Category: Divorce

Introduction

Divorce is negatively regarded in American society as it is believed to lead to numerous detrimental social, economic, and other effects. It has been acknowledged that divorces are specifically harmful to children, whose psychological, emotional, and academic well-being deteriorates when their parents separate (Hill and Tisdall 224). Nevertheless, the divorce rate is alarmingly high in the United States.

Although it has decreased since its peak in the 1970s–1980s, it has remained dramatically higher than the divorce rate in the 1950s (Walsh 24). For instance, almost 10% of the US population was divorced in 2009, compared to only slightly more than 2% in 1950 (Chowdhury 257). It is possible to outline the major effects of the dissolution of marriages on US society, the economy, families, and children in evaluating the risks associated with divorce.

Families and Children

One of the most researched aspects of divorces is associated with their impact on families and children. It has been found that children living in single-parent families have psychological and emotional issues, often lag behind in school, and become less successful as adults (Anderson 378). First, children do not understand the changes that occur, and they may have various psychological and emotional issues.

Many children think that they are the reason for their parents’ separation, or they can even develop a level of distrust or contempt toward the opposite sex. In addition, divorce is associated with considerable financial losses for the family, which means that there will be less money available for the child’s needs; this has a direct effect on educational outcomes, as well (Baghestani and Malcolm 531). Split families often become the reason for the destruction of various social ties, which has a negative effect on the development of the community.

Economy and Divorce

Furthermore, it is important to note that economic losses are not only an outcome for families; divorces negatively affect the economy of the entire country. Separation is associated with the division of the couple’s property, which often leads to additional expenses such as legal bills (Lamanna et al. 369). Single parents (especially single mothers) often have to work part-time or from home, which can result in lower salaries. It has also been found that single parents tend to face unemployment issues (Chowdhury, 260). They have to both manage their job responsibilities and address their child’s or children’s needs, a difficult endeavor. Moreover, divorce is also tied to an increase in the poverty rate (Chowdhury, 260).

Society and Divorce

Finally, research on the impact of divorces shows that each couple’s separation has detrimental effects on society. As mentioned earlier, social links are destroyed or severely damaged (Baghestani and Malcolm 531). People grow alienated from others and tend to become more frustrated and stressed. The increased poverty rate and financial constraints that separated people’s experience lead to growing gaps in US society. These gaps can result in social unrest.

Conclusion

In conclusion, it is important to note that divorce has detrimental effects on society, the economy, and families in the United States. Children suffer the most, and their future will often be less successful compared to children raised in intact families. In simple terms, the separation of two people leads to a separation for millions. The nation itself may cease to exist as a society of complete strangers arises. Therefore, it is vital to address the problem and help the American nation remain strong and happy.

Works Cited

Anderson, Jane. “The Impact of Family Structure on the Health of Children: Effects of Divorce.” The Linacre Quarterly, vol 81, no. 4, 2014, pp. 378-387.

Baghestani, Hamid, and Michael Malcolm. “Marriage, Divorce and Economic Activity in the US: 1960–2008.” Applied Economics Letters, vol 21, no. 8, 2014, pp. 528-532.

Chowdhury, Abdur. “’Til Recession Do Us Part: Booms, Busts and Divorce in the United States.” Applied Economics Letters, vol 20, no. 3, 2013, pp. 255-261.

Hill, Malcolm, and Kay Tisdall. Children and Society. Taylor and Francis, 2014.

Lamanna, Mary Ann, et al. Marriages, Families, and Relationships: Making Choices in a Diverse Society. Cengage Learning, 2014.

Walsh, Froma. Strengthening Family Resilience. Guilford Publications, 2015.

The theme of marriage and divorce is quite relevant today since, judging by the prevailing world trend, an increasing number of couples prefer to break off relations rather than seek ways to reconcile. The purpose of this report is to analyse divorce statistics in England and Wales for the period of 2015-2016 to draw competent conclusions about the frequency of this phenomenon. The statistical data presented in the general access and the analysis of the investigated information will be used. In the process of research, it is planned to find some regularity or, on the contrary, to refute the statement that the tendency of increasing the number of divorces exists. As a rationale, official information is used. Data can be applied to further research and as a theoretical justification for the existing problem. Any predictions regarding the development of further situations are impossible because divorce as a social phenomenon is rather difficult to predict. Nevertheless, on the basis of the received statistics, it is possible to draw accurate conclusions. It is assumed that the problem will be considered completely on the basis of visual information. Tables and diagrams are auxiliary elements of the report to accurately present the found information.

Data Tables

Table 1. Statistics and divorce rates in different couples in 2015-2016.

Diagrams and Calculations

According to the information in Figure 1, for one more, the number of divorces in 2016 the number of divorces in opposite-sex couples in 2016 increased by more than five thousand compared with 2015 (Divorces in England and Wales: 2016, 2017).

As it can be seen from Figure 2, the number of divorces in same-sex couples in 2015 was equal to twenty-two (Divorces in England and Wales: 2015, 2017). In 2016, this indicator increased by more than five times.

According to Figure 3, the male divorce rate for opposite-sex couples in 2015 in a scale of 1,000 marriages was 8.5, which is 8.7% lower than in 2014 (Divorces in England and Wales: 2015, 2017). However, in 2016, this indicator increased to 8.9/1000 marriages (Divorces in England and Wales: 2016, 2017).

According to Figure 4, the female divorce rate for opposite-sex couples in 2015-2016 was the same as the male one: 8.5/1000 – 8.9/1000; the information from the official website proves that this indicator did not change (User guide to divorce statistics, 2017).

Commentary, Analysis and Interpretation

When paying attention to these statistics, it is possible to see that in some cases, the situation for one year significantly changed. For example, the number of divorces in opposite-sex couples over the period under review increased by almost six thousand, which suggests a trend towards an increase in this social phenomenon. According to the official site, this information is documented, which also indicates the validity of these data (User guide to divorce statistics, 2017). If the received figure increases in the same volume as for 2015-2016, by the end of 2018, the indicator will have been about one hundred and eighteen thousand. However, at the moment, it is too early to draw such conclusions since the official data have not been submitted yet.

The analysis of the obtained information can also indicate that the tendency to increase the number of divorces is relevant to not only opposite-sex but also same-sex couples. It, in its turn, allows concluding that there is a general orientation towards a break in relations. The percentage of divorces of different sexes who were the initiators of divorce also increased during the period under review. Despite the fact that the total number, at a glance, insignificantly increased (from 8.5 to 8.9), this percentage is rather large. It means that in 2016, approximately nine men and nine women per thousand favoured a break in relations (Divorces in England and Wales: 2016, 2017). Judging by the diagrams, in none of the cases considered there is a decrease in indicators. Nevertheless, judging by the information on the official site, these figures were less than those that had been relevant several years before (Divorces in England and Wales: 2015, 2017). Consequently, such data make it possible to say that the tendency to increase the number of divorces is certainly present.

Data Collection Process and Issues

The information collected by researchers in the process of studying the issue of divorce in England and Wales is undoubtedly valuable from the sociological point of view. Despite the fact that scientists might have had some difficulties in analysing the data, their contribution to the study of this issue is significant enough. One of the complexities, as Mikolai and Kulu (2018) note, is the need to analyse data from several sources because online resources cannot always be considered reliable. The need to collect such information certainly required a detailed study of the archives and reports that needed to be processed to carry out a comprehensive statistical analysis.

Perhaps, the authors of the initial study could have had difficulties in contacting with people who experience the divorce process. According to Birditt, Wan, Orbuch, and Antonucci (2017), tensions often arise between former spouses, which can even develop into hatred and aggression. In order to avoid anger, the researchers probably had to act cautiously and at the same time sought to obtain the most accurate information. Judging by the presented statistics, they were able to collect very detailed information, which indicates their professionalism.

Conclusion

Thus, making conclusions concerning the analysed data, it is possible to claim that diagrams are quite good elements to assess specific information and compare some data. Judging by the study, there is a tendency of increasing the number of divorces in England and Wales in 2015-2016. The results of the analysis confirm that there is some growth in the indicators. In the process of analysing the statistics, the question arose about the current indicators that are not specified in the official report. Based on this fact, additional research can be required, which will affect the figures of the previous year of 2017. If not two but three-time intervals are compared, it will help to make an even more complete and theoretically-based picture and find an obvious tendency that is connected with the issue of divorce.

References

Birditt, K. S., Wan, W. H., Orbuch, T. L., & Antonucci, T. C. (2017). The development of marital tension: Implications for divorce among married couples. Developmental Psychology, 53(10), 1995-2006.

Divorces in England and Wales: 2015. (2017). Web.

Divorces in England and Wales: 2016. (2017). Web.

Mikolai, J., & Kulu, H. (2018). Short-and long-term effects of divorce and separation on housing tenure in England and Wales. Population Studies, 72(1), 17-39.

User guide to divorce statistics. (2017). Web.

Abstract

Divorce is a serious issue that has been on the rise in the past few years. The rising number of divorce among societies is a factor that calls for timely interventions from states and governments. To curb the challenges introduced by a divorce, various states in the United States have laws that minimize the level of suffering experienced by the involved parties. Notably, the paper examines the causes of divorce and marital tensions. From the examination, it emerges that marital tensions and dissatisfactions are higher among women as compared to men. Moreover, irritation and disagreements top the list of issues that trigger divorce among families. In the quest to reduce the effects of divorce and its rising cases, scholars such as Birditt, Wan, Orbuch, and Antonucci (2017) advanced useful models.

Models like enduring dynamics, disillusionment, emergent distress, as well as accommodation model play a vital role in addressing issues relating to breakups in families. The paper also looks into the effect that employment and the number of children have on the likelihood of a divorce. Interventions like collaborative divorce are also among the issues analyzed by the paper. The paper examines the benefits of utilizing out-of-court proceedings especially in improving the wellbeing of children after the separation. Additionally, the paper analyses the challenges faced by parents who have a child with special needs during times of a breakup and how post-divorce programs foster the quality of life enjoyed by the separated families.

Introduction

Ideological differences, conflicts, and emotional flare-ups characterize several families and lead to divorce among a number of them in modern times. Notably, due to the increasing rates of divorce in the present times, it is important to look at the challenges that the issue has on the involved parties, which comprise the parents and the children. While the parents may try to handle their emotions and move on swiftly, children usually experience psychological trauma whenever there is a divorce. The suffering can affect the performance of children in learning institutions as well as in their overall livelihoods. As such, states and governments have introduced various interventions in the quest to minimize the damages occasioned by a divorce. Although divorce caused by marital tension is a serious trial for both adults and children, parents should try to collaborate to ease the transition period for their children.

Marital Tension

Marital Tension between Spouses, Level of Satisfaction, and Causes of a Divorce

Conflicts, ideological differences, and changing family roles are among the leading causes of divorce in several families. Unlike in the past when males used to make decisions concerning several issues affecting their families, modern societies have females who are equally involved in the decision-making process. As such, whenever there is an issue that requires a decision, heated arguments may arise owing to the absence of a consensus between the spouses. Birditt et al. (2017) argue that a look at the tensions in marriages reveals that they differ between males and females. In a marriage, tension appears to be high among females than it is among the males.

Fundamentally, in a number of families, females usually report higher levels of dissatisfaction as compared to males. It is important to note that when two individuals decide to get married, they come together with diverse expectations, which when they fail to attain, they become dissatisfied. According to a study conducted by Stannard (2016), it is clear that females become disillusioned when they fail to acquire the expectations that they had prior to getting married. While males handle their dissatisfaction in different ways such as trying to focus on the positive side of a relationship, women will always look for a solution that addresses the issue in the long-term.

Some of the negatives aspects that cause divorce in marriages include irritation, disappointment, conflict, and disagreements. These causes often appear once two individuals settle down to begin a family. In effect, the majority of the aforementioned issues usually appear after about five years of marriage when the families have children or have interacted significantly and the initial love has faded away. Stannard (2016) asserts that disagreement and disappointment can occur when a family is blessed with a child who requires special attention. In the assertion, the family may disagree on various issues concerning the child and end up with a desire to separate and lead different lives.

Models of Marital Tension, Employment, and the Number of Children

Principally, models of tension can be a solution to addressing issues related to a divorce or can catalyze the process of separation. Birditt et al. (2017) provide models like enduring dynamics, disillusionment, and emergent distress, which are useful in solving disagreements or examining the causes of divorce in marriages. In the enduring dynamics model, the spouses understand their problems prior to their union but hope that they will change once they live together, whereas in the disillusionment model the couple becomes hopeless when they realize that the expected changes are not forthcoming. On the other hand, the emergent distress model revolves around those issues that take effect in a relationship once the individuals stay together as a couple. In the scenarios presented by the models, the union between the families can be headed towards divorce but with the right interventions, the level of psychological trauma among the involved parties becomes minimal.

One of the most important models that help families resolve their differences and live without the fear of a divorce is the accommodation model. The model champions for an understanding and positive feelings among the spouses in a relationship and helps the involved families appreciate their weaknesses and live together. Ferraro, Malespin, Oehme, Bruker, and Opel (2016) elucidate that the determinants of divorce include employment status and the number of children in the family. If one member of the family has stable employment, the other party may be reluctant to initiate divorce because of the inability to fend for the needs of the family. Moreover, in scenarios where the family has more than three children, there is a decreased likelihood of a divorce owing to the high scale of trauma on children after the separation.

Collaborative Divorce

Effects of Adversarial Divorce on Children and the Importance of Out-of-Court interventions like Collaborative Divorce

Anxiety and depression usually affect children whenever a family goes through an adversarial divorce. When a family fails to reach a consensus on various issues surrounding the children and property, the process of separation becomes long, complex, and costly. Although the children may not bear the financial cost incurred by the parents, they suffer emotionally when they witness the hectic process and the disagreements triggered by the divorce. In the words of Birditt et al. (2017), divorce proceedings should always be swift and less complex for the parties involved. Whenever there is a divorce proceeding, the expectation of society and an extended family is that the parties involved will sort out their differences peacefully so that children would not experience prolonged periods of suffering. Concisely, the involved individuals should try to reach a consensus and adopt a non-adversarial format, which is less traumatic for their children.

When the parties involved in a divorce decide to engage the courts, the effect of the verdict may increase the suffering of another party. Remarkably, courts usually render their judgment based on the evidence that they have and do not look at the repercussions of the verdict on children and the affected family member. On some occasions, the courts can limit the level of interaction accorded to a parent that the children love and increase the custodial rights of the one who has little interest in them. Moreover, court proceedings may be expensive and can drain the resources of the affected family leaving them without money at the end of the process (Ferraro et al., 2016). Therefore, out-of-court interventions strive to reduce the level of suffering among children and spouses during the divorce process and after the separation.

In order to minimize the challenges experienced by families during and after the separation, interventions such as collaborative divorce emerged. In the assertion of Alba‐Fisch (2016), collaborative divorce aims to reduce the amount of time spent by families in courts and ensure that the feelings and rights of all the parties involved receive fair redress. Unlike the courts, collaborative divorce is an intervention that has codes and coaching methods useful in helping families amicably agree on issues. Single or two coach methods comprise the coaching techniques adopted by the intervention whose objective is to ensure that the process of divorce is peaceful and systematic. Moreover, the intervention encourages families involved in the divorce process to exercise effective communication systems, which foster peace even after the breakup.

Post Divorce Adjustment

Co-Parenting Relationship, Collaboration between Parents, and Divorce Education Programs

Even after a divorce, it is important for children to experience the love that they had from their parents. As such, parents need to ensure that the process of divorce does not lead to irreparable damages but is peaceful so that afterward, the children continue interacting with both of them. It is important to state that if parents continue arguing and disagreeing before their children, their overall performance diminishes and translates into poor lifestyles at the adulthood stage. According to Ferraro et al (2016), parents should not expose their private issues and address them in front of their children because it leads to psychological stress that later interferes with their growth. Therefore, parents should strive to increase positive interactions and minimize negative and argumentative meetings even after a divorce. Notably, when children see their parents working together and sharing duties that concern their wellbeing, they begin looking at them in a positive manner.

With improved positive meetings, parents can learn various factors that help them cooperate in bringing up their children even if they are living separately. Both parents should organize their schedules so that they meet with their children and spent time with them. It is momentous to explain that balanced interactions with children by both parents are crucial in helping them overcome the suffering initiated by the breakup so that they eventually lead normal and successful lives (Stannard, 2016). Issues relating to education, holiday destinations, and other aspects undertaken by the parents before the divorce should be shared collaboratively after the separation. By collaborating, the parents influence the lives of their children positively. Moreover, by working together, parents can reduce the negative feelings that emanate from a divorce.

Divorce programs aimed at increasing the level of contact between parents and their children after separation are present in various states around the United States. States such as Florida dictate that at least one of the parents need to attend the classes prior to a divorce. To compound their dictation, the state has introduced ‘Successful Co-parenting after divorce‘ program with the objective of ensuring that parents acquire the necessary skills that enable them to live and interact successfully with their children after the divorce (Ferraro et al., 2016). The drive behind the development of these programs stems from the weakened relationship between the children and some of their parents soon after the divorce, a scenario that is detrimental to their overall cognitive development. Therefore, by introducing divorce programs, the states improve post-divorce relationships not only among parents and the children but also between the separated individuals.

The divorce between Parents with a Child Who Has Special Needs

Divorce involving parents who have a child in need of special care is complex and requires advice from state attorneys. The complexity stems from the special needs that the parents should address before separating. Stannard (2016) claims that the triggers of divorce in families, which have a child who has a disability, maybe due to a lack of consensus on various issues. The issues can include therapy, hospitals where the child will receive treatment, and how to care for the child. Therefore, before annulling a marriage, some states may dictate that parents who retain the child must receive higher alimony and assets so that the process of care becomes effective.

It is worthwhile to note that when some parents retain children who have special needs, their productivity decreases because more time is spent looking after the children. The laws that various states have concerning children with special needs strive to retain the benefits enjoyed by the child even after the separation. These laws look into the wellbeing of the child so that the special requirements do not become a challenge in the future. Before ending a marriage, courts or out-of-court proceedings can evaluate the financial ability of the parents so that the quality of life accorded to the disabled child is high-end and matches the state requirements.

Conclusion

Divorce is a complex issue that affects several families in contemporary times. It is worrying that the rate of divorce among families is on the rise, a factor that has led to the development of interventions that address the challenges faced by children and the affected parties. While the parents may experience financial damages, children suffer from emotional stress, which can eventually affect their lives during adulthood. As such, interventions such as collaborative divorce and educational programs prior to separation are instrumental in minimizing the challenges during and after the breakup. These programs not only minimize the stress faced during the process of separation but also help the parents take care of their children positively so that the level of suffering among the involved parties reduces.

References

Alba‐Fisch, M. (2016). Collaborative divorce: An effort to reduce the damage of divorce. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 72(5), 444-457.

Birditt, K., Wan, W., Orbuch, T., & Antonucci, T. (2017). The development of marital tension: Implications for divorce among married couples. Developmental Psychology, 53(10), 1995-2006.

Ferraro, A., Malespin, T., Oehme, K., Bruker, M., & Opel, A. (2016). Advancing co parenting education: Toward a foundation for supporting positive post-divorce adjustment. Child and Adolescent Social Work Journal, 33(5), 407-415.

Stannard, M. (2016). 5 ways to advocate for a child with special needs during a divorce. EP Magazine, 1(1), 29-31.

Mediation is a way of resolving conflicts aimed at helping partners who decided to get divorced go through this process with as little complications as possible. The role of a divorce mediator is not an easy one, particularly when the decision to address his or her services is not voluntary but mandatory. The process of divorce mediation requires thorough preparation and taking into consideration a number of factors. Out of all the available mediation styles, the transformative approach seems to be the most appropriate when dealing with the process of family separation.

Mediation is one of three approaches to terminating a marriage, along with litigation and collaboration (Bartelmie, 2011). Litigation presupposes an attorney-client relationship and involves a husband versus wife or a wife versus husband court application during which much of personal information about the partners is made public due to a desire of the two people to gain an advantage over each other. The process of litigation is lengthy and complicated. The major role during the process belongs to the attorneys. It is hardly possible for future ex-partners to sustain good relationships when they choose this type of conflict resolution (Bartelmie, 2011).

Collaboration is a more civilized approach. Although it also involves attorneys, in this case, they work as two teams aiming at finding the most beneficial solutions for both parties. These teams may be expanded and may include coaches, child specialists, financial consultants, and appraisers, who all work together to simplify the divorce process as much as possible (Bartelmie, 2011). Compared to litigation and collaboration, mediation is the best option for couples who wish to avoid the involvement of the court and prefer to choose a third, independent party to manage the process of separation.

Mediation is the most democratic approach to a divorce process because, at its core, it has integrity rather than hostility (Schwartzberg, 2009). During the process of mediation, the emphasis is put on partners’ willingness to negotiate and cooperate.

Unlike litigation and collaboration approaches where a husband and a wife are in opposing teams, mediation presupposes that a family is a “client” of the process (Bartelmie, 2011, p. 17). Parents and children are considered as a whole, and the ultimate aim of the mediator’s work is to reach the best outcomes for each of the parties. Mediation concentrates on sustaining friendly relationships between spouses in order to arrange the most favorable results for children. The mediator emphasizes that although two adults have decided to stop being a husband and a wife, they should not forget about their roles as parents. In this approach, there is no space for hostility or hatred, and all attention is paid to finding the most convenient solutions for children and their parents.

Mediation has a number of advantages over other forms of marriage termination. It is less expensive and takes less time than collaboration and litigation. Another significant benefit of this approach is that no confidential information is shared, and no court publicity is involved (Bartelmie, 2011). All agreements are reached mutually, which means that the parties will more likely adhere to them. Parents have an opportunity to arrange the best childrearing options as well as manage their own time in a convenient way. In case if parties do not have children, mediation helps them to settle the affairs in a friendly and reasonable way. Stoner (2010) outlines the following advantages of mediation:

• balancing the situation with the help of a compromise;
• arranging the voluntary exchange of all the required information;
• settling for an agreement on legal operations that reduce the expenses and rationalize the process;
• arranging the conditions that are suitable for everyone;
• making arrangements regarding the post-divorce resolutions.

Typically, mediation is comprised of five stages:

1. “introductory.”
2. “informal gathering.”
3. “framing.”
4. “negotiating”
5. “concluding” (Stoner, 2004, p. 2/3).

Usually, these steps happen one after another. However, there are cases when a mediator needs to return to some of the steps in order to make the situation clearer before making final conclusions and arrangements. There are also cases when it is not possible to distinguish any phases at all (Stoner, 2004). In any situation, mediators should try to notice the changes in the process since each of them has some peculiarities that may be helpful in reaching an agreement. The majority of divorce mediations require many sessions to carry out all the five phases due to a large number of issues to resolve, such as child custody, alimony, property division, and others.

Families going through a divorce are in need of support and help, which is the responsibility of a mediator. It is his or her job to arrange the first session in such a way that partners would want to continue the meetings and deal with their problems in the most democratic and friendly way. Although mediation is known for its detachment from legislation, specialists may consider it necessary to invite legal professionals in the process of mediation (Emery, 2012).

It is crucial for mediators to have a coherent plan of procedures, and it is possible to involve the legal community in creating it if necessary. Judicial support is a significant constituent of successful mediation. Judges may advise partners to start the mediation process or even assist in initiating this process at the earliest stages of divorce. There are several reasons why judges at family courts should promote mediation.

The first argument is that judges realize that children suffer in the course of a family disagreement, and it is necessary to eliminate adverse outcomes for them. The second reason is that judges may notice that apart from custody issues, a family may have other serious problems requiring psychological rather than legal help (Emery, 2012). The third thing is that families may have many issues that should be treated separately in the court but may be dealt with together during mediation. The fourth reason is that in many modern families, parents are not married, which makes the legal process much more complicated than mediation. The fifth issue is associated with a growing number of such cases. Judges tend to approve of mediation as a successful approach because it helps them to reduce the number of cases they have to resolve (Emery, 2012).

Therefore, although mediation does not necessarily presuppose legal intervention, judicial support may be rather useful in this process. Since judges have different preferences concerning divorce matters, it is sometimes even necessary to consult them prior to initiating mediation sessions with families (Emery, 2012). With the help of such an approach, mediators are more likely to develop productive policies that will be suitable for each of the parties.

In the process of divorce mediation, two aspects are extremely crucial: what to do about children and how to manage financial issues. There are two issues related to parents’ decisions regarding children: how to make decisions on bringing up (legal custody) and how to share the time to spend with kids (physical custody) (Emery, 2012). When negotiating legal custody, parents have to think of three things: sharing the principal decisions concerning children, appreciating the other parent’s decisions in his or her house, and creating a method of discussing crucial childrearing questions while simultaneously trying to regulate parenting across two homes (Emery, 2012).

When choosing between sole and joint legal custody, it is necessary to bear in mind that there are not so many issues that parents may decide together. Basically, there are three crucial aspects to consider: medical care, religion, and schooling. Thus, it is a common practice that in joint custody, parents decide together what school or church their children will attend. However, it does not mean that in case of an emergency, one parent cannot take the child to a hospital without asking for another parent’s permission. And vice versa, if a parent has sole custody, it does not mean that the other parent cannot participate in such decisions if he or she wants to and if it is not forbidden by the judge (Emery, 2012).

What concerns joint physical custody it is more difficult to arrange than legal custody. The key law requirement is that custody decisions should be made based on children’s “best interests” (Emery, 2012, p. 109). The problem is that there are few criteria defining such interests. They are:

• the preferences of parents concerning custody;
• children’s wishes related to their custodian;
• the communication between children, their parents, siblings, and other people on whom children’s best interests may depend;
• children’s accommodation to their community and home;
• the physical and mental wellbeing of all persons concerned (Emery, 2012).

The definition of children’s best interests is vague, which leads to many arguments and misunderstandings. Emery (2012) defines such interests as the arrangement of the least psychological discomfort for children. However, Emery (2012) also notes that since no attention is paid to parents’ interests, it is frequently a case that parents’ preferences impact the joint custody arrangements. The scholar considers such a state of things quite apparent based on the fact that all of the affected individuals deserve to have their interests recognized. Because joint custody has many unsettled issues, Emery (2012) discussed the options that can be used as an alternative to it:

• parents should analyze many possible variants and come up with a solution that fits best of all;
• instead of assuming what ideas might and might not work, the parent may try several different plans within several months and choose the one that worked best for each person concerned;
• parenting plans should be altered in accordance with children’s age peculiarities; one plan cannot be suitable for several years.

Not all mediators discuss financial issues with their clients paying more attention to children’s interests. However, this problem is an acute one, particularly because children’s interests depend on money greatly. Thus, Emery (2012) emphasizes the significance of regulating financial issues in the process of mediation. Research indicates that after a divorce, the family’s income needs to grow by nearly 30% in order to sustain the living standard that the family used to have while being married (Emery, 2012). The greatest financial burden falls on mothers living with children. The explanation of such a fact is that women usually have lower-incomes, and they have worse job opportunities due to losing some work experience while raising children.

There are three financial decisions to make in divorce mediation: child support, alimony, and division of property (Emery, 2012). Property division is sharing the things obtained during marital life. Alimony is a kind of payment that is made from one partner to another with the aim of sustaining the living standard that a person had while staying in the marriage. Many attorneys consider alimony as something outdated, which is probably why the rules of establishing alimony are obscure Emery, 2012).

Child support is a crucial issue since it is the money necessary for raising children. In the US, schedules are used to estimate child support. The schedules vary in different states, but as a rule, some percentage of each spouse’s income is determined for this payment (Emery, 2012). Financial aspects of divorce are rather significant since, on them, the wellbeing of each of the partners and children depends.

In divorce mediation, the most suitable solution seems to be a transformative approach. Transformative negotiation was introduced by Bush and Folger in 1994 (Irving & Benjamin, 2002). This model is based on two main concepts: recognition and empowerment. Empowerment is related to increased self-efficacy and enhanced confidence and self-awareness (Irving & Benjamin, 2002). The concept of empowerment presupposes the establishment of a clear vision of partners’ interests and objectives, alternatives that are available to them, their resources, and responsible decisions.

The notion of recognition is associated with the development of intrapersonal skills with a particular focus on understanding between partners. With the achievement of empowerment and recognition, it becomes possible to eliminate anger, tension, and defensiveness due to becoming more compassionate and supportive of other partner’s feelings (Irving & Benjamin, 2002). There is a close interconnection between recognition and empowerment.

Empowerment provides support and encourages recognition, while recognition by the partner is empowering. When partners are recognized and empowered, they can combine their efforts to find solutions to difficult situations. However, the central focus of the transformative approach is not resolving all differences (Irving & Benjamin, 2002). The partners may keep disagreeing, but if they demonstrate personal development and growth concerning the process of mediation, the approach may be considered successfully employed.

Other mediation approaches, such as the stage theory model, therapeutic, procedural, problem-solving, and negotiation, are less suitable in divorce mediation because they concentrate on altering problems rather than people (Taylor, 2010). Meanwhile, the transformative model aims at changing people’s attitudes to the problem instead of behaviors. Folger and Bush suggested ten hallmarks of transformation that provide an explanation of this approach.

These concepts include such statements as “there are facts in the feelings,” “the action is ‘in the room,’” “discussing the past has value to the present,” and others which explain the essence of the transformative approach and demonstrate the difference between transformation and other models pointing out the benefits of the former over the latter (as cited in Taylor, 2010, p. 132). Transformative mediation presupposes trust and hope for a partner’s ability to be actively engaged in the mediation process, which will lead to reaching the best outcomes for both of them (Taylor, 2010). Therefore, this approach seems to be the most suitable in the divorce mediation process.

References

Bartelmie, S. (2011). Divorce mediation manual. Bloomington, IN Trafford Publishing.

Emery, R. E. (2012). Renegotiating family relationships: Divorce, child custody, and mediation (2nd ed.). New York, NY: The Guilford Press.

Irving, H. H., & Benjamin, M. (2002). Therapeutic family mediation: Helping families resolve conflict. Thousand Oaks, CA: SAGE.

Schwartzberg, O. (2009). Divorce mediation from the inside out A mindful approach to divorce. Tucson, AZ: Wheatmark.

Stoner, K. E. (2004). Using divorce mediation: Save your money and your sanity (2nd ed.). Berkeley, CA: Nolo.

Taylor, A. (2010). The handbook of family dispute resolution: Mediation theory and practice (2nd ed.). San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass.

Introduction

The family and marriage impacts the society in a very great way. The family is a vital element in the setting up of a society. The family is the building block for any society and without marriages, families cannot exist. Good families are a result of successful marriages. The order socially revolves around instincts marriage and family. The natural hunger and desire for sex has led to the creation of marriages since time in memorial. The maintenance of descent of the society for the lineage of mankind is a very important issue in many communities and societies.

Marriage and divorce are key identity features for the Muslim society and families. They are also symbols of the Islamic tradition. The family being the basic unit of a society which is also a principle in the Islamic society its genesis is the relationship between a husband and a wife.

Marriages among the Islamic society

Marriages among in the Islamic society are categorized into five. The marriages are described by jurists and include he following; fard which is compulsory. In this situation the individual is expected to have all resources for the genesis of a family life. These resources encompass attainment of adulthood and earning a livelihood, health and have a residence. This should be accompanied by the certainty that if the individual does not marry he is likely to engage in the sin of commission of zina. If he fails to marry he is considered as sinful. The second category is Wajib which is obligatory. This is in a prophesied situation where there is a probability of the person committing a sin.

The third group is unlawful also known as haram. This is mostly identified with circumstances where the individual does not have the full requirements and also the individual is sure after the marriage he will commit a major sin. Another category which is more or less similar is where the person is likely to behave unjustly toward his wife even after marriage and is highly vulnerable of committing major sins against the wife. Crowning it all is where there is no injustice likely to happen i.e. if neither a major sin nor the individual is well prepared and has all the requirement of a marital life therefore this is referred to as the way of Allah hence the individual is a messenger of Allah.

Importance of marriage to the Islamic society

The introduction of marriage in based on certain objectives which are believed to be commanded to man by Allah which he should live his life under. The objectives are diverse and are linked to the principles dictated by their holy book the Qur’an and other significant objectives of marriage like the nikah.

The key element is taking care of the Human morals. According to the Muslims, Allah created the earth and crowned man above all creation. He is the administrator of the affairs of the universe operations. Marriage has been used as the mode of fulfilling the natural need of a human being. Through this it has been made possible to maintain the human cultures and morals. The Qur’an has termed marriage as the make of a fort which is strong and rigid to control and protect the human morals. For the maintenance of mutual benefits for both men and women in marriages the protection of human morals is important so as to avoid incidences of fornication.

The development and establishment of an Islamic society, the Shariah law should be followed to the later hence the nikah which governs the marriage and all that revolve around it should be followed. This is one of the means adopted by the Islam to achieve the end of an Islamic society. This is acquired through the fact that marriage is protected and people are able to meet their natural needs in the natural way. The social responsibilities are also not neglected in any way therefore the society is well knit and established on the key principles that take care of humanity.

As the different individuals take up their responsibilities they build up good elements in their society which when they progress they yield good elements whose adoption is a beneficial vital achievement for the society at large. It helps also build love and affection among the spouses. The achievement of this is happiness and satisfaction for spouses.

In the Islamic society, some factors hold a lot of water when it comes to marriage. For example the social stratification which social class one belongs to and the person seeking a hand in marriage. The individuals should protest the same faith for the marriage to be authorised in the Islamic society. Equity in the social status, health, wealth and property is sort to allow for a smooth flow in the marriage.

For the marriage to be officiated the husband is supposed to pay a dower which can be prompt or deferred meaning can be paid at a later date. This can be agreed dower, like or minimum dower. The agreed is what they will agree at that particular time while like is a dower that is set for a particular family and the minimum does not limit anyone he can give according to his wealth. There are special situation which can make the dower be dropped for example; if the wife is divorced after the marriage contract without cohabiting.

Islamic societies do not highly advocate for mixed marriages in that with people from different faith. But in case such occurrences appear they children follow the faith of the mother therefore if the mother is a Muslim the children are termed of the Islamic faith automatically. When marriages do not work issues which defile or break the moral values according to the Islamic law divorce comes in. Divorce starts with a separating before it matures up to full or complete divorce.

Divorce

In the Islam society, divorce is not a taboo neither an abomination. They allow divorce where it calls for and necessitate it. Their ruling on this is reluctant, for they neither indicate liking or recommending it. Despite the fact that it is allowed the prophets term it as the most ostracized by Allah among the lawful things.

Though divorce is lawful the grounds under which it is allowed are not publicized which should not be mistaken to the weight given to the matter. It is in deed highly valued. It has been feared that the results of publicizing the grounds for divorce would cause more damage than good. Though the matters of divorce are so much inclined to the Muslim religion guidelines, some of these rules people may not term as genuine.

The principle and fear of cleaning dirty linen in public to some point hinders the Islamic society to expose the grounds under which they would legalize divorce. This is done in the court apart from very special circumstances which may call for the exposure of these situations. The court determines the the way out in case the husband and wife are separating.

The Quran states clearly that, if it is feared that the two may not be able to keep the boundaries given by Allah they should not be blamed if she gets out of the marriage tie. Therefore, it seems certain that hopelessness and failure of either of the parties in the marriage can necessitate divorce according to the rules governing them. Failure to discharge their marital duties seems as the key issue that can substantiate divorce.

The fact that the grounds or the basis for allowing divorce are so much hidden, there are some signs or indices that can be used to indicate grounds that may be used. The fact that a problem between the husband and wife has progressed to the level of being heard in court; this in itself sends an alarm to the individuals involved. Others signs are for husband serves long time in jail for the husband. They also have long absence without any information and may therefore not even be able to cater for the needs of the family. Impotence and chronic illnesses are also possible indicators for divorce.

The Islamic law allows for up to three times of divorce but the wife must be in the period of parity. After the divorce the two have an opportunity to reconcile as they wait for the time of divorce to pass. If this time passes without have accomplished the reconciliation they are then fully divorced. If they reconcile and the hostility continues there is a provision for divorce a second time. Still believe you me they can reconcile a second time. With the third divorce she is totally barred from him. After this judgement, she is therefore allowed to get married to any other man.

Against the norms of many, in the Islamic society a woman can also divorce her husband. This type of divorce is referred to as delegated divorce. And also it is possible for marriage to be dissolved through a mutual agreement which is referred to as Khula. The immediate results of divorce is the waiting period which last for three months under normal circumstances but in case of a pregnancy it lasts for the life span of the pregnancy.

This period acts as an audition period where reconciliation is allowed. It also gives time to check out whether the wife carries the man’s baby or pregnancy and allows time for planning. During the waiting period the husband takes care of and hosts the wife in his residence. He is not allowed to harass her and in case it happens, it is both a criminal and moral offence.

In case of the divorce, the mother has the right to stay with the children and the husband is obliged to provide for the needs of such children. Among the Islamic society divorce is as practical as marriage is. Nevertheless reconciliation attempts are advocated for and no wonder it has not been purely made a judicial issue for nowhere has courts even reduced divorces.

Considering the guardianship of the children the mothers are the first guardian while the second are the spiritual guardianships. The children remain with the mother because it is believed that the mother can move with the students to another marriage in case she gets married after the divorce.

Conclusion

Marriage is the genesis of a family which is the basic unit of a society. Marriage is very vital for any society for it is a basic unit of socialization. For individuals to be responsible citizens and ambassadors of their faith and cultures it calls for a good orientation. Marriages should therefore be supported and well taken care of. Marriages can be dissolved under different circumstances and pave way for divorce. Divorce is not the best solution for marriage but more so individuals should concentrate on reconciliation.

Works Cited

Ali, Muhammad. Islamic law of marriage and divorce. Pakistan: aaiil.org. 2007(2-9). Web.

Al Qaradawi, Yousef. The Lawful and the prohibited in Islam. Witness-pioneer.org, 2009(1). Web.

Huda, Naser. The Islamic Marriage Contract: Required elements for a legal Islamic marriage. 2009(1). Web.

Morley, Jeremy. International family law: Islamic family law. US: International Family Law, 2009 (1). Web.

Sham, Shahzad. Some aspects of marriage and divorce in he Muslim family law. Malaysia: International Islamic University. 2008(1). Web.

Wponline.org. Islamic law regarding divorce. WPONLINE.ORG, 2002 (1). Web.

In today’s society, divorce has become the norm. A comprehensive study conducted by the American Bureau of Labor Statistics last year shows that, about 43% of all marriages that occurred between ages 15 and 46 ended in divorce (U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, 2013). Similar studies that have been conducted by other organizations and individuals also estimate the divorce rates in America to be between 30% and 40%. Therefore, the overall divorce rate in America is above 30%.

Divorce has several causes that fall into three main categories viz. affective issues, abusive behavior, and external pressure. Affective issues take the form of communication problems and infidelity among others. Abusive behavior, on the other hand, includes physical violence, drug abuse, and verbal violence. Finally, external pressure consists of financial problems, work issues, health issues, and family pressure (Nevid & Rathus, 2013).

Marriage begins to fail when communication dies. At that point, couples tend to stay apart and in so doing, they allow thoughts of divorce to overwhelm them. Infidelity for its part, shatters all the three components of love at once causing the sentimental attachment and trust that existed between partners to wane suddenly (Acker & Davis, 1992). In the long run, divorce becomes an attractive option for both partners (Nevid & Rathus, 2013). Moreover, when one partner suddenly becomes violent towards the other, the love bond between them weakens. Consequently, the future of their marriage becomes shaky. Once the commitment aspect is affected, love begins to grow cold, thus, paving the way for a divorce (Acker & Davis, 1992).

External pressures for their part, cause divorce by attacking the foundation of marriages. Most marriages lack a solid foundation. As a result, they cannot stand the turbulence that is caused by external factors such as financial strains, work-related pressures, and interference from in-laws and other family members (Nevid & Rathus, 2013). These external pressures, lower marital satisfaction and create tension between partners. Consequently, they adversely affect intimacy and passion thereby causing divorce.

References

Acker, M., & Davis, M. (1992). Intimacy, passion and commitment in adult romantic relationships: A test of the triangular theory of love. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 9(1), 21-50.

Nevid, J. S., & Rathus, S. A. (2013). Psychology and the challenges of life: Adjustment and growth (12th ed.). Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley & Sons.

U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics. (2013). Marriage and divorce: Patterns by gender, race, and educational attainment. Web.

Introduction

According to Kuehn (4), “divorce is a legal process that ends a marriage.” Divorce can also be described as a period when families fail to overcome the major changes they experience. It is often associated with a disagreement between couples. Many people consider it an inappropriate way of solving problems. However, I completely disagree with the statement “if I were to get married, I would never consider divorce to be a viable option for any reason.” I think it is right for a couple to divorce if they think they are not compatible with each other.

Role of love in a relationship

I believe that love is the fundamental element of any serious relationship, that is why no one on earth can withstand a loveless relationship. Love makes marriages grow strong. It enables couples to share views and ideas, hence enhancing individual prosperity. On the other hand, the absence of love contributes to the deterioration of many relationships. The absence of love leads to a misunderstanding that results in a lack of communication between partners (Seiden and Billett, Chapter 2).

Evidence also points to the fact that people without affection portray uncouth behavior. For instance, people who do not love each other indulge in occasional quarrels and wars. The absence of love also makes many people avoid discussions of relationships, which affects the ability of partners to solve disagreements. Relationship discussions aid couples in learning the differences between them (Seiden and Billett Chapter 2). Thus, it is crucial for parties that do not love each other to divorce to avoid turmoil in marriage.

Antisocial behavior

It is challenging and unbearable to withstand any antisocial behavior from anyone, including the partners. I also agree with Emery Robert’s (42) argument that parental antisocial behavior contributes immensely to divorce. Occasionally, most people marry to have companions with whom they can share personal issues. However, some people tend to avoid socializing with their partners after some periods of marriage. Lack of socialization in a marriage is often associated with the discomfort that makes many married people involved in activities that may result in betrayal and exposure to some diseases.

Some marriage partners are also very secretive of their lives, aspirations, and medical conditions that may affect their union. On most occasions, lovers end up in marriages without informing their partners of their sensitive issues. Confiding in a person reluctant to share anything with his partner is dangerous since, on most occasions, it may make another party get into trouble. Thus, it is crucial for a couple that does not socialize freely to divorce.

Marriage cheating

I doubt if there is any person on this earth that can withstand cheating in marriage (Clarke-Stewart and Brentano 5). Bearing cheating of a partner in a marriage is not accepted worldwide. Cheating in marriage can result in the transmission of deadly diseases such as AIDS among partners. It leads also to the diversion of not only love but also resources as most people that cheat in marriages neglect their family responsibilities. I also believe that most cases of unfaithfulness are caused by emotional affairs. On most occasions, people who lack self-control indulge in affairs that may lead to family problems (Seiden and Billett Chapter 2).

Additionally, some people hurt their partners by expressing love and care for their former spouses. Thus, it is crucial for a person who is cheated on to seek a divorce to avoid heartbreaks and contraction of sexually transmitted diseases.

Effects of emotions

According to what takes place in many societies, it is very difficult to associate freely with emotional people. Emotional people are used to quarreling and disagreeing with everything and everyone in society. They have also a tendency of taking everything, including even jokes, very serious. On most occasions, they cannot differ jokes from personal abuse, and their habit of being too secretive also worries very much. However, most people are unaware of the emotional state of their partners as they marry them and find out about the latter after living with them for some time. Since it is difficult to stay with an emotional person as a wife or husband, it may be better for one to seek a divorce in such a case.

Difference in likes

I also believe it is very difficult for persons with different likes to stay together; the difference in likes between married individuals leads to confrontations and mental tortures. They also make married people not only perform activities differently but also disregard each other’s opinions. Thus, it may be a way-out for the parties involved to divorce in such a situation to grant themselves and their children an opportunity of advancing in life.

Immaturity

I know it is very difficult for any person to build a family and plan his/her future with an immature person as a spouse. Immature people are often associated with immature actions. In addition to making the wrong decisions, they also indulge in shameful activities. Immature people also love being supervised, which is an activity that is very difficult to implement. Additionally, it is very difficult to come into agreement with immature persons because of their childish decisions and opinions. If a person marries immature individual hope that his/her partner will change, he may be disappointed because, as a rule, his/her spouse may change, but he/she may not like it. Thus, such people should seek a divorce in case they cannot bear the immaturity of the partner.

Drug abuse

It is also evident that none will tolerate having a drug abuser as a wife or a husband. Drug addicts make their families suffer from violence. Additionally, most drug addicts are hard not only to manage but also to share ideas with. Thus, it is crucial for a partner who is exposed to abuses in a family to seek divorce.

Social differences

I believe it is hard for people from different backgrounds to build a family because any family requires a solid foundation, i.e. material basis. That is why people having different social statuses may face the great challenge of accepting the differences in education, views, etc. Additionally, the family members and in-laws from a low stratum tend to be problematic. Thus, the marriage of such people may be broken by the inability to accept social differences and go through economic challenges.

Conclusion

In conclusion, divorce is a societal lawful process that takes place between disagreeing partners in a marriage. These differences are mainly caused by variation in ideas and likes. Loss of love, cheatings, emotions, and immaturity have also been found to trigger divorce. Most people also end up in divorce because of drug abuse and lack of communication as a result of antisocial behavior. The majority of people consider it an inappropriate way of solving marriage problems. However, most of the marriage problems are beyond human ability and owing to the reasons mentioned, I completely disagree with the topic “if I were to get married, I would never consider divorce to be a viable option for any reason.”

Works Cited

Clarke-Stewart, Alison and Cornelia Brentano. Divorce: Causes and Consequences. New York: Yale University Press, 2007. Print.

Emery, Robert E. Marriage, Divorce, and Children’s Adjustment. New York: SAGE, 1999. Print.

Kuehn, Eileen. Divorce: Finding a Place. Oklahoma City: Capstone, 2001. Print.

Seiden, Othniel, and Jane Bilett. I Got Caught Cheating – How Can I Save My Marriage? New York: Crystal Night Books. 2011. Print.

Want to know about the negative effects of divorce on children? Essay sample below is what you need! Learn here about the causes and bad consequences of divorce on children’s future family life. Whether you need ideas, inspiration, or an example of a conclusion for divorce essay, you will find it here.

Negative Effects of Divorce on Children: Essay Introduction

Divorce is the act of dissolving or terminating a marriage between two people before the death of one partner thus rendering the marriage null and void. Divorce frees one of legal responsibilities and duties that he/she was previously bound to by the union of marriage. It also frees one of marriage with another person. Divorce in the society happens for different reasons depending on the individual cases.

Different authorities that have a legal authority to allow the dissolution of the marriage (Isle, 2012, Para. 4) carry out the process. These authorities might be religious, government arms, or traditional settings depending on the laws of marriage to which the partners subscribed. As the paper reveals, regardless of the reason behind any divorce case, the children of the divorced parents feel a remarkable effect.

The Effect of Divorce on Child: Essay Body

The effects that children have after a divorce may be psychological, social, and or emotional because each divorce case tends to be unique in its own way though divorces can be grouped into different broad categories: at fault divorce, no fault divorce, summary divorce, uncontested divorce, collaborative divorce, and mediated divorce.

Specific reasons that might come under the above broad groups may include unfaithfulness in marriage, lack of commitment in marriage by one or both partners, irreconcilable differences, abusive marriage, distance, and a partner developing interest in getting married to a different person (Amato, 2003, p. 605).

At the end of the day, divorce has its own effects towards the divorcing couples and the people around them especially their families and children.

When a divorce happens to a couple who have children, it stops being an issue concerning two people only. It becomes an issue concerning them and their children because, in society, children’s interest and wellbeing are paramount and hence a responsibility of any person with a legal age.

When a divorce happens between a married couple with children, the interest of the children have to be secured as provided for by the law so that they do not end up suffering as a consequence of the divorce.

Though the wellbeing of children seem secured, in case of a divorce, children tend to be affected in different ways both negatively and positively because it always has psychological effects on them. The extent of the impact of a break up on a kid will at times relate with the age of the kids at the time of the separation.

For instance, though a toddler may not comprehend the issues going on then, they tend to sense it within their parents, “as their parents’ energy levels and mood tend to shift” (Douglas, 2005, p.49). This leads to the infants’ reaction in different ways based on their instincts that may be observed. There might be a change in the sleeping patterns of the baby as well as their eating habits.

The baby might become so fussy with lots of mood swings, which were unusual to the baby before. Regression can also be viewed in the baby with the baby unlearning the skills it had acquired before. Either the baby may become slow in gaining weight, cutting the gained weight, or stagnating. The baby may also be slow in development (Douglas, 2005, p.50).

For the best welfare of the child, the parents should try as much as possible to maintain the previous routine between them and the child so as not to upset the balance in the child’s life.

Divorce happening to parents with pre-school children tends to affect the children in such a way that they will always feel it as if it their mistake led to their parents’ moving apart. This leads to their feeling insecure by always wanting to be around an adult and not wanting to be left alone.

They have the fear that they might be abandoned. They develop a friendly nature. They also tend to become angered by small things, which can be attributed to mood swings. In some instances, kids who had stopped wetting beds will start again (Temke, 2006, p. 2). All these are psychological, and are often due to their searching for the answer as to why daddy no longer lives with mummy.

A divorce occurring when a child is an adolescent or a teen usually leaves him/her with lots of mental torture. The teenagers in this case feel embarrassed at the prospect of belonging to a broken family because societal norms advocate for a complete continuous family. This makes them frustrated and angry thus making them resort to activities that would give them solace.

Some might indulge in drugs while others might indulge actively in sports as a way of ventilating their frustrations to release some pent up energies. Teens tend to be affected a lot because they understand the reasons for their parents’ divorce. This is worse off because they are so helpless to stop the divorce thus ending up frustrated. Divorce comes with divisions in the family.

At times, they are forced to lay blame on one party whom they believe is the cause of the divorce (Elizabeth, 2006, p. 19). This leads to their division as to which side they should take. At the same time, it also comes with new responsibilities for teenagers who might be forced to cope with the different changes happening in their lives on their own on issues like sexual feelings.

The teenagers might also grow up to dislike the institution of marriage by growing doubts on whether they will ever want to get married or whether they could stay in a marriage. A good example of a divorce victim is the musician Enrique Iglesias who feels that there is no point of getting married because, at some point, the marriage might break up. Enrique’s dad had so many marriages, which kept on breaking up.

This informed his decision not to get married. In general, divorce might have lifelong effects to children when it happens as they witness it. Children who grow up in a divorced marriage tend to develop manipulative behaviors. This case happens when there is competition between the two parents when one wants the children to see him/her as being better than the other.

They will therefore shower their kids with favors as a way of winning them over. The moment the kids come to discover what their parents are up to, they will start making demands besides playing the parents against each other. At the back of their minds, they have the knowledge that one parent will definitely give them what the other has refused to give.

This might go on into their adult lives thus giving them undesirable characters. Children growing up in a divorced family might not have a lot of respect for the institution of marriage. They would easily walk out of a marriage in the future with the belief that, after all, their parents’ marriage did not work.

The psychological impact that always afflicts children when they have to attend court sessions to hear out the differences between their parents can be great (Chase, 2010, p.211). This leads to lose of self-esteem in children because they will always be embarrassed by the courtroom drama and the prospect of the news becoming public among their peers.

In many cases, children wish that they were not there to face the situation thus preferring to move away from the area they are staying to a new place where people do not know about their skeletons in the closet.

The children would also ask that they change schools and their complete social setting just to run away from what has happened to their parents. Some children would always wish that their parents got back together. They would do everything in their power to push or convince their parents to come back together.

Conclusion about Divorce

In conclusion, divorce affects children in the family psychologically and in a negative way. It is in very few instances that one would find a child who was not negatively affected even though it was the only thing that would guarantee them peace and survival. There is always that thought in the children that things should have worked out differently.

Therefore, to save the children on the effects of divorce, there is the need for parents to cultivate some good relations by nurturing everything that strengthens their love bond besides involving their children in matters that convince them positively that marriage is the best institution that every person ought to join when time comes.

Reference List

Amato, P. (2003). People’s Reasons for divorcing. Journal of Family issues, 24(5), 602- 626.

Chase, K. (2010). Dicken and the Rise of Divorce: The Failed Marriage Plot and the Novel Tradition. Victorian Institute Journal, 38(1), 211-214.

Douglas, L. (2005). The Binuclear Family Boom. Library Journal, 130(14), 49-50.

Elizabeth, M. (2006). No Good Divorce. Christian Century, 123(3), 18-23.

Isle, I. (2012). Legal Separation Grounds for Divorce: The Legal Process. Retrieved from http://www.divorceaid.co.uk/legal/process.htm

Temke, M. (2006). The Effect of Divorce On Children, Family & Consumer Resources. Hampshire: University of Hampshire Cooperative Extension.

Over time, the family, which is regarded as one of the oldest and most significant social institutions, inevitably has undergone some changes. For instance, for many centuries, it was nearly impossible for people to get a divorce. This situation started to be the other way around by the 19th century when the governments of many countries decided to adopt laws that allowed ordinary people to divorce.

Nowadays, people have the legal right to break up with their husbands and wives, and from the point of law, they have no problem getting a divorce. However, in the modern world, the rate of divorces is incredibly high and continues to increase rapidly. Moreover, there is a wide variety of reasons for getting a divorce, such as a spouse’s unfaithfulness, constant quarrels, issues related to abuse, lack of spouse’s attention, and many others. In the present research paper, the causes of the high divorce rate are going to be observed.

What Are the Common Reasons for Getting a Divorce?

As was already mentioned in the introduction, divorces are becoming more and more common in modern society. At this point, various scholars have conducted many types of research, the aim of which was determining the causes of that phenomenon. According to the data presented in Divorce: A Psychological Study by Shelly Day Sclater, more than 25% of couples married in the period between the late 70s and early 80s decided to get a divorce by the end of 1994 (Sclater 6).

Moreover, the scholar singles out the possible causes of divorce: most divorces (54%) granted to women are connected to allegations and irrational behavior, while the reason for most of those (37%) given to men is adultery (Sclater 6). From that evidence, it can be concluded that there is a gender distinction of grounds for divorces since they vary for women and men.

Is It Possible to Count the Frequency of Divorces?

It is beyond argument that the abovementioned study cannot be considered sole possessor of the truth, being that scholars hold to the various views. The second point of view, which is going to be observed in the present research paper, is that of the anthropologist John Arundel Barnes. According to Barnes, it is difficult to pick only one adjective or index to describe the reasons for separation since it is a complex social issue (Barnes 98). In the study, the scholar analyses data about spouses that may have some impact on divorce (for instance, age of spouses at marriage, their religion, number of children they had, and some others) (Barnes 98).

Barnes claims that there is some interrelation between the collected data and divorce frequency; however, the scholar cannot say under what circumstances divorce is more likely to happen because this phenomenon varies from one society to another (Barnes 98). In this essay, the focus of the study is on the frequency of divorce. Nevertheless, the information presented by Barnes helps to understand the dependence between the divorce rate and social factors.

The third study to refer to is a scientific article on demography, Breaking Up Is Hard to Count: The Rise of Divorce in the United States, 1980-2010, written by two scholars Sheela Kennedy and Steven Ruggles. This study presents the data on divorce trends in the US. According to the research results, Kennedy and Ruggles found out that the number of divorces among people over the age of 35 doubled during the past two decades (Kennedy, Ruggles 587).

On the other hand, they claim that younger couples decide to get a divorce much less frequently than older ones (Kennedy, Ruggles 587). In addition to that, scholars make reference to Cherlin, who did not support the idea according to which problems in family life, related to ‘frequent entrance into and dissolution of formal marriages and informal cohabiting unions’ are the basic feature of American families (Kennedy, Ruggles 598). They believe that their study results represent the growth of the family life turbulence (Kennedy, Ruggles 598). This article can be considered evidence of divorce rate evolution as it provides data on the divorces that took place in the US during the three decades.

Conclusion

All things considered, divorce still remains to be common in modern society. The causes for it can be different, being that of allegations, inappropriate behavior of one of the spouses, lack of attention, issues related to the financial side of family life, adultery, or even some violent incidents. However, it should be mentioned that sometimes reasons for getting a divorce are strongly associated with the gender of the spouse, and some of them are regarded to be purely feminine or masculine. Furthermore, scholars have conducted studies related not only to the causes of divorce but also to their frequency.

While some scholars claim that it is nearly impossible to design a unique formula to calculate the divorce rates in any country since every community differs from the others, other scholars believe that the frequency of divorce can be successfully counted.

Works Cited

Barnes, John Arundel. “The Frequency of Divorce.” The Craft of Social Anthropology, edited by Arnold Leonard Epstein, Routledge, 2017, pp. 47-100.

Kennedy, Sheela, and Steven Ruggles. “Breaking Up Is Hard to Count: The Rise of Divorce in the United States, 1980–2010.” Demography, vol. 51, no. 2, 2014, pp. 587-598.

Sclater, Shelley Day. Divorce: A Psychosocial Study. Routledge, 2017.

Introduction

Divorce is the legally authorized and ultimate termination of a matrimonial bond. There is a range of motives why couples choose the Option of divorce. Psychotherapists mention dilemmas with pairs getting separated, detested and unappreciated emotions, the difference in aims, difficulties with money, and sometimes sexual relationships as the foremost stimulants for divorce. (SIRS Knowledge 1)

Bases of Divorce

Present divorce laws have been formulated mainly from religious imperatives. Such as, in Australia, Canada, New Zealand, the United Kingdom, and the United States, divorce rules are based on Christian belief. In these countries, divorce was usually allowed to the innocent spouse only, till around 1900. This was also only on the basis of any matrimonial offense committed by any of the two, such as desertion, adultery, and cruelty. Later in the 1960s people began to adopt a more copious approach to divorce that what so ever may the reason be, there is no point to continue an unsuccessful and marriage.

Divorce Rules in the United States

All states of the United States follow different rules for divorce which are applicable only to the legal residents of the states. States laws present the grounds for divorce i.e., the causes for which the divorce is asked for. Thus on the basis of these reasons divorce is classified into:

• Fault divorce includes reasons like drug addiction, alcoholism, adultery, desertion, mental or corporal torture, imprisonment for criminal acts, and failure to afford financial support.
• No-Fault Divorce is not based on the above reasons but is granted only when spouses prove their relationship as unsuccessful. This type of divorce was first adopted by California in 1969, where divorce is granted on two main grounds:

1. 1. Incompatible differences
   2. Untreatable lunacy of a partner. (Nock 1of 1)

A divorce lawyer, who also writes “The Divorce Lawyers’ Guide to Staying Married”, recently gave an interview to AOL Book Maven Bethanne Patrick. In this interview, she has presented nine symptoms of divorce on the basis of her own experience. These are:

1. Sexual relationship
2. Unrealistic expectation
3. Financial matters
4. Communication gap
5. Over control of one spouse
6. Physical addictions and mental challenges
7. Remarriage
8. Differences in goals, hobbies, and interest
9. Lack of commitment. (Jaffe 1-2)

As Phillips comments (ix) divorce has become the general associate of matrimony at the core of the western marriage structure, for divorce, as well has never been so prevalent in the western part of the world as it has become in the current t era “. As Phillips suggests, scholars must find out the historic extraction of divorce to understand the ever-increasing frequency of divorce in the USA as compared to the past.

A Brief Historical Backdrop of Divorce

Opposing the conservative perception, the occurrence of divorce in current American society is not totally unparalleled. Anthropologists state rates of parting and remarriage amongst several hunting and gathering civilizations, and in a number of horticultural groupings also, they are as high as in contemporary developed societies.

Divorce has not always been a strenuous process. In the Shoshone Indians’ culture, a wife who required a divorce would merely put her husband’s belongings out of the house. In the Cewa civilization of East Africa, the man obtains his ax, hoe, and sleeping rug when he departs his wife’s town and the process of divorce is accomplished. In conventional Japanese society, a specific letter of three and a half lines was all a husband required to divorce his wife. Wives, conversely, had to submit two years long service at an exclusive holy place before getting the divorce. (Coontz 1)

The first on paper divorce set of laws were instituted in the ancient Babylonian, System of Hammurabi. Numerous early cultures allowed only men to obtain a divorce. The early Christians educated that marriage was a perpetual relation until death, and they eradicated divorce in the regions they controlled. They also organized exclusive church courts to manage the marriage affairs.. (Nock 1of 1).

The matrimony and separation institutions of the West are derivative of primeval Hebrew and Roman resources. In Jewish law, a woman didn’t hold the privilege to divorce her spouse, but she was entitled to remarry if her husband divorced her. This is evidenced in Deuteronomy that when a man marries a woman if then she obtains no support in his consideration because he has felt some inappropriateness in her; he may give her a written statement of divorce and send her away from his life. But she has the right of remarrying reserved.

Marriage was not a legal procedure in the Roman Empire. A man and woman wishing to be life partners could start living jointly in an undeviating family unit. The only permissible conditions were that the partners must be adults and should live together with the consent of their families. Both the husband and the wife owned their individual properties. Any of them could bring an end to the marriage, the only legal formality was apparent intend to divorce like a written statement or an official letter. (Bohannan 1)

A marriage could be canceled, nevertheless, if any of the precise conditions of canon law for a legitimate marriage had been dishonored and both the spouses A distinct convention existed in England. When Henry VIII broke away from Catholicism the primitive Christian rules of Rome initiated to put marriage and divorce under the power of the law. King Justinian, the founder of the Roman Empire, is said to be the “Law-Giver” in the 6^th century. He made an effort to put divorce under the Church but could not impose it on account of the public demonstration. According to the Christian church matrimonial bond was unbreakable.

The Canon law was reinforced in Christian countries of Europe, related to marriage and divorce, during the middle ages. Under this law, divorce was not permissible in usual cases. Only in some evident cases of extreme adultery and cruelty, separation, “Divorce from bed and board” was allowed. Both the spouses could remarry then.

In the 16^th century, when the Protestants including Martin Luther broke away from the Roman church, they assumed a distinctive prospect of marriage. They called it “an outer sophisticated thing, dependent on worldly influence, just like clothing and foodstuff, house and field.”The Protestants, consequently, allowed divorce on a certain basis, i.e., adultery, cruelty, or desertion.

Church, legislative divorce was established. It could be availed through the parliament instead of any court, requiring a separate act of the House of Lords. Thus, the process of divorce became expensive and inaccessible even for the middle class. This system was sustained till the establishment of the “Court for Divorce and Matrimonial Causes” by the parliament in 1857. (Bohannan 1).

Divorce in the United States:

Since 1960 there is a dramatic upward trend in US divorce rates.

Connoisseurs have recommended several motives for this raise:

1. Divorce is more generally tolerable than it was in the past.
2. Numerous people anticipate more of marriage than previous generations so they may be easily disappointed.
3. Better career opportunities are open to women. Thus, women are less financially reliant on their husbands.
4. Amendments in divorce laws have made the divorce process convenient and accessible.

The divorce rate is much elevated in the USA than in any other country. Generally, urban areas have a higher divorce rate than the countryside. The rate also differs among different states and areas, partially because of the difference in divorce laws and court practices. But the rates most likely vary because of the distinct social, economic, ethnic, and religious structure of the population. Usually, people with less professional jobs and with low earnings have a higher divorce rate than people on professional jobs and better earnings. But, the farmers who also belong to the nonprofessional group have the lowest divorce rate. The majority of researches show that dark pairs and pairs comprising of a black and a white have higher divorce rates than white couples.

Among the three main religious classifications in the United States, Protestants, Roman Catholics, and Jews. Roman Catholics hold the lowest divorce rate and Protestants the highest. The Catholic Church sticks to the belief that legitimate marriages cannot be adjourned. Its members are allowed to obtain a civil divorce to resolve matters like child custody or finances. But remarriage is not allowed even after such a divorce; whereas, Judaism and most Protestant groups allow divorce. Various surveys reveal that Christian-Jewish couples and Catholic-Protestant couples possess a higher divorce rate than couples of the same religious conviction. (Nock 2)

Works Cited

Bohannan, Paul.”Divorce“. Grolier Multimedia Encyclopedia. 2008. Grolier Online. 2008. Web.

Coontz, Stephanie. “The Origins of Modern Divorce”. 2007. Web.

Jaffe, Wendy. “The Nine Symptoms of Divorce”. 2008. Web.

Nock, Steven L. “Divorce”. 2008. World Book Online Center. Web.

Phillips, Roderick. “Untying the Knot: A Brief History of Divorce”. Cambridge University Press. 1991.

Sirs Knowledge. “Divorce”. 2008. Web.