Category: Love

Love is considered a very important aspect in everyone’s life but when asked about it, what would people really be able to say? You can always answer with a dictionary definition but what would that really tell you? The play “Romeo and Juliet” revolves around the topic of love and tells us that love can influence people’s decisions, love cannot be rushed, and love is the most powerful thing in the world.

Firstly, love can influence people’s decisions. Throughout the play, the progress of the plot was due to love motivating people’s decisions. For example, Juliet’s love for Romeo is what causes her to go through with the plan that ultimately leads to their deaths. After Friar Laurence gives her the vial that will help her fake her death, she begins to have doubts. Her doubts are quickly disregarded once she thinks about being with Romeo again. ”Romeo, I come! This do I drink to thee”(4.3, 246). Due to her love for Romeo, she is willing to fake her death and lie in a tomb with her decaying relatives until he saves her, regardless of the fact that the potion may not work or that Romeo may not even come for her. She is even willing to abandon her family and friends for him. Another example is when Romeo kills Tybalt. He evades execution when Prince Escalus is deciding his punishment and he is soon exiled instead because Romeo had killed Mercutio’s murderer. Mercutio is a relative of Prince Escalus so because of this, his final decision is swayed. There are many events in the play where love influences someone’s decision.

Secondly, love cannot be rushed. Love at first sight occurs at the beginning of the play and is already foreshadowing the speed in which Romeo and Juliet’s relationship will take. Romeo is lovesick for Rosaline and is convinced there is no maiden as fair as her. His feelings quickly change once he meets Juliet. He falls head over heels for her and forgets about Rosaline.”I have forgot that name, and that name’s woe”(2.3, 116). This scene shows how people should not rush and profess a love that may not be true. If Romeo and Rosaline were really together, he would have ended up leaving her for Juliet at first sight. Another example of how love cannot be rushed is when Romeo and Juliet immediately decide to get married within 24 hours of meeting each other. When marrying the two, Friar Lawrence says “These violent delights have violent ends”(2.4, 148). If they had taken their time instead of rushing into such major decisions, their story would not have ended in disaster. They could have waited to get to know each other before deciding if they really wanted to get married or they could have even approached their families to find a better outcome. They both wanted to be with each other but did not stop to think more rationally. They did not stop to think about building a strong bond with their significant other. Often when people rush into relationships, they crash and burn, as can be seen with Romeo and Juliet.

Lastly, love is thought to be one of the most powerful things in the world if not the most powerful thing in the world. To some, being in love is the most important thing in their life. When discussing the topic of love, people automatically think of it in a romantic sense. While romance is the focal point of Shakespeare’s play, other forms of love make an appearance as well. Love for family, friends, and oneself are factors that helped the play progress. Hate itself can be sprung from love as well. Love may not be physically powerful like weapons but it holds a more mental power. It can control a person’s actions, feelings, and choices. The conclusion to Shakespeare’s play was due to Lord Capulet and Lord Montague’s love for their children. After realising that their feud was the cause of their children’s deaths, they put an end to it. Their love for their children causes them to end a feud that has been going on for generations. A death that is less pronounced in the play is Lady Montague’s. Once Romeo is banished, Lady Montague falls into grief for her only child has been exiled. When Lord Montague comes to the tomb upon Prince Escalus’ call, he says “My wife is dead to-night; Grief of my son’s exile hath stopp’d her breath”(5.3, 296). Her love for Romeo causes her to pass away. Throughout the play, love has had the power to kill and mend at the same time.

Looking back on the events that have occurred throughout the play, people can learn a lot about the topic of love. Romeo and Juliet’s story can tell us that love can influence people’s decisions, love cannot be rushed, and love is the most powerful thing in the world. Shakespeares’s play can teach people many lessons, not just about love, which is one of the reasons why this play is so well known hundreds of years later.

Do you know what love is? Have you experienced the great thing called love? When we hear the word ‘relationship’, the ideas that come to our mind are friendship, sexual attraction, intellectual compatibility, and of course, love. I believed that love could be the glue that keeps a relationship strong and solid. It could bind the emotions that start and maintain the relationships that have made a society out of individuals.

When I was a child, I thought that love is always perfect, like in fairy tales. I thought that entering a relationship could always be happy and is all about love and romance, when we experience the cycle of our world slows down, the birds sing, our dark world will suddenly light up, and our heart beats faster as a racing train, and beats loudly like thunder, then automatically that’s true love. I have always thought of an ideal relationship in that a couple should always be holding their hands, walking arm in arm, putting the foot gently on top of the partner’s foot under the table, and sleeping in each other’s arms. Furthermore, I thought that when we see our loved ones, we could capture the moment they smile and that their eyes are gazing into ours in slow motion. We could smell the fragrance and aroma of the flowers that the wind brings on. We could hear the birds singing. And I thought that love fills the mouth with vanilla orange, sweet and warm, yet bright, vibrant, and tangy.

But as I grow up, I woke up to the truth and reality and realized that love is not like a fairy tale. Believing that love is an attraction to perfection and virtue, and accomplishment is the feeling of fancy sensation of love. Yes, love is joy and hope, excitement, trust, and security, but sometimes sadness and disappointment. Love in a relationship is like a roller coaster, there are ups and downs in it. So, we should be ready to cry, ready to hurt, and ready to sacrifice all. Love is not just admiration for strength, it is also tolerance for weakness and recognition of ambivalence. Love is not all about happiness, romance, and perfectness. What if the happiness and romance will be faded in a meantime? Does it mean that love is also gone? What if we couldn’t find the perfect relationship? Does it mean that love is not there? It is also about open communication, mutual respect, kindness, patience, and mutual understanding. In real life relationship, love could be like coffee, bitter, sweet, could be hot, or could be cold, but some things about it never change, it lifts you up, gives you warmth and comfort, and brings out the best in you.

In conclusion, love is the main instrument that people are attached to as glue causes the paper binds together. When we want to enter a relationship, let’s go with a healthy relationship with patience, kindness, mutual respect, and understanding, based on reality, not on fantasy.

Because the way to win my heart is through music, I realized that there is a song for each of my relationships. Songs can describe my life, especially my love life, best, so I want to share some below.

“When it comes to you/ Don’t be blind/ Watch me speak from my heart/ When it comes to you/ Comes to you”, sing David Guetta and Justin Bieber in their ‘2U’. This relationship was my first real crush and the one that probably hit me the hardest back when it was happening. I met a guy who was absolutely spontaneous and was just a fun person to be around. We became friends quickly and just bonded over several things. I remember the day he found out that I listen to the exact same music as him, he was practically overjoyed. He showed me this song while we were bouncing off some song suggestions and insisted it was a great song. I had no idea how much I was in love with him until I listened to the song and instantly just felt a rush of emotions. I had no idea how much I was in love with him until I listened to the song and instantly just felt a rush of emotions. It’s been four years and he still has no idea how much I liked him in the past. We still share music from time to time, and I’ll always be grateful for the amount of growth he inspired me to initiate.

Next up will be the song ‘Death of a Bachelor’ by Panic! at the Disco. “A lifetime of laughter/ At the expense of the death of a bachelor”. This would be my first love. It was around Valentine’s Day when we first met, and there were tons of complications. We got along and became close very quickly, and even quicker became good friends. He got asked out on the fourteenth, and out of pity, set me up with his best friend. We both realized that we were interested in each other and not in the people we were essentially set up with. He asked me out on the twentieth of that month, and that was how I got my first boyfriend. We had no idea what we were doing since it was his first relationship as well, but we had a blast. I remember when I brought up this song and he freaked out because it was his favorite song at the time. After several more issues, we ended up splitting after three months. We’re now really good friends and still talk to this day, but I have to credit him for opening up and teaching me to take the shot while I have it.

“I know that my schedule is fucked up/ But, baby, you know you’re the same/ And that’s why/ I think we’re a hit” (‘Schedules’ by Sigrid). I met a guy after he commented on one of my posts. It was summer time and time was on our side. Apparently, we had the same sense of humor, so this led to us getting along pretty well. Things started rolling, and we ended up talking non-stop, whether it was random stuff or getting into deep conversations, night or day. Although we had a nine-hour time difference, it felt as if we were closer than most people in my life at the time. After a subtle push to the friend zone (since I was kinda scared to get back into a relationship), I could tell he started to push away. We still talked, but a bit more sparsely. One day he said that he was writing a poem about his crush, which ended up being about me. A couple of cheesy moments later we were a couple, which would have to be the most romantic relationship I’ve ever experienced. I remember when he showed me Sigrid and I instantly fell in love with her music. This includes ‘Schedules’, which we both thought represented our relationship pretty well. However, time started to become an issue, and eventually, we had to break it off due to the time difference. The breakup was pretty rough, but eventually, we got over it and became friends again. I thank him for helping me know what I want and for helping me be a better person.

And the final will be the song ‘Morning’ by Marc E. Bassy. This song decision was probably the hardest with this one since he sends me songs constantly. This relationship is with my current boyfriend, and my longest relationship by far. It all started with seeing him around Amino and greeting him every time he entered a group chat. Then, when I created my own group chat to give advice, he was there to help others as well. We started talking finally after I had asked for advice about a certain situation. He was there for me through it all, but the biggest thing he did was make me feel human. Weird, I know, but he brought me down to earth and wasn’t afraid to speak his mind. I admired his honesty and slowly became more and more interested in who he was. We talked practically every day, and at 1 a.m. on Halloween, he straight up told me how he felt about me. I gave him a couple of weeks to confirm that it was me that he wanted, and his mind didn’t change. We enjoyed several conversations where we just got to know each other and spilled everything about ourselves. Whenever there was something that concerned either of us, we were real with each other and worked hard to change it. Respect and love were in the spotlight of this relationship, and he continues to make me a better person. When he sent me this song, I knew that I’d be there for him, and he’d be there for me. Bleh, gross emotions, I know. But that’s what I truly felt. I didn’t know what a real committed relationship was until I met him. We still have a long way to go, but I know for sure that this is love.

So these are the songs that best describe my love life. They, like all my relationships, hold a special place in my heart and my memories, and will always be there.

Every day, we hear the term ‘love’ in several different situations. So, what really is love? According to Shakespeare, in Sonnet 116, the first quatrain describes love as an unchangeable force in the lines “Love is not love/ Which alters when it alteration finds,/ Or bends with the remover to remove:/ O no! it is an ever-fixed mark”. Shakespeare enforces the fact that true love always perseveres, no matter what it’s up against by using the metaphor, “That looks on tempests and is never shaken” in the second quatrain. In the third quatrain, he asserts that love doesn’t care for outer beauty that fades with time, because true love goes beyond such boundaries. So, it’s a tale as old as time – everyone has always described love as an emotion that can completely change one’s life and happiness. This leads to the question: is love worth fighting for?

Scott Fitzgerald’s ‘The Great Gatsby’ inspired my question. ‘The Great Gatsby’ is a novel, filled with romance and drama, exploring the decadence of the roaring 20s, featuring Jay Gatsby and his rags-to-riches journey for the sake of the love of his life, Daisy Buchanan. Gatsby was training to be a military officer when he met Daisy. He adored her beauty, grace, and luxury and fell in love when he first met her, so he fabricates his past to prove he was good enough for her. Although she loves Gatsby, she ends up marrying Tom Buchanan because she believed he can make her happy with his money; he was a Yale graduate who came from a family of old money. ‘Old money’ families were those that have been building their fortunes since the 19th century leading to powerful and influential social connections. Tom had everything Gatsby needed. However, her marriage didn’t stop him – Gatsby was so dedicated to winning Daisy back that he was willing to earn money through organized crime such as bootlegging and trading stolen securities. He put his freedom at risk for Daisy.

Eventually, he’s a millionaire with a sumptuous mansion in West Egg. West Egg symbolized new money competing against old money that took Daisy away from him. Across the mansion, Gatsby could see Tom and Daisy’s house in East Egg, which again symbolized old money. He earned all the money possible, but he couldn’t buy his way into old money – it was a birthright. Although the social class was a gigantic obstacle, it couldn’t stop him. Every weekend, Gatsby hosted opulent parties at his mansion inviting hundreds of people. His guests are in awe of his Rolls-Royce, enormous pool, and a generous supply of alcohol, but none of them know who Gatsby is, and it doesn’t seem to bother him, because all he cares about is whether Daisy notices his ostentatiously lavish parties.

Through both his actions and words, it is evident Gatsby cherishes Daisy. However, the same cannot be said for her. When they reunite, it is indefinite if she loves Gatsby or his wealth. For instance, as Gatsby shows off her luxurious mansion to her, she breaks down when she sees his enormous wardrobe full of opulent brands and says, “It makes me sad because I’ve never seen such beautiful shirts before”, portraying her materialism. Later in the book, her materialism is highlighted when she’s unable to choose between Gatsby and Tom.

Irrespective of Daisy’s confusion, Gatsby’s love for her stays strong. Daisy is driving his car back from the Plaza Hotel, after rejecting Gatsby, when Myrtle runs onto the road in front of the car. Daisy is so upset that she doesn’t notice what’s in front of her and hits Myrtle, Tom Buchanan’s mistress, on the highway. This incident proves Gatsby’s commitment to Daisy because he immediately says he’ll take the blame for Myrtle’s death to protect Daisy. In fact, he does take the blame for her when he is killed by Myrtle’s husband who believes it was Gatsby’s fault. Therefore, Gatsby yearningly built his whole life around her. He sacrificed everything for her, but she didn’t take responsibility for her actions, even after Gatsby’s death. His life ended in vain, as she continued living her pretentious and luxurious life with Tom. His love was not worth the risk.

A contrary explanation is William Shakespeare’s tale of forbidden love – ‘Romeo and Juliet’. Their story is perhaps one of the most famous – one that some crave. Their commitment to each other has no boundaries, just as described in Sonnet 116. Their rebellion against their families proves their determination to preserve their love, at all costs. In the play, Juliet fakes her death so she can run away with Romeo. However, Romeo thinks she’s actually dead because he doesn’t receive her message, and in response kills himself using poison. When Juliet sees Romeo dead beside her, she tries to kiss his lips so she’s poisoned by the same poison as him, but it doesn’t work, so she stabs herself with the help of his dagger. This is a perfect example of fighting for true love, no matter how hard it gets.

Throughout the play, it is asserted that they would rather not be alive if they are not together. In Act 4, Scene 3, Juliet hesitates for a second to take the sleep potion because she’s worried that it might be real poison. She understands and is terrified by the horrors and pain of death, expressed through the line: “The horrible conceit of death and night,/ Together with the terror of the place—/ As in a vault, an ancient receptacle/ Where, for these many hundred years the bones/ Of all my buried ancestors are packed:/ Where bloody Tybalt, yet but green in earth,/ Lies festering in his shroud; where, as they say,/ At some hours in the night spirits resort—/ Alack, alack, is it not like that I,/ So early waking, what with loathsome smells,/ And shrieks like mandrakes’ torn out of the earth,/ That living mortals, hearing them, run mad”. She pictures gruesome corpses, including her cousin Tybalt, surrounding her. Her choice of words ‘horrible’, ‘terror’, ‘loathsome smells’, and ‘run mad’ undeniably portray the level of fear she is feeling. Furthermore, she uses the simile ‘shrieks like mandrakes’ which emphasizes her distress, because a mandrake was believed to be a poisonous plant that shrieked when pulled from the ground, and the sound of the shriek could lead to death or madness. However, she gathers her courage and drinks the potion because a world without Romeo is a world not worth living in for her. Moreover, in the end, when she takes her life, she does not hesitate the way she did when taking the sleeping potion, this proves how much she loves Romeo.

Nonetheless, their love changed their morals, value, and loyalties. It turned into a violent emotion that led to nothing but mayhem. So, no matter how much they treasured each other, their love ended their lives. An individual who wasn’t a part of their journey may believe that their love wasn’t worth it, because what is more significant than life itself?

According to ‘Romeo and Juliet’, it was worth it because nothing they valued each other more than they valued themselves as individuals. In Act 5, Scene 3, Romeo believes death to be a chance at love because it was the only way for him to be with Juliet forever. Furthermore, on a large scale, their love solved a feud between the Montagues and the Capulets and brought peace to the city of Verona. Therefore, it may have been imperfect, but Romeo and Juliet believed in their love and fought for it, which made it worth the sacrifices.

In 2014, 38% of marriages in the United States of America ended in divorce. So, are people that were once in love falling out of love and ending their marriages? Or are they simply unwilling to fight for their love anymore? Three of the most common reasons for a divorce are lack of intimacy, constant arguing, and lack of communication. These are all causes that can be dealt with by putting in effort and time. Nonetheless, according to statistics, these divorcees disagree and do not believe their love was worth fighting for anymore. Although, traditional marriage counseling has a success rate of 70 to 80%. This proves that the couples that believed in each other and worked hard to get through their problems for their love are now together and happy. Moreover, some couples have been together until the very end– this does not mean they had it easy, it means they overcame their obstacles.

This leads to the question – when couples overcome infidelity or lack of intimacy, are they truly happy or are they settling? For example, if a couple has been together for over 10 years and their ‘spark’ has faded but they’re still together – are they together because they believe they have to be? I believe the spark fades because they get into a rut. They’re no longer putting in effort in the little things like romantic date nights or trying to impress each other. Instead, they lose their emotional connection because they may be living together but they’re no longer emotionally connected. However, this is not always true, several couples stay happily married and still enjoy the little things together – saying ‘I love you’, appreciating each other, and remembering important dates. They still have everyday life things to do, such as chores, going to work, and sending the kids to school, but this doesn’t mean they don’t enjoy each other’s company or support while doing it.

Everyone has a couple in their lives that has been together forever, or they just simply adore the couple. For me, it’s my grandparents – I idolize them. They may not have great dramatized love, but when they’re together, they’re happy. It’s been 47 years, so they’ve had their fair share of problems. Once, I asked them if they’d change anything, and both of them said they wouldn’t have it any other way because their struggles added to both their characters as individuals and their relationship – it brought them closer together and it proved they can always trust each other.

The depth of a couple’s love, their determination, and the severity of their problems drastically affect the question as no couple is the same – everyone has a different kind of love and a different set of problems. As well as not everyone may believe the same thing due to their own set of beliefs and values. Let’s consider Romeo and Juliet, their love didn’t make sense to the outside world so they believe it wasn’t worth it. Love doesn’t always have a fairytale ending, but that’s okay because nothing in this world is perfect. Sometimes, however, it may be beyond repair because you don’t care for them or don’t trust them anymore.

But, if you’re ready to put in work or fight against all odds for your love and happiness, it is worth it. If you truly love someone and care for them, why would you ever stop fighting for them? Fighting for your love proves that it’s important to you and impacts your happiness. Therefore, I believe love is real when you don’t give up, even though it’s not easy. The problem arises when you’re not fighting for your love anymore because then you don’t want it bad enough. Therefore, I think love is something worth fighting for as long as you believe in it.

Poetic and lyrical compositions often employ the use of a variety of techniques to communicate their core themes and messages to the audience. In this case, the pastoral poem of ‘The Passionate Shepherd to His Love’ by Christopher Marlowe holds a close correlation to a contemporary song by Billy Joel named ‘Only the Good Die Young’, where both of the pieces revolve around love and affection in which the authors profess romantic ideals to their beloved. In particular, the song and the poem hold distinctive similarities in both the theme and literary device throughout the works, while differentiating enormously in the style of love persuasion.

To begin with, the two compositions are predominantly professions of love from men to their beloved women. In ‘The Passionate Shepherd to His Love’, Marlowe urges his lover to elope with him so that they can enjoy the pleasures of life. He writes: “Come live with me, and be my love,/ And we will all the pleasures prove” (Marlowe, 1-2). Likewise, Joel persuades his secret girlfriend, Virginia, to run away with him to partake in the pleasantries of the world. The singer affirms: “Come out Virginia, don’t let me wait,/ You Catholic girls start too late” (Joel, 1-2). In the first stanza of both the poem and song, a sense of urgency is detected in which the two composers cannot seem to be patient in waiting for their lovers’ arrival. More specifically, the first two lines in the poem and song depict this immediacy in which they sway the women to ‘hurry up’ and meet with them.

In light of this, Marlowe’s and Joel’s compositions can be described as ‘carpe diem’ literary devices due to their insistence on living in the present. The two authors seem nonchalant about the future and instead remain obsessed with enjoying life at the moment that bestirs them in the pursuit of erotic love and carnal pleasures. In the poem, the narrator asserts: “And I will make thee beds of roses/ And a thousand fragrant posies” (Marlowe, 9-10), likewise Joel’s contemporary song lays emphasis on enjoying the bodily desires when she urges Virginia to forget her ‘curtain of virginity’ for the moment. He tells her: “I’d rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints,/ The sinners are much more fun,/ You know that only the good die young” (Joel, 35-37). Through this confession, it is obvious that Joel cannot wait to consummate his union with his long-time lover.

Despite these similarities, the poem and the song differ slightly in the way they conveyed the persuasive message of erotic love. In the poem, Marlowe persuades the woman by mainly focusing on the vivid romantic imageries and love scenery in a dreamy and romantic tone, which is shown in quotes such as “A gown made of finest wool/ Then live with me, and be my love” (Marlowe, 13-24). In the song, however, Joel brings in the religious affiliation and the role of tradition played in one’s love life. It presents a sense of rebelliousness in the romance, such as “Well your mother told you all that I could give you was a reputation/ You Catholic girls start much too late” (Joel, 41-45). Despite these variations, ‘The Passionate Shepherd to His Love’ and ‘Only the Good Die Young’ emerge as exemplary literary pieces reiterating the importance of love and relationships.

Works Cited

1. Marlowe, Christopher. ‘The Passionate Shepherd to His Love’. Literature: Grade 12, edited by Janet Allen et. al., Holt McDougal, 2012, p. 314.
2. Joel, Billy Martin. ‘Only the Good Die Young’. Genius Lyrics, http://genius.com/billy-joel-only-the-good-die-young-lyrics Accessed 11 Nov. 2019.

Morrie is a very adorable school teacher who—in his late sixties—discovers that he is passing on. The narrative of his most recent couple of weeks on earth is told by Mitch, one of Morrie’s previous understudies, who happens to catch him amid his last days. Those are the stripped down, however at this point how about we expound a bit? In the start of the story, we get a short prologue to Mitch and Morrie amid Mitch’s school graduation service. Mitch Albom is a youthful person, simply beginning his grown-up life, and Morrie Schwartz, he lets us know, is his most loved teacher. The inclination is by all accounts common, as Morrie gives Mitch an embrace and mournfully bids a fond farewell.

Quick forward to years after the fact: Morrie has contracted ALS, otherwise called Lou Gehrig’s illness. It devastates his muscles, making him more fragile and more fragile until his lungs can never again bolster him and he bites the dust. He and his better half plan for this new life. How? Morrie will not quit. Rather, he begins opening up his home to guests, contacting everybody he knows. Then, Mitch has been living sort of an unremarkable life. Honestly, by unremarkable we don’t imply that he hasn’t gone to graduate school (he has), nor that he hasn’t been buckling down and profiting (because he’s done both of these things too). Nope, we mean he isn’t cheerful. Rather he’s an obsessive worker who doesn’t possess energy for his better half.

Fortunately for Mitch, however, he happens to go over his old teacher being met by Nightline on ABC. Mitch visits Morrie on the first of numerous Tuesdays. At first, he’s somewhat shocked by how fragile Morrie is and stresses that he’s settled on the wrong choice by visiting, however, that dread starts to soften before long. They end up talking for a considerable length of time, as though no time has gone among them, and Morrie can persuade Mitch to return and visit one week from now. Thus it starts. This last class (in a manner of speaking) comprises discourses about vital things: fellowship, love, misfortune, passing, etc. As the weeks pass, Morrie’s body becomes flimsier, however, he battles each day to remain constructive for his loved ones. As Mitch watches his companion endure, his own heart gets more grounded. He considers the things around him and begins contacting help deal with Morrie with the end goal of demonstrating his worry.

At long last, on their fourteenth Tuesday, they need to bid a fond farewell. Morrie can scarcely talk and raises his hand to give Mitch an embrace. It’s a lamentable goodbye, and we exceptionally recommend you have a tissue or two close by when you achieve this point. Morrie passes away a couple of days after the fact. To wrap up, Mitch gives us his decision. It’s a sort of review of his ‘last class’ with Morrie. His heart overflows with appreciation for what Morrie accomplished for him, and thinking back, he just has one lament: that he didn’t contact Morrie prior. On the off chance that he had, they may have had more Tuesdays together.

Emma Goldman: An Introduction to Her Life and Ideals

Native Lithuanian Emma Goldman was born on June 27, 1869. She immigrated to the United States in 1885, where she worked in clothing factories. It was in that setting that she came in contact with anarchist beliefs. A fiery speaker, she was jailed for inciting riots and advocating birth control. Goldman spoke often and widely, not only on anarchism and social problems but also on the contemporary dramatic works of Henrik Ibsen, August Strindberg, George Bernard Shaw, and others. She was instrumental in introducing the American audience to many European playwrights, and her lectures on their work were published in 1914 as ‘The Social Significance of the Modern Drama’. She also lectured on ‘free love’, by which she meant an uncoerced attachment between two persons for whom conventions of law and church were irrelevant, and she was jailed briefly in 1916 for speaking out on birth control. During her life, Goldman was lionized as a freethinking ‘rebel woman’ by admirers and denounced by detractors as an advocate of politically motivated murder and violent revolution. Her writing and lectures spanned a wide variety of issues, including prisons, atheism, freedom of speech, militarism, capitalism, marriage, free love, and homosexuality. Although she distanced herself from first-wave feminism and its efforts toward women’s suffrage, she developed new ways of incorporating gender politics into anarchism. After decades of obscurity, Goldman gained iconic status in the 1970s by a revival of interest in her life, when feminist and anarchist scholars rekindled popular interest. Her views on feminism do not change in the essay ‘Marriage and love’.

Dissecting the Institution of Marriage: Goldman’s Critique

In her essay ‘Marriage and Love’, Emma Goldman dismisses marriage as an institution that limits the love and reinforces: “The popular notion about marriage and love is that they are synonymous, that they spring from the same motives, and cover the same human needs. Like most popular notions this also rests not on facts, but superstition. Marriage and love have nothing in common; they are as far apart as the poles; are, in fact, antagonistic to each other”. Emma Goldman illustrates how far apart love and marriage are by comparing them to the earth opposing axis. The main themes that are apparent in this essay are marriage, love, women’s liberation, feminism and the socialized institution of marriage by State and Church.

Emma Goldman describes marriage as a facade orchestrated for the sake of public consumption: “There are today large numbers of men and women to whom marriage is naught but a farce, but who submit to it for the sake of public opinion”. She argues that “at any rate, while it is true that some marriages are based on love, and while it is equally true that in some cases love continues in married life”. This conflict of self and the environment evolves throughout the entire essay. She compares love and marriage as two opposing sides by stating that love does not result in marriage and that if a married couple does end up falling in love after marriage on close examination it will be found that it is a mere adjustment to the inevitable. That proved to be demeaning for both men and women.

The Economic Underpinnings of Marriage According to Goldman

One might argue that Emma Goldman’s views are bleak and dispiriting, but the period in time in which this essay was written women either had limited rights or none at all. “Marriage is primarily an economic arrangement, an insurance pact”. She states that the returns of marriage are “…insignificantly small compared with the investments”, she states that the woman pays for it with her very life “…until death doth part.”. Emma Goldman characterizes a woman in marriage as a parasite because her whole dependency is tied to her being completely useless as an individual as well as a social being. Even though women pay a lot just to be in marriage Goldman emphasis that the man pays too: “Pays his toll, but as his sphere is wider, marriage does not limit him as much as a woman. He feels his chains more in an economic sense”.

Marriage as a Social Construct: Goldman’s Analysis

Goldman persuades the reader even more on her views of marriage when she equates it to Dante’s motto over Inferno. This motto, inscribed on Hell’s front door in Dante Alighieri’s, Goldman equates marriage to Hell and Purgatory giving it a sense of hopelessness. Further examination suggests that Goldman is Dante looking at marriage as hell laying witness to the suffering and repugnance and pity of the souls that enter into marriage while hornets bite them (social pressure to get married). Goldman ends her views on marriage stating that marriage is a failure and the divorce statistics proved her right.

Women’s Liberation and Sexual Freedom: Goldman’s Advocacy

Through Goldman’s views, the reader is educated on the women’s liberation movement. The term ‘women’s liberation’ was created as a parallel to other liberation and freedom movements of the time. The root of the idea was a rebellion against colonial powers or a repressive national government to win independence for a national group and to end oppression. Goldman advocated for women to have sexual freedom, talk openly about sex. Goldman viewed sexual oppression as distasteful and disgraceful because from infancy the average girl is told marriage is her ultimate goal, therefore her training and education must be directed towards that end. Like the mute beast fattened for slaughter, she is prepared for that. Yet, strange to say, she is allowed to know much less about her function as wife and mother than the ordinary artisan of his trade. Goldman describes the preparation of marriage as shedding of individualism and that in turn invokes self-emancipation that suppressed the woman’s righteous stance on sexual freedom: “The prospective wife and mother are kept in complete ignorance of her only asset in the competitive field—sex. Thus, she enters into life-long relations with a man only to find herself shocked, repelled, outraged beyond measure by the most natural and healthy instinct, sex. It is safe to say that a large percentage of the unhappiness, misery, distress, and physical suffering of matrimony is due to the criminal ignorance in sex matters that is being extolled as a great virtue. Nor is it at all an exaggeration when I say that more than one home has been broken up because of this deplorable fact”. Goldman correlates this self-emancipation to equate to unhappiness that results in divorce. The author states however that if a woman is “…free and big enough to learn the mystery of sex without the sanction of State or Church”, she will be besmeared, “… shamed and unfit to become the wife of a good man…”. Goldman describes a good man as “…consisting of an empty brain and plenty of money”. Goldman illustrates the absurdity of such an arrangement using sarcasm: “…How can such an arrangement end except in failure? This is one, though not the least important, a factor of marriage, which differentiates it from love”.

Goldman gives examples of tales of women who leaped for their freedom without permission and were meant with excruciating consequences: “If on rare occasions, young people allow themselves the luxury of romance, they are taken in care by the elders, drilled and pounded until they become ‘sensible’, as a way to instill morals’. Goldman describes how a girl’s morals are shifted from the pursuit of happiness and individualism that feeds the soul to the concern of whether or not they are marrying a rich enough man: “The moral lesson instilled in the girl is not whether the man has aroused her love, but rather is it, ‘How much?’. The important and only God of practical American life. Can the man make a living? Can he support a wife? That is the only thing that justifies marriage. Her dreams are not of moonlight and kisses, of laughter and tears; she dreams of shopping tours and bargain counters. This soul poverty and sordidness are the elements inherent in the marriage institution. The State and the Church approve of no other ideal, simply because it is the one that necessitates the State and Church control of men and women”.

Goldman describes marriage as an entity that has power but can never be willed it against a person’s consciousness: “Marriage may have the power to bring the horse to water, but has it ever made him drink?”. Emma Goldman describes marriage as a curse and parasitic institution that insults life and degrades human experiences: “Therein lies the curse of marriage. Not that it protects her, but the very idea is so revolting, such an outrage and insult on life, so degrading to human dignity, as to forever condemn this parasitic institution”.

Goldman emphasizes that marriage is like capitalism, it robs a man of his birthright and stunts his growth, punishing him for his existence whilst providing him with ignorance for his pending existential crisis. Goldman emphasizes how marriage makes a woman a parasite by making her completely dependent on it, because it controls her virtue for living and existing: “The institution of marriage makes a parasite of woman, an absolute dependent. It incapacitates her for life’s struggle, annihilates her social consciousness, paralyzes her imagination, and then imposes its gracious protection, which is, in reality, a snare, a travesty on human character”.

Goldman states that “If motherhood is the highest fulfillment of woman’s nature, what other protection does it need, save love and freedom? Marriage but defiles, outrages, and corrupts her fulfillment. Does it not say to woman, only when you follow me shall you bring forth life? Does it not condemn her to the block, does it not degrade and shame her if she refuses to buy her right to motherhood by selling herself… Yet, if motherhood is of free choice, of love, of ecstasy, of defiant passion, does it not place a crown of thorns upon an innocent head and carve in letters of blood the hideous epithet, ‘bastard’? Were marriage to contain all the virtues claimed for it, its crimes against motherhood would exclude it forever from the realm of love”. Encapsulating that women birth the people that put these social prisons in place, that even though they put love and freedom into the bodies that they birth the same bodies end up imprisoning them in the same virtues they are tired of living in.

Goldman states however that even though these injustices prevail love remains the only element unaffected by this plight of hideousness. Love the “harbinger of hope, of joy, of ecstasy; love, the defier of all laws, of all conventions; love, the freest, the most powerful molder of human destiny; love remains unhinged by the rules enforced by State and Church”.

Goldman explains how man has accomplished greats triumphs but has failed to conquer or even encapsulate love for their own will: “Man has bought brains, but all the millions in the world have failed to buy love. Man has subdued bodies, but all the power on earth has been unable to subdue love. Man has conquered whole nations, but all his armies could not conquer love. Because love is free it dwells in no other atmosphere. In freedom, it gives itself unreservedly, abundantly, completely. All the laws on the statutes, all the courts in the universe, cannot tear it from the soil, once love has taken root, love can’t be owned it is earned”.

Goldman educates the reader on the social climate women in that era lived in how it was supposed to change. Using the evidence from the text the current climate induces the second feminist revolution, because women are still held as second class citizens and even the way they express themselves is judged and ridiculed , one may notice that the female revolution might have changed over the last decades from Goldman’s era , but the principles of self-emancipation, feminism, marriage, and love still hold precedence when it concerns the freedom women are allowed to have and the income or capital they provide for themselves.

Conclusion: Reevaluating Love and Marriage in the Light of Goldman’s Thoughts

In conclusion, Goldman persuades and educates the reader about the absurdity of marriage in correlation with love and how the two are antagonistic to each other, she states that very few marriages are brought on by love, and most marriages are brought on by the necessity to build capital using marriage and appease societal standards of what a woman was created for. Goldman’s viewpoints are inspired by feminism and the women’s liberation because women were fighting for equal rights that allowed them an individual standing point that meant they didn’t need to sacrifice their souls and lives for the mere right to exist. Goldman describes the socialized institution of marriage as a disruption for women to not stand up for themselves but rather to shed their true selves to appease men and the gender norm they currently lived in. Goldman’s principles express an enlightened view of women’s lives. The essay ‘Marriage and Love’ still holds up in this day and age, under the second-wave feminism that is still fighting for the freedom of women and the dismantling the current structures that allow this emancipation to continue.

Love is a strong emotion that is innate in all human beings. People tend to fall in love at various times in their lives with different people. There are several factors that act as triggers to spark love emotion between people. These include; proximity to each other, desirable characters, and also the values that are shared between them. Each contact adds to the development of the relationship of the people sharing it. It is said that continuous exposure to a person enhances their attractiveness.

Proximity

People that have activities that make them stay close to each other or even those that stay and work together can easily fall in love. Distance is an important factor in sparking the desire for love in human beings. This is mainly because of the regular contact established between the people sharing spaces. Constant contact reinforces the bond between people that are around each other on a regular basis.

Love establishes itself between them through this bond (Bagley, 2013). People staying apart can also be capable of loving each other, especially in this era. This is because of the communication and transportation advancements that have been enabled by the immense growth of technology. People can make regular personal contacts through fast travel means when far away and also use numerous communication platforms for sharing their experiences and catching up.

Desirable Characteristics

People are attracted to different things in a person. Certain characteristics can draw a person to the other. Men have a set of desirable characteristics in women and women also have the same on men. This is a natural tendency aimed at increasing the mating chances among people thus ensuring the continuity of humanity. It is however important to note that love can occur between women as well as it can between men. Some of the common desirable qualities in both genders are; symmetrical physique, ideal personal presentation, kind, loving, purposed and

Shared Values and Interests

People tend to have a particular set of values and interests in their lives. These might be the reason for attraction between people sharing similar values or interests. Being drawn to a person is the first step toward establishing love between people (Brogaard, 2017). People that share interests have a higher chance of sharing similar experiences that increase their attraction toward each other. These might be things such as traveling, cooking, reviewing restaurants, or even certain social, political, and religious inclinations among the involved people.

Acquisition of Love

Naturally with Time

The acquisition of love naturally as it develops with time is one of the most common methods that lead to people sharing love. This occurs as a natural attraction towards the other and it develops into deep feelings. Love is an innate feeling that occurs in various stages of a person’s life under the right set of triggers. Love is an emotion that takes time to develop by nurturing it with several acts.

Planned Arrangements

Love can be acquired through planned arrangements. There are several cases of love that have been nurtured from planned arrangements between people. In some societies, people are assisted in acquiring love in a selected person by arranging their meeting and this helps in establishing contact between them which helps in setting the momentum for love between them (Bagley, 2013). In this type of love acquisition, the participants involved in the process usually conduct a background check for the pair to ensure the suitability of their match and increase the chances of love between them.

Sharing of Experiences

One of the most common and effective methods of love development among human beings is the sharing of particular experiences. Shared experiences form one of the most solid bases for the development of a love relationship among people. For example, it is common to get people of the same profession or working in any other similar environment to fall in love. This is because of the constant engagement created by the sharing of experiences and the warmth that comes from the familiarity that comes with it.

Mutual Love

The question of whether love should be mutual has been raised on different platforms. There are diverse viewpoints in regard to the topic of love and mutuality among people. Love is a strong emotion shared between people. Mutual love refers to love that is felt and reciprocated in a similar way between people who are in love (Brogaard, 2017). Love does not have to be mutual to be true and genuine between people sharing it. In some instances, the person supposed to receive the love being offered by the other fails to reciprocate the gestures extended to them.

For love to bloom and be shared between two people, there must be offering and acceptance of the affection. This ensures that the parties that give and receive love enjoy the fulfillment of sharing the strong emotion within them with another human being. Human beings differ from other animals due to their emotions which animals lack. In some relationships, the mutuality of love or the lack of it does not affect a thing. This is especially so in relationships that are not based on romance or sexual attraction.

References

1. Bagley, N. (2013). Love is an Acquired Taste. The Loveumentary. Retrieved from, https://loveumentary.com/blog/love-is-an-acquired-taste
2. Brogaard, B. (2017). The 11 Reasons We Fall in Love. Psychology Today. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-mysteries-love/201701/the-11-reasons-we-fall-in-love

All of us have experienced love already. But on defining the term ‘love’ we have our own different perspective to discuss with. Love is something complicated, hard to explain and more complex to understand. It is something magical that could be the source of your happiness and could be also the source of your pain.

So how can we really define what is love? And based on our experiences is there such thing as true love? We could say that love is everywhere, every single person have they so called ‘love’ and this is the reason why the true meaning of love and loving one another is hard to define. They simply define love based on the physical attributes of the person. They say they were in love because he/she provides all the material things he/she needs. He/she makes them happy and they see their future together and soon they will have their own family. They will promise to each other that they will not do a thing that might be reason for them to separate.

The problem in this generation is young as thirteen years old are already in a relationship, so when they broke up, they are ending defining love as only an ordinary play they do at school for their projects. And as they get older the pain they have experienced is still in their hearts. So, this is to say that the word love is the most abuse word. Many people including the youth like us don’t take this word seriously. We often say “I love you” to the person whom we want to express our love. But the question is how true this love for the other person is. True love means sacrifice, offering thy self to save others and bring them in a good condition without wounds or any pain. Just like what Jesus did to save as from our sins. He suffered a lot of pain, had many wounds and he died on the cross for our salvation.

What is the real meaning of love? Each person has their own definition love and because of this many have always misunderstood this word. Love is something you cannot have when you just wanted it, it comes naturally. It comes unexpectedly and mysteriously. Sometimes, it will take a long time before you find your love partner. Love is not a game which when you had it first you are the winner. In love, it doesn’t matter how long it will take to find your love partner, what it is more important that he/she value you. When this happens, we can finally say that you are in love. But not having a mutual feeling or mutual relationship doesn’t mean you do not longer feel love for someone. Love has many kinds. You can love someone who doesn’t love you back, when you take this in a longer time, we can say that you are truly in love. Love also doesn’t mean you have to be in a romantic relationship. We can define love with our parents tenderly care for us. Since we were young and not yet born in this world, our parents gave us their full love to us. Until now, we can feel how much our parents love us. We can receive love everywhere, not all will show love but look more precisely and you will see love.

In the other hand, to be able to love means one should be able to love and make him or herself valuable as a gift of self to others. This is what happened when you are in a romantic relationship. When you give and take the relationship is healthy, it becomes fruitful and creative. This is because saying some sweet words can boost your mood and with this, we can feel how special are we in that particular person. With these words we could always see ourselves happy and inspired to do things with joy in our face. When love continuous to be in this way, love can unite person. An example of this is the rite of marriage, through love the husband and wife made united in the name of love.

When we give love, we shouldn’t expect something in return rather we should do sacrifices like what Jesus did to save us. In love there must be no superior and inferior. Freedom must be practiced within love. In order for us to maintain peace we should not forget to love others as we love ourselves. We should love without any guidelines, without choosing, without criticizing and without any doubt for the person. We should build trust to each other so love will also be stronger. Love is eternal; it is the most powerful of all words. Just like God, God is eternal, so as His love for us. Love without limit so you will find infinity.

Give the opportunity to ten people a pen and paper and ask them to define ‘love’; you will be presented with different answers and definition. Love is interesting sociologically for so many reasons. To start with, just the one word can stand for so many different meanings to different people: sexual love, intimate love, companionate love, romantic love, parental love, friendship love, love for places, belongings, views. It is a word that is used prolifically to mean so much, which means it is incredibly difficult to define and study. However, within all of these answers, similarities will be present. Factors such as social class, gender/sex, ethnicity, and age all affect how an individual sees love and acts in a relationship. Love is sociological. Although many of us like to believe in the popular idea that love is blind. most people do not find themselves deeply and madly in love with just anyone; instead, most of us end up in love with someone who looks, and acts like us. More specifically, we tend to end up in love with people who share our race, ethnicity even religion. we tend to gravitate towards those who are similar to us. Like people, love can be prejudiced; however, such prejudices are not natural and they can be overcome through our social interactions.

Gabb and Fink (2015) identify that “relationships comprise pragmatics and emotions, choices and lack of choice, and all the spectrum of feelings and experiences in-between”. In their opinion, everyday moments and ordinary gestures create the feel and determine the success of a long-term relationship. Fundamentally, relationships and love aren’t what people have created independently but a sociology which is perceived, and subsequently passed down from traditions and past generations. It seems hard to deny that the way we come to express love is a product of our socialization. Practically everything we know about how to love comes from a variety of agents of socialization such as family, friends, the media, and even religious doctrines.

And like all things that are social, the ways through which we demonstrate love is variable based on the social context in which we find ourselves Like all other institutions, sociology changes with time in accordance with the developing views of society. Sociologists’ understandings of love tend to reflect different understandings of it within society, simply because the way we can study love is through talking to people, investigating cultural representations and understanding the structuring and organizing principles of love. Though humans are world-building creatures, they are born into a world that precede them and as such, those who have lived in it before must teach the newcomers how to interact within it (Farganis, 2008). Numerous cultural and socio-economic factors influence long-term relationships and are underpinned by sociological perspectives. Structural functionalism heavily focuses on modern society being 4-fold: sexual, reproductive, economic and educational. While a woman sees herself as the home maker, the husband, he works to provide for the family. In the study of Gabb and Fink (2015), this gendered norm is portrayed through Sumaira’s diary extract. She sees herself as the homemaker; her partner works while she cooks the food and clean the home on his return from work. This can be a difficult view to hold for many since relationships are becoming more equal, and the sole provider of a house is no longer the male in a relationship. With the world becoming more industrialized, women are reaching higher level of work and no longer need to be married to have their basic survival needs. women in modern day are more prepared to end relationships and love connections if they are no longer working. The feminist approach, women don’t enter a relationship on the reliance upon men to procreate. Many people enter into relationships with the same sex where procreation occurs via artificial means or adoption. It is a mark of how society has change and these relationships can still grow and women no longer need to rely on men.

Relationships can be broken down when feelings change and Gabb and Fink (2015) identify a relationships success as being dependent on intimate couple knowledge, not materialistic symbols or external validation. The study also identifies that for women, a simple thank you or compliment from their significant other is what makes them feel appreciated.

The findings of the Enduring Love study can help to demonstrate how relationship ‘practices’ – for example, doing good things for one another—help to increase relationship quality. Good communication a crucial and essential in sustaining a long-term relationship. In-depth communication and casual chats also help in forgoing stress and when done regularly it can bring about a sense of closeness. When couples spend the time talking and listening to each other they tend to appreciate each other more, that can also be a means through which couples come to understand and comfort each other.

Good communication is often combined with a sense of ‘having a laugh’. In this context humor thus appears to serve as a pressure relief. Laughing together puts into perspective what we truly have. Long-term may no longer mean forever after due to different life circumstances, but there is no sense that couples should see their relationships as time-limited when they are together. Instead, there should be an acknowledgement and valuing of the everyday things that are required to make a relationship work.

Things are quite different for millennial’s today, and more so in western world, social media is used to portray how individual relationships should be. Social media allows the world to know the precious investments couples make with one another and what once was symbolic about love has become idealized as a fairy-tale, or dependent upon a social dominance. Gabb and Fink (2015) identify Sumaira’s diary extract as partially framed for the readers and the use of the word perfect is as much for our benefit, as it is hers. The tale recounted by Sumaira is said to be ‘a childlike quality that draws on the trope of fairy tales’. Hayley’s diary entry (Gabb and Fink, 2015) highlights how she feels selfish over wanting an extra hour to sleep rather than be intimate with her partner. Putting your partner’s needs before your own doesn’t have to happen constantly even though couples portray these through social media. The relationship is not proprietary, but partnership. This links to interpretative sociology and the social construction of reality. The norm perceived with respect to intimacy is that men are generally more sexually active than women. Without knowing intimate details about every relationship, it becomes hard to separate the stereotype associated with this. Hayley suffers a real internal struggle to please her partner but also be able to rest enough to manage her working life too.

Stress happens in every relationship at some point in time. Even though much may have been said about the stressors which destroys long-term relationships, but what the Enduring Love survey findings indicate is that ‘what doesn’t break you, will make you’. When external factors such as death, financial worries, birth of children, changes of work and residence put life pressure on the relationship and do not stretch the relationship to the breaking point, they strengthen the bonds of the relationship. Going through stress together and being there for each other through such difficulties and heartaches are identified by female and male participants alike as some of the things which made their relationship stronger.

Love remains a slippery concept. Love is readily invoked but its articulation and meanings remain hard to pin down. The act of saying “I love you” is identified as important by women and men alike, however a loving gesture appears to be far more highly valued. Thoughtful gifts and generous acts of kindness are framed as expressions of love by most; they are not dependent on money and appear independent of external significant dates (such as a birthday or Valentine’s Day). It is what the gift signifies which is important, that is to say, the selflessness of the gesture and/or the touching and intimate knowledge that it demonstrates. A rose picked from the garden is more treasured than the delivery of a grand bouquet from the most expensive flora shop. The smallest of acts, such as being brought daily ‘a cup of tea’, speak volumes.

If you are still unsure the social foundations of how we learn to love and behave in relationships, talk to your parents, your friends from other cultures, or read some early modern books, and you will quickly find out that there are many different norms, practices, and behaviors that people have developed to demonstrate love.

References

1. Gabb, J. and Fink J (2015). Couple Relationship In the 21st Century. Basingstoke: Palgrave Macmillian.
2. Gabb, J. and Fink, J. (2015). Telling Moments and Everyday Experience: Multiple Methods Research on Couple Relationships and Personal Lives. Sociology, 49(5), pp.970-987.
3. Farganis, J. (2008). Readings in Social Theory. McGraw Hill.