Category: Interpersonal Communication

In July of the year 2012, “Americans spent 74.0 billion minutes on social media via a home computer, 40.8 billion minutes via apps, and 5.7 billion minutes via mobile web browsers, a total of 121.1 billion minutes [or 2.02 billion hours] on social networking sites”, as stated in the online site Procon.org. Not only this, but “35 global heads of state, every US Cabinet agency, 84% of US state governors, every major candidate for US President, and more than 40% of top global religious leaders are on Twitter” (Procon.org), not to mention our currently active president of the United States, Donald Trump. Clearly, the influence of the media and online networking sites is widespread across the globe, from government to business to our own homes.

According to a clinical report from the American Society of Pediatrics, the term ‘social media’ can refer to “social networking sites such as Facebook, MySpace, and Twitter; gaming sites and virtual worlds such as Club Penguin, Second Life, and the Sims; video sites such as YouTube; and blogs” (O’Keeffe, Clarke-Pearson, and Council on Communications and Media 800). Undoubtedly, the reader of these words has possessed experience with several of the networks listed above at one time or another, and so have billions of others in our world today, both for the better and for the worse. So the circumstances bring up a compelling inquiry: is social networking beneficial for our society? I will attempt to provide a just response to that question. When inspecting the available evidence as a whole on both sides of the issue, it becomes apparent that there are more downsides to social media than there are upsides and that cautious measures must be taken when dealing with such online tools.

Recognizing that not everything about social networking is negative, it is necessary to temporarily concentrate on and examine the reverse side of the matter. Many in our population would agree that online sites designed for socializing and building relationships have in fact achieved their purpose, effectively facilitating the development of new friendships, the strengthening of bonds between long-standing companionships, and the growth of overall communication. Being dedicated to present accurate and nonbiased information from a myriad of sources, analysts from Procon.org (the website mentioned above) provide some convincing support for this viewpoint in their article entitled ‘Are Social Networking Sites Good for Our Society?’. The authors claim that “93% of adults on Facebook use it to connect with family members, 91% use it to connect with current friends, and 87% use it to connect with friends from the past. 72% of all teens connect with friends via social media. 83% of these teens report that social media helps them feel more connected to information about their friends’ lives, 70% report feeling more connected to their friends’ feelings, and 57% make new friends”. Proceeding to provide further insight, the article continues: “More than 25% of teens report that social media makes them feel less shy, 28% report feeling more outgoing, and 20% report feeling more confident (53% of teens identified as somewhat shy or ‘a lot’ shy in general). Youth who are ‘less socially adept’ report that social media gives them a place to make friends and typically quiet students can feel more comfortable being vocal through a social media platform used in class” (Procon.org).

And not only are the feelings there, but the results are as well, as evident in another report by reputable news corporation USA Today. The report presents the following documentation. Hailing from the University of Toronto in Canada, Barry Wellman, a sociologist who has been examining social organizations since the 1960s, co-published an analysis destined for the American Behavioral Scientist journal. Utilizing information amassed by the Center for Digital Future at the University of Southern California during the years 2002 and 2007, the analysis concentrated on 1,178 adults from 27 to 74 years of age. It determined that “adults on average had about 10 friends they meet or speak with at least weekly and a few additional friends who are online only, or who began friendships online and then met in person”. The logical implication is that “heavy Internet users have the most friends, both offline and online” (Jayson). The tall numbers and persuasive data from several experts demonstrate that networking sites do, indeed, promote social connections in daily life.

Even still, however, this isn’t the whole story. Findings from many other specialists in the field of sociology point in a different direction, indicating that sites like Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, and Snapchat actually tend to encourage a withdrawal from face-to-face interaction and to damage relationships. For instance, Procon.org editors offset the earlier declarations in their social networking report by affirming said theory: “A USC Annenberg School study found that the percentage of people reporting less face-to-face time with family in their homes rose from 8% in 2000 to 34% in 2011. 32% reported using social media or texting during meals instead of talking with family and friends”. And, still more shocking, “10% of people younger than 25 years old respond to social media and text messages during sex. Researchers have found that ‘active Twitter use leads to greater amounts of Twitter-related conflict among romantic partners, which in turn leads to infidelity, breakup, and divorce’”. Maybe our social networking hubs aren’t as harmless as first believed. Presumably, according to these quotes, it can be gleaned that networking sites have the potential to stifle unity in families, cause separation in friendships, and even induce a lack of attention between romantic partners.

But the discord doesn’t stop there. “31% of teens who use social media have fought with a friend because of something that happened online”, the authors continue. “A 2016 study found that overuse of social media as an adolescent may decrease success in relationships later in life as online communication hinders the development of conflict management skills and awareness of interpersonal cues. One study found that the more Facebook friends a person has, the more stressful Facebook is to use” (Procon.org). So it’s perceived that not only do online networking sites dampen our future potential, but they also cause the population to become sucked up in the constant warfare of attempting to satisfy their many associates. In the process, people “retreat behind the digital veil”, as Lisa Selin Davis from Time magazine phrases it in her article about Facebook’s effects on communication in the outside world. The common fear of personal interaction, she says, “started long before the Internet existed, with the advent of answering machines. ‘People would call a phone when they knew the other person wasn’t available to pick up. It enabled them to convey information without forcing them to interact’”. Davis garnered her information on the subject from Charles Steinfield, a professor at Michigan State University, though she also begins her article with personal experience, expressing her friend Jenny’s absence of response to phone calls for nearly a year. Later on she clarifies that the silence was chiefly due her colleague’s hectic calendar and that Facebook has provided a gateway for speedy conversation between the two; nonetheless, she fears society today may be too dependent on this form of communicating. “[She] can’t help wondering: If for some reason Facebook suddenly ceased to exist, would people like Jenny revert to phone calls or visits, or would they lose touch altogether?”. Such is the question we must ask ourselves about the tempting adherence to our computer screens. By shrinking away from reality and into cyberspace, maturity and social skills are hampered and weakened at the core.

Techniques for Being a Good Listener

The world, as is currently set up, is high-paced. Everything and everyone is moving fast, and the situation is even worse in the healthcare sector. It is noted that the veterinary science sector is also no exception. Genuine listening is rare these days, regardless of how significant it is in building relationships, guaranteeing an understanding, solving issues, improving accuracy and resolving conflicts. At the veterinary department, effective listening results in less wasted time and fewer errors which, in turn, allow for better results. The listening principles that can be applied at work are also applicable at home, and they allow for self-reliance and the building of healthy bonds that can last a lifetime. In a world where genuine and effective listening is running in short supply, several techniques can be utilized to help amend the situation.

The first technique is facing the speaker and maintaining eye contact with them (Haldane et al., 2017). it is noted that talking to someone while they focus on something else such as a computer screen, gazing at the window or scanning a room might just be as good as speaking to an inanimate object. It shows that one is not getting the other person’s undivided attention, and it could mean that the information being communicated is not being comprehended one bit, and is not making any impact whatsoever. This is where facing the speaker and maintaining eye contact comes in handy. It ensures that all the concentration is on the speaker and what is being said (Haldane et al., 2017). This allows for a better understanding of what is being communicated, and, at work, this allows for the easier and more effective implementation of directions which subsequently, lead to better results down the line.

Another technique to use is avoiding interruptions and not imposing one’s idea of “solutions (Revuelta, 2018).” Growing up, kids were taught that it was rude to interrupt. Things seem to have changed and people no longer find an issue with interrupting others. Interruption sends a not-so-good message, from not caring what the speaker is saying, implying that one is more important than the speaker, or that they have something more interesting to say. Regardless, it is rude and it hampers communication. It is important to take turns, and wait until an appropriate moment before any questions can be asked (Revuelta, 2018). This can result in better and more effective communication with better results in the end.

Some other techniques that can be used include asking questions to ensure that one understands what is being communicated, giving appropriate and regular feedback, paying attention to non-verbal cues and just paying attention (Gaida et al., 2018). Of these, nonverbal cues stand out. They include aspects such as the tone of the speaker, the cadence of their voice, any facial expressions, the speaker’s posture, among others. These cues send a message that goes beyond what is being verbally uttered and it can help in understanding the situation, and understanding the message being put across a lot better (Gaida et al., 2018). Of course, at the end of the day, for one to be a good listener, one does not have to focus on a single technique. Instead, it is a blend of all the techniques without having to prioritize one over the other. They are all equally important and integral to being a good listener.

What to do to Clarify What a Client/Coworker is Saying

Sometimes information or a given message is not gotten on one go. For instance, a client might come into the hospital and start explaining symptoms and what they think might be the issue. There are specific things that veterinary science professionals usually look out for in the symptoms and the clients might not understand or know how to articulate themselves. This is where seeking clarification comes in handy. Just like communication, it ought to be handled with care lest there is a breakdown in communication or trust is lost between the parties involved. One way that one can seek clarification politely is to admit that they are unsure about what the speaker means (Kedrowicz, 2016). Doing so in such a way would not come out as rude, and would allow the speaker to reword their statement in a way that would be more understandable.

The other technique is to ask for repetition. Sometimes asking a speaker to repeat a given point allows them not just to reword what they said, but to also think about what they said and what they are about to say to eliminate any areas or aspects that might lead to a misunderstanding or confusion (Kedrowicz, 2016). Usually just repeating it once is enough to clarify what the client or coworker is saying and it eliminates any aspect if doubt or any potential for conjecture in case something has not been properly understood. Another tried and tested technique is to state what the speaker has said, just as one would understand it. This is a form of paraphrasing. The goal here is to check with the speaker to see if that is what they said or meant. It is not rude in any way, and it makes the speaker feel a sense of reassurance that the listener is committed to understanding what is being said (Kedrowicz, 2016).

Other techniques include asking for specific examples, the use of open but non-directive questions, but only when and where appropriate, along with asking if one has gotten it right, and then be prepared to be corrected (Revuelta, 2018). The goal here is not to come off as rude and to make an effort to understand what is being said. This allows for closing up any gaps of information that might be potentially filled in with wrong information. Subsequently, it allows for the proper execution of the relevant tasks without leaving any room for mistakes.

How to Communicate So that the Client/Coworker Will Listen and Understand

Being a good speaker is just as important as being a good listener. It also employs similar principles, with the first one being the use of face-to-face communication (Haldane et al., 2017). This form of communication is more personal, and, especially when speaking to a client or coworker, it is way more effective than alternatives present such as sending an email. With face-to-face communication, one can maintain eye contact with the listener, thereby guaranteeing their attention. It also welcomes real-time questions and requests for clarification which allows for a better understanding of what is being communicated, along with what is expected from the client or the coworker. It is also noted that with face-to-face communication, it is easier to discuss things more professionally and quickly, thereby saving both time and other resources needed (Kedrowicz, 2016).

Tying into face-to-face communication, as hinted above, is making eye contact. Making eye contact with a speaker ensures that one is listening (Kedrowicz, 2016). The speaker making eye contact with the listener ensures that they are listening as well. It also allows for a more engaging conversation which sees to it that the issues being discussed are understood. Making eye contact, as mentioned earlier as well, allows for the physical presence of both the speaker and the listener. This eliminates any potential for discrimination and prejudices, allowing for the information to be passed on as effectively and efficiently as possible (Kedrowicz , 2016). It is essential in ensuring that the objectives of a speech are achieved, and the goals set for a given project are achieved as well.

Participating in the conversation is also another aspect that will ensure that the client or coworker listens to what is being said. Communication goes both ways, from the speaker to the listener, and the other way around. It is important to participate in it, to stay engaged, even when one is the speaker. This involves giving ideas to various aspects of the conversation, being honest and being respectful as well while at it. Some of the other techniques that can be used include speaking openly and calmly, acknowledging the listener’s time, paying attention to non-verbal cues from the speaker and listening as well (Gaida et al., 2018). The objective is to involve all the parties in the conversation and to ensure that by the time the dialogue is done, everything is clearly understood. Employing these techniques would help in achieving that, and in the achievement of the goals facilitated by the conversation in the first place.

References

1. Gaida, S., Härtl, A., Tipold, A., & Dilly, M. (2018). Communication identity in veterinary medicine: a grounded theory approach. Veterinary record open, 5(1), e000310.
2. Haldane, S., Hinchcliff, K., Mansell, P., & Baik, C. (2017). Expectations of graduate communication skills in professional veterinary practice. Journal of veterinary medical education, 44(2), 268-279.
3. Kedrowicz, A. A. (2016). The impact of a group communication course on veterinary medical students’ perceptions of communication competence and communication apprehension. Journal of veterinary medical education, 43(2), 135-142.
4. Revuelta, G. (2018). Communication training at undergraduate level. An analysis of health and life sciences, environmental sciences and natural sciences.

“The real education is your attitude and behavior with others. It defines your whole personality, no matter how qualified you are”. By analyzing ‘The Proposal’ movie, we can identify many aspects of interpersonal communication. Interpersonal communication is the exchange of verbal and nonverbal messages between people who build relationships, share meanings, and accomplish social goals. In the movie, ‘The Proposal’, Sandra Bullock is casted as Margaret Tate, an assertive and very powerful, executive editor-in-chief of a New York publisher, and Ryan Reynolds is cast to play as Andrew Paxton, her assistant. After Margaret learned that she was about to be deported back to Canada because she violated the terms of her work visa, she persuades her assistant, Andrew, to marry her in order to keep her visa status in the U.S. and avoid deportation to Canada. As their story develops, we can analyze several interpersonal communication concepts. The purpose of this paper is to explore three concepts of interpersonal communication as it relates to relationships and communication behaviors. The three main concepts in the film I want to address are power dynamics, social penetration and social exchange theory.

One of the first concepts we observe in the movie was power dynamics. As we know, when one person has power over another, that dynamic can cause one or both of the people to handle conflict unproductively. We can observe the power dynamic when Margaret asserts her power by firing Bob. She fired him because Bob failed to complete a task, which she has asked him to do repeatedly. However, as Margaret walked away from Bob’s office after firing him, Bob reacted by storming out of his office yelling and insulting Margaret in front of all the employees. Bob’s aggressive behavior perhaps was triggered by Margaret’s insensitive and distant communication style, or he felt humiliated by the lack of empathy she expressed when letting him go. Regardless, Margaret’s coercive power escalated the situation. Margaret abused her power by humiliating, insulting, and threatening Bob instead of trying to de-escalate the situation. She could have avoided this situation by calmly asking Bob to talk in a private location, away from the other employees. Instead, Margaret used the situation to highlight her power and ego in front of her employees. When you are in a position of authority, like she was, it is easy to see how you could let that power go to your head and ignore who you really are and how you should react. “When people use power for good, they can create positive working environments, high-quality products and services, and opportunities for others” (Bentley, 2020).

Another concept we observe in the movie is social penetration. The social penetration theory explains how partners move from superficial levels to greater intimacy. Through the onion model metaphor, we can describe how the theory of social penetration works. Social penetration is the process through which people ‘peel back’ others’ layers of personal information through interpersonal interaction to reach the core. Social penetration is specifically accomplished through self‐disclosure, the purposeful process of revealing information about oneself. For example, when Margaret and Andrew are forced to sleep in the same room, they start to warm up to each other with small talk. In one scene, Margaret opens up to Andrew by telling him a few personal and private details that he probably didn’t know about her. She shares with him that her tattoo of two swallows is meant to immortalize her parents, who died when she was sixteen. She even shared more of her feelings and told him that she went to the restroom and cried after Bob insulted her. Andrew was quietly processing what Margaret was telling him, probably realizing that he cares more than he thought for her. Andrew then asked her not to take it wrong when he says she’s very beautiful. He continues to lighten the mood by singing ‘It Takes Two’ by Margaret’s favorite band and they both end the night singing and laughing. We can see by them having an open conversation, they were able to bond, allowing their relationship to move from superficial to more intimate. I believe that, in order for relationships to develop, there must be an exchange of information through effective communication.

The final concept is the social exchange theory. The social exchange theory explains the process of balancing the advantages and disadvantages of a relationship. The way this concept was made apparent in the movie was when Margaret finds out that her visa application had been denied and she was to be deported. In response, Margaret came up with the idea of marrying her assistant, Andrew. Despite being told that this would have severe consequences, had it been determined that their engagement was not truthful, they still decided to take the risk and continue with committing fraud. For them, the reward that came with their agreement outweighed the cost that it implied. In chapter 8, we learned that rewards are elements of a relationship that you feel good about (benefits such as social status or intellectual stimulation) and costs are aspects of the relationship that upset or annoy you, cause you stress, or damage your own self-image or lifestyle (such as conflict or jealousy). For Margaret, the benefit of marrying Andrew was that she could stay in the United States permanently and she could keep her job. The risk of lying, however, was her potential deportation. For Andrew, the cost of marrying Margaret was getting fined $250,000 and being at risk of spending 5 years in federal prison. Publishing his manuscript and getting a promotion, however, was a much greater benefit. The social exchange theory is apparent in both Margaret and Andrew’s attempts to grow in their individual and professional lives.

In conclusion, through analyzing these three concepts of interpersonal communication, power dynamics, social penetration, and social exchange theory, we can see that interpersonal communication is crucial for personal and professional life development. It helps one to communicate more effectively with others. Communication is said to be the foundation of every interpersonal relationship. Without interpersonal communication, problems are bound to happen, as it plays an essential role in reducing misunderstandings and eventually strengthens individual relationships. The analysis of the movie ‘The Proposal’ helps to identify the aspects of interpersonal communication and the impact on relationships through the development of these concepts.

Introduction

Alienation is isolation and estrangement from yourself and/or others. This stems from the theories established by Emile Durkheim (1952) and in particular Karl Marx (1844), who argued that capitalism led to the “self-estrangement of man” due to the alienation humans experience from their labor (Marx, 1844). Although the main ideas are still highly relevant and applicable in modern society, alienation has changed from more labor based to a more contemporary sense of social alienation. In saying that, the recent evolution of social media platforms such as Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram has not contributed to our contemporary sense of social alienation, and in some instances has led to a reduction in alienation experienced by individuals. This is due to social media’s ability to help form and preserve relationships, as well as give people the opportunity to express themselves and their opinions, leading to strengthened connections with themselves and people of society.

Alienation can lead to individuals feeling isolated and estranged from others. Social media provides a platform for people to formulate and sustain relationships, thus leading to an individual feeling less alienated. A recent study undergone by Wang and Edwards (2016), looked to understand the use of social media tools among teenagers when socializing and building relationships (Wang & Edwards, 2016). The authors claim that social media is a ‘phatic technology’, being a technology that is used to “establish, develop and maintain human relationships” (Malinowski, 1923). Their experiment validated this, determining that the majority of people surveyed use social media to “welcome (75%), build (64%) and explore (58%)” (Wang & Edwards, 2016 p1212) relationships with other people. This concluded that social media is identifiable as phatic technology and is used as a source of relationship building and management (Wang & Edwards, 2016). In this way, social media can help people feel less alienated from their surroundings. It can lead to less isolation and estrangement from other people by forming relationships and giving people a greater sense of belonging in their community. Social media not only helps establish relationships, but it can assist in building and exploring them, making the relationship stronger and more meaningful. As a result, social media does not contribute to our contemporary sense of social alienation, through the growing interactions and connections with other people.

Alienation can stem from a situation or environment where individual control and power are lost, leading to an inability to express yourself. Social media can be a tool used by one to express themselves and their opinions. In his manuscript “Estranged Labour”, Marx (1844) detailed the “alienation of labor” and the way by which the worker is “estranged of the thing”, which is the object the labor produces (Marx, 1844). This is due to the worker’s need for labor in order to sustain themselves, the worker becomes powerless, and “a servant to his object” (Marx, 1944). This loss of control and power results in the worker feeling alienated. Marx’s views have proved influential in further understanding our contemporary sense of alienation, particularly in a social setting. As is from an economic production point of view, the loss of control and power in a social setting would similarly lead to a feeling of isolation and alienation. However, the evolution of social media platforms for one to express themselves and their opinion has instead given people power and control in their lives. The ability for anyone to press for social change presents normal people with a perception of power to influence the world. This results in people feeling less alienated, due to the freedom they possess. In addition, the ability for people to express themselves could lead to increased social regulation and moral guidance. Emile Durkheim’s (1952) journal on anomie, being a lack of social regulation as a result of the ‘great transformation”, raised the question of society’s moral values (Durkheim, 1952). Due to a lack of these moral values, Durkheim (1952) explains that this results in anomic suicides occurring. However, as a result of the growth of social media, all of society has the opportunity to have their say and express their opinion. This can lead to an increase in social regulation and moral guidance to help regulate what is considered the norm in society and what isn’t, due to greater input from lots of people. Social media, therefore, has the capability to allow individuals to express themselves as well as shape societal values, all of which contribute to the reduction in alienation.

Social media may be highly exploitive; however, this does not mean it is alienating, and can even lead to user de-alienation. The Marxist (1844) themes of exploitation and alienation have often gone hand in hand, with the “alienation of labor” caused by the exploitation of the worker, “in which the worker becomes an ever cheaper commodity the more commodities he creates” (Marx, 1844). This reduction of human identity to a mere “commodity”, shows how the workers are alienated completely from their “species being” or humanity. However, scholar Eran Fisher (2012) argued that while “social media allows for the expansion and intensification of exploitation” (Fisher, 2012 p171), it simultaneously reduces alienation among its users. In a case study involving Facebook, Fisher explained that the labor exploitation apparent in capitalist societies is similar to social media, where “the media itself, i.e., the platform (wages) is exchanged for the audience work of communicating and socializing (labor)” (Fisher, 2012 p181). By users socializing and revealing information about themselves, they risk being exploited by companies to which the information is extremely valuable to. Alienation however is not a byproduct in this case, as in order for exploitation to occur on social media, the users must be “actively engaged in the production of content” (Fisher, 2012). P J Rey (2012) explains that this is in fact the case, with “users willing, even eager, to participate in activities that profit companies” (Rey, 2012 p 416). As a result, users are seen to express themselves more, communicate with others, and have overall engagement with the social medium.

A lie is a statement that is believed to be false and is usually used to mislead someone. The practice of spreading falsehood is called lying. A person who tells lies can be called a liar. People lie for many different reasons. In this essay, I am going to consider the most typical of them.

Firstly, people tell lies to avoid punishment. “I thought I was only going 55 miles an hour officer”, claims the driver speeding at 70 mph. “My wristwatch stopped, so I had no idea that I got home 2 hours after my curfew”, says the teenager. Avoiding punishment is the most frequent reason people tell serious lies, regardless of their age, whether it be to avoid a speeding ticket or being grounded. In serious lies there is a threat of significant damage if the lie is discovered: loss of freedom, money, job, relationship, reputation, or even life itself.

Concealing a reward or benefit is another reason to lie. In serious lies, the falsehood is usually told to conceal the reward or benefit the liar obtained by breaking a rule or explicit expectation. The curfew violator was able to stay longer at the party, the speeding driver is rushing because he pushed the snooze button when the alarm went off, the husband claims the ringer on the telephone in his office must have been turned off when he was ‘working’ late – in a hotel room with his girlfriend – will pay no price if his lie succeeds. In each of these examples, the rule breaker decides before breaking a rule that he or she will if questioned lie to cover the cheating. Sometimes the reward could have been achieved – a high mark on an exam – without cheating, but not as easily, it would have taken more effort (hours of study in this example).

Protecting someone else from harm is the next most important reason why people tell serious lies. You don’t want your friend, your fellow worker, your sibling, your spouse, or anyone whom you care about to get punished, even if you don’t agree with what the person you are protecting did that put him or her in danger. It is not certain whether society approves of these lies. When policemen refuse to testify against a fellow officer, they know has broken the law, we respect their motives, but many people believe they should be truthful. Yet the terms we use ‘rat’, ‘fink’, and ‘snitch’ are derogatory.

To protect yourself from being harmed even when you have not broken any rule is still another motive. The child home alone who tells the stranger knocking on the door “My father is taking a nap come back later” has committed no misdeed that he or she is concealing; it is a self-protection lie.

Some lies are told to win the admiration of others. Boasting about something untrue is an obvious instance. It is common in children, some adolescents, and even adults.

Maintaining privacy, without asserting that right, is another reason why people may lie. A daughter answering her mother’s question “Who were you talking to on the phone just now” by naming a girlfriend, not the boy who is asking her out on a date, is an example. It is only when there is a strong trusting relationship that a child would feel brave enough to say “That’s private”, announcing the right to have a secret.

Some people lie for the sheer thrill of getting away with it, testing their unsuspected power. Many children will at some point lie to their parents simply to see if they can do it. Some people do this all the time, enjoying the power they obtain in controlling the information available to the target.

Avoiding embarrassment is still another motive for some serious and many trivial lies. A child who claims that the wet seat was caused by a spilled glass of water and not because she wet her pants is an example of the child not fearing punishment for her failure, just embarrassment. Avoiding embarrassment is relevant to many less serious lies that come under the rubric of lies of everyday life. Very often people lie to get out of an awkward social situation. They may not know how to do it. “Can’t get a babysitter” offered to avoid another dull evening and food. “Sorry, I am on my way out the door”, is an excuse given by people who do not feel brave enough to be truthful even to a totally unknown telephone solicitor.

And finally, there are the deceptions that are required by politeness. “Thanks so much for the lovely party” or “That color really looks good on you”. I don’t consider these to be lies, any more than bluffing in poker is a lie, acting in a play is lying, or the asking price not being the selling price. In all of these instances, the target does not expect to be told the truth, there is notification.

Summing up, there are many different reasons why people lie. However, of the most common motives for telling lies, avoiding punishment is the primary motivator for both children and adults. Other typical reasons include protecting ourselves or others from harm, maintaining privacy, and avoiding embarrassment, and others, discussed in this essay.

For the past 50 years, Knapp’s relational stage model has been testified in relationship development and dissolution; it has become the fundamental of interpersonal communication theory. In building a relationship, this theory is based on the everyday human formation of new relationships that always begins with a conversation with strangers for the first time. Accordingly, most people would have experienced whether their relationship was developed or terminated.

As cited in ‘Interpersonal Communication: Putting Theory into Practice’ by Solomon and Theiss (2013, p.240), Knapp conceptualizes the five levels of the relationship development model that consists of the initiation, experimenting, intensifying, integrating, and bonding stage. He believes that when thinking about the development of a romantic relationship, it refers to the series of stages that the couples have been through. First, the initiation stage refers to the first impressions when someone puts romantic interests in their potential romantic partners. People tend to do self-judgment toward their prospective partners online or offline. Though the basic level, this stage is critical in determining whether the relationship should be developed or ended. Second, the experimenting stage is defined as wherein people already become good friends. They tend to seek more in-depth information to reduce uncertainty and discomfort; they may engage intentionally but not consistently in both offline and online conversations. The potential partner’s beliefs and attitudes are investigated further. The level of interest is also reviewed in this stage. Third, the intensifying stage, they clearly show that they are already romantically interested in each other. The personal boundaries are fading, the self-disclosure begins to manifest; they are already in a comfortable zone to exchange their personal information, ideas, and feelings. The next stage is the integrating stage, they typically express their interdependence; the use of the word ‘we’ and ‘us’ is a way to show an interdependent relationship. This stage is also known as more than just a good friend or friend zone. Finally, the bonding stage is defined as the clearance of the relationship status; the couple has intentionally shared a mutual affection.

Agree with the concept of relational stages of a romantic relationship, Fox & Anderegg (2014) state: “Typically, these models suggest a progression wherein individuals meet, become acquainted, establish romantic interests, date and then enter into an exclusive relationship that escalates in commitment over time” (Fox & Anderegg, 2014, p.686).

However, several scholars criticize the implementation of Knapp’s relational stage model for the past few years. Solomon and Theiss (2013) argue that the implementation of theory cannot be generalized in terms of timing; couples may in a fast or slow track to achieve the highest stage – the bonding stage. Four pathways of dating are described by Catherine Surra in 1985 as described in ‘Interpersonal Communication: Putting Theory into Practice’ by Solomon and Theiss (201, p.239) as follows: (a) accelerated courtship – a fast move toward committed relationship regardless of their past background, (b) accelerated arrested courtship – a quick move to intimacy but mutual commitment got obstructed, however couples in (c) intermediate courtship and (d) prolonged courtship – they are similarly required more time; the relationship has gone steady and calm, but couples in intermediate courtship faster toward mutual commitment than those in prolonged courtship. Thus, Solomon and Theiss (2013) suggest that couples have to focus on determining relationship goals and their messages to gain a mutual commitment quickly. Relationship goals are referred to the comprehension of each other’s goals, and determine the ways to achieve those goals, as it would help them to review their future relationship.

Furthermore, Fox et al. (2013) scrutinize that exploratory testing of this model is rarely done in modern interactions – most previous research focused on face-to-face interaction. In light of major changes in the way people communicate, the researcher further notes that today’s online phenomenon leads people to get to know other people online before they have ever met offline. Fox et al. (2013) have challenged the use of Knapp’s relational stage model using Facebook – the largest social networking site as of January 2019 with 3.48 billion Internet users worldwide, with a growth of 297 million new users since the last year (‘We Are Social’, 2019), the study found that Facebook has become primary tools for reducing uncertainty at the initiation stage and placing ‘in relationship’ status at the bonding stage. Therefore, it is important to examine how Knapp’s relational stage model is used in modern interpersonal communication, as Fox et al. (2013) support this when they wrote that conventional interaction requires more time to clarify the romantic relationship status than online.

In summary, this essay has discussed Knapp’s relational development model. For a better understanding of the concept, different views, both supporters and critics, were discussed.

There were many differences made in the book like the length of the film. In this novel, the directors of the movie Speak made it shorter because of time issues. The author states “Anderson’s idea for the protagonist in Speak came to her in a bad dream. Her nightmare, which she wrote down upon waking, became the story of Melinda Sordino, who alienates everyone in her high school by calling the police during a drinking party the summer before her freshman year”(Abelove 25). Books are able to describe events with which you can visualize and draw your own conclusions. The authors thoughts and opinions are introduced throughout a book, “We hear them speak, and hear their thoughts as well, in a movie typically a screenwriter will choose a clear protagonist and we will see the world of the film from his point of view” (“When making a movie from a book”). Film and Industry are very popular in our generation rather than having books. Though Jessica Sharzers movie version of Laurie Halse Andersons Speak shows many similarities it focuses on many different scenarios that the book does not show because if so the movie would have been twelve hours.

Melinda was raped in both the movie and the book the author and director did that because if you were to take that out you are missing the big purpose of Speak. Being raped and writing about the situation is a hard thing to do. The characters are focused on more in the book then the movie they are more shaped and better described. The narrators’ point of view is described and it describes the emotions of people but the movie goes along with the cycle of things so it does not confuse the people watching. Melinda going through these situations she loses a lot of her friends, she was very depressed, and it affected her learning at one point and time. She was also affected by having nightmares of seeing herself being raped in his car or in the book outside of the party. She feels like she is an outcast because everyone hates Melinda for calling the cops at the party when she was scared and did not know what to do after that situation had happened to her she was not brave enough to speak up and tell what happened. Anderson shares that at the age of 13 she was raped “She has shared her own experience of being raped at 13, one year younger than the protagonist in Speak and how like her she kept silent about it (Anderson waited 25 years before telling a therapist what happened to her.)”(Krug, “Shocked readers with rape”) If women would speak up about what happens to them they would be called whores or sluts. According to the interview of Laurie Halse Anderson “Even today women do not have equal rights” (“Laurie Halse Anderson”). This sentence explains the importance of women speaking up for themselves if something has happened to them. Many directors try to make books and movies similar because the movie is always really based on the book they want people to experience what they read in a visual manner. Even though there are many similarities in books and movies differences can make a dramatic effect on the way things may be.

The differences between a movie and a book are important because of different scenarios some could be budget cut and then others could save a lot of time. Speak cut actors from the movie like the main character Laurie Halse Anderson was not in the movie except for being a lunch lady. The Mascot was changed in the movie it changed from a Trojan to a Hornet than to another mascot which was wombats, in the book their mascot is changed from a Trojan to a blue devil. The author probably made them bold changes because they felt like the mascot they ended up choosing worked well with the audience. Sometimes it is about working with what is best for the people that are going to be watching the movie. One educator had said ‘The ever-changing mascots are symbolic of the changes Melinda has made in her life'(Miles, “Changing Mascots”), what that is trying to say is that having the author and director change the mascots also can show that Melinda is changing the viewpoint she has on life because of her situation of being raped. Melinda does not want to experience the past in her thoughts or dreams so the directors changing the mascots is a great way to show how she changed her life. These are not the only changes that were made, one of the most crucial parts that stood out the most to me was where the location that Melinda was raped.

The producer chose to make the place where she had gotten raped different because it probably worked better in the scene. The character Melinda was raped outside of the party in the book but in the movie, she was raped during the party in Andy’s (the guy who raped her) car. Different areas where things occur is natural people usually do that occasionally, not only just because of how long the book may be or trying to work with what the people that are going to be watching want but they do it to give the movie a little twist kind of spicing it up so it is not boring. Changes from where Melinda was raped could have been a part of the era, because most of the time in movies you cannot show everything that you have put into the book, the book can be more expressive. They could also try to make people understand that rape could happen anywhere and at any time not just a certain location. People who write or direct a book or movie do different things because most people before they watch a movie have already read the book they try and make things different. According to Ferreria, “Ideally, a film will keep as much of the story, and cut as little as possible. Realistically, a movie is a very different medium, with different demands and characteristics. A screenwriter must necessarily cut, rearrange, conflate characters, cut characters, and even change the date and time along with location”(When making a movie from a book).

Through the context of rape, changes of lifestyle, and changes of scenery there are many differences between a movie and a book but there are also many things that are alike. With that being said Speak shows us many different ways and reasons why stuff happens and the reasons that it happens. Speak is a young-adult novel that explains what can really happen in life at any time and how people can overcome it. The author says “Melinda becomes a silent outcast, a stranger even from herself. In an honest and biting satire of high school culture, Anderson shows the painful healing process that Melinda goes through as she confronts the truth about what happened at the party. She was raped-and to prevent others from experiencing the same victimization, she must speak out” (Abelove 26). By Laurie Halse Anderson writing this book Speak, she is telling young women that it is not right to just keep situations like this in, you have to speak up about it and express the secret that you have carried around on your back for the longest weighing you down. Speaking out is about saying goodbye to your past and hello to a future where you do not have to worry about the mistakes that have happened even though knowing it is not your fault. Melinda finally finds her voice in speak “It happened. There is no avoiding it, no forgetting. No running away, or flying, or burying, or hiding. Andy Evans raped me in August when I was drunk and too young to know what was happening. It wasn’t my fault. He hurt me. It wasn’t my fault. And I am not going to let it kill me. I can grow” (Miles, Changing Mascot). In the future, Laurie Halse Anderson would probably want to see young women learn from her book and her mistakes of how not speaking up made her depressed and had nightmares and brought her down. Remember what Anderson said, “…There is no magic cure, no making it all go away forever. There are only small steps upward; an easier day, an unexpected laugh, a mirror that doesn’t matter anymore. I am thawing.”

Works Cited

1. Abelove-Esther Forbs, Joan. “Cyclopedia of Young Adult Authors.” Laurie Halse Anderson. Vol.1 (2005) 25-26. Print.
2. Anderson, Laurie Halse. Speak. Harrisonburg, Virginia, R.R. Donnelley & Sons Company, 1999.
3. Ferreria, Jon. “When making a movie from a book.” Quora. Https://Www.quora.com/When-Making-a-Movie-from-a-Book-Why-Do-They-Leave-Some-Most-of-the-Book-out-of-the-Movie. Accessed 10 April 2019.
4. Krug, Nora. “Laurie Halse Anderson Shocked readers with a book about rape. She’s at it again.” Washington Post. https://www.washingtonpost.com/entertainment/books/laurie-halse-anderson-shocked-readers-with-a-book-about-rape-shes-at-it-again/2018/06/11/68eed8b8-6bd5-11e8-9e38-24e693b38637_story.html?utm_term=.1d8e141a2262. Accessed 10 April 2019.
5. “Laurie Halse Anderson.” Booklist, vol. 114, no. 9/10, Jan. 2018, p. 93. EBSCOhost, search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=f5h&AN=127304955&site=ehost-live. Accessed 9 April 2019.
6. Miles, Sarah. “In Speak, what do the changing mascots at Merryweather High School reflect?” Enotes. https://www.enotes.com/homework-help/what-do-changing-mascots-merryweather-high-school-54411. Accessed 10 April 2019.

In this essay I will answer question number three. To do this I have decided to analyse the personal relationships in one of the texts that we have read in the module: Waiting for Godot, by Samuel Beckett. Waiting for Godot (in French: En attendant Godot is a work belonging to the theatre of the absurd, written at the end of the 40s by Samuel Beckett and published in 1952. Beckett wrote the original work first in French, which is his second language. The English translation was made by Beckett himself and published in 1955.

The work is divided into two acts, and in both appear two tramps called Vladimir and Estragon who wait in vain next to a road to a certain Godot, with whom – perhaps – they have some appointment. The audience never gets to know who Godot is, or what kind of issue they have to deal with him. In each act, two more characters appear, the cruel Pozzo and his slave Lucky, followed by a boy who sends the message to Vladimir and Estragon that Godot will not come today, ‘but tomorrow sure’ but the play finishes with Godot never showing up. In fact, the audience and the readers could never now if Godot was alive or even real. The plot, of which the origin is not to have any relevant fact and is very repetitive, symbolizes the boredom and lack of meaning that human life has, recurrent theme of existentialism.

A famous interpretation of the mysteriously and absent Godot is that it represents God, although Beckett has always denied this. Beckett confirmed that the name was derived from godillot, which in French means boot. Taking this in count, the title could suggest that the characters are waiting ‘for the boot”. In the one hand we could say that it could be a metaphor: they are waiting for some kind of shoe-wear to keep walking through life. It can also be seen as another kind of metaphor saying that they are waiting for a “kick”, in a way of saying that they are waiting for bad news. As a proper name, Godot could also have been derived from different French verbs. Waiting for Godot belongs to the “absurd” . The theatre of the absurd covers a set of works written by certain American and European dramatists during the 1940s, 1950s and 1960s and, in general, the one that emerged from the work of those. Its main feature is to have plots that seem to lack any kind of meaning, that talk with repetitive dialogues and have lack of dramatic sequence that often creates a dreamlike atmosphere.

The theatre of the absurd is also characterised by having strong existentialist features and usually questions society and man, what is wrong and what is right. Through humour and mythification they hid a very demanding attitude towards their art. Incoherence, nonsense and illogical are also very representative features of these common works . The work really highlights the fact that it lacks abundance of characters. This is one of the facts that makes much harder describing the personal relationships between the plot. Also, the dialogues are repetitive and meaningless. In the play we can see that there are only five characters on stage (six if we count Godot, who never appears or speaks). These five characters are: Estragon and Vladimir, being these two the main characters – who are always on the stage, and then we have Pozzo and Lucky, who are side characters, and the fifth character is a boy who doesn’t have a name and appears two times just to tell the other characters that Godot is not coming. First of all, I would like to define what a personal relationship is.

The thing we call personal relationships refers to close contact between people, formed by emotional and sometimes sentimental bonds and interactions. These relations often age from and are stablished by mutual experiences. There is one kind of personal relationships that is really linked to Waiting for Godot according to John Robert Keller . This kind of relationship is called dyadic relationship. The dyad is the term registered by the German sociologist Georg Simmel, in his research on the dynamics of small social groups, to refer to social groups composed of two people. Marriages, intimate relationships or intimate friendships are groups of this type. Godot, who never appears on stage, represents the maternal side of a dyadic relationship in where the mother is an absent character. It is something that builds up the emotional background of the play’s internal world. This means that the relationship that everyone has with Godot is dyadic, and Godot is always playing a role of absent mother. The other relationships in the play are also dyadic and they are fluid too, because the characters assume mother–infant roles. From the very beginning of the play we can see the companionship between Vladimir and Estragon – who are also a dyadic relationship.

The play starts with Estragon alone on the stage trying to take off his boot and constantly failing. Then Vladimir enters in stage and that is the first time we see them both together, but by their dialogue we can tell they have known each other form way before. We are told that the characters have been separated over the night, but we never get to know how they met each other or when and most importantly for how long. When Vladimir is on stage, Estragon’s shoe falls off without any effort. Here we could say that Estragon needs Vladimir on stage to get what he wants or to achieve something. The ease with which they meet each other in that moment gives us, as an audience, a vision and allows us to pay attention to the fact that we are not seeing two strangers on stage, but that we are witnesses of two friends. The play goes on with Vladimir saying: VLADIMIR: I’m glad to see you back. I thought you were gone forever. ESTRAGON: Me too. VLADIMIR: Together again at last! (…) (Act 1 – Beckett, Samuel, Waiting for Godot, 1953). These lines imply that when Estragon is not by the side of Vladimir, Vladimir feels sad, and the word “glad” gives us an unmistakable clue that they do share a companionship and a friendship.

David Smith said that this pair seem to reflect the society of modern day and it is important to remember their loneliness and isolation, their sempiternal waiting for Godot and he finds himself wandering if this is the cause of their strong attachment for one another. Like any pair of friends, they fight and then they make up, but Vladimir and Estragon surely share the strongest want and need for each other’s presence and friendship. In fact there is a moment in the first act when Estragon violently says “I’m hungry” and Vladimir quickly offers him everything he has in his pockets – as if feeding Estragon made him happy. It is a bit patriarchal and close-minded but it has been considered that Vladimir plays the “female” role and Estragon the “male” role. It looks like their needs and wants match the other’s perfectly and this may be the reason why Beckett said that they were a “pseudo-couple” – maybe they do not want to be together all the time but they recon the other as a necessary person in order to survive. Vladimir: Gogo! Estragon: Didi! Vladimir: Your hand! Estragon: Take it! Vladimir: Come to my arms! Estragon: Your arms? Vladimir: My breast! [They embrace. They separate. Silence.] (Beckett, Samuel -Waiting for Godot, Act 2.) This dialogue – which belongs to Act 2 – roughly represents the relationship of these two characters: they doubt about each other’s actions and they fight mainly because of their isolation and boredom, but it doesn’t matter whatever happens to them, they always come back together and embrace each other.

Another fact to mention is the humour with which this passage is written. It looks like they are making fun of their friendship, they come together in a hug but they at once separate again. It is also an important fact that sometimes they do not want to be friends, but they realise they can’t leave without each other. This makes the audience doubt about the realism of the friendship. In order to think about this deeper, in this passage where they embrace, Vladimir to his chest as “breast”. Anew, it has a “feminine” connotation. David Smith said in 2009 that ‘Estragon and Vladimir are like a married couple who’ve been together too long”. This means, the couple no longer see themselves as individuals, but as one. This can also explain the fact that whenever one of them says “I’m going” none of them move. They are emotionally and physically dependent to one another. However, are these moments of tenderness that make some people question if the two characters are only friends or something more. The fact that they fight, make up, embrace each other etc reminds of a marriage.

By the end of the first act, we can notice how long they have known each other because we can read: ESTRAGON: How long have we been together all the time now? VLADIMIR: I don’t know. Fifty years maybe. After this they discuss about if they were made for each other or not, if they could have bee better off alone. But they eventually say that nothing is certain, and the first act ends with them saying “let’s go”, however, they don’t move. Then, the second act begins with Vladimir singing, apparently very happy. After realising that the pair of boots that he sees are Estragon’s, it looks like the fact of Estragon only being there with him is what gives to Vladimir the most sense of meaning of life. Another couple in the play is the one composed by Lucky and Pozzo. These two characters appear less in the play, so we poorly know their relationship. We could affirm that their relationship is a prototypical “master/servant” relationship. Even though there is one moment where their positions appear reversed . At first sight it is really ironic that Lucky is called that way, because we could discuss he has no luck. Pozzo takes Lucky around on a leash or a rope, and is forced to carry all of Pozzo’s luggage, and never allowed to rest. Lucky is extremely obedient.

The majority of Pozzo’s lines are instructions to Lucky (“Stop! Forward! Back!”). In spite of all the abuse that Lucky receives, he is still submissive. In fact, there is one line in which Pozzo says he wants to get rid of Lucky: VLADIMIR: You want to get rid of him? POZZO: I do. But instead of driving him away as I might have done, I mean instead of simply kicking him out on his arse, in the goodness of my heart I am bringing him to the fair, where I hope to get a good price for him. The truth is you can’t drive such creatures away. The best thing would be to kill them. In the revival that took place in the Royal Court Theatre in 1964, Beckett said that ‘Godot is very much about relationships between human beings’ . The writer continued to explain that some moments of the play should be tender occasions ‘of complete understanding between the two characters.’. Thus, we understand that Beckett wanted the two characters to share a relationship.

As a conclusion, I think that personal relationships have always been difficult to sustain but it is not the case of Vladimir and Estragon in Waiting for Godot. We can see how they fight, they make up, shout to each other and embrace each other all the time. I think that the relationship between Lucky and Pozzo is harder to sustain than the relationship between Estragon and Vladimir. Lucky and Pozzo share a master/servant relationship. Also, Pozzo wants to get rid of Lucky and it is very easy. On the other hand, Vladimir and Estragon want to be together because they are happy together, but Lucky and Pozzo seem to not like each other. Personally, I think that personal relationships have always been difficult to maintain. If you spend a lot of time with the same person, you will end up finding something you do not like about them. Sometimes the “thing” is a minor issue, and sometimes is bigger than we think. Regarding the statement I do think that these relationships become increasingly stranger.

Speaking Fluency

Speaking is not merely a matter of using words, but it needs a more complicated process of producing speech. Speaking is a productive skill that needs a lot of practices. In addition to listening, speaking is mostly taught to the students before reading and writing. By using spoken English, the students will be able to convey their idea. Therefore, speaking is a direct route from one mind to another and is the best way to ask a question or give an explanation. In one way, English is the language which connects people from different regions, cultures, religions, and nations. Brown and Lee (2015) claim that “English is increasingly being used as a tool for interaction among nonnative speakers”. Among the four language skills, speaking seems to play more important role in communication. Chastain (2005) views speaking “as one important element in developing each language skill and conveying culture knowledge”. Considering the significance of accuracy, more attention is drawn to fluency in achieving communicative purposes in conversations.

Also, Richards (2006) points out that fluency is the use of naturally occurring language when a speaker engages and maintains in meaningful communication. This communication would be comprehensible and ongoing in spite of limitations in one’s communicative competence. To Fillmore (2005), a fluent speaker knows what to say and how to say without frequent pauses to think. In addition, Harmer (2015) mentions that fluency refers to focusing on the content of speech to communicate as effectively as possible. Furthermore, Baily (2005) defines fluency as using language quickly and confidently, with limited hesitations, unnatural pauses, etc.

Nonetheless, the term “speaking fluency” is linked to the meaning of “communication” (Harmer, 2007). For example, in a conversation, a learner can make a grammatical error, such as Maria live in Cazenga [live vs. lives]), but the learner can still speak the sentence with some fluency. The learner can speak without searching for words, so that his or her speech is quickly understood. In fact, speaking fluency has been defined as the “automaticity and speed of speech production”. However, automaticity and speed of speech production may not always make a speech comprehensible, comprehensibility being “a measure of listeners’ perceived ease or difficulty of understanding L2 speech” (Crowther et al., 2015).

In addition, speaking fluency is determined by several components such as speech rate or number of filled and unfilled pauses, number of errors, and use of formulaic language (Bøhn, 2015). A broader definition of speaking fluency, therefore, is needed in exploratory studies. That is, speaking fluency should be more broadly defined as the learners’ ability to produce a speech that is rapid and comprehensible. In such a broad definition, searching for words is not observable. Furthermore, the grammar allows the listener to get information without ambiguities, and performance aspects of speech—such as er, erm, and ah—are used to maintain the flow of discourse (Brand & Götz, 2011).

Importance of Speaking Skills

Likewise, speaking skills empower human to create new ways of speaking to others about any topic or experience. To speak fluently, correctly with proper intonation and pronunciation especially in the second or foreign language adds to credit of the speaker. The excellence in the use of the ability to speak in second language makes the speaker a skilful communicator. Effective Communication skill is one of the standards for the teachers in many countries of world (Aslam, 2011).

Indeed, second language follows the same pattern of learning as the first language follows: preproduction (the learner only listens), early production (can use short language chunks), speech emergence (they try to initiate short conversation with friends), intermediate fluency and advanced fluency (the students are nearly-native in their ability). Use of target language to talk about language is the best strategy for learning spoken language (Maguire et al., 2010). Teacher education programs need to be strengthened for effective oral English instruction and assessment (Wedell, 2008).

Speaking Skills and Speaking Effectiveness

In addition, there are a number of factors relating to speaking skills to be considered for effective English speaking performance. Pronunciation, vocabulary, and collocations are singled out as important factors to be emphasized in building fluency for speakers. Providing students with a variety of situations and frequent speaking tasks plays a significant role in the improvement of students’ fluency when speaking. Confidence and competence usually reinforce English speaking skills. Patil (2008) asserted that building up the learner’s confidence to eliminate their fear of making errors was a priority that a teacher should consider in order to make learners feel comfortable with their language use. Confidence and competence in speaking could be developed from appropriate syllabus design, methods of teaching, and adequate tasks and materials (Songsiri, 2007).

Regarding speaking effectiveness, Shumin (2005) pointed out a number of elements involved, including listening skills, sociocultural factors, affective factors, and other linguistic and sociolinguistic competences such as grammatical, discourse, sociolinguistic, and strategic competence. Grammatical competence enables speakers to use and understand English language structures accurately and unhesitatingly, which contributes to their fluency, which, in turn, develops confidence in communication.

Speaking Happens in Real Time

During conversations, responses are unplanned and spontaneous and the speakers think on their feet, producing language which reflects this. These time constraints affect the speaker’s ability to plan, to organize the message, and to control the language being used. Speakers often start to say something and change their mind midway; which is termed a false start. The speaker’s sentences also cannot be as long or as complex as in writing. Similarly, speakers occasionally forget things they intended to say; or they may even forget what they have already said, and so they repeat themselves (Miller, 2005). This implies that the production of speech in real time imposes pressures, but also allows freedoms in terms of compensating for these difficulties. The use of formulaic expressions, hesitation devices, self-correction, rephrasing and repetition can help speakers become more fluent and cope with real time demands (Hughes, 2005). Actually, exposing students to these spoken discourse features facilitates their oral production and helps them compensate for the problems they encounter. It also helps them sound normal in their use of the foreign language.

Accordingly, Sutiyatno (2018) stated that verbal communication gives a significant positive effect on the students’ English achievement. Improving both the verbal and non-verbal behaviour in performing will enhance positive and effective interaction. In relation, Andaya Iswara, Azib, & Rochsantiningsih (2012) stated that in order to develop this communication skill the students must be active, by not only mastering the theory but also having enough practices.

Monologues: Overview

On the other hand, the Oxford English Dictionary (2019) defines monologue as a long speech by one actor in a play or a scene in a drama in which only one actor speaks. It is a generally uninterrupted speech or narrative that tells a complete story or expresses a complete line of thought. More importantly, the monologue is either literally or figuratively delivered to another character or characters, whether these characters are onstage at the time or simply part of the drama as a whole. Monologue can be planned or unplanned monologue, while dialogue consists of interpersonal and transactional. The interpersonal and transactional can be unfamiliar and familiar. Planned monologues usually manifest little redundancy and therefore are relatively difficult to comprehend. Unplanned monologues exhibit more redundancy which makes for ease of comprehension.

Importance of Monologue

Indeed, monologues give the audience and other characters access to what a particular character is thinking, either through a speech or the vocalization of their thoughts. While the purpose of a speech is obvious, the latter is particularly useful for characterization: it aids the audience in developing an idea about what the character is really thinking, which in turn helps (or can later help) explain their previous (or future) actions and behavior. In conclusion, monologues (and dialogues) are arguably the most fundamental parts of onstage drama and dramatic literature. Without them, essentially only silent film and theater could exist, as monologues provide the only way for the audience to witness a character’s thoughts.

On the other hand, Harmer (2012) stated that monologue does not only enhance the use of all the language skills but are also confidence building. It requires a clear task and time for preparation, which is followed by the performance, often extremely time consuming, though. Integration of the four skills is seen as a great advantage by Al Issa and Al Qubtain (2010), as well.

Socio-Economic Profile and English Language Learning

According to Tilbury, Clementson, Rea, Hendra, & Baigent (2013), there is a cultural hindrance to the practice of English among the youth. Many lack the self-confidence to speak English because they are afraid to make mistakes, and English is now perceived as elitist. In other words, it is perceived as yet another obstacle to social success and integration, rather than a means to achieve it. In terms of gender difference, Viriya & Sapsirin (2014) stated that males tend to be visual and females tend to be auditory. Moreover, males and females have their own style in a learning process which relates to their ability. Furthermore, dealing with female ability in speaking English, Erdiana, Bahri, & Akhmal (2019) cited that females are better than males. Female students are commonly more active and get better scores than male students.

In terms of income status, Phon (2017) suggested that students from poor families are believed to possess lower English language knowledge and skills than those from the rich and student proficiency are found different from one student to another. In like manner, Nyamubi (2019) points out that students coming from low social class families where academic needs such as availability of learning materials are often met poor performance results in English language. On the other hand, Butler (2014) stated that parents’ educational level influences their involvement to their children education. Parents with higher levels of education are also more likely to believe strongly in their abilities to help their children learn.

Media Exposure

To note, Al Zoubi (2018) stated that there was a strong impact of exposure to English language on language acquisition. Thus, students who are more exposed to English language at home may develop positive speaking fluency that those who are not too exposed. Accordingly, Yanar & Tutunis (2016) supported that there is a positive effect of mass media tools on the students speaking skills. Television with its authentic audiovisual materials, radio with its authentic audio materials, news with its authentic everyday language and the internet facilities which has all sorts of materials will be an effective way of learning and using the language. The use of these mass media teaching materials can add zest, interest and vitality to the teaching learning situation or environment. In addition to that, using authentic mass media teaching forces the students will be encouraged to be interactive, to learn faster and to remember. Mass media is materials, devices and symbols make a subject more comprehensible and interesting. They provide learners with realistic experiences (real-life situations) which gets their attention and help in understanding of the mechanics of the language. They added that mass media can supply the words which go beyond the experience of the students. The teacher, by making use of mass media can bring in authentic materials that are real and life-like.

More so, Alaga & Palencia (2015) stated that the level of exposure to media may have impact to the English language learning of the students. On the other hand, Berman, Jonides, & Kaplan (2008) supported that nature helps in emotional regulation and improves memory function. The natural effects of environment contributed the performances of the participants. More so, being outdoor reduces stress by lowering the stress hormones resulting to lessening of anxiety.

Insights Learned from the Related Literatures

In the English learning, one of the macro skills in English teaching and learning is speaking. It is the means through which learners can communicate with others to achieve certain goals or to express their opinions, intentions, hopes and viewpoints. In addition, people who know a language are referred to as ‘speakers’ of that language. Furthermore, in almost any setting, speaking is the most frequently used language skill. On the other hand, fluency is related to using all speaking skills in the context of the time-bound nature of speaking. It relies on the speaker’s ability to use facilitation skills (fillers, lexical phrases, ellipsis…etc.) and compensation skills (self-correction, rephrasing, or repeating) to cope with ongoing fast communication. Speaking skill is measured in terms of the ability to carry out a conversation in the language. Speaking is a productive skill in which speakers expresses and responses their ideas by using language. From that statement, we can see that speaking is very important in our daily activities. Speaking help us to interact one each other to give information and the other as receives information in our community.

As researchers’ view, developing speaking fluency is important in this era. In this case, the researchers will apply monologue in developing speaking fluency of the students. However, some teachers allege that the language barrier does not exist, or that it was created by people. That’s why any person who begins to learn a foreign language should not think about any possible mistakes and misunderstandings. Everything depends on the ability to concentrate on the material and being a good listener. So, at the initial level one should listen and repeat as much as it’s possible. The best way to express one’s thoughts is by simple words and phrases. One can train the ability to understand the gist of speech using key words. More than that, it’s more important to discuss interesting topics. And, of course, the conditions of communication should be comfortable.

Self-disclosure is a process of communicating any information about you to other people which is not known to them. Therefore, you will need to disclose this information so that they are aware. For example, if you tell someone that you are a tall person or you have black hair does not mean you are self-disclosing, as the other person can identify those details by looking at you. Conversely, letting them know that you love playing football or listening to Led Zeppelin would provide them with information that they would not know without you telling them.

Self-disclosure is very important in human relations as it replicates a positive attitude and is vital in maintaining healthy relationships with other people. When a person discloses about himself, trust is built, and the person also may receive a similar response in return, which will further develop a sense of equity and ultimately form a healthy bond.

There are different levels of self-disclosure depending on people’s personalities. Many people often prefer starting with a cliché conversation where no personal information is shared, like talking generally about the weather. These are most common among introverts. The next level of self-disclosure is providing a small detail about the self. For example, a person is asked to play as a goalkeeper in a soccer match, but instead, he tells them that he likes to play as a striker. Here, a small information is being disclosed to the other person. The next level is expressing ideas and judgments, where extra information is provided to others, such as giving a point of view for the game last night. Subsequently, the next level is the gut level, where information is shared directly with another person, such as appreciating them for cooking delicious food. Finally, the last level is peak communication, where intimate information is shared with others. For example, when a patient discusses his problems with his doctor.

Self-disclosing can often be difficult and people. There are various factors that can influence self-disclosure. Some of them are listed below:

• Feeling of superiority/ inferiority. A person might feel he is inferior to others, which is why he might not want to disclose himself. For example, my sister had gone for karaoke night once but did not participate in singing despite having a beautiful voice only because her friends were accomplished singers.
• Denial. A person might be in denial and feel he is better than everyone and does not need to prove anything to others and, ultimately, not disclose himself to others.
• Feeling of inadequacy. Confidence plays a vital role in self-disclosure, as without it, a person can always take himself as a failure and might want to disclose himself to others.
• A previous bad experience. A bad experience plays a huge role in losing confidence which might lead a person not to self-disclose. I had a friend who was a very good stand-up comedian, but once during his performance, a member of the audience yelled that his jokes were immature and started insulting my friend. He lost his confidence and has stopped performing since then.
• Cultural differences. It is another important factor as getting involved in a new culture is always scary and a person might take a longer time to get comfortable and self-disclose. For example, when I moved to South India, I could find a lot of cultural differences, hence I did not disclose myself to anyone, thinking my lifestyle might be unacceptable to them.

Consequently, there are ways a person can self-disclose effectively by avoiding personal disclosure, developing the foundation of self-knowledge, and understanding the cultural background.

Self-disclosing is very essential to build a healthy relationship in today’s world and not self-disclosing can lead to undesirable consequences. Some of them are listed below:

• Personal growth decline. Not self-disclosing will ultimately decline personal growth. This is very much visible while working in an office, where your manager does not know your true potential due to a lack of self-disclosure, and it will definitely hamper personal growth. I personally have had such an experience where I worked before. One of my colleagues, who is very talented, was not appreciated much by my manager as he did not disclose much about himself to anyone. This hampered his growth, as well as his relationship with others, however, he did realize it later and he managed to overcome this problem.
• Relationship damage. Lack of self-disclosure will ruin a healthy relationship. This can be a huge issue if the relationship is quite intimate.
• Wastage of time and energy. Not disclosing about yourself will lead to time loss as things could have happened much faster if the information conveyed much earlier. For example, my previous department hired software engineers. Later managers found out that few people have extensive knowledge of software and could have solved those problems. If the communication was proper between the managers and the employees, the company would have saved time, energy, as well as money.
• Losing identity. Without self-disclosure, other people do not know much information about you. This will eventually lead to identity loss.

To conclude, self-disclosure is a complicated communication process that formidably influences how the relationship with others progresses. Moreover, anything that is shared depending on time, place or people’s personality impacts the effectiveness of self-disclosure.

References

1. Self Disclosure| Introduction to Communication. (2019). Retrieved from https://courses.lumenlearning.com/suny-introductiontocommunication/chapter/self-disclosure/
2. Lamberton, L. H., & Minor-Evans, L. (2018). Human Relations, Strategies for Success. 6th Edition. McGraw-Hill Canada.
3. Derlaga, V. J., & Berg, J. H. (Eds.). (1987). Self-Disclosure: Theory, Research, and Therapy. Springer Science & Business Media.