Category: Family Relationships

In the tapestry of life, family members often serve as the threads that weave our stories together. Among those threads are two remarkable women who have shaped my world – my mother and my sister. This profile essay aims to capture the essence of their personalities, the influence they wield, and the indelible marks they leave on my heart.

My Mother: A Beacon of Unconditional Love

My mother is a beacon of unwavering love and selflessness. Her presence is a source of comfort and stability in our family. With her warm smile and nurturing embrace, she turns our house into a home filled with love and laughter. From the moment I was born, she has been my constant protector, advocate, and confidante.

What sets my mother apart is her ability to offer unconditional love, even when faced with challenges. Through her actions, she teaches me the importance of empathy and compassion. Watching her go out of her way to support family, friends, and even strangers, I have come to understand the true meaning of kindness. Her resilience in the face of adversity is a testament to her inner strength and determination.

My mother’s tireless efforts extend beyond our family. She is involved in various community initiatives, from volunteering at local shelters to organizing fundraisers for charitable causes. Her commitment to making a positive impact on the lives of others serves as a constant reminder of the power of giving.

My Sister: A Trailblazer with a Heart of Gold

My sister, a few years older than me, is a trailblazer with a heart of gold. Her determination and unyielding spirit inspire those around her. From an early age, she showed a thirst for knowledge and a drive to excel in all her endeavors. Her academic achievements are a testament to her dedication and hard work.

Yet, it is not just her achievements that make my sister remarkable; it is her genuine care for others. Despite her busy schedule, she always finds time to lend a listening ear, offer sage advice, or simply share a laugh. Her ability to balance her own ambitions with her commitment to family and friends is a true testament to her character.

My sister’s resilience and adaptability are particularly evident in her pursuit of her passions. Whether it’s conquering a challenging hiking trail, mastering a new instrument, or advocating for social justice issues, she approaches every endeavor with the same level of determination. Her fearlessness in the face of uncertainty encourages me to step outside my comfort zone and embrace new experiences.

The Bond Between Them

The bond between my mother and sister is one of mutual respect and admiration. Their relationship is a testament to the strength of sisterhood and maternal love. While each possesses distinct qualities, they complement each other in ways that create a harmonious family dynamic.

As the years go by, I continue to be amazed by the lessons I learn from them. From my mother, I gain insight into the power of selflessness, empathy, and unwavering love. From my sister, I draw inspiration to chase my dreams fearlessly and embrace challenges with a positive attitude. Together, they embody the values that shape my own character and aspirations.

In conclusion, my mother and sister are two extraordinary women who leave an indelible mark on my life. Their compassion, strength, and dedication inspire me to be a better person each day. Through their actions and words, they have instilled in me the importance of love, kindness, and perseverance. As I journey through life, I am grateful to have these incredible women as my role models and pillars of support.

In society, both loyalty and fidelity are crucial ways of life. The importance of loyalty is evident when examining the essence of family. A theory that is made through MacLeod’s writing is that to understand Scottish-Canadian heritage in the novel, the importance of loyalty, family, and clan ties must first be examined. In Alistair MacLeod’s novel No Great Mischief, the predominant themes are the importance of family and loyalty. The subject of family and loyalty creates the entire plot and characterization of the novel. Loyalty is demonstrated through the loyalty to blood ties and to the clan that the MacDonald family is a part of. In the novel, there are many other smaller themes evident which connect to the predominant themes of family and loyalty. The additional themes of the novel are perseverance and the ability to accept change as a part of life. All of these themes tie into one another and play an integral role in developing the plot and characters. In the novel, the importance of loyalty, family, and clan ties are emphasized. The themes and importance of loyalty, family, clan ties, perseverance, and the ability to accept change compose the entire novel and must be analyzed thoroughly before discussing the Scottish-Canadian culture.

The theme of accepting change is evident throughout the novel and is frequently shown among many characters. The main idea revolving around change in the novel is that change is certain to happen in life and you must persevere and adapt to it or else you will not be able to live free. One of the many characters who contribute to the theme of change is the protagonist, Alexander MacDonald. Alexander shares his opinion on change and declares “‘change without sound, yet change nonetheless, and change that was important, sometimes invisible as well as silent’” (MacLeod 72). In this quote, Alexander is saying that change can happen in silence without anybody noticing at the time but will still have importance and effect on those around it. Alexander does not speak of change glowingly and sees it as a challenge to overcome. In the novel, the ability to accept and overcome change is very vital in the development of the story and Alexander’s character. For Alexander, change is very difficult to go through and he has to overcome this challenge. The change that Alexander must go through is life without his parents or brother Colin who drowned. Alexander also has to deal with his other brother Calum who is a convicted murderer and alcoholic who hides from his problems and is unable to accept change. Calum has had to deal with a lot in life such as being a clan chief of the MacDonalds and having to defend the lost cause of Gaelic culture. Calum defends clan values and principles throughout the novel even though there are many personal consequences. Calum’s defense leads him to not be able to accept change, become a murderer, and have a hard time in life. Calum becomes an alcoholic because of his strong support of the old clan values and principles that have been dematerialized. Calum allows the change in his life to dictate his fate, block him from persevering, and creating his plans in life. Alexander on the other hand can recognize change, adapt to it, and push through it. In terms of contributing to the idea of family and loyalty is that Alexander realizes that he still has a love for Calum even though there have been many changes in their lives from childhood to adulthood. Alexander shows his love and forgiveness towards Calum when he proclaims “‘Ferry the dead. Fois do tandem. Peace to his soul. All of us are better when we’re loved’’’(MacLeod 283). The significance of this quote is that before this Alexander was reminiscing about heartwarming memories between him and Calum. Also, when he says “Peace to his soul” (MacLeod 283) he demonstrates how he would like for there to be tranquility for Calum. The quote stating that ‘’All of us are better when we’re loved’’(MacLeod 283) is significant because it shows that when his bond with Calum is strong, both he and Calum are stronger individuals. Many changes have occured between Calum and Alexander from when their youth to adulthood but Alexander shows that loyalty, love family, and perseverance can be used to deal with the many changes there are in life. Initially, Alexander feels as though he is unloyal to the clan and his family because he separated himself and had a successful career being an orthodontist. A commonly used saying by the MacDonald family is “blood is thicker than water” (MacLeod 110). This phrase is significant because it is what the MacDonalds live by and is used as inspiration to stick together when times are tough and have changed. This saying is at the back of Alexander’s mind and eventually becomes the reason why he visits his brother and sister. This saying ties into the importance of family and loyalty which is essential in the novel.

The novel revolves around the importance of family and loyalty which are both primary themes. Loyalty is shown within the MacDonald family and clan. There are very strong blood and clan ties presented throughout the novel. Family is proven to be key because without family there can be a loss of identity which Alexander’s twin sister experiences. About this, Alexander says ‘One seems a predisposition to have twins, which are more fraternal rather than identical. And one of which is sometimes called ‘’coloring.’ Most of the people are fair-skinned, but within families, some of the individuals have bright red hair while that of their brothers and sisters is a deep, intense shining black’ (MacLeod 29). The significance of this quote is that Alexander’s sister has gone through a loss of self. She tries to separate herself from her family and clan roots but is unable to. Alexander explains how she has tried to change her appearance to be unlike their family by dying a streak of her hair blonde. Within the MacDonald family, there is a use of similar names, specifically the name ‘Alexander’. The use of similar names connects the importance of family and the clan. With a similar use of names within the family they can stay true to their Scottish roots. Alexander’s grandma says “There are enough problems in the world without fighting with your blood ‘(MacLeod 70).

The significance of this quote is that Alexander’s grandma explains how in life there will be many conflicts in life and it is important to stay true to blood ties. In the novel, many conflicts are overcome because loyalty to family and clan is produced. Alexander associates himself with his family tree and is taught by his grandma Gaelic songs and clan stories. Alexander initially feels as though he betrayed his clan and family roots but later on, his loyalty and love towards the two are evident. The clann Chalum Ruaidh has an impact on Alexander’s life once he returns to his roots. Alexander states ‘’My hope is constant in thee, Clan Donald’’ (MacLeod 95). The significance of this quote is that Alexander is explaining how his desires in life revolve around the Clann. Alexander says that he immediately regrets saying this because his sister would take it as a mockery of the clan. Alexander’s sister took this as a mockery because of how Alexander separated himself from the clan, so she is not convinced. The importance of loyalty to both family and clan ties is crucial in the plot development and characterization and must be comprehended in order to understand Scottish-Canadian culture in the novel.

Loyalty to the Chalum Ruaidh clan and MacDonald family is evident throughout the novel and gives a greater understanding of the Scottish-Canadian heritage. In the early seventeenth century People began immigrating to Canada from Scotland. One of the primary destinations for these immigrants was Nova Scotia. In 1779 the legendary patriarch left Scotland and settled in “the land of the trees”. The clan which consisted of Alexander’s descendants was formed with brothers and cousins in the MacDonald family. This shows the importance of loyalty and family in terms of Scottish-Canadian history because the entire Chalum Ruaidh clan consists of members of the MacDonald family who are loyal both to their blood ties and clan. Cape Breton Island had a significant Scottish population and is where Alexander and his twin sister left and prospered. In Cape Breton, Gaelic is the only language spoken there and is the language spoken by Alexander’s grandparents and other clan members. Alexander separates himself from the clan and is haunted by his past and roots throughout the novel. This is ultimately the reason why Alexander returns to his clan roots and shows his loyalty towards his family and clan by returning to his brother and sister and strengthening their bonds again. At the beginning of the novel Calum addresses Alexander saying “‘Ah ‘ille bhig ruaidh you’ve come at last’'(MacLeod 8). Calum uses his family name and Gaelic language when greeting Alexander. This quote is significant because the novel begins with Calum demonstrating his loyalty to his family and clan through his use of the Gaelic language. The Gaelic language and culture are a part of Alexander that he cannot escape even though he separated himself from the clan and prospered. The importance of the clan is evident throughout and is visible when Alexander is in the homes of hosts and is asked questions such as “‘What’s your name? ” What’s your father’s name? ‘What’s your mother’s father’s name?’ And almost without fail, in the case of myself and my cousins​, there would be a knowing look across the face of our questionnaires and they would say, in response to our answer, ‘Ah, you are the clann Chalum Ruaidh,’ as if that somehow explained everything’'(MacLeod 28). Through this quote the significance of the clan name is evident and the identity of Alexander portrayed by the questioners is dependant on the clan name. It is crucial to first understand loyalty, clan ties, and blood ties before examining Scottish-Canadian heritage because the heritage has a basis of all three of these themes which are evident throughout the novel. To fully understand the history of Scottish migration to Canada close detail about the clan priorities, loyalty to one another, and blood ties must be thoroughly examined. It is impossible to get a sense of the realities that the Scottish people were dealing with without studying the prime concerns within families and clans.

In conclusion, the theory that to understand Scottish-Canadian heritage in the novel, the importance of loyalty, family, and clan ties must first be examined. The themes that relate to this are the importance of family and loyalty to blood and clan ties. Family and loyalty create the entire plot and characterization in the novel. Loyalty is demonstrated through loyalty to blood ties and to the clan that the MacDonald family is a part of. Additional themes in the novel are perseverance and the ability to accept change as a part of life. All of these themes tie into one another and play an integral role in developing the plot and characters. In the novel, the importance of loyalty, family, and clan ties are emphasized. The themes and importance of loyalty, family, clan ties, perseverance and the ability to accept change compose the entire novel and must be analyzed thoroughly before discussing the Scottish-Canadian culture. In the novel, several characters show their loyalty towards their family and the clan of which their family is a part. The use of Gaelic language are reminiscing about old stories is evident throughout the novel and gives a great understanding of the Scottish-Canadian culture from a deeper perspective. An argument can be made that it is possible to understand Scottish-Canadian heritage by just looking at the facts and history and not studying the specifics of the clan’s priorities of loyalty to blood and clan ties. But to get the greatest understanding of Scottish-Canadian heritage specific details must be examined first.

The debate about whether age is important for a relationship does not lose its relevance. Society is divided into two camps: some believe that the age difference does not harm the quality of the relationship, while others see it as a threat. As for me, I don’t think age matters much in relationships, and in this essay, I’m going to argue my point.

Some scholars who are for the age gap not being a barrier in marriage state that the success of a relationship does not really depend on the age gap, but it depends on the level to which married and intending couples share similar elements and factors, beliefs and goals about their relationship, living for each other by supporting for the sole aim of achieving personal aspirations, fostering relationship commitment, trusting one another respecting intimacy, looking for solutions when problems arise, therefore, so long as couples work at their defined relationship, age should be no barrier. According to Vanguard, Angela Okorie has argued extensively that “age is just a number in marriage, that it doesn’t matter, that all that matters is that they love each other”. She said that a lady can marry a man who is older or younger than her. A man can also marry a woman who is older or younger than him, what really matters is that they love and understand each other. Tope Tedela supported Angela Okorie stating that a man can be older than the wife and the marriage can also be in shambles, and that a woman can be older and the couples will seemingly be happy. He further stated that there is no hard and fast rule, let one follow his or her heart and join it with prayers. Results indicated that woman-older partners were the most satisfied with and committed to their relationships, relative to woman-younger and similarly aged partners, consistent with socio-cultural predictions. A lawyer, Mr. Seun Oluwabamise, belongs to the category of the latter. He believes that “love and mutual understanding should be the watchword among love birds”.

More so, men marry younger wives because it is said and believed that younger women in marriage make older men feel young and desired. Some also go into it because of their former relationship just to make themselves happy and get over their divorces. Furthermore, the older men do that because they need ego massages all the time and the young wives are always available to do just that, and the younger wives are ready to respect their husbands because they are perhaps far older than them.

The act of marrying older wives may be out of place for those who were born from the 1st century perhaps down to the 18th and 19th centuries, but it is important to note that men of this dispensation fall for older women. Jason Momoa, was 39, and his wife Lisa Bonet was 51 years, she was 12 years older than her husband. The men go into this marital relationship because of emotional stability, the older women are caring and they are always focused on like the younger ones. It is said that it is easier to have a relationship with an older woman because she knows how to communicate what she wants, it has a snowball effect all the way around.

The act of women marrying older men in our contemporary is never a new thing. They marry older men because the man perhaps is successful, he is mature, they are more suitable in life, they are responsible, in the aspect of sex they are sexually experienced, they are less likely to stray, develop more time for their wives, open-minded, they always help in living in the present, and their long experience will help their wives live more interestingly.

Studies have shown that a greater percentage of women in the world are ever ready to go into a marital relationship with men who are older than them. Furthermore, it has been said that if a woman sees a man who has the qualities she wants, age alone need not stop her from getting married to him. It is also believed that when a woman ends up with a younger man, it’s all about the woman, the man tends to love and take care of her unlike an older man who is already established, has a career, stress, and lots of obligations. More also, the younger man steps it up for the woman, impressing the woman even in the presence of the older ones they are attracted to, their testosterone goes into overdrive. It is said and believed by some people that the younger spouse does appreciate their wives when the woman brings a lot to the table, emotionally, financially, and from the view of life experience. They also make their older wives feel like a young lady because we become what we encamp ourselves with. To the older spouse being around a younger spouse makes life to be fun and fresh.

Contrary to the above position, some people also state that age is a strong element in marriage. They believe that men ought to be older than women, further arguing that when it comes to marriage and relationships, age ceases to be a number, that the man is supposed to be older than the woman, because that is how God ever wanted it to be, that God created Adam before Eve and if that’s true then men should be older for their women to love and respect them the more. Also, they believe that it’s always better for the man to be older for security purposes, and if the woman is older, the reverse may be the case. In addition, a lot of factors might not be able to stand the test of time. Furthermore, it has been discovered that, based on the analysis of mortality which was estimated and adjusted census data, men aged 70 married to younger women have the chances of living longer than men who are married to older women. It was noted that the mortality risk associated with married to a younger woman was clearly less than that that associated with marriage to an older woman, which has physiological and longevity implications. It was noted that relationship or marriage with wider age gaps is more prevalent among poorer, less well-educated couples, more so, those couples with a big age gap sometimes end up cohabiting and have less to talk about.

In conclusion, I believe that the age difference is not a threat to the relationship. And while there are people who continue to believe that age plays a key role in maintaining healthy and successful relationships, trends in modern society suggest that age is no longer so important. Age is just a number; a happy relationship is much more, it is something that requires a lot of effort.

The goal of the Kinship Guardianship Assistance Payment Program (Kin-GAP) was to establish permanency for foster children who have been living with a relative caregiver by offering guardianship through juvenile court when their dependency is dismissed. It sought to lower the number of children in the foster care system while still providing equivalent subsidies. For this paper, it is important to note that there are many types of kinship guardian programs between states, but in this case, I will mainly be referring to California’s Kin-GAP.

Those who are entering foster care are some of the most vulnerable children. They are likely to exhibit elevated levels of educational, psychological, and medical needs. Oftentimes finding a placement for these children can be a difficult process. The goal is to have a long-term residency where the child’s needs are met. Kinship care is considered a step forward in child welfare. There is multiple evidence that supports the positive benefits of having foster children live with a relative caregiver. It is evidenced through fewer placements, fewer reentries into foster care after reunification, a greater likelihood of being placed with siblings, a maintained sense of family and ethnic identity, and more (Aron). The outcomes for kinship-placed children are greater than for those who are not placed in relative guardianship.

This concept or strategy is not something new, it has been around for centuries. The formal use of kinship care in the child welfare system arose in the mid-1980s through the 90s when there was rapid growth of children being maintained in the child welfare system. (Shlonsky, 2004). When kinship guardianship took on a more formal role in child welfare, the crack cocaine crisis was at a prolonged peak. In 1989, out of about 900,000 substantiated referrals for abuse in neglect, 675,000 involved caretakers who were abusing drugs or alcohol. According to the American Public Welfare Association (APWA) and the American Enterprise Institute (AEI), there was a 29% increase in foster care placements from 1987 to 1990. Much of this increase was from communities that were hit hardest by crack cocaine (McCullough). With the enforcement of drug laws, which was used largely as a political tool at the time, and the unavailability of nonrelated foster homes, the unprecedented rise in the foster care population became of huge concern. This was compounded with the introduction of mandatory reporting laws (Lloyd). This led the public to view kinship care as an important tool in meeting the needs of children in the child welfare system (McCullough). Still, this contributed to the number of children residing in long-term foster care. This placement type was not legally permanent and was expensive to maintain.

Though it is difficult to pinpoint specific groups who were in favor or opposition to Kin-GAP, those who aligned more progressively politically were generally more in favor of this policy. Also, those who experienced firsthand the benefits of kinship care like families, foster children, direct service workers, etc. were likely to be in favor as well. This can be said differently with more conservative groups. They tended to argue in opposition to the policy. Also, another group in opposition may include parents. Some parents may be against the established permanent guardianship of their child to a relative. This creates a power relation dynamic between kinship guardian and parent, where the state is more situated with the former.

The arguments against Kin-GAP stem from an individualist neoliberal ideology. Opponents argue that it will promote a system of reliance on the government, benefitting “dysfunctional” families at the expense of taxpayers (Kealy). Supporters of the policy argue it will be more cost-efficient, instead of having to pay for costly supervision, and will reduce the load on the foster care system (Shlonsky 2002). They also provide evidence that it promotes greater permanency, healthier environments, and reduced stress on caregivers as a result of financial subsidies and follow-up services (Kealy).

Eligibility

To qualify for either the federal or state-funded Kin-Gap program, a child and the prospective guardian must meet multiple eligibility criteria. A child must be under the age of eighteen, must reside with a relative caregiver for at least six consecutive months, has been removed from the parental home under a voluntary placement agreement, be ruled a dependent child or ward of the juvenile court, and have entered a written binding agreement by the guardian and the county welfare agency or probation department before the establishment of guardianship (Kealy). Additionally, the guardian must be assessed according to the criteria established for foster care placement with a relative (CDSS).

The eligibility rules for the Kin-GAP program are universal within the foster care system. Using Stern’s framework on engaging in social welfare policy, programs that do not require an income test are defined as universal (Stern). The Kin-Gap program does not refer to the means of a family or caregiver, and any exemption and regulations would apply to all families and individuals (National Economic and Social Council). However, it is up to the discretion of the social worker whether to terminate court involvement or not. This can be based on a variety of reasons that may entail selective or mean-tested practices. Also, a relative caregiver’s participation in Kin-GAP is voluntary and not mandated by regulation or mandate (CDSS).

The target populations of this policy are aimed specifically at foster youth who have a relative guardian. Both the child and relative guardian receive benefits depending on their form. Also under the Federal Kin-GAP program, any sibling of the child existing under Title IV-E Kin-GAP may be placed in the same guardianship arrangement (CDSS).

California took advantage of federal flexibility in defining the term “relative” to benefit from federal Kin-GAP. This includes any adult who is related to the child by blood, adoption, meets the definition of a nonrelated extended family member, a member of an Indian child’s tribe, etc. (CDSS). Those that do not fall into the categories defined under Welfare and Institutions section 11391(c) are excluded from the intended beneficiaries.

Benefits

The benefits of Kin-GAP come in the form of cash and services. The payments are based on the child’s needs that would otherwise be covered by foster care payments. These payments increase as the child ages and are assessed at least every two years. Rates are also increased based on the level of care and supervision required for the child, as well as factoring in the relative guardian’s circumstances. Children may also receive a clothing allowance issued through a check or clothing gift card (DCSF)

Because Kin-GAP’s main benefit is more defined in the form of financial assistance through cash, it is more tangible and concrete. The benefits are also diversified in a way that Kin-GAP may qualify beneficiaries for even more services like Medi-Cal.

The use of cash and other qualifying benefits as an incentive for legal guardianship can raise particular moral hazards within this policy. According to Stern, moral hazards refer to a risk created by security (Stern). In this case, the level of benefits associated with Kin-GAP may potentially lead to ill-intended legal guardianships. However, the rationales and underlying assumptions of this design were based on outcomes of children residing with relative guardians. Children who exited foster to legal guardianship were not likely to be maltreated or have another change in placement (Shlonsky 2002). The policy is one of the most effective interventions for placing children into permanent homes. According to a report done on Kin-GAP, 6,701 children in 26 counties exited the foster care system into Kin-GAP from January 1, 2000, to July 1, 2001 (Davis). Though the success of the policy can be attributed to many factors, universal eligibility within the foster care system proved vital in making it accessible for relative caregivers.

Delivery

When implementing this policy, the administrative considerations for delivery service first involve notifying all related foster parents about Kin-GAP. This includes developing and implementing a process for identifying adult relatives of a child’s removal, developing a plan to inform relative guardians who already have children living with them, modifying training to incorporate the availability of Kin-GAP, and also more educational and informative services on the policy (Testa et al.). The administration is focused on accessibility and outreach through direct service, but they are also concerned with funding. There are certain criteria for beneficiaries that allow them to receive additional federal Kin-GAP funding. Another administrative consideration is exposing beneficiaries to the additional criteria that will make them eligible for the additional funding.

The program is delivered through county social service agencies by mainly social workers and case managers. It can argued that Kin-GAP is a decentralized program because of the discretion the state has when administering and delivering the service. California’s Kin-GAP is run and financed jointly by the state and federal governments. It has aspects that are both centralized and decentralized (Besley, Coate).

The goal was to reduce the number of children in the foster care system and bring them into more permanent and stable homes through incentivized means. The role of relative guardians proved effective in this mission and also alleviated the issue of overrepresentation of children of color within the foster care system (Killos et al.). In Gilbert and Terrell’s Dimensions of Social Policy, they examine delivery systems and the importance of utilizing providers and consumers (Gilbert, Terrell). The delivery system proved effective in doing so. By utilizing direct services and incorporating strategies to reach beneficiaries, the policy was able to have a lasting effect on the foster care system.

Finance

Kin-GAP is federal, state, and county funded. It is funded at 50% federal share for children who are determined to be Title IV-E eligible. The remaining share is balanced by the state through foster care block grants and local county funds (Reddin). The cost-sharing arrangement falls in the middle of the continuum which reflects the desire to stay autonomous locally and still have national planning (Gilbert, Terrell).

The success of Kin-GAP can be attributed to the collaboration between federal, state, and local administrations. However, the policy design and how it was administered was especially an effective strategy in attaining their goals. The incentivized portion of Kin-GAP was a central aspect in reaching relative caregivers and providing permanent placement for children. It was also socially effective as well. Those who were potentially eligible were not inhibited from applying (Gilbert, Terrell). This discretion is allowed mainly because of the block grant. When AFDC was supplanted by TANF in 1996, funding switched from categorical to block grants, allowing more freedom for states (Gilbert, Terrell). However, there are usually additional criteria like citizenship status, income, and work requirements when switching to block grants.  

There are three types of parenting styles which are permissive, authoritarian, and authoritative. Permissive parents believe that their kids should not be monitored constantly, should be able to think on their own, and have little control over them (Berks & Meyers, 2016, p.394). The second parenting style is authoritarian, which parents expect their child to follow their rules and are in control all the time (Baumrind, 1966). The last parenting style is authoritative, which parents are more involved in their kids’ life and are more encouraging when it comes to expressing feelings and their opinions (Berks & Meyers, 2016, p.393).

Examples of Different Parenting Styles

Scenario 1

If the child does not want to go to bed, an authoritarian parent would punish their child for disobeying them by spanking or by putting them in time out for a while. Permissive parents would be okay with it and would let them sleep whenever they want because they do not like to control their children a lot. An authoritative parent would let their children past their bedtime for just a little bit longer, like a couple of minutes, but then try to reason with them that if they go to bed, now they would not be tired in the morning.

Scenario 2

If a child broke a toy, authoritative guardians would feel bad for them and ask them if they want to go get another toy similar to that one or a better one. An authoritarian guardian will not feel bad and will ask the child to play with another toy and if the child cries because of it the parents would punish them. The permissive guardian will try to calm them first and ask them how they are feeling and would probably buy them another toy because they do not like to see their children crying​.

Scenario 3

If an authoritarian guardian sees that their child’s room is a mess, they would punish their children by taking their electronics or tv and if the child still does not clean the parent would most likely hit them. A permissive guardian would help their child clean up their room, but the guardian would end up doing most of the cleaning. Authoritative guardians would let them get away with it for a while because they do not like to demand a child, but will also help them clean after. They try to reason with their child that having a clean room makes them seem more organized, but the guardian does this for their own benefit.

Scenario 4

If a child is not done doing their project at friends and needs more time, an authoritarian guardian would not allow their child to stay longer because they do not have a choice to do so because the guardian set the rules for them and the child has to follow it. Authoritative guardians would understand that they need more time, so they would let them stay a little longer because they want their child to finish their project on time. A permissive guardians will let them stay for as long as they want because they allow their child to regulate their own rules.

Scenario 5

If an authoritative guardian sees that their son came home late and has a worried expression, they would try to encourage him to talk about it and they would be understanding about what he is telling them. These parents will sit their son and will allow him to express himself thoroughly. Since a permissive parent is seen as a friend, they would also be understanding at what the boy is telling them and they would probably be okay with it. But if it was an authoritarian guardian, they would be mad at the boy and would try to force him to tell them what is going on and if he does not comply there would be consequences.

Scenario 6

In the event of a child taking an unpaid candy bar from a store, an authoritarian parent would shame their child for doing such a thing and in all likelihood, they would take away privileges like not allowing them to go to the store or anywhere else with them. A permissive guardian would tell them to apologize and would set a rule to never do that again because there can be consequences enforced. The children of an authoritative parent would place consequences because stealing is not okay to do and will discipline them about why stealing is wrong because if they get caught there will be bigger consequences.

My First Caregiver

The first caregiving is my mother, who was more of an authoritative parent when my siblings and I were growing up. As an authoritative parent she was always nurturing and expected us to be on our best behavior. My mom is very nurturing because she loves my siblings and I unconditionally. An example is that every single day my mom tells us that she loves us and she shows it by giving us hugs and kisses. And of course, we would do the same to her because that is just how it works. My mom always wanted my siblings and I to be on our best behavior. When we go places before we enter that place my mom will always stop us and tell us to be on our best behavior. For example, she would always stop us and say things like, “Do not horseplay, be respectful to the people around us, say ‘hi’ to others”. She also always wanted us to do kind acts. There was this once when I went to the store with my mom, and we saw a man that had both arms amputated, and he needed help with his groceries, so I went up to him to help him. My mom has always taught me that if I see someone that needs help badly to not hesitate and give them a hand. Another example of this was when I went out with my family and this other family sat next to me, I got up to get napkins, and the other dad asked me if I can get him a straw, and I said that I will get it from him. He said that he was playing, and that he will get it himself, since he has been asking his daughter, but kept ignoring him. I told him that it was fine since I was going to be walking towards that way. At the end, he gave me a gift card because of my random act of kindness.​ ​Most of the time, when we do things for people such as helping them when they need it, they end up complimenting us.​

My Second Caregiver

The second caregiver is my dad. He was more of an authoritative parent because he allowed us to do what we wanted, but with some limits because he did not want us to be rebellious towards him and my mom or anyone else. He tries to reason with use about how important it is to not be at sitting at home all day and to go out with friends or for a walk. I have two dogs and because of that my dad is always encouraging us to take them out for a walk. He says that it is important to take a little break from school work and go play with our dogs.​ ​Since we live right next to a park, he makes us take our dogs out for a walk because he says that it is good for the both of us.​ ​And I agree with him because we are getting our daily exercise and are involved with the outside environment. My dad has always used positive discipline towards my siblings and I. Every time when we would misbehave, instead of hitting us like most other parents did, he would always sit us down and ask us why if what we are doing is okay. If one of us says now then he would ask us then why did we do what we did even though we know it was bad. He also never put us in time-out, but made us read a book or do something else productive, like help around the house, such as cleaning. Also, when we would do something good, he would always reward us with taking us to get ice cream or other foods. There was this time when we helped my mom clean our whole house because we had a party the day before so it was very messy. My dad found out about it and when he got out of work, he rewarded us with our favorite food and after that he took us to the park. But not every time we did something good got rewarded with food. Most of the time was just him telling us that we did a good job and to keep up the good work. He never believed that hitting us was the right thing to do, so he would always find other ways to discipline us.​

The Influence of My Parents’ Parenting Style on Me as a Person

The qualities a child, who has an authoritative guardian, is expected to have, are emotionally developed, develop social skills, are able to express their emotions freely, they are expected to want to be able to learn new things at school and at home (Family Partnership and Culture, 2016).​ Some of these traits do apply to me. I always liked to learn new things especially when it comes to learning new things at school. I also have good social skills because of what I previously wrote about how my mom always wanted my siblings and I to do when we saw people struggling and we would ask them if they needed help. Also, because we were able to interact with our family in a positive way. Some interactions I have had with my family is making plans with my cousins and going to the theatres or just for a walk around the park.​ ​The parenting style that I described for my mom had a positive impact on my life. If it wasn’t for the way she raised my siblings and I would be making poor decisions when it came to our education. According to Family Partnership and Culture, some families like to support their children’s education (2016). My mom always makes sure that I am on the right path with my education. She always makes sure that my grades are good and wants to know if my overall performance in college is good. My dad is also considered an authoritative guardian, the qualities that we are expected to get are having good social skills, emotional development, are also expected to be able to learn, and literacy development (Family Partnership and Culture, 2016). As I said in the other paragraph, there are some of these traits that do apply to me, but the only one that does not apply to me is the emotional development trait. This trait does not apply to me because I do not like to express my feelings to people. I like to keep the way I am feeling myself because I feel like I cannot express those feelings to others. Although I do not like to express my feelings, I do like helping people and feel empathy for the feelings of others. The parenting style of my dad did have a positive impact on me as a person. He helped me shape my behavior through reasoning. Because if it were not for that, I would most likely be aggressive and over all be in a bad position. I would also be making a lot of poor decisions, and I would be struggling with trying to be a better person. According to Berk and Meyers, children with an authoritative guardian are most of the time in a good mood (2016, p.393). Which is true for me because I am always in a good mood, especially because I have my dogs and family around me.

References

1. Baumrind, D. (1966). Effects of Authoritative Parental Control on Child Behavior, Child Development, 37(4), 887-907.
2. Berk, L. E., & Meyers, A. B. (2016). Infants, Children, and Adolescents (Eighth ed.). Boston: Pearson.
3. Family Partnerships and Culture (2016). Retrieved November 7, 2019, from https://www.cde.ca.gov/sp/cd/re/documents/familypartnerships.pdf

A human being is a social animal and to survive in this society we have to communicate and interact with individuals. It s not the individual who impacts our learning process but it the relationship with them, the places where we met, and the things that they did; and that’s how cognition occurs (May 2013). According to Te Whariki, the New Zealand early childhood curriculum which is based on sociocultural and ecological development reveals the importance of families in children’s lives ( Clarkin – Phillips, 2012). So, there is a need for collaborative partnerships between teachers, families, and children in order to promote children’s learning and development. This essay would describe the critical analysis of the significance and effects of collaborative partnerships between parents, teachers, and children. On the basis of these two principles: strengthening the relationships with parents and effective communication are designed which would promote family resilience and support positive outcomes for the children.

To commence, the collaborative partnership among teachers, children, and their families has great importance in the early childhood context. The significant importance of collaborative partnership is that the teachers could promote children’s cognitive growth by having a full understanding of the children. No one could give exact information about the children than their families (May 2013). It is acknowledged that the child’s brain grows at its fastest rate between birth and six years. So, the children learn various concepts, skills, and relationships whilst in their family (May 2013). Munn and Schaffer (as cited in May 2013 p. 57) stated that the home environment can be “highly adaptive to children’s cognitive functioning” as parents are very sensitive towards their children’s abilities, interests, and preferences and are able to support their children’s emerging understandings. So, after having conversations with parents, teachers could get vital information about the children which would help not only develop good relationships with family but also maximize the opportunities for the best care, education, and successful learning of the children (May 2013). The second importance of collaborative partnership is to strengthen responsive and reciprocal relationships between teachers, children, and families (Clarkin-Philips, 2012). Teachers develop a valuable relationship with children which is an important support for their family as it not only benefits to children’s learning but also provides reassurance to the parents about the development of their children (Duncan, 2006). According to the curriculum principle of Family and community, much emphasis is given to the well-being of a child’s family and community they belong to because a child’s learning and development are interdependent with the well-being of the adults who are responsible for them (Clarkin-Philips, 2012). For this, teachers negotiate and facilitate family contacts with other government and non-government supportive agencies like Plunket Line, Benefits Rights Service, Budget Advice, Parents As First Teachers, etcetera. These opportunities would foster positive outcomes for families which impacts positively on children (Clarkin-Philips, 2012). The third significant value of collaborative partnership in the early childhood context is to build trustworthy relationships and connections between early childhood centers and home environments of diverse cultures and languages. Due to this collaborative partnership, Immigrants families could also participate in the “community of practice” (Wenger as cited in Guo, 2012), in which all community members participate in order to achieve a common goal with shared endeavors. Families provide funds of knowledge to the teachers which would help the teachers to respond appropriately to cultural and language diversity (Guo, 2012). Immigrant parents are empowered to value the importance of funds of knowledge in early childhood centers for making significant and effective changes to their children’s learning towards biculturalism. Parents would participate and share their values, beliefs, knowledge, and practices with teachers which would make trust and make a strong connection between them (Guo, 2012).

Moving further, the collaborative partnership has both positive and negative effects on children’s learning and development. Firstly, due to collaborative partnership strong connections between micro and mesosystem are established according to Bronfenbrenner (as cited in Clarkin-Philips, 2012). He suggested that if there are strong connections between Microsystems there would be greater positive development. If the child’s home and early childhood center have strong links, the better the child would be able to grow. Moreover, when these Microsystems (an immediate environment in which the child lives such as home and kindergarten) work together form a mesosystem ( that is a parent- teachers conferences) would also help ensure the child’s overall growth and development. It is because a child’s development is hugely affected by intimate relationships (May 2013). Parents’ contributions are also valued and appreciated. Parents feel confident and comfortable when they talk with teachers about their children. Moreover, it is also significant in building relationships among teachers and parents especially when parents come from diverse communities. For instance, the appointment of a Samoan teacher provides affordance to parents who belong to the Samoan community. Parents could talk with the bilingual teacher without any fear of being misinterpreted or misunderstood (Clarkin-Philips, 2012). Secondly, with the collaborative partnership, the aspirations of parents are realized at kindergarten. When parents come to the centers and share information when they chat at kindergarten about themselves. Teachers come to know about their abilities and strengths. In this way, opportunities for education and employment are provided to them (Clarkin-Philips, 2012). For instance, if any parent with a chef background could get a part-time job at a kindergarten to make lunches for children. Another example is if the head teacher recognizes any parent’s ability to have ICT skills and could offer the parent part-time employment as a kindergarten administrator. So, attention is given to the teachers to ensure families attending the kindergarten are empowered and supported in realizing the parent’s aspirations (Clarkin-Philips, 2012). Thirdly, with this collaborative partnership, teachers could make trustworthy relationships with parents and assist particularly those parents with children with additional needs. They could provide integrated services to children and their families through various government and non-government supportive agencies. Due to collaborative partnerships, parents could discuss various issues about their children and personal life. The supportive agencies provide information, advice, and strategies to parents that help them to function better (Duncan, 2006). Moreover, the Parent Support and Development project is built that combines parent education and support and early childhood education instead only of parent-focused or child-focused. Its main objective is to improve the health, education, and social outcomes of vulnerable children through effective parenting, participation, and engagement of children and their families in early childhood education and the development of trustworthy connections between child’s learning at home and the early childhood education environment (Clarkin-Philips, 2012). There are some negative effects of collaborative partnerships. First, sometimes support providers do not provide parents with sensitive and appropriate support which could damage the relationships between teachers and parents (Duncan, 2006). Second, the partnership could be challenging because of the narrow view of the childcare professional. It is when he thinks his work is only concerned about the children and not families. This could have negative impacts on the relationship between teachers and parents (Stonehouse, 2011).

In this paragraph, based on the analysis, the first principle is the authentic relationships with the families which could promote the positive outcome of the children’s learning and build family resilience which means the capacity to struggle well against adversity and challenges (Wlash, 2008). Teachers should encourage and support families especially who are dealing with complicated and complex lives (Clarkin-Philips, 2012). Parents face inner struggles in being able to ask for help as it seems like an admission of failure (Sanders & Munford, 2010). The positive relationship between teachers and young child’s families is an important source of support for families in general as well as during times of anxiety and need (Sciaraffa, Zeanah & Zeanah, 2018). Teachers could make authentic, trustworthy, and committed relationships with parents (Sanders & Munford, 2010). Parents feel confident and comfortable when they are welcomed into early childhood education programs. They feel that their inputs are valued in the child’s daily activities and their learning process. Parents could share their life experiences and could talk about issues related to their children without any fear of misjudgment. Teachers also do visits to their homes to get funds for knowledge about their children. Family resilience is an important tool for helping teachers to think more positively about the role of families in their child’s schooling. School-wide preventive programs provide opportunities for parents, teachers, and children to interact with one another. Much emphasis is given to the family’s involvement in children- planning, decision-making, problem-solving, and learning (Amatea, Smith & Villares, 2006). These preventive programs educate parents about how to discuss difficult topics such as sexual activities, drugs, and alcohol use with their children. They are also provided the opportunity to share their views, hopes, and desires with their children. In school, student-led conferences are organized so that children could share their school progress and their future goals with their parents. As every child must be facilitated to express his/ her view and they must be listened to (Te one, 2011). To enhance the positive learning environment of children, it is recognized that it is the right of every child to the standard physical, mental, spiritual, moral, and social development (O’ Brein & Salonen, 2011). The first example in the context of authentic relationships is from my own experience. In the school where I taught in India, most children came from poor families and their parents were illiterate. They did not come to school to know about their children’s performance because they already have their own bad school experiences. Moreover, they also experienced other stresses in their life due to poverty (Amatea, Smith & Villares, 2006). So, they did not participate in the school activities of their children. Our school head teacher with the support of other staff organised parent-teacher meetings in which parents are invited. So, this initiative was to strengthen families’ understanding of their children’s learning at school and make connections with children’s lives were developed by the teachers (Clarkin-Philips, 2012). Further, the second example that supports the principle of authentic relationships is in all early childhood centers in New Zealand are working on collaborative partnerships with parents because families are important people in the children’s lives. Parents are welcomed and feel a sense of belonging in child care. Teachers in the centers have informal communication with the parents and tell them the good news about their children (Stonehouse, 2011). It is possible by making trustworthy relationships with teachers which is significant for promoting family resilience (Wlash, 2008). So, the above principle could lead to promoting positive learning of children by giving the strength to the families and children to face the difficult challenges of life by collaborating with teachers.

In this paragraph, the second principle is effective communication on the basis of which the best positive outcome of children’s learning and family resilience could be built. Teachers should encourage the parents to communicate in a respectful and cooperative manner ( Amatea, Smith & Villares, 2006). Teachers could inculcate the value of the ‘Can do spirit’ by assisting the families to lead a life with a positive attitude. Teachers should encourage the families to share their stories of adversity openly in order to know more about the families. Through this two-way communication, there would be an exchange of knowledge, values, and beliefs. The collaborative partnership relies on reciprocal exchanges in which information is shared and help given in both directions that is from and to parents (May, 2013). It would help to build trust between teachers and parents. These conversations could reveal that parents are important and capable facilitators for the success of their children (Amatae, Smith & Villares, 2006). Some workshops are organized by the centers to educate parents who often worry about the risks involved in the first-hand experiences that their children would meet. Moreover, they are not confident enough to voice their concerns. But by communicating with teachers parents find opportunities to ask questions about the risks and teachers guide them on how to manage risks to promote cognitive growth and creativity (May 2013). Teachers could make a supportive environment for families so that parents could feel a sense of belonging and could connect their lives with the childcare community. Teachers could initiate informal communication with parents by using a variety of ways like text messages, emails etcetera. Teachers could share good news not only about the big events but the little things as well about their children with families (Stonehouse, 2011). The first example to illustrate this principle is in New Zealand early learning centers, in order to facilitate the communication between teachers and parents, children’s portfolios (a documented record of their learning at learning centers) are used. This contained a ‘whanau voice page’ which is intended for families to make comments about their child in response to their learning stories. Teachers send these portfolios to the children’s homes in order to give information to the parents about children’s learning, progress, and achievement. Teachers strengthen the connections between home and early learning centers through these portfolios. Parents also give responses about their children’s learning process. So, these informal comments and conversations about children encourage the positive learning of the children. The teachers also share their own profiles with the families when they come to the centers. As this is an indication of responsive reciprocal relationships between home and early learning centers (Clarkin-Phillips, 2012). The second example related to this principle is in New Zealand, ECE centers, directly and indirectly, support the development of resilience in individuals and families (Duncan, 2006). Parents could talk about their fears, hopes, and desires with the teachers and their children. As teachers show genuine interest in the lives of children and their families which enables families to ‘open up’ about personal life issues. There are many families who are parenting alone, have children with special needs, or facing financial adversity etcetera. Teachers could provide support to families through various supportive agencies and could act as mediators between agencies and families. These agencies provide strategies to parents that help them to function better which is only possible because of the effective association provided by teachers (Duncan, 2006). So, effective communication between teachers and parents could lead to making trustworthy and strong relationships which is crucial to promote successful learning of children and building family resilience.

To sum up, a collaborative partnership between teachers and parents is very crucial to promote children’s learning and development as well as to provide assistance to those families who bounce back in their life after facing various life challenges. It is believed that family is the cornerstone of a child’s education, care, and overall well-being. It is noted that the relationship with parents has evolved from ‘working with parents’ to ‘partnership with parents’ and now to ‘collaboration with parents’ (Duncan, 2006). It is because no one could better understand their child than their parents. They know about their particular interests and activities which could help the teachers in their children’s academic performance. It is possible if parents share their knowledge, values, beliefs, and culture with the teachers. When teachers build effective collaboration with children and their families build up a positive environment for the successful learning of the children and promote family resilience. As it is asserted that when teachers, children, and families view one another as partners in education, then a caring community is formed around the children (Amatea, Smith & Villares, 2006). It has a good impact on the overall well-being, growth, and development of children.

Two years after working at Reynolds’ Metals, my father married my mother after less than one year of dating her. During their courtship and at the time of their wedding, my mother lived in Thomasville, Georgia, and my father lived in Richmond, Virginia. My mother was considered a beauty with wavy, dirty blonde hair, blue eyes (which she argues are green), a perfect smile, and killer legs. My father often referred to her as the love of his life. Plum was in favor of my father proposing to my mother, and she gave him the engagement ring Dick had given her.

When Dick proposed to Plum, he had originally given her an engagement ring with a tiny diamond. Plum graciously accepted it. Soon after, they got together with Aunt May who immediately asked to see the ring. When she laid her eyes on it, she was aghast and told Plum to hand it over. Plum did and Aunt May exchanged it for a much more appealing ring with a large center diamond with small diamonds wrapping around it in a yin-yang-like fashion. Plum loved it, and so did my mother. When my mother showed it to Aunt Dot, Aunt Dot took her to a jeweler to confirm the diamonds were authentic, which they were. My father later told me that was an extremely tacky thing for them to do. My mother has said my sister will one day get that ring, and I will be given the diamond ring left to her in Mama Elva’s will, which is similar but the small diamonds wrap around the large one like a gift package. She told me Mama Elva bought the ring for herself, and it represents independence. My mother wears it on days she feels like she needs extra strength.

Both my mother and father thought they were marrying someone wealthy. Unfortunately, what neither of my parents realized is that there is a difference between marrying into a wealthy family and marrying someone wealthy. Neither of them had any money, but both had been raised amongst wealth and had acquired a taste for the lifestyle. As an engagement present to my parents, Granddaddy Scott paid off the large amount of credit card debt my mother had begun accumulating after the period when he and Caryl found out she had been lying about attending the University of Denver and they had cut her off. Plum and Papa threw them a rehearsal dinner at Glen Arven Country Club. By all accounts, it was a wonderful evening with dinner and dancing, and as a surprise during the party, and in front of everyone, my father gave my mother a beautiful aquamarine ring as an engagement gift since he had not spent money on her engagement ring. Later that night, while my father was in the kitchen at Plum and Papa’s house, talking with them about what a smashing success the party had been, they heard a knock on the back door. He went to answer it and saw Aunt Dot’s youngest child, Linton, standing there. Linton told my father that my mother was upset and wasn’t sure she wanted to go through with the wedding because my father was going to leave immediately after the wedding to go on a business trip. She said it was a sign that he would leave her later. My father then went with Linton to the Waffle House where my mother was waiting. He convinced her to go through with the wedding but told me later he wished he had seen it as a red flag for how spoiled she was and that he could have been the one himself to not go through with the wedding.

It had been my mother’s choice not to go on a honeymoon. They had originally planned an elaborate affair with an extravagant honeymoon in Somerset, Bermuda immediately following the reception, but at the last minute, because of fighting between my mother and Caryl, all the plans were changed and the wedding was cut down in size and moved to a much sooner date. My father originally had arranged to have all his groomsmen flown to Thomasville, Georgia on the Reynolds’ plane, but ended up embarrassingly having to cancel the plans with his friends and had a wedding party made up of only one, his stepfather, Papa.

Their wedding was on August 5, 1978, and only family was on the guest list (though even still, that meant a large number of people). My parents posed for pictures in Mama Elva’s yard and then got married at First United Methodist Church like Caryl and Granddaddy Scott had. After the wedding, there was a luncheon at Granddaddy Scott’s house, Gatlin Creek Farm. Gatlin Creek Farm had become his bachelor pad after his divorce from Caryl the previous year. Caryl got the house on Plantation Drive, which she promptly sold to the Chubbs and moved to Atlanta. During the many parties thrown in honor of my parent’s engagement, Granddaddy Scott would often sit next to my father’s sister, Allen. My parents soon began hearing rumors of a blossoming romance between the two of them and found the news upsetting. One night, when my parents were riding in the same vehicle as Plum and Papa on their way to an engagement party, they asked about the rumors they had heard. Plum immediately told them to mind their own business, and the subject was dropped.

On September 2, 1978, one month after my parent’s wedding, Granddaddy Scott married Allen. To their wedding, my mother wore the same white lace dress she had just worn to her own wedding. Allen moved to Gatlin Creek Farm where Granddaddy Scott was living with Robert who had just turned 18 and was about to start his senior year of high school. Robert had chosen to live with Granddaddy Scott after his parent’s divorce because he wanted to stay at Brookwood School and living with Caryl meant moving to Atlanta. Allen and Granddaddy Scott’s marriage was short and they were divorced less than two years later. No one ever told me what Granddaddy Scott did to Allen specifically, just that he had been physically abusive to his children, and that he constantly cheated on Caryl without even attempting to conceal it. I was also told that Allen physically intervened to protect Robert from Granddaddy Scott on more than one occasion, and Papa had threatened to pay a visit to Granddaddy Scott with a shotgun. After their divorce, there was an unerasable line drawn between my mother’s and my father’s side of the family.

Since the marriage took place before I was born, neither my sister nor I grew up knowing about it. I always saw both sides of my family as extremely separate which is strange since they both lived in the same small town. When we moved to Thomasville, a Brookwood teacher, Sissy Faulk, asked my sister how she felt about Allen and Granddaddy Scott’s marriage, and my sister had no idea what the teacher was talking about. When she got home from school that day, she asked my parents, and the truth came out. It’s hard for me to picture Granddaddy Scott the way people describe him in his younger years. He was a different man than the one I knew. I never saw him get mad, and I gave him plenty of reasons. He was one of my favorite people. I wish he had treated my family members better. I think my relationship with all of them would be different. If he had been nicer to my mother and her mother, maybe my mother would have turned out nicer to me. He is ultimately responsible for the bad blood between my mother’s family and my father’s family. After Granddaddy Scott’s divorce from Allen, she never remarried.

Immediately following my parent’s wedding, my mother moved to Richmond, Virginia to live with my father. They lived in a cute little yellow house they loved on Libby Avenue with their miniature poodle, Snooky. Snooky was named after one of Aunt Billie’s nicknames she had gotten while still in high school. During that time, my mother worked in an upscale consignment shop and scored lots of clothes she loved for next to nothing. People would bring in high-end pieces and she would sell them to herself for a dollar. My mother and father were close to Plum and Papa at the time, and Plum and Papa often came to visit them.

In 1980, two years after living together on Libby Avenue, Reynolds’ Metals transferred my father to Corpus Christi, Texas. While living in Corpus Christi, Dick reached out to my father after being estranged since abandoning him in his childhood. Dick had fallen on hard times, and my mother and father invited him to come visit. Dick was an alcoholic and would regularly become belligerent, spending his days walking around the house rambling to himself. His visit began looking long-term, and my mother told my father he needed to go, so my father sat Dick down to give him the news. Dick said he understood, and the next day, my father took him to get a Cadillac and a dog. Dick drove to Indian Rocks Beach, Florida with his new companion where he spent the next couple of years until he died on January 18, 1985.

After living in Corpus Christi, Texas for a short period of time, my father was transferred back to Reynolds’ Metals’ Richmond, Virginia headquarters. My parents got a place in The Fan District, which is where they lived when I was born on April 25, 1982. I have no memories from that time period besides what I’ve been told in stories and seen in photographs.

 Life is a mixture of sweet and sour. It is full of various events and experiences which all days we come across in our life are totally different. In life, people always say that time is money. However, I would said that time is more precious than money as money lost can be recovered, but not the time. There goes a proverb “Time and tide wait for no man” which has also reflected the true value of time in life. Thus, time is a wonderful thing that can bring us lot of joy and happiness, as well as creates unforgettable memory storing in our mind. Everyone has their own special time that they will never forget, so do I.

When I looked back on these days, they were probably the most special time in my life as I had been waiting so long, counting the days down on my calendar. It was my family vacation to Vietnam which definitely meant that I could spend more time bonding with my family. I still remember the thrill and suspense of waiting before the day and the excitement that I felt through my bones, causing me to toss and turn in bed all night.

In the next day, my alarm woke me up at 7 in the early morning. As I stumbled into the shower and got ready, I was dreading our awaiting trip as this was the first time for us to take a flight ourselves to Kuala Lumpur International Airport (KLIA) to meet our tour leader and made our transit flight to the final destination, Vietnam. This means that I had to help my parents to handle those important things, such as self-print baggage tag and checked baggage procedures. After settling down everything, we took the flight to KLIA and met our tour leader, Anderson. He was a charming guy with a friendly smile to everyone. After he handled all exit procedures of leaving our country, he brought all tour group members heading to the boarding gate. I slowed my pace to enjoy what was happening around me. Swarms of people walked around me and the feeling of excitement suddenly came into my mind as I knew that my awaiting trip was now happening right before me. I whispered to myself, “I will fly in the air soon.”

As I woke up from a long-deep sleep, after a three and half hour flight journey to Vietnam, we have finally reached Hanoi. By the time we walked out from the airport, I had experienced a pleasantly cool weather of impressions. A gentle, pleasant wind caressed my face and ran through my long hair, as if combing me. I could saw rags of the mist slowly passing over the street and shrouded the trees. Walking on the street, I found myself surrounded by crowds of people moving like enchanting shoals of fish. There were lots of cars and motorbikes shuttling to and fro in this busy city too. The noise of engines and honking horns, as well as those gossiping noise that came from people, blended into one muffled hum along the street. In the hustle and bustle, the way of sitting of the Vietnamese was the thing that attracted me the most. Numbers of people sat on the little stools and ate along the streets, had become a part of the culture and traditions in Vietnam. In our hotel room, we had birds’ eyes view on the beauty of the city and observed on the streets below. The whole streets were entirely packed with energy! 

Sometimes I hear from people who are very disappointed that their husbands did not accept their apologies for fraud or infidelity. Regardless of what they did or said, her husband was determined to stick to his anger and hatred.

I heard from a husband who said, ‘I made the worst mistake of my life last year, I had a class discussion that my husband could not attend, I held several meetings with him, honestly I do not know why I thought that my pride was at a low point and that person makes me feel good about myself. ‘Breaking that, I told my husband the truth: I practically fell to my feet and apologized. He has no plans to forgive me in the future, I am very happy about that, we have two little girls who will miss their father, can we continue? ‘I will try to answer these questions in the following article.

Find out why he can hesitate to forgive: I understand why you feel what you want, need, and even deserve forgiveness. But as a woman who has been deceived, I can tell you that there are many reasons why someone is hesitant to offer forgiveness.

The first is that they are not finished. I can tell you from experience that, before you are ready to forgive, you must see a lot of remorse and rehabilitation. Sometimes this requires advice and other times – no. This is certainly not always fast. And if you insist on forgiving before you feel you deserve it, it can cause dissatisfaction and tempt them to be more forgiving.

You might also feel that your forgiveness is forgiveness or that you can leave easily or in practice. Of course, your job is to show them that you are sincere enough that their doubts are unfounded. But understand that there must be some restrictions. You need to find out how much you hurt him. They must understand that they have the right to anger and their reluctance. But you may have more control than you think. Here are some things that couples often look for before offering forgiveness.

The things you want to show your husband before he feels safe and justified in forgiveness: Understand that your partner tends to look very carefully at everything you do. They want you to believe that you regret your actions. You want to know that you fully understand why you are lying and that you have identified a problem so you can be sure that you will not return. They want you to see that you have actively done everything to be credible. Nothing in your mouth is not right. Even the small white lie that should save pain is completely unacceptable. They also check whether the link can be repaired. They want to make sure that they still love and are attracted to them.

In short, they need to know that you are not just seeking forgiveness for your benefit without worrying about what you need. You have to make it clear that your first concern is, healing, and recovery. You don’t want to ask for anything before giving everything you have for yourself. In other words, you have to win forgiveness, and I have to tell you that sometimes this is not an easy task. However, if you are patient, you are especially concerned with your husband, not yourself, and make it so that you deserve forgiveness and then stay in class.

Introduction

The separation of families due to forced migration or geopolitical circumstances has been a tragic reality for countless individuals around the world. In this essay, we argue for the importance of repatriation and family reunification, emphasizing the moral and ethical imperative of bringing separated families back together. By examining the psychological, emotional, and social consequences of family separation, as well as the potential benefits of reuniting families, we can build a compelling case for prioritizing efforts to bring them home.

Humanitarian Considerations

The separation of families, whether due to conflict, migration, or other circumstances, causes immense suffering and trauma. The psychological and emotional toll on both children and parents is well-documented, with long-lasting impacts on their well-being and development. By prioritizing repatriation and family reunification, we demonstrate our commitment to upholding human rights, dignity, and the fundamental principle that families should not be torn apart.

Stability and Social Integration

Reuniting families contributes to social stability and integration, both for individuals and the broader community. Strong family bonds provide a support network and foster a sense of belonging, facilitating the integration of migrants into their new communities. By reuniting families, we enable individuals to fully contribute to society, harnessing their skills, talents, and potential. This, in turn, promotes social cohesion and inclusive development.

Trauma and Healing

Family separation often leaves lasting emotional scars, resulting in trauma and a sense of loss. Reuniting families allows for healing and the restoration of a sense of normalcy. The presence of parents or loved ones can provide emotional support, help children cope with trauma, and aid in their overall recovery. Reunification offers an opportunity for individuals to process their experiences, rebuild broken bonds, and find solace in being together once again.

Parental Rights and Child Well-being

Separating children from their parents infringes upon the fundamental right to family life and jeopardizes the well-being of both children and parents. Family is the primary source of love, care, and guidance, and it plays a critical role in shaping a child’s identity and future prospects. Reuniting families honors parental rights and safeguards the best interests of the child, ensuring they have access to the love, care, and stability necessary for healthy development.

Conclusion

Bringing separated families home is a matter of utmost importance, guided by principles of compassion, justice, and human rights. Repatriation and family reunification offer an opportunity to heal the wounds of separation, promote social integration, and prioritize the well-being of children and parents. By recognizing the moral and ethical imperative to bring them home, we take a significant step towards fostering a more humane and compassionate society, where families are kept intact, and the bonds that unite us are cherished and protected.