Category: Friendship

Men and women typically carry very different expectations and predispositions into their cross-signature of friendship. Getting emotional closeness in both sexual orientations (Heterogenous) involved trust and intimacy (Felmlee, Diane et.al 2012). Men and women can be friends, but one source stated that it’s somehow inappropriate because it can incite jealousy in a romance (O’Meara, 1989; Rawlins, 1982). A wide generalization is that men and women both have assortative friend preferential treatment – they tend to befriend individuals with characteristics like their own (McPherson, Smith-Lovin, and Cook, 2001; Vigil, 2007). However, men’s and women’s friendships differ in important ways. Some people involve in sexual magnetism toward their opposite-sex friends (Kaplan & Keys, 1997; O’Meara, 1989; Rose, 1985), and a considerable number of cross-sex friendships end because of physical distance or failed attempts at romance (Werking, 1994). Previous studies propose that friends do not publicly talk about dating and sexual issues with their cross-sex friends (Afifi & Guerrero,1998; Afifi & Burgoon, 1998). Some men and women even report that talks about how they actively take in their friends about their romantic relationship involvement with their partners (Bleske-Rechek, Matteson, Gragg, & Stocco, 2006). The goal of this study is to know how attitude affects the friendship of both men and women.

According to Kalmjin (2002), the chance of having opposite-sex friend escalate gender role attitude and a high degree of isolation, when it comes to women opportunity structure has the biggest effect followed by the life course and individual characteristic, while for men the characteristic for them is the most important followed by their life course and opportunity, thus this differentiates the attitude of both cross-gender friendships. Based on Godwin et.al (2002), both men and women prefer friendships that are characterized by emotional expressiveness, trust, and unconditional support. Interaction between cross-gender might aid both males and females to share essential qualities and preferences of their gender with the other (Bronkema,2014). The finest friendships are cleared by the sense of increased knowledge, self-respect, faith, and self-disclosure of both company (Frey, et al. 2016) female friendship vary slightly from male friendship, women tends to close only self-disclosure, while men achieve close to both self-disclosure and participating in activities (Fehr, 2004) that can change their attitude towards each other. The major challenges that cross-gender friendship to consult together are the type of emotional bonds they experience in their relationship, the challenge of the issue of sexuality towards them, handling the difficulty of gender inequality and the public relation as well, this is the nature of having cross-gender norms facing the judgment of society (O’meara, 1989). Cross-gender friendships can be defined as a “non-romantic, non-familial, personal relationship between man and woman.” Differences between men and women in friendship focus on the social and cultural context of gender. Friendship represents an important social-relational arena for the enactment of cultural messages and beliefs regarding gender. People do gender while engaging with their friends (West and Zimmerman 1987), and friendship represents a place where gender and inequality are enacted regularly.

​According to Helgeson et.al (1992), it is necessary to recognize first that men and women hold very similar ideas about what it means to be close to someone or to have a best friend that is opposite to their gender. Both men and women prefer friendship that can help them grow, express their emotions, and can support them in their career or any situation especially when they need someone to be there for them. Gondwe (2018) stated that friendship between men and women is a great development but it has boundaries, unlike friendship with the same gender. There have been several findings that women who keep male companies instead of their same-gender company are happier. Women feel comfortable with men as their close buddies suffer little stress from their friendship compared to those whose close friends are female. The preference of cross-gender friendship closeness for females were more strongly tied to their positive attitudes toward enacting and receiving more touch, enacting and receiving caretaking touch, and perceiving touch as more, when compared to males. Females were more motivated not to touch their cross-gender friends in public regardless of intimacy perceptions and did not positively perceive haven touch if they did not have a romantic partner. It is pursued that men’s and women’s attitudes toward touch in cross-gender friendships separate due to evolved differences related to how they are socialized to perceive their roles in cross-gender friendships, this is stated by Ranjit (2014).

​Other researchers tend to centralize the gender rules and roles towards same and cross-sex friendships. This manuscript aims to know the correlational analysis of attitude towards sexual orientation. How their minds and the sex of the person affect their attitude and how they behave towards each other. This span of knowledge helps people to know the difference in attitudes and what attitudes will change when they socialize with the opposite gender.

​This study can be served as useful information and a guide for future researchers to determine how and why gender can change the attitude of a person and affects the flow of their friendship. The researcher’s purpose in knowing the correlational analysis of attitude towards sexual orientation by using the Pearson product-moment correlation coefficient or the Pearson R is to know the connection between sex and attitude, to minimize the misconception of the society, to change the perception of friendship between men and women, to have a better understanding between same-sex and cross-sex friendship.

Previous research within this field have found discrepancies on what factors are truly important to university friendships. They have found proximity appears to be the most consistent factor contributing to friendships forming, however, in regard to emotional support and depth within friendships there has been inconsistent findings. The purpose of this study is to identify the key, important components of friendship among university students through thematic analysis of two semi-structured interviews. Analysis suggests that the ability to express your true self within your friendships at university not only strengthens the bond formed but makes them stand out as closer than any other friendships. This allows for a deeper connection between individuals as they learn about the true natures and behaviors of those, they consider friends. The implications of this study would be the ability to help give some advice on how to approach making new friends when transitioning into university.

Literature Review

Many modern studies regarding friendship have been in relation to the wider context. Such as Giddens (1992) who expressed a new rise in bonds referring to them as ‘pure relationships’. Within this he suggested that relationships only lasted if mutual benefits occurred which had the ability satisfy both individuals, Giddens beliefs (as cited in Brooks, 2007) have emphasis on the need for emotional communication and disclosure. This area of research into modern relations has a large gap when regarding newly emerging adult relationships, such as university friendships, allowing new scope for this qualitative research. Although some studies have tried to find how university friendships fall into this newly emerging idea of how friendships are formed, it has been found to not be as applicable (Brooks, 2007). Brooks found the predominant factor impacting university friendships was context dependent. He found that although other factors, such as, proximity and claimed emotional support were present, the majority of the students had highly context dependent relationships which did not adhere to the original ‘pure relationships’ structure. A further study (Heath and Cleaver, 2003) found a partially different result when studying student housing. Although in agreement over the impact of proximity they found that university friendships have a larger importance compared to past friendships they would have formed. They explained how this new close proximity with friends results in a deeper connection as it would be the first time living with those not in their immediate family. This study suggests there is a need to study this area of what is truly important for university friendships as there appears to be discrepancies within previous research. By studying this area to find a more conclusive answer to what is important within university friendships it can help guide new and more successful prevention strategies to help with student loneliness and isolation. The success of prevention strategies within university dorms has been discussed within Fondacaro et al. (1984) which found that the administration within dorms is widely successful in increasing student wellbeing and decreasing student loneliness. It showed how the development of friendship networks allow for reducing isolation from living in new dorms.

Method

Theorizing the Production of Knowledge

The researcher holds a critical realism viewpoint as they believe there is a universal reality which you can gain insight on through participants personal and subjective accounts. This would be applied to the research through how they link the participants realities together. The researcher holds a positivism epistemology viewpoint which means they believe you can access true human behavior through research. This means they would see the data collected through the interviews as the participants true reality.

Participants and Recruitment

Two female participants were selected through opportunity sampling; they were recruited through email invitations. They had to be university students and so both fall within the age range of 19-22. As this is a qualitive account a sample size of two was selected to ensure rich data could be collected which would represent as close to the participants true reality.

Data Collection

A semi-structured interview, which consisted of 9 questions, was chosen for the data collection. This was so the researcher could have the ability to ask further questions. It ensured key details were elaborated on, allowing in depth accounts to be collected in ways which the questions would not have originally anticipated. As Bjørnholt and Farstad (2012) explains a semi-structured interview can result in “the production of rich data, including observational data”. The interview was conducted online using zoom in order to adhere to Covid-19 restrictions.

Data Analysis

A thematic analysis was chosen for the data collected from the interviews. A thematic analysis was most suited for the data as it allows for interpretation of themes beyond the immediate experience of the participants (Guest et al., 1963). This was completed through 5 phases (Braun and Clark, 2006). Phase 1 was completed both through handwritten work and digital transcription, as the researcher identified codes through highlighting documents but digitally annotated the initial codes. The second phase was listing the codes the researcher had identified, this was listed digitally alongside generated definitions. Once a list was formulated it allowed for phase three where the researcher mapped out the codes with how they linked together forming themes. These themes were then condensed and mapped out with their corresponding codes and quotations. Both phase three and four were completed by hand.

Ethics

Informed consent was collected and recorded before the interview progressed, the participant had an information pack about the study 24 hours before it began to ensure a full understanding. As the data was recorded to it was password protected and deleted within 7 days. To reduce any possibility of causing harm the participants were debriefed and directed towards wellbeing support if they felt it was needed.

Reflection

As I am a university student who is friends with both participants it gives me first-hand experience of what they discussed within their interviews. The result of this could be limiting as it may change how comfortable each participant was sharing their answers within the interview, especially as the topic would involve, in some ways, discussing my involvement with them and how they view our friendship. Similarly, this factor may have caused changes in stories or reflections as they are having to describe them to someone they will see again and who may know who they are talking about. As the researcher, knowing the participants did add a level of discomfort especially when discussing the hindrances within their university friendships. However, I feel this did have a positive impact at they would have felt more comfortable within the interview and as a result more likely to share parts of themselves or their friendships which they may not have with a stranger. This would have allowed me to have a more accurate and detailed analysis.

Analysis

Theme: True Self Within University Friendships

The theme of true self is reflected in each participants accounts as they discuss how their stronger bonds within university are due to feeling more themselves around certain individuals. This importance of showing your true behavior was discussed as the distinguishing factor between friendships formed due to convenience and friendships formed through choice. It was described as what made friendships have more trust.

“Other friends are more chosen, so you get a lot closer with them as you can act how you would normally act alone or with old school friends with them. When you have to go out of your way to make friends it forces you find people you relate to on a deeper level”.

The main factor discussed by Penelope is how they have the ability to act their true self around their closer university friends which can be seen within “act how you would normally act alone”. This ability to act how you would alone suggest there is a lack of judgement from them removing the issue of covering or hiding parts of yourself resulting in a closer and more solid friendship forming. The phrasing used not only shows how it is their true self they are sharing but also how this is an important factor they aspire to have to allow a deeper connection. This is presented as a new hindrance they have faced since going to university which was not seen as an issue, they had within old school friendships. This can be seen in how acting the way they would with “old school friends” is linked as the same as “how you would normally act alone”.

Subtheme: Depth Within University Friendships

The subtheme of depth corresponds with how exposing your true self allows for your friends to understand parts of you which you would not usually show. It is the transition from knowing lots of different parts of a person (breadth) to knowing more key details about the personal aspects of their life.

“Someone in my flat tells me about parts of their family life which are private, this makes me feel closer to them as I feel I can share similar experiences of my own”.

Participant one’s quote explains how to share your true self you need to expose deeper parts, “which are private”. This increase in depth within the friendship would cause the bonds to be stronger as each individual understands the other to a greater level as shown by “I feel I can share similar experiences of my own”, this allows for a unique vulnerability of self which creates a closeness you would not experience with all friendship.

Discussion

The most important factor found within university friendships was the ability to show you true self and express deepness that you would not show to anyone. Coinciding with a secondary theme found of proximity, these factors could be viewed as the result of the Covid-19 pandemic as students are encouraged to solely socialize with those in their accommodation who will see them in more private states. As a result, this would cause a deeper more personal connection to form. Similarly, only socializing with those you live with would cause less academic basis for friendship and more emotional factors to be involved. This finding supports previous work on the maintenance of modern friendships being dependent on disclosure and openness (Giddens, 1992) as it shows how mutual benefits of emotional communication are essential for a modern friendship. The implication of this research is the ability to reinforce what has been found by previous researchers as the findings are conclusive with theirs. Together with previous research it can allow for a basis on where to begin when forming intervention help or guides for those transitioning into university, so they have more of an understanding on how to seek new friendship.

Limitations

The key limitation within this research was that the participants were both university students who transitioned during the Covid-19 period giving them, theoretically, an entirely unique experience of forming friendship. This would mean the analysis found would be less applicable to generalize to all university students and as a result the data collected has a less impactful meaning when answering the research question. Additionally, a further limitation is the focus on the maintenance of friendships opposed to the formation. This leaves a gap in the understanding of what is important in university friendships and indicates a flaw in the methodology.

Suggestions for Future Research

Future research into this area should involve investigating how the Covid-19 pandemic has impacted students’ abilities to form and maintain friendships. As this is a newly emerging, modern issue it would be a unique area to discover how it may have shaped and changed how the students view what is important within their own friendships. This topic was briefly discussed within the interviews but not to enough depth to consider.

In the 19th century, the practice of romantic friendships was commonplace between both men and women. It was a different time which Leila J. Rupp details in her book, A Desired Past. Rupp explains, “Marriage might represent the union of two unlike halves, but intense, passionate relationships between two similar souls thrived in addition to and, for women, alongside marriage (Rupp, 43). I will seek to show that romantic friendships were very important in the lives of both men and women in the 19th century. In addition, I will show that the historical context at the time allowed for these friendships to develop and thrive.

First, I wanted to begin with a definition of a romantic friendship. A romantic friendship is characterized as a passionate, intense, loving, physically affectionate but not sexual relationship. These relationships could last from childhood through adolescence and through old age (Rupp, 1999, p. 38). Although it was not characterized as being sexual there were instances in which it could become so in romantic friendships involving both men and women.

The root of romantic friendships and their acceptance can be traced back to the industrialization of the 19th century. As Rupp states, there were key forces that led to romantic friendships the first being that the family became less central as an economic unit (Rupp, 1999, p. 40). This led to people having fewer children and the utilization of contraception and abortion. This made it harder for “guardians of sexual morality” to say that reproduction was the sole purpose of sexuality and removed an argument against nonreproductive sex acts engaged in by same-sex partners (Rupp, 1999, p. 40). This opened the door for the acceptance of romantic friendships between the same sexes.

Also fueling romantic friendships was economic and social separation. Men were working in the factories while most women stayed home doing things such as weaving and spinning. This served to foster an ideology regarding women and men with regard to their sexuality. Men were considered very sexual which was not a new concept. But a paradigm shift came about when it came to female sexuality. As Rupp states, “The double standard was nothing new, but traditionally women in Western society had been viewed as just as sexual as men-or even more so” (Rupp, 1999, p. 41). This view shifted in the 19th century as the conception that women were basically passionless and asexual become a widely held belief. This view along with the separation of economic and social activities encouraged the forming of same-sex romantic friendships and relationships.

When looking at these friendships between women they grew often out of “… female-controlled rituals” (Rupp, 1999, p. 45). These include birth and marriage and meetings in boarding school and college. These friendships at times became referred to as “Boston Marriages” in which two female friends decided against marriage and moved in together to start a life together As referenced before, romantic friendships between women came about in part due to the changing view of women’s nature. Instead of being seen as being just as sexual as men they were seen as emotional and essentially asexual. This allowed romantic friendships between women to thrive even though at a different point in time, say in modern times, it may have been viewed as a lesbian relationship.

Men also had romantic friendships but there were some noticeable differences within these relationships. Rupp explains that, unlike women who could live together in “Boston Marriages” and could sustain relationships into old age, there were different expectations for men. “…Society expected their friendship to change with adulthood and marriage because success in the middle-class male professional and business worlds called for competitive spirit quite at odds with such youthful devotion” (Rupp, 1999, p. 47). This indicates a different standard was set between women and men when it came to relations with the same sex.

Looking further into romantic friendships between men we can see that the bonds that formed between these men were different but just as deep as the ones formed between women. Rupp describes the story of Albert Dodd and Anthony Halsey who were in love and slept in the same bed (Rupp, 1999, p. 46). Albert referred to Anthony as his “adored Anthony,” “my most beloved of all,” and “so handsome” (Rupp, 1999, p. 46). Romantic friendships between men even appeared in print in Herman Melville’s Moby Dick. These instances indicated that romantic friendships between men and women were flourishing during this time. A time in which the term such as homosexual had not been coined yet to what in our current society may have been labeled.

Continuing the discussion regarding romantic friendships between men, these relationships could include kissing, hugging and even sharing a bed. Rupp states, that these actions “…could be done openly, with no self-consciousness, because these were expressions of emotional intimacy and not sexuality” (Rupp, 1999, p. 48). Even President Abraham Lincoln had engaged in a romantic friendship as he shared a bed with a man named Joshua Speed for 4 years. This has caused many in modern times to label the president as “gay.” But in the historical context of the 19th century, this would not be correct as male intimacy was understood in such as different way (Rupp, 1999, p. 48). We can not compare different eras but instead must understand them in the context of their times.

When it comes to further context regarding romantic friendships there were other factors at play. Not only that such romantic friendships were accepted by society, but they also had class undertones. According to Rupp, “The extended youth of middle-class men and the leisure of middle-class women played a central role in shaping romantic friendships, while the association of sexuality with working-class preserved the presumed asexuality of these relations” (Rupp, 1999, p. 50). So, two factors were at play here. First asexuality was afforded to these relationships due to sexuality being equated to the working class and not the middle class. This indicates a class divide in the understanding of sexuality. In addition, the extension of the youth of young men which they did not marry and the leisure of women who spent most of their time at home or in the company of women, contributed to the acceptance of these romantic friendships in the 19th century.

Romantic friendships were also multi-faceted in the aspect that at times they did include sexual aspects at time. Rupp details this in the re-telling of the romantic friendship between Thomas Jefferson Withers to James H. Hammond in letters in 1826. These letters included “forthright eroticism” in which Withers wrote, “and whether you yet have the extravagant delight of poking and punching a writhing Bedfellow with your long freshen pole-the exquisite touches of which I have often had the honor of feeling” (Rupp, 1999, p. 50). In this letter, Rupp states, “In any case, the Withers-Hammond letters throw into question the innocence of male love in the nineteenth century” (Rupp, 1999, p. 51). This indicated that romantic friendship was multi-faceted in many aspects. Although socially acceptable at the time as non-sexual friendships there were instances that blurred the line between friendship and relationship. This goes to the very core of the complicated nature of human sexuality.

This complicated nature of romantic friendships also applied to female friendships. As Rupp explains it was no surprise that there could be sexual aspects to these romantic friendships of men, as men were seen as inherently more sexual (Rupp, 1999, p. 51). But there were also documented instances where female romantic friendships also had a sexual component to them. A case of that was between two African american women, Addie Brown, and Rebecca Primus in the 1860s. Brown was a freeborn domestic servant while Primus was a schoolteacher, and they were able to form a relationship “…across the chasm of class” (Rupp, 1999, p. 51). This was notable as most romantic friendships of the time were between middle-class women with other middle-class women. But nonetheless, the two were able to form a deep bond of romantic friendship that had aspects that could be sexually construed. There was evidence of at least touching of breasts revealed by correspondence between the two (Rupp, 1999, p. 51). Addie also said she preferred Rebecca’s kisses to those of the African American head of the household where she worked (Rupp, 1999, p. 52). Addie longed to live with Rebecca but sadly it would never be as Addie reluctantly married and stopped her correspondence with Rebecca (Rupp, 1999, p. 53).

These past records of romantic friendships give the indication that romantic friendships were a very important part of many women’s and men’s life during the early 19th century. This was before the era when the word homosexual had been coined and the terms invert had become a concept. There was more freedom for men and women to pursue these friendships than in modern times and even later in the 19th century would have been a homosexual relationship. Absent of that, men and women were able to be in these friendships and form deep bonds between members of the same sex. These bonds were long-lasting, lasting until the span of life for many.

As we can see many factors shaped the phenomenon of romantic friendships in the 19th century. Increasingly industrialization, separation by class and economics, and leisure of middle-class women were all part of the historical contexts that led to romantic friendship development. Societies’ view of women as asexual emotionally also led to society’s acceptance of these relationships along with the extended youth of middle-class men. These relationships held great importance in the lives of many men and women in the 19th century and at their essence showed the ability for men and women to form deep bonds of affection and friendship with those of the same sex.

Relationships that a person forms with friends are necessary for one’s social integration because, without social interaction with others and the formation of friendships, one would not have the social skills needed to navigate the world and those around them. We know that girls and boys have a tendency to gravitate, especially at a young age, to friends of the same sex or gender presentation. However, heterosexual cross-sex friendships are likely to raise questions about the possibility of platonic relationships. These kinds of friendships beg the question of whether strictly platonic cross-sex friendships are able to exist and be satisfactory for each participant. Along with the possibility of a healthy, platonic relationship, I want to explore what positive and negative effects cross-sex friendships have on those involved, and also what variables affect the maintenance of positive and satisfactory friendships of this sort.

To identify factors relating to the quality of cross-sex friendships, we can look at Cum Kwing Cheung and Catherine McBride-Chang’s article Relations of Gender, Gender-Related Personality Characteristics, and Dating Status to Adolescents’ Cross-Sex Friendship Quality. This article discusses how instrumentality and expressivity are involved in the perceived quality of cross-sex friendships among adolescents. We learned about these two terms in lectures and how men are more instrumental (assertive, dominating, and rational) and women are more expressive (more emphasis on relationships, expressing feelings, and sensitivity The authors hypothesized that, due to our society’s socialization of boys and girls, adolescent girls may be more likely than boys to seek emotional closeness with cross-sex friends and that girls would be able to gain the benefits of help and security from male friends. It could also be assumed that boys would seek out friendships with girls to obtain a greater sense of closeness than with same-sex friends. Gender can be seen here connecting to the perceived benefits and rewards one would receive from a cross-sex friend that would differ from the rewards of a same-sex friend.

Participants in this study completed a questionnaire. To measure levels of expressivity and instrumentality participants were instructed to indicate on a 7-point Likert scale the extent to which 16 adjectives (8 relating strongly to instrumentality and 8 relating strongly to expressivity) best described them. To assess cross-sex friendship quality a version of the Friendship Qualities Scale was used by providing 23 questions relating to 5 different dimensions of friendship: companionship, closeness, help, security, and conflict (Cheung and McBride-Chang 60).

Results of this study showed partial support for the hypothesis that girls would report higher levels of companionship, closeness, help, security, and conflict in their cross-sex friendships over boys. The study found that compared to boys, girls only reported higher levels of help, security, and conflict. There didn’t appear to be significant gender differences in levels of companionship and closeness. Results for the hypotheses focused on instrumentality and expressivity found again only partial support. This study showed that instrumentality correlated to all five components of cross-sex friendship quality but expressivity was only a significant correlate of four, not including conflict (Cheung and McBride-Chang 65). Results of this study also contained some support for social role theory in that males tended to report more male-gendered expectations of instrumentality (strength and power) while females reported more female-gendered expectations of expressivity (help and security) (Cheung and McBride-Chang 66). Based on this study we can determine that parental investment as well as social role theory have an effect on the quality of cross-sex friendships in seeing that both instrumentality and expressivity correlated to both closeness and security among both genders in cross-sex friendships.

Michael Miller and Amanda Denes discuss parental investment and the socialization of perceived gender roles in their article Touch Attitudes in Cross-sex Friendships: We’re just friends. The idea from parental investment theory that men desire a number of mates in hopes of maximizing healthy offspring and women focus more on building a relationship with one mate who will provide care and protection may tell us more about differences in ways men and women form these friendships. They present their research in the form of an empirical literature review and findings from an online survey. In writing this review the authors hypothesized that male and female attitudes toward touch amongst cross-sex friends would vary in relation to parental investment theory.

This study collected data through an online survey. The research was gathered on two topics of cross-sex friendship touch: touch scales, and intimacy. Touch scales were measured using four of Brennan and colleagues’ seven scales of touch and these responses were used to determine participant’s attitudes toward different styles of touch (sexual, public, safe-haven touch) among cross-sex friends (Miller and Denes 315). Within the four scales, there were a number of questions (2-8) relating to each one and participants responded on a Likert scale of 1-7 to describe whether or not they agreed with the questions.

The findings of this study revealed that men have less desire for touch with women when they feel increasing intimacy, whereas women have more desire for touch with men along with the perceived increase in intimacy (Miller and Denes 318). This connects to ideas about parental investment in that men may retreat if they sense intimacy leading towards monogamy since the theory claims that men inherently desire multiple partners to facilitate a higher probability of offspring survival. Another supporting aspect of these findings in regard to parental investment theory is that men tend to be more aroused by touch in cross-sex friendships based on the theory’s emphasis on a male’s focus on mating with multiple partners (Miller and Denes 319).

In the article Relational Maintenance in Cross-Sex Friendships Characterized by Different Types of Romantic Intent by Laura K. Guerrero and Alana M. Chavez, the authors explore how romantic intention, biological sex, and uncertainty are associated with maintenance behavior in cross-sex friendships. In this study, college-age students were given a questionnaire that included different behaviors attributed to heterosexual cross-sex friendships (Guerrero and Chavez 344). These questions related to relational maintenance behaviors, friendship situations, relational uncertainty and sex, effects of friendship type, and associations between maintenance behavior and relational uncertainty.

The authors of this study concluded that compared to men, female respondents tended to report more emotional and instrumental support and positivity within cross-sex friendships (Guerrero and Chavez 348). Findings of this study support Cheung and McBride-Chang’s results relating to instrumentality and expressivity since females were more likely to receive more instrumental support from men and vice versa.

Heidi Reeder studied the impacts of gender role orientation on same and cross-sex friendship formation. In her article The Effect of Gender Role Orientation on Same and Cross-Sex Friendship Formation she found that gender role orientation does have an impact on cross-sex friendships. For the sake of my research, we will ignore her findings on same-sex friends, as I am only focused on the aspect of cross-sex friendships. She acknowledges that differently, gendered relationship rewards may have an effect on who can provide the most benefits for a specific gender.

The study on whether gender role orientation has an impact on the formation of same and cross-sex friendships was conducted by use of a questionnaire, consisting of several sections. The first used a version of the Bem Sex Role Inventory to measure traditional gender role orientation. The second part of the questionnaire assessed three variables: relative frequency of same and cross-sex friendship formation, preference for same or cross-sex friends, and closeness to same and cross-sex friends.

The results of this study found a correlation between gender role orientation and the inclination for cross-sex friendships. The study showed that more feminine people (either male or female) had a significantly higher percentage of female friends and that more masculine people had a higher percentage of male friends (Reeder 147). From these results, we can assume that feminine people seek out female friends and vice versa because people feel more comfortable engaging with someone with certain similarities. In class lectures, we learned about relationship rewards and Reeder relates this notion of rewards to cross-sex friendships saying that some people in cross-sex friendships believe that they gain greater benefits from these types of relationships over same-sex friendships. Connecting Reeder’s findings to Cheung and McBride-Chang’s theory of benefits and rewards, we can find similarities in cross-sex friendships gaining specific rewards from differently gendered individuals.

Reeder also found that gender role orientation affects the frequency in which individual forms cross-sex friendships and also that sex played a role in determining friendship closeness, noting that males and females alike tended to be closer to female friends. We could relate this to the socialization perspective since females tend to be higher in expressivity, both males and females find a greater sense of comfort among female friends. As Cheung and McBride-Chang pointed out, only females reported a sense of conflict within male friendships, therefore it can be assumed that overall, friendships with females tend to contain less conflict or negativity.

On the topic of platonic vs. romantic friendships, William Hart, John Adams, and Alexa Tullett from the University of Alabama conducted a study to determine the degree of platonic vs. intimate feelings within cross-sex friendships. The authors discuss multiple previous studies in which males and females share similar or varying beliefs regarding optimism for platonic cross-sex friendships. For their particular study, 418 undergrad students participated in the form of an online questionnaire, involving questions relating to perceptions of sexual interest within cross-sex friendships and whether males and females can “just be friends.”

Their results suggested that both males and females are similarly optimistic about the maintenance of a strictly platonic cross-sex friendship (Hart et al. 197). This study, like that of Cheung McBride-Chang and Reeder, determined that cross-sex friendships can appear to offer different benefits relating positively to instrumentality and expressivity (different perspectives, openness, security, closeness, etc.) (Hart et al. 197) and that oftentimes individuals would not want to complicate these types of benefits by involving the potentially complicated aspect of sexual intimacy. However, results did determine that 52% of respondents assumed that some aspect of cross-sex friendships involves sexual attraction (Hart et al. 198). This notion brings us again to parental investment, where either consciously or subconsciously, males and females seek out people of the opposite sex with the goal of expanding their genetic material.

Results from Cheung and McBride-Chang, Reeder, and Hart et al. all concluded that perceptions of benefits and rewards within cross-sex friendships help to formulate and maintain these types of relationships. In other words, people tend to seek out friendships with people they feel will offer some kind of specific benefit, for example, males offering security to females, and females offering the opportunity for more openness with males. Also relating to material from class lectures, perceptions of instrumentality and expressivity were a common theme throughout the discussion of cross-sex friendships. Hypotheses were supported with results demonstrating that both male-centered instrumentality and more female aspects of expressivity were both critical and also differently beneficial in certain circumstances between cross-sex friends. Theories of parental investment and social roles were identified in relation to cross-sex friends in that males and females have different approaches and needs when it comes to interacting with members of the opposite sex. These theories were supported by evidence of males remaining more open to sexual touch among cross-sex friends and females feeling more reserved and choosy about intimacy among male friends. In the lecture, we also discussed different perspectives, such as evolution and socialization, in relation to different topics. In regard to cross-sex friendships, these perspectives relate to the above-mentioned theories of how males and females respond differently to levels of intimacy among cross-sex friends.

In the 1998 film Living Out Loud, the characters Judith (Holly Hunter) and Pat (Danny DeVito) form an unlikely cross-sex friendship. It begins with both characters being lonely and sad, so they find mutual comfort in each other. However, as the movie progresses, one-sided romantic feelings arise on the part of Pat. He begins to develop more intimate feelings for Judith, who rejects his desire for intimacy. Pat’s forward expression of intimate feelings had a negative impact on their friendship. This movie was a good example of the delicate and complicated situation between heterosexual cross-sex friends.

Through these studies, we can identify a trend between the maintenance and quality of cross-sex friendships and expected gender norms. A common factor of cross-sex friendships was one of instrumentality and expressivity and the different benefits one can gain from having a friend who expresses more feminine or masculine qualities. Another notable factor was that of friendship rewards and benefits. Multiple studies concluded that one reason for the formation of cross-sex friendships is the perception of gaining different types of rewards based on the different gender of a friend. As these studies all had multiple research questions and hypotheses, it is difficult to narrow down to one specific conclusion about cross-sex friendships and we can clearly see the complexities that this type of relationship contains. However, we are able to determine that in some instances cross-sex friendships are capable of remaining platonic, and also that if mutual levels of intimacy were to arise, it could be to the benefit of the individuals within the friendship.

Men and women typically carry very different expectations and predispositions into their cross-signature of friendship. Getting emotional closeness in both sexual orientations (Heterogenous) involved trust and intimacy (Felmlee, Diane et.al 2012). Men and women can be friends, but one source stated that it’s somehow inappropriate because it can incite jealousy in a romance (O’Meara, 1989; Rawlins, 1982). A wide generalization is that men and women both have assortative friend preferential treatment – they tend to befriend individuals with characteristics like their own (McPherson, Smith-Lovin, and Cook, 2001; Vigil, 2007). However, men’s and women’s friendships differ in important ways. Some people involve in sexual magnetism toward their opposite-sex friends (Kaplan & Keys, 1997; O’Meara, 1989; Rose, 1985), and a considerable number of cross-sex friendships end because of physical distance or failed attempts at romance (Werking, 1994). Previous studies propose that friends do not publicly talk about dating and sexual issues with their cross-sex friends (Afifi & Guerrero,1998; Afifi & Burgoon, 1998). Some men and women even report that talks about how they actively take in their friends about their romantic relationship involvement with their partners (Bleske-Rechek, Matteson, Gragg, & Stocco, 2006). The goal of this study is to know how attitude affects the friendship of both men and women.

According to Kalmjin (2002), the chance of having opposite-sex friend escalate gender role attitude and a high degree of isolation, when it comes to women opportunity structure has the biggest effect followed by the life course and individual characteristic, while for men the characteristic for them is the most important followed by their life course and opportunity, thus this differentiates the attitude of both cross-gender friendships. Based on Godwin et.al (2002), both men and women prefer friendships that are characterized by emotional expressiveness, trust, and unconditional support. Interaction between cross-gender might aid both males and females to share essential qualities and preferences of their gender with the other (Bronkema,2014). The finest friendships are cleared by the sense of increased knowledge, self-respect, faith, and self-disclosure of both company (Frey, et al. 2016) female friendship vary slightly from male friendship, women tends to close only self-disclosure, while men achieve close to both self-disclosure and participating in activities (Fehr, 2004) that can change their attitude towards each other. The major challenges that cross-gender friendship to consult together are the type of emotional bonds they experience in their relationship, the challenge of the issue of sexuality towards them, handling the difficulty of gender inequality and the public relation as well, this is the nature of having cross-gender norms facing the judgment of society (O’meara, 1989). Cross-gender friendships can be defined as a “non-romantic, non-familial, personal relationship between man and woman.” Differences between men and women in friendship focus on the social and cultural context of gender. Friendship represents an important social-relational arena for the enactment of cultural messages and beliefs regarding gender. People do gender while engaging with their friends (West and Zimmerman 1987), and friendship represents a place where gender and inequality are enacted regularly.

​According to Helgeson et.al (1992), it is necessary to recognize first that men and women hold very similar ideas about what it means to be close to someone or to have a best friend that is opposite to their gender. Both men and women prefer friendship that can help them grow, express their emotions, and can support them in their career or any situation especially when they need someone to be there for them. Gondwe (2018) stated that friendship between men and women is a great development but it has boundaries, unlike friendship with the same gender. There have been several findings that women who keep male companies instead of their same-gender company are happier. Women feel comfortable with men as their close buddies suffer little stress from their friendship compared to those whose close friends are female. The preference of cross-gender friendship closeness for females were more strongly tied to their positive attitudes toward enacting and receiving more touch, enacting and receiving caretaking touch, and perceiving touch as more, when compared to males. Females were more motivated not to touch their cross-gender friends in public regardless of intimacy perceptions and did not positively perceive haven touch if they did not have a romantic partner. It is pursued that men’s and women’s attitudes toward touch in cross-gender friendships separate due to evolved differences related to how they are socialized to perceive their roles in cross-gender friendships, this is stated by Ranjit (2014).

​Other researchers tend to centralize the gender rules and roles towards same and cross-sex friendships. This manuscript aims to know the correlational analysis of attitude towards sexual orientation. How their minds and the sex of the person affect their attitude and how they behave towards each other. This span of knowledge helps people to know the difference in attitudes and what attitudes will change when they socialize with the opposite gender.

​This study can be served as useful information and a guide for future researchers to determine how and why gender can change the attitude of a person and affects the flow of their friendship. The researcher’s purpose in knowing the correlational analysis of attitude towards sexual orientation by using the Pearson product-moment correlation coefficient or the Pearson R is to know the connection between sex and attitude, to minimize the misconception of the society, to change the perception of friendship between men and women, to have a better understanding between same-sex and cross-sex friendship.

Previous research within this field have found discrepancies on what factors are truly important to university friendships. They have found proximity appears to be the most consistent factor contributing to friendships forming, however, in regard to emotional support and depth within friendships there has been inconsistent findings. The purpose of this study is to identify the key, important components of friendship among university students through thematic analysis of two semi-structured interviews. Analysis suggests that the ability to express your true self within your friendships at university not only strengthens the bond formed but makes them stand out as closer than any other friendships. This allows for a deeper connection between individuals as they learn about the true natures and behaviors of those, they consider friends. The implications of this study would be the ability to help give some advice on how to approach making new friends when transitioning into university.

Literature Review

Many modern studies regarding friendship have been in relation to the wider context. Such as Giddens (1992) who expressed a new rise in bonds referring to them as ‘pure relationships’. Within this he suggested that relationships only lasted if mutual benefits occurred which had the ability satisfy both individuals, Giddens beliefs (as cited in Brooks, 2007) have emphasis on the need for emotional communication and disclosure. This area of research into modern relations has a large gap when regarding newly emerging adult relationships, such as university friendships, allowing new scope for this qualitative research. Although some studies have tried to find how university friendships fall into this newly emerging idea of how friendships are formed, it has been found to not be as applicable (Brooks, 2007). Brooks found the predominant factor impacting university friendships was context dependent. He found that although other factors, such as, proximity and claimed emotional support were present, the majority of the students had highly context dependent relationships which did not adhere to the original ‘pure relationships’ structure. A further study (Heath and Cleaver, 2003) found a partially different result when studying student housing. Although in agreement over the impact of proximity they found that university friendships have a larger importance compared to past friendships they would have formed. They explained how this new close proximity with friends results in a deeper connection as it would be the first time living with those not in their immediate family. This study suggests there is a need to study this area of what is truly important for university friendships as there appears to be discrepancies within previous research. By studying this area to find a more conclusive answer to what is important within university friendships it can help guide new and more successful prevention strategies to help with student loneliness and isolation. The success of prevention strategies within university dorms has been discussed within Fondacaro et al. (1984) which found that the administration within dorms is widely successful in increasing student wellbeing and decreasing student loneliness. It showed how the development of friendship networks allow for reducing isolation from living in new dorms.

Method

Theorizing the Production of Knowledge

The researcher holds a critical realism viewpoint as they believe there is a universal reality which you can gain insight on through participants personal and subjective accounts. This would be applied to the research through how they link the participants realities together. The researcher holds a positivism epistemology viewpoint which means they believe you can access true human behavior through research. This means they would see the data collected through the interviews as the participants true reality.

Participants and Recruitment

Two female participants were selected through opportunity sampling; they were recruited through email invitations. They had to be university students and so both fall within the age range of 19-22. As this is a qualitive account a sample size of two was selected to ensure rich data could be collected which would represent as close to the participants true reality.

Data Collection

A semi-structured interview, which consisted of 9 questions, was chosen for the data collection. This was so the researcher could have the ability to ask further questions. It ensured key details were elaborated on, allowing in depth accounts to be collected in ways which the questions would not have originally anticipated. As Bjørnholt and Farstad (2012) explains a semi-structured interview can result in “the production of rich data, including observational data”. The interview was conducted online using zoom in order to adhere to Covid-19 restrictions.

Data Analysis

A thematic analysis was chosen for the data collected from the interviews. A thematic analysis was most suited for the data as it allows for interpretation of themes beyond the immediate experience of the participants (Guest et al., 1963). This was completed through 5 phases (Braun and Clark, 2006). Phase 1 was completed both through handwritten work and digital transcription, as the researcher identified codes through highlighting documents but digitally annotated the initial codes. The second phase was listing the codes the researcher had identified, this was listed digitally alongside generated definitions. Once a list was formulated it allowed for phase three where the researcher mapped out the codes with how they linked together forming themes. These themes were then condensed and mapped out with their corresponding codes and quotations. Both phase three and four were completed by hand.

Ethics

Informed consent was collected and recorded before the interview progressed, the participant had an information pack about the study 24 hours before it began to ensure a full understanding. As the data was recorded to it was password protected and deleted within 7 days. To reduce any possibility of causing harm the participants were debriefed and directed towards wellbeing support if they felt it was needed.

Reflection

As I am a university student who is friends with both participants it gives me first-hand experience of what they discussed within their interviews. The result of this could be limiting as it may change how comfortable each participant was sharing their answers within the interview, especially as the topic would involve, in some ways, discussing my involvement with them and how they view our friendship. Similarly, this factor may have caused changes in stories or reflections as they are having to describe them to someone they will see again and who may know who they are talking about. As the researcher, knowing the participants did add a level of discomfort especially when discussing the hindrances within their university friendships. However, I feel this did have a positive impact at they would have felt more comfortable within the interview and as a result more likely to share parts of themselves or their friendships which they may not have with a stranger. This would have allowed me to have a more accurate and detailed analysis.

Analysis

Theme: True Self Within University Friendships

The theme of true self is reflected in each participants accounts as they discuss how their stronger bonds within university are due to feeling more themselves around certain individuals. This importance of showing your true behavior was discussed as the distinguishing factor between friendships formed due to convenience and friendships formed through choice. It was described as what made friendships have more trust.

“Other friends are more chosen, so you get a lot closer with them as you can act how you would normally act alone or with old school friends with them. When you have to go out of your way to make friends it forces you find people you relate to on a deeper level”.

The main factor discussed by Penelope is how they have the ability to act their true self around their closer university friends which can be seen within “act how you would normally act alone”. This ability to act how you would alone suggest there is a lack of judgement from them removing the issue of covering or hiding parts of yourself resulting in a closer and more solid friendship forming. The phrasing used not only shows how it is their true self they are sharing but also how this is an important factor they aspire to have to allow a deeper connection. This is presented as a new hindrance they have faced since going to university which was not seen as an issue, they had within old school friendships. This can be seen in how acting the way they would with “old school friends” is linked as the same as “how you would normally act alone”.

Subtheme: Depth Within University Friendships

The subtheme of depth corresponds with how exposing your true self allows for your friends to understand parts of you which you would not usually show. It is the transition from knowing lots of different parts of a person (breadth) to knowing more key details about the personal aspects of their life.

“Someone in my flat tells me about parts of their family life which are private, this makes me feel closer to them as I feel I can share similar experiences of my own”.

Participant one’s quote explains how to share your true self you need to expose deeper parts, “which are private”. This increase in depth within the friendship would cause the bonds to be stronger as each individual understands the other to a greater level as shown by “I feel I can share similar experiences of my own”, this allows for a unique vulnerability of self which creates a closeness you would not experience with all friendship.

Discussion

The most important factor found within university friendships was the ability to show you true self and express deepness that you would not show to anyone. Coinciding with a secondary theme found of proximity, these factors could be viewed as the result of the Covid-19 pandemic as students are encouraged to solely socialize with those in their accommodation who will see them in more private states. As a result, this would cause a deeper more personal connection to form. Similarly, only socializing with those you live with would cause less academic basis for friendship and more emotional factors to be involved. This finding supports previous work on the maintenance of modern friendships being dependent on disclosure and openness (Giddens, 1992) as it shows how mutual benefits of emotional communication are essential for a modern friendship. The implication of this research is the ability to reinforce what has been found by previous researchers as the findings are conclusive with theirs. Together with previous research it can allow for a basis on where to begin when forming intervention help or guides for those transitioning into university, so they have more of an understanding on how to seek new friendship.

Limitations

The key limitation within this research was that the participants were both university students who transitioned during the Covid-19 period giving them, theoretically, an entirely unique experience of forming friendship. This would mean the analysis found would be less applicable to generalize to all university students and as a result the data collected has a less impactful meaning when answering the research question. Additionally, a further limitation is the focus on the maintenance of friendships opposed to the formation. This leaves a gap in the understanding of what is important in university friendships and indicates a flaw in the methodology.

Suggestions for Future Research

Future research into this area should involve investigating how the Covid-19 pandemic has impacted students’ abilities to form and maintain friendships. As this is a newly emerging, modern issue it would be a unique area to discover how it may have shaped and changed how the students view what is important within their own friendships. This topic was briefly discussed within the interviews but not to enough depth to consider.

A friendship is thought to represent the mutual bond between two individuals or a group of people who are friends. According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, friend means, “one attached to another by affection or esteem” (Merriam-Webster). Being a friend means that you are connected to that individual or group of people by a common interest or mutual hobby. A friendship is made up of many different characteristics. However, there are three main ones that hold these bonds together. The three main characteristics that make up a friendship are being trustworthy, dependable, and balance. We can see many examples of what it means to be a friend in Stephen King’s book, IT, with the kid characters. We also see many examples of this in the Netflix Series, Stranger Things with the Loser Club kids. Throughout the book and Netflix series, we see the parts that make up a friendship grow and flower. Unfortunately, we also see those parts of the friendship break down and fall apart.

The characteristic of being a trustworthy individual is a big part of being in a friendship. An individual that is showing that they are trustworthy is someone who can be trusted with anything. Like important information or keeping secrets. We can see this when Mike tells Dustin and Lucas not to tell anyone that they found Eleven or that she was hiding out in his basement. He tells them not to tell anyone or their parents and to keep her a secret until he can figure out what to do (“Chapter Two: The Weirdo on Maple Street”). This shows that Mike was trusting his friends. He was telling them important information that needed to be kept just between them. If that information got out to Mike’s parents or anyone in the community, Eleven would not only be in danger of other citizens coming to get her but the bad guys from the testing laboratory also. According to Secret to Friendship: Children Make Inferences About Friendship Based on Secret Sharing, “Therefore, tracking which people know each other’s secrets can be used as a cue of social relationships: If one person tells another person a secret, those people are likely friends” (Liberman). People tell each other their secrets because they have trust in them and see them as their friends. They would not tell them their secrets if they did not believe that they could keep them and could not trust them with that information. Along with people having trust in somebody, they also have to think of that individual as dependable.

The second big character that makes up friendship is being dependable. This word has many meanings and ways that it could be looked at. One way that it could be looked at is if a person is reliable to someone else, most likely their friend. For example, they could keep information that the other individual told them and did not want anyone else to know. They could also come to the rescue or aid someone when they really need it. We can see all the different examples of individuals being dependable when Mike called all of his friends when he was little and told them that the monster was back. When he called each of his friends, he told them that it was an emergency and that they needed to get back to Derry because he personally needed their help. He was counting on them to be dependable in his time of need, so they could help him save the citizens of the town from a clown that fed on children’s fears (King 40-165). Another way that an individual can be dependable is if someone can count on them not only in their time of need in that present time period but in the future as well. When someone knows that they can depend on you right now and then, they assume that they have the same amount of dependability in the future that they did in the past. In Commitment and Trust in Young Adult Friendships, people who have what is called interpersonal trust can be defined as, “the expectation that a partner can be relied upon to be responsive to one’s needs, both in the present and in the future (Wieselquist). The author is explaining how being dependable intertwines with being trustworthy. With having trust in someone, comes being able to trust them to be dependable. Not only does having trust and being dependable go hand in hand, but they both also overlap with having a balanced friendship.

Friendships over time can become one-sided and unbalanced. This can become a problem. However, this can be resolved by just making a few small adjustments. According to Friendships in Middle School: Influences on Motivation and School Adjustment, “It is likely that significant associations between having friends and other positive aspects of adjustment partly reflect the fact that adolescents who demonstrate competence in one domain of functioning (i.e., making friends) often do so in other domains” (Wentzel et al., 2004). These authors are suggesting that if you make these little adjustments to a friendship, then it will help it to function better and these tactics could be used for other situations. One little adjustment that could be made is to act as a middle man and make compromises. For example, if one person wanted to make beaded bracelets and the other person wanted to make braided string bracelets, then they would find a way to make both happen. To resolve this problem, both individuals could make this work and make a compromise by making beaded string bracelets. This solution would please both sides and make each person happy. Another little adjustment that could be made is to give each other space. If two individuals were to get into a fight and neither of them could not admit who was wrong or agree on a solution, they could give each other some space and time to calm down. During this time when they are separated, this will give each person a chance to cool down and reflect on what happened. They could come up with an alternate solution that was not talked about before that might be a better option for both of them. We can see this happen when Ben was thinking about what happened to the silver dollar. When he is thinking about this, he internally thinks, “…what did she do? And how was it able to work? She backed it off, and we all helped her…” (King 543). During this situation, Beverly realizes that she need help. She makes a little adjustment and backed off, thought of other resolutions, and had her friends help her. This shows that if people stop and think about other options, they can get to a resolution faster and one that is more prevalent in the situation that they are in.

When people think about the definition of what a friend is and means, there is a range of answers and opinions that will be suggested. Most people associate a friend with the idea of having a friendship and being connected with something they have in common. Also when someone thinks about the definition of what a friend is and what a friendship all entails, there will be a lot of characteristics that could and will end up being thrown out. Out of all of these characteristics, the majority of them will be common. To make up a friendship, the three most important and thought of characteristics are being trusted by someone, being thought of as dependable, and having a good sense of balance. These three characteristics are what hold these bond within a friendship together. Many examples of these three characteristics and how they hold the bonds of friendship together can be seen in the Netflix series, Stranger Things, and in Stephen King’s book, IT. Within the book and TV series, we can see the great rise and the hard fall of these friendships. All in all, if people work on changing their ways of going about things and seeing the situations in a different eye, their friendships will excel. The bonds between them will grow and prosper. The bonds will show people what it really looks like to represent the true meaning and definition of friendship between two or more people.

Brief Introduction

In the critical review article, the views of Norman Kutcher on the formation of friendships are discussed in detail. Kutcher noted that friendship was extremely beneficial when it came to the formation of relationships in societies that subscribed to Confucianism.

In particular, Kutcher talked about the fifth relationship, which was indeed a valued principle in the Confucian society. In this article, the views of other scholars are discussed in order to strengthen the works of Kutcher. Friendship is a concept that has been analyzed by a number of scholars due to its importance in uniting people in society.

The Power of Female Friendship

Dobransky, P. (2008). The Power of Female Friendship. New York: Penguin Books.

The above scholar conducted an extensive study on the differences between women and men concerning the formation of friendships. He noted that human behavior should be analyzed differentiating between the mind and the brain. The mind is software while the brain is a collection of specified anatomical bits of hardware.

Using the brain is remarkably easy and elegant as opposed to the utilization of the mind. In the same way, men are different from women because they have different gender instincts. The analysis of this scholar is similar to that of Kutcher because he differentiates between human brain and the mind. Kutcher noted that there exists a difference between friendship and family ties. Friendship has an ability to influence the morality of an individual (Dobransky, 2008).

The above researcher came up with a system that would help friends in solving problems easily. Furthermore, an individual can resolve internal conflicts that come about as a result of forming friendships through the model developed by the researcher.

For instance, issues to do with professional prosperity, family links, sense of belonging, finding a mission in life might be resolved through the application of the Quantum psychology theory. Apart from resolving internal conflicts, an individual can utilize the theory in strengthening friendships and improving relationships with other people. However, to resolve internal conflicts and solve interpersonal issues, an individual must be well connected to other members of society.

It is surprising to note that the theory can help an individual in resolving issues affecting the environment. The researcher observed that two members of the same gender might have different high brains, but their emotions might be similar. It is common to find members of the same gender behaving in a similar way. Negative emotions have negative effects, which drive friends away from an individual.

For instance, an individual loses potential friends when he or she lacks emotional energy in life. For an individual to form relationships easily, he or she must have a consistent emotional energy. A majority of women appreciate the fact that they are feminine, and they need to live according to the societal standards. As a responsibility, a feminine character should be caring and nurturing.

Kutcher noted that Confucianism encouraged women to be caring and tender because they had a responsibility to ensure that children are brought up well. However, friendship in mature commitments is formed based on mutuality. This means that individuals calculate the benefits and loses of the relationship before engaging in it.

From the article, it is established that a number of factors influence friendship, including consistency, mutuality, shared values, and positive emotions. However, the scholar uses a mechanistic theory, which was applied in the functioning of machines. The scholar equates human behavior to objects that cannot change when being tested. Human behavior is subject to change because people react when they notice that a test is being conducted on them. In this sense, the views of the scholar are misplaced.

However, his views can be applied in understanding the formation of friendships, particularly among female friends. The scholar used valid sources that could explain the behavior of women in relationships. For instance, he used the works of Johnson Allan on the Gender Knot, which explains in detail how women form links in the patriarchic societies. The works of Borrows Kate on “Envy” were also incorporated successfully.

Micro and Macro Friendships

Granovetter, M. (1973). The strength of weak Ties. American Journal of Sociology, 78(6), 1360-1380.

The scholar noted that social networks, such as friendships, serve as the linkage between micro and macro levels of sociological analysis. For instance, the strength of dyadic relations serves as an example to the linkage between micro and macro analysis of human behavior. An individual can establish either micro or macro relationships in society. The two levels of friendship are related in some way because one influences the other.

The relationship between micro and macro relationships influences the way an individual distribute information. Moreover, the social mobility of an individual is determined by the ability to strike a balance between the two forms of relationships. If an individual fails to strike a balance between micro and macro relationships, stress would be inevitable. However, the scholar noted that most relationships that flourish in society are micro in nature.

Such relationships are common among groups and individuals. It is surprising to note that the scholar claims that weak relationships have a role to play in an individual’s life. In society, an individual’s political socialization and engagement in social activities serve as an example of macro level relationships (Granovetter, 1973).

Interpersonal networks play a critical role in ensuring that an individual forms close relationships with members of his or her group, as well as other members of society.

Through interpersonal interactions, people are able to form macro relationships. Through analysis, the scholar concluded that interpersonal relationships are linear. In this sense, the relationship is believed to be strong. For this to take place, an individual must commit time to the said relationship. Moreover, some aspect of emotional intensity and intimacy should be available for there to be a strong relationship.

Friends would only remain in a companionship if the relationship were reciprocal. This view is similar to the views of Dobransky and Kutcher. Dobransky noted that individuals would be willing to engage in mutual relationships only. For Kutcher, he noted that friendships are not similar to other relationships that take place in society. However, an individual decides to engage in a relationship that is more beneficial.

The scholar conducted a comparative study in order to distinguish a weak tie from a strong tie. For this to happen, he had to compare various variables. The sources used were suitable because they explained the issues surrounding friendships in detail. The scholar utilized the works of Simmel to expound on the importance of macro friendships.

However, he did not give valid reasons why people prefer forming weak relationships in some instances while creating powerful friendships at others. Kutcher observed that people formed strong friendships because the Confucian religion demanded that people come up with formidable friendships that would encourage peaceful coexistence.

Granovetter did not give a single reason why people form strong relationships at the micro level while they would simply prefer weak relationships at the macro level. However, his works are important when it comes to understanding the role of macro level friendships. Even though macro relationships are the weakest, they play a critical role to an individual’s life.

Effects of Poor Friendship: Peer Victimization

Boivin, M., & Hodges, E. (1999). The power of Friendship: protection against an escalating cycle of peer victimization. Developmental Psychology, 35(1).

The above researchers were interested in studying the various forms of friendships, as well as how such friendships influence human behavior. The presence of a friend in an individual’s life affects interactions in groups. When an individual lacks friends, peer victimization would be inevitable. In the study, they found out that more than ten percent of children suffer from victimization. In some instances, such children are often attacked because their peers tend to think that teachers obtain critical information from them.

Victimization is a result of nervousness, despair, solitude, and low confidence. In other words, lack of friendship results to depression. Moreover, unstable relationships among students results to poor performance and rejection (Boivin, & Hodges, 1999). All these are results of negative adjustment indexes, which are associated with unfair treatment from friends.

The two scholars further noted that victimization among peers is caused by specific factors. In other words, some conditions predispose children to peer victimization. One of the major factors that cause peer victimization is the proximal influence, which operates within the peer group.

In particular, social impairment is singled out as the leading cause of peer victimization. Certain children would behave in ways that attract victimization. This means that friendship is an aspect of life that demands commitment and seriousness. Children who lack humor, self-confidence, and self-esteem are victims of unfair treatment. In fact, such children give in to the demands of attackers easily, by relinquishing resources.

Victimized children have problems when it comes to internalizing difficulties in life. For instance, they might tend to be argumentative and aggressive. All these predispose them to unfair treatment. Therefore, two categories of factors affect peer victimization. One of them is individual risk factors, which are specific to each child, and the other one is social risk factors, which are related to interpersonal relationships.

Conclusion

From the three articles, it can be observed that friendship is a concept that affects individuals in a number of ways. It is formed through social interactions and interrelationships. Dobransky observed that gender is one of the factors that affect friendship. Individuals of the same gender tend to behave in the same way.

Moreover, he noted that people form friendships after calculating the benefits and the costs. For Granovetter, friendships are formed at two levels. One of the levels is micro while the other is macro. Micro friendships are very strong while macro friendships tend to be weak. However, weak relationships have a great role in an individual’s life. He also noted that friendships are formed based on the cost-benefit analysis.

Boivin and Hodges noted that poor friendships results to unfair treatment in society. The three articles relate to the works of Kutcher in a number of ways. The articles concur with the works of Kutcher in the sense that friendship is formed based on the cost-benefit consideration. Moreover, friendship has some negative effects to the life of an individual if not embraced fully.

References

Boivin, M., & Hodges, E. (1999). The power of Friendship: protection against an escalating cycle of peer victimization. Developmental Psychology, 35(1).

Dobransky, P. (2008). The Power of Female Friendship. New York: Penguin Books.

Granovetter, M. (1973). The strength of weak Ties. American Journal of Sociology, 78(6), 1360-1380.

Contemporary ethics becomes more and more significant because of the processes of globalization that increasingly interconnect the world making people united. Contemporary ethics suggests that friendship is based on love, trust, and respect for human (Jeffko, 2013). As a rule, ties of friendship are bound to people with common interests (MacKinnon & Fiala, 2014). Friendship concept involves deep personal affection for each other and special revelation.

Perspective on the Fate of Friendship under the Impact of Contemporary Ethics

Is friendship possible in the modern world dominated by pragmatism and will it exist in the future? No doubt that friendship is always necessary. After all, the friendship requires communication, trust, understanding, reciprocity, and sincerity (Richards, 2013). Who will be able to live without it? I believe nobody. There are several factors influencing the perspective on the fate of friendship.

First of all, online social media affects friendship. Online communication becomes popular partially pushing communication in the real world. However, sometimes it causes a problem of Internet dependence including the inclination on the virtual social networking. Nevertheless, this friendship is presented in an entirely different form because friends cannot see or even hear each other, they just correspond. This friendship gives confidence as a person can share his feelings and emotions with his friend, and, perhaps, helps to create a better atmosphere for dialogue.

It goes without saying that people get acquainted and make friends at work. Therefore, working conditions have an impact on friendship as well. For instance, a friendly attitude of the authorities promotes and strengthens friendship between employees while unfavorable conditions such as heavy workload or unjustifiably different salary deteriorate it. People working in the team interact with each other every day solving problems and achieving common goals. The same occupation contributes to the development of friendly relations between employees.

Another component is religion. Although it is said that friendship has no religion, world experience states that many people and even countries cease friendship because of religion. In the modern epoch, people can freely communicate in the social network with friends from around the world. Moreover, it does not matter who they are by nationality and by faith. After all, friendship is the highest value.

In my opinion, there is no reason to think that friendship will disappear in the future. Friendship programmed for joy because it is based on freedom. Friendship is vulnerable that is why some people disappointed in it. However, it is necessary to continue to communicate with friends without interrupting contact and avoiding serious conflicts.

Philosophers Discussion

Plenty of philosophers examined the notion of “friendship”. For instance, Cicero takes the point of view of the social entity, in other words, he defines friendship as personal affection and understanding that is inextricably linked with the civic duty. He puts friendship above all as it helps a person to cope with misfortune even in adversity: “friendship improves happiness, and abates misery, by doubling our joys, and dividing our grief” (Caine, 2014). According to the Roman thinker, one of the main tenets of friendship is the honesty of friendly relations. Moreover, Cicero reveals a divine meaning of friendship pointing that even gods involved in friendship.

Another famous philosopher Aquinas claims that friendship is a spiritual community of two people. In friendship, as in love, the third most likely is superfluous. Distrust, envy, and jealousy might appear. It is difficult to keep the balance and harmony of different characters between more than two people. Friendship requires such qualities as generosity, honor, respect of friend’s identity, the unity of views, and complicity.

Friendship does not imply an absolute parity, but a harmonious complementarity between two people. “Friendship is the source of the greatest pleasures, and without friends even the most agreeable pursuits become tedious,” believes Aquinas (Schwartz, 2012). There are no debtors or benefactors. Relationships within this binomial should always be kind, sincere, and honest. Additionally, a friend can understand his or her partner even without words.

In addition, Socrates considers that without friendship, there are no valuable relationships between people. However, he never reasons for the notion of friendship. Socrates taught to ask questions without fleeing in the abstract and hiding behind the conventional wisdom. The conversation always began, at first glance, with minor things. However, during the dialogue, Socrates helped his interlocutor to come to a very important realization: people have only superficial knowledge or opinion about something while the experience and knowledge are rather different. In this regard, he states, it is amazing how every person can easily tell how many sheep he had, but not everyone can count his friends as they are in price (Stern-Gillet & Gurtler, 2014).

In conclusion, several points of view of the philosophers discussed above are undoubted of great interest for the contemporary ethics and friendship perspective.

References

Caine, B. (2014). Friendship: A history. New York: Routledge. Web.

Jeffko, W. G. (2013). Contemporary ethical issues: A personalist perspective (3rd ed.). Amherst, NY: Humanity Books. Web.

MacKinnon, B., & Fiala, A. (2014). Ethics: Theory and contemporary issues (8th ed.). New York: Cengage Learning. Web.

Richards, B. (2013). Ethics: Contemporary Perspectives. New York: ATF Press. Web.

Schwartz, D. (2012). Aquinas on friendship. Oxford: Oxford University Press. Web.

Stern-Gillet, S., & Gurtler, G. (2014). Ancient and medieval concepts of friendship. New York: Suny Press. Web.

No matter how independent one might consider him-/herself, social laws make one accept the role that defines one’s gender (Rhode, 2004). However, if even the wrong social role has been offered at a certain stage of a child’s development, there are several ways to help an individual be accepted into the society, which can be seen in the case below.

A boy named Billy, who can be defined as the focus of the case study (Blonk, 2003), spending most of his time with girls and playing the games that girls typically play, seems to have adopted a “girly,” feminine manner of behavior. As a result, after becoming a member of a group of boys, Billy faces a number of conflicts and suffers, being unable to confront his bullies, which is the key problem of the case.

It is also worth mentioning that Billy’s problems are not restricted to school and bullies. Realizing that his son does not behave the way a man should, his father fears that the former will not be able to grow into a successful man and, which seems even more dreadful to Billy’s father, will turn out to be a homosexual. Therefore, certain actions must be undertaken to help the boy integrate into his school mini-society. At present, it is obvious that the boy’s understanding of his gender role should be redefined.

The case study above offers a lot of food of thoughts. It is obvious that Billy has problems with communicating with his peers. The given problems will not dissolve was time passes; on the contrary, unless an efficient interventions offered, the problems win communication are likely to snowball until Billy is completely unable to socialize successfully.

Even though Billy’s father has voiced the concern about his son’s sexual preferences, it is obvious that at the given stage, there is no reason to expect that Billy will display sexual interest towards boys. As far as the conflict goes, the boy’s main problem is that he is unwilling to change his behavior towards a socially accepted one under the pretext that girls are more beautiful and, therefore, it is more reasonable to be a girl.

Piaget’s theory of cognitive development will help nail down the problem. On the one hand, according to Piaget, the stage when the behavioral pattern was being acquired has been missed and it will be extremely hard to develop a new behavioral model for Billy (Berk, 2006, 31). On the other hand, however, behaviorism and social learning theory claims that “development involves an increase in learned behaviors” (Berk, 2006, 31).

Even though the situation seems rather complicated, there are still the ways to help Billy integrate into his school mini-society and improve relationships with his father. First of all, it is necessary that the boy should understand why he is being bullied without making him feeling guilty about his behavior. Further on, it can be recommended that the family offered Billy more opportunities for developing his manly qualities, e.g., buying him toys that are generally considered “for boys,” etc.

Several questions can arise after the case study analysis. To be more exact, these are the following questions:

1. Is it necessary to impose a standard for gender related behavior on children from an early age?
2. Can people be judged on their merits, disregarding their behavior that differs from the standard prescribed by their gender role?
3. What are the possible ways to be accepted in the society for a person whose behavior does not correspond to the one that is considered standard for his/her gender?

Reference List

Berk, L.E. (2006). Child development (7th ed.). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon.

Blonk, v. d. H. (2003). Writing case studies in information systems research. Journal of Information Technology, 18, 45-52.

Rhode, M. (2004). Infant observation as research: Cross-disciplinary links. Journal of Social Work Practice, 18(3), 283-296.