Category: Family

What is love? It seems to be as baffling as the question What is the meaning of life? Liking and attraction seem to be of lesser degree when compared to love yet attraction is also closely associated with friendship. These are three concepts that mean lot of things to different people.

When it comes to love, one will encounter countless lines that attempt to define it. We all have heard that love is blind. Love is what makes the world go round. Love is all there is. Novels, poems, short stories and songs, all kinds of literature have immortalized love. Why? Plato said it right: At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet. Since the beginning of time, love has been there to propel people who fall in it to do crazy  or at least extraordinary things. Those who stumble into it go into a trance, seeing everything or everyone who stands against it as a threat to their happiness.

The dictionary says that love is the passionate devotion to another being but its essence must not be entirely confined to its lexical meaning. The New Testament alone exemplifies three types of love. The romantic, sexual love or eros, the love of friendship or phileo, and the unconditional love of the Divine or agape. While the first two may come easily for most people, agape does not because it is the unconditional love that is usually ascribed to the Divine. (Boyer, 1999).

Some hold that love is nothing but a physical response to another whom the agent feels physically attracted to. Physical determinists for example, consider love to be an extension of the chemical-biological constituents of the human creature and is explicable according to such processes. Others who consider love to be an aesthetic response hold that love is knowable through the emotional and conscious feeling that it provokes and it cannot be captured in rational or descriptive language but by metaphor or by music. The spiritualist vision of love incorporates mystical as well as traditional romantic notions of love, but rejects the behaviorist or physical determinists explanations. (Moseley, 2001).

Love may be defined in any way imaginable to man and may differ from one person to another. Hence, although each of us has his own way of looking at love, it cant nevertheless be denied that love is universal and everyone, anywhere can feel it.

Levels of physical attractiveness can influence people in so many powerful ways. A persons characteristics based on an individuals perception of physical attractiveness can either add to ones status or stigmatize them. Males and females have different cognitive schemas about the attractiveness of the opposite sex. This is because ones gender determines the how the person will view their own attractiveness and how that person will view another ones physical attractiveness. There are several theories that apply to physical attraction and one of this is the reinforcement theory. This means that when a person is paired with a stimulus that elicits a positive effect or reward, the result is increased liking of that person. One can begin to like a physically attractive person because he is pleasing to look at which is your own personal reward. Meanwhile, the attractive person also gets the benefits of being attractive because once a positive reward is associated with an individual; your liking of them will increase.

There are actually three factors that influence attraction. One of this is proximity. It seems that people tend to like those that are closer to them By this we mean, of greater proximity rather than those far from them. This is because if people are close to each other, they often see each other. Perhaps because they are able to nurture relationships with each other. It is difficult for people to cultivate relationships when they are far apart. (Social Psychology, Interpersonal Relations).

One other factor is physical attractiveness. According to Robert B Cialdini, an influential psychologist, physical attractiveness is an important component in degree of influence. He stipulates that physically attractive people have a huge social advantage in our culture. They are better liked, more persuasive, more frequently helped, and seen as possessing better personality traits and intellectual capabilities (Cialdini 1984). This is what some experts call the halo effect. This happens when positive characteristics of a person, spell the way a person is viewed by others (Henricks, Chris, et. al, 1998). There is the notion that people who are above average in physical attractiveness is also above average in other aspects as well.

Sometimes this can be a disadvantage too. The physically attractive people may think that things are being done for them just because they look good rather than their innate attributes. (Social Psychology, Interpersonal Relations).The third factor in attraction is similarity. People who are similar in tastes and likes tend to attract each other. When they find that they have a lot of commonalities, they tend to go together. It is like the saying that says, birds of the same feather, flock together. People are interested in establishing relationships with others who are similar to themselves. In this connection, if the goal of attraction is partnership, and apart of this partnership is sharing life with someone else, then it is wise to choose a partner with similar background and interests. The person who is similar with another one in terms of interests, then, there would be less problems since there is a meeting of minds. They will want to do the same activities and share the same hobbies as you do. (Social Psychology, Interpersonal Relations).

One way to get someone to like you is to like them. This action is called a reciprocity norm. This means that whatever is done to you should be done in return. The value of indebtedness comes into play here. When someone does something for us, often we feel indebted to that person, so the action is often reciprocated. Many great thinkers today find that whatever good feelings you give to others will return back to you. In the context of the reciprocity norm, it means that the way to get someone to like us is to like them first. What you give will come back to you a hundredfold.

Sternberg has a theory of love, which involves 3 dimensions: passion, intimacy, and commitment. He suggests that the combination of these dimensions can be used to classify different types of love or mutually good feelings. So, Sternberg is suggesting that not all loving relationships are created equal. I might suggest that true love  the love that creates a special and precious relationship between two people  is one that would have all 3 of Sternbergs dimensions (Social Psychology, Interpersonal Relations).

Love in its many forms is a way of bringing joy into our lives, and we all treasure the moments of love that we know and have known. Loving is a way of giving, both to the person receiving and the one giving. Through loving, a person becomes closer to himself as he shares himself to another one and opens the way for sharing. The meaning of love is limitless because love is relative from person to person. How one would see it would be different from how another would. Love teaches us in different ways. It remains a mystery, a puzzle that must be left to work out on its own  or better yet, just left to retain its mystique.

Works-Cited List

Boyer, Janet. What Is Love? 1999. Web.

Moseley, Alex. Philosophy of Love. From The Internet Encyclopedia of Philosophy. 2001. Web.

Social Psychology, Interpersonal Relations, 2008. Web.

I had always dreamed of seeing Madison Square Gardens in all its splendor. Something about its historical past and old Hollywood style fascinated me to no end.

As I entered 33^rd street the breathtaking view of the Garden started becoming clearer. Right from the eastern end of the arena, the coolness being generated through the gentle blush of tall vegetation surrounding the structure presented the warmth with a pinch of enchanting aroma at the entry. As I got closer, the fully luminescent architectural monument was already overflowing with variety of population. People from all walks of life were just as excited as I was to get inside. Even a very slight glimpse could give you the feel about its ability to accommodate variety of performances to any scale be it sports, music or any other form of entertainment.

In addition to the warmth, the feeling of safety too gets generated in the minds of all ticket holders. The security checks were stringent. New Yorks finest security personnel probe you all over to ensure the safety of the endless crowd. As soon as I step over the barrier I realize that no picture has ever done this place justice. The ceilings are high and arched, like a passage way to heaven. Everywhere I turn it seemed the history of the Garden is throwing itself at me. The giant gold plated frames of celebrities cover every inch of the gigantic navy walls.

As I moved along the very wide aisles, a big gathering of a birthday party was about to begin in the box office lobby. An ideal setting for personal get-together  through well orchestrated arrangements for expressing our feelings is absolutely an amazing experience. And towards the left of this location opens to a big entrance which symbolized Moorish architectural elegance. It is the Wu Mu Theater which holds a variety of entertainment shows.

On this evening, I was fortunate to enjoy the leading Brazilian pop singer Roberto Carlos with the famous album Exitos. In spite of the announcement that the tickets for the show have already been pre-booked, the tour store support staff were exceedingly helpful in getting me one in the premiere group. Also, throughout the concourses the merchandise stands are positioned where one can go for a shopping spree if holding a valid credit card. Also the taste of finest chilled Scottish beer and best of the Brazilian coffee are made available all through the garden.

The arrangements at the sporting centre is an another spectacular design  the basket ball courts could soon turn into ice hockey fields within a space of two hours. The ice hockey field could drop the temperature in the arena near to 65 degrees and calls for better clothing to insulate you from the coolness. Also, if seated at far back from the ice field, elegant pieces of binoculars can be borrowed at a nominal cost.

Finally, I get to the dining area, which can be easily accessed through either sides of centre mall area. My imaginations of fine dining with celebrities can be materialized at this club terrace. Thus exploring through the worlds best arena on any evening at MSG gives rich glimpses of engineering or architectural flamboyance but what certainly lasts longer is the moments of joy from uniqueness in the delivery of hospitality and responsibility.

Before the age of the Industrial Revolution, leisure took the form of education and introspection as it had developed within Greeces male elite. According to this view of leisure, any time not occupied directly with industry and production should be occupied with intellectual thought and consideration. Leisure was valued as those moments of life in which one contemplated the eternal truths and participated in music and drama (Torkildsen, 2005: 13). Because of a close connection established between the pursuits of leisure and the functions of the state, common working men, slaves, children, and women, all of whom were considered to have other, more mundane duties to attend to, were excluded from participation in leisure. What distinguishes the leisure of Ancient Greece from that found anywhere in the history of leisure is the strong connection between leisure and state government (Torkildsen, 2005: 13). However, with the growth of mechanized industry, a change took place where work time was defined according to a clock, redefining non-work time as leisure. While this worked for a while, women, because they were usually occupied within the home, still had no defined period for leisure. It was only with the Civil Rights movement of the 1960s and the subsequent advances in society that have brought women to a more equal footing with men and all people upon a more equal footing in terms of recreational and leisurely opportunity.

According to McLean (2008), recreation and leisure provide important benefits to the welfare not only of the individual but also of society as a whole. This was recognized even in Ancient Greek society as those individuals engaging in leisure were working out some of the more intellectual and philosophical problems of their world. Beyond its value as a form of sociability, recreation also provides major personal benefits in terms of meeting physical, emotional, philosophical and other important health-related needs of participants & The very games and sports, entertainment media, and group affiliations that people enjoy in their leisure help to shape the character and well-being of families, communities and society at large (Kraus, 2008: 1).

As we struggle to define ourselves, in terms of the I, which is the way we think about ourselves, and theme, which is the way we feel others think about us, we develop a sense of self-esteem, how we feel about who we are (Bolender, 2005). This concept of ourselves is balanced by our realistic idea of ourselves, our ideal interpretation of ourselves, our idea of what we ought to be, and our idea of what we dont want to be. These concepts are all necessarily formed as we interact with others within a free environment in which we can be just who we are rather than attempting to fill some concept of what we should be as in the workplace or other environment. At the same time, how we feel about ourselves, our self-esteem is formed as leisure provides us with the opportunity to be in control of our actions, to accomplish something, and to interact with others. All of this, in turn, helps us cope with the depression, anxiety, and exhaustion that stress introduces into our lives through our work and daily maintenance. Finally, leisure helps to divert our attention away from the causes of our stress, giving us a chance to recharge and reapply when were ready.

Unfortunately, as people, men, and women, developed their ideas of leisure activities, the cost of leisure began to rise due to the scientific and technological equipment that is necessary to participate in a given activity. In the field of golf, for example, while the game hasnt changed significantly, the technology in the production of clubs, balls, and golf club membership for the more challenging courses has continued to rise, limiting the activity somewhat by the level the individual can afford to pay for the privilege of participation. The types of activities that are now considered to be recreation or leisure activities can include a wide array of things such as golf, tennis, baseball, or other outdoor sport; surfing the internet, online games, video games, watching television, or other media-related activities; sewing, painting, crafting or other productive activity; reading, researching, philosophizing or other forms of mental effort.

The benefits that can be gained from such widespread activities, which can run the gamut between active and passive, social and solitary, are too numerous to include within a small treatise, but it should be evident that they are immense. However, our concepts of leisure have also come to involve a great deal of expense, forcing us to continue to work extra hard during our off hours as a means of earning the additional funds necessary just to keep up with the pace of technology. As a result, leisure is again becoming a missing element of society, not necessarily because of the loss of available time in which to participate, but because of an overall commodification of leisure activities that necessarily exclude the participation of the increasing numbers of poor. While our available time for leisure activities continues to decrease with the increase in the cost of our toys and the decrease in our wages as compared to our living expenses, there remains a significant cause for the preservation of leisure time on a variety of levels. This is being increasingly recognized by government services and agencies struggling to encourage and provide programs for the advancement of these types of activities for the benefit of the individual citizens as well as the country as a whole.

One form of recreation that has been popular for more than 100 years is the sport of golf. On the golf course, individuals are allowed to take a stroll around carefully manicured lawns while still having a purposeful objective in mind. Originally considered a sport for gentlemen only, this definition has changed much as the definition of leisure has changed over the years and the sport is now open to individuals of all races, genders, and ages. It provides the health of an outdoor activity combined with the flexibility required for the young and the elderly, making it available as a family activity as well as a solitary activity. While the sport can become quite expensive if one chooses to purchase the best in clubs and other equipment and elects to participate in membership golf resorts, this is not necessary for the enjoyment of the sport. More and more cities now offer public golf courses on which anyone can play a round of 18 holes at an affordable price. In addition, driving ranges are often available for public use at even lower rates. Although golf can be a solitary sport, it also has a high social contingent as players pair up or gathers together at the club after play. Golf clubs often offer a variety of other services as well, including restaurants for dining, spa treatments, and pro shops in which the latest equipment might be purchased.

Leisure is undoubtedly an important element in living a healthy and happy lifestyle. This is true because it allows us to relax from the daily stresses of our working lives and provides us with the quiet time necessary to consider where weve been and what we want to do next. We are provided with a chance to achieve something strictly for our enjoyment and to place our measuring stick upon the achievement  are we playing for proficiency, improvement, or just to spend the morning hours doing something meaningless and yet still engaging. A society capable of relaxing away from the stresses of maintaining a hectic production schedule while also being able to socialize with others and conceive of dreams and goals for future life is a healthy society. Without leisure time, this would not be the case.

References

Bolender, Ron. George Herbert Mead. (2005). Web.

McLean, Daniel D.; Amy R. Hurd & Nancy Rogers. Kraus Recreation and Leisure in Modern Society. Sudbury, MA: Jones and Bartlett Publishers, 2008.

Torkildsen, George. Leisure and Recreation Management. New York: Routledge, 2005.

Discussion

At first glance, it may seem next to impossible for a person to make the right choice if we are speaking about dogs especially, various breeds, because there is such a vast variety of them, however it is quite possible to say that in the majority of cases, a pug is a safe pick. Perhaps, it would be prudent to illustrate this statement by some examples.

As far as I am concerned, should say that I do not have a dog, to be frank enough. I can only base my judgment upon my aunts experience, who has a pug. It seems to me that he is the most playful creature in the world and always full of surprises. As my aunt says that her dog is always able to cheer her up when she feels a bit downhearted. She describes her dog in the following way one ball of healing light.

First, it is worth mentioning that pugs as a breed are very sociable dogs and it is easy for a person to find an approach to them. Nevertheless, it should be taken into account that sometimes that can very obstinate, but with time passing this obstacle can be easily surmounted.

Moreover, pugs have always been renowned for their high dog obedience skills; this means that these dogs can be easily trained. This factor can be of the crucial importance for the future owner. For example, pugs are well known as skillful messengers. It is widely known that Napoleon and Josephine used a pug as a means of communication, when Josephine was imprisoned (Johnson, 33).

However, some dog experts believe that pugs can be very troublesome to their owner; the major reason is that these dogs may have many health problems.

First, pug have protuberant eye ridges and they have short snout therefore they are very likely to have eye injuries. It is quite possible to advance a counter-argument: all it takes is the sense of responsibility from the owner.

Our opponent can also mention that pugs are often prone to problems connected with their physiology. First, they are not always able to regulate their breathing, especially if the temperature is very high. Moreover, it should be taken into account that pugs are inclined to obesity (Johnson, 25), but we can easily make an objection to this statement, first, if the owner is knowledgeable in this sphere none of the above mentioned would never occur. Overall, it should be taken into account that an ignorant person should never start keeping a dog, because ignorance is also some form of cruelty. It stands to reason, that such person will never succeed in keeping a dog, regardless of its breed.

According to Stephen Kean, a member of the American Kennel Club, any dog can either a blessing or a curse; it all depends upon its owner. As regards pugs, the expert mentions that under the condition of appropriate training and treatment, these dogs will become very useful helpers and maybe true friends.

Conclusion

Thus, having weighed up all the arguments, it is quite possible for us t arrive at the conclusion that pugs can really be the most optimal choice for a would-be owner, under the indispensable condition of good training and treatment, which is probably the most important factor, because cruelty and ignorance can spoil every creature, not only a dog.

Bibliography

Andrea A. Lunsford, John J. Ruszkiewicz. Everythings an Argument. Bedford/St. Martins, 2006.

John T. Gage, Carolyn Bergquist. The Shape of Reason: Argumentative Writing in College. Longman Publishing Group, 2000.

Johnson Dan. Pug as a Bread. Chicago University Press, 1999.

Stephen Edelston Toulmin. The Uses of Argument. Cambridge University Press, 2003.

Since ancient times, people have been interested in such psychological phenomena as dreams, their causes, and their meaning (Nicoll, 1979). A substantial number of studies have explored the concomitance of cognitive quality and quantity of recall on awakening and psychological states (Pick and Roper 2004). In sleep, one is oblivious to most stimuli; in drowsiness, he is oblivious to many (Nicoll, 1979). In sleep, reactions will be few, most stimuli of ordinary intensities being rendered ineffective by the marked condition of dissociation (Nicoll, 1979). As in other cases of human conduct, such responses may be symbolic, autonomic, or postural (Nicoll, 1979). If symbolic, they take the form of ideas, thoughts, pictures, verbal reports, intellectual interpretation of the meanings of the cues prompting them (Nicoll, 1979). The cues themselves are usually overlooked, as is the usual case even in waking perception, or hastily passed over, for the sake of the consequences to which they lead (Nicoll, 1979).

Dreams are defined as: sequence of images and sounds occurred during the sleeping process (Pace-Schott 2003, p. 4). The first attempts to define dreams were made by Aristotle (Pick and Roper, 2004). His concept extended temporally from the fragments of the earliest writings of the Egyptians and Sumerians; through the literature exemplified by Homer, the Old Testament, the Grecian plays, and the histories of Herodotus; into the collection of this extended literature by Artemedorus in the later Roman period of the second century A.D. (Pick and Roper 2004). As can be seen from these sources, with minor variations geographically, there was a common theme throughout the known world (Nicoll, 1979). While giving prototypical indexings of particular dreams and their meaning, Artemedorus emphasized the individual dreamer and the context of the time of the dream (Pick and Roper, 2004). These volumes were republished in 1518 under the title Oneicritica and published in English translation in 1606 (Pick and Roper, 2004). The continued popularity of this approach to dreams is attested to by a volume by Thomas Hall imprinted in London in 1576 (Pick and Roper, 2004). Another important contribution was made by Cicero (Pick and Roper 2004). Cicero considered dreams in his treatise, De Senectute, De Amicitia, De Divinatione (Pick and Roper 2004). Cicero included two kinds of divination: artificial, which depends partly on conjecture and partly on long-continued observation, e.g., astrology, augury, portents; and natural, which were dreams and prophecies (Pick and Roper, 2004). Cicero gives three arguments: (1) the human soul is an emanation of the Divine Soul and hence they are in contact; (2) the contact is enhanced when the soul is unencumbered by the senses and flesh; (3) fate is an orderly succession of causes and thus is predictable (Pick and Roper, 2004).

The next important stage in the development of the theory of dreams was made by Fraud (Pick and Roper, 2004). The basic elements of the fresh hypotheses are well known (Nagera et al 2003). Briefly: (1) The meaning of the manifest content (the dream itself) was comprehended in terms of the latent content; (2) the latent content was expressing unresolved wish fulfillment; (3) these utilized the day residues and, to a lesser degree, sensory stimuli for expression; (4) dream work comprised of symbolism, condensation, and displacement, and loosened association occurred to make the impulses expressed acceptably; and (5) dreams must (and do) use concrete imagery for expression (Nagera et al 2003). So just as Sigmund Freud saw the dream as the royal road to the unconscious, so did Gestalt psychologists view perception (as well as other psychological processes, such as memory and thinking) as a window on the brain (Nagera et al 2003). That is the position of many contemporary psychologists regardless of their orientation (Nagera et al 2003). Webb and Cartwright (1978) describe and summarize three essential experimental approaches to the dream: their relations to trait-like characteristics (e.g., differences between sexes, cultures, and psychopathological conditions); their relations to specific states (e.g., presleep films, the laboratory surround, and signals presented during sleep); and dreams as an independent variable (i.e., the effect of dreaming on waking behavior) (McNamara, 2004). They summarize the evidence supporting the conclusion that dreams reflect waking emotional concerns and styles and that the relationship between the target (a specific state stimulus) and the dream is ephemeral (McNamara 2004). The approach to the latter area (dream function) has been primarily through the experimental suppression with an inferred excision of the dream (McNamara, 2004).

The main types of dreams are ordinary dreams, lucid dreams, telepathic dreams, premonitory and nightmares (McNamara, 2004). Ordinary dreams are explained as the subconscious activity of the mind and reflection on daily events (McNamara, 2004). In contrast to ordinary dreams, lucid dreams can be controlled by a dreamer (McNamara, 2004). Telepathic dreams are characterized by real life events or communication between two people at a distance (McNamara, 2004). Premonitory dreams reveal future events (McNamara 2004). In contrast to these dreams, nightmares reflect the fears and anxieties of a person (McNamara, 2004). This classification reminds us that dreams differ from other forms of visual imagery in many important respects, and it suggests that some of the striking differences between dreaming and waking cognition might be explained by the lack of any substantial contribution to dreaming by the dorsolateral prefrontal convexity (McNamara 2004). More than any other region, the prefrontal convexity provides thinking with its characteristic propositional structure, logical coherence, and volitional purpose (McNamara, 2004). This applies especially to the left prefrontal convexity, which imbues thinking with the predictive and abstract properties of language (Nicoll, 1979).

When the responses take the autonomic or affective form, the dream is an emotional statea fear, and anxiety, and elation (Nicoll, 1979). There is usually along with responses on this level, also a set of cognitive or symbolic responses, giving an intellectual meaning to the situation (Nicoll, 1979). In its extreme form, the autonomic dream constitutes what is commonly called a nightmare (Nicoll, 1979). When the drowsiness responses take a postural form, some overt act is carried out (Nicoll, 1979). Thus sleep-walking, or other somnambulic behavior, would represent a drowsiness reaction carried out on the postural level (Nicoll, 1979). Such responses may or may not be attended by responses on the other levels as well (Nicoll, 1979). Probably in the usual cases, responses on all three levels are in process (Nicoll, 1979). In a sense, the behavior of the classical picture of psychoneurosis may be said to be a dream experience, since the essential feature is the execution of a response evoked by potent cues, while the system is relatively oblivious to other cues which the actual situation might afford (Nicoll, 1979). It is probable that studies of drowsiness and its dream responses may throw considerable light on the behavior of the more technically neurotic subject (Nicoll, 1979). Even the conditions to which drowsiness is usually ascribedfatigue, ennui, exhaustion, or hypnotic drugs, suggest an intellectual weakness, which may be in various ways related to the chronic condition of the officially neurotic person (Hobson, 1999). Hence, reactions, however appropriate to past contexts, maybe bizarre and inadequate so far as present circumstances are concerned (Hobson, 1999). In the waking state, such bizarre reactions are held in check, or corrected by the synergy of other cues from the present situation (Hobson, 1999). These responses, overdetermined as they are by particular cues, constitute dreams (Hobson, 1999). In this context, sleep is likely to be viewed as a biological system such as digestion or the circulation of the blooda homeostatic system with limited responsibility to learning, reinforcement, or motivation (Hobson, 1999). Those interested in the sensory or information input side of psychology see their interests disappear with the onset of sleep (Nicoll, 1979). In short, sleep can be viewed as a variable that fits neither our theoretical conceptions nor our methods of study (Hobson, 1999).

As one awakes from the dreams, the intrusion of more cues, and the synergy of the effects of diverse past contexts, is therapeutic (Hobson, 1999). The dreamer corrects his hallucinations, resists suggestion, dismisses his fixed ideas, logically evaluates his trains of thought, voluntarily controls his somnambulisms, recovers from his temporary amnesia and anesthesias, and continues to exhibit only those neurotic tendencies which he displays by virtue of his waking degree of sagacity (Hobson, 1999). The typical neurotic, as we have seen, never recover, or recovers with great difficulty, from a certain circumscribed drowsiness (Hobson, 1999). The conventional hypnotic phenomena are usually demonstrated with the aid of such persons as subjects, when they do not utilize, after the methods of the fakir, more highly specialized anesthesias, catalepsies and trance symptoms, which occur in the recognizable psychoses, such as dementia praecox, or the services of trained subjects (Hobson, 1999).

Dreams have meaning but their meaning is influenced by the personal experiences of a dreamer and his psychological type (Freeman et al 2001). This is why the careful study of such dream behavior may be made to reveal the dominating interests and preoccupation of the individual, and the outstanding concerns and interests in his past (Nicoll, 1979). As one awakes from the dream, the intrusion of more cues, and the synergy of the effects of diverse past contexts, is therapeutic (Freeman et al 2001). The dreamer corrects his hallucinations, resists suggestion, dismisses his fixed ideas, logically evaluates his trains of thought, voluntarily controls his somnambulisms, recovers from his temporary amnesia and anesthesias, and continues to exhibit only those neurotic tendencies which he displays by virtue of his waking degree of sagacity (Freeman et al 2001). People do not remember dreams because of different phases of sleep and memory functions (Freeman et al 2001).

Nightmares are defined as strong unpleasant feelings and emotions experienced by a person during sleep (Pace-Schott 2003, p. 8). In most cases nightmares are caused by seizure disorder, but in some cases, the latter diagnosis is uncertain (Freeman et al 2001). In the uncertain cases, the syndrome is less well defined and it overlaps with the syndrome of dream-reality confusion (Freeman et al 2001). It could be said that the syndromes of recurring nightmares and of dream-reality confusion represent two extremes on a nosological continuum; the boundary between them is blurred, but as the dreams become more repetitive in content and more unpleasant in emotional tone, so the likelihood of an underlying seizure disorder increases (Freeman et al 2001). The link between these two syndromes is probably attributable to the low seizure threshold and dense interdigitation of limbic tissues (Pick and Roper, 2004). These remarks confirm our qualified support for Whitty and Lewins (1957 cited Freeman et al 2001) hypothesis to the effect that the syndrome of dream-reality confusion is sometimes caused by discharging lesions in the temporal lobe (Freeman et al 2001). Researchers may speculate that seizure activity anywhere in the limbic system is apt to generalize within that system and overwhelm the frontal-limbic mechanisms that inhibit dreams and dreamlike thinking (Freeman et al 2001). Recurring nightmares had the least robust localizing significance among the four major disorders of dreaming that were identified in the present study (Freeman et al 2001). The radiological evidence suggested that recurring nightmares were commonly, but by no means always, associated with structural lesions of the limbic system (in either hemisphere) (Freeman et al 2001). The physiological and clinical evidence suggested that limbic-temporal epileptiform discharge (in either hemisphere) was highly characteristic of this group (Freeman et al 2001). However, seizure activity was not conclusively demonstrated in some cases (Freeman et al 2001). In those cases, the dream disorder was marked by increased frequency and vivacity of nightmares rather than by recurring nightmares (Freeman et al 2001). This confirmed the overlap between the present syndrome and the previous one (Freeman et al 2001). Following McNamara (2004) it is normal for a person to have nightmares as a response to busy daily life and inner fears.

It is possible to control dreams creating a pleasant atmosphere before sleep and avoiding deep emotional sufferings and fears (Freeman et al 2001). The major disorders of dreaming should be treated as valid neuropsychological syndromes were surrounded by an indefinite number of subtle changes in dreaming that do not warrant the same status (Dement and Vaughan 2000). Although many cerebrally impaired patients reported these changes in response to direct questions about aspects of their dreams, many control patients without cerebral impairment reported the same changes (Dement and Vaughan 2000). These reports did not correlate reliably with established neurobehavioral symptoms and signs (Dement and Vaughan 2000). In addition, although some of them correlated statistically with broad pathological anatomical categories (such as left vs. right hemisphere lesions), the site of the lesions in individual cases could not be reliably predicted from the subjective reports (Dement and Vaughan 2000). Such probabilistic correlations are of scientific interest, but of little clinical value (Dement and Vaughan 2000). These relative deviations from normal dreaming probably represent subclinical tendencies in the direction of the major disorders of dreaming in some cases, but they also represent nonspecific reactions to cerebral pathology, as well as purely functional effects in other cases (Dement and Vaughan 2000).

References

1. Dement, W.C., Vaughan, Ch. (2000). The Promise of Sleep: A Pioneer in Sleep Medicine Explores the Vital Connection Between Health, Happiness, and a Good Nights Sleep. Dell; 1 edition.
2. Freeman, A., Rosner, R. I., Lyddon, W. (2003). Cognitive Therapy and Dreams. Springer Publishing Company; 1 edition.
3. Hobson, J.A. (1999). The Dreaming Brain: How the Brain Creates Both the Sense and the Nonsense of Dreams. Basic Books.
4. Nicoll, M. (1979). Dream Psychology. Red Wheel Weiser.
5. Nagera, H. et a; (2003). Basic Psychoanalytic Concepts on the Theory of Dreams. Maresfield Library, 1990.
6. McNamara, R. (2004). An Evolutionary Psychology of Sleep and Dreams. Praeger Publishers.
7. Pace-Schott, E. (2003). Sleep and Dreaming: Scientific Advances and Reconsiderations. Cambridge University Press,
8. Pick, D, Roper, L. (2004). Dreams and History: The Interpretation of Dreams from Ancient Greece to Modern Psychoanalysis. Routledge.

Introduction

Blended families entail the families, which have come together as result of remarriage with often, the two spouses bringing children from their previous marriage. Step families can be able to improve their lifestyles by following the following examples.

A firm foundation bond will evolve if the two parties are able to adjudicate reality. Before committing themselves to the aspect of marriage, the parents have to ensure that they engage some discussions to the children making them understand that what had taken place was not their fault. After this one should start talking to their children on the possibility of blending the family before the marriage time ensues so as to gain confidence from all the children and see the aspects that develop in the minds of the children or child (Howden 2004).

Main body

Ensuring effective communication entails listening and being listened to which forms a firm basis for understanding. By focusing on the marriage, the blended family will enhance effective communication since what will be in mind will be ensuring the success and development of the family. The couples should try as much as possible to have time together and also with the children alone spending time on a one on one dialogue and discuss on the pertinent issues focusing more on the positive facts as compared to the negative ones (Olson 2004).

Through the embracement of effective communication, commitment can be depicted and as a result all the family members will feel that their personalities are met for example dedicating time to all at their respective needs. Coping with the past is an issue that should be taken into deep consideration sine it lays emphasis to a future prospect of change or the adherence to the initial behavior. By assuring the children that a continual relationship that previously existed will still crop in the new family will make them have a sense of security and engage in the strong buildup of the family bonds.

In then whole family setup, there entails some differences within the children therefore treatment should be based on fairness but not on equity due to likes and dislikes. Each childs individual strength should be focused upon to facilitate satisfaction based on what is seen by them as fitting to their needs without comparison to the others (Gerard 2002).

A more solid and firm future is ascertained and guaranteed when the past and present occurrences are put across so as to come up with a common ground (Kelley 2003).

For example the rituals based on holidays and birthdays when well formulated will be effectively sound satisfactory to each members needs as they come to an accord unlike taking such issues without seriousness.

Effective rules and roles when attributed to the members give a sense of responsibility to all the members (Gerard 2002).It is obvious that the rules and policies may not apply due to the family differences so setting new ones has to incorporate the children so as no to feel disoriented.this rules should at least entail family meetings where views are aired on the various challenges, triumphs and opinions without fear and judgment (Defrain 2007).

Conclusion

Suggestions laid forward in this situation entail that all the decisions made should be optional but in accordance to the ethical principles within the family. The children should not be forced to call mum or dad without their consent since this will shift their attitudes.Inter- couple conflict should be avoided especially in front of the children so as to ensure that strong ties still develop and that the same effect is not replicated to the children. Lastly in the accordance of discipline, favors should be avoided and both parties should participate so as to avoid the children making assumptions of not being needed within the family.

References

Defain, J. (2007). Strong families around the world: The family strengths perspective. New York: Haworth.

Gerard, I. (2002).Grief in stepfamilies Grief Matters v.5 no.1 11-14.

Howden, M. (2004). A practical guide for stepfamilies: from the vision of stepfamily Association of Victoria, 90p.

Kelley, J. (2003) Step parenting in Australia: Australian Social Monitor v.6 no.1: 1-4.

Olson, D.H. (2004). Marriage and spiritual beliefs: A national survey based on The Family Psychologist, 20, 4-8.

Introduction

After reading The Second Shift, the book written by sociologist Arlie Hochschild and Anne Machung, I realized that this work is devoted to one of the vital problems of the society. It covers possible conflicts which usually appear between our workplace and our family life. Hochschild argues that nowadays male careers are like a bomb to a happy family. The author discloses the idea that working mothers who just at the end of their workday usually begin a new work and take the second shift in the family.

Main text

The author covers aspects that are very important for a family life. Vital problems such as career and home should be discussed by every couple before their marriage in order to avoid conflicts and misunderstandings in the future. I am interested whether young couples realize the difficulties of family life before their marriage. The author states that in our generation, housework is shared equally between a wife and a husband only in twenty percent of all families.

Additionally in dual-career families, it almost always leads to frequent illnesses and chronic exhaustion of wives as they put all their efforts to their second family job. Hochschild was the first to raise such problem and by this he supported many women. I wonder how many women strive to be housewives. The author states that those females who have a public job seem far happier than those who are responsible only for housework.

These facts are really proved but nevertheless career women are easily exhausted and less energetic by the end of their double-work day. The author underlines the fact that all these questions are to be discussed within the family before having children, as additional responsibility needs both couples to put in more effort in the family. Hochschild describes this problem as a kind of gender revolution caused by inequality in the family.

But how can people reach ideal harmony in the family? The basic idea of the author is to show how wives and husbands usually divide their physical and emotional job within the family in order to create a better perception of home. One can observe a vivid line between the labor and home economies presented in the book. The author underlines how the birth of a child changes the flow of life in every family and what it results in.

Hochschild stresses that the second shift is taken predominantly by women, though there are some families in which the second job is fulfilled by men. The author provides a reader with a number of statistical data by which one analyzes the present situation of this problem in the families. From his statistical data, Hochschild shows that men not only work 15 hours less than women do and it makes more than a month per year.

The objective of the author is to show the importance of the problem covering all aspects of family life. Hochschild wanted to stress that this question is based on our psychological nature and in some cases it comes from within the family. It is important to note that some women follow the traditions of their families and take the second shift easily while others want this additional job to be shared with their husbands. Moreover, the main purpose of the author is also to explain the behavior of modern couples. I was interested in examination of the forces influencing our perception of the family. The book presents factors contributing to the behavior of modern couples are provided as follow:

• Social experience from the very childhood covering our deep emotions and feelings;
• The period of self-concept formation;
• Peoples work experience;
• The period of marital life when people begin to come to terms with others and share something in common;
• The levels of cultural beliefs which also formulate our thoughts on the habitual way of life.

All these factors influence the behavior of young couples in the family and form their perception of the rules within a home.

After researching the basic statements of the author I found out that they were stimulated by the idea of economy of gratitude which covered values between spouses and the way they were perceived. To illustrate it, Hochschild uses an example that womens salaries should not be higher than mens salaries in order not to offend their pride. Such values are presented almost in every family and are strictly followed by its members; otherwise the couple may face misunderstandings.

The author also used a number of real statistical data based on the social polls and family researches. This data gives an opportunity to see the real situation of modern couples and learn the solution of important family problems in order to avoid future difficulties. This book is of use for many women who take the second shift and face the problem of misunderstanding with their husbands.

I wonder whether this data is realistic and presents the real situation of social family life. In analyzing the story of authors life, one can see that this book is based on Hochschilds own personal experience. Her fast pace of life made her rethink about combination of her career and family life. Hochschilds strong demand in having a family, raising her son and developing a career at the same time stimulated her to write this book.

She also suffered daily tensions caused by difficulties at her office and time commitment to her family. This book is closely connected with the social life of that time, with her personal life as sociologist and covered some aspects from her autobiography. Hochschild managed to overcome all her life difficulties and save her marriage and favorite job. To tell the truth, she could not but share her experience with the society and opened the main secrets of overcoming family difficulties connected with the routine, financial problems and housework at the same time.

I realized that the analysis of the book is really of high value, especially for young couples. Strongside of the work lies in the disclosing of the main problems which men and women face and the ways it can be solved.

The author managed to show the methods of economic reconciliation and the main personal needs appearing with the birth of a baby. The author presents a useful structure of how one should discuss such problems and should not rely on myths when deciding how to avoid marital and emotional cost. One point which can be considered as the disadvantage in the book, from my point of view, is its structure. Hochschild did not follow one point of view during the whole research and very often her ideas did not coincide, that is why some utterances seem to look awkward. But in general, the book is really useful and abounds in many vitally important facts.

Conclusion

The Second Shift can really change the view on family life of every reader as it is quite impressive and realistic. Unfortunately nowadays, these problems are very seldom discussed within the families and it always results in misunderstanding and quarrels. From my personal point of view, in families where both couples have a full day work, they should share all duties equally, or perhaps, a husband should provide his wife with some help and support rather than ignorance and misunderstanding. This book would compulsory influence personal view of how to combine family life while making a successful career.

Some of us know that it is impossible, but Hochschilds work would prove just the opposite and change the perception of family difficulties disclosing the possibilities of their solution and highlighting the methods of how to avoid gender conflicts. Every generation has its rules and values but these vital problems would always exist in most families; that is why one should compulsorily read The Second Shift and follow Hochschilds methods of successful family life.

Introduction

Life is full of changes and a certain event or personality can change your entire life. People can bring a 360-degree change in their lives just by following a personality or attaching themselves to a certain event. Elements like happiness, melancholy, success are considered to be the part and parcel of life. Its a common norm that people usually follow the footsteps of their elders or the people who they aspire a lot. This external force can bring a change in their lives and they can easily climb the ladders of success just by following the footsteps of their aspirations.

Discussion

Most of the personalities that are considered as a legend in todays world were either influenced by a certain person or by a particular event that changed their entire life and transformed their thinking patterns. People like Newton, Edison, and Archimedes etc were transformed from rags to riches just by influencing from the external forces. Isaac Newton discovered the gravitational force just by the witnessing an apple dropped from a tree. Archimedes discovered the Archimedes principle when he was taking a bath. Similarly, Edison was influenced by his teacher and the negative remarks of his teacher developed a self-belief in Edison and he discovered an electric bulb. Thus, most of the inventors and scientists are influenced by an external source and external influence when combined with their intellect has transformed their way of thinking.

I was also influenced by an external force and that external force happened to be my teacher. In the beginning of my educational career I was a bit lethargic and non-serious in my studies. Moreover, in my early days I was interested in playing computer games and spent a huge amount of time in playing games. My grades were affected by this and my parents were worried about my non-serious attitude. But, I was interested in the field engineering and becoming an engineer is the aim of my life. My science teacher developed a sense of self-belief in me and he usually says that if I follow my dreams I can achieve anything in my life. My science teacher transformed my entire personality and helped me a lot in achieving my goal.

He helped me a lot in numerous situations and I consider him as my mentor. His approach of teaching was fabulous and he also helped students that were not sure about their careers. I was facing the same situation and in my early times was unaware of what to do in future. But my charismatic teacher through his optimistic approach changed my mentality and I got interested in the studies of engineering. This transformation has helped me a lot in developing a proper path for my future life.

Conclusion

Today, my attitude towards life is completely changed and I am aligned with the aim of my life. I have transformed from a non-serious student to a dedicated student. All the credit goes to my teacher who developed a sense of self-belief in me and helped me out in difficult circumstances. He usually says that Just believe in your self and you can achieve whatever you want. I am entering into professional studies and my attitude towards life is completely changed now. This is all because of an external factor My teacher.