Category: Gender and Sexuality

Not for long can the question of sexuality or its morality can be ignored. However one tried to compress but individuals are driven and lead their actions with somewhere or the other a desire for sex. Focus should be exerted on the morality of sexuality and now the changing scenarios In this arena. And not only the various investments but also how are they factored and structure keeping in mind different questions of science, administration, law and economics. The main question that strikes our mind is that if sexuality is present in numerous moralities and ways and what would be the result if it is hindered, or transitioned in the effort of making it at par neutral. How so is it or will be altered that the focuses shifts from norm to normal. It was also mentioned that ‘‘The sexual life of savages has long awaited its natural historian’.

What becomes vital is to restructure the concept of sexuality as a whole. For doing so a close examination had to be done, in which individual victims must be inquired which would then raise important pertinent questions and would also help in drawing a wholesome conclusion. Individuals might face different problems but the root almost stays the same. Even while using insights to draw conclusions one must choose those which are generally present and acceptable. “Sex’ is a vehicle for moral objectives, and the ‘‘objectification of sex’’ is a moral act. What, then, are the effects of development projects that objectify sexuality?. The goal of a sexual revolution to enable people to see regulate themselves. To get such reformation we create a shift from regulations on morality and to avoid normatively towards focussing on desires and interest of individuals for a happier lifestyle. Speaking of the previous structure what is important is awareness amongst people. There may be kinds of morality but kind of self regulation is one. One morality where in people talk about self regulation wherein don’t rape or murder can be possible only when natural needs are met. But sexual morality which talks about chastity and fertility is obsessive and is the root for the chaos that there is.

These method of analysing and drawing conclusion in turn gave rise to the greatest liberation movement for sexuality. It was also not a sudden outburst neither does it has a sudden end. It started from the 1960s till 1980s in the United State of America. The movement spread, unfurled, and escalated and has never stopped since. This was a social movement and came to be known as the ‘Sexual Revolution’. This movement didn’t only challenge the old, worn out, strict and orthodox canons of sexuality, But it also brought about new definitions for interpersonal relationships. The time was such that its oppression and speaking against it had become mandatory. It wasn’t a revolution per se but a gradual evolution. To give a general understanding of what all changed the outline of sexuality it included the acceptance to the use of contraception pills and methods, abortion, pornography, same sex relationships, nudity, public indecency, masturbation and various different notions that were before shadowed. Before 1960s it was all about sexual intimacy only between married man and woman, missionary and heterosexual. They opposed it literally and it became about a lot (only), in various ways (missionary), freedom (married) and with whomsoever (man and woman) you wanted to.

It is not the first sexual revolution there were attempts prior to that. If this is counted as the second one then the former one would be. Movement that took place in the 17th century. The “First Sexual Revolution’ (1870-1910) questioned the Victorian sexual morality. That time the youth burned the codes of Victorian Era and got coined the term the Jazz Age. Meanwhile some also perceive that the first Sexual revolution was in Ancient Rome. Promiscuity was not considered as a taboo then. During that time under the Roman Empire they legalised prostitutes, bisexuals and sexual relationship between a man and a boy at certain level. At the end what important was for them to keep them in the side and yet maintain a heterosexual reproductive relationship. During both of these times Female sexuality was not even a point of debate, sexuality term was coined for men and all women had to do was to maintain their chastity and ensure fertility.

After Industrial Revolution, Individualism and Feminist Wave this was sooner or later expected. To understand this massive social movement, one must understand the factors that led to the happening of it. During mid to late 1950s there was a strange rise and shift in the unacceptable, unorthodox sexual behaviour. There was increase in the STI diseases and teenage pregnancies and pre-marital relationship. Sexual expression, women’s sexuality and homosexuality started to be seen under a different light.

This change was influenced by a lot of psychologists, philosophers and also scientists. The sexual revolution was driven by three important findings: 1) The intellectual theory of Freud and Wilhelm Reich. 2) Empirically done sex research by Alfred Kinsey on pornographers battles, performers and writers and the emphasis on right to sexual speech. 3) And the counterculture movement, women and gays and lesbian movement.

Wilhelm Reich and Sigmund Freud from Vienna beloved in the repercussions of repression which led to internalisation. Freud was of strong believer of the drive due to libido i.e. Sexual Energy. Freud ideas were not so acclaimed in his country but it did spread all across the Europe and North America. Because Freud explained the cost one had to pay due to repression of sexuality due to the strong forces of libidinal energies. In the US, this theory of psychoanalysis was strongly supported and they accepted that this drive cannot be cured or curbed.

Meanwhile Wilhelm Reich drew out a much more radical theory. He believed that humans inherited the animal like competitive sexual nature by their ancestors. This also showed that this is something completely natural. And the ones who tried to suppress it were on the path to fascism. The ones who led this revolution were strong Reich believers. Contributions were also made by philosophers like Herbert Marcuse who followed Karl Marx and similar philosophers. Alfred Kinsey researches supported Reich. He showed that women were actually much more interested in physical intimacy than institution of marriage. These intellectuals attempted to route out the relationship between the libido, capacities (i.e anal, oral and genital sexualities) and the social institutions which would help to give a new meaning to sexuality. And also ruled out a number of myths about women’s desires.

There was impressive use of mass media, literature and films which helped in the alteration of mindsets. To make this possible the number of movements of women, LGBTQ and cross-culture contributed a lot. With a mix in cultures there was a strong emphasis on exploring one’s mind and body and to get rid from any shackles of confinement. More than the norm the focus shifted on individualism and awareness. Women started to worry about their career and education. As a result there were large number of unmarried, working women with sexual relationships before marriage.

Efforts were put into to finally study about sexuality and not just one but different sexualities between of a man and a woman. Man’s sexuality was seen as a circle of arousal, orgasm and ejaculation. Meanwhile women’s sexuality sustained a pattern of multiple experiences of orgasm. With the revolution the whispered talk about sexuality which was static and rigid became subjective and it started to be dependent on an individuals’s choice. This changed the way sexuality was perceived from something obscure to something to honour, a lifestyle. In an article it was stated that “After Industrial Revolution, Individualism and Feminist Wave this was sooner or later expected’. Feminist movements and writers like Betty Friedan helped to change how woman’s role in sex was seen as. Betty spoke against domestic violence and also believed that a housewife may not participate in sexual activity just because his husband wants to. It was against the strong feminine view that housewives even if not willing to participate she must try to enjoy it.

What really changed I’m true manners is how sexuality is now seen as. It has come out of darkness and nothing is wrong anymore. For any physical intimacy a bond or a relationship is not a prerequisite anymore. It did take time for people to be okay with it. But the concept of consent was highlighted. Everything dint change in a day, till today it is trying to settle. But the wave initiated then. Sex and eroticism became more open. It surfaced on people’s TV screens, literature and music. People started concentrating on rich sex life instead of just sex life. Then it seemed courageous to individuals to finally admit that a good sex life is vital for good health and sound mind. And also that Sex is not a sin anymore, not something one should oppress. This shift in ideology played a huge role.

From the 1960s one could see a notable changed in the manufacturing of birth control pills which made contraception normal and easily possible. And with industrial revolution there were not better and cheaper condoms which could be purchased by hundreds. And during 1940s to 1950s there was a situation of baby boom, the thinking of the youth and new adults hit the society like a big wave. But even in the time of such a change homosexuality was still seen as an illness and people were unable to accept it. Medical practitioners who worked as scientists could not be objective, their biases were still present coming from their culture and religion. They were view as dangerous and a malice to the society. Things changed after the Stonewall riots by the LGBT community in 1969 paved the way for their liberation and acceptance. And after that number of people kept increasing in the LGBTQ community.

Alongside the developments that were happening, the increasing literacy rates and decrease in religious compliance made a difference. The Biblical term to be fruitful and multiply was questioned. Religion were also compelled to follow the live and let live approach then. People were getting farther from the compliance to the past and were in the path to adopt an open, modern living structure. Not just the number of sexual encounters increased but also divorces rates were dramatically high. In fact unilateral divorce had also become legal and much more easier. All of this led men and women in the United States to think and reinstall new institutions to replace the orthodox monogamy.

As the revolution inclined it in a manner sublimed Reich’s belief of liberated sexuality. And it was seen that the change in sexual tendencies were more altered by the social movements. Two American sociologists John Gagnon and William Simon used a metaphor to describe sex. They compared it with a scripted activity which includes lines, roles, myths, cutes to enable sexual behaviour. Michel Foucault who is a theorist and historian from France went deep in the culture of history of the society. For him sexuality was something created by the social construct. He stated that sexual tendencies were not just mere repressed feelings but they are formed only because of the social historical institutions. Foucault just like Gagnon and Simon assured that sexuality is nothing but a symbolic interaction.

This revolution also had to face a lot of opposition. Religious leaders opposed this whole revolution and in respond to it installed new organisations and got place in politics by electing their own people. They were only concerned about to undone what they movement had done. There were wars between progressive intellectuals and religious conservatives which till date prevails. Due to sexual revolution the one who oppose it also said that it led to increase in the sexually transmitted diseases. Yet this revolution succeeded because it is a part of both the society and of each individual. It is something which affected everyone. And it could only be possible due to the writers and philosophers that it could bring about a change at a massive scale. It not only changed the codes of sexuality but gave it a new thinking.

The question is how has this revolution changed our society today. Parents of the new generations do notice the openness towards sexuality and children seek to talk about it openly. But they also fear the increase in the statistics and trend of young teens and adults in more number of sexual relationships. There is no diffidence for the high use of contraceptives, abortions or teen pregnancy. Before the revolution took place men used to decide sexuality and what they wanted of women which will restrained with the traits and responsibility of loyalty and obedience. After this revolution within or outside marriage sexual intimacy became possible. “The sexual revolution has also been blamed for the destruction of the traditional American family”. It went against the concept of a traditional family as women started to postpone and not heed any importance to getting married and giving birth to offsprings. And mainly this revolution is not a part of patriarchy and is an attempt to something gender neutral and also irrespective or religion. The importance is given to consent and any relationship can be accepted unless it is not of deceit. After this revolution these changes are still taking place and influencing society and politics. An article stated “However, there is no doubt that the sexual revolution of post-World War II America has changed sexual and gender roles permanently”.

Yet there will be chaos if we think with an open mind either due to excess freedom or regulation. There will be contradiction and its just a matter of time which one gets upheld. But we can not defy that sexual morality is a central aspect to every individual. And once this is accepted whole heartedly it will be a true form of liberation.

A Sexual Autobiography

An autobiography is a self-written account of the events that have taken place in one’s life (Pascal 1). A sexual autobiography on the other hand would be a personal investigation of the development of one’s sexual self. This composition tries to answer the question of ‘how did I become the sexual person I am today? According to Sidome and Watson, a sexual autobiography must consider personal development with reference to developmental theories and issues discussed in academics (p. 112). The sexual experiences in one’s life are influenced by an individual’s values, attitudes, beliefs, and behavior as experienced in intimate relationships with those around them. The composition below is my personal sexual autobiography. It provides a reflection on my sexual life from the stage of adolescence to my current relations and eventually touches on my perception of sexual associations. This essay begins with events before my birth. These experiences are worth including in my autobiography because I believe they have had an influence on my later life events and how I react to particular situations.

My sexual experiences have generally been shaped by my mother; a story I learned from the narration of a close relative. In the community in which I come from, relationships are not solely based on feelings of low. Many people have believed in superstitions about luck in marriage. Most families in the area are forced on each other as couples who have not even had a relationship. For instance, learning about my mother’s past, I realized that she was married to my father yet they had not even had any dates. The marriage was because their families wanted them to be together. Listening to my close relative describe how my mother survived in a loveless relationship, I felt that life was unfair to her because she was not given the chance to pick what she thought fit for her. To some extent, I become unhappy with the fact that I was born. However, as time passed, my views on sexuality changed. Presently, my view has transformed to believe that is not all about choosing who you want but rather it can be developed based on a long-lasting relationship because a couple can still work things out and move forward in love even when forced by those around them. Looking at my parents right now, I have seen each of them working hard to keep their marriage and have managed to successfully move forward in love.

‘Observing your mother through her pregnancy, I realized that all the shopping she made was for a boy because she preferred to have a son for her first pregnancy. At this narration, I knew that my family was extremely happy about my arrival as it would make their union even stronger. Both my parents always showed love to me and I got all the love I ever needed; perhaps the reason why I am still sexually inexperienced. Looking at my age mates now, I consider their childhood experiences to be different from mine. I realized that the reason why they are moving from one relationship to another is that most of them were never treated in a special way by their parents. For example, while I was called ‘daddy’ at home because my parents thought of me as a blessing, most of my friends were never called special names; a factor that has affected their sexual experiences. Because of the love and attention, I got from my parents, my adolescence period was not characterized by sexual desires and fantasies. I would be amazed at my friends who had such crazy feelings because I never felt them within me.

During adolescence, most of my friends would spend unlimited time with females as they increasingly talked about sexual fantasies and escapades. I did not get my body interested and so I never felt any crazy feelings in my body. Although I heard my friends speaking highly about sex, I never anticipated the first encounter because at home my mother always emphasized being satisfied with the love I got from home. Other than being satisfied with the love I got from my parents, I grew up in a society where HIV was a serious issue and was everywhere. With the distant relatives we lived with, a lot of them got affected. I saw the suffering and pain they went through and I became scared that I even refused to be around girls. It was later that I realized I was being stupid after being educated on HIV and how it is spread. Even after being educated, I did not wish to be in any relationship that was not founded on honesty and trust; attributes that I am yet to find among my potential. To shape my dislike for sexual relations, I personally saw a friend’s relationship broken because the girl was dating another man and my friend at the same time and even infected him with a deadly disease. This experience complicated my view on sexual relations.

As I mentioned earlier in this autobiography, I was initially wanted in my family especially by my mother because I was born a boy and my mother anticipated a boy. Therefore, as growing up, I had feelings of being wanted and appreciated since my mother openly expressed being pleased with me. Consequently, instead of looking for someone who would tell me how handsome and good-looking I was in my early childhood, I was busy spending time with my mother who would hold me in a way to feel loved and spoil me with words of affection. In addition, I did not have time to even wonder how intimacy occurs and the idea of having to undress in front of a woman scared me. My behavior and views towards sex at this time could be explained by the Operant conditioning theory by Skinner. According to Skinner, operant conditioning theory explains a method of learning that happens through rewards and punishments for a particular behavior (p. 3). Through operant conditions, one learns to associate a particular behavior with a specific consequence. For instance, during my adolescence stage and from the experience of living with HIV-infected persons, I came to associate sex with negative consequences such as sexually transmitted infections, heartbreaks, and pain from dishonest partners. Perhaps it is because of associating sex with negative experiences that I became less attracted to persons of the opposite sex and is much likely why I have zero sexual involvement.

Other than being born into a family that loved and appreciated me, my feelings towards sex were influenced by the fact that I was born in a Christian home. Interacting with my adolescent friends who got into risky sexual behaviors, I realized that most of their mothers dread having sex conversations with them. However, for my family, it was very essential to have this talk especially since there were sexual predators on every corner. When I got into adolescence, my mother in her usual behavior of showing love taught me about sex in the context of a loving marriage. Both my parents emphasized that sex is only meant for married couples. Just like the church I came from, my religion through the help of my parents instilled in me kingdom virtues by talking about God’s value for sex. Through my religion, I learned that God created sex to be experienced in the setting of Holy Matrimony and when in marriage it can be a source of great pleasure. By doing this, my religion through the help of my parents taught me to manage my sexual desires until I got into a loving marriage. Instead of telling me how sex is an ‘evil’ or ‘dirty’ thing, my parents emphasized how sex is a beautiful thing that God designed to be between a husband and a wife who wants to be closer and build trust in their marriage.

My religion and family beliefs helped also in shaping my current sexual attitudes which are similar to that of my parents. With the information on God’s intention about sex, my sexual attitude has been the same presently compared to the past. One sociological theory that can be used to describe my lack of experience in sex today is the symbolic interaction theory. Symbolic interactionism is a term invented by Blumer with the purpose of describing sociological and social psychological thoughts about self (Blumer). According to this theory, the self is a reflection of society and its relationship with society. Interactionists developed this theory with a focus on the meanings associated with sexual orientation and sexuality (Brickell 417). Consequently, because of the constant communication with my parents and members of my religion, my current stance on sex is a product of learning what is expected of me by God. Therefore, because I am not yet married, I will stay inexperienced until the right time that God designed for me to engage in sex reaches.

Living in a religious society, being appreciated by my family, and seeing the negative consequences people go through when they engage in premarital or extramarital affairs gave me lots of realistic experiences that have continued to shape my attitudes towards sex. If I were to be put in the position of my relatives and friends who have suffered, fortunately, I would still know what to do. Through all these experiences, I have learned one thing; that sex was not designed to bring with it negative consequences but rather peace and unity among two people who have been joined together. If I had to make a decision, I would prefer to stay inexperienced than to go against the will of God and the lessons I got from my parents.

In my opinion, people at any age could decide to experience new things in dating but unless a couple is intimate in God’s design, penile-vaginal intercourse could bring negative consequences. As a student in college where intimate relationships are everywhere, I believe sex is not important unless two individuals are just getting to know each other. It is unfortunate that the media is spreading a message on safe sex, asking youths to engage in safe/protected sex without letting them know that their sex situation could get worse if it is not in line with the principles of the kingdom. Safe sex should not be the basis of any sexual topics but rather the consequences of engaging in sex early should be taught more not to scare youths from sexual activities but to let them know their worth.

As for me, sex does not need to be at the center of any relationship and I wish every young and unmarried person would know that. However, after sitting and communicating with my parents, I realize that my understanding of sexuality is exceptional. As a man, I know I am expected to be masculine enough by satisfying the sexual needs of my partner. With this expectation, I will continue to be patient until the right time, to avoid useless disappointments. Therefore, good sex first begins by knowing what is right and valuing oneself by waiting for God ordained time. As I have discussed above, my mother really took her time to educate me not about sexual partners or sex itself or contraceptives but on Kingdom principles. Because we were very close, she did not just tell me about how bad the act was without going into details. It is these details that have helped preserve myself from heartbreaks, sexually transmitted infections, and the abusive nature of relationships I have seen people close to me go through.

Works Cited

1. Blumer, Herbert. Social Psychology, In Emerson P. Schmidt, ed., Man and Society. New York: Prentice-Hall, 1937.
2. Brickell, Chris. A Symbolic Interactionist History of Sexuality. Rethinking History, vol. 10, no. 3; 2006, pp. 415-432.
3. Pascal, Roy. Design and Truth in Autobiography. Cambridge, Harvard University Press, 1960.
4. Sidome, Smith. & Watson, Julia. (eds), Women, Autobiography, Theory: A Reader, Madison, 1998.
5. Skinner, Burrhus. Fredrick. The Behavior of organisms: An experimental analysis. New York: Appleton-Century, 1938.

Sexting in this day and age is communion in teens because we don’t get taught how bad sexing s what it is and the effects that it could have on you and others around you the law on sexting is you cannot do it under 18 if you do it, class, as making child porn also if your over 18 and send a dirty text or a nude picture it could come under harassment and you could be charged for sexual harassment everyone who is caught doing it underage will also be charged as an adult. Sharing dirty text or a nude is ages the law even if you are of age it comes down to privacy laws. If caught these are some of the consequences you could be found 1k to 10k for your first offence and even 25 years in jail no matter what your age is

What is sexting? Sexting could be anything from inappropriate emojis to a text hinting at sexual activities even under where pictures are sexting.

What are some ways to stop someone from sexting you? There are many different ways you could report it to the app you are using or you could go to your parents or police also there are more ways such as you could steer the chat in a less sexy way offer a simple blunt refuse or make a Make an alternate suggestion

What to do if you have been sent a sext. You should tell them you are not interested and make sure you dealt with the sext because having it and if you are under 18 it is making child porn when you ask them to stop and it keeps happing it is time to report it to someone who can help

How common is sexting with teens? Studies say at least 24% of high school kids have sent a nude and 69% of that has been to a partner but 40% often suggest something sexual over text that is boys and girls between the age of 13-17

Why is sexting so common? In 2019 we still have next to nothing education on sexting and kids these days are getting phones at the age of 4 and no one is ever told things about sexting such as what is it and how can it impact you which makes it easy for someone to make a mistake and ruin our life with something they don’t think is wrong

What would I do to help stop sexting? I would teach kids about sexting from a young age so they know the impacts of sexting and how much common people are out there for nudes and show them ways to shut them down so they can say claim and just get rid of it and report what was sent to them teens don’t understand sexting because it’s no taught in school and a lot of parents don’t even know.