The increase of divorce in America has been at an alarming rate. In the recent years, the divorce rates have been increasing while the marriage rates have been declining. There have been changes in the definition of a family in the current generation.
This is quite discouraging even to the people who are not married. One wonders at the purpose of the marriage vows and the place they have in an individual’s life.
Solot admits that she did not have the enthusiasm to get married.” Perhaps it has to do with too many unhappily married people and the divorces I’ve seen, too many breezily pledged lifetime vows that lose their meaning long before the lifetimes end”(Solot, 2011, p481).
The dillusionment with marriage is quite understandable due to the high rates of divorce. Young women now prefer to cohabit rather than take the vows or walk down the aisle. In fact when several married couples are questioned they admit that they lived with their partner before they got married. Some of them even had children before they did a formal union.
The high divorce rates have caused researchers to investigate the major causes of divorce. There have also been parallel studies conducted on the causes of the decline in marriage.
A study on couples investigating causes of divorce found that couples cited infidelity as one of the major causes of divorce. In marriages where one of the partners has admitted to fidelity, it was also a very high predicting factor for divorce. When a partner is unfaithful, it mostly ends up with the marriage going to the rocks.
However, fidelity should not be construed to be the major cause of divorce. Infidelity is usually as a result of estrangement between the spouses. There is low communication and the spouses are unsatisfied in their relationship.
The couples who see the real causes and not infidelity progress faster in future relationships than the ones who do not. “Infidelity appears to play a central role in many people’s understandings of how their marriages unravel, and individuals who cite infidelity as a cause of divorce show poorer adjustment than individuals who cite other causes” (Amato, 2003)
Other reasons for divorce that were given were personality clashes and lack of communication. The partners are unable to communicate or listen to each other leading to frustration. There are other major causes of divorce such as mental cruelty, physical abuse, drug use and drinking.
The study found that women were more active than their men in identifying problems in the relationship and desiring to solve the issue. The men were generally very passive. Due to these differences in behavior between the genders, the men could not really recall or narrate what caused the divorce while the women would narrate very clearly.
Researchers have put forward that people marry when the gains from marriage exceed the gains in being single. The people marry to have children, conduct risk pooling in terms of sharing resources and to share leisure time. When individuals come together they now have access to higher levels of wealth. They can achieve so much than they would have achieved if they were alone.
The main reason people marry is not for money, however it is a great byproduct for the ones who are doing well financially.
However with advances in the market place, in terms of decrease in discrimination against women in the market place and changes in technology allowing what required skilled labor to be done by less skilled individual has made the gains in marriage seem low. Women now have financial independence and the invention of the pill caused them to limit disruption in their professional careers. This has given women the economic power to end divorce if they so wish.
In times of economic hardship, there is stress in the family with the relationship more likely to disintegrate into divorce. During the booms and recessions in the economy, researchers have found out that the divorce rates decrease and increase respectively.
Research has shown that wealth and education works towards the couples having a healthier marriage.” Marriage has declined across all income groups, but it has declined far less among couples who make the most money and have the best education. These couples are also less likely to divorce”(Harden, 2011, p 481). The wealthy tend to choose among their economic class. It is the realization of what financial strain can do to a marriage.
The well-educated partners have higher standards of relationship. They expect a substantial level or high level of emotional support, companionship and relationship fulfillment. They therefore tend to choose people from the same social class so that they are not disappointed.
Another cause of divorce has been changes in legislature removing hurdles from couples or individuals who want to divorce their partners. “In the 1950s, most states required evidence of marital fault before allowing a marriage to be dissolved.
Beginning in the late 1960s, many states introduced “irreconcilable differences” as grounds for divorce; effectively ushering in a period of unilateral divorce— divorce upon the request of either spouse, regardless of the wishes of his or her partner”(Stevenson & Wolfers, 2007) Now, partners can easily divorce their partners. There is no motivation to keep working at the marriage to ensure it succeeds.
The reasons why couples divorce are many but the main ones are communication breakdown, estrangement, financial problems, infidelity, emotional torture, physical abuse and substance abuse.
References
Amato, P. (2003) People’s Reasons For Divorcing: Gender, Social Class, The Life Course, And Adjustment. Journal of Family Issues, 24 (5), 602-626 Web.
Harden, B. (2011) “Numbers Drop For The Married-With-Children” In G.
Goshgarian, The Contemporary Reader (10th Ed.). Boston: Pearson Education, Inc.
Solot, D. (2011) “On Not Saying “I Do” In G. Goshgarian, The Contemporary Reader (10th Ed.). Boston: Pearson Education, Inc.
Stevenson, B. & Wolfers, J. (2007) Marriage and Divorce: Changes and their driving forces. Journal of Economic Perspectives, 21(2), 27–52. Web.
Studies carried out on the effects of divorce illustrate that young children in divorced families experience more problems than those in two-parent married homes. These children have adjustment problems in school; they tend to struggle with self esteem issues and tend to develop behavioral deviances.
Effects
Hetherington (1999) found that 10% of all the children in two-parent households develop serious behavioral problems. On the other hand, 34% of female children and 26% of male children in divorced families were problematic. However, one must realize that not all young children from divorced families will experience problems; these studies simply indicate that, as a group, children from divorced homes are more problematic than children in married homes.
These problems emanate from a series of situations that are unique to divorce. Children in these situations experience difficulties because of parental loss. They typically lose contact with the non-custodial parent. Minor children need the practical and emotional support that comes from both parents. When divorce takes place, children loose the skills, knowledge and resources associated with one parent.
A study carried out by Kelly and Emery (2003) found that, on average, non custodial parents tended to visit their children once a week. If this parent is male, then children have a 20% chance of never seeing that parent again, two or three years after the divorce. Contact is a crucial factor in the establishment of strong parent to child relationships; this affects a child’s ability to adjust.
Analyses illustrate that fathers who make frequent contacts with their children in a non custodial arrangement tend to minimize conflict between the child and them. These children also fare better in their social and school lives. They tend to benefit from the warmth, help, and expectation-setting that come from increased contact with the non custodial parent.
Young children in divorced families experience more problems than those in married families because of economic losses in the arrangement. When a divorce occurs, children lose the economic resources that both parents would have contributed. As a result, the custodial parent is likely to struggle with provision of certain needs.
It is a fact that earning a small income than before can lead to interruptions. Such a caregiver would have to alter schools in order to minimize expenses. He or she may need to switch to a cheaper day care or minimize weekend outings. When the changes are substantial, the child may need to alter his or her relationships, or may have to lose friends. All these alterations may cause problems.
The divorce process also leads to intense life stress among children in these situations. As explained above, children in divorced homes must make so many adjustments after the divorce such as school and relationship alterations. These stressors are quite difficult to handle, and may lead to subsequent problems in the future.
A study carried out by Crowder and Teachman (2004) revealed that young children who grew up in a single parent home with more stresses, such as frequent relocations, were more likely to become school dropouts or become pregnant in their teens. If the custodial parent goes through multiple divorces, then the child is likely to experience social problems in the future. Increased stress comes from the feeling that the child has less control over his or her life than he had before the divorce.
Furthermore, if parents do not talk to their children prior to or during the divorce about the causes of the divorce, then children become more stressed. Some parents may talk to their children about the divorce but may not listen to their opinion. In this regard, children may still feel frustrated about the situation. Painful memories of all the changes that they underwent during the divorce may haunt them. This implies that divorce is indeed a distressful and painful period for young children.
Parents also play a significant role with regard to children’s health. The custodial parent’s mental health affects most children tremendously. If a custodial parent has adjustment issues, then this may affect the child’s well-being in a negative way. Furthermore, parental competence issues are a crucial contributor to the level of failure or success in divorced families. Parental practices tend to reduce immediately after a divorce.
This usually leads to some problems encountered by children in later life. Besides this, parents in single parent homes tend to expose their children to fewer child rearing skills. Sometimes, the capable parent may lose custody of a child in a divorce, and this may be detrimental to the child’s well being.
One of the most profound difficulties that children experience after divorce is the conflict between their parents. Tensions and conflicts are frequent between divorced parents. If these are intense and occur frequently, then children tend to report more complications in the future.
Types of problems manifested by children of divorced families
Children react differently to divorce depending on: the child’s developmental stage, the parent’s ability to meet the child’s needs, the prevalence and duration of conflict between the parents, and the relationship quality between a child and his parents prior to the divorce. If parents can deal with the above challenges positively, then a child is less likely to exhibit behavioral and developmental challenges later.
One of the common reactions among children after divorce is denial. This is likely to occur if the children are slightly younger. Some of them may make up stories in order to cover up the divorce.
They might reconcile their tensions with fantasies. For instance, some of them may assert that their parents will take them to Disneyland even when minimal contact exists between the children and their two parents. Conversely, some of them may talk about the non custodial parent’s move next door.
All these stories are attempts at resisting this painful separation from both parents. In older children, milder fantasies are likely to occur. For instance, many of them may be preoccupied with reconciliation. They may console themselves that their parents are going to get back together even when this is unlikely to occur (Temke, 2006).
Other children develop a fear of abandonment. After a separation, children start worrying about their future and the person who will care over them. Some of them may think that a divorce can also occur between parents and children and that their parents will also leave them. Such fears tend to increase when the custodial parent badmouths the other parent.
For instance, if the custodial parent says ‘Daddy is leaving you and me’, then the child may feel quite vulnerable to abandonment. Children manifest these insecurities through the use of words that demonstrate a need for greater protection.
Other children may exhibit excessive anger and hostility. Following the tensions and stresses that stem from the divorce, some children may use hostility to diffuse these stresses.
They may react negatively to their parents, schoolmates and siblings, if they have any. Most of the time, children may express anger towards the parent who they think is the source of the divorce. They can even get angrier when the custodial parent starts dating again. In divorce scenarios, children may triangulate. The latter term refers to rejection of the non custodial parent.
Alternatively, they may have divided loyalties when they try to satisfy both parents. Besides anger, children may also develop depression. Some of them may experience social withdrawal. Here, they may stop playing sports, going out or interacting with friends. Alternatively, others may start injuring themselves. Issues such as cutting are especially common among female adolescents. One may also detect depression in these children through loss of sleep, poor eating habits such as excessive or minimal feeding, and weariness.
In younger children, immaturity or rapid maturity is common. Some children react to divorce by trying to go back to the times when everything was okay. They may wet their beds or engage in baby talk as an attempt to look for security. Conversely, some children may grow up too fast. They may take charge and even presume the role of the other parent who left. This is an attempt to meet the needs of the custodial parent.
Guilt and blame are also quite common. Children sometimes feel responsible over the divorce. This may occur when parents fight over the children’s custodial arrangements or visiting schedules. Some of them may promise their parents exemplary behavior if they reconcile.
Conclusion
Children in divorced families report more behavioural and psychological issues. The problems emanate from economical difficulties, poor parental competence, inter parental conflict, minimal parental contact with the non custodial caregiver and life stresses. These issues may result in anger, immaturity or rapid maturity, excessive anger, abandonment and denial. Parents must try to assist their children in dealing with these issues by maintaining high quality relationships with them and minimising conflict between themselves.
References
Crowder, K. & Teachman, J. (2004). Do residential conditions explain the relationship between living arrangements and adolescent behaviour? Marriage and Family Journal, 66(11), 721-738
Hetherington, E. (1993). An overview of the Virginian longitudinal study of divorce and remarriage with a focus on the early adolescent. Family Psychology Journal, 7(4), 39-56
Kelly, J. & Emery, R. (2003). Children’s adjustment following divorce: risk and resiliency perspectives. Family Relations, 52, 352-362
Temke, M. (2006). The effects of divorce on children. University of New Hampshire Cooperative Extension Report, May 2006
Also known by his colleagues as Jack, Lewis Staples, the author of ‘The Great Divorce’ was born in Belfast in 1898. During his lifetime, he was one of the most influential Christian writers of the 20th century. He wrote more than 70 types of works, which ranged from poetry, science fiction, Christian apologetics, and fantasy amongst others.
He was educated at his home in Britain. When his mother died, he was left with his brother Warren. He studied English and philosophy at the Oxford University (Staples 21).
He also served in military. Upon joining the faculty of Cambridge University as a literature professor, he married his long time fiancée Joy Gresham who later succumbed to cancer in 1960 while Lewis died in 1963 at Headington, Oxford, after experiencing a heart problem.
His legacy in writing is well shared and known across the world. He was a prolific author who wrote fiction. ‘The Great Divorce’ was published in 1946 (Staples 21).
His interest in spiritual choices played a pivotal role in his writing of the book. He was motivated to write about the spirits after he read ‘Seventeenth Century’ written by Taylor Jeremy, an Anglican divine servant of God. The book introduced him to the ancient catholic notion of refrigerium.
A Summary of the Main Points or Themes
Intrigues on Heaven and Earth
The book is premised on the intrigues on heaven and earth. There are various contradictions among the question of heaven and hell. More often, people have pondered and sought answers whether it is indeed true that heaven and hell exist. The imagination and thinking of Christians are different from what the atheists’ society thinks about God in heaven and the torment in hell.
Coming from a Christian background, Lewis provides further insights on the way people feel about heaven and hell. The book begins with the narrator who boards a bus driven by a man they could not identify. “The man seemed full of light” (Staples Para. 3). The bus was driven through a visionary world on top of a mountain believed to be heaven.
Experiences in heaven are different. Every thing seemed solid, which makes it difficult for them (ghosts) to persevere and have a feeling of going back to the grey town. The narrator is the ghost who meets the spirit, which, upon repenting, enjoys the blossoms of heaven. The author presents various episodes in his allegory to portray different themes in the book.
Salvation
Salvation is one of the themes that the author highlights in the book. Salvation is the path that leads people’s immortal souls to heaven. People who abide by the correct moral choices in life together with those who forgive their colleagues while at the same time seeking forgiveness of their own sins are guaranteed to see the door of heaven.
The author depicts this case when the aforementioned people meet the spirits. The narrator is the ghost who encounters a spirit that used to be a sinner but one that repented its sins to secure forgiveness. The narrator wonders why he was taken to hell after doing what is right. In fact, he “never asked for anything that was not his based on rights (Staples 25). However, the opportunity is still open for the narrator to get salvation by repenting his sins.
The spirit says, “You were not a decent man and you did not do your best…We none of us were and we none of us did…Lord bless you, it doesn’t matter” (Staples 27). The author is contended that heaven and hell are real places. Therefore, people should make a decision of where they want to go. The decision solely rests on the people either to choose what is right or wrong. Wrong choices will deny a person an opportunity to see the doors of heaven.
In fact, the author confirms how choosing what is right secures one the riches of heaven. However, making poor choices by ignoring repentance besides refusing salvation has the repercussion of facing hell. The entire book is centered on salvation, as the author examines it through related themes that have an impact on salvation such as love in all its guises, pride/vanity, faith vs. cynicism, values of ideologies, forgiveness, and anger.
Self-interest
Clinging on self-interest is deterrence to many. Many people make wrongful choices because they have refused to relinquish their self-interest. For instance, ghosts are often told that they need to relinquish self-interest to enter heaven. However, they have remained adamant.
Pride that is manifested through physical appearances and or any form that is visualized, artistic, or intellectual is deeply entrenched in them to deny them an opportunity to see heaven. Lewis points his recounts with people who have tied their identities to pride. For instance, women have put more emphasis on their physical attractiveness in the way they are clothed. Such things have impeded many people from seeing the light and hence the failure to get an opportunity to enter heaven.
Love
Love is also handled in the book. The author’s way of handling love is a bit complex. Embracing true and pure godly love is viewed as the ticket for entering the kingdom of heaven. However, the same love brings many temptations, which hinder people from achieving salvation.
Love is the cause of evils. People will do blackmailing besides sabotaging the initiatives of others in a bid to achieve happiness and fame. Therefore, it is imperative that people demonstrate love towards their fellow human beings besides having a spiritual love of God, which stands out as the only way to see the kingdom of God.
Ideologies
The book was written at the time when national ideologies were at rift. These rifts caused a lot of harm and problems to millions of people. The ideology on capitalism and communism made countries drift apart. For instance, a relationship between Russia communist state and that of Germany, which was a capitalist, was not good (Watson 163).
Therefore, through the book, Lewis echoes popular criticisms on both countries’ ideologies contending that people’s spiritual pursuits and moral choices are above the pursuit of individual, communal, or wealthy prosperity.
Faith and cynicism
Another theme portrayed in the book is faith and cynicism. The author uses himself in reinforcing the already public formed opinions about hell and heaven. Heaven is associated with right and happiness while hell is associated with torment. Therefore, by being faithful and believing in the unseen things/spirits, people will have an upper hand in going to heaven.
They have been revealed and even seen evidenced about heaven and hell. However, this does not reduce their cynical nature. Therefore, they have been left to make their choices to have faith in what they hear and see or risk peril.
Jealousy and resentment
Lewis also depicts how people are jealous and full of resent to those above them. The ghosts are selfish and full of envy. For instance, in the book, ghosts are jealous about the magnificent look of angels demonstrated in their way of dressing and status. The ghosts resent their trait of not being angels.
They feel that it is their right to be like them. This exposition is manifested through their conversation. For instance, when told by the angels about their various faults and sins, they dislike this since they feel that the angels are overbearing. Therefore, Lewis is contending that failure to relinquish or sacrifice this resentment for love is a hindrance to enter heaven.
Forgiveness
Forgiveness is one of the major themes that are portrayed by Lewis in the book. At every conversation between the ghosts and angels, the ghosts cling on their self-interest. They refuse to repent their sins and return to the light (Raiger 109). Even though the opportunity for absolution of their sins is presented to them, they just cannot accept.
They however cling to their egoistic and obsessive traits, a case that is likened to human beings. In various occasions, people find it difficult to relinquish their deeds for fear of losing things that they deem important and central to their lives even if such things are destructive. The fact that there is an opportunity to reshape their lives, people are still stiff and not ready to adjust and seek forgiveness.
Evaluation of the book’s usefulness
Lewis book is a depiction or rather an allegory of what the heaven and hell are like. Human beings have different perceptions about heaven and hell. The Christian ideologies contend that there is life after death. Those who do what is right usually enter heaven while those who do what is wrong enter hell. Lewis’ book is of great importance to people in terms of their actions in the society. The author uses ghosts and angels to speak about the choices that people make in their lives.
Choosing the path of right or wrong is the discretion of an individual. The book also aims at teaching people about salvation and the need to have faith. In the day-to-day interactions, people are always facing various challenges that may hinder them from entering the kingdom of Heaven.
Therefore, the book is an encouragement to the Christian faithful not to give up the fight. The journey has many challenges that may make them give up the fight. The barriers that may hinder them from entering the kingdom include failure to show love, failure to forgive, being so proud, and jealousy among other behaviors that are perceived to be against the will of God. Society sometimes is torn between parts.
The ideologies that people have are different thus affecting the way they live with each other. They cause distractions that otherwise would have been avoided. The book is written in line with the historical happenings during the 20th century. People should be guided by moral values that aim at upholding to unity.
Likewise, states and governments should pursue spiritual liberation. However, the approach that Lewis took is biased in some way. He did not factor in the concerns of the atheists. People who do not believe in the existence of heaven and life after death may not agree with the idea postulated by Lewis. It is aligned towards the lives of believers and nonbelievers. The Christian faithful people are depicted as kind-hearted, noble, honest, and selfless.
On the other hand, nonbelievers are portrayed as people that are selfish, evil, and insincere. This portrayal of the two groups of people may elicit animosity and hatred among people in the society. For instance, the atheists, having been depicted negatively, may have a bad relationship with their Christian faithful. Therefore, instead of cementing the positive coexistence, the author was in a way widening the relationships between the two.
However, regardless of the author’s inclination about hell and heaven, he reveals the pleasant fantasies that people will continue to ponder upon reading the masterwork. The biblical views about the coming of savior are perceived differently by embers of the society. Questions arise when Lewis contends that no punishment is in hell.
This therefore may have implied that the moral deeds of people could not be anything that matters. The basis of this argument is that God may not create human beings and at the same time require them to suffer. Nevertheless, the author presents this imagination as an allegory that should not be taken as literary.
Conclusion
Therefore, through the book, the author has spoken to many people who may have lost hope. His allegory and dream story are clear indications of what the bible says. The right choices will lead people into the right direction, which is heaven while the wrong decisions will lead them to hell. Therefore, for any person who has heaven as his/her destiny ought to have an added advantage upon reading the fascinating masterwork.
Works Cited
Raiger, Michael. “The Place of the Self in C. S. Lewis’s ‘The Great Divorce’.” Logos: A Journal of Catholic Thought & Culture 13.2(2010): 109-131. Print.
Staples, Lewis. The Great Divorce. New York: Macmillan Co., 1946. Print.
Staples, Lewis. Foundation: Chronology of the life of C.S., 2009. Web.
Watson, Thomas. “Enlarging Augustinian systems: C.S. Lewis‘ The Great Divorce and Till We Have Faces.” Renascence 46.3(1994): 163-164. Print.
Divorce refers to the legal ending of a marriage. Although it is taken as a legal action, divorce nonetheless has a big impact on the psychological, social, financial and often times physical aspects of the married partners and their family (Neuman and Romanowski, 1999).
Divorce has different effects on the individuals divorcing and children. For some it may take years to deal with a divorce while for others, it may take more time. This is especially in circumstances when people did not deal well with the divorce and the issues remain unresolved (Neuman and Romanowski, 1999).
How divorce starts
A divorce starts when one married partner files the legal paperwork requesting divorce in a court of law (Clark-Stewart and Brentano, 2007). This initiates the divorce proceedings. Both partners can file at the same time. The partner then gives grounds that would allow them to get the divorce. If the court approves then the divorce can proceedings can continue until the divorce is finalized. Divorces can be lengthy, costly and complex and that is why people often hire lawyers to conduct them for the divorcing partners.
Reasons for divorce
There are various reasons as to why people divorce. One of the causes of divorce is unfaithfulness. According to Clark-Stewart and Brentano (2007), unfaithfulness has been one of the reasons why people divorce even pre-Christian era. In modern society though there have been more reasons coming up. Another reason for divorce is cruelty (Clark-Stewart and Brentano, 2007). This includes physical and emotional cruelty. This is considered to often have permanent damage on marital relations.
Another reason cited for divorce is incompatibility. According to Clark-Stewart and Brentano (2007), many married couples cite incompatibility as the reason for divorce when they realize that they are on different levels and no longer have a common ground. In the modern times, socialist some up divorce as largely due to people making the wrong choices in marriage (Clark-Stewart and Brentano, 2007). As a result, divorce rates have increased.
People also divorce because of stress. The stresses of life take a toll on people and they are not equipped to handle it. As a result people feel that they can not cope with marriage demands, children in addition to other demands made on them (Clark-Stewart and Brentano, 2007). consequently, divorces have become more rampant.
Proneness to divorce
There are multiple factors that can contribute to making some people more prone to divorce. One of the factors is sociocultural settings. People who grow up with interchangeable roles in the family are likely to get divorced as they have a ‘sufficiency’ approach to life (Clark-Stewart and Brentano, 2007). Family roles in the modern society have changed and as economic and social changes evolve, people who have moved past traditional functions of marriage are finding it increasingly easier to divorce (Clark-Stewart and Brentano, 2007).
Another factor is that people from divorced families are more likely to divorce than those who do not come from divorced families. According to Clark-Stewart and Brentano (2007), divorces in families increase the rates of divorce and sometimes the children from those families when compared to other families.
Other factors are demographics for example age of marriage, backgrounds and religion. People who are religious have fewer rates of divorce (Clark-Stewart and Brentano, 2007). Those who marry young have higher rates of divorce as well.
Other factors that increase proneness to divorce include communication in marriage and lack of communication skills. People with poor communication skills have greater chances of divorce. This is because communication is key during marriage. If partners are not able to communicate, their needs will go unmet.
Due to modern lifestyles where people are too busy and dedicated to their work putting in many hours, time away from the family greatly erodes communication since people do not even spend adequate time together (Clark-Stewart and Brentano, 2007).
Effect of divorce on children
According to Temke (2006), divorce has a wide range of effect on children. The effects are usually seen in age groups and mostly depend on what the children are able to understand of the divorce. For children younger than two years, divorce does not seem to upset their life, unless the child had a very close relationship with the child and ceases to be present in the child’s life (Temke, 2006). For toddlers the most common effect on the child is an upset stomach and loss of appetite (Temke, 2006).
For children between 3 to 5 years, the common effect is that they feel guilty and feel that if they had been good their parents, especially if one leaves the home, would not have left. According to Temke (2006), they also show fear of abandonment and regress to baby like behavior like bed-wetting and desire to have toys. Though they desire companionship of adults, they may still rebel, show aggression or become disobedient (Temke, 2006).
For school going children at elementary level, the effects are even more profound according to psychologists (Temke, 2006). This is because the children are old enough to experience the pain of the divorce without ample means to deal with the pain (Temke, 2006). The common effects are feelings of acute anger, resentment and embarrassment. In addition they feel their loyalty has to be divided and grief at the situation (Temke, 2006).
According to Temke (2006), some of the effects of divorce on teenagers are feelings of anger, guilt, depression and loneliness. They may also experience fear and feel they have to play more adult role around the home. They may experience self-doubt due to what they may perceive as their parent’s failure and fear marriage. Because they can understand, they often feel pressure to assign blame to one parent as responsible for divorce.
Coping with divorce for children
For children coping with the divorce largely depends on the relationship that parents foster and help they give to the children. One of the best ways of ensuring the children cope well with the divorce is to explain to them what is going on (Temke, 2006; Neuman and Romanowski, 1999). This allows them to have trust in the parents and also builds a firmer foundation for parent-child relationship. They also have an opportunity to ask questions and their fears and concerns can be allied especially concern for their future.
Another strategy to help children cope with divorce would be for parents to be as amicable as possible (Neuman and Romanowski, 1999). Tension, hostilities and conflict are negative for the child’s wellbeing. Additionally parents should offer children reassurance, support and love while maintaining discipline. The more parents make the transition smooth, the more children will feel secure, well taken care of with a sense of worth and esteem (Temke, 2006).
Another strategy for helping children cope is continuous involvement in the daily activities of the children (Temke, 2006). Although distance when parents are living apart may not favor one parent, it is important to keep close communication with the children and be involved in their school and social life.
This helps to assure children and help them feel loves. Keeping close contact will also help parents gauge the progress f the children so that they can address any issues in a timely manner (Neuman and Romanowski, 1999). This is especially important when joint living is not possible.
Parents can also limit the amount of changes that occur in the children’s life so that they do not have much to deal with (Neuman and Romanowski, 1999). As children may be hopeful that the parents will get together, parents should be careful not to get their hopes up. According to Temke (2006), by keeping communication open, the parents can stay open to the children’s questions and help the children to realize the finality of divorce. In this way, they avoid future heartaches for the children.
In case the children have a particularly hard time with the divorce parents can help them get professional help in counseling or therapeutic activities that will help them deal with the divorce (Neuman and Romanowski, 1999).
In the meantime they should be understanding of the children and patient when their behavior changes for the worse. However they should maintain discipline and create boundaries for the children. This is because the children need to deal with the divorce no matter how painful it is, if they are to have a healthy future.
Coping with divorce for the divorcing partners
For the individuals getting a divorce one of the best ways of coping with the divorce is trying to get as much support as possible. This is especially helpful during stressful moments. Friends and relatives can help to stay focused and deal with the emotional pressures of divorce. They can also offer advice and guide one towards acceptance of the divorce and moving on.
Another way to help coping is by creating priorities so that life does not stagnate. Rather, the divorce can be a new opportunity in life to develop other meaningful relationships, concentrate on work or on the self. Getting involved in activities, trying out new things and improving the self can be healthy and energizing while taking the mind off difficulties of the divorce for a better future.
If there is need, counseling can be undertaken. This can help one to understand and deal with their feelings. Additionally they can acquire new skills and ways of dealing with stress and pressures in healthy ways. According to Temke (2006), counseling is also helpful in helping to chart a new life when a divorced person needs assistance to deal with their new condition.
Conclusion
Divorce continues to have impact on the family even as psychologists and sociologists try to study its effects in society. While divorce may be undesirable it is a reality that needs to be dealt with so that it leaves behind as few negative effects as possible. Divorce has a great impact on children and unless measures are taken by parents and communities to mitigate them, children may end up with disrupted lives and possibly long lasting problems in their adult life.
References
Clark-Stewart, A. and Brentano, C. (2007). Divorce: causes and consequences (Current perspectives in psychology). New York: Yale University Press.
Neuman, G. and Romanowski, P. (1999). Helping your kids cope with divorce the sand castles way. New York: Random House.
Temke, M. W. (2006). The effects of divorce on children. Web.
Most exegetical studies offer discussions on divorce, marriage, and other rights of passage. The passage is a complicated topic that contains thoughts and expressions that are hard to comprehend. The topic is a constant problem in real life and has other passages showing similar relationship. In fact, there are personal debates on marriage and divorce given that there is no absolute topic in any biblical episode.
Therefore, in order to harmonize this topic with other passages, it becomes important to associate them to get a complete teaching. The passage is essential given that Jesus set all truths underlying marriage and divorce in his teachings (Dobson 1986, 39).
Throughout the development of these contexts, it is imperative to consider the essential practical points revealed by this chapter. That is, what God deliberated to humanity through creation is an ideal part to be considered.
The production of Godly seed forms the union between men and women who are bound to live for a long time. Anything falling away from this is considered substandard in the face of God. Moreover, it is a transgression to fail to do things according to the Lord’s desires and failing to gauge His values.
The blessings and endorsement of God did not come with the permission of divorce (Wilson 1952, 11). As a result, prior to making decisions on how to walk with God after divorce, an individual must seek for the Lord’s remedial and restitution.
Initiating a second marriage before sorting out and dealing with the causes of divorce was an imprudent act. In general, the issues surrounding divorce and the ideals in marriage set in God’s will are the most important aspects to be discussed in this essay.
Context
According to the Bible, there are various teachings regarding marriage and divorce. However, there is lack of clarity in the practical aim intended to handle the issues of divorce and the ideals proposed by God (Shaner 1969, 49).
Given the disputes emerging in the biblical scripts concerning divorce and marriage, this exegetical study examines the interpretation of marriage as a holy arrangement, whether divorce is permitted or not, and the celibacy question.
With respect to marriage as a holy arrangement, the study examines whether there are legal grounds for divorce or not. That is, whether or not the divine will tolerates divorce. Lastly, the study examines the celibacy issue concerning marriage as well as whether celibacy could be espoused by anyone.
Meaning
Jesus taught lessons on marriage and divorce in response to the problems that surrounded these passages. Primarily, the Pharisees raised questions in relation to divorce before Jesus offered his teachings. The suspension of marriage as an alternative was no longer an insertion by Lord according to Jesus teachings.
Similarly, divorce is an evil act when the question about Moses allowing people to divorce is substantiated. However, it was just permitted due to sins that frequently occurred in marriages. Thus, a measure of grace is a requirement for individuals who intend to re-marry after marriage break up.
Divorce permissibility
From Mathew 19: 7-9, is it true that divorce is permissible? The responses offered to the Pharisees regarding divorce were never satisfactory. The Pharisees went ahead to inquire from Jesus the reasons why Moses authorized divorce despite going against the Lord’s desires on divorce and marriage. In fact, the scriptures claim that Moses authorized men to send their wives away after serving them with divorce bills.
Despite basing their arguments on this premise, it comes out clear that Moses only authorized divorce based on the indecency acts but hardly commanded married couples to divorce as stated in Deuteronomy 24:1. According to Moses, a woman should not go back to the first divorced husband in case she fails to find favor she looked for in the second partner.
Thus, Deuteronomy refutes and helps in making rules governing remarrying and divorcing the first marital partner. That is, remarrying and divorcing were accepted although they were hardly authorized. Based on the scriptures, the devotees would always permit divorce provided the devised strategies for restoring marriages failed to work (Adams 1980, 24).
In Mark 10:2-9 and Mathew 19:8-9, Jesus taught that the acts of divorcing a marital partner hardly reflected the initial plans meant for all creations but symbolized how individual hearts were rigid. Hence, Moses tolerated separation given that it was perceived to be better compared to immoral lewdness.
While divorcing was permitted, it hardly specified whether the partner who divorced the responsible couple had committed a transgression. Mathew thus asserts that God hardly proclaimed divorce as a decent alternative in ruining marriages. It only signifies how humanity refused to obey God by taking hard lines in their hearts hence a proof of the prevailing sins.
Marriages could be dissolved based on the indecent actions (Aloysius 1972, 287). In Deuteronomy 22:22, indecency did not symbolize adultery since such acts were punishable by death. In most cases, marriage could be destructed by adultery in case a married partner engages in sexual contact with a person in a different marital association.
This implies that even if those who commit adultery are killed the ruling cannot give unusual legislation regarding this case. At this point divorcing a marital partner appears as an acceptable action applied when an act of indecency emerges in marriage. Thus, marriage would be rendered naked as a result of the coarse and dishonest actions, which mock marriage as an institution.
Jesus summarized that divorce ought not to be commanded except when infidelity becomes apparent in a marriage. According to Jesus, divorce should be authorized provided a marriage is exposed to dishonest and lewd action including open indecency, homosexuality, and prostitution or fornication. Therefore, Jesus made the decisions offered by Moses to be very specific.
For instance, Jesus agreed that when human hearts become hard then divorcing a marital partner should be permitted. Jesus however affirmed that divorce should just be approved on sexual sins grounds. That is, when a marriage partner is hardly anxious about the preservation of matrimonial sanctity and opts for a vicious lifestyle or conduct then divorce should be granted.
Since God planned marital affairs to be based on sexual accord, there is no agreement when sexual promiscuities become apparent. This may hardly justify divorcing based on how the partners decide to solve the problem.
The consent to divorce in these situations appeared to conform to the Lord’s desires of ensuring that marital affairs remain unadulterated. Divorcing a marital partner was a minor option when confronted with such problems.
From the above biblical assertions, Jesus appeared to be clear in the answers he gave concerning divorce. Initially, Jesus said that there was no permission to divorce when the divorcing foundations accrue afar what the laws tolerate including divorcing due to marital sexual breach. Similar to Moses, Jesus authorized divorcing provided either party shows indecent or dishonest behaviors, which ridicule their marriage.
This implied that divorce was acceptable provided the repentance chances were not present. Irrespective of the grounds, God’s desire might not be fulfilled given that the offended partner must bear such failures prior to getting another marriage partner from God (Boecker 1980, 58).
Jesus asserted that the consequences of divorce could be stern. Any person who divorced a husband or a female partner and resorted to marrying a different person is committing infidelity. Given that indecency has taken place, marriage could be dissolved by the legal divorce grounds.
Second, if other grounds for divorcing are present, then sexual unification in such remarrying should be considered as a form of indecency that could be destroying the marriage plans instituted by the Almighty.
The celibacy issue
Jesus came very close to Shammai teachings although he had to restrict judgments as to whoever must lawfully remarry. According to Jesus responses, the disciples concluded that it was good if somebody did not marry whatsoever the case.
The perception of the disciples indicates that they wished that matrimonial arrangement would be more attractive if it were easier to disband. Jesus highlighted to the disciples that not everybody would positively receive the idea of celibacy with the exception of those whose celibacy had been divinely given.
He was talking about the eunuchs who were born in celibacy and those who deliberately embraced the practice for God’s kingdom. According to Paul (1Corinthians 7:7-9), celibacy is nine plus commendable for the interest of the kingdom.
He implies that one should marry instead of burning in passion. Jesus did not view celibacy as a better condition than marriage. Celibacy according to Jesus is a divine calling to meet the diverse objectives in the kingdom (Isaksson 2010, 28).
Marriage as a heavenly plan (Mathew 19:3-6)
The divine plan for marriage, the permission to divorce, and the issue of celibacy can be interpreted to help in understanding the passage of marriage and divorce. From the scriptures, the Pharisees were inquisitive and asked Jesus whether married couple could divorce at any cost. The general question regarded the legality of divorce in God’s kingdoms.
The expression reflects Judaism as the most imperative discussion on separation amid the devotees and the renowned instructors such as Shammai in addition to Hillel. In similar biblical verses, the diverse grounds offered by educators and scholars derived from the sermons saw each of these schools of thoughts accepting separation. Under certain grounds, divorce was permissible as seen in Deuteronomy 24:1.
On the other hand, divorce is an expression showing the nudity of any creature according to Hebrews. Divorce was simply for indecency following the emphasis of Shammai and his apprentices on the subject of nakedness. Generally, nakedness might mean several things thus no agreement became apparent regarding the meaning of indecency.
Indecency submitted to whichever demeanor in an individual’s way of life that is lewd, profane and that can mess up marriage. The penalty of this was no longer divorce but rather death since it was not an adultery or infidelity. So long as divorce never matched up to the rules of the marital conduct, Shammai permitted re-marriage.
In contrary, more compassionate viewpoint by Hillel and his group on any individual who considered divorce was evident. They focused and reasoned based on the expression “thing” and supposed whatever thing could make divorce to exist. In as much as they had restrictions, they permitted separation under several grounds.
For several years without any decision reached, the Pharisees had debated on the issue of marriage and divorce and thus found it ideal for testing Christ. Therefore, the ambiance of the arguments proffered by the Pharisees explained every ground why marital partners would want to be separated. A number of teachers undoubtedly permitted the split-up of marriages for more or less of the underlying principle.
It is true according to the biblical verses that divorce appears to be beyond the accord offered by the heavenly desires. The sexual misdemeanors resulted into Jesus restricting divorce. However, his solution towards divorce does not match both the stern view of Shammai and the slack Hillel’s elucidations. The agreement between marital partners in any marriage marks the restoration of the conception of the Lord’s plan.
In making his case clearer, Jesus used Genesis 1:17 to ascertain that marriage was an implication from God to unite a man and a woman. Furthermore, he reminds every individual that a man and a woman would be one flesh under the same marriage (Genesis 2:24).
Flesh according to the righteous channels in the olden biblical books never implied bodily unification alone, but also included a life merger including bodily doings, devices, aspirations, thoughts, and wishes. Marriage is God’s will according to the conclusion made by Jesus in this context. Divorce therefore is an uprising sin given that it splits what God has united as it goes in the opposite direction to the plans of God.
When discussing divorce it is hard to misplace the set down values used by Jesus during His teachings. The harmonization of a woman and a man as a flesh is Lord ordained. Hence, the original matrimony becomes consecrated. In addition, it is difficult to delineate marriage in terms of the union conditions and agreements made by the couples’ since marriage has a foundation in God’s creation.
Many individuals fall out that marriage lawfully split ends once the terms of harmony break up owing to the fact that marriage is a covenant. Certainly, if marriage contravenes the will of Lord it might break up and lead to divorce. It is of great essence as a teaching in this passage to distinguish marriage as it appears in real world. That is, the arrangement of God to bring together a woman and man as one flesh.
Equally, we must make out divorce as it is since it is not an infringement of the harmony between a man and a woman but a failure of the couple to accomplish God’s will and a rebellion not in favor of marriage.
Significance
Any exegetical analysis is unfinished if it does not tackle the contemporary importance of the passage. It is imperative to decipher the differences that the passage makes. In considering the significance of the passage under this study, we consider the theological and practicality of the passage. Some contemporary Bible editions interpret “except for fornication” in Matthew as “except for matrimonial unfaithfulness”.
By stating that Jesus allowed divorce for matrimonial unfaithfulness, it is important to consider Matthew 5: 28. Matthew stated that whoever looks at a woman with lust has committed adultery with her”. Such a sin may be viewed as basis for divorce since Jesus termed it as adultery, which is the equivalent of matrimonial unfaithfulness. Jesus did not intend to condone divorce on grounds of matrimonial unfaithfulness.
The content indicates that Jesus was tipping on a higher aspect of viewing the heart of man. This includes defying anger, conceit, sexual desire and abhorrence that resulted in forsaking marriage agreement (Unger 1957, 15).
Jesus was inviting man to be mature and wholly in Him irrespective of the circumstances that we may encounter in life. As He stated in verse 32, the higher perspective includes matrimonial settings. In other words, He was condemning matrimonial annulment as an alternative.
In practicality, marriage is the creative action of God. Man cannot amend that action. However, it is evident that man has attempted to perceive the idea that he is the autonomous judge and leader of marriage.
This is illustrated by the Pharisees questioning of Jesus regarding whether or not it could be legitimate for marital partners to break up founded on ground. Although the query was intended to test Jesus’ knowledge of the Law of Moses, it generated the issue of marriage. Jesus saw the practicality in the subject. He told the Pharisees that what God has put together no man should separate.
While addressing the Pharisees, Jesus accused them for attempting to justify themselves in the eyes of man rather than in the eyes of God. He reminds Christians that marriage stipulates that remarriage is a matrimonial unfaithfulness (Chase 1921, 9).
In the modern society, there is an increasing acceptance of the view of matrimonial covenant as a social contract as opposed to a sacred covenant. Old principles appear to be constantly defied in all Christian settings. As a result, many Christians are mystified particularly in the sphere of divorce and remarriage.
Apparently, teachers and ministers contribute to the existing confusion through the contradictory construing of the fundamental Biblical passages. A majority of the writers interpret the passages in the context of their experiences as opposed to what the Bible actually states about divorce and remarriage (Clayton 2004, 1). While marriage is ordained, divorce is not. Divorce is a representation of man’s rejection of God’s original plan.
According to Jesus, “It was not so from the start”. Divorce emerged as man ‘hardness’ that Moses allowed it (Matthew 19:8). Allowing such actions could hardly be equated to establishing them. The Bible did not create divorce but provisions were made to avoid the abuse of the same since it already existed.
Conclusion
There are diverse passages in the Bible on divorce and remarriage. In order to build up an inclusive philosophy, it would be important to revise and compare the current course with different assertions. However, the main issues that cannot be set aside include the fact that marriage was a creation of God. What God has placed together no man should separate. The Law of Moses allowed for divorce and remarriage under specific conditions. The interpretation offered by Jesus did not change this.
The matrimonial unfaithfulness was a basis for divorce. However, God did not ordain divorce. In essence, divorce was a human act that destroyed God’s original plan for marriage.
Even in the present day, divorce is a violation of God’s plan irrespective of how one may justify it. In fact, it is the lesser of the two sins. According to Biblical traditions, celibacy could be assumed as an award from the Almighty. Those with the gift may remain unmarried and dedicate all the effort to the Kingdom of God.
Bibliography
Adams, Jeremy, Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage (Phillipsburg, N.J: Presbyterian and Reformed Publishing Company, 1980), 1-90.
Ambrozic Aloysius, “Indissolubility of Marriage in the N.T. Law or Ideal?” Studia Canonica 6, no. 1(May 1972): 285-292.
Boecker, Jochen, Law and the Administration of Justice in the Old Testament and Ancient East (Minnesota, NJ: Augsburg Press, 1980), 1-224.
Chase, Frederic, What Did Christ Teach About Divorce? (New York: NY: Society for Promoting Christian Knowledge, 1921), 1-64.
Clayton, John. “The Need for Understanding Biblical Cultures.” Theological Blog, May 14, 2004. Web.
Dobson, Edward, What the Bible Really Teaches About Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage (Old Tappan, N.J: Revell Press, 1986), 1-90.
Abel Isaksson, “Marriage and Ministry,” Bible Review 2, no. 2 (January 2010): 27-30.
Shaner, Donald, A Christian View of Divorce (Brill, E.J: Leiden Press, 1969), 1-9.
Variably from the various scriptures studied, it is very evident that there is a direct link between sexual immorality and marriage. Strangely, the immorality depicted in the Corinthian church was of high degree “a kind that does not occur even among the pagans; A man has his father’s wife and is proud of it!” (1cor 5:1). The recommendation that Paul gives is the expulsion of search an individual. The expulsion remedy was supposed to act as a stop-gap measure against the spread of the vice to the rest of the church, symbolically depicted as yeast would spread through the whole dough.
However as compared to Corinthians chapter 7, Paul thinks that marriage is most likely a panacea to the prevalent sexual immorality. It is therefore quite likely that immorality was a daily occurrence because the Christians, in this case, we’re unable to control themselves in any way. Paul could control himself thus did not see the need to marry.
Paul at the same time is quick to advise the married couples; that they should not deprive each other of the pleasures of sex otherwise they would resort to immorality as depicted in chapter 5. He adds another dimension in the institution of marriage that dissuades anyone from seeking a divorce. A woman should not marry again but should remain unmarried unless she gets reconciled to her husband (I Corinthians 7: 10). The question that arises from this recommendation is whether this applies to the husband as well. The other aspect that Paul fronts are that the “woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives” (1 Corinthians 7:39). She can only remarry if he dies; why is Paul silent on the husband? Is he also bound to this directive as well? No one knows.
Divorce: Genesis 1-3; Deut 24:1-4 Matt 5:31, 32:19:3-12: Mark 10:2-12.
“For this reason, a man will leave his mother and father and be united to his wife and they will become one flesh” (Gen 2:24). With this scripture, the institution of marriage was born and was initiated by Adam and Eve who became the first husband and wife. However, this is contrasted in Deut 24: 1-4 where we see that the man (husband) is given the authority to divorce his wife if the woman becomes displeasing to him. This seems to be the same stand that is taken by Paul in regards to the position of the man and the woman in the marriage, where the man seems to be the sole determinant of the marriage and its survival. It seems like the woman did not have any say at all.
All these changes when Jesus comes into the scene in Matt 5:31, where he dismisses divorce altogether and states grounds for it. From his perspective divorce can only take place for “marital unfaithfulness”. At the same time according to Matt 19:3-12, we see the reason why divorce was permitted in the Old Testament “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard” (Matt 19:8) this was not the way it was supposed to be initially. According to Jesus therefore the institution of marriage was straight from God and any deviation from it would be considered as adultery especially if the man went ahead and married another woman.
This fact is reinforced in Mark 10: 2-10 where Jesus again repeats what he had stated earlier on that “anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her”. Jesus is gender-sensitive where he also states that such would also happen to the woman if she divorces her husband and marries another man. Thus it is quite sufficient to say that divorce is not permitted unless in situations of marital unfaithfulness. The main reason for such a stand is a result of how God wanted it to be all along when God made “male and female” Gen 1:27.
Works Cited
The Holy Bible: International Revised English Version.
What is the Biblical teaching on marriage? Requirements and limitations
According to the Bible, Marriage is an enduring commitment instituted by God (Matthew 19: 3-8). The Old Testament requires people to marry and give birth to children. The Bible treats marriage as something holy. Marriage is also compatible with God’s commandments. The New Testament also explains why a person can remain unmarried (Rivera, 46). Celibacy can also be something nice for individuals who want to serve their God. The Bible also encourages people to get married instead of engaging in immorality (1 Corinthians 7: 9).
Jesus Christ and Apostle Paul were unmarried. The two remained unmarried in order to serve God. The first requirement for marriage is having a holy union (Genesis 1:27). The Bible also says that no one can separate whatever God has united (Matthew 19:6). This explains why marriage should be a lifelong commitment. One of the limitations of marriage is that it is purely exclusive. This means that adultery and promiscuity should never arise. According to the Bible, “marriage and indissolubility are incompatible” (Rivera 38).
When does the Bible consider a couple married?
The Bible considers a couple married when two people (a woman and a man) leave their parents and establish a new relationship or family (Genesis 2:24). The couple becomes responsible for one another. The individuals are joined together by God’s covenant. God’s covenant joins these bodies together, thus creating a holy union.
The couple becomes one flesh. God always blesses the union of marriage. This also differs significantly from current societal understanding. Many people do not want to become one flesh (Elwell, 28). The current understanding is that any two people who want to have children will get married.
Biblical Teaching on Divorce
The Bible gives clear ideas about divorce. In the book of Matthew 19:6, the Bible explains why human beings should never separate what God has brought together. God hates and discourages divorce. The Bible views marriage as a relationship intended for growth, maturity, and healing (Elwell 47). The relationship of marriage promotes healing. According to the Bible, “the institution of marriage should never be broken or severed” (Rivera 43).
The Bible allows divorce under some critical situations. The outstanding fact is that the Bible discourages the practice. The New Testament outlines some grounds for divorce. The Bible allows divorce when there is immorality (Matthew 19:9). Divorce can also take place after one of the partners passes away (Romans 7:2). A non-believer might leave the relationship, thus leading to divorce (1 Corinthians 7:15).
These grounds for divorce are rather different in our modern society. Money is one of the major causes of divorce in society today. Many people are driven by their emotional factors, thus resulting in divorce. This differs from the Biblical grounds for divorce. Infidelity is also a leading cause of divorce today.
What are some objections to your view on divorce?
Although the Bible permits divorce on some occasions, it also offers some firm stands against the practice (Elwell 84). God forbids divorce under every particular circumstance (1 Corinthians 7: 10-11). The Bible also goes further to permit the practice under many circumstances (Deuteronomy 24: 1).
I will always support my interpretation of the scriptures as described above. The Bible permits divorce after one of the two individuals die. The person should move on and start a new life. Sexual immorality is unacceptable. Sins cause divorces in society. Divorce might also take place if one of the partners is a non-believer (Rivera 64). The non-believer might decide to leave the marriage and eventually result in divorce.
Is it acceptable for a Christian to remarry?
One of the biggest questions is whether Christians should remarry after a divorce. Some Biblical verses support remarriage. A spouse can remarry if the other partner dies. The spouse can “remarry without indulging in adultery” (Romans 7:13). Sexual immorality is another possible cause of divorce. The Bible allows individuals to remarry if the first marriage ended because of infidelity.
The Bible permits remarriage after the couple dishonors their covenant with God. The Bible also encourages couples to reconcile in order to reduce the number of divorces. Remarriage should only take place after the marriage covenant is broken (Elwell 86). Couples in marriage should always be faithful, support one another, and be truthful in marriage.
The social and spiritual implications of divorce in the wider society
Divorce is harmful to both society and the Church. The practice also affects the strength and success of the immediate family. Divorce results from sins. Marriage is full of God’s pure love. Divorce “gives sin the final victory” (Elwell 75). Divorce weakens the faith and belief of Christians. God might stop loving the people for their sins. The society might also stop believing in God. The Church should not allow the divorce to happen frequently because it will affect its position in society (Elwell 87).
Divorce might eventually affect how people in the society view one another. It might also weaken people’s beliefs and trust. The creation of marriage was intended “to complete the roles of men in every society” (Genesis 2: 18). God blesses the marriage and makes it a powerful relationship that makes a person’s life complete. Marriage should not be broken if the society and the Church are to remain strong.
Works Cited
Elwell, W. Evangelical Dictionary of Theology. Grand Rapids: Baker, 2001.
Rivera, T. The Heart of Love: Obeying God’s Two Great Commandments. Grand Rapids: Zondervan.
Divorce is the act of terminating a marital union between parties and as a result, relieving them their legal duties and responsibilities. Divorce has many different implications that always depend on the type of marriage that bound the parties. For an initially monogamous family, the implication is that each former party is free and may marry another.
Where people practice polygamy, the divorced woman may have another husband, while in an originally polygynous family; the divorce gives the woman a leeway to marry another man. Only the laws of the land, which govern marriage, can determine the legality of divorce in any society. Imagine of a country like Malta or Philippines where authorities do not allow divorce; in such countries, divorce is illegal and thus punishable in the court of law.
In cases where divorce is legal, for example in most European countries, many laws exist to govern its execution. First, the party instigating the divorce needs to prove fault from his/her partner resulting in a break of their marriage ties. If the court accents to the proof put forward by the complainant, the jury, guided by the law, lays down a framework that governs sharing of property.
Regardless of the type of marriage, which bound the divorced parties, the victims experience diverse effects, which may be positive, negative, or a combination of these. This essay focuses on these effects as far as parents, children, and the society are concerned.
Emotional effects
The act of a man and a woman separating has varied effects on their psychological health. First, the abandoned party ponders about his/her next move. If the sharing of property accompanies the divorce, the most affected party suffers emotionally because of uncertainties about their future.
On their part, children of the divorced parties may find it difficult choosing on whether to follow their father or mother, while other parents may abandon both their partner and their children during the divorce (Brinig & Douglas, 2000, p.127). This may make the children become social misfits if their colleagues mock them about their family’s situation.
In a divorce case where the only breadwinner, usually the man, abandons the other party together with their children, the abandoned party may have difficulties providing for the family. The fear of the harsh realities, which accompany divorce, sets in and this makes them susceptible to stress, which may advance to depression. Depression has many long-term negative effects to the sufferer’s emotional as well as physical health. These may include delusions, anger flare-ups, and other mental disorders.
Divorce may also have a positive effect on the party advocating for it. This is very true but does not apply to all cases. Brinig and Douglas (2000) observe that, “if the cause of the divorce is unfaithfulness in marriage, the complainant, who may have been undergoing stress all along, may find divorce being a source of relieve” (p.127). This is because he/she no longer worries about the effects of sharing a partner.
Social effects
The social effects touch on relationship that the affected parties develop towards the larger community surrounding them as well as the reverse. In a case of a man who divorces his wife and the wider community knows about this, “he may have difficulties coping with others more so those who believe that the divorce is a wrongful act” (Rapoport, 2005, p.5).
Close friends may also avoid him on ethical grounds while some of his family members may change their attitudes towards him. Friends and relatives may distance themselves from him or avoid anything associated with him. As a result, he may withdraw from the wider society making his contribution to societal issues to become nil, an action that will cause degradation to the society.
A woman in the same condition also experiences more if not equal negative effect as her male counterpart since women are generally dependent on men. In communities where people consider a divorced woman as an outcast, her family may refuse admitting her back to the family, because doing so would tarnish the family name.
If by sheer luck, the family members admit her back, many people who may be her peers, equally avoid her for fear of the wider community associating them with her. The woman therefore, considered as a failure, feels alienated and as a result withdraws from the wider community. Her services to the community slowly fade and the society loses its key players without anyone noticing.
Children also experience social effects. The root causes and eventual effect of divorce may create an indelible impression in the minds of children. These children carry the memories to their adulthood resulting in violent behaviors. Phillips warns that the children may also grow up hating other men if their minds keep in memory the violent nature of their father that led to the divorce (1991, p.18).
The children may grow to become robbers, drug abusers, or even murderers. Imagine of a society full of individuals with this characters! The potential result is obvious. For school going children who hail from single parent families that result from divorce, social life at school may not be easy.
At times, during arguments with fellow students, oblivious of the negative social impact of divorce may make fun of their family situation. The affected child then finds it difficult coping with fellow students and this may badly affect his/her social life as well as academic performance.
Divorce may also affect parent to child relationship. The affected child may withdraw socially from his/her parents making them lose confidence in the parents. In a case where divorce marks the end of daily arguments or even fights between their parents, some children may find it to be a relief.
This is because the scary violent scenes they may have been seeing all along between their parents would have been a forgotten case; however, this rare situation is true only if the children are able to readjust easily and overcome other effects of the divorce.
Financial Effects
In any divorce case that leads to separation of husband and wife, there is need for the sharing of property owned by the family. The way the parties share the property has significant bearing on the financial status of both husband and wife. According to Luscombe, a man who was the breadwinner until the time of divorce may experience a positive change in his financial status after the divorce (2010, p.12A).
This is because all the funds he used to spend on his wife before separation is now wholly available for only his use. On the other hand, the woman who may have been a complete dependant of her partner has trouble as far as her financial status is concerned. This is because she can no longer live the life she used to live.
She has no access to free financial assistance her husband used to give her. However, in countries where strict laws that govern divorce exist for example in the United States, Rapoport observes, “the moment of divorce becomes an opportunity for the less affluent party to make easy wealth” (2005, p. 6).
The law requires that the two parties share their wealth equally regardless of the proportions each party contributed. The less affluent party makes more finances than she/he could have made on her/his own while the more affluent party shares his/her wealth against his/her wishes. This explains why in most divorces involving rich families, the less affluent party files the case.
Some couples under normal circumstances decide to pool their finances in order to get the benefits such as lower tax rates (if one partner greatly surpasses the other in earnings), higher common purchasing power, and assured financial stability. During divorce, this financial status changes since physical separation means that, each party controls his/her own earnings.
The changes in financial status of parents always affect the children. Children who have been learning in high profile schools may be withdrawn and taken to low profile ones. This may affect their academic performance and further low self-esteem if they do not understand the reason behind their withdrawal.
Health effects
Health matters are also a major issue of concern during divorce. The stress an individual undergoes during divorce greatly affects his/her health. Take for instance, a case where the male counterpart is the breadwinner; after divorce, it is obvious that he will not be supporting his wife. Consequently, the woman may be mentally disturbed as she devises means and ways of making ends meet.
If the efforts she makes prove futile, the stress levels advance. This may further result in negative behavioral effects like refusal to eat. Her health eventually deteriorates resulting in a weak body susceptible to illnesses. Children too, may be victims of negative health effects of divorce.
Amato (1993) argues that, it is common knowledge that children need a lot of energy since most of their time is playtime (p.59). When under stress because of the fears that will accompany their parents’ separation, they equally lose appetite even on their favorite foods. The result is that they will have energy-deficient bodies with high susceptibility to diseases.
Though not so significant, it is also worth to mention that stress causes deterioration of the condition of the mouth. The mouth of an individual affected by stress emits an odour that results from bacterial activity in the mouth. This comes about because of the long periods of stress during which the stressed individual keeps his/her mouth shut.
Stress can also have positive effects on an individual’s health. Take for example where a woman is depressed because her husband beats her up every day, quarrels her and denies her food.
It is obvious that such a woman is not happy under those circumstances and her health is in a bad state. A divorce would give her a better life, free from unjustified beatings, denial of food and frequent quarrels. As a result, her mental and physical health will undergo positive change that will make her a better person than she was before the divorce.
The same case applies to children who are able to overcome the negative effects of divorce by their parents and adjust to a stress free life that would assure them better mental and physical health. Although this may seem impossible, the presence of individuals to guide these children and give them psychological and moral support will make it an obvious possibility.
Societal effects
Unlike in the past where divorce was a taboo, modern society laws that govern it have made it a frequent occurrence. In the past, succeeding in getting a divorce would require that the complainant prove infidelity from his/her partner.
In the modern society however, this is not the case. The law allows an individual to ask for a divorce just at will, meaning that if someone woke up one morning with a plan to divorce his/her partner, they would be certain to succeed since it does not require any prove of infidelity (Phillips, 1991, p. 73).
This has made divorce so rampant that people, including small children, have considered it as part of their lives. Be it in the court, the media or different homesteads, the individuals do not consider it as a big deal but just an option when things between couples do not seem to be all right. This increased rate of divorce has resulted in widespread emotional instability, juvenile delinquency, and crime in society.
Divorce has resulted in poor child development and single parent families, which cause societal deterioration. Taking an example of the American society where divorce is so rampant, Spratling cautions that “young lovers do not take time to know each other but go ahead to marry, oblivious of the challenges ahead” (2009, p.19).
When a time comes that each other’s true character traits are emerging, the couple easily terminates the marriage through divorce.
This has caused widespread single parent families in which children develop flawed characters owing to the fact that only one parent molds their character and their childhood to their present age. This is especially so in single parent families involving only the mother. This in turn has caused widespread deterioration of the society in contemporary times.
Finally, withdrawal of stressed victims of divorce affects the overall economic state of the society. Consider an individual whom, through participation in matters that benefit the society contribute towards its growth. If this individual withdraws from societal affairs because of alienation, the society would miss his /her services, and this would result in gradual degradation of the society, however small his/her contribution is.
Conclusion
Divorce unlike in the past where one had to prove fidelity to get it, is a common occurrence in the modern society. The nature of the law in the modern society is such that it allows couples to divorce at any time of their wish without the need prove fidelity. This has led to many negative and few positive effects on the society; ever-increasing divorce rates and destructive activities associated with victims of divorce for example drug abuse; robbery and violence.
It is also vivid that the effects of divorce on the parents, children, and society from all dimensions of life are quite undesirable and unwelcome in a society with conscious minded people. Therefore, it is high time that individuals and concerned organizations made efforts aimed at preserving the sanctity of marriage because if they left the ever-increasing rates of divorce to chance, the society would undergo a major deterioration.
References
Amato, P. (1993). “Children’s adjustment to divorce: Theories, hypotheses, and
Empirical support.” Journal of Marriage and the Family, 55, 54-68.
Brinig, M., & Douglas, W. (2000). “These Boots Are Made for Walking: Why Most
Divorce Filers are Women.” American Law and Economics Review, 2(1): 126-129.
Luscombe, B. (2010). “Divorcing by the Numbers”. New York Times, pp. 12A.
Phillips, R. (1991). Untying the knot: a short history of divorce. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press. Print.
Rapoport, Y. (2005). Marriage, Money and Divorce in Medieval Islamic Society. USA Cambridge University Press.
Spratling, C. (2009). Blended families can overcome daunting odds. Burlington, Vermont: Burlington Free Press.
The effect of divorce on children depends on the age of the children at the time when the divorce is taking place, the gender of the child, and the characters of a child. Other minor factors that may determine the level of affection is the degree of conflict between the two parents, and the amount of support received from other relatives and close friends. For instance, if a child is in infant age, they may not understand the conflict between the parents (Knox and Schacht 279).
The effect of an infant may occur because of the changes in parents reactions and the time dedicate to him. The major effect on the infant is realized when he or she start loosing appetite due to the change of moods of the parents. The infant may also experience some stomach upsets, and start drooling.
For the preschool children who age between 3-5 years, they believe they are the causes of divorce in most cases. In several researches done they say that their failure to do house chores or to take their dinner made their mummy or daddy to run away.
Once parents divorce these preschool children start fearing because of feeling lonely, as they think that, their parents abandon them. The feeling of being abandoned make these children to show some baby like behaviors, through claiming their old toys, and some will even start wetting the bed even if they had stopped (Weiten, Lloyd and Yost 546).
Some children show some funny behaviors like denying that something has happened to their parents, some become uncooperative to the people looking after them, and some experiences an increased level of anger and stress. They feel comfortable when near an adult where there is assurance of security, but at the same time, they show some sense of aggressiveness.
Getting used to parental divorce by school-aged children is more difficult than for the preschool children or even the mature children. The school going age have the capability to understand that they are subject to suffering out of their parental divorce. Their age does not allow a control measure of this pain and perception that they will suffer.
They are too young to cope with this type of internal pain (Ahrons 98). The greatest effect of divorce to these children is experiencing misery, humiliation, divided love, and high anger.
Some psychologists have said that these children can forget these divorce issues through active participation in play and activities with other children of the same age.
Active participation of their bodies and mind would eliminate idleness and a chance of deep thoughts. These children of this age have the capability of hoping that their parents will rejoin again.
Another common effect of divorce to the children of this age is feeling of rejection by their parents and may be start complaining of constant headaches and stomach upsets.
Teenagers suffer greatly among all other groups when parental divorce occurs. Most of the time, when faced by challenges, teenagers become angry, and at the same time they start fearing and feeling lonely.
Even if they are not the cause of the problems, they feel guilt and having a stressing moment. Teenagers are mostly disturbed when the divorced parent gives them the responsibilities of adult people; they start feeling as if they that is not their duties because they are still young.
This situation forces them to undertake the responsibilities of their parents like cooking chores and looking after the smaller siblings. Teenagers make extra efforts of responding to the low motivation of their parents, and coping up with the increased stress of their parents.
They take control over several issues in the family from taking care of the parents to even domestic animals. Teenagers have highly emerging sexual feelings, and they feel lack of enough knowledge and support that is supposed to come from the parents.
This is a very crucial stage to the teenagers as they start doubting marriage life when they witness such behaviors. Some teenagers make decisions of staying unmarried if they witness such separations from their own parents.
Teenagers try as much as possible to understand the reasons behind their parental divorce, although this turns to be a very stressing moment they try to cope up with it. Sometimes they may absorb that shock of loneliness, but their capability of mind to remember the events occurrence spoils them a great deal by making them peace less for a long time before they adjust fully (Clarke and Brentano 104).
They try as much as possible to battle in their minds in an effort of determining one parent who is the cause of the divorce. They feel much pressure placed on them in the process of determining the troubleshooter and the reasons behind the whole process.
In terms of gender, some psychologists have proved that boys who grow with the presence of their fathers and girls by their mothers may have the ability to handle this better than children brought up by a person of opposite sex. A male child who has grown with the presence of their fathers are not very hostile, and they are in a better position as far as handling challenges is concerned, than those who grew with the presence of their mothers alone.
The girls who grow with close supervision of their mothers grow up being responsible and showing behaviors of a fully-grown adult. The ability of a child to cope with the effects of their parents divorce depends on the relationship between the parents and their children. The gender and the stage of the child also matters but not as much as the relationship in the family.
According to another group of psychologists, they claim that even if a child is mature, parental divorce is very stressing for any child.
The fact that they do not prepare for that divorce in advance makes it hard for them to bear. According to the research done by specialists, they say that less than 11% of the children receive some support from family friends and relatives during this tempting moment in the family. The amount of pain that these children go through comes from different sources (Brown 11).
To begin with, when parents divorce and separate, the children start feeling insecure in various ways. The parent may be psychologically prepared to divorce because they may be experiencing such problems for a long period, but this reaches their children in surprise making them mourn and grief for a long time.
In most cases, divorce changes the family set up where some members find themselves in a different status whereby they are have to move from the usual family place. This change of family arrangement brings much grieve and a feeling of being powerless to both the children and the parent who has moved away.
People in the society do not see any need of supporting children of the divorced parent as they do to the bereaved families (Sember 102). They take this as a normal process of life that does not require an external assistance. They refer this as irresponsibility of the both parents, which they ignore and cannot take it seriously.
On the other side, parents do not seek the assistance of their children because of fear of intimidation. Among the children who are preschoolers, may be a serious case where even sleeping becomes a challenge. Their fear may extend for a long time when they lack the custodial parent, because they do not understand how and when that divorce will end.
They tend to think the end of the world has come that they knew of happiness, protection, and love. This age is complicated because even the parents cannot explain to their child about their divorce. Even if they try to explain to these young children may not understand why their parents are behaving in such a reluctant manner.
For the children between the ages of 6-8 years their fear is worse because of that separation. The fact that divorce may be permanent disturbs them a lot and they keep on asking some nagging questions about when mummy or daddy will come back.
Bearing this hard situation with the children of this age becomes unbearable as the only topic that they would like to discuss with the left parent is that one and not any other. Sometimes they even tend to threaten the left parent that they will not attend the school unless they see the other parent.
While in school, they claim that other children are laughing at him or her after realizing that their parents are no longer together (Smoke 123). The children between the age of 8-11 years stay in uncomfortable mood by the fact that, they have to bear the hard situations with their parents.
These children end up not saying their needs because they do not want to overburden the left parent with problems. At this point, they suffer the loss of parental love, and lack of sharing their problems and reporting their needs.
The worst age of children witnessing the parental divorce is the age between 12-18years. In several cases, out of fear and anger they sit down and start discussing the reasons behind their parents’ separation. They start acting as judges as they try to determine who the cause of the divorce was, and what will happen to the custodial mother.
Some have worried too much, about what would be the results of the divorce to an extent of committing suicide and others hating their parents for a lifetime.
The struggle that a child would go through during and after the divorce has a great effect on that child after life. At the age of 18 years, a child may start acting in a different way as the whole perception of marriage life changes to him (Sember 108).
Some parents behave aggressively towards their divorce, and this makes their children to start adopting the wrong side of the behaviors. The life after divorce is hard and calls for much care because if children will be left to suffer by an irresponsible parent, this will be a double trouble.
In conclusion, many young children have suffered globally due to parental divorce. After divorce, the custodial parent feels overburdened, and in return, she delegates most of her duties to her children. The house has many chores, and the custodial mother is still working to look for more sources of income (Brown 8).
Most of the time, the teenage children are left with many house chores to cater for. Some parents have proved to act irresponsibly after divorce making their lovely children to suffer. Children who were born out of love, their parents are not supposed to abandon them to suffer due to their divorce. These children are innocent, and have the right to a good life full of love.
Works Cited
Ahrons, Constance. We are still family: What Grown Children Have to Say About Their Parents Divorce. London: HarperCollins, 2005.
Brown, Waln. Effects of Divorce on Children. London: William Gladden Foundation, 2003.
Clarke, Alison and Cornelia Brentano. Divorce: Causes and Consequences. New York: Yale University Press, 2007.
Knox, David and Caroline Schacht. Choices in ralationships: An introduction to marriage and the family. New York: Cengage Learning, 2009.
Divorce involves restructuring of the family where parents separate. When people get married, they get children in the union and who are under the care of both parents. Divorce causes emotional and psychological strain among the parents. The process of divorce is very involving and parents end up as opponents and seek to be independent (Roderick 6).
After divorce the parents reside in different houses and have to settle with the other about the custody of children. In most cases the children remain in custody of the mother. Although some people believe that parents absorb the major effects of divorce, I believe that divorce has a big effect on children than parents.
Discussion on how effects of divorce on children are more than effects on the parents
Emotional effects
According to Friedman (17), when parents divorce the family members are affected. The children as well as the parents have to adjust to changes and may take up to two years to settle down.
They often have emotions that are triggered by the divorce. In cases where children exposed and saw the parents engage in conflict, children find it more comfortable to live with a single parent and be not see the parents engage in quarrels.
On the other hand, some parents keep their differences secret from the children. When they divorce, such children usually have a harder time to cope with the change than children who knew their parents differences. Therefore parents can live in a marriage for the sake of the children.
Children encounter difficulty
Children from divorced families portray differences from those who grow up in stable families. Divorce affects children’s social life because some have difficulties relating with other members of society when compared with the others.
Roderick (pg 8), argues that some children from the divorced families may learn skill of copping with difficulties and therefore may end with less problems than those from non divorced families.
The recovery from divorce of the children is depended on the pace of the parent to pull through the difficult times. As Wilson (pg 10) argues, in cases where parents recover quickly, the children were able to cope with changes while those parents who took long to overcome challenges posed by divorce, their children continued manifesting problems like regression.
Unprepared to deal with change
Young children find it unbearable to deal with divorce of the parents because at their age they have not learnt how to muddle through changes and are thereby not fully ready to handle separation of one of the parents. Most often, boys have a harder time than girls when parents divorce.
When they develop problems, the divorced wife poorly manages the son’s problems and may liken him with the father besides having her own problems. The problem may include the fact that they had a relationship with the father which is no longer present.
Children are affected by the separation of parents. O’Neill (Para 2) reveals that the father figure or the mother figure is important to children. They lose the connection and some support they got from the parent.
Loss of one parent
Children end up spending limited time with parents. The divorce makes the children live with one parent and may see the other parent at another time. This makes them fail to experience the love and care of the parent who is away. The parents may enter into other relationships where they have to spend some time with the new found partner. The child does not fully enjoy the company of both parents as the parents may be committed to other relationships.
Failure in effective parenting
Some parents change their style of parenting after divorce as Hughes (Para11) mentions. They abandon some practices that would have benefited the child positively. For instance parents may fail to assist in home work since they relocated due to the divorce. The abandonment of the practices affects the child more than the parent because the child needs quality parenting which they are denied.
Children are largely affected by the process of divorce where both parents are adverse enemies. They are affected more than the parent when the two parents extend the fights in court about who is to provide care for the children. The child changes in the way they handle situations and may become irritated easily.
They may become criminals and at times attempt to take their life. They may also deliberately neglect authority and at time run away from their home. In some cases children feel insecure and uncertainty about their future.
Children suffer when the parents involve them in the divorce cases. Because parents need someone to confide in, some parents end up discussing their problems with the child. The child gets hurt when they become awre of their parents antagonism towards each other. They get feeling of helplessness since they both parents are important to them.
Roderick (Pg 14) supports the claim then process of divorce is traumatizing to the children. For this reason single parents living without divorce are viewed as healthier than families that are conflicting. Moreover, children love to live in a peaceful family rather than a family with violence.
Economic effects
Children have more problems than parents when affected by changes in economic support. Divorced parents may have economic challenges as suggested by most of the authors. Due to inadequate finances following divorce, the single mother of father may relocate and the children change the school they attend as a consequence (O’Neill 16).
Children lose relationships and friendships that are already and may be required have difficulties copping in the new environment. They may also change their lifestyle due to economic constrains.
Psychological effects
Children are psychologically affected by divorce. The memories of a good family, when the conflict began and became worse, the divorce process and later the experiences after the divorce remain in the child brain.
Another experience that remains to distress children with divorced parents is the movement from one parent’s residence to the other. Such children suffer because they consider that if the situation would change they would have one home (Friedman 27)
Divorce is stressful and not pleasant. The parents may understand and be willing to go through some changes as a result of the divorce. Children suffer more than the parents because they are neither prepared nor do they understand why they should put up with some changes. The encounter is more unbearable when the parent marries again and divorces again.
Change in organization of family
Some divorces causes greater loses of relationship with extended family members as well as the organization of a family (Wilson pg 9). The child may lose conduct with the other parents kinsmen like lovely grandparents and only meet them less frequently. During annual parties like a birthday, the child may feel the loss of important members of the extended family and the absence of one parent.
Recommendations
Children are affected by divorce more than parents because it has negative impact on the child’s maturity. Considerations made when parents choose to divorce do not include the feelings and opinions of the children. Thus children are forced into separating without being involved. Tension increases when one parent influences the child to side with one parent.
Friedman (Pg 15) notes that both parents should be committed to follow the progress of their child both in education and in social life. Additionally, parents can make efforts to see their children most often as the children need the figure and emotional support from both parents. Furthermore, parents can also consider staying in the marriage for the sake of the children. This is because children suffer even more than the parents for due to the divorce.
Conclusion
The effects of divorce cannot be under estimated because children are affected more than their parents. Based on the words of Wilson (pg 1) we can learn that children of divorced parents are affected by the loss of one parent, financial changes that cause change of lifestyle and relocation.
They are affected emotionally and psychologically and may end up with low self esteem and a feeling of helplessness. In addition, stress and memories concerning the divorce remain high among the children and hence they are affected more than the parents.
Works Cited
Friedman, Debra. Towards a structure of indifference: the social origins of maternal
Custody. New York: A. de Gruyter, c1994.
O’Neill, William. Divorce in the progressive era. New York, New Viewpoints, 1973
Roderick, Phillips. Putting asunder: a history of divorce in western society. Cambridge; New York: Cambridge University Press, 1988.