Category: Communication in Relationships

Communication is the key to professionalism; the reason why communication is the key to professionalism is that ever since I have been introduced to the world outside of high school, I have been forced to develop my communication skills. At first, I was confused as to why that is important. In fact, I began to question the importance of the way I deliver my message – which shouldn’t be important as long as I get to the point right? I was dead wrong. Communication is important, regardless of the industry you are in. Whether that would be the engineering industry, the business industry, or the superhero industry; if that is a thing.

Delivering your message in a professional tone is necessary in order to reduce misinterpretation. Personally, I would consider professional communication as a way of delivering your message in an efficient and competent way. Communication consists of three common elements people seem to overlook; body language, attitude, and interpretation. Those three elements, if used correctly, would enable the common man to set an impression and deliver a message efficiently with their dignity intact. Unfortunately, in order for “the common man” to set an impression and deliver a message efficiently, they may have to train for those skills for some time.

Communication will surely allow me, “the common man” to do so. I expect myself to be trained in skills to enable the delivery of my messages to be efficient and impression worthy, that said, I may have to rely on you for guidance. I expect my instructor to be an open book, in terms of their course. A communication professor should walk into a classroom or a lecture hall with the intentions of delivering their own experiences with communication in the various work fields they have been a part of.

Fortunately, you display an excellent amount of character along with the pure motive to share your experiences, which is very much appreciated. Along with guidance, learning how to communicate involves being involved: Speaking in group discussions, working with various groups, attempting and succeeding the completion of assignments. I plan to involve myself in ways to leave as more than just “the common man”, but a student with a part of myself striving to guide others on their journey with communication. Communication is regarded by many students as an easy course. I believe nothing is easy as long as you try your best, and it should be like that. If every literate individual considered COMM to be an easy course, not very many people would learn. I wish to explore communication and end this semester as more than just “the common man”.

How can we live without social media today? We are in a world where our phones are the very first and last thing we see every morning and night, it’s no big surprise social media can affect our relationships, both online and offline. Social media has had one of the deepest effects on society. It is useful to all classes of people, but on certain occasions, it has proven to be harmful. In the United States today, you’re statistically more likely to use social media than not — by a lot. Approximately 77 percent of all Americans have a social media profile of some kind.

Social media platforms enable people to make new friends and find new interests. It also enables them to associate with an enormous gathering of individuals who offer similar interests as theirs. People who are not very comfortable with face-to-face interactions or who suffer from social anxiety usually fail to make good friends. Social media can assist give them a genuine opportunity to hide their shyness and restraints to make it easier for them to create new friends. Social media has likewise made it feasible for individuals from various countries to create powerful relationships. You can associate with people from different countries and know more about them, their culture, and their way of life. Social media has made it possible for an individual to share his/her updates instantly with other people. Social media websites allow an individual to create a profile that would perfectly describe him and show the individual’s preferences. This is incredibly helpful in knowing whether you would be well-suited for that person or not. Social media also helps you to network in an effective manner from the bounds of your home.

Using social media nowadays has made it simpler for everybody to do everything really. It has made it very easy in a wide range of settings, for example, workplace, school, home, and everywhere else. Perhaps one of the most important advantages of social media would need to be the way we communicate with others. When communicating through social media, you can send and receive messages at any time and anywhere from anyone as long as you are connected to the Internet via Wi-Fi or 4G. There would be no need for payphones and landlines when everyone today has a smartphone. Social media is incredible for remaining connected with family and friends and sharing intriguing and significant parts of our lives. It keeps us connected over the world and causes us to find our friends or relatives that we had not spoken to in a long time. The ability to have the option to speak with others from various parts of the world is stunning. Communication between people that have long-distance relationships was very hard without social media because they would not be able to talk to each other as frequently and easily. Now social media has provided many ways for them to stay in touch. You can have live video conversations with multiple people in any country such as Skype at any time.

We live in a period where feelings are openly shared and posted on social media, notwithstanding the conclusion of the feeling shared. Sharing our feelings and emotions with each other helps create and build stronger interpersonal bonds between each other, which starts relationships. When we get together with a friend and disclose to them we are feeling awful, we are opening up to them in a way that empowers them to open up accordingly. This starts a reciprocal procedure that unites us closer together and makes friendships stronger. The procedure can likewise enable our feelings to return to their ordinary state when they are out of balance. This isn’t because discussing our emotions is soothing, but because we get feedback, support, and validation from the people we converse with.

Regardless of the popularity of social media platforms and the way quickly, we’ve inserted them into our lives, there’s a remarkable loss of clear statistics approximately how they affect us, in my opinion: our behaviors, our social relationships, and our mental health. Research has related the use of social media to despair, anxiety, poorer sleep quality, lower self-esteem, and inattention— frequently in teens and youngsters. The writer Leslie Shore stated: “Research shows that, on average, we spend two or more hours a day on social media”. Also, Jordyn Young, a co-author of the paper and a senior at Pennsylvania College stated: “What we found overall is that if you use less social media, you are actually less depressed and less lonely, meaning that the decreased social media use is what causes that qualitative shift in your well-being”.

In a way, social media pulls us apart. Take, for example, family relationships. Family gatherings now establish a get-together of family members that only sit silently using their smartphones, hardly talking with each other face to face. Instead, it’s ironic how they focus more on sharing a picture of themselves with their family members than actually participating in this event itself, but nowadays this has become a norm and an ordinary sight. Social media has nearly destroyed family life in so many ways. We prefer to update our followers with what is happening in our life at that moment on social media than converse with our siblings or parents.

It’s very likely that you have been with a friend recently and were trying to fight for their attention while they were just scrolling through their Instagram or posting on Facebook, and you would feel ignored or lonely. Antonia Hall, a psychologist, relationship expert, and the author of ‘The Ultimate Guide to a Multi-Orgasmic Life’ says: “We’re forgetting how to just BE with one another, engaging and interacting without taking pictures, posting, and checking social media”. It’s becoming too common to disregard the humans around us in actual life, opting rather to provide our interest to social media streams. You can easily get carried away while using social media since it is very addicting, therefore hurting your relationship with that person, so it is very important to know what time is appropriate to use social media and what time is not.

These are just a few of the ways social media affects our relationships described in this essay. On the one hand, they really brought us together, but on the other hand, they pulled us apart, clearly damaging our relationship rather than strengthening it. There is no denying both the positive and negative effects on a person, but each of us must make a choice to use it effectively. So, in my opinion, it is best that we focus on how to make the best use of social media and not let it destroy our relationships.

Behavioural Communication is defined as a psychological construct which influences individual differences in the expression of feelings, needs, and thoughts as a substitute for more direct and open communication. Specifically, it refers to people’s tendency to express feelings, needs, and thoughts by means of indirect messages and behavioral impacts. It can be argued that much of our communication is, in fact, non-verbal. Different types of communication behavior Aggressive: Aggression is defined as an unplanned act of anger in which the aggressor intends to hurt someone or something. Aggressive communicators typically feel a strong sense of inadequacy, have a lack of empathy and believe the only way to get their needs met is through power and control. Behaviors often seen during aggressive communication include: putting others down, overpowering others, not showing appreciation, rushing others unnecessarily, ignoring others, not considering other’s feelings, intimidating others, and speaking in a condescending manner. Nonverbal behaviors exhibited during aggressive communication include: frowning, critical glares, rigid posture, trying to stand over others, using a loud voice and fast speech.

Assertiveness: Assertiveness is described as the ability to appropriately expresses your own wants and feelings. Individuals who engage in assertive communication are open to hearing the opinions of others, without criticizing their opinions, and feel comfortable enough to express their own opinions as well. Behaviors that may be present when an individual is engaging in assertive communication include: being open when expressing their thoughts and feelings, encouraging others to openly express their own opinions and feelings, listening to other’s opinions and appropriately responding to them, accepting responsibilities, being action-orientated, being able to admit mistakes. Passive: Passive communication involves not expressing one’s own thoughts or feelings and putting their needs last in an attempt to keep others happy. There are many behavioral characteristics identified with this communication style. These behavioral characteristics include, but are not limited to: actively avoiding confrontation, difficulty taking responsibilities or making decisions, agreeing with someone else’s preferences, refusing compliments, sighing a lot, asking permission unnecessarily, and blaming others. There are also many non-verbal behaviors that reflect passive communication.

Typically, individuals engaging in a passive communication style have a soft voice, speaking hesitantly, and make themselves very small. They also tend to fidget and avoid eye contact. They typically possess feelings of anxiety, depression, resentfulness, feelings of powerlessness, and confusion Passive aggressive: It has aspects of both passive and aggressive communication. A passive-aggressive individual exposes their anger through means of procrastination, being exaggeratedly forgetful, and or being intentionally inefficient. This use of communication shows a few behavioral characteristics such as sarcasm, being unreliable, frequent complaining, sulking, patronizing, and gossiping. In order to not show their anger, they may conceal it with an innocent facial expression. Cognitive communication model is to do with the processes of your brain and brain activity.

Cognitive communication skills that are important are attention, memory, problemsolving, organization and memory flexibility. These are important because they mean its easier to communicate such as attention means you have to keep focused and keep your brain focused in the conversation. Also having memory flexibility means you can put the more important information you need to remember before anything Psychoanalytical communication theory was first introduced by a trained Sigmund Freud. Through the analysis, he found a person personality can be evaluated off a person’s past experiences as these characterize a person behavior and shape us. Psychoanalytic theories are a complex set of theories and principles to understand and to study the human behavior, personality, logic, and thoughts of a person.

The principles of effective communication are general skills, interpersonal skills, and written communication skills. To succeed in this employment agency industry you need to follow to these principles. These are skills that can be built up from time to time and it helps communicate effectively in the workplace both verbally and in written format (Writer, 2013).

According to Gonzalez (2018), interpersonal skills are capabilities to effectively communicate, socialize, connect, and cooperate with people in life, whether it be an individual or a group. Some people naturally have great interpersonal skills. Others have to learn and practice interpersonal skills in order to master them. Example of the interpersonal skill is using: Techniques & Cues When a verbally communicating change of tone is necessary. Speaking in a lowered voice may show fear or even insecurity. Speaking in a raised voice may indicate anger or impatience. When communicating face to face, body language is very important. Folded arms may be hard to avoid, but it shows that you are not interested in what’s going on, but in this case, what is being said.

Even though you may be speaking to someone through a telephone, it is still possible that they can identify your emotion through the tone of your voice, for instance, if you were to be speaking in a dull uninterested voice, the person you are speaking to may be offended as you are not even bothered to help them (eduCBA, 2016).

This form of communication is reliable and it can be used to reach multiple individuals all at once. Written communication skill is the best way to convey technical information. Example of the written communication skill are: Key messages .All forms of communication whether it be a report, letter, fax or Email there will be a key message to be conveyed. In letters, this may be flagged in the heading. Grammar and spelling .It is important to check your spelling and grammar. As mistakes make work look unprofessional and convey the wrong image. Word processing packages such as Microsoft Word offer a built-in spell-checker which will check for incorrectly spelled words and punctuation.

All cultural differences between you and your audience need to be addressed. Some signs are acceptable in one language but not in the other so you might choose to use different words or gestures to the ones you would normally use.

To keep your audience interested you must apply various techniques. Varying the tone of your voice is one of them. Other ways of creating interest are to give a short pause or even vary the length of your sentence to create different effects. Provide headings and bullet lists or break the message up into smaller manageable pieces.

Introduction

Currently, one in three adults suffers from one or more chronic conditions (Marengoni et al., 2011). A chronic illness is defined as a disease lasting three months or more that cannot typically be cured by medication or vaccination (Blackwell, Lucas & Clarke, 2014). If a prognosis is perceived as catastrophic it is more likely to result in negative psychological consequences such as depression, a decline in the ability to cope for both the patient and their support network (Taylor., 1983; Affleck & Tennen., 1996). A diagnosis of and consequent adjustment to a chronic condition can have a particularly significant effect on romantic relationships; altering normal communication (Eriksson & Svedlund, 2006). The primary focus of this research is investigating the reliability and validity of the Couples Illness Communication Scale (CICS; Arden‐Close, Moss‐Morris, Dennison, Bayne, & Gidron, 2010) in the chronic headache population.

After a diagnosis of a chronic condition maintaining an open and responsive dialogue encourages effective communication between couples; consequently, increasing relationship satisfaction and decreasing distress (Berg and Upchurch, 2007; Laurenceau, Barrett & Pietromonaco, 1998). However, couples coping with chronic illnesses commonly struggle with this (Martire, & Helgeson, 2017). Conversely, ‘demand withdraw communication’ whereby one partner attempts to discuss a stressor and the other withdraws, and ‘mutual avoidance’ of discussing the illness, increases distress levels and decreases relationship satisfaction (Manne et al, 2006).

Couple communication is always important in romantic relationships however, when one partner suffers from a chronic illness communication becomes essential. This is due to illness-related changes such as diagnosis or treatment which have a direct negative effect on marital satisfaction (Berg & Upchurch, 2007; Bogosian, Moss-Morris, Yardley, & Dennison, 2009).

Badhr, Carmack, Kashy, Cristofanilli & Revenson (2010) demonstrated the benefits of mutually constructive illness communication in the cancer population. Couples who viewed the diagnosis as a couple-related stressor as opposed to an individual stressor, consequently communicated more freely about it and experienced increased relationship satisfaction. Similarly, couples who used more illness-related problem focussed coping strategies and less avoidance displayed better mental health, higher rated relationship satisfaction, and lesser levels of stress (Ptacek, Ptacek & Dodge., 1994; Kayser, Watson & Andrade., 2007). This highlights the importance of monitoring how effectively couples are communicating, as it could provide insight into of how both partners are coping with the adjustment to illness.

Chronic illness should be understood as an intra-dyadic problem as both spouses face with numerous challenges throughout the illness trajectory. Understanding illness-related couple communication from a dyadic perspective requires consideration of the interrelationship between multiple psychosocial illness-related factors and how this will impact both patients and partners (Goldsmith., 2015).

A strong social support network is beneficial when coping with the difficulties that accompany a chronic health condition (Gallant, 2003) with some studies naming a lack of social support as a larger stressor than the health condition itself (Thoman-Touet & Kay, 1992). This emphasizes the importance of interpersonal support in the presence of a chronic health condition. Although social support can come from a variety of sources, a lack of support from a partner cannot be substituted by others (Pistrang and Barker., 1995), demonstrating the importance of extradyadic support in the context of illness.

Perceived stress is defined as the thoughts that one may have about the levels of stress that they are under, the level of stress that is caused when encountering various stressors and how well equipped one feels to deal with the stressors in their lives (Allott et al., 2013). Chronic illness has been shown to increase perceived stress; headache patients reported a higher number of daily stresses and rated those events as more stressful in comparison to general population ratings of the same stressors. (Holoroyd et al., 2000). Studies have shown that the detrimental effects of stress in couples can be mitigated by effectively communicating (Lau, Randall, Duran & Tao., 2019).

Stress communication is the process by which partners are able to convey and understand each other’s stressful experiences (Bodenmann, 1995; Bodenmann., 1997; Revensen, Kayser & Bodenmann., 2005) however in the context of chronic illness, poorer communication and higher levels of relationship conflict are reported in couples due to increased stress (Bahr, 1979; Lavee, McCubbin & Olsen, 1987; Neff and Karney, 2004). These negative effects were still found to be prominent even in the absence of headaches (Lipton et al, 2003). Additionally, couples reported feelings of obligation to stay in an ‘unhappy’ relationship and endure illness-related stress within their relationship (Parker, 1993).

Research shows there is often a disparity in how the patient and partner perceive and cope with the adjustments that are necessary to deal with the condition, with both spouses reporting similar feelings but from their own perspectives (Revenson & Majerovitz., 1991). Across a range of chronic health conditions, Health-Related Quality of Life (HRQoL) differed among couples, with some studies finding patients had a worse HRQoL (Kornblith, Herr, Ofman, Scher & Holland, 1994) and other studies finding that spouses reported worse HRQoL (Thommasen & Zhang, 2006). However, enhancing communication has been shown to improve perceived HRQoL (Lim & Shon., 2018).

The research above indicates communication is an important factor in coping with a chronic illness however, investigating illness-related couples communication is vital as even couples who have a good relationship in other respects may not discuss the patient’s illness (Boehmer & Clark, 2001; Holmberg, Scott, Alexy, & Fife, 2001). General couple’s communication is measured on questionnaires such as the Evaluation and Nurturing Relationship Issues, Communication and Happiness couples scale (Fowers and Olsen., 1998). However, the context of illness may have specific dyadic implications, unrelated to general couple’s communication and therefore it is important to develop scales that can assess this such as the CICS (Arden Close et al., 2010).

There is plentiful evidence citing the importance of good illness-related couple communication however, there is a gap in the literature with regard to the type of chronic illness studied. Chronic daily headache (CDH) is a descriptive term that includes all headache disorders that occur for 15 or more days per month. CDHs are estimated to affect around 4% of the population (Olesen, Bousser, Diener, Dodick & First., 2006). Buse et al (2016) reported that around one-third of partners of patients with episodic migraine (EM) and 50% of those with chronic migraine (CM) avoided their spouse because of their illness and its consequences such as arguments. Effects of this avoidance were explored by Smith (1998) who found that 24% of individuals with CM reported an effect on their sexual relationships, 3-6% required relationship counseling and 5% reported separation or divorce due to migraine. Despite this significant negative impact, there is little literature reporting how headache conditions affect illness couple’s communication. More research is needed to understand the extradyadic effects; this would be beneficial to both the patient’s and their partner’s well-being. Difficulties communicating about the illness is not isolated to the patient alone; Hilton & Koop (1994) reported that spouses rarely divulge their feelings about their partner’s illness so as not to burden or concern the patient, further reducing spousal satisfaction. This highlights the importance of measures that provide insight into both couple’s perspectives such as the CICS (Arden Close et al., 2010).

The CICS was developed by Arden Close et al (2010) to provide an insight into couples’ willingness to discuss their illness intradyadically and measure illness-related couple communication. The findings of this study suggested that it was important to understand a couple’s communication when one partner is suffering from a chronic illness related couples in order to improve the couple’s adjustment to the illness.

The CICS specifically measures illness-related couple’s communication and has been tested in life-threatening illnesses (Ovarian cancer) and chronic progressive disease (Multiple Sclerosis; MS) reporting high levels of internal consistency, reliability, and validity within these populations (Arden‐Close et al., 2010). However, it has not been tested within a sample of patients suffering from a chronic stable conditions such as headache disorders. This study aims to build upon the existing literature by testing the reliability and validity of the CICS in the headache population in order to increase the generalisability of the scale.

It is hypothesized that:

1. Better illness-related couple communication will be associated with better reported social support.
2. Lower levels of stress will be reported in participants who report more effective illness-related couple communication.
3. Higher levels of relationship satisfaction will be associated with more effective couple communication.
4. Lower levels of perceived health-related quality of life (HRQoL) will be associated with poorer illness-related couple communication.
5. Those who perceive their illness as more threatening are likely to have worse couple communication.

Communication for Health Care Work

i.

Health care workers (HCW) in a community care setting have a duty to promote patient confidentiality. It is both parts of good care practice, and essential to building a strong relationship between the HCW and the patient. Everybody has a right to have their personal details kept confidential. It is ‘seen as a fundamental ethical principle in healthcare and a breach of confidentiality can be a reason for disciplinary action’ (UK Clinical Ethics Network, 2011).

There are many ethical obligations surrounding confidentiality. They include respect for autonomy which is allowing the patient to control their own decisions and rights over their personal information.

Non-maleficence instructs the HCW to avoid causing harm to the patient regarding confidentiality such as sharing information that could damage the individual’s reputation.

Justice relates to abiding by the law and respecting a person’s human rights. There are laws that help safeguard personal information such as the Data Protection Act 2018 (DPA) and the Welsh Accord for the Sharing of Personal Information (WASPI). To uphold the DPA, any information should only be shared on the basis that it is necessary and shared only with those who have a need for it, accurate and up to date, shared securely and in a timely fashion, and not kept for longer than necessary for the original purpose. To uphold WASPI, the minimum necessary information on a need-to-know basis can be shared with the patient’s consent but if there is a risk, information can be shared without consent. These laws are in place to also ensure equality and for patients to be treated fairly.

Beneficence is a principle that helps HCWs to balance the benefits and harms of disclosure of personal information against non-disclosure. This must be specific to the individual, as what is good for one patient may not be beneficial for another There are certain circumstances when a breach of confidentiality can happen. Confidentiality can be breached if it is to protect the patient’s best interests or if you have information that may lead to harm to the patient. The Public Interest Disclosure Act (1998) law is there to protect the HCW who raises a concern.

ii.

Verbal and non-verbal communication is about understanding the emotion and intentions behind the information, according to HelpGuide (2019a). They play an important role in sharing information and developing a positive relationship in community care.

When using verbal communication in a community care setting, there are several issues an HCW would have to consider as each individual is unique. Some consist of the length and complexity of the sentences, formality of language style, using colloquialisms, language and style of the communication must match the patient. An example of this could be if the patient were a child and had a limited understanding.

Talking with complex and lengthy sentences may not be beneficial in that circumstance, but short words which are easy to understand may be the best route. But if the patient were an adult with a better understanding, lengthy sentences may be a better option. An HCW must also consider the use of paralanguage. PhysicianLeadership (2017) states that the tone spoken accounts for 38% of the overall message that the listener receives.

Non-verbal communication is just as important as verbal. “When your nonverbal signals match up with the words you are saying, they increase trust, clarity, and rapport. When they do not, they can generate tension, mistrust, and confusion” (HelpGuide, 2019b).

HCWs need to use appropriate eye contact as it shows the patient that they are interested in what they are saying (see figure 1), relevant facial expressions as it indicates how a person is feeling, and suitable body posture such as leaning forward or standing upright shows interest, but “crossed arms could mean someone is bored, uninterested or angry” (SkillsForCare, 2018a). Proximity should also be considered as personal space is essential. Getting to close to the individual may make them feel threatened and uncomfortable, yet too far away may indicate isolation suggests SkillsForCare (2018b).

Figure 1: Eye contact allows the HCW or patient to check whether the information that is being conveyed is understood.

iii.

Effective communication in a community care setting requires strong listening skills and requires attending to the individual. There are two different types of listening: passive and active.

Passive listening is simply hearing the words being said and not giving your full attention. It is not doing anything else whilst listening, yet not really paying attention to what is being said, states Gift of Life (2020). It is a one-sided conversation, with little effort needed and gives no feedback to the individual. Lifehack (2020) suggests that a passive listener does not usually even nod his/her head, maintain eye contact, or give much indication to show they are listening.

Active listening is more of a skilled process, demonstrating that the information given is understood. It establishes trust in the healthcare professional-patient relationship and shows care. It is “a specific way of hearing what a person says and feels and reflecting that information back to the speaker” suggests NCNC (2014).

To reflect that information back to the individual, a couple of steps may be involved. These include checking with the patient such as “I’m not sure if I understood what you were saying about…?”. Clarification involves summarising and seeking feedback by asking questions to ensure that the correct message has been received. Showing support by saying “I hear you, please carry on.” Building on involves asking things such as “I would add to your last point…” This helps to reinforce that the HCW shows interest in what the individual is saying. Reflecting includes the HCW repeating or paraphrasing what the individual has said back to them as it will “help make a more thoughtful response and enable you to check to understand” (NHS, 2011).

There is also a technique an HCW can use called SOLER (square, open, leaning, eye contact, and relaxed). Using this method (see figure 2), it should “help others feel heard and valued while ensuring that their messages are fully understood by the listener” suggests My RT Wellbeing (2019).

Figure 2: A way to physically demonstrate your interest and engagement using the SOLER method.

iv.

“When communication is difficult, it is often because of some kind of barrier” according to OpenLearn (2017). When out in the community working, an HCW may face some barriers to effective listening and attending.

A major barrier when working in the community would be the workload. Community working involves caring for individuals in their own homes and usually having a short amount of time to provide all the necessary care needed. A recent study carried out by PMC (2015) showed that HCWs being overworked was one of the most frequent communication barriers. HCWs may have too many tasks to complete which leaves them unable to effectively listen to the individual and may also lead to stress. When people lack the knowledge and abilities to match the work demands and pressures, they lose the ability to cope and become stressed suggests WHO (2007). Also, ACAS (2019) suggests that 60% of employees blame their workload for their stress/ and or anxiety.

Communication also suffers from noisy conditions, which can impair speech comprehension, and even more, if they suffer from hearing or language impairment, attention deficits, or another first language suggests Frontiers (2019). These can include noise from medical machines such as a ventilator or a SATS monitor, noisy background from a television, or even a house pet.

Another barrier that can affect an HCW’s ability to effectively listen is when they are preoccupied by their own concerns. “We are all living in a world full of distractions, which makes us all highly susceptible to the lure and appeal of distracted listening” suggests ATD (2016). Many problems can distract HCWs from communicating properly including but not limited to money/debt, family, divorce, bereavement, and car problems (see figure 3). According to Harvard Business Review (2017), people struggle when they are distracted, and we fail to pick up on other people’s behaviors and emotions.

Illness can be a barrier for communicating successfully. Some of the illnesses that can affect people’s ability to communicate effectively can be motor neuron disease (MND), multiple sclerosis, Parkinson’s, head, and neck cancer. According to Marie Curie (2019), these illnesses can cause dysarthria (difficulty speaking) as the individual is less able to control their muscles and nerves for speech, which makes them difficult to understand.

Figure 3: Interruptions and distractions may compromise the attention of HCW

References

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The relationships between the central characters in Revolutionary Road and On Chesil Beach are ravaged by poor communication as a result of personal conflicts. As Mortimer Adler said, “love without communication is impossible” and this rings poignantly true for April and Frank as well as Florence and Edward in their respective texts. For both couples, their fundamental personal conflicts shatter their communication and this is arguably the crux of the downfall of their relationships. Societal oppression, however, also plays a pivotal role in the disintegration of April and Frank’s and Florence and Edward’s relationships as it puts an untold amount of pressure on them and arguably threatens their marital stability.

The poor communication which tarnishes Florence and Edward’s relationship becomes apparent at a fetal stage in On Chesil Beach. Their arrival at their honeymoon destination, a Georgian hotel along Chesil Beach, marks the start of both the novel and their relationship’s disintegration. Chesil Beach “with its infinite shingle” is rich in symbolism as it reflects the vast expanse of married life that lies before them, as well as the seemingly limitless potential of their journey as newlyweds. Critic Tim Adams, notes that Chesil Beach “seems emblematic of several things: of this moment of certainty in lives that might never again seem certain; of the path that they have just embarked on together, a path which, like all married couples in love they believe they will be making new.” This quote captures the inherent romanticism and tragedy of Chesil Beach, as it reflects the promising yet uncertain nature of events that are to unfold there over the course of Florence and Edward’s honeymoon. The symbolism is bittersweet as whilst Chesil Beach represents hope and potential, it also mirrors the uncertainty and precariousness of what is to come in the form of the impending consummation. “Gentle thunder” from Chesil Beach permeates Florence and Edward’s honeymoon suite and as a result of such effective pathetic fallacy, an unsettling sense of tension is created in the midst of an atmosphere that is already claustrophobic and strained. McEwan utilizes mundane everyday objects to amplify the sexual tension in the room, from the white bedcover which is stretched “startlingly smooth, as though by no human hand” to the starter which features a single glazed cherry. The glazed cherry itself illustrates the misconceptions which have already begun to ravage the newlyweds’ communication. Through Edward’s eyes Florence eats it provocatively as “playfully, she sucked it from his fingers and held his gaze.” In actual fact, however, this act fills her with anxiety as she is conscious of the fact that she is leading him on sexually toward a prospect which fills her with fear and dread. Via her internal monologue, McEwan reveals her sense of duty and hopelessness as she discloses that: “she should not start what she could not sustain, but pleasing him in any way was helpful; it made her feel less than entirely useless.” The glazed cherry and Florence’s internal monologue reveal the first of many misconceptions which will play a key role in tarnishing the couple’s communication and the subsequent disintegration of their relationship.

A similar sense of ravaged communication is made apparent at an early point in Revolutionary Road. The novel’s opening centers around the Laurel Players, whose production symbolizes a desire to transcend the mundanity of the suburbs. It is a slice of the sophisticated culture that holds so much promise: “the brave idea of it, the healthy, hopeful sound of it” and its failure has a profound impact on April, who is elusively introduced as Gabrielle, the heroine of the disastrous production. She is mortified as despite her New York theatre training, she “was as bad as the others, if not worse.” The play’s failure sparks a deep turmoil within her and Frank, as their belief that they are intellectually superior to their suburban counterparts is tainted bitterly as a result. Frank’s response to the disastrous performance reflects their poor communication which plays a key role in the disintegration of their relationship. His internal monologue reveals the disparity between what he thinks he should say and what he actually says: “What he planned to do was bend down and kiss her and say, “Listen you were wonderful.” Something as minute as “the recoil of her shoulders” however, prompts him to think that it may be “condescending, or at the very least naive and sentimental” and he jauntily says instead: “Well, I guess it wasn’t exactly a triumph or anything, was it?” His internal monologue illustrates his own conflicted thought process and the disconnected nature of their relationship as it exposes his inability to communicate with his wife. Their communication is ravaged by overthinking and this, in my opinion, is largely responsible for the disintegration of their relationship.

April and Frank’s journey home to Revolutionary Road serves to highlight their severed communication as Frank ruthlessly persists with the subject of the disastrous performance despite April’s insistence that she doesn’t want to talk about it: “All right. Could we sort of stop talking about it now?” His relentless discussion of the topic eventually becomes too much for April, leading her to erupt in a state of emotional frustration. Their first vicious shouting match ensues, a mark of disastrous communication which can be traced back to Frank’s insensitive inability to drop the subject. The sad irony is that he is so consumed by his desire to say the right thing that he overlooks the fact it would be better to say nothing at all since the subject at that moment is simply too distressing. Through his unrelenting discussion of the topic: “God knows they all stank. The whole point is we should’ve known better in the first place. I should’ve known better”, the sense is created that he isn’t listening to what April is saying as he ignores her requests for him to drop the subject: “All right Frank. Could you please just stop talking now, before you drive me crazy?” This is a key element of their poor communication as it illustrates how Frank persistently ignores his wife and reflects April’s voicelessness within their relationship and the text more generally. Frank quite literally dominates the novel’s narrative. It is conveyed solely through his perspective with the exception of one short chapter towards the end of the novel. This male-dominated narrative structure reflects April’s silenced position within her marriage and contributes to their unhealthy communication which is plagued by an imbalance of power. This imbalance of power is reflected structurally via the dominance of Frank’s perspective of events, as well as verbally via the fact that Frank persistently ignores what April is saying. April’s frustration at Frank’s smothering reflections on the play culminates in an emotive outburst where she physically begins to run away from him and his unrelenting discussion of it “She was out of the car and running away in the headlights.” An element of hysteria is created via her crazed repetition of the phrase “Leave me alone. Leave me alone!” and a distinctly claustrophobic atmosphere is presented via the imagery of entrapment which is present within her line: “Just because you’ve got me safely in this little trap.” This line reflects their severed communication and outlines how their relationship is disintegrating in the midst of a violent argument and an inability to communicate with each other. Ultimately, Frank’s tendency to blatantly disregard April’s views and feelings reflect a key element of their poor communication which is largely responsible for the disintegration of their relationship.

Nevertheless, societal oppression must also be examined when considering the disintegration of April and Frank’s relationship. April’s confinement in a patriarchal society breeds feelings of frustration and alienation which are key to the disintegration of their relationship. Contextually, second-wave feminism had not yet sparked and American women of the 1950s were often confined to the home. Betty Friedan coined the term “the problem that has no name” when referring to the dissatisfaction that such women felt with their unfulfilling lives. According to Sabrina Patrizio, Friedan “addresses the plight of the suburban housewife suffocated by social expectations and trapped by her white picket fence”. This rings true for April, as married middle-class women of the time were often limited to the role of a housewife and mother. The inequality which permeates their relationship as a result of a patriarchal society is illustrated by the juxtaposition of Frank’s freedom against April’s confinement. The excitement of Bart Pollock’s bid to recruit him highlights April’s limited existence within their home as her days are filled with the mundanity of chores and childcare. Bart’s attempt to entice Frank into accepting a new job: “This thing I’m talking about would amount to a brand new job for you. Something that could turn into a very challenging, very satisfying career for any man” appeals to his innate desire for success. April, on the other hand, had spent that same day: “at a kind of work she had always hated and lately allowed herself to neglect: cleaning parts of the house that didn’t show.” As such, societal inequality permeates their relationship and plays a key role in its disintegration as it is a driving force of April’s unhappiness. April ultimately fails bitterly in her attempts to transcend her societal confinement. Her role in the Laurel Player’s production is an attempt to re-connect with the actress that she once was and it ends in disastrous humiliation. Similarly, their move to Paris symbolizes a new beginning which will liberate April from the constraints of American society by providing for her family independently: “The point is you won’t be getting any kind of a job because I will.” When her unplanned pregnancy throws this plan into turmoil, however, her hopes of independence are shattered and she is once again restricted to the role of a housewife and mother: “A little while! Two years? Three years? Four? How long do you think it’ll be before I can take a full-time job? Darling, think about it a minute. It’s hopeless.” As Jonathan Tran notes, April’s pregnancy will “end their hopes of escape” as it will be impossible for her to work in Paris whilst she is pregnant. Due to a damning combination of circumstance and patriarchal oppression, April spirals into a state of alienation and resentment which kills any hope of a happy relationship with Frank. This has dire implications for their communication as her growing frustration at her entrapment culminates in her repulsion at Frank’s presence as she is reduced to screaming uncontrollably in an attempt to make him leave her alone: “In fact, I loathe the sight of you. In fact, if you come any closer if you touch me or anything I think I’ll scream.” “It was plainly a false scream, done while she looked coldly into his eyes, but it was high, shrill and loud enough to shake the house.” As such, societal oppression ravages the couple’s communication as April’s stifling oppression renders her unable to express her feelings. Her inability to communicate with Frank as a result of this is key to the disintegration of their relationship.

Societal oppression of a different sort permeates Edward and Florence’s marriage throughout On Chesil Beach and helps bring about the disintegration of their relationship. It is revealed in the novel’s very first line that: “they lived in a time when a conversation about sexual difficulties was plainly impossible” and this in itself is arguably responsible for the disintegration of their relationship. Societal oppression makes it literally impossible for Florence to confide in Edward about her fear of consummating their marriage. Tim Adams notes the parallel between the novel’s context and Philip Larkin’s ‘Annus Mirabilis: “Sexual intercourse began in nineteen sixty-three.” This extract captures the exuberance of the time in which they wed; as they were just on the cusp of the sexual liberation of the sixties. Confined in a context of silence and isolation where the topic of sex is heavily censored, Florence is simply unable to express how she feels. Her internal monologue reveals the isolation and dread that she experiences, as she reveals that she is “alone with a problem she did not know how to begin to address.” Her confusion is amplified by rhetorical questions “But what could she have said, what possible terms could she have used when she could not have named the matter to herself?” Her internal monologue and confused thoughts vividly illustrate the contextual culture of silence which is impeding their communication and ensnaring Florence in a trap of deafening silence. McEwan utilizes narrated thought, defined by Hannah Courtney as “the step-by-step thought progressions of a character” which “conveys finite detail of character consciousness” masterfully throughout the novel as it vividly conveys the depth of Florence’s fear and disgust. The prolonged nature of her thoughts creates the sense that time itself has stood still as she is enmeshed in the horror of her situation which culminates in Edward’s sudden ejaculation all over her: “coating her belly, thighs and even a portion of her chin and kneecap in a tepid, viscous fluid.” Ultimately, due to societal oppression regarding open sexual conversations, Florence is left isolated and unable to communicate with Edward. Arguably, this puts their relationship under a tremendous amount of strain and is hence primarily responsible for its disintegration. Florence is consumed by a patriarchal view of intercourse which was prominent in Britain in the 1960s. This is conveyed via her internal monologue which is heavy with emotive language as it reveals her inability to verbalize the plethora of emotions that are evoked at the prospect of consummation: “a dry physical sensation of tight shrinking, general revulsion at what she might be asked to do, shame at the prospect of disappointing him and of being revealed as a fraud.” “But it was better to talk of being scared than admit to disgust or shame.” This reflects how a patriarchal society has tainted her view of intercourse as a process that must be endured to satisfy her husband. Her fear of disappointing Edward and her awareness of her duty to satisfy him reflect the misogynistic nature of perceptions of intercourse in the 1960s, whereby the focus was placed not on a woman’s own sexual pleasure but on her duty to satisfy her husband. Florence’s entrapment by this warped view of intercourse alongside the societal censorship of sex results in her incomprehension of female sexual pleasure and in her fear of telling Edward the truth about her sexual reservations. Hence, their relationship arguably disintegrates due to a lack of communication which is created by societal oppression.

When considering the disintegration of the relationships in the two texts, it is clear that poor communication accelerates the rate of disintegration. This manifests in vicious shouting matches in April and Frank’s case and a single violent exchange in Florence and Edward’s case which alters the course of their lives irreversibly and results in the annulment of their marriage. Consumed by frustration and confusion, Edward lashes out at Florence: “Do you know what you are? You’re frigid, that’s what. Completely frigid. But you thought you needed a husband and I was the first bloody fool who came along.” In response to this, Florence can only apologize profoundly: “I am sorry Edward. I am most terribly sorry.” This line in all the meekness of its tone is uttered “in little more than a whisper” and illustrates the profound sense of guilt and anguish that she experiences as a result of her inability to consummate their marriage. It will have a lasting impact on Edward as it is the final thing that she says to him before they part ways forever: “her words, their particular archaic construction, would haunt him for a long time to come.” The inherent tragedy of their parting is illustrated poignantly by McEwan as he conveys the empty and meaningless nature of Edward’s life without her by condensing it into four pages which contrasts vividly with his extended presentation of their honeymoon. The breakdown of their communication has caused Edward to spout vile insults to the woman he loves and as a result, a profound sense of sadness is left in their wake as he “angrily turned from her.” Their communication has ultimately broken down due to an oppressive society that prevents them from speaking openly and honestly about their consummation difficulties. As such, this crippling societal oppression that censors the topic of intercourse is primarily responsible for the disintegration of their relationship.

Societal oppression arguably impacts these relationships on a much deeper level than poor communication and is the root cause of the failure of both Florence and Edward’s and April and Frank’s relationships. Patriarchal societal oppression is central to April’s undoing as it ensnares her in a trap of homely domesticities which she begins to resent bitterly. Throughout the novel, she communicates poorly with Frank and a tone of understated resentment permeates her speech as she asks multiple scathing questions which reflect her indifference to their relationship: “No, I don’t mean why did you have the girl; I mean why did you tell me about it? What’s the point? Is it supposed to make me jealous, or something? Is it supposed to make me fall in love with you, or back into bed with you, or what? I mean what am I supposed to say?” She is a frustrated and alienated character whose plan to transcend her oppression by moving to Paris falls apart due to her unplanned pregnancy. Sabrina Patrizio is apt in her analysis that April as a “1950s housewife” “is continually foiled in her attempts at independence and grows increasingly more frustrated”. Her crippling frustration culminates in her tragic suicide which reflects the alienation she experienced in society and in a marriage that oppressed her. Before her suicide, April and Frank enjoy a moment of open communication whereby Frank asks April to tell him how she feels: “Why don’t you say what you feel?” and she responds by saying: “I have. I don’t feel anything.” This reflects the inherent tragedy of April’s character; as she has been so drained by patriarchal oppression that she has become devoid of all emotion. It also illustrates how societal oppression has doomed the couple’s communication as it has brought April to the point where she simply has nothing more to say to him.

To conclude, societal oppression, quite simply, brings April and Fran’s relationship to its knees and is hence the factor that is primarily responsible for its disintegration. Similarly, societal oppression prohibits Florence and Edward from having an honest conversation about her sexual fears and this is, in my opinion, the inherent tragedy of On Chesil Beach; as it was so needless, so preventable. Ultimately, societal oppression causes the fractured communication that both couples endure throughout both texts and is as such primarily responsible for the disintegration of their relationships.

The first journal that we chose to review is Coworking Spaces: Culture, Communication, and ICT for Development: A Caribbean Study, written by Deborah Dysart-Gale, Kristina Pitula, and Thiruvengadam Radhakrishnan. It was published in the Journal of Transactions on Professional Communication, volume 54, issue number 1 in 2011. These research problems are to development projects in information and communication technologies may fail if local users perceive them as incompatible with existing work practices or cultural values. The social service department of a developing Caribbean nation present study examines cultural communication in the design of a prototype information-management system and the requirements-engineering process required communication within a culturally heterogeneous group of local and outside stakeholders.

Researchers have become aware of the importance of cultural factors in facilitating the design and diffusion of culturally appropriate communication technologies in recent years. The criticism has emerged on one hand against the overinflated assessment of technology as a panacea to “break down cultural barriers and bring world peace” and against an overemphasis on cultural factors. On the other hand, is viewed as the sole determining factor in technological diffusion. The discipline of professional communication, with its pragmatic attention to the circulation of information among stakeholders, is uniquely positioned to chart such theoretical and practical middle ground. The relationship between communication and culture is complex Communication patterns are determined by culture and altered by technology. These complex interactions become visible at the level of professional communication within an organization or community that can be understand better these interactions, the impact of technological innovation upon the communication practices of the social work department of a small English-speaking Caribbean country to replace the existing paper-based system for tracking the provision of client services. The stakeholders of the system held diverse beliefs and values regarding social work and were also divided in their attitudes toward the proposed technological innovation that was been discovered in the research.

In other words, like many countries in the region, an important portion of its wealth comes from citizens working overseas for extended periods. While this migration infuses necessary cash into the economy, it prevents the community of the full social contributions of some of its most talented and resourceful members. Unemployment and the migration patterns of the country’s most able citizens serve to raise the relative proportion of residents requiring social services. Anticipating a reduction in foreign aid as a result of the global economic recession, department administrators resolved to follow the example of neighboring countries in acquiring a computerized client database. This was done to improve service delivery by reducing redundancy, monitoring programs, and enhancing the quality of grant applications through the inclusion of statistical evidence of service need and program efficiency.

Meanwhile, Professional communication offers an alternative perspective to reductionist or essentializing definitions of culture. By focusing on the artifacts through which information is circulated within communities and organizations. Professional communication scholarship views culture as one variable among several that create verbal differences. The verbal differences come from a wide variety of sources, including disciplinary or educational background, gender roles, perceptions of genre constraints, and linguistic habits. St. Amant likewise notes that although English has transcended national, cultural, and linguistic boundaries to become the language of choice for professional communication, “human rhetorical expectations and preferences vary from group to group and culture to culture” with specific regard to scientific and technical communication. Furthermore, the growing dominance of computer and online writing in international professional communication has created an expectation for linear exchanges of typed text. These observations leave little question that rhetoric is culturally inflected. Practices of written and spoken communication determine the activity and work processes of organizations.

In other effect and factor due to communication observational data, the constraints of distance work of eliciting requirements for the database and workshops through telephone and email correspondence with the department supervisor over a period of approximately three months. However, although the administrators clearly outlined the behaviors that needed improvement, they were less able to provide a detailed description of the positive changes in professional oral and written communication they wished to see implemented. The administrators were unable to convey their vision of ideal or desired professional writing. The administrators also discussed the desired content of the capacity-building workshops, identifying the shortcomings they perceived in the SAOs’ professional communication.

SAOs’ “undisciplined” behavior and made general statements about deficiencies in their quarterly reports and other writing because of this inability to provide clear guidance about their expectations for the SAOs’ writing, the administrators requested a seminar in writing skills to utilize and organize the data into effective, useful reports. To prepare for the workshop, we assembled instructional materials on a variety of professional communication topics from which the SAOs could choose as a means of customizing the curriculum of their two-day skills-building workshop. In contrast to the positive discussions with the administrators, however, our first interviews with the SAOs revealed their resistance to the database.

The organizational culture of the department given a low priority to writing and the written word. The department believes keeping records to them as “paper-based” was better described as “talk-based” their preference for obtaining information about the proposed database system through the discussion of schematic PowerPoint slides as opposed to the text-heavy.

After observing and analyzing the cultural aspects of the departmental work practices, scheduled workshops with the officers have begun. To introduce the database project and solicit the SAOs’ input into its design for the first. Secondly, to provide instruction in professional report writing. The author acknowledged as “the computer expert” (Pitula) conducted the first hour of the workshop, scheduled as a collaborative discussion of interface design and general discussion of the project. Although cordial, respectful relations existed between the researchers and the SAOs, the officers again showed reluctance in this discussion. They restated their opinion that the database had no practical value, insisting that the current paper-based system already provided complete, adequate information about client needs if only the administrators would take the time to carefully read the reports and recommendations. A further concern was that the database was another in a series of disruptive and ultimately ineffective technologies introduced “to make the administrators look good.” Finally, they expressed concern that working with computerized records would negatively impact interpersonal relationships with clients, who “will just become numbers for us.”

A thorough review of the literature revealed more should be done the relationship among culture, communication patterns, and technology, which we explored through our observations of the departmental stakeholders. Administrators’ expectations of professional communication were shaped by their cross-cultural experiences in their overseas academic studies. However, they had no objection to participating in skills-building workshops that included a significant writing component. It was within the context of the writing workshop that the SAOs worked to formulate persuasive arguments for the administrators that required statistical, quantitative evidence. The long-term acceptance of the database and its impact on the department’s professional communication patterns, both oral and written are further studies that are underway to be assessed. It is anticipated that these studies and workshops will reveal improvement in written records and track the integration of the database in the daily departmental work processes. Ultimately, it is hoped that the stakeholders will use the database and other new technologies to improve their existing communication practices, enabling them to develop the rhetorical skills to engage productively with a wider audience of developers, donors, and other communities facing similar social and economic disruption.

In the current literature review, a major limitation discovered helpful to adopt an ethnographic approach as outlined, focusing our attention on the stakeholders’ subjective experience of the database and its potential impact on their workplace. This approach took us in a different direction than Hofstede’s dimensions of national culture to account for the process of technology diffusion. Secondly, gained an appreciation of the SAOs’ ability to adjust their rhetorical strategies to fit the expectations of an expanded audience and to incorporate the database in these strategies. This discussion decreased as group members gained familiarity and facility with new ideas.

A person can come into your life when you least expect it and turn your world upside down. At first, they may seem like they are the best thing that could happen to you but then slowly what was once a dream relationship turns into something toxic. Something that turns both individuals into a person they don’t even recognize anymore. So, what if in this situation the person could be erased from your memory as if they never existed? Michel Gondry explores this idea in the science fiction romance titled Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004). This work has been heavily appraised for its use of visual cinematographic for this time period in movie development while also being an independent film. Gondry uses techniques like special effects, like when the house on the shore disappears, or the use of flashbacks that blur one’s perception of time. However, it is the lighting techniques throughout the whole film that helps Gondry to establish the chaos of a relationship and all the past events that encompass it.

Before delving into a deeper scene analysis, it is important to provide a brief summary for a better understanding of the film as a whole. The two main characters that the plot follows are Clementine and Joel. The film starts with them meeting at Montauk when Joel decides to skip work one day. Clementine is more outgoing and moodier whereas Joel is more introverted yet still has a good sense of humor. This leads to a second date, but this isn’t an actual second date because they have been down this dating road before. Then the storyline shoots forward after an argument and Joel sees Clementine later working when her new “boyfriend” is visiting her. After this Joel visits his friends and finds a letter from a medical office saying Clementine chose to undergo a procedure to erase Joel completely from her memory. This sends Joel’s mental state spiraling and leads him to want this procedure done as well. The large remainder of this film takes the viewer through memories of the two of them together and what led up to the argument that was mentioned at the beginning of the film. Throughout these memories, we see good ones of them together but mostly them arguing for example how Joel isn’t spontaneous enough or how he doesn’t agree that she can raise a child. But toward the middle of Joel’s time “asleep,” he starts to realize there are good times and he still wants to remember Clementine. The whole decision to undergo the procedure is a huge mistake but he cannot wake himself. The memories then become Joel trying to get Clem to run from the memories that are deteriorating around them. They go back to memories she doesn’t belong in. For example, he is a baby, or him having to be humiliated to kill a bird with a hammer. Yet after all this work it is still not enough and the team from the office, that we get glimpses of from time to time and can hear voices in Joel’s memory, is able to pull Joel back to where he is supposed to be in the process. They come to realize that they can’t fight it anymore and just enjoy the time they have left together in these memories. He wakes up after the process is complete. One of the people for the company turns out to be dating Clementine and she shows back up at the end of the story stressed and confused because things don’t feel “right”. Toward the end of the movie, the secretary learns that she has also had her memory wiped and gets mad and sends everyone’s tapes back. Clementine gets hers and so does Joel. They hear about their past together that they forgot but choose to try again anyway despite the clear incompatibility. This psychological science fiction owes a lot of the emotions of chaos in a relationship to the director’s use of light throughout the film. A good example of this is the scene where Joel starts to see the good memories start slip away as well.

Around 52:24 the first memory that can be seen in this part of the film is Joel and Clementine under a blanket. They are discussing a troubling memory Clem is having of her childhood doll and feeling ugly so by changing the way the doll looked she believed somehow that would change her too. The lighting that one can see here is a form of soft lighting where there is not a whole lot of shadow. The lighting gives off a fuzzy image of our two characters’ faces while illuminating them just enough to see their emotions. The technique of having the light source come through the blanket helps created this appeal. Soft lighting is often used in romantic stories. Gondry uses this lighting here to show the emotional and intimate connection of Clementine sharing this moment with Joel. The light then fades and a picture overlays and then it cuts to him trying to crawl his way back up the blanket. The viewer can barely see the face of Joel, but the spotlight illuminates his hands that are gripping the blanket as he thinks “Let me keep this memory”. This moment is crucial to the film because it is when the viewer can see the change in how Joel feels toward the situation. The spotlight technique is used here to show an emphasis just how hard he is going to have to try able to hold onto these memories of her. Then it switches to them out on the frozen lake and the music starts to become fuzzy and Joel says to Clem “I am just happy. I have never felt that before.” All of these moments of happiness between Joel and Clementine seem to be in a more natural muted light and it’s more calming but every time there is a use of the spotlight there is an implied sense of panic and need to view Joel’s changing emotions. Then it cuts to the train station where the viewer sees them lying on the ground but with a spotlight from above while people bustle around them. This is very similar to the focus of the scene in the Chien Andalou with one person in the middle while the others bustle around him. Also, the use of the spotlight here gives a large amount of black around the two characters. This could represent that the darkness and the forgetting of the memories are looming closer than Joel thinks. And finally, the camera switches to show Joel’s point of view with the spotlight on Clementine as she is pulled into the black. This dramatic end to the series of memories shows that Clementine will fade into the darkness of Joel’s memories quickly if he doesn’t do something. This series of events motivated Joel to try to take control of the situation as best as he could.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind provides an incredible mise en scene in order to portray the difficulties of a relationship that started to spiral out of control. But it also shows the struggle of trying to forget that person while separating the good memories to keep. One can see here with the love between Joel and Clementine that love is complex. In an attempt to point out some of those key moments, the spotlight is used. Gondry as well used soft lightening and natural lightening as well to continue to give the viewer the intimate feeling that these memories had on these characters.

Love is a beautiful thing to experience when you are young but it is important that young adults of today understand what is genuine love and how to express it in a correct manner. Most adolescents become brainwashed and allow such disrespect to happen to them, thinking it is okay to be treated with disrespect. They start to accept the hurt they receive from their significant other and let it happen continuously because they begin to devalue themselves. It needs to be clear when a person puts their hands on another human being it is not the act of loving that they are showing.

Many adolescents of America hide the abuse that goes on in their relationship because they are afraid that coming forward may lead to more trouble. It can be tough for anyone that is going through domestic violence to escape their abuser; in fact, it is a huge step for many to do and doing so ends the nightmare; some may seek for help in a non-verbal way that is not too noticeable if caught such as going out in public with bruises and marks revealed on purpose, their emotions and body language, and being more reserved and distant toward social gatherings, family, etc. (Rakovec-Felser, 2014)

Domestic violence is not just about hitting, smacking, or bruising up your partner. It is a matter of controlling them; manipulating a person thinking they have to ask their partner about their clothing and the time of the hour they can be out with their friends, referring to their significant other as jealous and always accusing them of wrongful doings (Hudson, L. S. 2019). Partners who abuse feel as if their partner has to constantly call or text them about their whereabouts as a form of just checking in with one another, but it is a sense of having power over them making them submit to their partner.

Domestic violence is no easy topic to discuss but people should really know it makes a difference to help and find a solution to save a victim’s life because if not, society is letting the number of abusive relationships increase day by day. Although this is something society would like to ignore, it is important to bring this subject to attention and try to educate others about abusive relationships to have a better understanding and maybe encourage people to take charge to make a difference in society. Obviously abusive relationships are not simple at all, it takes time. The purpose of this paper allows viewers to become more sensitive towards people who are put through this kind of mistreatment and learn to not brush it off but to bring it up to attention and be aware to prevent such abuse to happen to anyone.

Domestic Violence

(Griffin, 2019) states that domestic violence in young adult romantic relationships is a very serious matter and the most hidden issue in America. This reason is due to the fact that the majority of victims find it challenging to seek help when it seems it is impossible to take matters into that person’s own hands without making the abuser suspicious of the victim’s actions.

(Okeke-Ihejirika, 2019) indicates that women around the world suffer from sexual and/or physical abuse at least once in their life. This study focuses on men from Africa and their perceptions and involvement of intimate partner violence against African women. The purpose of the study was to understand the knowledge of domestic violence in African countries and how much more of a risk it is for African women because they are chosen by their looks and bodies, leading massive high rate of STIs among men. Women started to accept the form of abuse and blaming themselves. The study’s findings are relevant because it allows people to view the issues of intimate partner violence from a different culture and to not just think about the ongoing issues of America but to also educate what mistreatment is allowed in other countries around the world.

(Rakovec-Felser, 2014) focuses his study towards the public eye about the concern of people’s health in families, society, and individuals being overlooked when in need of help. Schools and communities are finding a way to provide people with resources and learning how to respond correctly to violent situations. Women tend to show help-seeking behavior increases the acts of violence against them; their attempt to try and find help from family can be frustrating and overwhelming because of the lengths they will go to make sure you’re safe but could also harm you even more. This study supports my paper by showing the power that comes with abusing and having such power over people. It is appreciated that there are articles that talk about the importance of seeking help and staying in touch with family and friends to eliminate the ability to lose your sense of belonging and identity in the world.

Gender Roles

It is least expected, but women can also be abusive in intimate relationships. The majority of men usually do not take it as seriously but it is important to look at this matter from both a man’s view and a woman’s view (Stanziani, Newman, Cox, & Coffey, 2019).

(Flynn, 1990) concludes his study based on the abuser as the woman, condoning in violently and absurd acts towards their partner or spouse. It is known for women to be so loving and kind to everyone around because of their nurturing. Society has painted a certain image for women. A woman is only seen as violent if it is an act of self-defense, not thinking twice about some are actually heartless. Findings from the article confirm women batterers. Physical abuse done by women is not reported as much because even then they will still be seen as a victim against the male. This article helps reveal the fine lines between gender and abuse and exposes another side to women that are least expected because it is not talked about enough within the community.

(Archer, 2000) suggests that there is a significant difference between men who are violent and women who are violent, but his study revealed that women are more likely to become more aggressive in many forms than men, resulting in men being injured by their significant partner. The study included many forms of aggression to base the participants off to see the differences between male or female. Generally, it is stereotypical to think men are more aggressive than women, but Archer’s findings help look at it from a different perspective when data reveals physical aggression needs to be taken seriously among others to prevent intimate partner abuse from women. The participants in his study were mostly young adults in a romantic relationship and chosen that showed characteristics of aggressive-like activities such as bullying, harassing, fighting, name-calling, etc (Archer, 2004). Archer’s overall findings are relevant because this article showed a result in how it is certainly a woman can be just as or more aggressive and abuse than a man toward their partner.

Women are prone to show more emotional abuse than actually putting their hands on their partner or spouse. It gives them a sense of being in control, manipulating their partner and doing whatever they want without having to check-in or take another’s feelings into consideration when going out with friends to have fun, talking to other people, coming home late or returning the next morning without an explanation. In this case, it is easier for a man to leave their spouse than a woman trying to leave their spouse. When there’s actual physical violence occurring, the size ratio is significantly different when comparing a man to a woman.