Category: Friends

Friendship is a profound human connection that enriches our lives in countless ways. Yet, like any relationship, it comes with its share of pros and cons. In this narrative essay, I delve into the joys and challenges of friendship, drawing from personal experiences to highlight the complexity and significance of these relationships.

Thesis Statement

Friendship is a beautiful tapestry woven with moments of joy, understanding, and shared experiences, but it also presents challenges that test our patience, communication skills, and emotional resilience.

Pros of Friendship

1. Emotional Support and Understanding

True friends offer a safe space to express our thoughts and emotions without fear of judgment. In times of need, they provide a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, and unwavering support that reminds us we’re never alone.

2. Shared Experiences

Friendships are built on shared experiences, from adventures to mundane activities. These moments become cherished memories that contribute to our personal growth and sense of belonging.

3. Different Perspectives

Friends often come from diverse backgrounds, exposing us to new ideas and perspectives. Engaging in conversations with them broadens our horizons and fosters intellectual growth.

4. Unconditional Acceptance

True friends accept us for who we are, flaws and all. They celebrate our strengths and stand by us even during moments of vulnerability.

5. Laughter and Joy

A good friend knows how to bring a smile to our face, even on the gloomiest days. Laughter shared with friends is a powerful remedy for stress and a reminder of life’s simple pleasures.

Cons of Friendship

1. Miscommunication and Conflict

Misunderstandings and disagreements are inevitable in any relationship. Friends might occasionally disagree, leading to misunderstandings that require open communication and patience to resolve.

2. Time and Distance Challenges

As life evolves, friends might move away or pursue different paths, leading to physical separation. Balancing time and maintaining the same level of connection becomes more challenging.

3. Jealousy and Envy

Emotions like jealousy or envy can sometimes creep into friendships, causing strain and eroding trust. These feelings require open dialogue to address and resolve.

4. Unrealistic Expectations

Expecting perfection from friends can lead to disappointment. Recognizing that everyone has limitations and flaws is crucial for maintaining a healthy friendship.

5. Drifting Apart

As people change and grow, their interests and priorities can shift, potentially causing friends to drift apart. Accepting that not all friendships are meant to last forever can be challenging.

My Personal Experience

Throughout my life, friendships have shaped my experiences and taught me invaluable life lessons. I remember the laughter-filled sleepovers, the late-night heart-to-heart conversations, and the shared dreams that fueled our aspirations. These moments of joy were a testament to the strength of my connections.

However, I’ve also encountered the challenges that come with friendships. There were times when miscommunication led to unnecessary conflicts, and the geographical distance strained our ability to stay connected. Jealousy and envy once disrupted the harmony of a close friendship, reminding me of the importance of open dialogue and mutual understanding.

Ultimately, my experiences with friendship have taught me the significance of embracing both the highs and lows. The cons of friendship serve as opportunities for growth, testing our communication skills, emotional intelligence, and patience. Navigating through these challenges has strengthened my ability to foster meaningful connections and appreciate the depth of human relationships.

Conclusion: A Tapestry of Joy and Resilience

In conclusion, friendships are a rich tapestry woven with moments of joy and resilience. The pros of friendship, including emotional support, shared experiences, and diverse perspectives, provide a foundation of understanding and connection. Meanwhile, the cons, such as miscommunication and drifting apart, challenge our emotional maturity and communication skills. Embracing the full spectrum of friendship, with its joys and challenges, enriches our lives and teaches us the importance of fostering meaningful connections that stand the test of time.

The song “Just Like You” by Luis Tomlinson (2017) is somehow different from Shakespeare’s Sonnet 29. Louis Tomlinson used a range of poetic devices to help write his song about him as a girl and the differences in their feelings and thoughts about love. He wants to tell the girl that love isn’t just about cash and cars, but about feelings. He describes their feelings similarly but then moves on to say love isn’t about cash and cars but feelings. The poetic devices he has used are alliteration, rhyming pattern, imagery, symbol, repetition, rhyme, and stanzas. While on the other hand, Shakespeare’s Sonnet 29 (1609) is about what/how a person feels when they’re in love with someone. For those that have felt this are worthless and overshadowed by others. They overcome this feeling by thinking of the person they love and who loves them in return. The first 8 lines of the sonnet are very depressing and sad while the last 6 are happier and lovely. To help write his sonnet Shakespeare has used poetic devices such as personification, simile, metaphor, iambic pentameter, hyperbole, imagery, repetition, and rhyme. We will be talking about the sonnet by Shakespeare and analyzing it. Shakespeare’s sonnet will be more distinctive as it includes more poetic devices.

Shakespeare’s Sonnet 29 is about what/how a person feels when they’re in love with someone. For those that have felt this are worthless and overshadowed by others. They overcome this feeling by thinking of the person they love and who loves them in return. To help show this the sonnet uses poetic devices such as personification, simile, metaphor, iambic pentameter, hyperbole, imagery, repetition, and rhyme. Personification is shown in line 3 stating “deaf heaven” Heaven isn’t deaf but is given a human characteristic which makes it personification. He also uses similes for example, Featured like him, like him with friends, possessed” “like to one more rich in hope” and “Like to the lark at the day arising”. Which are shown throughout the whole sonnet. They are all similes because they are comparing two things by using the word like. He also uses an iambic pentameter, Iambic pentameters are usually in all poems and songs no matter what type they are. Hyperbole and imagery are also used for example “bootless cries”. Bootless cries can be described as both imagery and hyperbole. He has also used repetition to keep the sonnet in a rhythm. This can be shown in line 7 repeating the word “man’s” The last thing he uses is rhyme which is also used in most poems to keep the poem flowing, this can be shown in almost all of the poem as the rhythmic pattern is ABABAB. Overall the sonnet is very successful in portraying its theme and subject matter through the use of poetic devices.

Louis Tomlinson’s song “Just Like You” (2017) is about a boy Louis himself telling a girl how he feels about her and the fact that their feelings are the same. The two people shown in the song are believed to be boyfriend and girlfriend. He reckons that the girl he is talking about is just after his cash and cars and doesn’t fully understand how he feels for her, and the fact that she should feel the same. Louis has used a range of poetic devices to portray this such as alliteration, a rhyming pattern, imagery, symbol, stanzas, rhyme, and repetition. Alliteration has been used in the third and fourteenth lines, for example, “Whole world in my right hand” and “Same stress, same shit”. Alliteration is usually used to give the song/poem a bit of a flow. Alliteration also focuses the readers’ attention on a section of text. Alliterative sounds create a rhythm, and mood and can have particular connections. Louis has also used a rhyming pattern which is ABABAB, a rhyming pattern is the structure of end words of a verse that poets or songwriters need to create when writing a poem, and most poems are written in free verse style. Another poetic device used is imagery and symbol, they both are used for the phrase “Whole world in my right hand” as the words whole and world are the symbols. It is also imagery as you can’t hold the world in just one hand. Rhyme has been used in the song for example “” do through and knew” Rhyming words are also usually used to keep the song or piece of writing in flow. The last poetic device used is stanzas, usually, all pieces of writing have stanzas. Louis has used 8 stanzas throughout his song. Overall Louis has used a variety of some different poetic devices to write his song.

Shakespeare’s sonnet and Louis Tomlinson’s song have been written at two completely different times, yet they use almost the same poetic devices. They have both used almost the same poetic devices as both pieces of writing are almost about the same thing, they have the same subject matter and theme. Louis’ song is about a girl not understanding feelings about love and is just after cash and cars, while Shakespeare’s sonnet is about what/how a person feels when they’re in love with someone. For those that have felt this are worthless and overshadowed by others. They overcome this feeling by thinking of the person they love and who loves them in return. Shakespeare has used poetic devices such as personification, simile, metaphor, iambic pentameter, hyperbole, imagery, repetition, and rhyme. While Louis on the other hand uses alliteration, a rhyming pattern, imagery, symbol, stanzas, rhyme, and repetition.

Overall Shakespeare and Louis have written two very successful pieces of writing, whether it’s a song in 2017 or a sonnet dating back to the 1600s. They both include poetic devices to help portray their messages through the song. Even though the two pieces of writing were written at two completely different times they both use poetic devices still used today by everyday people who write songs or poems. Louis’ song is about him wanting to tell the girl that love isn’t just about cash and cars, but about feelings. He describes their feelings similarly but then moves on to say love isn’t about cash and cars but feelings. While Shakespeare’s sonnet is about what/how a person feels when they’re in love with someone. For those that have felt this are worthless and overshadowed by others. They overcome this feeling by thinking of the person they love and who loves them in return.

Friendship is one of life’s greatest gifts, yet not everyone is blessed with it. We encounter a lot of individuals on our path through life, but only a handful of them leave an impression on us. Best buddies are one of those people who have a beneficial influence on your life. They will be in our lives for a long time, and our relationship with them will still grow. Most significantly, we should consider ourselves exceedingly blessed to have someone in our life as a best friend. The only relationship we acquire throughout our lives is that of a good friend. To discover a suitable buddy who is kind, caring, helpful, honest, and loyal. This is our greatest accomplishment, which comes in the shape of a loyal buddy. Without a doubt, in the company of our childhood pals, we always discover something fresh and thrilling. A happy moment spent with friends is a form of enjoyment that cannot be expressed in words. It’s always fun to spend time with friends, whether you’re doing group study or attending someone’s birthday celebration. Friendship entails being comfortable with and liking each other’s thoughts. A friend is someone who recognizes and respects a person’s abilities. A good buddy assists or encourages you to make the best decisions and avoid getting into any difficulties. True friends have a range of characteristics that distinguish them as someone unique in one’s life. Here, we’ll discuss several characteristics of a real friend and how they affect friendship. For instance:- Good listener, Loyalty, Trust, Support, Reliable and many more.

Good listeners – Having a good listener as a friend is essential. As a result, your friendship will be superficial if you cannot listen. Having sympathy for one another- True friends should constantly have compassion for one another. They must be able to empathize with their friends, regardless of whether they agree with the situation they are experiencing.

Loyalty – True friends should be faithful to one another at all times. A good friend should never betray you, talk behind your back about you, or do anything else that calls your friendship into doubt.

Trust – Friendships should be based on trust. One should have friends to whom one may trust all of one’s secrets without the danger of them being revealed to others afterward. Every relationship is based on trust and without trust there is no friendship.

Support – Good friends should always be willing to lend a helping hand. You should have pals you can rely on for assistance and support.

Reliable – A good friend is someone you can count on in any situation without hesitating,

My name is Audrey Lee and I was born on the 22nd of August, 1998 in Los Angeles, California. I had a happy, normal childhood. I attended a private primary preschool and after my little brother was born in April 2003, my family moved into a house in the suburbs outside of Los Angeles, California. I have attended public schools from elementary school to high school. Currently, I attend Menlo College, a private business school double-majoring in Marketing and Human Resources. It is difficult for me to pick a single life experience that has happened to have me develop my understanding of the “self,” but one life event stands out amongst the rest. Three years ago I lost someone who had a significant role in my life. Losing him I lost my sense of who I thought I was.

Growing up in the suburbs I learned early on to grow a thick skin. As the only Asian student in my elementary school and neighborhood, I was teased and bullied endlessly. Despite the social struggles I was having in school my growth of ‘thick skin’ also applied when talking to my parents about how my day at school went. From very early on I never liked talking about the problems I would face in my life because even though they are my parents I still feel like I would burden them. Kindergarten was a place for new beginnings for me and coming from downtown Los Angeles to a completely new zip code was a big change. A month went by and I was still friendless but despite the challenges I faced as a new student at a new school I eventually ended up meeting a sweet boy. He protected me, kept me company, and genuinely enjoyed talking to me. As years passed we watched each other flourish and become the people we were. Eventually, we attended different schools but never lost touch. He was my best friend. From kindergarten to junior year of high school the love we had was tested, processed, and projected in our friendship. The love was unconditional. So when I lost my best friend, I also lost myself.

Amongst all of the challenges that I have faced in life on the 24th of April, 2016 at 5:45 pm was one of the hardest events that I had ever imagined facing. On the 24th of April, 2016 I lost my best friend. I lost the person I spent more than half of my life with, told all my secrets to, and shared my time with. Losing him, I lost myself and thus the meaning of my existence. I was rapidly heading down the spiral of depression that I have been struggling with for a very long time. To say I am not depressed now would be the understatement of the century. The years following the death of my best friend have been the most challenging years of my life but also the most rewarding. I found myself questioning my self-worth and identity but also, discovering the meaning of what and who can make up my identity. Everyone tells you that your pain gets better with time and that you will be alright and grow from experiences like these. The pain does not get better with time you just learn how to cope with it more efficiently day by day. Someone who does not understand the meaning of coping or having a coping method struggles longer to find peace in their life. That someone is and was me. It is 2019 and I am now only letting myself feel. This man has been building me up since I was young. He taught me that it is okay to be selfless but to also be grounded enough so when and if I got taken advantage of I would always be able to get back up. Never be afraid to get hurt because getting hurt is a part of life and it opens your eyes to show you the strength that you never thought you had before. Always have courage no matter what and always love deeply.

The only way that we can live, is if we grow. The only way we can grow is if we change. The only way that we can change is if we learn. The only way we can learn is if we are exposed. And the only way that we can become exposed is if we throw ourselves out into the open. Sometimes the universe shows you what people from your past are doing now, so you can see how far you have grown. Those who were once a frequency match, are now energetically a million miles away. Evolution and growth is a beautiful things.

My journey has molded me for my greater good, and it was exactly what it needed to be. I do not think that I have lost time. There is no short-cutting in life. It took each and every situation that I have encountered to bring me to the now. And now, is right on time. To say that I know who I am and what my purpose is in this life is still unclear but what I have learned is that I am stronger than I have ever been. I have a broader understanding of my inner self and over the years, the challenges that I have faced and overcome have developed a new outlook on what my life could be and who I could be.

My friend Matthew Ross is a big part of my life, I met him in high school, and ever since we have been best friends. In 2018 Matthew gave me an understanding that I needed, he made me realize that I’m not the only one with a different kind of family. That is the main reason I interviewed him and tell his story. A tall white boy about 6,1’ guy who is skinny but loves to always eat chick fil a, with blond short hair always combed to the right side changed the way how I see things today. He is the leader of a group when you meet him and you realize that more when you hang around him all the time but mostly he is very honest once you sit down and talk to him and have a conversation and get to know him, a great friend.

In 2019 I decided to interview Matthew, we went to his dorm located in south commons and I explained why I was doing this and he agreed to do the interview instantly. We walked into his dorm room, the clothes were neatly folded, and the bed was made, the room was spotless. He had got out of class at Oklahoma State University (OSU) and decided to clean his room. He had an OSU hoodie he had bought from Walmart on with a white shirt underneath with jeans. He tried making his roommate Jared quiet down since he was being a bit loud playing his guitar. I started the interview around 2 pm so we had enough time to talk since it was Tuesday so Matthew and I only had one class at 11:30 then were done for the rest of the day. The first question I asked was “Why are you so confident in the family you belong to?” He replied with “When I was young my dad left when he was young and eventually came back, my mother was always there for me whenever I needed someone to rely on. It might sound a little f**ked up a father leaving his children from an outside perspective but I know that they both do love me a lot and definitely care about me and like any other parent would their kids.” He started explaining to me that although his family is all over the place and a bit confusing in some ways doesn’t make her family, not a family anymore.

I asked for his permission “If he was cool with telling us more about his father?” and he replied with a “yes” along with a sigh since it was not a topic he talked about much often. He started to explain how his Parents weren’t really married, his mom got pregnant at around 20 years old right after high school and his dad was 19 at the time. They were really happy for Matthew to come to the world but his mom didn’t know that his dad was a bit worried. When he was born his mom took care of him mostly with the help of his mothers, mom, and dad. His dad was around for a bit in the beginning but did not live with them. He continued to tell me after he was a few years old his mom and dad decided to have another child which is now his younger sister. And once his sister was born that is when his father was completely out of the picture left.

Matthew lived with his mother, his aunt and uncle, and his new little sister who was not even near learning how to begin walking in a big two-floor house with a front porch where they would sit and talk in Enid Oklahoma — where we met in high school. He said that he calls his uncle and aunt mom and dad just like he does his parents because they were his parent figures growing up along with his mom since his dad left at an early age and refers to his uncle and aunt as real parents. I asked If he ever reunited with his father at some point. He said he actually reunited with him but never understood or got a concrete reason for what happened and why he left and tried reuniting with the family but didn’t stay long before he left again. When his little sister’s sixth birthday came, he showed up but left and took her and left with her without giving any explanation as to where he was going.

Around this time Matt was about 10 years old and was at the age where he could understand more things clearly but he just couldn’t really grasp why his father had left that was still a mystery waiting to be solved. He said that he loved his mom but he wanted a family like all his friends at school and not a family that was without his father. I asked Matt, “Did it affect you in school growing up with his father out of the picture and did it change anything about you?” he said, “Of course it did!” Any normal child with a family f**ked up as mine is going to find stuff difficult and go through hell and take it out on someone. It did not affect him that much but he said he used it any time he failed he would use his father leaving as an excuse if he got a bad grade on an assignment or didn’t study the night after for a quiz, he had the next day. He would blame it all on his mom for not having enough time for him which was all really because he didn’t have his dad in the picture. I asked if he ever caught up with his dad again since he must have wondered all this time. He explained that he did see his dad again around his sophomore year of high school but it was a bit uncomfortable for both of them since there was a lot of emotional stuff and crying from his side. He just wanted to fight him but at the same time ask why he left and took his sister without any explanation and never came back. The only reason he was talking to him was because Matt reached out to him. Of course, he loved seeing his dad again they talked for hours and went to a park and talked about his sister and how she was doing. She started going to school and had a tuff time making friends and misses him and not spending time with him and runs around the house making noise and bothering everyone and sharing the same room and being roommates.

Later he began to talk about his sister and he found out that she had Autism. He only knew his sister from when she was 6 so he didn’t really notice anything different since he was young, he never noticed that his sister was different. He told me that when he reunited with his sister, she recognized him a little but not much about him. All his sister could kind of remember was them running around the house and making noise and how they shared a room. But his dad did what he did best and left and moved his sister to another school with different people and he never understood what was wrong with his sister. The more we talked we seemed to get off topic a lot talking about our fathers and stuff that went on in our lives and how a lot of stuff happens through time and where we are now. He said “Most of his bad childhood made him who he is now” and that’s why he’s always helping out others any chance that he gets. But after the interview, he did mention that he and his father were still in touch and he still sees him on weekends or sometimes on holidays, they go out together and just catch up, he says there’s no point in holding a grudge so he forgave his father. His sister lives with his dad and he is now living on campus moved away from his mom but goes to see her any chance that he gets. Interviewing a friend was great because I got to share why Matthew was a great influence and taught me a lot in high school when I was still struggling with my parent’s divorce and my father getting remarried. It made me put my situation in perspective and realize that it was not that bad and that there are worse things that happen and not everyone has a great family, and if you do have a great family good for you and cherish every moment!

Just last year, I experienced my first toxic relationship. I completely lost sight of who I was because I was struggling trying to keep the relationship afloat, and I constantly thought, “How am I supposed to fix a relationship that is broken into a million pieces.” So many things were amiss in the relationship that I didn’t know where to start, but eventually, I decided that the best place to start was communication. Proper communication is substantial when it comes to each and every relationship. We need relationships to get through life, every single relationship has its peaks and valleys, but a vigorous communication style can make it much easier to deal with disputes and erect a stable and healthier relationship. When we sat down and had an in-depth conversation we learned things about each other that we didn’t know at first and we came to an understanding that satisfied us both.

I started with communication because it is undisputedly the most important building block of any healthy relationship. Regardless of how well we think we know someone or how long we’ve known them, we cannot read minds. We have to learn how to communicate distinctly in order to avert misinterpretation that may lead to confusion, pain, animosity, or anger. The most common types of communication are Verbal and Non-verbal. A relationship can’t just have one person, it takes two or more people to create a relationship, and each person has different needs and methods when it comes to communication. Therefore when we are in a relationship we need to find a way of communication that befits the relationship. When we are verbally communicating be transparent and genuine, in order for what’s being said to be received and clearly understood. When we communicate, we can say a lot of things without actually speaking. The tone of our voice, the posture of our body, and even the expressions we make on our face sends a message. Those Non-Verbal ways of communication can tell others how we feel about them.

Besides communication, there are three other important building blocks of a relationship. Trust, respect, and support. Usually, when there’s participation in any group activity whether it be a team sport, camp, or extracurricular, there’s often a team-building exercise, and various types of activities used to enhance or improve team social relations. The most common team-building exercise is trust falling which is where a person deliberately allows themselves to fall backward, trusting that the person behind them will catch them. Trust means trusting oneself, one’s judgments along with trusting others. Trust is the infrastructure for any relationship. Without it, the relationship is unstable and bound to fall. Trust gives reassurance and helps overcome obstacles. There are going to be arguments in every relationship, but there should be an assurance that the relationship is more robust than any disagreement. Challenges and problems may occur in the relationship, but both people in the relationship should be able to overcome these obstacles together.

In a relationship, both people should support each other and treat each other as equals. There shouldn’t be manipulation or tactics used against each other, to control or put each other down. Supportive partners will always want what’s best for the other, they won’t try to hinder or stop the other from what they desire, if they have a dream they’ll support them in pursuing it. Being able to feel like oneself and not like there has to be any change made to fit an image that the other person thinks they should be. There shouldn’t be any feelings of sacrifices being made or having to give anything up just to make the relationship work, both partners are supposed to be each other’s cheerleader, someone who will cheer and support the other no matter what.

Respect is not about liking or admiring; nor is it about veneration, esteem, or admiration. Respect is not obedience, compliance, or agreement. Respect is not fear, and most importantly respect is not negligence. Respect isn’t about putting someone above others, it’s about treating every living and breathing person with care and courtesy. Disagreeing is not the same thing as disrespect. Instilling fear can breed a lot of other feelings, such as hate, irritation, or anger, but respect most likely won’t develop from fear. A fear-based relationship is a poor communication method. Listening is essential in a relationship, listening and trying to understand their perspective is a key way to show respect in a relationship

Relationships are the way in which we are connected to someone. There are many different amounts of relationships: friends, family, platonic, toxic, healthy, romantic, interpersonal, and many more. The most common and basic relationships are friends, family, and romantic. When I was in the fifth grade, my first true friend from when I moved from Florida up and decided that she didn’t want to be friends with me, and of course, my little 10-year-old brain couldn’t quite grasp why she came to this decision. Grade school me thought friendships were supposed to last forever, but the truth is they come and go. True friendships have characteristics such as kindness, love, forgiveness, and loyalty. A true friend is faithful, authentic, and honest. A true friends should always want to help without looking for a reservation or reward, they should be a friend when it’s convenient and when it’s not. They should always show their true colors, they shouldn’t try to paint an image of something that they are not. A true friend goes beyond the limits, any true friendship calls for some level of vulnerability.

The word relationship comes from the root word “relation” which means the sense or state of being related, and the root word “ship” is a Native English suffix denoting condition, character, office, skill, etc. A relationship can easily be seen as a journey or trip. Just like taking a journey, relationships are a process of ongoing development and exploration, detours are bound to be taken, intersections may be encountered, losing sight of the destination might occur, or it could change as an outcome of where the journey ends. Relationships endure further than our physical being; they’re always moving, contorting, and turning – perpetually adapting structure rather than objective.

When there isn’t enough effort or energy being put into the relationship, it will cause the relationship to fail. Relationships are essential in life due to the fact that they give a lasting impact on others. When we are down and the world seems dusk, nothing touches our hearts more than the support of the people who we hold dearest. When they hold a conversation with us or even just speak, their words descend deep into our hearts, and not only our minds. When people are on their deathbed they don’t only think about their achievements or awards, and they could care less about the part they played in society. When someone may be breathing their last breath all of those things lose significance and become meaningless. All anyone wants to do when they are about to be kissed by death is to be around the people they care about.

When a machine or appliance breaks then either a technician goes and repairs it or the apparatus is replaced altogether. The same thing goes for a relationship as well. Just like a machine a relationship has various parts that need to be put together, they can break down and go to pieces, and they need ongoing maintenance and repair work. Some relationships come with a lifetime guarantee warranty and some don’t. Letting the other person know what they did that might hurt, can help mend a broken relationship, but if nothing is being said then nothing can be fixed. It takes two to waltz, being in a relationship also means being in a partnership. Both people can’t have it their way all the time, common ground has to be found that satisfies both parties. Finding a double win is the goal, but if that isn’t possible then settle on something a bit less that can still be agreed upon by both. Embracing change can positively affect the relationship, the same thing can’t be done expecting a different outcome. When things are broken keeping everything the same won’t help it get fixed. Change can be frightening, so prepare emotionally for the transition. If there isn’t success at first then keep trying, if resolution is the way to get the relationship up and running again then don’t quit trying.

Communication is one of the steps in developing a relationship. Communication acts as the judge, jury, and executioner who has the final say in the relationship. A Lot can be told about a relationship by the words being exchanged, even by the words that aren’t said but are still being exchanged. Being open-minded can either make or break a relationship, considering the other person’s feelings and not just thinking one-sided can help the relationship tremendously, everyone wants their feelings considered and to be heard. Learning to give and take feedback is important because there are bound to be arguments. Feedback should be given in a timely manner, saying the wrong thing at the wrong time can cause deeper problems in the relationship, be sensitive to the needs of the other person. If they give feedback that hurts then express it calmly. Empathy is the ability to experience and relate to the thoughts, emotions, or experiences of others just by their words and or actions. Empathy should be developed in relationships because there should be comfort in knowing that the other person can assuage the feelings by sharing mutual feelings. Both people in the relationship should be able to step into each other’s shoes and be aware of their feelings and understand their needs.

Relationships are like investments, they take a great deal of time and money, but building and having relationships are crucial to life because we all need to have the sense of being connected.

When you think of the word ‘friends’ or ‘friendship’, what is the first thing that comes to your mind? I guess some vivid memories that excite you to the deepest down, a person or a bunch of people so close and attached to you that losing them gives a sore feeling.

I wonder what origin came up with the term ‘friend’, a pure relationship of understanding, forgiveness unforgetful memories, even if you lose contact. Old English ‘frēond’ means ‘one attached to another by feelings of personal regard and preference’, from Proto-Germanic ‘frijōjands’, meaning ‘lover, friend’.

Sometimes I wonder what true friendship is. As I tend to shift houses every two years because of my father’s job. So, I get to meet new people every two years, which means new friends every two years. To be very honest, it’s very hectic to settle in a new place and adjust to new people, and most importantly find FRIENDS or people of the same interest, basically good friends. Although I get to meet new people that’s a perk to shifting places, some people are just hard to let go of, and when I say that you meet many along the way of life but only some stay with you forever, I mean it as its basically more of a personal experience. So, when I give it a thought, is it just hanging out with your friends, spending time together, is that all? Well, actually no, this six-letter word has too much meaning to it.

A friend is someone who stands up for you. When others try to hurt you emotionally or physically, they do everything they can to make sure you stay safe. They don’t care who is trying to harm you; they will defend you anytime, anywhere. If they can help you, they’ll do it without reservation or reward. A true friend consistently has your back and answers you with empathy, perspective, and honesty. You can be your true self around them and rely on them to the fullest. Rich or poor, a true friend always accepts you, neglecting all the differences. They want what’s really best for you, true friendship doesn’t abandon you.

Friendship is one of the greatest bonds anyone can ever wish for. Lucky are those who have friends they can trust. I finally found the people I could term as ‘friends’, finally found the people who immensely cared for me, who were there for me when I really needed someone, but in the end, I had to leave them. They’re the friends who I had to leave, but can’t forget and I am still in contact with. I’m so grateful to have met them. True friends are basically blessings and hard to find. Once you find them, cherish them, they are pure keepers.

Friendships are undoubtedly a huge part of any teenager’s life. Teens often rely on their friends to share good times with one another, support and help each other during hard times, and feel like they fit in somewhere. However, a new Pew Internet Project report found that a whopping 93% of teens ages 12-17 go online daily, and 57% have met a new friend online, how many of those online friendships are authentic friendships? In my opinion, making real friends on the Internet is not good. Friendships formed online are nowhere as valuable as friendships formed in person because anyone can be anonymous on the Internet, there is a lack of true affection and understanding in these relationships, and this can prevent people from socializing outside of the Internet.

One of the reasons it’s not a good idea to make real friends online is that anyone can pretend to be someone they’re not. Anyone can remain anonymous on the Internet. It is difficult to get to know the other person without meeting them face-to-face and seeing their body language and expressions. In the article ‘Making Friends Through the Internet’, the author states that “if you are dealing with someone who is not forthcoming about their identity, you don’t know his or her motive for doing so”. There are many incidents in which what seemed like nothing more than an online friendship turned out to be a much more sinister case of online grooming. According to the NSPCC, grooming is “when someone builds a relationship, trust and emotional connection with a child or young person so they can manipulate, exploit and abuse them”. This can be far easier online as online groomers have a multitude of ways they can target teens. Groomers often find their victims through popular sites, social media, or online forums and games. The process can take place anywhere from a short period of time to an extended period of time. The predator might lie about their age, send fake photos/videos they say are of themselves when it really isn’t, or pretend that they share the same interests and problems to appeal to the teen. A horrifying incident occurred between 14-year-old Breck Bednar and 18-year-old Lewis Dayne, in which Breck had fallen victim to online grooming. That would have been the last thought on young Breck’s mind. The two had been communicating for some time through an online gaming group. They became ‘close friends’, and Lewis was able to gain Breck’s trust and eventually lured him into his flat, where he brutally murdered him. While this may seem like an extreme example, it is difficult to ignore that 500,000 predators go online every day, using cunning techniques to target even the most intelligent teens. Therefore, teens and children should be very careful about who they consider a ‘friend’ online.

Another reason why making real friends online is not a good idea is that there is a lack of true affection and understanding in such relationships. According to Julie Fitness, professor of psychology at Macquarie University, “There are a lot of cues you can’t share [online] like tone of voice, observing you interacting with your parents and other friends. If it’s exclusively online, you are curating the information you are communicating. You have an opportunity to put out your best self or only communicate things you are comfortable with”. There will always be some lack of trust and a sense of emptiness between online friends that can only be fulfilled between real friends offline.

Making friends online can also get in the way of socializing with other people outside of the Internet. For example, according to CNBC.com, Facebook users spend approximately 10.5 billion minutes each day surfing the site. That’s about 20 years per day that people spend living online instead of offline. What a tremendous waste that is. Healthline.com stated: “Being on your smartphone can drain the energy that could’ve been spent engaging in real-life interactions with your friends or family. Social media is never the prescription for staving off boredom, anxiety, or loneliness”. Even if all these online hours are spent interacting with an online friend, it is much more valuable for a teen to unplug and spend quality time with their families, neighbors, and offline friends, and look for new friends in their community.

While some people might say that they have several online friendships that have flourished into precious and genuine, real-life friendships, those situations are actually uncommon. According to a new Pew Research Center Poll, only 20% of all teens have met an online friend in person. And many of those teens reported their experiences as awkward and sometimes unpleasant.

In conclusion, online friendships should never take the place of real-life friendships because anyone can pretend to be someone they’re not on the Internet, only real-life friends will know you best, and it can prevent you from meeting new people in real life. In the article ‘Social Media, Pretend Friends, and the Lie of False Intimacy’, the author suggests: “Fundamentally, technology and our use of it isn’t-as we’ve all hoped-bringing us closer together. In fact, it may be driving us farther apart, as we know more and more people, but know less and less about each of them”. Only a real-life friend will feel your pain. Only a real-life friend can truly be there for you. It takes years to build a relationship like this, but it is worth it because it lasts a lifetime. We live in a time where everyone is looking for shortcuts, so people go searching through the Internet for friends instead of putting time and effort to find a real-life friend. In the bustling online world, a single click can make or dump a friendship.

In the 1970s, the understanding of the process of friendship remained an under-researched area of psychology. Friendships can take on many different forms and the role of friendships and the influence from peers can change with age. For many years, the role of friends and the influence of friends on the behavior of children had been left untouched in the psychology field. Bigelow and La Gaipa (1975) cited in Brownlow (2012,p.242) looked at the differences in children’s understanding of friendships at various stages of development. In this essay, I will evaluate the usefulness of their research for understanding children’s friendships.

In order to investigate children’s understanding of friendship, Bigelow and La Gaipa got children between the ages of six and fourteen to write an essay that described the relationship with a ‘best friend’ of the same sex. Using this method enabled the children to write whatever they felt was important to them as individuals, and the data was then collected in the format of the written text so qualitative data. (Brownlow,2012.p.245)

Before starting their studies they created a list of different characteristics that children might want to include when describing their best friend. They divided the list into 21 categories and then used context analysis in each essay. The essays were then analyzed and rated on the 21 dimensions created by the researchers and then a frequency count was applied. This proved to be a useful method as there was a possibility of comparing differences in the understanding of friendship between children of different ages or opposite sexes. The applied generalization greatly contributed to the understanding of friendship between children.

However, this method did have limitations because it was allocating the characteristics of friendships to predetermined coding, by doing so preventing the inclusion of friendship traits that did not fit into the pre-determined categories. Therefore, the transformation of qualitative into quantitative data may well have caused a loss in the understanding of the individual and personal aspects of the studied children. On the other hand, using numbers is easy and quick as you are quantifying, and it allowed them to draw reasoning about the differences between the age groups and make more systematic comparisons between boys and girls. (Brownlow,2012,p.245). By taking the written essays and turning them into a numerical format, they transformed the qualitative data into quantitative.

Had a qualitative approach been used it may have retained more of the individual depth of some of the responses. Their research was also limited in that it only looked at the same sexes. Another consideration is that younger children may find it difficult to write essays to express themselves in written form as younger children may lack the communication skills necessary to effectively discuss expectations in this form (Brownlow,2012,p.249)

The work of Bigelow and La Gaipa was groundbreaking for its time and played a major role in highlighting the development of friendship and the children’s changing understanding of friendship as they mature. However, at the time that they carried out their research, they could not have predicted the advances in technology or the speed of its progression. They would not have known that the concept of friendship would be extended to online friendships too. This is a good example of how technology has advanced and how the changing nature of human interaction constantly throws up new challenges for psychologists to address (Brownlow,2012,p.263)

Once completed the children’s essays were gathered, analyzed, and rated on twenty-one dimensions. Their findings highlighted three stages of children’s development in friendship expectations. From carrying out the research it was concluded that children move from egocentric to empathetic expectations of friendship.

Damon (1977) cited in Brownlow (2012,p.249) also carried out research on children’s friendships using interviewing which was a different method from Bigelow and La Gaipa. A major difference was that he was focusing on an individual level and didn’t compare to predetermined categories. He also didn’t try to make generalizations with regard to development age whereas Bigelow and La Gaipa did. (Brownlow,2012,p.249)

Corsaro (2006) cited in Brownlow (2012,p.250) also researched children’s friendships. He focused on how children talk to each other like Damon believing that research should focus on children’s individual understandings of the word ‘friend’. Corsaro wanted to explore what friendship means at particular times and how it is described in communication between children, rather than in a formal interview with an adult researcher.

Corsaro’s work involved making detailed notes of children’s activities and their interactions with others, as well as video recordings. This was an ethnographic study that was qualitative. His use of an ethnographic approach allowed for rich, complex data to be gathered, enabling a researcher to observe first-hand accounts of a child’s experience. With Bigelow & Gaipa you get a broad generalized picture, but not the detail. In contrast, Corsaro’s use of qualitative data provides richer detail. Corsaro’s approach was more flexible as children may vary. His finding that younger children showed concern for their friends contradicted Bigelow and La Gaipa’s model. Corsaro looked at cultural differences whereas Bigelow and La Gaipa looked at evolutional differences. Cultural influences may have an important role in shaping our understanding of friendships.

In conclusion, the work that Bigelow and La Gaipa did is important as it is one of the first studies of children’s relationships and gave an insight into understanding the changing nature of friendship which has been achieved through the three-stage model of development in friendship expectations that was developed using content analysis a problem with Bigelow and La Gaipa’s research is that technological changes have brought an additional dimension to children’s friendships, while there will also be drawbacks dependant upon the research technique they used. Although Bigelow and la Gaipa’s research was useful in looking at children’s friendships, and will thus have a time and place in history, there are now new cycles of inquiry. Technology has brought us online friendships, with the use of the internet and social media altering the fundamental nature of some friendships. Priorities may also have changed by changes in society.

Having a sense of safety allows a physical, mental, and emotional shield that protects us from the harshness constantly surrounding us. Safety is reflected in the environment and its inhabitants. People often play a role in the feeling and comfort of a place. Some create peace and harmony, others chaos. A lack of people and closeness in one’s life can manifest uneasiness and uncertainty. John Steinbeck’s Of Mice and Men follows two ranch hands during the Great Depression, a time of unsettled futures. Lennie Small and George Milton have been lifelong buddies and travel side-by-side in search of sources of income.

Together, they experiment with feelings of safety as a result of brotherhood. They share a story-like dream together: to own their own land. Lennie and George describe the men they are afraid to become, ones who are lonely without a sense of belonging. Lennie cries excitedly, “‘But not us! An’ why? Because… because I got you to look after me, and you got me to look after you, and that’s why’” (Steinbeck 14). George and Lennie pride themselves on the fact they travel together and care for one another. They share a very close friendship and share a close connection that keeps them both safe. While they are apart, George and Lennie worry about one another and long to be together. Steinbeck demonstrates that friendship and emotional connections can generate a safe atmosphere and ambiance. However, at the same time, the absence of friendship and the presence of loneliness and isolation can prompt a dearth of protection. On their quest for affluence, George and Lennie meet a swamper by the name of Candy. He had spent the last few years of his life working on a ranch only to lose one of his hands.

Candy’s best friend is the old sheepherding dog that he has had since a pup. The dog got eventually became too old and was no longer useful, so he was pulled off the pasture. Candy realizes that the ranch owner would treat him as he did his dog, and would “can” as soon as he was no longer convenient. Candy feels no atmosphere protection due to his old age often leaving him out and the meagerness of close friends. George and Lennie share their dream with the outcast, and he immediately wants to be a part of it and even offers to help pay for the land using the little income he had made. George tells Candy he needs to think about his proposition because he and Lennie had always planned on doing this themselves. Candy implores eagerly, “‘I’d make a will and leave my share to you guys in case I kick off, ‘cause I ain’t got no relatives nor nothing’” (Steinbeck 59). Candy is so incredibly isolated that he has no family or friends to leave his money to. He desires to have his own land and live with those who care about him and have a sense of belonging.

Candy is willing to give his money to two men he hardly knows, which seems to be the strongest connection he has had with anyone in a long time. Steinbeck proposes that safety can be attained in strenuous situations through a shared dream of outlying strangers. Furthermore, a lack of safety can be the result of racism and discrimination. Along the way, they meet an African American man nicknamed Crooks due to his twisted spine from a kick by a horse. Crooks is a stable hand who lives by himself amongst the animals in the barn because he isn’t allowed to sleep with the white ranch hands in the bunkhouse.