in society have different ways of accepting other individuals sexual orientation, such as same-sex marriage (María et al., 2022). Hence, it is essential to respect the ideologies of different places of worship. The second recommendation is that Chris should try understanding that every person has their own beliefs and ideologies. It is caused by the existence of freedom of expression and the ability to understand the different intercultural communication competencies. Hence, Chris was free to feel the way he does, which does not mean there are no places of worship that perform same-sex marriages. The third recommendation is that Chris should be able to respect the way people choose to do their things. It is because social contexts significantly impact peoples behaviors, which are better built through socialization. Therefore, interaction and communication broaden ones perspective.
Terry
When it comes to Terry, the recommendation is that he should continue to have a positive way of thinking, as he believes that the place of worship should not be obligated, but want to. This shows that there is freedom, and something has to be done willingly, not from the point of duty. Additionally, marriage is considered sacred and hence should not be forced to be performed. The second recommendation is that there are movements that offer same-sex marriage willingly without being obligated to do this. Terry can make it possible for Chris to understand that there are freedoms for LGBTQ now than in years back (Romero, 2020). Also, the movements have an existing place, where same-sex marriages take place. Lastly, it would be beneficial for Terry to advice Chris that LGBTQ couples not only do they have a chance of getting married normally, but also attending worship centers like typical people. This advice can provide affirmation to Chris that indeed the LGBTQ individuals are ordinary people with different sexual orientations.
The paper deals with the marriage as dealt with in the book by Jane Austen, The Pride, and Prejudice. The book espouses evidence of being inspired by writings of that era. Typically, there are instances when the womens liberation as visualized by Mary Wollstonecraft and the woman as visualized by a father Dr. Gregory have also influenced the way the novel has proceeded. Therefore, the review is conducted by taking into account the various articles that have been given in the book on the Longman Culture series of Pride and Prejudice. Initially, the review looks at it from the womens liberation viewpoint and then later from the womans modesty and behavior viewpoint proposed by Dr. Gregory. In addition to these, the influence of the Clandestine Marriage Bill and the reviews of the earlier writers such as Trollope and Sir Walter Scott are also taken into account.
Introduction
Marriage as an institution was quite solid at the time of Jane Austen. The Christian sanctity of the institution is also to be taken into account. That marriages are made in heaven was believed and yet both parents and their wards had to do something on their own for the marriages to be so made! Talking of parents, they may be obsessed with marriage as in the case of Mrs. Bennett or rather indifferent as Mr. Bennett would suggest. The novel Pride and Prejudice provide several angles to look at the subject of marriage.
Mrs. Bennett and her views on marriage
Having had five daughters of marriageable age, Mrs. Bennett started thinking quite early, about how to rope in eligible sons-in-law. It might be a good idea to get a clear picture of the kind of society that she lived in to understand why Mrs. Bennett behaved the way she did. With an interest in marriage that bordered on obsession, there was nothing else that mattered to her. Of course, the only thing that did matter was the financial status of the person her daughters would marry. She could not even imagine a situation where one of her daughters could turn down the proposal of a man; even though he was of questionable character. As Jane Austen, herself describes her, The business of her life was to get her daughters married. However, when confronted with the question of private education right at the beginning, the author seems to side with Mary Wollstonecraft in her sensibilities to private education and the impact it has on young girls and their lives.
With the obsession with marriage becoming stronger as the story progresses, it is difficult for Mrs. Bennett to come to terms with a situation where none of her daughters can make a suitable match. She is not able to depend on her husband; his lackadaisical attitude is enough to send her into a spin, not knowing how to set things right, without being overwrought about what is happening. Whereas her daughters were more in line with what Dr. Gregory in his article to his daughters points out, you will easily see that I could never pretend to advise whom you should marry; but I can with great confidence advise whom you should not marry. They could always say why they cannot marry someone then why they should!
Marriage from the point of view of the other women in the novel
As mentioned at the outset, there were various views on marriage that the characters seemed to profess. What unites them all is the fact that a very small minority of the women in the novel did not believe that marriage was essential. The vast majority of the women and most of the men were of the firm view that it was possibly the goal of any human being, male or female to find a suitable spouse within a certain period. There was no male sexual predation over the female in any of Janes novels which sets the tempo of this work. This is more a subtle and yet perceptible change in the behavior of the people that increases the chances of one finding her partner for life. There is no hurry except for Mrs. Bennett. There is no ruffling of feathers in the hornets nest. But there was every reason for every one of the ladies to have their choice of the right man. The seventeenth-century setting has greatly highlighted the times then, bringing into focus what was happening to the women of that time. In a male-dominated society that did nothing more than find for themselves the right woman, it was the duty of the woman to ensure that she is secure and safe and has the protection of the men for the rest of their lives. There is constant stress on the beauty that lies underneath the entire story and is in line with the times then. As Mary Wollstonecraft says, the woman has to stay beautiful to stay under the protection of her man. When she becomes not so desirable then her standing in society was certainly questionable. However, it is also important to note that she refers to the law, ostensibly the Clandestine Marriage Bill, and the debate that raged the House of Commons in those days. The bill was repealed in line with the discussions that centered around blasphemy and of course, the elections at that time.
Among the daughters of Mrs. Bennett, it was Elizabeth, her second-born who had an idea that was not in line with the ideas of the others. In line with the writings of Dr. John Gregory, who advises in his article A Fathers legacy to his daughters, ladies should keep their idea of marriage inviolable in your bosoms. She did not reveal what was going through in her mind. So did her other sisters too. She believed that marriage would not be even considered if the person who asked for her hand in marriage did not attract her personally. In other words, she was convinced that she would marry more for love than for money. Though she is attracted towards Mr. Darcy, the knowledge that she acquires from Mr. Wickham about Mr. Darcys supposed meanness turns her away from him. She is not able to even contemplate the idea of marrying the man, because she so despises his very nature. By the time, the end of the story is reached; she gets to learn of his innate goodness and the reasons for him behaving in a particular way. This gives her a brand new idea about marriage and encourages her to think of it in very glowing terms. Till now she has looked upon it as a contract of convenience, one that is entered into to ensure financial security till the end. This view slowly changes when she realizes that the object of her affections, Mr. Darcy is truly worthy of her hand. There is no doubt that love takes precedence over material wealth. Her decision to marry, though long in coming, is welcomed by all.
However, the decision initially not to marry and then later consent to seem to be more in line with what Mary Wollstonecraft states in her treatise on A Vindication of the Rights of Woman. Quoting from her text: Women are told from their infancy and taught by the example of their mothers, that a little knowledge of human weakness, justly termed cunning, the softness of temper, outward obedience, and scrupulous attention to a puerile kind of propriety, will obtain for them the protection of man; and should they be beautiful, everything else is needless, for at least twenty years of their lives. And she wants women to come out of this ramshackle bond that is holding them. And true to the spirit of feminism, Elizabeth initially denies her lover but later after realizing the truth in his words and the cause of his behavior accepts him. The character creation of the mother is very much in line with these definitions laid down by Mary.
On the other hand, the other daughters of Mrs. Bennett seem to fall into the same old rut of making the best of a bad bargain. They are as obsessive as their mother when it comes to looking for a suitable man. There is no doubt that they believe in the act of marriage being the most important and most sought-after occasion in a persons life. When Lydia runs away with Mr. Wickham, without even a clue to his real nature, one wonders why this takes place. Is it because Lydia wants to escape from prying eyes and wagging tongues that keep questioning the singleness of the Bennett brood, or is just plain girlish impetuousness that drives her to elopement? Be that as it may, there is no doubt that she enters into this treatise with Wickham, fully believing his ability to keep her secure and happy for the rest of her life. It is looked at as the mans duty to have enough fortune to take care of his wife.
There is yet another female character, Lady Catherine de Bourgh, who is the aunt of Mr. Darcy. Though this woman has no illusions about the institution of marriage, she avers that no marriage can be considered workable, if there is a variation in the societal status of the two people involved. There is a clear message in this attitude. She is more conscious of the aspect of financial stability than the ephemeral (according to her) nature of love and affection. She insists that marrying below ones one status is sure to lead to marital problems later on.
Is there an element of feminism or absence of it in Jane Austens females?
In this changing world of modernism and post-modernism, there is always room to contemplate whether or not, the female characters of Jane Austens Pride and Prejudice displayed an element of feminism in their behavior or not. Most feminists would aver that with this level of passion in the institution of marriage, it is difficult to even associate the idea of feminism with any of the characters mentioned in the novel. On the other hand, there is a view, that might sound quite convoluted, that despite all the importance given to finding a good husband, there is a streak of independence shown in the female characters, that could be considered feminist. Most of the women in the novel end up getting their way, whether it is finding a husband or ensuring that married life is worth living. In every one of these women, Jane Austen seems to reflect the mind of many of the women rights lobbyists, more particularly, she seems to have been influenced by the thoughts of her contemporary Mary Wollstonecraft. Feminism was in the actions that these women displayed at the same time, as Trollope says in his 1870 review, throughout her (Jane Austen) work, a sweet lesson of homely household womanly virtue is being taught. Though there are libertarian thoughts in her works, there is also this underlying current that sets the entire work in the same strain. There is the religion that has its due place and there is the ever so important manwoman relationship that it espouses. Jane Austens thoughts have inspired more than two centuries of women on various counts.
Conclusion
After this passionate and all-consuming desire to get girls married to the right person at the right time, the character of Mr. Bennett is in sharp contrast. His attitude is a foil to this over-enthusiasm of his wife. The brides and bridegrooms to be, if we go by the novel, are varied and capable of unexpected evolutions. A familys respectability depended on whether the grown-up children were properly married or not and that in turn would depend on the property that the bridegroom owned and the ancestral connections he had. It can be generalized in the period of the novel that women were relegated to the secondary level in matters of property as well as crucial decisions of the family, including marriage. Characters such as Mrs. Bennett have to cast their nets as wide as possible and in between stretch them to wider areas according to the possibilities of rich eligible young men.
Jane Bennett seems to agree, rather tamely, to marry Mr. Bingley because he happens to be a man of property, plus heritage; but, the situation could change when it is known that there are better prospects. Someone like Elizabeth Bennett, of course, would study the prospect from different angles though the basis would be the same for all girls. However, the author emphasizes the fact that there is nothing ideal in society. There is no ideal man or woman whom one could marry or be with. Elizabeths sister, Lydia, elopes on the false belief that Wickham was a person of strong means, a quality that has more importance than anything else to her.
The eighteenth-century attitude of male superiority is reflected in Mr. Darcy, who has a kind of contempt for most of the female population of Meryton village. The source of this superior attitude was of course from the property rights which were exclusive to men, in his time. However, Jane Austen goes beyond to include matters of the heart and the changes therein.
First Impressions was the earlier title of Pride and Prejudice; this sums up the idea that the book was more about what happens before marriage than what happens after it. Jane Austens characters in Pride and Prejudice seem to be obsessed with the idea that marriage is the only goal worth working towards. The book begins with the famous lines It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife and ends with a happy occasion of two marriage ceremonies. Whether or not these couples lived happily ever after could only be happy speculation.
Summary
The Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen are influenced by the thoughts present during the age; more specifically by the thoughts of liberal thinkers such as Mary Wollstonecraft. She is equally influenced by writings of people who consider womanhood as modest at the same time woman should choose her path. This idea has been reflected in most of her characters when they choose marriage. This has also been brought out by her reviewers.
References
Debates in the House of Commons on the Clandestine Marriage Bill.
Mary Wollstonecraft, 1792, A Vindication of the Rights of Woman.
Dr. John Gregory, 1774, A Fathers legacy to his daughters.
Sir Walter Scott, 1815, Review: The Pride and Prejudice, Quarterly Journal.
Anthony Trollope, 1870, Review of the Pride and Prejudice.
Marriage is an essential part of peoples social lives, that helps them regulate their relationships with each other. Gays and lesbians strive to have the same basic freedoms as heterosexuals, including the right to relationship. However, there exist not only ethical issues but also legal ones related to the restriction of rights. The absence of a marriage certificate can create the same difficulties for same-sex couples as for heterosexual ones. Still, these families have no opportunity to resolve them by formalizing their mutual relationship because some states in America prohibit them from marrying. At the same time, they are trying to defend the right to marriage at both the state and national levels. The public discussion addresses the issue of supporting or not recognizing same-sex marriages. Accordingly, the populations are divided into two camps: some approve of gay marriage rights, while others believe that this right undermines respect for the institution of the family.
Context of the Problem
Non-registration of same-sex marriages causes many problems for gays and lesbians. For example, if the relationship ends, it is challenging for homosexuals to divide their common property. Another point to mention about divorce is that if they married in a state that allowed it and lived in a prohibitionist jurisdiction, they must divorce where they live. Accordingly, a legal conflict is founded, which takes a long process and a significant amount of effort to resolve. At the same time, there are many advantages in the U.S. in the form of general family insurance or tax and pension benefits that gays do not receive in some states. It should be noted that without a formal marriage, it is incredibly problematic for same-sex couples to adopt a child (Hart-Brinson, 2018). Thus, full official recognition of same-sex marriage should provide all the constitutional rights for gays that are now limited.
History
Gays have been trying to assert their rights to recognition as a social group for a long time. The Stonewall revolts started a political movement when even homosexuality was considered illegal in every state except Illinois. By 1973 nearly fifty thousand organizations were fighting for the rights of homosexual minorities. As early as 1970, gays were demanding official recognition of the right to marry (Mattson, 2020). The issue of same-sex marriage again rose after the 1993 Hawaii court ruling that the state must recognize gay unions. Subsequently, 40 more states passed the Defense of Marriage Act, recognizing only traditional marriage. In 1996, Bill Clinton signed a law stating that no state should accept gay unions. Nevertheless, the case of Baker v. Vermont admitted gay marriage rights (Tankard & Paluck, 2017). However, until 2010, 14 states banned same-sex unions. In 2011 President Obama introduced a proposal to repeal the Defense of Marriage Act, accordingly prohibiting same-sex unions. Afterward, the U.S. Supreme Court legalized gay marriage the problem remains unresolved in certain states.
Parties to the Debate
Proponents of recognizing same-sex unions argue that rejection based on gender is discriminatory. At the same time, they emphasize that the prohibition and condemnation of gay marriage lead to the perception that they are not full citizens. Advocates also point out that people in same-sex marriages should enjoy all the rights afforded to ordinary couples. In support of their views is a 2014 Miami-Dade County Circuit Court decision, noting that Floyds ban on gay marriage is unconstitutional (Hirsch, 2020). The courts opinion claims that it has the effect of diminishing the protected constitutional rights and dignity of gay people. It is also discriminatory because there are many benefits available only to married couples. For example, they file a joint tax return that reduces the tax burden or family insurance. However, advocates of gay marriage also make the claim that such unions boost the economy. For example, in 2012, New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg reported that gay marriage enriched the budget by fifty-nine million dollars in one year alone (Hirsch, 2020). That is, gay couples also paid taxes and marriage licensing fees, which helped fill the budget.
The views of those in favor of banning same-sex unions should also be considered. Their main argument is that the marriage of the gay couple undermines values and centuries-old traditions. As an alternative, they propose the protection of gay rights at the level of social unions. Another argument is the religious belief that partnership is necessary to continue the species and that gays cannot provide this. A California Supreme Court would affirm this view and indicate that what matters to society is the continuation of the species. Similarly, religious teachings oppose the legalization of marriage. The Bible, in Leviticus 18:22, states, Current shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination (Williams, 2018, p. 247). Thus, believers interpret this as a prohibition against such a relationship and consequently its legalization.
Recommendations to Solve the Issue
In order to solve the same-sex marriage problem, public opinion must be examined to reassure it that there is no danger if gay marriage is legalized. In fact, most gay couples also have religious beliefs and will attend services at church. Thus, one can request the help of a religious pastor to explain that marriage is needed not only for the continuation of the species but also for the peace of heart and soul. In this way, the anxiety and sadness that accompanies gay marriage result from the influence and misunderstanding of others, something the Bible does not approve of either. Accordingly, many believers will realize that their categorical thought is inconvenient and not following the commitments of the church (Williams, 2018). In turn, same-sex unions will have more success among religious people, who are very categorical on this issue. As a consequence, then the religious factor will not be one of the reasons for not registering marriages.
The next recommendation is to use international law, as the International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights and the Human Rights Committee prohibit discrimination on the grounds of sex. Therefore, it is possible to appeal to international bodies, such as the European Court of Human Rights. Based on the fact that these democratic institutions ensure that states respect the rights of citizens, their decisions are mandatory. Accordingly, a gay couple will officially register their marriage in a forbidding state (Williams, 2018). At the same time, the state or the nation will have a court decision to be respected in the following similar cases. This will thus ensure that same-sex marriages will be registered in a free and compulsory manner.
Conclusion
Therefore, the problem with same-sex marriages is that not recognizing them comprehensively creates inconvenience for gay couples; accordingly, their rights guaranteed by law are restricted. Meanwhile, there is still an active public debate about whether or not same-sex marriages should be officially accepted. Both sides of the discussion make strong arguments, which continues to be the case. In summary, gays still have problems in areas where heterosexuals are not limited.
References
Hart-Brinson, P. (2018). The gay marriage generation. New York University Press.
Hirsch, H. N. (2020). The future of gay rights in America. Routledge.
Mattson G. (2020). The gay marriage generation: How the LGBTQ movement transformed American culture. Contemporary Sociology, 49(2), 170-172.
Tankard, M. E., & Paluck, E. L. (2017). The effect of a Supreme Court decision regarding gay marriage on social norms and personal attitudes. Psychological science, 28(9), 1334-1344.
Williams, H. H. (2018). From family values to religious freedom: Conservative discourse and the politics of gay rights. New Political Science, 40(2), 246-263.
A traditional marriage is the union of two people whose romantic relationship has become more profound and formalized. The relationship between people does not necessarily have to end in marriage, and many couples feel great about being single all their lives. Nevertheless, statistics show that about two-thirds of women have been married at any point in the past half-century, indicating a high prevalence of the marriage phenomenon (Ortiz-Ospina & Roser, 2020). A happy marriage can bring excellent development for romantic relationships, make them more serious and meaningful, and provide a start for starting a new family. However, Ortiz-Ospina and Roser (2020) also report that not all marriages succeed, and as many as 37% may end in divorce. This is quite a large percentage, and as the number of years lived together increases, the number of divorces tends to increase, according to the same authors. The high divorce rate is the primary motivating factor that made me choose Why marriages succeed or fail: And how you can make yours last by Gottman (1995) as literature of interest. John Mordechai Gottman is an American psychologist specializing in family practice, a developer of unique family counseling software, and one of todays most influential therapists, so his credibility as an author of useful material does not seem questionable (Cole, 2019). One day in my life, I plan to get married, so I wanted to know the key recommendations, perspectives, and tips on how to avoid conflicts that end in divorce. I had heard about this book before and received many positive reviews, so I read it in hopes that I could learn how to build a secure and successful marriage.
The Need for Continuous Improvement
One of the key ideas I took away from reading this book is that in any marriage, the individual must strive for continuous improvement. Gottman (1995) ironically quoted the Second Law of Thermodynamics, which states that in closed energy systems, things tend to run down and get less orderly, the same seems to be true of closed relationships like marriages (p. 61). I found this an interesting comparison for several reasons. First, this parallel shows that in the absence of any change, marriage will eventually lose its former energy, increasing entropy, which will cause the measure of chaos in it to increase. Such chaos risks ending in conflict, quarrels, and divorce, which is not an ideal end to a once happily ever after marriage. Second, Gottman compares marriage to a closed system, as that term is used in thermodynamics. I am not inclined to agree with this entirely because in classical closed systems, there is no exchange of matter and energy with the environment, and in marriage, there is no such thing. People in marriage socialize with friends and relatives, get emotional discharge from different sides, and bring new elements to their marriage. Nevertheless, Gottmans point seems clear: In the absence of positive changes in marriage, such a union of individuals tends to end tragically. Third, I was skeptical of this phrase of the author, not only because of the incomprehensible parallel with the closed system but also as if the position were that the reader (such as myself) is inherently wrong, so it is necessary to improve in order to keep the marriage alive. However, I began to look deeper into this comparison and realized that it discusses a two-way change in the name of a happy marriage. Indeed, perfect marriages, in which people understand each other completely from the beginning, have empathy and unlimited love exist, but they are a minority. As a rule, people conflict in marriages, so working on yourself and contributing positively to your marriage is vital. This is the first lesson I learned from the book, and I will use it in later life when building a serious relationship with the man I potentially want to marry.
The Negative Past
The second knowledge I took away from this book is the need to be honest with myself and my partner throughout all phases of the relationship. In discussing some predictors of divorce, Gottman (1995) points out that negative memories associated with the early stages of a relationship can be a reason to break up a union: People who are feeling distressed more easily remember negative episodes from the past-so your current negativity triggers negative memories that reinforce your current feeling (p. 128). This phrase focuses on the fact that negativity can have a chronic cumulative effect, and when it becomes the cause of divorce, it is simply the culmination of that effect. After I understood this thought, I began thinking about how to avoid the tragedy of marriage associated with negativity. It turns out to be quite simple: you need to share your experiences with your partner and accept your emotions. Some people may not fully recognize what they are feeling or may try to hide their emotions in an attempt not to offend their partner. However, in reality, this is an incorrect strategy that leads to an accumulation of angry feelings. Instead of systematically hiding emotions and trying to take responsibility for maintaining the marriage in this way, emotional intelligence needs to be developed. For the conscious and emotionally mature individual, recognizing emotions is not difficult; once they have been identified, it is necessary to tell the partner how the individual is feeling in the moment. For example, phrases like I am hurting right now, I feel angry, and I am very hurt at you may seem obvious and primitive, but they contain the power of effective communication and trust to share underlying feelings. Moreover, it creates the potential to address the problem instead of silencing it, which means that the partners behaviors are adjusted and account for these changes in the future. Thus, I can become more effective in relationships in the future because I already understand the importance of simple and feeling-based communication.
Pride and Persuasion
From the lesson described in the last section, it is appropriate to discuss the next one, which involves interacting with your partner during quarrels. It should be emphasized that quarrels are a natural part of any relationship; it is a crisis that must be overcome correctly to achieve better future results. However, it is crucial to be wise during quarrels and not succumb to the primal desire to reduce the dialogue to an emotional conflict with no benefit other than emotional chaos. When (1995) discusses another example of dialogue between the couple Max and Anita, he shows an example of the partners low level of awareness. Gottman writes, In essence, volatile couples simply skip the validators first phase of discussing a delicate issue: they dont try to understand and empathize with their partner (p. 40). There are several exciting elements to this thought that I would like to discuss in more detail. First, Gottman uses the word validator, which, as became apparent a few pages earlier, refers to couples who are mutually respectful, somewhat neutral, and supportive of one another. Second, skip the validators first phase in this case refers to the inability to come to mutual understanding through appropriate and wise strategies when people dont try to understand and empathize with their partner. Third, Gottman refers to couples who resort to skipping the validator with the term volatile, meaning the possibility of the rapid change mainly for the worse. Interestingly, the term has to do with physics and means such a characteristic of solvents that evaporate quickly in the air: the psychologist has previously cited physics, and such a parallel seems interesting. The conclusion I have drawn for myself from what has been described is that during arguments and conflicts, whatever they may be, the individual must take responsibility for solving the problem intelligently, and the first step is to hear his partner. One must temporarily put down the emotions and listen to the complaints and grievances the partner is laying out, which will establish the core of the conflict and resolve it more point by point. This approach is challenging to use and requires much self-control, but it is achievable, and the benefits of this tactic, according to Gottman, significantly improve the relationship between partners.
Total Acceptance
Often, I have heard from others the preconception that in a romantic relationship, it is possible to change ones partner to suit ones interests. Usually, in such discussions, the partner acts as a manual machine whose settings can be set by a controller, and depending on the situation, such settings can be adaptive. However, a relationship has no room for the desire to change, modify, or adjust ones partners behavior. Gottman (1995) correctly writes about this when he says that but you get into trouble when you try to recreate one another to fit your own ideals in the chapter on preserving marriage by acknowledging reciprocity (p. 223). Marriage is a union between two people: they have different cultural and family backgrounds, different upbringings, and perhaps dominant philosophies of life, but they came together because they both found such a union attractive. After a while, when the partners blindness to falling in love passes, they begin to notice problems and defects in each other and want to change them. This way is wrong because neither person wants to be coerced, and the pressure causes a natural resistance. This resistance to change tends to lead to the development of the conflict, which in turn can cause divorce. The consequence of meeting such resistance can also be a quiet withdrawal of the partner who initiated the change into himself: they begin to devote more time to work, children, and self, but not to the problems in the marriage. A silent problem with regular condemnations brings a sense of negativity, aggression, and a desire to escape from the marriage. Solving this problem is relatively straightforward: Gottman suggests focusing on the positive elements for which people have come to love each other, spending more time together, and focusing on well-being without wanting to change your partner. It takes work on ones understanding of the nature of the relationship, but it is ultimately rewarding. I find this lesson extremely helpful in building effective relationships, and every time I want to change someone to suit my interests and needs, I will nip such thoughts in the bud and try to figure out the problem.
Recommendation
Myra, I know that you are getting married to someone you have been in a relationship with for about a year in a few months. As a supportive and compassionate friend, I recommend an excellent book for you to read that has dramatically improved my understanding of relationships, family, and divorce. It is the book Why marriages succeed or fail: And how you can make yours last by Gottman, J. (1995). I can see how happy you are in your relationship and do not want you to experience problems in the future, so I recommend you read this; perhaps you might find the reading intriguing and appealing for you to spend a few days on it. Your upcoming wedding is a huge step, and it is sure to change your life for the better, so it is imperative that you take care ahead of time to ensure that any conflict or quarrel that arises in the family household is managed effectively and wisely, and beneficial to the relationship. I want to assure you that this book is not just another piece of popular science fiction; on the contrary, Gottman is one of the prominent psychotherapists of today, and the book is based on decades of research and data, so you can rest assured that it is an authoritative read. In short, this book will be an invaluable resource for wisdom and emotional maturity, and I do not regret spending the time to read it, so I share it with you with great respect and inspiration.
Reference
Cole, D. L. (2019). Gottman, John. In J. L. Lebow, A. L. Chambers, & D. C. Breunlin (Eds.), Encyclopedia of couple and family therapy (pp 13291330). Springer Cham.
Gottman, J. (1995). Why marriages succeed or fail: And how you can make yours last. Simon and Schuster.
