A friend in need is a friend in deed. This well known quote can best define the aspect of friendship. It is almost impossible to give a specific definition of friendship since it is defined by values and like most relationships it is mainly based on intimacy between two parties. Aristotle defined friendship as one soul existing in two bodies signifying that for true friendship there must be mutual understanding, love and compassion.
Friendship can be best defined by the interactions that exist between two parties. In order for a friendship to exist, the two parties must demonstrate first and foremost a willingness to ensure that only the best occurs to their counterpart. Another important aspect of friendship is that there should be mutual understanding and compassion as the Greek philosopher, Epicurus, once wrote It is not so much our friends help that helps us as the confident knowledge that they will help us.
For a relationship to be termed as a friendship, honesty is an important factor. The honesty that defines a friendship should be that which one is able to point out the faults of the other party even though it may be hard. Cicero, a Roman philosopher, believed that for a true friendship to exist; honesty, trust and truth where of the utmost importance. He also believed that in order for friendship to exist, the parties should also act for the best interest of each other and should never act in order to receive any form of repayment.
A friendship usually develop when two parties usually with common interest meet and interact on a regular basis and acting according to the aforementioned aspects that defines a friendship. Friendships are usually hard to form as most people are reserved and meeting people with common interest may be difficult.
Friendships between two individuals can also be defined in terms of love. Two types of love usually exist, platonic and romantic love. Platonic love is that relationship or friendship that does not involve sexual activities while romantic love is a type of friendship between two people and is mainly defined by sexual interactions.
Friendships are not confined to human beings as also nations may form friendships between each other. In this sense, two nation form relationships that serve to the best interest of each other that includes enhancing trade relationships, providing mutual protection and providing help when necessary, financial or otherwise.
Friendships form the basis of most relationships and have been attributed to good physical and mental health. Good friendships not only ensure that an individual is happy but also provides mental stability and general well-being. Good friendships are usually based on a supportive system that ensures that the individuals are there when needed, provide sound advice and provides a shoulder to lean on when one is in need.
Various cultures define friendships in different way, in the western world, many rules define friendships and due to the fact that most relationships have been sexualized sharing of emotions between two friends especially males is considered a taboo. In the eastern world friendships are usually reserved and emotions are mainly repressed.
In Africa, relationships usually form the basis of life and friendships are respected and usually intense. It is common for friends to leave the care of their families to each other when one is not around.
Friendship is one of the hardest terms to define as usually most friendships may take different form. The essence of friendship lies in trust, mutual understanding and honesty but some friendships may exist without any of the above aspects. Some friendships are formed solely for the purpose of mutual benefits an example is the relationships between two criminals. Most of these parties do not trust each other but coexist with each other in order to finish a given activity.
Friendship refers to reciprocity and obligation between unrelated individuals. Friendship varies from casual to deep relations. Adults form friendships that reflect on class variations. Graham urges that friendships in working places have kin links though workmates and neighbours are also featured. Middle classes are more concerned with personal interactions and are conscious of the people they choose as friends (1989). Friendship involves a concern for your friends.
There are no set criteria for what qualifies one to be a friend or not (Graham 1996). Friendships though said to be voluntary and personal they are controlled by class, age, ethnicity, gender and geography (Graham 1989). Even with the flexibility in personal life there is still a cultural boundary between friendships and family (Graham 2008).
People in social relations are associated with more positive feeling and happiness while those not in social relations are generally considered unhappy (Derek 1967). In friendships friends depend on each other for personal identity and support. They also recognize that they need space to form other relations and thorough this there is growth and maturity (Pahl 2000).
Stereotype is also experienced in friendship. For example Brazilians studying in Europe and United States were met with the stereotypes that Brazilians are warm people and are easy to establish friendships. They are also said to have greater emotionality (Rezende 1993). This notion reinforces ones nationality and this affects negotiations between two people.
In some societies close friendship between people of the same sex is looked at skeptically. In fact relationships of the same sex relationships are condemned in many societies. In other societies same sex relationships are recognized. The usage of words such as homosexuals, lesbians is used with a lot of care so as to be politically correct. People involved in same sex relationships defend themselves that what they have is love the only difference is that they feel it towards a person of the same sex. Some have even tried to have children and people in heterosexual relations say this is wrong.
These kinds of relationships are a controversial issue and a lot of debate is going on about legalizing same sex marriages (Weeks et al. 2001).
Young people at one point in their lives live with non-kin in shared household. Due to this sharing of apartments a relationship develops. These shared households have characteristics that make them look like domestic settings (Heath 2004).
We have friendships at different levels first we have the middle class where friendships are clear. When people meet and they like one another they form a relationship. This relationship is extended by getting involved in one anothers social contexts. Thus people will invite their friends over to entertain them in their homes (How to be a friend). In the middle class friends share social activities and seek moral support in return.
However for the working class friendship organization is different they are only bound by the setting of interaction. This means that workmates do not meet outside the workplace unless they happen to share interests in other activities. For instance they could meet in a golf course or at a club. Friends made in these circles are invited home (Graham 1996).
Men and women form friendships differently. Men are emotional reticent thus afraid of exposing their emotions. On the contrary women are emotionally accomplished and more articulate. Men are less likely to make friends at the work place. This is due to the competitive nature of the business environment and thus they become rivals. This would explain the reason why they would not have time to make friendships.
Women on the other hand are likely to form close friends at work because they are more focused on conversation. However, is difficult to now base friendship experience on this assumption due to the change in education patterns, leisure (with more people preferring home based entertainment like watching television), employment patterns, telephone and internet use, concentration in nuclear families that have influence how people interact in groups or associations (Doyle and Smith 2002).
Friendship experience changes with age and the kind of friendships we make in adulthood are based on the kind of friendship one formed as a child. Though this can change as people are dynamic for instance one might have been unable to make meaningful friendships while young due to being bullied and yet in adulthood one meets other people and form friendships. The context and setting have a great role in friendship. Friendship requires time to develop and this is impacted by the social environment.
(Adams and Allan 1998) say friendships with kin are important than with non-kin to the older people. They feel more secure with their family members. They are very happy when their family members take care of them. Friendship seems to be more important to people as they get older. Family and relatives die and they leave gaps that are taken by friends who console. For those without children or those who live far away from their family friends come in handy (Pahl 2000).
Friendships are shared among people with similar position. This helps to maintain the status quo (Graham 1998).social groups are determined by the economic level, social and cultural settings. This ensures that people only end up socializing with people from their level and this is passed on from one generation to another
In some societies exchanging of gifts is very important in friendship. Giving gifts involve giving, receiving and reciprocating. There is also the consideration of the to whom, how, when, and what to give. (Miller1993). Friendship among the middle class in the English culture did not involve exchanging of gifts. Instead they cooked for one another i.e. give food gifts. This also followed the rules of giving other gifts but one did not have to reciprocate with food but with drinks. This is because not every one could cook. Thus one bringing drinks over emphasized on commensality. One had also to be careful not to over praise the cook as this would have been translated to mean one had to reciprocate by cooking by feeling indebted (Miller 1993). The meeting was considered more important than the food as this was an important time to socialize.
Inviting friends at home is seen as an ultimate act of friendship by sociologists. This is because when you take time and invite a person to your home it means you accept them as they are. You also reveal yourself to them just as you are by allowing a friend to come to your home. They are able to see your living habits and even some things that are not presentable. This way they see we are not perfect and that we are human (How to be a friend). When we invite friends we have an opportunity to show them hospitality. When we are at the table we get a chance to talk and open up to each other. This helps to create lasing friendships.
Dinner invitations have a very significant role in our friendships. They help in perpetuating class especially for the middle class. Food is a site in which identity is done (Lupton 1994). In the middle class food plays a major role in maintaining of friendship (Warde and Martens 2000). Dinner invitations are very frequent in friendship. Couples held dinner in varied frequencies, for others they would do two or three dinners in a year.
When we invite people for dinner we expect them to see us at our best. People take time to plan what to cook for their guests. We put a lot of effort in ensuring that dinner will be successful. During this time we remove our treasured china ware to serve our guests. Food served is of high quality to ensure that distinctions in class are made according to ones social class. Extraordinary recipes are used to ensure that one portrays a bit of sophistication. Some people will host very expensive dinners though this does not make one score highly (Rezende1993).
A lot of energy is spent in preparing food. This shows the friends invited that they are special. One chooses dishes that the guests would prefer. This ensures that the guests are entertained and satisfied with the kind of food served. These dinners are a show and sometimes the host is very nervous as they would not want anything to go amiss. One has to horn their hosting skills (Barcdellos and Rezende 1999). Some people even claim they keep records of what they served to avoid serving the same food in the subsequent dinners.
When one is invited for dinner they will also take time and make sure they are at their best. Some will even go ahead and shop for new clothes to attend the dinner. They know they have been invited because they matter. Some may even decide to bring a gift to the host. During this time people get to talk and get to know one another on a personal level.
Deep and mutual friendships may be formed during the dinner invitation. People will meet for dinner one time and if they like what they see they may end up even going on dates and eventually may get married.
Even in the work place some may decide to discuss a work related issue over dinner. This set up presents an informal setting and the business partners are able to drop the formalities and relate at a more personal level. This helps to remove misconceptions that people may have had about others (Walker 1995).
Inviting friends over to our houses for dinner is very important. It ensures that were keep interacting face to face thus maintaining relationships. In this age of advancement in communication technology it is very easy to lose the human touch. People can become strangers to one another when they choose to communicate through mobile phones and the internet. A dinner invitation is a great way to ensure that we get a chance to share a joke over a meal that makes life interesting.
In conclusion friendship is very important in society nowadays. Societies are bound by different types of bonds than the earlier generations. Society is changing and friendships too. Friends are increasingly being considered more than kin in the social tasks and functions. The meaning of friendships is also changing the expectations are growing such that we tend to judge our relationship with our kin on the basis of whether we are as close to friends (Pahl 2000).
Friendships according to studies done by psychologists, epidemiologists and psychologists have found out that people in friendships have a higher life expectancy, greater mental health and high chances of surviving attacks from diseases like cancer. Friends can also help one to get a job Are you in a friendship? Get yourself in one as the advantages are numerous.
References
Adams, R. G. and Allan, G. 1998. Placing Friendship in Context, Cambridge: Cambridge University Press.
Barcdellos, Rezende, C. 1999, Building Affinity Through Friendship, Berg, Oxford, pp. 79-97. Web.
Derek L.P. 1967. Social Participation and Happiness, The American Journal of Sociology, 72, 5, pp. 479-488.
Doyle, M. E. and Smith, M. K. 2002 Friendship: theory and experience, the encyclopedia of informal education.
Graham, A. 1989. Friendship: Developing a sociological perspective, Hemel Hempstead: Harvester Wheat sheaf.
Graham, A. 1996. Kinship and Friendship in Modern Britain, Oxford: Oxford University Press.
Allan, Graham, A. 2008). Flexibility, Friendship and Family , Personal Relationships 15, pp. 1-16.
Heath, S (2004), Peer Shared Households , Current Sociology 52 (2), pp. 161-182.
How to be a friend. 2009. Web.
Miller, W. 1993. Humiliation. Ithaca: Cornell University Press.
Lupton, D.1994. Food Memory and Meaning-the Symbolic and Social Nature of Food Events. Sociological Review, 42 (4): 664-685.
Pahl, R. 2000. On Friendship, Cambridge: Polity.
Rezende, C. 1993. Friendship among some English Young Men and Women Residents.
in London, 1991-1992. PhD Thesis, London Scholl of Economics- London.
Walker, K. 1995. Always There For Me ; Friendship Patterns and Expectations Among Middle- and Working-Class, Sociological Forum, 10 (2): 273-296.
Warde, A., Martens, L. 2000. Eating Out: Social Differentiation, Consumption and Pleasure, Cambridge: Cambridge University Press.
Weeks, Jeffrey, Heaphy, B. and Donovan, C. 2001, Families of choice: the changing context of non-heterosexual relationships in Same sex intimacies: families of choice and other life experiments, London, Rout ledge.
Aristotle is one of the most influential legendary philosophers that ever lived in the worlds history. Despite him being a Greek, his philosophies have influenced the way of life for people across the whole world. His ideas touched on almost all aspects of life whether in law, science, ethics, and philosophy among others.
However, there is a conflict between philosophical ideas of the legends and modernization in the 21st century. The world seems to have bumped off from the ideas of Aristotle and instead taken another unknown premise in search of happiness. For instance, Aristotle would disagree with the modern form of seeking happiness in the material things, as according to him, happiness is eternal and unique to every human being.
Virtue of Happiness
Aristotle described happiness as an eternal goodness that everybody strives to achieve in his or her day-to-day life. However, the striving for the achievement of happiness not only depends on every individuals reasons, but also on the virtues that play a major role in hastening the achievements.
According to Aristotle, some of the necessary forms of virtues for the achievement of happiness include confidence, generosity, justice, wisdom, humility, and courage. In addition, he described proper upbringing and the correctness of the law as the main factors on which the virtues depend on for their fecundity.
According to Aristotle, the true happiness is achieved naturally through actions that do not contradict the will and interests of a person. This assertion implies that happiness is brought about by passion rather than social obligation like it has been the case in the modern society.
Passion is a gift and its strength depends on the factors that define personal virtues (Aristotle, 89). Going back to those two factors, proper upbringing is an important factor for shaping the life of a human being. An individual brought up from a caring family is likely to have stronger virtues than one brought up in a less caring family.
This aspect implies that the nature of a family background is important in shaping the character and passion of a person. However, according to Aristotle, the goodness of the family background is subject to human relations as opposed to economic welfare. In addition, there could be exemptions where some individuals acquire behaviors that contradict the nature of their families, and in such cases, they develop their own unique behaviors, which are shaped by other unknown factors.
The correctness of the law is very important in determining the strength of human virtues. Aristotle lived when the world was chaotic and greatly affected by moral issues such as abortion, political chaos, capital punishment, and many world problems that are still in existence today. He chose to be a social activist despite him being a philosopher, and he said that correctness of the law shapes the moral behaviors and hence the virtues.
For instance, a child brought up in a chaotic environment is likely to adapt chaotic behaviors and consequently have problems in changing the behaviors at adulthood. This observation adds value to his argument that virtue is an element of practice not nature as is the case for passion; hence, the reason why the nature of current social justice system could affect the behaviors of future generations.
Civic Friendship
According to Aristotle, civic friendship is an essential element for human good and hence necessary in achieving a flourishing life. He defined civic friendship as a form of friendship that dominates in the public arena rather than in interpersonal relations in the case of mutual and personal forms of friendship.
The adjective civic , points at the political arena, by implying that friendship is defined at the level of citizenry relations for the goodness of the state. Aristotles idea holds that there is a direct relationship between personal and civic relationship, which is necessary for the maintenance of law and justice, but is also based on human virtues.
By looking at the modern world, it is clear that the fastest flourishing economies and companies define human relations as one of the factors that determine success. However, it does not mean that those relations are civic friendship as not every successful economy or company upholds human freedom for there are policies that define human relations in such environments.
Effective civic friendship makes people act kindly and politely to each other, thus creating a productive society where law and justice are upheld. In such a situation, people come together in the formation process of public policies that have benefits to the entire community.
This aspect explains the lack of civic friendship as the root to the animosity behaviors that are evident in the modern society. These ill behaviors include corruption that mainly comes from selfishness of the few in authority, which can render to the collapse of a seemingly successful company.
Traits of the Best Places to Work From the Best Places to Work Institute
Apparently, history repeats itself and what comes around goes around. Many research studies show that the American workplaces are destructive to the human virtues. Businesspersons and employers seem to have been ignored Aristotles ideas for a long time they have viewed employees as their most noble assets for their businesses. However, according to the Best Places to Work , the twenty first century has come with challenges that have rendered employers into reshaping their business strategies to conform with the ideas of the great philosophers like Aristotle.
According to the research study by Crowley, the American smart companies have realized that the greatest competitive advantage is achieved by ensuring that employees find a happy work place to the extent that potential employees would feel encouraged to apply for job opportunities in such firms. However, it is hard to make a good workplace where employees needs would be the employers first priority always (Crowley Para. 12).
According to the Best Work Places, employers should consider various factors in order to develop a good work place that would make employees happy at work. Those factors are designed according to the Aristotles idea of happiness, whereby it is eternal and closely related to virtues.
Hence, to bring forth the employees eternal happiness, employers should consider the aspect of integrating the workers virtues in the package. In the majority of research studies carried out in the American corporations in the past decade to identify the source of employees job satisfaction, the findings were shocking.
It was found out that employees acquired job satisfaction from their coworkers relationships, but not from their relationships with their supervisors or bosses. In the twenty first century, some corporations like Google found out the strategy of developing the Best Work Place as a key competitive advantage and the company has performed better compared to others that are yet to adopt this strategy.
Some of the factors that make a Best Work Place include building trust at work place, acknowledging cultural diversity, building teamwork, and enhancing employee morale.
On building trust at work, employers are required to give minimum supervision to the employees in an effort to make the latter feel a sense of belonging and responsibility. This aspect enhances talent development and encourages horizontal communication strategy, whereby an employee does not feel inferior to talk to the senior personnel in the workplace.
Secondly, the twenty-first corporations should appreciate and acknowledge cultural diversity. The world has become a global village and advanced technological advancement has resulted to globalization, whereby a corporation is required to hire employees from different cultural orientations. In a bid to create a sense of belonging, employees are required to respect one another and appreciate cultural diversity for the goodness of the corporations operations across various cultures in the world.
Thirdly, employees are encouraged to embrace teamwork in their places of work. Gone are the days when workers were forced to give individual contribution at the workplace like was the case in the slavery period. Nowadays, employees are encouraged to work as a team against another opposing team as opposed to individual contribution. Team building is achieved through social events that are organized to bring the employees together.
Lastly, it is very important for employers to consider employees morale as a crucial element for the success of a corporate organization. There are various ways of enhancing employees morale that include awarding and recognition, training, pay rising, and promotions.
These ways are directed to the personal values and virtues, which are crucial factors for determining happiness. An employee would feel good whenever a boss calls and says thank you for the commendable job that you did. Moreover, other employees who do not receive awards and recognition would feel encouraged to work harder in an effort to make their contributions recognizable.
On the other hand, training and development is very important for both the corporate and employees. An employee who undergoes training receives up to date knowledge that would boost the corporations competitive advantage.
There are instances whereby some employees are founder to be weaker than others are, and in such cases, the employer has a moral obligation of improving employees skills. This goal could be achieved by placing the poor employees next to employees who are good in those fields and encourage them to assist one another whenever one is stuck.
Comparing and contrasting Aristotles ideas about civic relationships with these contemporary notions of best places to work
Aristotles ideas have been ignored for a long time, but research shows that American corporations have changed from the traditional methods of disregarding his ideas to a point of embracing the same. Employers have realized that employees job satisfaction is directly related to business performance in the contemporary world.
Aristotle stated that happiness comes from within and it depends on the virtues. Hence, employers are working on virtues by creating working environments that would encourage employees to build confidence and satisfaction in their work. In so doing, employers look into things and activities that would enable them to have a direct contact with employees.
Civic friendship is seen to dominate in the workplaces, which is also the basic determinant for a Best Work Place. Through civic friendship, employees can work as a team and develop good coworker relationships. According to the Aristotle, civic friendship allows an individual to care for one another in the public phenomenon, and thus corporate environments are the individuals public phenomenon. Civic friendship enhances social justice in a state as well as in a working environment.
This assertion implies that through the adoption of Aristotles ideas by the corporations of the twenty first century, employers have realized the need to ensure effective social justice mechanisms in the work place. The majority of the leading American corporations have legal mechanisms in place that deal with employees issues and grievances. Nowadays, American employees hardly to go to industrial courts after having disagreements with their employers due to effective policies and mechanisms put in place at the workplaces.
Conclusion
The most notable difference that contradicts the Aristotles idea of civic relationship with the traits of Best Places to Work is the element of hypocrisy in the latter. Aristotle was talking from the point of achieving common good for the entire humanity regardless of economic status, which is yet to be achieved in the contemporary corporations.
However, the American corporations of the twenty first century have moved to applying Aristotles ideas for the benefit improving employees performance, which essentially contributes towards the firms well being, but not that of the employee. This aspect implies that corporations are embracing Aristotles ideas for their own good, as opposed to the goodness of humanity.
Works Cited
Aristotle. The Nicomachean Ethics of Aristotle, New York: Filiquarian Publishing, LLC, 2007. Print.
Crowley, Mark. Why Companies Are (Finally) Falling All over Each Other to Become Best Places to Work, 2013. Web. <https://www.greatplacetowork.com/>
Friendship plays an important role in the life of each person. It is impossible to live and enjoy every day of your life without true friends. Not everyone is lucky to meet a good friend and trust him/her during the whole life. Henry Thoreau was a lucky person, as he had several really good friends that helped him make his life complete. Edward Hoar, Ralph Emerson, Ellery Channing, and Harrison Blake helped Thoreau with either his personal troubles or writing career.
The poet created a wonderful work, Friendship, where he perfectly described not only his attitude to friends and friendship in general, but also he made a wonderful attempt to analyze what made perfect friendship. A man may love the truth and practise it / Beauty he may admire / And goodness not omit / As much as may befit / To reverence (Thoreau ??) He underlines that friends make a considerably part of our lives, and people cannot but take really good friends for granted. It is impossible to predict whether your best friend may become your true love or not, however, you have such thoughts in your mind.
When is understandable that friendship becomes love? Is it, in fact, possible to understand? I fain would ask my friend how it can be / But when the time arrives / Then Love is more lovely / Than anything to me / And so Im dumb. (Thoreau ??) This poem tells about how deep friendship can be. A person without friends can be easily lost. Only friends may show the right way, give reliable pieces of advice, and help not to make a mistake. So, it is not odd if your friendship can become something more, love, for example, and people should not be afraid of such changes, just clear up what is happening and why, and what circumstances can be. This is what the writer tried to tell in this poem Friendship, and he did it great.
In general, the contribution to the literature made by Henry Thoreau plays a very important role. His rejection of living in society in order to understand the nature deeper is one of the unique approaches chosen by writers. He does not call upon to follow his example; however, he suggests using his experiments and analyzing the results. His works are wonderful and really interesting masterpieces about nature and its impact on humans. Not every person is able to understand the essence of nature, its uniqueness, and importance.
In his poems and essays, the reader can find lots of useful information and pieces of advice. The idea of relations between people is another issue discussed by the writer. To my mind, his close connection to nature and a kind of isolation from people helped him to understand deeper the true meaning of friendship, love, and devotion. However, it is necessary to admit that not all his works are dedicated to nature. Lots of his masterpieces have political or even philosophical nature. This is why his poems and essays are interesting to a wide range of people.
To a considerable extent Thoreau needed to define himself in opposition to his audience whether it was his actual audience or his rhetorically contrasted audience. Yet his ambitions as a reformer, as a prophet of Transcendentalism, or as a professional writer demanded that he never simply dismiss or ignore his audience. (Myerson 89)
With the help of his friends, such as Emerson and Channing, the reader gets an opportunity to read and enjoy the works of this great writer nowadays.
Works Cited
Myerson, Joel. The Cambridge Companion to Henry David Thoreau. Cambridge University Press, 1995.
Smith, Bradford. Men of Peace. Lippincott, 1964
Thoreau, Henry, D., Paul S. Thoreau. A Collection of Critical Essays (Twenty Century Views). Prentice Hall Trade, 1962.
Classical literature, including Greek and Roman mythology, includes numerous examples of close male friendship. The specific perspective of the Greeks and Romans on same-sex relationships is supported by various mythological situations, where the hero must rely on the help of a trusted male companion or other such stories. The reason for such attitude can be found in the patriarchal culture and the dominant role of free adult males in the Greek and Roman social life. Moreover, male friendship was considered to be a positive concept for the society and was encouraged in the culture. This paper seeks to further expand this thesis and find examples in history and mythology to prove it.
In Ancient Greece, the social order was largely patriarchal, which meant that the male social roles were often prevailing. Boys lived in womens quarters but were obliged to attend the gymnasium with their peers to study various disciplines, including physical education. Although the culture of courting younger boys was socially accepted and even encouraged, adding to the concept of preparation for future manhood and war, sexual intercourse was not always the unique outcome of this practice.
As the boys were separated from the society of women, except their own family, until they were coming of age, the occurrences of strong and enduring friendships among peers or boys of different ages were inevitable. The meaning of friendly relations in the life of an adult Greek man was significant; in fact, according to Barry Powell, in the Archaic and Classical Periods, a man divided his social relations into clear camps of friends and enemies; a man was measured by the richness of gifts to his friends and the thorough punishment he gave to his enemies.
It was a friend to whom the man could turn to in the time of trouble and on whom he could always rely in search for help and support against his enemies. Such attitude has found its reflection in mythology. For example, the some of the most well-known myth where the hero relies on his closest friend includes the story of Achilles and Patroclus of Homers Iliad or Heracles and Iolaus in the myth of Heracles Twelve Deeds.
The pattern of the story usually follows the folklore and incorporates some specific patterns. Powell notes that in this case, the pattern would be such that the heros best and truest companion is always another male. Although the researchers still argue whether the relationship between Achilles and Patroclus in Homers masterpiece was purely platonic, or they were actual lovers; still, it is evident that the emotions of both men were strong and tender, and the grief and rage of Achilles after Patroclus death could be easily explained from both points of view.
In ancient Rome, however, the concept of friendship did not change much from the views of Greeks but rather developed and extended it to other areas of social life. The idea of friendship in Rome also included specific types of relationships, such as patronage, where deference existed between unequal individuals. Friendships were formed due to usefulness, desire for camaraderie, or mutual affinity.
Sometimes in various researches, it is also mentioned that friendship in Rome, probably even more often than in Greece, was encouraged between comrades-in-arms who were thought to fight better with a friend by their side and avenge ones death with double efforts, like mythological Achilles. Some of the stories depicting male friendship and relations include the myths about Nisus and Euryalus, the part of the Aeneid by Vergil, as well as Damon and Pythias, the legend, which was thought to describe an ideal friendship by Pythagoras. Another pair of friends who were sometimes mentioned in Roman literature was Orestes and Pylades, from the Greek myth of Orestes, son of Clytemnestra and Agamemnon.
All of these myths illustrate the concept of friendship and devotion of male companions, who are willing to give their lives for each other and try to follow their friends everywhere in their quests. These relationships are also often doubted to be purely platonic by nature; however, homosexuality in Ancient Rome was a concept taken not as lightly as in Greece, although the so-called Greek way was popular during several periods of Roman history.
Just like patronage, the idea of homosexual relations relied heavily on the paradigm of domination, and for a free adult male, it could be shameful to be engaged in such a relationship. It is difficult to distinguish the ancient descriptions of friendship and love relationship from the modern point of view, as the Western mindset was largely influenced by Christian culture and ideology.
The patterns and archetypes in ancient mythology have been similar for many cultures and time periods. The myths of Greece and Rome bear similarity with ones of Mesopotamia and the Ancient Middle East. Being highly patriarchal, these cultures would often pick the mythological patterns that could best serve the purposes of explaining the way things went in everyday life and of setting the right order of things in the mindset of every citizen.
However, this was not the only, and probably not the primary goal of male friendship pattern in mythology. Friendship and companionship, as well as love and devotion, were considered to be positive emotions, and usefulness to a companion was also able to ensure the stability of the society in general. The myths praised what was thought to be good and right, proposing the examples of true friendship that survived through the ages until the present day.
Bibliography
Powell, Barry. A Short Introduction to Classical Myth. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Education, 2002.
Classical literature, including Greek and Roman mythology, includes numerous examples of close male friendship. The specific perspective of the Greeks and Romans on same-sex relationships is supported by various mythological situations, where the hero must rely on the help of a trusted male companion or other such stories. The reason for such attitude can be found in the patriarchal culture and the dominant role of free adult males in the Greek and Roman social life. Moreover, male friendship was considered to be a positive concept for the society and was encouraged in the culture. This paper seeks to further expand this thesis and find examples in history and mythology to prove it.
In Ancient Greece, the social order was largely patriarchal, which meant that the male social roles were often prevailing. Boys lived in womens quarters but were obliged to attend the gymnasium with their peers to study various disciplines, including physical education. Although the culture of courting younger boys was socially accepted and even encouraged, adding to the concept of preparation for future manhood and war, sexual intercourse was not always the unique outcome of this practice.
As the boys were separated from the society of women, except their own family, until they were coming of age, the occurrences of strong and enduring friendships among peers or boys of different ages were inevitable. The meaning of friendly relations in the life of an adult Greek man was significant; in fact, according to Barry Powell, in the Archaic and Classical Periods, a man divided his social relations into clear camps of friends and enemies; a man was measured by the richness of gifts to his friends and the thorough punishment he gave to his enemies.
It was a friend to whom the man could turn to in the time of trouble and on whom he could always rely in search for help and support against his enemies. Such attitude has found its reflection in mythology. For example, the some of the most well-known myth where the hero relies on his closest friend includes the story of Achilles and Patroclus of Homers Iliad or Heracles and Iolaus in the myth of Heracles Twelve Deeds.
The pattern of the story usually follows the folklore and incorporates some specific patterns. Powell notes that in this case, the pattern would be such that the heros best and truest companion is always another male. Although the researchers still argue whether the relationship between Achilles and Patroclus in Homers masterpiece was purely platonic, or they were actual lovers; still, it is evident that the emotions of both men were strong and tender, and the grief and rage of Achilles after Patroclus death could be easily explained from both points of view.
In ancient Rome, however, the concept of friendship did not change much from the views of Greeks but rather developed and extended it to other areas of social life. The idea of friendship in Rome also included specific types of relationships, such as patronage, where deference existed between unequal individuals. Friendships were formed due to usefulness, desire for camaraderie, or mutual affinity.
Sometimes in various researches, it is also mentioned that friendship in Rome, probably even more often than in Greece, was encouraged between comrades-in-arms who were thought to fight better with a friend by their side and avenge ones death with double efforts, like mythological Achilles. Some of the stories depicting male friendship and relations include the myths about Nisus and Euryalus, the part of the Aeneid by Vergil, as well as Damon and Pythias, the legend, which was thought to describe an ideal friendship by Pythagoras. Another pair of friends who were sometimes mentioned in Roman literature was Orestes and Pylades, from the Greek myth of Orestes, son of Clytemnestra and Agamemnon.
All of these myths illustrate the concept of friendship and devotion of male companions, who are willing to give their lives for each other and try to follow their friends everywhere in their quests. These relationships are also often doubted to be purely platonic by nature; however, homosexuality in Ancient Rome was a concept taken not as lightly as in Greece, although the so-called Greek way was popular during several periods of Roman history.
Just like patronage, the idea of homosexual relations relied heavily on the paradigm of domination, and for a free adult male, it could be shameful to be engaged in such a relationship. It is difficult to distinguish the ancient descriptions of friendship and love relationship from the modern point of view, as the Western mindset was largely influenced by Christian culture and ideology.
The patterns and archetypes in ancient mythology have been similar for many cultures and time periods. The myths of Greece and Rome bear similarity with ones of Mesopotamia and the Ancient Middle East. Being highly patriarchal, these cultures would often pick the mythological patterns that could best serve the purposes of explaining the way things went in everyday life and of setting the right order of things in the mindset of every citizen.
However, this was not the only, and probably not the primary goal of male friendship pattern in mythology. Friendship and companionship, as well as love and devotion, were considered to be positive emotions, and usefulness to a companion was also able to ensure the stability of the society in general. The myths praised what was thought to be good and right, proposing the examples of true friendship that survived through the ages until the present day.
Bibliography
Powell, Barry. A Short Introduction to Classical Myth. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Education, 2002.
Friendship is something that cannot be defined in one singular or particular way. This is because friendships are not built out of convenience or need but rather, over time and familiarity. Although the basic definition of a friendship falls under the category of somebody whom we feel a level of affection and trust for (according to Google definitions) or perhaps a favored companion (Websters Collegiate Dictionary), the truth of the matter is that friendship is not just about the comfort we feel with these people. Friendship is a relationship that helps us grow by learning from the joy, sadness, anger, disappointment, and forgiveness that is necessary to make friendships flourish and grow into lifelong bonds.
In a way, the best friend any person can have is God. The reason I say this is because God symbolizes the true meaning of friendship in my mind. He is steadfast in his belief and support for us, he listens to our problems and troubles without judgment, and he is always forgiving and forgetful of our sins. He always gives us a second chance to prove our selves and change that which is negative in us without demanding change from us. He allows us to grow in the knowledge and confidence that he is forever by our side and will be the only friend we have to turn to at any time of the day or night, in any situation. When everyone on this material plain has abandoned us, God is the one true friend who, just like in the poem Footprints in the Sand , continues to walk beside us and guide us when we think that we have been forsaken by everyone else.
It is easy to call anybody a friend, it does not require much effort to be one anyway. But, to be a true friend, in the very essence of the word is something that most people fail to be because of one reason or another. Be it personal envy, greed, gossip, or simply wanting to one up a person, is enough to destroy a friendship between people who have built their relationship on a shaky foundation such as need or necessity. A true friend needs only to be a good listener and a supporting arm when needed. By being a good listener, you become a good friend because you come to realize your own short comings as mirrored by those around you. In return, you get to help other people solve their dilemmas and realize that they have helped you become a good or better person in the process.
I am a person who does not easily make friends. But those whom I do gain, I do my best to keep. Of all the friends I have made though, one of them stands out in particular. I think that the reason our friendship works so well and has become a very deep and solid friendship is because we have helped each other mature and deal with serious situations that not most people have to deal with. Ironically, you might say our friendship is a Godsend because it came at the lowest point in my life and came in the most unbelievable form. The internet. Due to the distance between us and the cost involved in a real, flesh and blood meeting, we have sufficed for the past 10 years with phone calls and internet chatting. I think the friendship works best because this way, we have no chance nor reason to judge each other in a way that could be damaging to our friendship. Instead, we have a friendship solely based upon trust, understanding, care, and support. Friendship can truly be found in the most unexpected places. What you do with it and how you nurture it will define the meaning of that friendship to both of you.
Of course we have to realize that friendships come to have different meanings and applications depending upon the gender of friendship. Women tend to have a majority of women as friends because of the similarities of life paths and experiences, the same goes for the men. However, when the two genders mix in the friendship pool, what we have is an equation for what hopefully will be the best form of friendship imaginable, a marriage and bonding of souls. But, do not mistake that to mean that being lovers is the same as being friends . In my opinion, lovers are friends on a shallow basis. There is nothing that exists to create a friendship that may ultimately stand the test of time. Lucky are those who find lovers that can evolve into the deepest and truest meaning of friendship. Having a male friend helps women to understand how men think and how to deal with them. A woman with a male friend comes to understand gender differences and stereotypes that go along with it. The same goes for men. In the end, such a friendship is more of a learning experience than anything else for both genders.
On the other hand, there is nothing in the rulebook that says all our friends have to be bipedal human beings. Like I said before, friendship can be found in the most unexpected places and in the most unexpected forms. This includes the most taken for granted companion of man, his pets. A dog or a cat takes the place of the non judgmental best friend that we all seek. Even though pets cannot advise us, simply having them there to listen and cuddle up to when we are troubled has been medically proven to have calming and positive effects on a person. You might say that they are the physical embodiment of the way God is a friend to everyone.
Friendship requires a very delicate balance of loyalty, honesty, and trust worthiness. As friend, we need to know when to break the bonds of the 3 characteristics of a friend if it means the difference between helping a friend survive or allowing them to implode beyond help. Nobody can say what the right mix is, a true friend will know when the right time to risk the friendship for the betterment of the other friend would be. And that will test the friendship and see how well it will survive, or not. It becomes difficult to deal with other people when we refuse to see ourselves in them. by allowing ourselves to view others as mirrors into our inner selves, we end up facing our own demons instead of running away from them.
Indeed, a true friend is someone who knows all our faults and shortcomings but likes us anyway. After all, friendship is all about learning from each other and helping each other become better versions of our individual selves and each other. Author Anne Perry once wrote in her novel No Graves As Yet that:
But isnt the art of friendship very much the selecting of what is important and allowing some of the mistakes to drift away until we lose sight of them? We dont forget so much as let the outlines blur, accept that a thing has happened, and be sorry.
That, in my opinion, is the real meaning of Friendship and how it helps us attain ultimate perfection.
Work Cited
What is Friendship? How To Make Friends, True Friends . suite101.com. 2007. Web.
Friendship is one of the most precious things we have in our life. There is a strong necessity in someone, who would support, assist, give an advice, or lend some money at least. This could be only a close friend. It is often hard to find real friend in the modern life, as people often pretend, become insincere, etc. So it becomes not an easy task to discover a friend out of all this insincerity and hypocrisy.
Value that is stated in friendships is frequently the result of a friend showing the following on a steady ground:
Trust
Honesty
Sympathy
Mutual understanding
What Friendship Is
First of all, I would like to mention, that introducing somebody as a friend converses more promise to what one possibly mean applying this word. It takes time for somebody to call another person a friend, and if it happens, these two persons become the participants of each others intimate circles of communication.
For me, friendship is one of those unusual things which fit in the temple. But one is not aware of that type of friendship; it is necessary to study it. Friendship is a great skill. Love has an original instinct behind it; friendship has no original instinct behind it. Friendship is a matter of consciousness; love is absolutely unconscious.
As far as I can judge, a friendship is probable only between two open souls. Then one is open to the other, tempting to the other, then one is constantly an incitement. How can people be friendly? If ego is on the first place there is no credibility of friendship. This way friendship becomes just a mask. To my mind, the original character of life is like a jungle: the big animal eats the smaller one. Even if one pretends to be friendly, in jungle (within people with ego on the first place) it looks like show, coldblooded tactics, or at least diplomacy. No one can be a friend unless ego evaporates. Once ego is taken off, the entire life has an excellence of friendship. Then people become friendly, friendly to everybody, as nothing else matters.
How friendship is Significant for Me
Friendship is regarded to be the purest love. It is the peak form of love where nothing is required, any situation, where one just enjoys helping and offering assistance. One obtains much but that seems insignificant, and that happens of its own agreement. Friends never own each other. The most essential thing in friendship is to provide entire freedom to the friend to be himself. There is a faith, there is no requirement to control or dominate; there is no necessity to bind a friend by circumstances. Actually, only trust joins two friends.
Everybody would agree that friendship has its own attractiveness, and if anyone can take pleasure in it, it is in some regard better than a love issue. I consider that love issue is always nervous. There are instances of contentment but they are often few. There are also lots of unhappy instances. A friendship is a more concrete matter; it is based on a more solid ground. Friendship has a deeper balance than love. Friendship someone is much more important in this life than oneself; someone else has turned to be more precious.
Conclusion
A ruddy drop of manly blood
The surging sea outweighs,
The world uncertain comes and goes,
The lover rooted stays.
I fancied he was fled,
And, after many a year,
Glowed unexhausted kindliness
Like daily sunrise there.
My careful heart was free again,
O friend, my bosom said,
Through thee alone the sky is arched,
Through thee the rose is red,
All things through thee take nobler form,
And look beyond the earth,
And is the mill-round of our fate
A sun-path in thy worth.
Me too thy nobleness has taught
To master my despair;
The fountains of my hidden life
Are through thy friendship fair. (Emerson, 2000)
As for me, this short verse reveals the very essence of friendship. It is noble, pleasant giving, joyful& Any epithet may be given to it. Inspite of the fact, that all the peoples praised friendship as the greatest moral value, they considered that real friendship is rather infrequent thing, and imagined it as an ideal lost in the past. As German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer once noted real friendship is one of the things, like gigantic sea serpents. It is absolutely unknown are they imagined, or really exist somewhere
References
Ralph Waldo Emerson, Atkinson B., Oliver M. (2000) The Essential Writings of Ralph Waldo Emerson Modern Library; Modern Library Pbk. Ed edition.
There are more than six and a half billion people living on this planet (United Nations 2008). Within this figure, there are six and a half billion differences: traits, likes and dislikes, ways of thinking. How should these six and a half billion people consider who is trustworthy enough to be their friends?
Trust is essential in friendship; however, its not easy to get, especially when a person has just entered into a group or if a group has just been formed. It is natural for an individual to have reservations and doubts that spins in his mind as he enters a group, doubts about what the others are like, and whether they are trustworthy. Although finding out the answers for these doubts is possible, it takes time and the chances of coming up with correct descriptions or identifications are very slim. Moreover, it is not possible for an average human to accurately predict what another is thinking in that exact moment.
The movie Reservoir Dogs, directed by Quentin Tarantino, has described friendship in a criminal world. Here, time is the main contributor in determining the trustworthiness between criminals. Each member of the group found out who really is a friend and who is not. They found out in time who should be trusted, and who should not. The group started out happily but ended tragically.
In the movie, there are six men included: Mr. Brown, Mr. White, Mr. Blonde, Mr. Blue, Mr. Orange, and Mr. Pink. The 6 top notch criminals were brought together to rob a diamond warehouse (IGN 2008). All of them thought that the operation will go smoothly as planned, and the diamond robbery will be successful (IMDb 2008). They confidently thought that nothing could go wrong. Unfortunately, something did go wrong.
Friendship has two faces: The true and the pretentious
There are reasons why people wanted to make friends. Dishonest and unscrupulous people want to make friends because they are up to something like material benefits. They dont recognize the real essence of friendship and are pretentious. On the other hand, there are those who wanted friendship because they want to connect to people spiritually these kinds of people recognize the true meaning of friendship. One thing is that people share or are concerned with the welfare of the other (Helm 2005).
At first, they believed in and trusted each other, and that they have done what they were told. They went through all the plannings, rehearsals, storytellings and joking around to try to get along with each other. At that time, they considered each other as friends.
Joe, Eddie, and Vic (also known as Mr. Blonde) shared a unique kind of relationship than the rest of the gang. Joe is the groups crime boss (IMDb 2008). One proof is that when Vic was called to Joes office to hear the robbery plan. Inviting a person to come over to visit the hosts residence requires a higher level of trust. Also, Vic and Eddie try to make a mess of Joes office by wrestling with each other without much restraint. All of these shows an intimacy of friendship is developed as trust elevated between them.
Another proof of the close ties that the three share is during the operation. Among the members of the group, only Vic has contact with Eddie:
[on the phone as he (Eddie) drives to the warehouse] All I know is what Vic told me. He said the place turned into a fucking bullet festival. He took a cop as hostage, just to get the fuck outta there. said Nice Guy Eddie.
Only Vic has the means to keep in touch with Eddie compared to the rest of the members of the group. This implies that the level of trust is high between Eddie and Vic.
Another proof to their relationship is the reaction that Eddie showed when Mr. Orange told a story about Mr. Blonde planning to kill Eddie:
Let me say this out loud, cause I wanna get it straight in my head. Youre saying that Mr. Blonde was gonna kill you, then when we got back, he was going kill us, take the satchel of diamonds, and scram. Im right about that, right? Thats correct? Thats your story?
Eddie said this in a very angry way when he heard Mr. Oranges story. He didnt believe in Mr. Orange, as he remembered their friendship, that Vic did something for him and Joe in the past that he is happy about. Eddie trusted that Vic would never do such a thing because of the close relationship that they share. In response, he retorted at Mr. Orange explaining why he didnt believe him:
Eddie said: He couldve fuckin walked. All he had to do was say my dads name, but he didnt; he kept his fucking mouth shut. And did his fuckin time, and he did it like a man. He did four years for us. So, Mr. Orange, youre tellin me this very good friend of mine, who did four years for my father, who in four years never made a deal, no matter what they dangled in front of him, youre telling me that now, that now this man is free, and were making good on our commitment to him, hes just gonna decide, out of the fucking blue, to rip us off?
Afterwards, friendship was also displayed among the three of them. There was a time when the police caught and imprisoned Vic because of dealing with hot items. Although he was caught and had gone through a series of interrogations, he never mentioned anything about Joe and Eddie. Because of this act, after four long years, the tie that they shared between them became stronger so strong that Joe and Eddie could trust him with what he does. The good thing is that their friendship didnt end in betrayal. To them, Vic is always a true friend who is ready to help them, aside from being their right hand in the operation.
Friendship was also portrayed in a scene where Mr. White showed concern to Mr. Orange. Mr. White on the other hand, showed his concern to deeply wounded Mr. Orange while driving towards the abandoned warehouse (IGN 2008). At that point, he was very worried and had tried comforting his badly wounded friend, Mr. Orange. He tried every way that he could think of to do something about it despite their situation. He had never stopped arguing with almost everybody he sees about getting medical attention to his friend. He sought not only once or twice, but thrice for it which can be seen in the scenes when Mr. Pink arrived, when Mr. Blonde showed up and when Nice Guy Eddie arrived at the scene.
Joe arrived last and declared that the rat in the group is actually the wounded Mr. Orange. Mr White firmly believed this was not true and defended Mr. Orange from Joes accusation.
Mr. White said: Youve made a mistake. Hes a good kid. I understand. Youre hot, youre super fucking pissed. Were all real emotional. But youre barking up the wrong tree. I know this man. He wouldnt do that.
A rat is an insult for somebody untrustworthy, mean and deceitful, who betrays his or her friends. Mr. Whites defense towards Mr. Orange has shown Mr. Whites confidence in his trustworthy friend Mr. Orange. When Mr. White asked for proof about the accusation, Joe said that, He was the only one I wasnt 100% on. I should have my fuckin head examined, going on a plan like this when I wasnt 100%. Mr. White still didnt believe. Unfortunately in his case, his belief and trust got betrayed in the end as Mr. Orange confessed to him that he was indeed a cop. Whereas Joe and Eddie received loyalty from Vic, Mr. White received betrayal from Mr. Orange. It all turned out at the end that Mr. Orange was not a friend at all as he had lied to and betrayed the group from the very beginning.
Betrayal is an unexpected surprise
Betrayal does not only apply to friendship but to the own self as well. It is defined as going against promise, harming another person or a group by helping and giving information that is confidential to the enemy. It also includes delivering somebody or something to an enemy unintentionally. There are scenes in the movie that depict these kinds of actions.
One scene is when Mr. White betrayed the group by disobeying the rule ordered by Joe, that prohibits any group members to tell others about their personal information like names and where he is from. Because of circumstance, he reveals his name and where he was from to Mr. Orange in two separate incidents. First is he told his name when they were on the way to the rendezvous point. Second is when Mr. White was about to tell his name to Mr. Pink, Mr. Pink reacts hysterically:
& I didnt tell him my name. I didnt tell him where I was from. I didnt tell him what I knew better than NOT to tell him! Fuck, fifteen minutes ago you almost told me your name!&
Not only did Mr. White break the rules, he killed Joe and Eddie in a Mexican confrontation (IGN 2008). At that time, Joe pointed his gun to Mr. Oranges chest, Mr. White pointed his to Joes heart, and Eddie aimed his at Mr. Whites head. Eddie and Larry (Mr. White) were friends as what Eddie said: &you and I have been friends, and you respect my dad and I respect you& It shows Mr. White had betrayed his friend Eddie.
Another betrayal scene in the movie took place when Mr. Orange who actually works for the law, betrays his group by revealing information about the groups plans and whereabouts to the authorities. He even shot Mr. Blonde (Vic) 12 times when he was about to burn Marvin, his police mate. Mr. Orange deceived and betrayed the whole group as he hid his true identity, as at the end, Mr. Orange confessed he is indeed a cop. Mr. White, at last ended up being killed by the policemen despite all the concerns that he showed to Mr. Orange. The complicated emotion of being betrayed swirled inside Mr. White. He pointed his gun at Mr. Orange and tried to kill him.
Mr. Pink also displayed betrayal to not only to the group but also to himself. As the movie comes to an end, although he tried to stop them from shooting each other, he just hid and waited until they finish. After that, he comes out of hiding, gets the bag of diamonds and tries to flee. His actions betrayed his words, as he gets too emotional in this incident, which shows he is not a professional even though he repeatedly said that he is.
Loyalty: willfully given and not forcefully demanded
After everything that had happened, each character displayed certain levels of loyalty. But the three most notable ones are the loyalty displayed by the police officer Marvin, undercover agent Mr. Orange, and Vic. First, Marvin kept what he knew to himself. An example of this is him not revealing any secret just to protect Mr. Orange. Even he risked his life and encountered extremely painful physical torture, for instance, when Mr. Blonde slowly sawed off his right ear, and fought until Eddie shot him three times, killing him. He ended up this way because he tried to maintain loyal to and protect Mr. Orange by not answering Mr. Blondes question as to who the rat is.
Mr. Orange, endured two gunshot wounds, which are an unexpected gunshot from a lady civilian and a bullet shot from Joe. This had tortured him badly, even gave him the idea that he was dying. He only screamed and swore around inside the escape vehicle. Even though he suffered that much, he remained loyal to his commitment as an undercover agent. Whatever happened to him, he didnt review his secret agent identity to anybody.
Vic, on the other hand, displayed his loyalty to Joe and Eddie. As when he was facing the four years of persecutions and brutalities in prison, he managed to keep his mouth shut and kept the two from falling into the hands of the law. When Marvin asked Vic about their boss Joe, Vic denied knowing anything saying Excuse me pal, one thing I wanna make clear to you, I dont have a boss. Nobody tells me what to do. The loyalties of Mr. Orange (also known as Freddy Newandyke), Marvin and Vic were unmatched all throughout the story. They fought for what they believed in until the end. They went through so much trouble and pain, and even death but remained loyal to their duties.
Eddie, despite his confusion, displayed his loyalty to Joe, as he threatened to shoot Mr. White if he doesnt point the gun away from Joe. On the other hand, Mr. Pink showed a different kind of loyalty to the group and Joe, because he reacted hysterically and argued with Mr. White about mentioning names and other personal information. His loyalty to Joe and the group was proven at that point.
No one really knows what another is thinking. A person always carries a heart that cannot be exactly understood. Sometimes, a person is even not sure what his own heart is thinking about and would not be even surer of anothers. Proof of this is when Mr. Joe cannot accurately predict if Mr. Orange is truly an undercover agent. Nevertheless, despite this handicap, true friendship does not demand or require anything in return. Genuine friendship does not forcefully demand loyalty from another person, as loyalty presents itself voluntarily. Betrayal does not show up immediately but is found when the situation presents it.
As the world constantly changes through time, it is unavoidable the people come and go. It is accepted that people you know may either stay or leave you. There are people who stand by you or leave you when the sky is grey. Yet, even though the world is like this, there remains hope. There remain true friends who would stand, defend, share, feel, and accept a person for who he or she is. There remain friends who would stay with and never betray you.
References
Gladstein, R. N., Ronna Wallace, Monte Hellman (Producers), & Tarantino, Q. (Director). 1992. Reservoir Dogs [Motion picture]. United States: Miramax Films.
The internet has become an essential part of everyday life of a huge number of individuals all over the world more than two decades ago. It broke into almost all the spheres of life of modern society, creating professions, providing information, and making connections previously people could hardly think about. The burst of social networks and blogs has brought communication opportunities on a completely new level. People started to make friends in the countries they hardly heard about and of the interests, they even could not imagine. Sometimes individuals go into online relationships that deep, that it is getting hard to tell them from real life relationships. Friends they make online seem to be more real than the people they meet every day in school, college or workplace. The modern world tends to the situation when people develop the greatest empathy towards their online friends because it seems that the ratio and the deepness of these relationships can be controlled; written and posted information gives more time to analyze and be more selective towards individuals people want to communicate with; and online friendship provides with access to a some kind previously forbidden world.
The present work majorly will be based on the article Online Friendship Formation, Communication Channels, and Social Closeness and the interview conducted to Kate Stevenson, who is a long time social network user. Kates approach to making online friends is based on common interests as well as on the way a person of interest expresses his or her thoughts, his or her behavior and loyalty to others opinion. The amount and the quality of the content the person shares also play their role in making Kates decision. Actually, the first glance on the timeline gives the idea if the person is interesting to me and if he or she is worth following, says Kate. If the further content still invokes her interest, and she shares the individuals way of thinking or the situation described is familiar to her and she feels that she is likely to discuss it; as well as she feels some kind of empathy towards the person she follows, she starts to socialize. Cases like this sometimes develop into an online friendship. Kate is a relatively sociable person and has quite a few offline friends. Her social network life has become active when she moved to another city leaving all her friends and family behind. The thinks that was the way of overcoming homesickness. The article actually supports this assumption as individuals who are close to their face-to-face friends will have less need to develop online friendships (Mesch and Talmud 31) and online socializing is common to people who lack understanding and communication in their real life.
Though Kate talks about herself as about a long time social network user, she says that there are only a few people of those she met online, she can classify as friends. These people gave her support and understanding in some kind of struggling situations during her lifetime. She experiences warm feelings and inclination towards them, and would gladly meet them offline, spend some time together and provide with certain help. Actually, this fact correlates with a statement from an article reflecting that the stronger are the ties, the deeper will be the sphere of personal and intimate communication (Mesch and Talmud 41). Kate also mentioned that there were few times when she shared an intimate information with people online, she fell inappropriate to discuss with offline friends. The information was not of critical content, but she would rather discuss it with people she never met in real life. On one hand, it might be concluded that Kate had never experienced forming ties that strong to discuss questions of intimate nature with her offline friends. On the other hand, acute and personal questions are more eagerly discussed with people whom we barely know, anonymous people, whom we will tell our deepest fears and concerns, knowing that we will never meet them again (Joinson 210).
Thus, Kate moved to another city she stays in touch with her old friends, but because of the distance, the most appropriate way to communicate is online. As a result, some people who were close to her previously find it difficult to communicate often, but some others, who were not close before, appeared to become supportive and understanding. Relationships with them shifted to other, a bit higher level, revealing some attractive personal sides Kate was not aware of before, as she was communicating them offline. In addition, it supports the research data that the closeness at different degrees can be both observed in online and offline communication (Amichai-Hamburger, Kingsbury and Schneider 38). She also became closer to her parents and more understandable towards them as their online communication developed.
People tend to form deep ties through online communication because of some personal crisis, lack of offline understanding, and the feeling of constant or temporary loneliness. The information gained online can lead the attentive user to the formation of bonds of close friendship, develop trustful relationships with a person you might never meet offline. Some personal features of the person of interest both attractive and repellent might be discovered through online communication. All this leads to deeper understanding and thus forming stronger ties.
Works Cited
Amichai-Hamburger, Yair, Mila Kingsbury, and Barry H. Schneider. Friendship: An old concept with a new meaning? Computers in Human Behavior 29.1 (2013): 33-39. Print.
Joinson, Adam. Oxford Handbook of Internet Psychology, Oxford, UK: OUP Oxford, 2007. Print.
Mesch, Gustavo S., and Ilan Talmud. Online friendship formation, communication channels, and social closeness. International Journal of Internet Science 1.1 (2006): 29-44. Print.