Category: Father

We cannot deny the importance of a father. We can no longer dispute the role he plays in the home. But how important is a father? And how difficult to grow up without a father?

In the bible, from the beginning, we know the role that our God has given to a father. God gives him the authority to lead his family. He should only be the pillar of the home. A big decision should always come from him. His permissions and advice should be honored.

The father is a man who always willing to provide and protect this family. Being a provider of the family, he needs to give the best for his children. Whatever the needs of his family he will always make sure that he will provide it. For him, being a good provider is one of his goals and he considered it a big achievement. He feels happy when his family is happy. He feels satisfied when his children are satisfied. His heart is jumping when his family saw all his sacrifices.

A father is also known as a person who has a big responsibility in disciplining his children, of course with the help of his wife. Most of the time all children in a family are afraid of their father when they saw him angry or when they are disciplining by their father, but that fear is with respect. They know that when he speaks a final word no one can change it. Our father is very kind in heart but in terms of disciplining he knows what is best and effective for all of us to be disciplined.

Even our father is very strict in terms of discipline, we can surely say that he is also one of the loving and thoughtful people we know. His discipline always accompanied with love to correct us. He is also one of the very strong people in the family, but his heart can easily be broken when his children are broken. Sometimes are father always shows his serious side, but he is also one of the funniest and jolly people we have in our life from our infancy until now. He is also the bravest and boldest man who can face anything, especially when he and his family are facing some difficulty. He is not afraid to fight for their problems because his goal is to solve it and make his family feel better.

Our father is also a protector. He will protect each one of us in a way that he can do. When he is in our house, all of us feel that we are all safe and secured. We all know that no matter what happens he will do his best to protect us. For example, when he has a daughter and someone wants to court her, the quick response of a father is to know that person first, to check the background of that guy and to observe what is the real motives and intentions that guy has for his daughter. All of us can relate to this, but this is very normal to all of us, we know that this is one of his ways to protect his daughter. Another example is father protection for his son when he notices that the friends of his sons have vices like smoking, the father will talk to him and explain the wrongdoings of his friend and what are the consequences he can face when he will continue to go with his friends. That is also the father’s way to give protection to his son’s life. Our father is always concern about our protection.

The role of a father is very important and without him, it is difficult for his children to grow up to be good people. A father will always have a big part and impact on his children’s life. A father should always be the role model for being a good person. He is also a good example of being responsible in life. We should always honor him and respect him. We should also follow his authority inside our family. As he loved us, we should also love him back.

In Eliezer Wiesel’s Nobel Peace Prize winning novella, Night, one of the most tormenting situations that trouble Wiesel involves father-son relationships which are breaking apart within the camps. Father-son relationships are evident when Wiesel is taken away from his homeland, when he sees other sons denying care for their own fathers in the camps and when Wiesel and his father interact with each other in various situations. Wiesel is forced to keep looking after his sick father because doing otherwise would mean he’d become as evil as the Nazis.

In Night, the story begins when the father plays an important role in the family, the figure head and the source of advice and strength not only to the family but to the Jewish community as a whole. Since he is accredited to the Jewish Council, he receives this respect. Despite the harsh conditions, they always choose to stick to each other regardless of the terrors that go on in the camps. This strong relationship starts when the Nazi soldiers arrive in the homeland of Wiesel

and start to deport the natives. His father is brought out as a man of culture who cares for other people’s welfare. By relying on important information from the authority to civilians, he cares for the people. From the moment the Hungarian police takes them to the prisons, they endure cruel and brutal conditions. Despite these conditions, however, Wiesel’s relationship with his father remains unchanged. The father is his son’s only role model, making Wiesel determined to be with his father. Wiesel expresses anger at times when he witnesses his father’s mistreatment by the hands of other inmates. He speaks about greedy sons who kill their fathers to save themselves, for example when he narrates about the food struggle on the train to Buchenwald, where a son beats his own father to death, as Wiesel notes, “Meir, my little Meir! Don’t you recognize me… You’re killing your father… I have bread… for you too… for you too…” (Wiesel 101). Wiesel finds it remarkable to understand how, during this harsh period, feelings of love and unity with his father are permanent while others abuse, leave, or even kill their own fathers.

Wiesel and his father illustrate the relationship between a typical father and a son. Wiesel is guarded by his father and given advice. He once questioned why Wiesel had to follow him to death rather than go with his mother and sisters. This love is also pretty clear towards the end of the book, where his father reveals where he had hidden the gold and silver, when Wiesel’s father comments, “Eliezer… I must tell you where I buried the gold and silver… In the cellar… You know…” (Wiesel 108). This also shows that he is responsible, and if he dies during the war, he wants to make his son happy before he is gone. The father-to-son’s protective nature is demonstrated as he protects his son from being strangled by a stranger; despite his frail state, he fights and saves Wiesel. Wiesel is faithful and obedient to his father. Before deciding to extract his golden teeth, Wiesel goes to his father’s advice on the issue, indicating that he has a greater trust and faith in his father’s words than anyone else.

During his life in the camp Wiesel is totally dependent on his father and he follows him every step he takes. Wiesel even teaches his father how to march properly to keep him by his side. His actions and feelings are a direct reflection of his father’s dependence. They value each other and are mutually dependent. During their stay at the camps, they pray, cook, share and sleep together. This becomes a deep, unconditional love for each other. This peer-like relationship goes all the way to the book’s end. During the 42-mile run to Gleiwitz, Wiesel helps his father along the way. He gives him support all the way through, as Wiesel states, “I inched my way through the crowd. Several SS men rushed to find me, creating such confusion that a number of people were able to switch over to the right – among them my father and I” (Wiesel 96). Although sometimes they were forced to separate, Wiesel always went back to look for his father amongst the crowd. During the 42-mile run, they begin to play the opposite of their presumed roles. The relationship changes towards the end of the book, becoming the opposite of the initial. Wiesel is becoming a father-like figure. During the run, he helps his father and advises him on why they have to run. His father is becoming extremely vulnerable, frightened, weak and more of a child. These actions clearly demonstrate that Wiesel has become mature enough to be a parental figure and has a responsibility to take care of his father.

In spite of the difficulties in the relationship between Wiesel and his father, the father-son relationship was not totally overdone. In Eliezer Wiesel’s Nobel Peace Prize winning novella, Night, Wiesel still had the same respect, trust and love for his father. He still saw him as his role-model, and until his death, he loved him entirely. His father also played a parental role by giving him his inheritance in the form of gold and silver that he had hidden from the Nazis. It is a simple example of a good father-to-son relationship that young people in today’s culture can imitate.

Perception on Role Differences between Parents

There are varied opinions from parents regarding parental role. Most of the parents expressed that role differences exist between the father and mother in children’s development and well-being. But the roles are equally significant. Most of the parents (especially fathers) said, “The role of the mother is greater than father. It is determined by society. Father has to go out for earning livelihood. The mother is with the child very often, so the mother has more responsibility.” Participants expressed that the mother role are feeding, nursing, cleaning and talking to them and advising them as they felt that mothers have many inherent qualities such as patience; they understand children better; they are more caring and they have a closer connection with their children. The participants also stated that father can involve sending and bringing the child from school, providing financial support, taking children to park or other outdoor, making decisions about schools and teachers.

On the other hand, some participants stated that there are no roles differences between father and mother in children’s development and well-being. They mentioned that it is the responsibilities of both parents to contribute to daily caring activities. They stated, “Now both parents are employed. When there is no mother, the father need to play the role of the mother. When there is no father, the mother should act the essential role of the father. In the days before, mothers played maximum role, and fathers ended up just buying things. Mother used to do all that. But now it’s not possible. The children’s development and well-being should be ensured by both the parents.”

Perception of Father’s Involvement in Children’s Development and Well-being

All of the participants agreed that father’s participation is mandatory for children’s development and well-being. Mother never meet up the father’s place. They said that father should be involved with the child from an early age. Otherwise, a distance is created with the child as he or she grows up; which impedes the child from forming an unconditional relationship with the father. They opined in this manner, “If the father is not involved with the child, it negatively impacts on child’s development and well-being. The child might think my friend’s father would take him around and my father would not go. His father brought him to school, and my father does not. His father feeds him, admires him, why my father does not do it! Does my father not love me?”

All the participants perceived that the father should be involved with the child from an early age. Otherwise, a distance is created with the child as he or she grows up. Which impedes the child from forming an absolute relationship with the father.

The Relationship of Father and Child in regards of Children’s Development and Well-being

Most of the participants identified that the father-child relationship should be friendly for boosting the children’s development and well-being. To them father-child relationship should be heartfelt and cherishing for children’s appropriate development and well-being. One of the parents expressed this patterns of responses, “The relationship will be such that the child can share everything with the father. This is the demand of the era. The father needs to know what a child is doing outside, what he is doing at school, what he is doing at the mosque. If he is rigid with his parents in the house, then the parents cannot notice if the child has been offended by anyone. Whether being abused by someone.”

Few of the parents reported that they viewed their relationship with their children both as friend and discipliner. One of them stated, “I think sometimes the father plays role like a friend and sometimes being tough when needed. Not everything can be made by friends. Again not everything can be done to be a strict father. It is not just a matter of fear, fear in focus of respect which if needed will be like a friend.”

It is very interesting that majority of the parents mentioned it causes problems for the children when both the parents are at work, At that time the children are mostly depended on the domestic helper or the grandparents. Most of the cases, the domestic helper are not trained or not old enough for caring a child or too old to care a child and moreover they are not sympathetic to the children. Furthermore, the working parents cannot give them time, the attachment with the children do not grow properly, children are not be given enough attention and affection due to parents tiredness. Most of the parents agreed that because of their job, they have to stay outside for most of the daytime. In this period the children do not get their parents, they become upset, feel neglected. This can hinder their mental development. As the caregiver are not caring, the children do not get the proper nutrition and they get sick easily. Moreover the children learn inappropriate behavior and language from the domestic helper. At the time of focus group discussion one of the mothers became very upset and stated, “One day my daughter told me, mother please cut my hair, didi (the domestic helper) grabbed my hair while beating. By hearing that I was very upset. But I didn’t tell the didi anything. I had no choice.”

Conversely, very few parents mentioned that they did not face any problems with both parents working. They also told that they give quality time when they return home from office and always be connected with their children via phone and give instructions to the caregiver. They said, “People say that working mother’s children are not developed properly. But if an incognizant mother (who is unaware about child’s development and care) is with the child for 24 hours, there will be no gain. If she can’t take care, children are not developed appropriately.”

According to the most of the fathers, mother was the responsible person of taking care of the children especially in early years. These fathers did not take up the charge of physical care in their children’s. The majority of the participants mentioned that the fathers’ took part in daily caring and rearing activities which were mainly talking or gossiping; watching movie or TV with them; taking them to a park or any relatives house or for a walk; buying toys or foods; playing with them and eating with them. Few of the fathers stated that they were engaged in some physical activities like: feeding, giving a bath to children, cutting their nails and dressing them. One of the mother uttered with sadness, “After the child was born, the father could not take the child in his arms. Didn’t even try. The father said that he could not take her in his arms, he thought that she might fall down. One day I was sitting with the baby in my arms as the baby girl did not sleep, and he (my husband) slept all night. In that time my child used to cry all night but the father did not help me at all.”

It is very interesting that very few fathers attended their children’s school activities regularly; the fathers assist the children rarely to prepare their homework. One of the mother described in this way, “Their father plays with the child, but does not sit with them to read. Even when I sit with our child to read and sometimes he scold me. He tells, ‘why are giving so much pressure. Let her enjoy, you should not give stress to her so much.’ It seems that her father gives them pleasure and I rule them.”

When the participants were asked about how they spend their holiday, they told that they spent more time with children and their family. Majority of the participants told that they watch movie together, visit any amusement park or historical place, going for shopping etc. Some also responded that they do house hold chores to relief their spouse. However, in holiday they spend more time with family.

Most of the parents agreed that the time which they spend with their children was still huge variances between mothers and fathers though minimal change has occurred. They shared that the fathers’ can pass hardly two to three hours with the children on a weekday and maximum four to five hours on a weekend. They also indicated that fathers’ work demand is a big factor, mother spent significantly much time with their children than fathers. One of the parents stated, “Now I have no time for my own. I try to give the child time after coming home. But most of the time, it is late night when I return home from office due to this work pressure. And my daughter goes to sleep to wait. I feel bad, when do not have time for my child, after coming home. And sometimes I’m so tired that I have to rest.”

When the participants were asked about fathers’ special activities towards children’s development and well-being, they replied that most of the fathers’ were very concerned about the children’s health. For child’s well-being they typically exchanged their ideas of social norms and shared their thoughts on how to cope with society.

Most of the fathers were happy to give advice, share their knowledge and perception on life to the children because they thought that by this way they could prepare their children. Most of the parents thought that it is their duty to prepare their children for the future life by giving them advice and share their life experience.

Some fathers reported that they give physical punishment when the child be naughty and they assured the essentiality of that punishment for the children’s well-being. One father explained, “I don’t beat the child that much. If they do not listen at all, give a slap or two. Children cannot always be understood by loving. I regulate them for the proper development and well-being of the children.”

On the other hand, some fathers stated that they did not punished the child rather they discussed about the issue with the child. One of them expressed, “I try to talk to my child. I try to understand his needs, his problems, his feelings, especially his state of mind. Then understand the situation and point the right path. I don’t like to give pressure on him. And I think that’s how his well-being will be ensured.”

Global Context

The study of the fathers’ involvement in child care days back to 1970’s when sociologists started to analysed the women’s movement, which happen in the 1960’s. In this period of time there was a massive overhaul on society roles and family structures. The changes, of course, included how children were raised. Earlier, there were many psychological and sociological studies from the ‘40s and ‘50s which studied about mother child relationships. As the roles of father increased in the ‘70s and ‘80s, it became important to acknowledge how fathers also acted as nurturer and caregivers for developing children’s.

During the 1980’s, there have found two informative paper which showed the father’s support as nurturers and also had a try to understand the fatherhood at that time. In 1981, Michael E. Lamb and Kyle D. Pruett had studied on the fathers’ Role of in Child Development. The findings of the both reports carefully complied and presented the research result on fathers and young children relationship (Weiss 1999).

Children whose fathers are present by their mothers’ side at the time pregnancy and the initial years of childhoods are more inclined to maintain a warm relationship with their fathers. (Hunter, 2018). Such children also are reported to have higher academic success, developed more career skills and better psychological well-being. Considering the percentage, 39% are expected to earn A’s in school, are 45% less likely to go through the grade repetition, are 60% less prone to suspension or expulsion from school, score on average 8 marks more on math and reading exams, score more points on IQ tests, are two times more expected to go to college and find secured work after high school and on the opposite 75% less prone to teen birth, are 80% less possibility to serve a jail sentence, 50% do not experience depression, are 4% less likely to experience cognitive delay (Nord & West, 2001). At the same time, men who take care of the children are more confident and better parents; more likely to take child father interactions in a positive manner; keep tabs on their children’s development and be more content with their lives (Eggebean & Knoester, 2001); be more able to understand themselves; empathically understand others; find parenthood for more pleasure; fewer hospital admission; feel more essentially important to their child (Heath, 1994).

If we understand the direct and indirect ways a father can stimulate child development then we will be able to have a thorough comprehension of the impacts of father involvement. This father involvement project is conceptualize to describe men’s role in caregiving across a range of task that can be grouped into three major parts. First one is engagement (spent personal time with children), second is accessibility (involved in household chores with minimal one-on-one interaction) and the third one is responsibility (when the fathers perform the activities which are mostly related with child care, like feeding the children, giving them a bath, putting them to sleep, taking them to schools and so on) (Lamb, 2004).

Desirable result have a high probability of coming true when there is intensive father involvement. The consequences for fathers of positive involvement are also caused by several healthy psychosocial outcomes or well-being; conjugal happiness, parenting skills, and intimacy to children are mostly depended on psychological and social aspects of sharing parenting (Ehrenberg, et al., 2001). First we have to know what the well-being of children means and how it affects the development of children, before we can make it an integral part of early year’s settings. The Children’s Society simply defines well-being as the quality of life or living standards as in how we are coping with our current situations. UNICEF (2018) recognized that the first five years of a child’s life is the most important when it comes to lay the foundations of the child’s future and life choices. The subjective and psychological well-being have several broad, Subjective: Self: health both physical and emotional, how the time spent; Relationships with family and friends, and local people; Environments: educational institutions, home and in addition the following aspects of psychological well-being and related issues: Psychological well-being: a sense of purpose, independence, proficiency, empathy. Other related issues: self-regard and hopefulness as children’s overall well-being (Rees, Bradshaw, Goswami, and Keung, 2010). Guardians should apply the healthy well-being strategy so that the children be benefitted in the long run to the extent of their adulthood and lifestyle choices. (Moriarty, 2018).

Bangladesh Context

Euro-western values of fatherhood and fathering have minimal acceptance in South Asia particularly in Bangladesh perspectives which have been mentioned above already. Bangladesh is a country of South Asia with a population of about 158.9 million (Bangladesh Bureau of Statistics, 2017). In Bangladesh the core of social and family life are determined by strong family ties and symbiotic relationship. By these values of family ties the distinctive roles of every individual are determined and assigned (Ball & Wahedi, (2010). In Bangladeshi culture the elders, especially males, are the head of the family and they take the decision of the family’s future. Children are given importance and they are adored by all the members and the guardians are concerned about their futures. Here generally women are not economically solvent and there are gaps between gender roles in social life. Women are not encourage to be active in public life. As the sons grow up the relationship thickens and the fathers become more involve with their sons. Sons may start helping their fathers at work and fathers may make good relationship with them by doing activities such as having a conversations, training them in work skills, shopping together or playing games together. Therefore we can say that as sons grow up their compatibility with their fathers increases when as sons help their fathers works.

A study on Perceptions and practices of fatherhood among urban fathers in Bangladesh indicated that 90% of urban father think and believe that the father and mother’s role are different in child rearing. It is described that mothers’ child caring role are feeding, bathing, nursing, cleaning, giving time and doing household chores. Fathers are incapable to do what the mothers does. In compare to mother roles, fathers involve playing a provider role; providing economic support; taking children to a park, zoo or other outdoor activities; making decisions about schools, teachers and doctors; disciplining their children; guiding and directing their spouse (Chakma, 2010).

Moreover, particularly in Bangladeshi cultural ideals differ from Western ideals regarding parenting. If our culture has to integrate such western views then we have to modify these ideals so that our cultural and religious laws can be in harmony with them or else there will be inefficiency in the model and there will be a high chance of it being made redundant. It is imperative that mothers are considerate the default caregiver owing to Bengali and Islam culture regarding gender roles (Ball & Wahedi, 2010).

However, Very few scientific study has been found which conducted in Bangladesh to explore the fatherhood. A study (Haider, 2003) evidenced that 44% of urban fathers are unaware of the need for mental care as measures for child development. Only 14% of the fathers knew how to provide interactive care to stimulate the child and only 18% identified playing or walking with the child as activities in which they could participate and contribute to the mental development of their child. That study also illustrated that in Bangladesh, fathers, on average, does not spend even an hour per day with their children and they believe that the influence of their role amounts to only 5% of all the effects that shape a child’s learning.

‘Daddy’ is a poem included in the book Ariel, written by Silvia Plath. The poem is framed within the so-called confessional stream, with an autobiographical character, a reflection of the chaos and suffering experienced by the author. ‘Daddy’ is a poem that reads like an exorcism. It can also be understood as an expression of the Father-Daughter relationship.

Plath in the poem reflects the hatred he feels toward the father figure, his desperate attempt to kill his father’s memory, the need to get rid of his past, the black shoe, represents that father figure. Pejorative adjectives are used by the writer, to describe ‘Daddy’ as “Marble-heavy”, “ghastly statue”, “devil”, etc.

Silvia Plath, in her poem, equates her father’s attitude with German supremacy, finding the German language as ‘obscene’ to represent herself, the writer, as a different person declares herself Jewish. If you go deeper into the poem, you will see that Plath, the writer, expresses, externalizes and dramatizes his anger and wildness for killing his father. Father who always made Silvia, the writer, feels inferior and weak.

‘Daddy’ illustrates a detailed description of the conflicts between the writer and her father. In each of the stanzas of the poem, Silvia Plath, gradually discover all her repressed feelings for years towards her arrogant and malefic father. The poem ‘Daddy’ does not reflect the details of how, when and why his feelings of contempt and animation towards his father arose.

Paradoxically, Plath reveals his feelings for the man she worships during her youth, despite his destructive influence after his death. ‘I used to pray to recover’ and ‘At twenty I tried to die and respond’ (line 14, 63-64). Father, statue, teacher, gestapo officer, husband and vampire, are the male characters in the poem, written by Silvia Plath, that illustrate and recreate negative characteristics, arrogant and evil spirits. When Plath is comparing him to a vampire, she remembers how he drank her blood for a year.

The father appears as a powerful, strong and restrictive figure, something like a god. On the other hand, the female character is limited and unable to lead a full life for the sexist society where she is. When Plath said that ‘every woman worships a fascist, the boot in the face, the brute, the gross heart of a brute like you’ is using irony by representing the stereotype of most women who are with abusive men, thus showing the inequality between men and women. This irony justified that violence was natural.

‘Daddy’, the poem by Silvia Plath, describes that the true power of men is to make women give in and bow to male hegemony. Turning this dominant behavior of man into a pattern of the natural order of the world. It is usually visible in sadomasochistic images that make women responsible for their own additional role.

Women are made for wise people to guide them (you stand on the board, dad). The poem ‘Daddy’ refers to women as emotional, tragic and prone to suicide when they feel lonely and depressed. On the other hand, he refers to men as rational. Once the differences between men and women have been described, unfair relationships between them are reflected. They also get the father figure to be seen as the devil (a cleft in the chin instead of his foot / But not least a demon for that).

The poem is full of the feeling of suffocation that the female character feels towards her father and husband. In the poem ‘Daddy’, Plath criticizes male aggression and declares men responsible for all social injustices. The narrator describes discrimination against women, but in the end she points out that women are free from these limitations.

The relationship with her father is complicated, confusing and ambiguous. Plath wants to be close to her father since he has some affection for him. However, the negative aspects of their relationship seem to almost consume how good it is. Plath calls his father ‘daddy’ instead of father, since this word gave a touch of affection and closeness to the relationship between both. The writer in her poem shows that she wants to connect with her father when she says she has a picture of him and then says: ‘At twenty I tried to die and come back, come back, come back to you’ (53-54) ‘By establishing a parallel between Hitler and the Jews and she and her father, she implies that her relationship with her father is oppressive and cruel.”

Introduction

The constatnt change of our society viwes it effects With the rise of the feminine movement it is becoming common for women wanting to continue twhat the common household roles are. From the very beginning women were known as the caretakers of the family and men as the breadwinners. With the rise of the feminine movement it is becoming common for women wanting to continue their education or staying in the workforce while having kid(s).This also shows to have an impact on male ideologies and their mindset regarding a men’s and women’s role in the relationship. There are still people who see it as unnatural for a father to take care of their children without their partner or as equal partners and even being stay at home fathers. Fatherhood has many assumptions made about it regarding a child’s upbringing and how they will grow up without and with a father figure. These changing views can make it harder for new fathers in discovering their place in an evolving society. The purpose of this paper is to understand fatherhood in the 21st century and how they contribute towards their children.

“In the 1980s, feminist thought began to influence the research field, and the assumptions about the father’s role expanded to include multiple aspects of parenting (Lamb, 2000)” feminism including the topic of father figures has made many realize what fatherhood is actually about. It has become a topic individuals deem easier to approach which expands the research and further understanding of the types of father involvement and the type of effects it has on children in every stage of their life- from milestones such as birthdays and graduations to low points in their life.

Contributing Factors

Views about what it entails to be a father and fatherhood roles are constructed over many years, starting in early childhood. Boys become fathers to boys who will become fathers in the future. There is very little knowledge of factors contributing to changes in the participation of a father in the lives of his child over time. Research suggests that the connections between fatherhood and childhood experiences are neither simple nor consistent across individuals. For example, fathers tend to parent more like their fathers than their mothers (Losh-Hesselbart, 1987), but few fathers—ironically, even those who tend to take less responsibility for their children—say they learned to parent from their own fathers (Hofferth, 1999).More than mothers, fathers have always been allowed discretion in determining their parental duties and responsibilities, and for this purpose it is especially important to understand that parental participation is rooted in their upbringing as children.

Without the presence of a father, kids grow up struggling through life. The role of a father is to provide support and positive interaction in their children’s lives, without these elements child loses the ability to fully experience life. Support in a child’s life is one of the key elements that shape the type of person that child will become in the culture.

Fathers Role

Fathering involves the repetition of nurturance, problem-solving, stress management, and displays of affection and aggression. Fathering is also embedded in work and community, Clearly, the meaning and practices of fatherhood are related to gender identity (Daly,Sarag and Allen Kerry, 1997) and to men’s experiences with their own fathers and other kin (Cowan & Cowan, 1987; Herzog, 1979). For example, men whose fathers were involved in raising them have been found to be more involved with their own children, to take more responsibility for them, to show more warmth, and to more closely monitor their behaviors and activities (Hofferth, 1999b). In addition, previous caretaking experience and non gender-stereotyped task assignments during childhood may increase the likelihood of father involvement during adulthood (Gerson, 1993; Pleck, 1997). Fathers with more identity equitable values seem to be more involved, responsible and warm and track the actions of their children more than do those with little gender-equitable values, although the effect of their participation would seem to rely on their child. Fathers play many roles inside the family and each of these positions is related to an action set of ideas.

In 1997, only about 11% of fathers in two-parent households had taken a formal parenting class although those who did tended to be more involved in their children’s developmental stages (Hofferth, 1999). Cultural and social changes have weakened the connection between masculinity and the expectation of responsible fatherhood (Marsiglio, 1998) another reason for fathers having a larger involvement in their children’s lives. These changing circumstances have led to a division of the adult male population into those who assume care of their children and those who do not. While some argue that fatherhood has ceased to be a normative expectation and has become a voluntary commitment, others argue that effective fatherhood is an essential quality of masculinity (Blankenhorn, 1995). Indeed, this debate will become more complex as development into the new century and continue to reshape the way men and women think and experience their procreative roles.

Child Development

Traditional and generative models of male parenting do not consider the role that the child’s developmental stage plays in the development of fatherhood. As the child grows and develops, displaying a new set of developmental assets, the father is also developing and changing. The timing of fatherhood often determines the paths that fathering takes, as well as the management of related developmental tasks. Dramatic changes in family life over the last half-century have diversified the life course options for men to the extent that there no longer exists a tight link between the timing of employment and the timing of parenting in men’s lives. Neither is it certain whether, or for how long, men will reside with their children. The timing of fatherhood sets men on different life course trajectories depending on their own developmental stage. When young men become fathers, it is often unintentional, whereas for older men, having a child is most often an intended event. Although we know little about the relationship between men’s intentions toward fertility and paternal involvement, the existing evidence suggests that a father’s positive parenting may be strongly associated with whether the pregnancy was intended (Brown & Eisenberg, 1995). Unwanted and mistimed childbearing in two-parent households has been found to exert long-term effects on children’s self-esteem, suggesting that parents may be less involved and supportive with children whose birth was unintended (Axinn, Barber, & Thornton, 1998). These findings, however, may vary as a function of psychological and economic resources, as well as social support. Certainly, adolescent parenting seems to be associated with higher risk for children, whereas older men seem to deal with parenthood better (Coley & Chase-Lansdale, 1998).

What the role entails

A father should have social, emotional, spiritual and mental balance of support because it is one of the key elements that set the foundation for development in a child. The best and simplest thing for the development of a child is the mere positive interaction from his/her father. There is a commonly used idiom that originated in Jamaica in the early 18th century “monkey see monkey do”. That is one of the main sources in which a child improves or disapproves his or her behaviour. If a child sees his father kissing his mother, which is a monkey seeThe child then by nature is going to miic that action, which is a monkey do.

The positive interaction of fathers set up children to “better school performance, less trouble with law, better jobs and careers, better relationships with others and higher self esteem(LeFebvre, 2007). It not only benefits the child, but it also benefits the father because it provides the father with opportunities to display affection and to nurture their child. Involved fathers are more likely to see their interactions with their children positively but become more attentive to the child’s development, better understanding, and more accepting of their child (Daly, Sarag and Allen Kerry, 1997). The one to one interaction between the child and father benefits them both into becoming healthier people.

Father involvement that dominated scholarship in the 1970s and 1980s has yielded to broader and more inclusive definitions (Lamb, 2000 Palkovitz, 1997). For example, Lamb, Pleck, Charnov, and Levine (1985, 1987) urged researchers to distinguish among accessibility, a father’s presence and availability to the child, regardless of the actual interactions between father and child; engagement, a father’s experience of direct contact, caregiving, and shared interactions with his child; and responsibility, a father’s participation in such tasks as selecting a pediatrician and making appointments, selecting child care settings or babysitters, arranging after school care and the care of sick children, talking with teachers, and monitoring children’s whereabouts and activities (Lamb, 2000).

Connection With The Child

The support of the father does not only shape the future of the child, but it also establishes an in depth connection between father and child. Without that connection a dad loses sight of what is occurring in his kid;s life. For example in Rhodes essay she mentions, “Dads are supposed to be there for the good times and in the bad (Rhodes, 2010). The lack of emotional support with a child leads to a father being oblivious to his child’s personality because he wasn’t there to see the emotions being let out during different situations. “Children living with another married mother are more likely to have interviewed for emotional problems”(Rhodes, 2010). That is a great reason why support on the father is needed, kids shouldn’t have to have emotional problems because it takes a toll on the way they behave in society. The emotional and social support of a father benefits the youth in a mass aspect. for example, “ father involvement is positively correlated with children Provo Social competence, social initiative, and capacity for relating with others(Daly,Sarag and Allen Kerry , 1997)

As we approach the end of the twentieth century, social changes are forcing adjustments in fathers, mothers, and families. We have seen an evolution of father ideals from the colonial father, to the distant breadwinner, to the modern involved dad, to the father as co parent (Pleck & Pleck, 1997).

Conclusion

Features and functions of family life are rapidly changing in the face of four prominent social trends: increased female employment, increased father absence, increased father involvement, and increased cultural diversity. These changes have led to different family structures as well as to different expectations and beliefs about the roles of fathers. Participation of women in the labor force will likely continue to rise during the next century. The extent of father involvement and responsibility in child care is also likely to increase. As men become integral to domestic and child rearing activities, they will be more responsible for the organization and planning of their children’s lives and the definition of what the title entails changes as well. The absence of fathers support and positive interaction damages the development of children. Without support children culvate emotional and social problems that lead to social incompetence and social immaturity, which takes a toll on them from a young age. Negative interactions cause them to make bad decisions that their fathers did as well. Men are becoming more involved in their children’s lives which has positive effects. The years go by and the role of a father is forever changing.

References

1. Bach, G. R. (1946). Father-fantasies and father-typing in father-separated children. Child Development, 17(1/2), 63-80. doi:10.2307/3181742
2. Lamb, M. E. (2000). The history of research on father involvement: An overview. Marriage and Family Review, 29(2/3), 23-42.
3. Hofferth, S. L. (1999). Child Care, Maternal Employment, and Public Policy. The ANNALS of the American Academy of Political and Social Science, 563(1), 20-38. doi:10.1177/000271629956300102
4. Dunham, S M., Dermer, S. B., & Carlson, J. (2011). Poisonous parenting: Toxic relationships between parents and their adult children.Routledge.
5. Vermillion, 1997 .Daly,Sarag and Allen Kerry. The Effects of Fatherhood involvement: An Updated Research summary of the Evidence.
6. Ontario: University of Guelph, 2007 . LeFebvre, Joan E. Why Fathers Are Important, 31 January 2012 http://www.babyzone.com/mom_dad/fatherhood/artile/fathers-are-important
7. Remez, L. “Children Who Don’t Live with Both Parents Face Behavioural Problems.” Family Planning Perspectives (1992).
8. Rhodes, Ashley. “Fatherhood is Essential.” Repetto, Jane E. Arron and Ellen Kuhl. The Compact Reset. Springfield: bedford/St. Martins, 2010. 259-21

After living for over twenty years now, I have realized that my father is a very significant figure in my life and that of our family. In a child’s existence, fathers are crucial. Along with mothers, they are one of the most influential figures in a child’s life. With their fathers, daughters feel safe, and sons imitate their father’s behavior. Fathers are a vital component of our support network. Together with our moms, they instill crucial values and skills in us. They have an impact on the relationships that children form as they grow up, and they contribute to our current state of being.

Mr. Helston, my father, is indeed a role model because he is the true definition of a good father and teaches me how important I should be to my husband when I get married. He also makes me believe that the bravest aren`t always the loudest and the quickest to act when dealing with family issues. Role models can be anyone in your life, but my dad will always be mine. Daughters feel safe and secure with their fathers, just like how my father makes me feel.

Through what I have witnessed with my own eyes in the last days of my life, I concur with the saying of most people that a man’s worth is only after death. When alive, no one gives a heck. I have seen him get mocked and disrespected by his own family, my mum being the cheerleader to belittle him. My own mother made me believe that he was a bad person who cared less about his family just because he had a second wife.

I have now confirmed that a woman can destroy a man’s reputation with his children and institute a very bad attitude in his children towards the father. All those years, I knew him to be the worst person I had ever come across. Things fell apart after their second wife left him, and he was all alone. For his sentiments, joys, and fears, he has been all alone in this world. I affirm his hero spirit and vow to be with him after getting stable in life. I have learned that he was merely a bill-payer, an ATM machine for her two cardholders, the wives. Being a long-distance truck driver, he was awake most of the time when the others snored in their beds. Even on the road, he was always thinking about school fees and bills. When the others gossiped about him, he was brooding about the future of his children. And what did he get in return? cold shoulders, stares, meals, and reception. My father, I owe you a great deal of respect.

My dad is an amazing man for his character and how he treats others, even those who do not value him. He is very protective of his family, loving, merciful, caring, and forgiving. He has been so protective of me and the rest of my family members in so many ways. He has always put our health as our number one priority by investing so much of his money in our health insurance coverage. Once any family member is sick, be it a serious or minor ailment, our family doctor is always there with a home ambulance to rush us to health facilities as soon as possible. In our home, there is a minor clinic where the doctor operates. The clinic is always stocked with medicines and medical equipment for our treatment purposes.

My father has always been gracious when we get into trouble. Fathers may appear tough, but they are also there for us when we need them. My father has always been a constant source of support and, at the same time, has enforced rules so that I have become more responsible. He has been merciful to us by not yelling, screaming, and breaking things because we messed up. Instead, he will calmly and nurturing tell us what we did wrong and how to fix it next time. Sons want to be like their fathers and try to behave just like them. Fathers influence who we make friends with and how we interact with people around us. My father has always taught me to be independent and brave.

Every father wants to see their children come out of life successfully. My father has always supported me in chasing after my dreams and pursuing what interests me. Since I attained school-going age, I have attended high-end schools. I joined an international school when I was very young and, having an industrious mentality, vowed to make my dad proud. I have been an academic giant since the baby class and now am on campus and still pressing on without backsliding. I always emerged at the top of my class, and my fellow students really had a hard task of beating my grades. All my teachers loved me for being a responsible, organized, hardworking, respectful, and cooperative young lady. This was all because of my dad, who has instilled good character in me through his advice and also his ways of life. I really salute him for that. Everywhere I go, people trust me so quickly for who I am. My father has taught me to be confident in who I am and to speak up for what I believe in. He has instilled in me the value of being genuine to myself.

When we talk about kindness, my father is always kind and has a humane heart. Besides having two families, my dad has always been kind to society. He spends most of his free time with his own children at home. About a decade ago, he opened up a children’s home to help the orphaned children living on the streets and those who have been abandoned by irresponsible parents. Since then, it has nurtured over a hundred children and made them valuable in society. Through partnerships with the government and non-governmental organizations, the father has been able to make the home for the children the best they could wish for. He has received so much recognition, even from abroad, for his sacrifices for the disadvantaged in society. My dad is always happy to help. He is a celebrity I adore so much. There’s no one like you, dad. You’re my true hero. May God be with all responsible fathers and bless them for their resilience in bringing up their families.

For the past decades, family dynamics have shifted from a single-income household, consisting of a breadwinning father and a caregiving mother. The trend has transitioned to a dual-income household, whereby income responsibilities rest in the hands of both parents. With that in mind, notably, mothers give birth nearly every day all around the world, yet, some fathers struggle to find time off-duty to lend them support. Many fathers struggle to find time to be there long enough for their newborns. At the same time, fathers find it hard to sacrifice their paychecks, which their families rely on.

Fundamentally, it is essential to note that most employers rarely pay paternity leaves for fathers to spend time with their spouses when they suffer a miscarriage, deliver a baby, or adopt a new child. Therefore, these developments for work and family arrangements call for long-overdue enhancements to work-family policies. Whereas mothers are subjected to extensive maternal paid parenting leaves, this essay examines the reasons why men should also be afforded an opportunity to have paid paternity leave the same as new mothers. A balanced paid parental leave policy would promote stronger and more constructive work-family relationships in society.

In response to growing concerns about reasons why men should have paid paternity leave, Zalis (2018) argues that in many instances, when a woman takes up maternity leave depending on the circumstance, her husband may want to be there to assist. It, therefore, means that on taking up paternity leave, the father could be present to lend support in one way or another. Fathers play essential roles in child-rearing. To give an illustration, for instance, a father who cares about his family would want to stay home for a few weeks to lend support and assist his spouse with duties like changing diapers, giving baths to the baby, cleaning the house, and making meals for both the spouse and the baby. This issue of unpaid paternity leave results in denying men an opportunity to help their spouses with home-made duties when their spouses deliver. Besides, some women do not have a natural delivery. They end up having cesarean, which is a significant critical surgery that mothers undergo while carrying their babies. This type of surgery is cost demanding and requires lengthy recovery time to ensure that women heal the wounds as they should. In such cases, men need to be paid paternity leave so that they can adequately cover the hospital bills and also have sufficient time to help their spouses recover safely.

Because of the psychological evidence, it is essential for both parents to spend time with their newborn children in the first few months to boost the bond. For that reason, Miller (2019) reviews that the lack of paternity leave for men suggests that they are denied an opportunity to bond with their children. In regard to that, it means that men lack a chance to bond with their children, contrary to mothers who are granted maternity leave under the law. Miller (2019) illustrates that this kind of practice is discriminatory, violating men’s rights to be treated equally to the female gender under the Equal Protection Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment of the U.S. Constitution. Besides, the act also discriminates against men against women by perpetuating the gender stereotype that women are the best fit for caregiving at home and not at workplaces. Such stereotypes could result in discrimination against women in the hiring procedures and promotion practices of employers. As a consequence, it could amount to a violation of the Fourteenth Amendment under Equal Protection rights (Miller, 2019).

Zalis (2018) claims that there are two significant challenges that women face; work-life balance and hiring bias. For instance, a hiring manager would prefer to hire a man rather than a woman of childbearing age. A child-bearing woman would be out for a few months for caregiving and might seem complicated for a hiring manager to seek a replacement. At the same time, child-bearing women do not work late hours as well as traveling much. To avoid wastage of time money and resources, it would be necessary for companies to appropriately create mandatory parental leave policies for both men and women. Creating mandatory paid paternity leaves would help in leveling up roles played by men and women both at home and at work. Most men hesitate to take paternity leaves for the fear of being penalized at work. Making paid paternity leaves mandatory would help in edging closer to equality.

A father needs to provide bonding, mainly during the infancy stage of the child. Petts, Knoester, and Li argue that the separation of a child from the father immediately after birth interrupts a fundamental relationship between the father and the child. The interruption significantly leads to high chances of the child lacking prosperity in real-life experiences. At the same time, the mothers are left with the burden of caregiving, which makes them feel uncomfortable in the absence of a fatherly figure for their babies. In that case, it means that paternity leave is impactful in the way men bond with their children at a tender age. Research conducted by Kotsadam and Finseraas (2018) illustrates those men who take at least three weeks or more of paternity leave are likely to have an impact on caregiving, such as feeding and diapering.

The importance of paid paternity leave is much more critical in both economic terms and family bonding. The consequences and benefits imposed on paid paternity leaves provide balanced financial stability for the family. If a father gets paid paternity leave, the family is more financially sound as compared to unpaid paternity leave. The family would be able to cover hospital bills and also be in a position to provide for family needs. Besides, paternity leave enables the father to bond with the child during infancy. Further studies in the literature also suggest that paternity leave allows men to assist their spouses in home duties such as changing diapers, bathing the baby, and preparing meals.

Work Cited

1. Kotsadam, Andreas, and Henning Finseraas. The State Intervenes in the Battle of the Sexes: Causal Effects of Paternity Leave.” Social Science Research, vol. 40, no. 6, Nov. 2011, pp. 1611–1622
2. Petts, Richard J., et al. Paid Paternity Leave-Taking in the United States Community, Work & Family, May 2018
3. Shalley Zalis (2018). Men Should Take Parental Leave – Here’s Why. ForbesWomen
4. Stephen Miller (2019). To Improve Gender Equality, Help Men Take Parental Leave; Employers should support both men’s and women’s family leaves. SHRM Online Better Workplaces Better Lives

Immigrants who are residing permanently in a country are less likely to be attached to their country of origin as they depend on their host country for the material and financial needs of every kind that they were unable to have in their home countries. While they face a lot of heterogeneous-level cultural differences while living in the United States of America as an immigrant, the statistics depict that a record 44.4 million people were living in the US in the year 2017, making up almost 13.6% of the total population (Kerwin & Warren, 2017). These are ground-breaking realities that will have drastic effects on the well-being of immigrants. This paper revolves around the life of an average first-generation immigrant and how the policies of host countries affect their lifestyle and will provide insight into the life of the immigrant both before and after migration, and the changes they have been a witness to.

Eduardo Magana is a first-generation immigrant who has been living in America for more than 20 years. Without paying heed to what subsequent generations think about this particular country, he definitely holds optimism and pure belief about the policies and protection of ethnic groups in the US. However, the question arises as to what life was like while he was a new immigrant starting a new life in the US. Was it easy, or did he need to compensate for his mental and physical well-being to adjust to such a diversified cultural arena? The paper is about the first-hand experience of my dad after he moved to the USA.

The very first question that came into my mind as an interviewer was why he thought of moving to the United States while his parents and other family members were residing in El Salvador, to which my dad replied, that he had always fanaticized the American lifestyle as a young boy. His basic ideology was that Americans are so well-mannered and idealized generation that can surpass in every walk of life. He considered it to be an ideal place to live and to earn a livelihood, and so chose America to spend his life.

The next question was based on how old he was when he moved to America, to which she replied that he was 16 years old, a young man who only had a fifth-grade education and was entering a life where all he saw were dreams and beliefs and an ideal world that he could thrive in. It was obviously not an easy decision and journey whatsoever. My dad came, led by a coyote who is a leader of a group of immigrants helping them cross the border, for a great amount of money of course. My dad was caught by immigration but was able to hide his Salvadorian accent and said that he was Mexican so that they would not send him back to El Salvador but rather to Mexico.

I asked my dad if he spoke fluent English when he arrived in America. He replied that in El Salvador it is not a compulsion to learn English as a basic language skill. He definitely had to face lots of difficulties while adjusting to a new environment as he lagged behind in basic language skills. He had to learn English by going to an adult school called Rancho Santiago College in Santa Ana. School was a great help, but another big way in which my dad learned how to speak English was in the streets. Moreover, apart from language, he also learned the narratives and thinking patterns of common Americans.

I asked my dad if his culture was similar to the US or not. He explained that cultural differences do exist in every society which definitely affects you when you have decided to live from a country like El Salvador to live in an American state. People tend to hold certain negative beliefs about the immigrant already, but it is completely dependent on the immigrant as to how he or she is going to deal with it, as cultural differences are also affecting the norms of any country. What suits and is considered normal in your state might be awkward and strange in the host country. For example, the way you speak, the way you dress, etc. So, you should be fully equipped with the cultural ties and differences of both host and origin countries. He explained that as an adult, he was fully aware of the narrative opportunities that have become part and parcel of immigrant lifestyles, and this was the biggest gift that he was provided as an immigrant to the United States of America.

I asked my dad how these similarities and differences have affected his experience. He replied that this country is regarded as a ‘land of opportunities’, which means that it holds pivotal importance; you are fully aware of your motives and your skills, as early-generation Americans. Otherwise, the fear of isolation and hostility will bring frustration and aggression. He learned it the hard way as a first-generation American, but once it was clear, his cultural differences with Americans did not affect him anymore. Negativity and assumptions do separate people, especially in this country, but understanding is the key; once you are well-versed in it, things become easier and digestible. You have to be able to understand why people think a certain way, even if it is not a way you agree with.

He was also asked to describe the prejudice and discrimination from members of dominant cultures, to which he replied that sometimes it feels like we are so blessed to be an immigrant in the host country called America. My dad later on in life got a job at the University of Irvine and worked his way up to become a supervisor for the dorms. He works in an office with a lot of white people mostly. There was a particular coworker who did not believe that he could do the job he was promoted to. She would give my dad task after task, but my dad would say: “With no problem, I will have all of these tasks done for you, not tomorrow, but they will be done”. He proved he could do the job just as well as anyone else would be able to. Although there is a sense of security without any prejudice in some ways, you are free from surveillance, you can exercise your right to vote, and you have all the freedom to movement and expression, but you do require vigilance. My dad became a citizen in 2005, at the age of 34.

My dad was asked the question of if he feels prejudice towards an ethnic group. He does not think he feels prejudice, even though he had to experience his fair share of prejudice and racism from many white people. Minorities, on the other hand, were quite welcoming and never seemed to treat him differently, which led him to develop a greater bond with them over white people. But he would not go to the extent of saying that he hates white people. He understood that everyone had their own personal agendas and that not everyone should be labeled as discrimination.

I asked how the prejudice and racial threats affected him. My dad said that, as a first-generation immigrant, the idea of being harassed and being a victim of violence worried him. But once he started to feel secure and familiar with the ways of the American people, it no longer was a concern. He also credits America for making him a stronger man. With that fear in mind, he set out to be brave and did not want mere thoughts of the potential of being harassed to hinder his progress.

I also asked him about raising his children and how they have become familiar with their original culture. My dad has been married for 24 years and has three children, aged 13, 20 (that’s me), and 23. My dad says that he does not want to forget his native culture, which is why he keeps on visiting El Salvador and brings the whole family along to familiarize us, kids, with his roots. Growing up, Spanish was spoken in the household. My dad explained that he did not want to focus on teaching us English language skills because this is something that we will be ultimately learning through school, but our native language will always be an important part of us. At home, we are encouraged to speak Spanish so that our key identity might not only remain as English-speaking people but they should be recognized as bilingual.

Life in America has been idealized by people all over the world. They always look at the pros and cons of both. Foreign-born people who are residing in America have crossed record statistics, and this amount has quadrupled since 1960 after immigration and naturalization were promoted (Kerwin & Warren, 2017). Growth is not increasing at an expected rate, but the number of immigrants is expected to double in the next few years, even though current policies are working to deport immigrants.

The assimilation of immigrants does affect the daily life of an average resident. Research has also been conducted to study expectations and how they vary according to different cultures. Most of the time, people are motivated to be accepted as a part of society, which is proportional to how they are ultimately going to behave in consumer culture. Motivation is compulsory for those who regard their host country as their permanent residence. Some of the time, your origin country fails to provide you with the desired lifestyle and opportunities that the host country is offering you, and hence you start to idealize and admire the lifestyle of your host country. This points to whether families are forced to migrate as refugees or leave their home country of their free will. The stories of immigrants are similar regardless of the country from where they are migrating, and most of the time the reasons for the migration are quite similar as well.

Some prominent factors during the whole interview were cultural assimilation, attitudes, and behavior toward Americans, along with the melting plot theory. According to Socratic.org, “The melting plot theory is the idea that different cultures and ideas will blend together”. The point that my dad was trying to explain was that an immigrant should be aware and proud of their identity; they should not try to intermingle both cultures, otherwise they will never be able to spend a successful life in the host country. The identity of the person defines who a person really is, one should always accept new cultures and learn from them, but at the same time, one should never forget the original identity of a person even after migration.

It is important to note that thinking of adopting certain aspects of American culture is a survival tactic, formulated by first-generation immigrants such as my dad. This was one of the interesting ways to cope with challenges as a new citizen or resident. The phenomenon of globalization mostly goes hand in hand with the elimination of traditions.

It will be interesting to see how, in the coming times, globalization is going to affect different communities and traditional people in terms of their beliefs. The interview was very interesting since it gave insight into the first-hand experience of an immigrant who experienced a hardship most of us have not experienced because of the fact that it was our parents who took the risk to have a better life for themselves as well as for us.