Category: Choices

Being a human, everyone has their personalities and properties which people can base on to distinguish a group of people or an individual. There are many factors that affect our characteristics. Value and identity differ from person to person, therefore people should respect and accept it even it is good or bad. According to the writers in chapter one, there are three assumptions which are used to define the word “identity”: “Identity is what we’re born with”, “Identity is shaped by culture”, and “Identity is shaped by personal choices.” These things contribute to shape our identities. Identity can be defined as who you are, how you act or what makes you different from others. To my way of thinking, culture and personal choices are the main points that forms person’s identity, and the most important factor is what we choose which will decide our present and future state. Additionally, people’s consciousness is the element which decides people’s identities. Therefore, if we want to define the so-call ‘’identity’’ we can not overlook the culture, the consciousness, and the people’s choice which are the main points to identify a person.

What you were born with is a part of basic components helping to identify who you are since you appear in this life. Is your identity given or created? In my point of view, identity is created and improved by ourselves and our surrounding environment. However, we all know that we have some identity information which we were given and we cannot change or choose such as our race, gender, and the place where we were born. These elements are the foundations for community and society to know our existence in this life. For instance, if you are born in Thailand, you are male, and you was raised by Catholic parents, so your identity includes all this information, and society acknowledge us through them . These things cannot change even if you have adaptability in a new place, and you have various experiences in your life. In others words, there are lots of people who come from the same cultures and religions with us. Thus, many people have similar traits with others if we compare their identities in this perspective. Furthermore, some people have many special abilities since they were born without any teaching or training. For instance, somebody is talent and has a high IQ since they were born, and maybe they are transmitted the wonderful genes from their parents. It is no problem if we don’t have that lucks. We all have a few restrictions. Our identities are not given and fixed like that forever because we can practice and be educated to change our situations and efficiency time to time. These are the simplest details to point out who you are, but these are not the major viewpoints to make you specially distinctive and prominent from others.

On the other hand, some other things such as your character, your appearance, your costume, and your lifestyle play a huge role in defining your identities and making us unlike other groups. Which make we shape these traits is our culture. In forming a cultural identity, people come to identify with and attach themselves to a particular region or national identity. Culture has a significant affection on our actions and treatments. Culture is a combination of language, custom, more, belief, religion, behavior, and how to communicate with people around you. Furthermore, educational influence is the priority practice to mold an individual personality. For example, how we treat and speak to other people are determined by our living environments, education, and social cultures. As a human, we all have some characteristic to make us distinct from each others, and culture is a part of hint to present the difference among a lot of people who come from the various cultures in the world. Culture and tradition are spiritual value which is created by a group of community. A person’s identity is formed by one’s own personal features. Culture and identity are different in meaning, however they have a closely relationship because all individuals live in their specific communities with its cultures. Consequently, culture influences on a person’s identity whether that culture is good or not good. The traits of culture are one of the popular perspectives which people count on to identify someone and know where they come from because each culture has their typical distinctions. Culture is the particular and beautiful specialties of a race. Moreover, it represents specifically ethnic traditions and customs of a group or single person whom we meet in our daily lives. This is not determined by where we were born, or what is our gender, but it is formed by social and environmental influences. In my opinion, there is no culture or identity is bad. It depends on how people realize and judge the matter. It has many cultures and religions which have many strange actions to us, nevertheless we should learn about it to know that it makes them beautiful and special. Everyone has the right to be respected and identified even if people like them or not. For instance, as a child grows up in a particular culture they will absorb the beliefs, and practices, then they will begin to use them in everyday activities. The opinions of people about identity have changed over time. In particular, in many historical cultures, people’s weight were the sign of good health, wealth, and beauty, so it was easily to identify the lower or higher working class while we see their well fat outside appearance. In our society today, food is not hard to gain; thus, the weight is not evaluated in the same way as it was before. Social culture plays an essential role in how we evaluate and define ourselves identities. We can not define a person’s identity without the context of culture and society. Our identities are assessed differently in different cultures and time periods. Therefore, cultures, region’s traditions, and customs play important roles in developing the view of our identity.

The third aspect of identity we will consider is personal choices. In my opinion, besides surrounding environments, personal choice is the most important factor which contribute to complete our identities. Regardless the cultural context which we are living in, I believe that the choices which we make shape our private identities. We cannot choose our race, our origin, and our family, but we can choose who we want to become by our personal choices. We might make a strange decision beyond our common culture to create unique things , and make us outstanding. People judge us through what we act, how we response, and how we behave kindly towards someone. In addition, the mean which we choose to do something in our daily lives is one of the most powerful factors impacts on our traits, and describe who we are and who we want to become. To illustrate this point, if we choose to go on a right way, it will lead us to the bright streets, and if we do in a wrong way, we will go to a dark tunnel. Especially, in our lives there are numerous things might happen to us which we cannot know, or predict it before such as what will happen tomorrow, and so on. Nevertheless, we could not choose what should happen to our life, but we can choose how we should act to solve and response the problems. We should know and think that by our choice, we can turn a bad day into a good day. Unfortunately, it is not everything and everyone who comes to our lives is good. For instance, when we have a bad relationship or a bad friend, it might change our thinking and our personality, and it could make us look the life in negative ways and become pessimistic people if we have experienced tough situations. It seems to me that experiencing bad and hard situations is life’s lessons which can teach and help us stronger and maturer. Without failing there is no success, and we cannot be better. People have to learn how to face everything because it is the natural rules of life which we cannot avoid. The key to succeed and change our life in the way we want is how we react and solve the problems. Therefore, you cannot be youself if you don’t have your personal choices, energy and decision. Our personalities and identities might change day by day after a lot of things happen in our life, but how our personal identities change that is the matter only we ourselves can decide it. Our personal choices affect our behaviors, so that every choice we make will open the door to new ways of thinking, acting and behaving . It depends on our decisions to help us move forward or stay behind. The ways we express ourselves and sustain our relationships are factors make up our identities. If we do the right decisions, it will bring us closer to the indentity we want to get. Hence, our decision can change our lives and our identities, and our experiences are influenced by the choices we have chosen. So you should think before you act or doing something carefully because people will consider your identity throughout your behavior and your situation.

Besides impacts mentioned above, physical body and conscious ability are readily available factors that can make people realize who we are. Conscious ability is more necessary for us to gain society’s acknowledgement.The thing that makes you are you is the non-physical elements. It is your consciousness. We can be attracted by beautiful or handsome outside looking, but the core for us to like or love someone is their personalities. For instance, many couples break up after their partner change their character. Physical body and shape don’t play as an important role to create people’s identity. Especially, memory is a part of consciousness, and it is more important to shape our identities because we must be the same person who experiences those memories. For example, according to the film “Black Mirror” (Season 2 Episode 1: Be Right Back) written by Charlie Brooker, the story write about the development of technology. This is a fiction movie which allows the dead to come back to life, via artificial intelligence. Ash is a particular illustration for the root of identity which is identified through the memory . After his death, the technological service have created a robot which has same his outside looking, but the robot does not have emotion and all memory as same as the real Ash. So that, Marthar, his girlfriend, cannot have real feelings with the robot even he has the same outside looking as real Ash because his personality is different. Indeed, this robot does not have Ash’s emotion and reaction. In other words, this robot does not have Ash’s identity. Moreover, Ash robot also does not have its personal choice when the robot obeys everything which Marthar have asked it to do. This detail also illustrates the above paragraph viewpoint “we cannot identify someone in a different ways if they don’t have their personal choice”. The robot is just a machine, it does not have its own awareness and memory, so it cannot have an understanding communication as real Ash in person. Therefore, the memory is the factor that helps us to maintain our personal identity, helps us connect, keep relationships, and respond to other people.

In addition, our personal information and data on social media play a subsidiary part for people figure out who we are through the information, pictures, and events which we post on social net. By this method, people just know us as how we show up our profiles there, and they cannot know or define us in a real life with our true identity. Because on social media people can show fake information without knowing of other people. For example, today many bad people use social media to cheat other people with various purposes as we can see on daily news, or they just give fake information in order to get strangers’ good impressions about them without any harmful. Social media is one of instruments we can use to get someone’s identity, but we should get people’s personalities in selective ways and recognize which information is useful and which is useless.

In conclusion, the relationship between identity and personal choice is the most affection to shape people’s identity. If there are any limitation in your culture or your religion might make people think wrong about you, and if you want to live your own life without imitation, you should make your personal choices to show who you are and how you want to be accepted. What happen to our lives may change and drive us in differents ways, so our identities change from day to day. we should learn how to change it in positive means to have a good life. It is deeply important when we think about how we should live our lives in order to become the unique among a lot of people who live in the same culture, country, and conditions with us. We should create our identities in good ways of different sides to get people’s esteem and admiration.

Introduction

Independence is a fundamental aspect of human nature. From a young age, we yearn for autonomy, freedom, and the ability to make our own decisions. The desire for independence significantly influences the choices we make throughout our lives. In this synthesis essay, we will explore how the pursuit of independence impacts various aspects of our lives, including personal relationships, career decisions, and self-discovery.

Independence and Personal Relationships

The desire for independence can shape our relationships in profound ways. It prompts us to seek healthy boundaries, assert our needs and desires, and maintain a sense of individuality within the context of a partnership. While interdependence is essential for the success of any relationship, the longing for independence encourages us to find a balance between personal freedom and shared responsibility. It compels us to communicate our needs, establish mutual respect, and foster an environment of trust and support.

Independence and Career Choices

The pursuit of independence often plays a crucial role in our career decisions. Many individuals strive to find professions that allow them to exercise autonomy, creativity, and self-direction. The desire to make independent choices in our work can lead us to seek entrepreneurial ventures, freelance opportunities, or positions that offer a high degree of decision-making authority. The quest for professional independence motivates us to take risks, pursue our passions, and chart our own career paths.

Independence and Self-Discovery

The desire for independence drives us to embark on journeys of self-discovery. It pushes us to explore new experiences, challenge societal norms, and question established beliefs. Seeking independence helps us define our identities, understand our values, and cultivate a sense of authenticity. By breaking away from societal expectations and embracing our individuality, we are better equipped to make choices aligned with our true selves.

Balancing Independence and Interdependence

While the desire for independence is vital, it is essential to acknowledge the role of interdependence in our lives. We are inherently social beings, and our connections with others shape our growth and well-being. Balancing independence and interdependence allows us to forge deep and meaningful relationships while maintaining a sense of personal agency. Recognizing that our choices can impact others, we strive for a healthy equilibrium that respects both our own independence and the interconnectedness of our lives.

Overcoming Challenges and Embracing Growth

The pursuit of independence is not without its challenges. It requires us to overcome fear, navigate uncertainty, and accept the responsibility that comes with freedom. Choosing independence often means taking risks and stepping outside our comfort zones, but it is through these experiences that we learn, grow, and develop resilience. Embracing independence allows us to overcome obstacles, expand our horizons, and discover the depths of our capabilities.

Conclusion

The desire for independence is a powerful force that shapes the choices we make in various aspects of our lives. It influences our personal relationships, career paths, and self-discovery journeys. While the pursuit of independence offers immense opportunities for growth, it also requires us to strike a delicate balance between our individual desires and the interconnectedness of the world around us.

By recognizing the importance of both independence and interdependence, we can navigate our choices with intention, integrity, and compassion. Embracing our independence empowers us to embrace our authentic selves, pursue our passions, and make decisions aligned with our values. It is through this journey that we truly discover who we are and forge a path of fulfillment and self-actualization.

“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-/ I took the one less traveled by,/ And that has made all the difference”. The profound words of Robert Frost make us question ourselves and how we view the world. Are we predisposed to believe that the world exists based on a perpetual cycle of despair and that misery is an inexorable fact of life and destiny, or do we have a choice on how we live our lives and view the world? Do we have the opportunity to make the most of our circumstances, evoke change, and leave an indelible mark?

What defines who we are? Is it nature or nurture? Are we a product of our genetics or our environment? I believe we are a combination of both. We may have our mother’s eyes and our father’s laugh, but we also have the ability to create our own futures- we are accountable for our decisions in life.

Belief in our ability to succeed is defined by our understanding that we need to do the unthinkable and forge our own paths so we can impact the world in our own way. Famous examples of icons who broke down the barriers of society and defied the unfathomable, creating something tangible and magical, include Mark Zuckerberg, the founder of Facebook, Thomas Edison, who invented the light bulb, Walt Disney, who created Disney land, and Mahatma Gandhi, a man immortalized for the words “Be the change you want to see in the world.”

When my sister was younger, she was diagnosed with a serious gastroesophageal illness called achalasia that required her to spend most of her childhood in hospitals having serious surgeries. It was the biggest challenge of her life because of the psychological and physical roadblocks it presented which often felt insurmountable. Every day she had a choice – live life to the fullest or become a victim of her circumstances; she has chosen to live in technicolor.

It’s easy to subscribe to a belief in the idea that the world, with all its undesirable traits, contemptible wrongdoings, and unjustifiable indifference to human suffering, is incapable of having good in it. However, how we see the world is based on our attitude towards life. Simply put, this is all it takes to remove ourselves from the perpetual shackles of our minds that think the world will always be this way. It’s the people who hold out a hand to help and take the step towards change that make a significant impact on the world and the people in it.

The story of Kyle told through the eyes of his best friend is one of my favorite examples of how one person can make a world of difference. “As I was walking home from school, I saw a young boy walking down the road carrying a stack of books. A group of kids ran towards him and knocked the books out of his hands and his glasses with them, Kyle landing hard in the dirt. All I saw was the terrible sadness in his eyes as a tear ran down his face. I helped him up, gave him the glasses, and took some of his books walking home with him, receiving a smile. We spent that whole weekend together. Over the next few years, Kyle and I became best friends. Kyle was our valedictorian and had to prepare a speech for graduation. On graduation day, he looked great, he had really grown into himself during high school. He began his speech, ‘Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those years. I am here to tell you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story’. I looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the day we first met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked about how he had cleaned out his locker so his mom wouldn’t have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home. He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. ‘Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable’. Not until this moment did I realize the depth of this boy’s weakest moment. Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture, you can change a person’s life”.

In life, we have a choice. We can choose to accept the condition of the world and the people around us, evil and indecencies, or we can choose to evoke change by forging paths into the unknown, being kind and generous, and believing that there is more to life than what we’re told, we’re not predisposed to accept the world as it is. I’ll leave you with some anonymously penned words to change your perspective, “The pages of yesterday cannot be revised, but the pages of tomorrow are blank and you hold the pen. Make it an inspiring story”.

Toward Happier Choices by Michael Oborn is a quasi-memoir. He jots down a series of thoughts and after-thoughts of his life and former life as a man born in Mormon culture to a man who simply learns to loosen the ties of religion and become a free thinker. His insight and how he brilliantly words out his thoughts and emotions captivated me. He brilliantly repeats the idea that religion or fundamentalist beliefs do not allow you to think for yourself but there is a chosen man of God who should do so, if not, prayer and reading the book of Mormon, in this case, should suffice.

It was the birth of his son that catapulted him into full morphism. With everything at stake, he had to lose it all and what great sin that was to his Mormon community and church. However, his values and vices are well explained and one understands and resonates with them. I was able to sympathize with his experiences and also fully agree that he has to make the choice of leaving the Mormon culture after he had questions that the religion itself could not answer. For instance, he never knew a person of color could be the same blood type as with a white person until he saw someone being saved by the blood of a person of color. To his inquisitiveness he asks the fundamental question, how is this so when we were taught that when Cain killed Abel, he was cursed with the mark of black? This is just a tiny example of religious superiority, racial-religious division and other pressing issues that religious culture totally turns a blind eye on. There are simply not enough answers in religion for life’s pressing questions.

His journey towards self-healing took a long winding road where he met amazing people along the way until now, being in love with Gina Sue. His essay on their love almost has a poetic feel. It is easy to imagine whilst he speaks of this. The book is split into three sections: “Short Stories,” “Potpourri,” and “Exceptional People.” I have aforementioned most of the first section. The second section is a collection of random beliefs, thoughts, and poetic vices. “Exceptional People” includes five essays about individuals who have greatly influenced Micheal Oborn’s life. It was somewhat hard for me to relate to Jack’s life although sad that he died, Jack’s essay had no persona and no intimacy. I felt lost every now and then because the essay was not written in a gripping and engaging way. I felt like the author’s ideas were forced onto the readers, lacking clear substance. However I was touched by Gina Sues part and how, overall, the author carries exceptional heart and love with him and passes it on to his community. He is well grounded and considers life beautifully regardless of all that he had been through either by default or otherwise.

I loved his use of vocabulary throughout the book. however, the book had many grammar errors and incorrect sentencing. The second section of the book was loosely packed, but it being poetic made me enjoy it- I love poetry and the overall freedom of arrangement it comes with when it comes to writing. If I could I would give the book 2.5 out of 4 mainly due to the errors and how lifeless Jack’s essay was. It stands at a 3 out of 4. The recollections are in total conversational, engaging and charming. The book can be enjoyed by readers who seek new perspectives on life. It can also be enjoyed by people who seek to also know or question Mormon religion. If you do not have a streak of poetry and are not entertained by people diverging out of their comfort zones because of your own imposing beliefs and being a true fundamentalist, the book is not for you. If you are in the process of breaking free from a fundamentalist culture, this book may represent hope for you and will cheer you on.

I pressed my face against the glass shielding the ice cream from yearning for people like me as I questioned which flavors to buy. There was vanilla, chocolate, mint, coffee, and, not to mention, all the different toppings available at the next station – which of these would I choose? I turned to my dad and asked for his opinion, to which he simply responded: “I’m treating you, so pick what you want”. Once again, I was burdened with the freedom of choice.

Choice – even provided before the ice cream shop’s employees – was not the freedom that my dad was familiar with until approximately twenty-five years ago. My dad grew up in a small Vietnamese village that was still experiencing the lingering effects of the Vietnam War. The freedom of choice was taken from him at a young age as the harsh policies of the victorious communist regime commanded his family’s way of life. Living in poverty, as most other Vietnamese people did after the war, he had no choice but to work long hours doing odd jobs alongside my grandfather. At the early age of twelve, he has introduced to grueling work anywhere from in the rice fields to the lumber forests, and every day was a struggle to get food onto the table for his younger siblings. Even simple opportunities – such as having an education – were luxuries to my dad.

The astounding part of my dad’s story isn’t, however, founded in the hardships he faced during his childhood, but rather in his endeavor past those hardships. While most sixteen-year-olds are beginning to drive their first car, my dad was journeying across the Pacific Ocean on a cramped ‘escape boat’ with a few dozen other refugees. With him on the miraculous journey were only two things: my grandfather and the knowledge that he could die at sea at any particular moment. Yet, despite the many obstacles that my dad encountered along the way, many decades later, I can proudly say that he was successful in his journey across the Pacific Ocean. I can also say that despite the choices that were taken away from him, he was able to look past and find a home for his future children so that they didn’t have to say the same.

My life thus far has been distinctly different from my dad’s. In America, there are so many opportunities available to me that the freedom of choice can become a problem. I can find myself standing in the ice cream shop not knowing which flavors I want, where these simple treats were rare to my dad. I can aspire to go to schools like the University of Virginia and pursue majors in Business or Art or Medicine. Most importantly, I can dream of studying Law and Public Policy so that I can guarantee children will never experience the same things that my dad had to. He could never even begin to think about school, but he wanted to make sure that these problems would never exist for me. For this, I will forever be indebted to my dad.

I have an obligation to my dad. He has never been the one to force me into anything, yet I believe that it is my responsibility to live out the life that he couldn’t. For over seventeen years, my dad has supported me, ultimately providing me with the power to choose my own future. I value that the University of Virginia, with its mission to develop the ideal scholar and man, nurtures this same freedom of choice for its students. I am thrilled to have the freedom to choose my own academic career while building the foundation for my future; however, as I look forward, I shall not forget the past my dad sacrificed to get me here.

The degree to which biological and environmental factors have on human behavior is a hotly debated topic. Highly empowered individuals sometimes argue that their state is a result of unfettered choice, while the more downtrodden are likely to attribute their state to poor biology, or society. We would like to believe that we may overcome our undesirable tendencies. While it is apparent that one’s nature and nurture certainly fetter’s capacity to choose, it is a grievous oversimplification of the issue to say that this removes agency.

Our brains give us the necessary hardware to exercise our ability to choose. The structure of the human brain has the same identifiable parts as what is widely considered the mammalian brain. However, we have a much more brain in the front. Our highly developed and well-connected prefrontal cortex allows us to be capable of metacognition and self-awareness. Humans have a unique aptitude for evaluating the choices they make, which increases their capability to exercise moral agency.

Everyone has a different capacity for making certain choices. All people’s capacity is limited. The frontal cortex of the brain handles executive function. Individual differences in genetic makeup, neural pathways, and chemistry effectively give each person a different pre-frontal brain to work with. People that exhibit lower levels of certain neurotransmitters, such as dopamine, cortisol, or serotonin, can be more depressed or anxious. It’s generally harder for these people to choose to exert themselves due to fear or apathy because their limbic system isn’t firing quite right. Someone that suffers from bipolar disorder has an amygdala that lets emotions swing rapidly. It may require more effort for them to make decisions because everything has an increased emotional weight. Habits also affect our effective options for decision-making. Neurons that fire together, wire together. Habits are difficult to break because the neural pathways to carry out those actions are more developed. Traumatic experiences can reduce someone’s capacity to function because they cause the brain to fire in ways it can’t handle, causing latent effects for later experiences. Whatever we may suffer with, we only have so much energy to put into decision-making.

The natural man is considered by many to be part of us that is instinctual and associated with the lower or ‘reptilian’ brain. Giving in to the natural man is the same concept as following all your impulses. The more often people what they’ve learned in their working memory, the more their executive functionality helps them override their impulses and choose something else.

Agency is simply defined as the ability to act. It’s something that you either have or you don’t. I act freely often. For example, I decided to ask the girl who sits next to me in class on a date. Nothing was stopping me from doing that. There was a time in my life when I felt like my choices were extremely limited. After seven months of missionary service, I was pseudo-diagnosed with a major depressive disorder and prescribed medication that made me much worse. It was explained to me that I was an ‘emotional diabetic’ and that I would be dependent on some sort of medication for the rest of my life. Due to the medication mishap, I couldn’t think straight or feel anything except sadness. I did not have the capability of choosing to be happy. My choices were limited, and my circumstances certainly had my capacity fettered. Luckily, my executive function and reasoning abilities allowed me to make choices that would affect me in the long run. After a tremendous and extended effort to adapt, change and grow, I’m proud to say that I got a clean bill of health from a psychiatrist before I returned home. In all of this, I had never lost the ability to act. Unless they don’t have a brain anymore, nobody ever loses their agency. In each instance, people just have a different set of choices before them.

Happiness is a Choice (Favor)

“Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence.” There is no greater feeling in the world than being happy. When something positive happens to a person, he becomes happy. On the other hand, when something negative happens to him, he becomes miserable. This happiness “set-point” can come to a point of equilibrium and be reset. Happiness lies in home life, work life, and health life. These are the important foundation of happiness.

Home life is so important because of all the love and support it provides. Being with family helps construct principles and improves overall mental health. Spending time with family is key to a person’s development as it promotes adaptability and resilience. Such key lessons can only be taught by family members coaching each other regarding life’s ups and downs. Family is what makes us who we are. Being able to feel relaxed and calm is essential for happiness at home. Home life creates a sense of well-being within the family and in each family member. Well-being includes a person’s physical, mental, emotional, and social health. Strong, happy home life encourages and supports each other to be optimistic, and hopeful and to strive together to achieve individually and as a family. In strong, happy home life everyone has the right to feel safe, comfortable, happy, and loved. Parents have a responsibility to provide an appropriate role model for their children and a nurturing environment in which they can thrive. One of the reasons why home life is necessary for happiness is because it (usually) provides financial stability in our early years. Having our basic needs covered is crucial when it comes to setting the basis for a happy life. Home life values open, two-way communication. This means parents and children make sure everyone is listening to each other as well as having the chance to talk. Strong, happy families create opportunities for the whole family to participate in discussions about every day matters as well as opportunities to discuss issues and problems. Togetherness is creating a “glue” to help families develop a sense of belonging. Togetherness is sharing similar values, beliefs, and morals. In a happy home life, families share and do things together. This can include sports, playing games, reading stories, spending time together, sharing interests, and holidays. Affection is shown through a genuine sharing of feelings through hugs, cuddles, and kisses. Strong, happy families tell each other how they feel, consider each other’s feelings, and show care, concern, thoughtfulness, and interest in each other. Each member of a strong, happy family knows that family members will always be there to look out for them and take an interest in them. Home life ability to adapt to changing circumstances and have a positive attitude towards any challenges that arise. Families talk things through, keep each other’s hopes up, and pull together in a crisis, learning as a family as they go. Members of families show respect and appreciation for each other’s differences. Competition is discouraged and family members acknowledge and value each other uniqueness, respect other points of view, forgive each other, and allow each other their own space.

For individuals, work is an important feature in structuring personal and social identity, family and social bonds ways of making money, and thereby accessing a number of essentials and non-essential goods, services and activities, daily routines, level of activity, personal well-being and self-confidence. The demand for work-life combinations is here and is only growing. Employees bring their best selves to work when they are provided with necessary support resources. When employees have control over flexible schedules and feel there is enough time to finish their projects at work, go on a run and take their children to the playground, it benefits you, too. And as a result, your employees will be less stressed, happier, and more efficient with their time at work. Work provides the opportunity to meet new people and connect with others. The interactions that occur between employees can result in a number of factors that have a positive impact on employee well-being, including trust and social support. Having a healthy work-life balance means that employees will be happier when they come to work. This, in turn, helps reduce stress and the chance of burnout. Work-life balance can be defined as arrangements made by employers to enable their employees to live full lives. This implies that as much as they will be giving their best to the job, the employees will be having a chance to do other things in their lives. Work-life balance is a very important aspect of any working environment. Among its advantages is the fact that employees are more motivated to perform their duties since they do not get overworked. This is advantageous to both employers and employees. The employees benefit in that they develop healthy relationships with their employers and at the same time they get to build non-professional aspects of their lives. This way, they are able to develop their careers. On the hand, employers are able to achieve greater productivity in their firms since employees are greatly motivated to work. Employees give their best to the job due to the motivation and thus quality and greater volume of production are guaranteed. Employees spend a lot of time at work and enjoying the coworkers that they spend time with there is one of the hallmarks of a positive work experience. Feeling understood and valued by even one coworker, especially if that’s someone you interact with regularly, can significantly increase your daily happiness at work.

It is important to know the right definition of happiness because some people define happiness in economic terms, ecstasy, or the pursuit of material goods. But true happiness does not come with external factors it comes from within. Happiness and unhappiness are the states of mind. Our mind follows the chain of our thoughts, for example, if a person fails in any area of their life the first thought that comes to their mind whether it’s positive or negative will make a chain of upcoming thoughts. So, the first step is to break the negative thinking chain. This is unpopular to say that happiness is a choice because there are people who suffer from depression chemically and there are people who don’t believe that it’s possible because then it creates a responsibility on them, they say if now I’m unhappy, is that my fault? I’m not saying that it’s their fault but just like working hard and making money can be a choice, eating healthy can be a choice, getting an education and making a career can be a choice, fitness can be a choice happiness can also be a choice. Some people argue that we cannot choose to be happy when we’re not healthy, but there are people like Nightbirde the popular singer, songwriter, and cancer survivor who proved this statement wrong. She was diagnosed with terminal cancer where doctors gave her only two percent of survival and six months to live yet she decided to pursue her dream of singing because she believed that a two percent chance of survival is not zero, it is something. Anyone facing difficult circumstances needs to feel the weight of these words. Nightbirde points to the power of hope. Yes, the odds might be remote, but there is always reason for hope. As the blind Author and lecturer rightfully said: “When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.”? Helen Keller, Similarly, the key to happiness is gratitude and optimism, these both qualities can be defined as wearing tinted glasses just like wearing tinted glasses won’t change the color of things in reality but it will change how we see them, that’s how optimism won’t change the situation but it can change our perspective of how we see things. “You can’t wait until life isn’t hard anymore until you decide to be happy.”  In one way or another most of us wait for life to get easier, yet the reality is that life is full of ups and downs and it’s never going to be perfect. We may have different definitions of what it means to be happy, but we need to choose to find joy and good in our lives, today, even amidst the pain. Not after the pain stops. But right now.

Families are dedicated and loyal to each other and the family as a whole. Strong, happy families feel safe and secure with each other, trust each other and keep promises. Not all families are perfect. Some argue some fight, and some even stop talking to each other at times, but in the end, family is family. The love will always be there no matter what. Everyone has their own definition of what FAMILY means to them.

Happiness is a choice (Against)

Happiness is the state of being happy or a state of emotional well-being that a person experiences either in a narrow sense, when good things happen in a specific moment. I always hear people saying that happiness is a choice but it’s not, happiness is not our choice because if it were, everyone would choose it. Everyone would be happy all the time. You cannot force yourself to feel a way you do not feel. Sure, we’d like to feel happy, but we just don’t have a lot of the time. Because we have many responsibilities and workloads in our lives in which we can’t be happy if so we want to be like others.

Although happiness is a choice, we will pick to live happily on all occasions and might toughen our circle of relatives however there are some circumstances and conditions in which we can’t accomplish that due to the fact that one’s situations shatter us completely. There are many motives behind our sad home lifestyles The first purpose in creating unhappy uncommunicative households is financial problems. Financial issues now not simplest bring strain to the circle of relatives but also deliver a lack of bonding. Many households go out occasionally however while having monetary troubles, it’s tough to achieve this. Drinking is the second purpose at the back of disappointment in the family due to the fact guys are the ones who have consuming issues which brings violence, argument, and abuse in the family because those who drink live out overdue and are best involved about three wishes due to which now not most effective mother and father however children also go through. The third purpose may be a communication hole among households because, in today’s world, anyone is busy with their very own stuff even a circle of relatives individuals do now not take a seat for dinner. They don’t chat with every other and don’t even bother about every other’s lifestyles. Another motive is not unusual hassle between mother and father and youngsters comes when children grow to be rebellious and refuse to listen to their parents. From raising infants to teenagers, times can virtually be difficult. Rebellious children can take a look at your endurance and will push all your buttons which creates chaos in family life and make it horrible. The fifth motive could be a common circle of relatives hassle may be now not having a healthful work-existence stability. With each unit of parents running increasing number, it can create a certain problem in relation to balancing paintings and life. The sixth cause is disagreements, conflicts, and fights are part of a circle of relatives dynamic. We all are entitled to our opinion but; arguments and conflicts can harm relationships within a family if no longer resolved in time. Emotions need to no longer get the better of you all through arguments. We may say something hurtful even without that means to. Arguments are not a bad component at all. They are regular however if they get out of hand then they may be a problem. Divorce is the 7th reason at the back of disappointment in their own family Children are often the maximum tormented by a separation or divorce. The breakup of the parental unit brings with it many modifications. Changes may be physical – the literal separation of each discern to one-of-a-kind locations of houses – as well as emotional. Most underrated but still a motive in the back of unhappy own family life is disrespect Disrespect. When the individuals in their own family don’t experience reputable by means of their own family contributors, emotions of togetherness are challenging to come by means of. So these have been all the reasons why a circle of relatives can’t live happily. A family even after attempting lots can’t put off this kind of issue.

Another major part of our life is our Work Life. I can say that we start preparing for our work life the moment we start our education but major decisions are made when we are 18 years old and enter University life after choosing a major. I choose my major by discussing it with my Parents. I was confused at that time and having discussions with family members and their opinions was important. So we all choose our majors by the influence of others or simply you can say that we choose our happiness with the help of others because it is not completely our choice. After getting an education we will enter work life. Even then if we want to choose happiness then either we can get so good grades that we are approached by options to choose from or become our own boss. For other people, the choice is working for other people and making changes in their life to accommodate our work life. We can either stay home, stay close to our family even if we are getting less or we can go away from home to earn more. If we stay home then we have to look after our family and if we stay away then it’s just us but us earning more. We can control on our spending on ourselves and give the rest to our families. But what do we care about we only have one option STAY HOME. Because we are females and our choices are made by society. At the workplace, we have to find a balance between work, health, sleep, and our own mental peace. We are pressured or we simply feel pressured to please everyone so that we have colleagues who are happy with us. This often leads to us being so spent by the end of the day that we don’t have anything left for us. We will skip breakfast because we were late, skip lunch because we needed to complete just one more page and be on low sleep because our minds will not shut off. So simply we just become different people. We are different people at our home, different at the office, and different people at outings with friends so how can you tell me that can everyone will be able to find a balance in these three personalities? The common answer will be NO! So in the end, I hope you will keep these words with you “Happiness is not our choice “it depends on other people as well. So the only thing we can do is to learn our limits so we can stop when our mind and body are exhausted. It is also important for us to remember that we are the only one who is going to live our own life. I am the only one who is going to live my life.

In recent years, we’ve seen an explosion of scientific research revealing precisely how positive feelings like happiness are good for us. We know that they motivate us to pursue important goals and overcome obstacles, protect us from some effects of stress, connect us closely with other people, and even stave off physical and mental ailments. This has made happiness pretty trendy. Too much happiness can make you unhappy, The happier you are, the better, right? Not necessarily. Studies show that there is a darker side to feeling good and that the pursuit of happiness can sometimes make you, well, less happy. Too much cheerfulness can make you gullible, selfish, and less successful — and that’s only the tip of the iceberg. June Gruber, a professor of psychology at Yale University who has studied happiness, compares happiness to food: Although necessary and beneficial, too much food can cause problems; likewise, happiness can lead to bad outcomes. “Research indicates that very high levels of positive feelings predict risk-taking behaviors, excess alcohol and drug consumption, binge eating, and may lead us to neglect threats,” she says. Too Much of a Good Thing is a Bad Thing. There are many everyday examples to show how too much of a good thing is actually bad for you. Dr. Robinson (2018) published an article on WebMD that talks about 12 Good Things That Can Go Bad. She shares how too much exercise can damage our joints and even lead to osteoporosis in women. On the other hand, sleeping beyond the recommended eight hours can increase the risk of heart problems. Activities like having sex, washing your hands, and eating healthy food, when done excessively, can all lead to serious health problems. She even explains that drinking too much water, to its extreme, can lead to death. Intensity is the first aspect that Gruber and colleagues looked at when talking about happiness. When something is said to be “intense” it usually means there is a sense of being extreme or too strong. In this case, “too happy” or “too positive” can mean an intense level of happiness. Contrary to popular belief, studies have shown that excess levels of experiences, emotions, and mental states can lead to becoming unhealthy (Gruber et al., 2011). This applies not only to negative experiences but also to positive states like happiness. the ideal number for self-reported happiness is an 8 out of 10, with 10 being always happy He explains that a person who is extremely happy, and always happy, may not be completely in touch with reality. This disengagement from reality, as a person experiences intense levels of happiness, may lead to risky behaviors and dysfunction in certain areas of our life. Moderate levels of happiness allow room for us to be able to still experience unpleasant emotions. These unpleasant experiences help us to learn and grow from them and to keep moving forward.

It’s a natural response, but it isn’t a required behavior, it’s a choice. And choosing to be happy will make you a better, stronger, wiser, more long-suffering person. We always have the choice to be happy. Learning to change our attitude is frustrating, but worth it in the end. When we choose to be happy, things tend to work in our favor, and luck seems to be on our side; even if things don’t happen the way you want them to, if you choose to be happy, you can accept situations for what they are and make the most of life, no matter the hand it deals you.

The concept of free will varies depending on whom you ask. If you were to turn to religion, it would say your free will lies solely in moral decision making; what you choose to have for breakfast is not free will and is already determined. If you were to ask a compatibilist, they would say we do in fact have free will with only some deterministic aspects. If you were to ask a libertarian, they would say you have absolute free will. If you were to ask a determinist, they would say there is no free will what so ever; everything you do, big or small, good or bad, has already been determined by a higher power (for our case, that would be God). I am arguing in support of the compatibilist concept of free will because if there is a God who is an omnipotent, omniscient and omnibenevolent (or in other words, all-merciful) being, He would never remove our right to act freely.

Free will can be defined as the ability to make one choice over another if the will to carry out said choice is present. Determinism is defined as the belief that all events, human or not are caused by an external force or in other words, fate. These seem to be two very opposite concepts which leads us into compatibilism. Compatibilism is the belief that in order to have free will, to be a free agent, and to be free in choice and action is simply to be free from physical or psychological constraints (Strawson, 1998, p. 1). In no way do your character traits, preferences, which you are not responsible for, undermine your control over decision-making. To have compatibilistic freedom of will means to be able to consciously choose one way over another.

So what role does determinism play in this act? Determinism comes in when presenting the choices and the subsequent consequences of your choices, meaning you can not control what choices are being presented to you nor can you control what will happen to you once you make that choice. For example, I find three psychedelic carrots in the woods. I pick carrot A which then gives me a sudden craving for cotton candy, so I decide to rob a cotton candy store and find myself in jail. So while I did have the ability to choose freely between carrots A, B and C, I did not have the ability to choose what would happen to me after I ate that carrot.

So does that mean I was “fated” to be imprisoned? No, not necessarily simply because I had the same amount of power to choose to eat psychedelic carrot B or C, which have their own set of consequences or I would have chosen not to eat it and not experience any of their respected consequences. Just because there are consequences of our actions that we must bear, does not mean we do not have free will. If I had known that I would suddenly crave cotton candy to the point of robbing a store should I have this carrot, I would have chosen to not eat it. And this is how we make a lot of our choices in our day to day lives, through the understanding of possible consequences.

It is through this concept that we are not only expected to, but also justified in holding individuals accountable for their actions. If free will did not exist, and we were all in agreement that we have no choice but to do the things we do then how can we properly, and justifiably hold people accountable for their actions? If person A suffered a psychotic break and thereby hurt person B, they would not get into nearly as much trouble had they hurt person B while in a fully rational state. This is because we understand that hurting person B was out of their control due to the fact they were not aware of their actions. If person C had a gun to their head and was told by person D to shoot person E, person C would not receive life in prison because it was not person C’s choice to pull the trigger. The first situation would be an exemption from compatibilism because person A did not have the freedom to choose. The second situation however, is not an exemption because person C could have just as easily chosen not to shoot person E even though it would have resulted in the loss of their life. This then begs the question, did person C really have free will? For the compatibilist, yes they did because they still had the opportunity and ability to choose otherwise. Any thought, deed or notion is of free choice but it is up to the subject to choose what set of consequences they want to bear.

Now that our concept of free will has been explained, it leads us to our next question: is there such a thing as a God? If free will is an illusion, then it would mean that God (if there is one) would be lying to us which is not possible because of his omnibenevolence. Descartes explores this in his Five Meditations. In his Third Meditation, Descartes finds himself wondering where this idea of a perfect God came from.

“I immediately recognize that in me it is very small and seriously limited; and at the same time I form the idea of another faculty that is far greater, one indeed that is supremely great and infinite, and, from the very fact that I can form the idea of it, I perceive that it belongs to the nature of God” (Descartes, 2013, p. 41)

Here in his Fourth Meditation he claims that God must exist because something finite such as Descartes, cannot create something so infinite and perfect such as God. He briefly wondered if it were possible for him to come into existence without God but quickly debunked that when realizing that something as imperfect as him cannot do what only a perfect being (God) can. Going back to where we mentioned that God could be lying, Descartes wrote in his Fourth Meditation the following:

“First of all, I recognize that it cannot happen that he should ever deceive me; for in all deceit and trickery some element of imperfection is to be found; and although to be able to deceive seems to be some indication of intelligence or power, nonetheless to wish to deceive is beyond doubt a proof of malice or feeble-mindedness, to which God cannot be liable. Besides, I know by experience that there is within me a faculty of judging, which I certainly received from God, along with everything else that is in me; and since he does not wish to deceive me, this God-given faculty must be such that I shall never go astray, as long as I use it correctly” (Descartes, 2013, p. 38)

He explains that simply the act of deception is already enough of a flaw that threatens Gods perfection which is impossible because then he would not think that God was perfect in the first place. Any deception that he feels is because of his limited understanding. Though he understands enough that he has the power to choose how to use his judgments and that if he makes the right choices with his judgements, he will no longer be deceived. This exercise of judgements is what we call free will.

St. Thomas Aquinas studied Descartes meditations and provides five logical arguments in his The Five Ways, explaining the existence of a being that we define as God. His first argument is the Argument from Change which states that something in its natural (actual) state cannot be in its potential state at the same time and that in order for it to go from its actual state to its potential state is for an outside source to change it. The example he uses is, in order to make a piece of wood hot (something it has potential for but is not in actuality), it would be needed to heated up with fire (something that is hot in actuality). He uses this same argument to state that in order for something to be in motion, an outside source (mover) needs to move it, which needs its own separate mover in order to be moved and so on so forth. However, it is very easy to slip into this regression in trying to find the “first” mover which lead into an infinite therefore impossible to have a first mover which will in turn not have a subsequent second or third mover which in itself is impossible. From this, Aquinas says that there is a necessity to stop at a first mover that itself is not moved by anything and that is understood to be God (Thomas, 1911, p.380)

His second argument is the Argument from Causation which can summarized simply by saying that nothing is the cause of itself because then it would exist before itself which is impossible. You cannot proceed to infinity with causes because then there would be no first cause and if there is no first cause, there would be no intermediate or final cause which Aquinas says is clearly false. Through this, Aquinas believes that what men call God, is the first efficient cause (Thomas, 1911, p. 381).

The third argument is the Argument from Contingency and here Aquinas says that nothing that does not exist cannot come into existence on its own. “(6) But everything which is necessary either has or has not the cause of its necessity from an outside source.” Here he preludes that it is not possible, according to the case of efficient causes, to proceed to infinity when trying to find a first necessity. Thus, there has to be something that has necessity in itself but not coming from an outside source and this is called God (Thomas, 1911, p. 382)

The fourth argument, the Argument from Degrees of Excellence, states that there are different degrees found in things. For instance, in the case of something being “more” or “less” has to do with the proportion as they approximate in their different ways to something which has that said “more” or “less” quality in the highest degree. Aquinas uses the example of calling something hot when it reaches more nearly to that which is hot in the highest degree and then leads on to saying that there has to be something existing that carries that quality to the highest degree which allows other things to share that degree (e.g: fire in itself is hot to the highest degree and then in turn cause other things to become hot). From this he comes to the conclusion that the thing with the highest degree of goodness and perfection which allows there to be goodness and perfection in all other things, is in fact God (Thomas, 1911, p. 382)

The fifth and final argument is the Argument from Harmony which goes on to discuss nature and its processes. Aquinas says that these things which contain no knowledge, all work to achieve some sort of goal which he describes as an End. He also notes that they obtain this End through the same process, showing that it is not by chance but rather on purpose which means there has to be something with knowledge guiding these natural processes and that he calls God (Thomas, 1911, p. 383).

For every argument for the existence of God, there is a counter argument. In Richard Dawkins’ The God Delusion, Dawkins attempts to disprove the validity of Aquinas arguments. He grouped the first three arguments under the theme they share in common, an infinite regressor. He does not believe that just because you cannot infinitely regress to a first, you should categorize it as “God”. He then proceeds to explain how omnipotence and omniscience are mutually incompatible because “If God is omniscient, he must already know how he is going to intervene to change the course of history using his omnipotence. But that means he cannot change his mind about his intervention, which means he is not omnipotent.” (Dawkins, 2016, p. 78). However this cannot be taken truthfully because as we have mentioned before, God exists outside of time and space, so while yes he does know when he would intervene, it does not mean he does not have the power to stop it. Time may be linear but it does not mean there is only one path. Just like how we have the ability to make choices, so does God, and each of those choices branch out a new path with different, potential changes to the future.

A second way he attempts to disprove the infinite regressor arguments is by bringing up the case of the atom. He proceeds to explain how scientists used to wonder if they could dissect gold into the smallest pieces. The scientist would continue to dissect a piece of gold up until it regresses to its atom which contains all of its protons, neutrons and electrons. Dawkins then claims that should the scientist try to dissect that atom, the end result would no longer be gold so it that atom serves as a “natural terminator” (Dawkins, 2016, p. 78). This also does not make sense because a scientist does not need to split a gold atom to no longer have it as gold, any chemical change to any element automatically changes its core. For example, a piece of wood on fire is going through the same chemical change as that atom being split. What Dawkins is forgetting here is that gold, or any other element down to its barest form, is a finite thing whilst the forces that Aquinas was referring to, are infinite.

When disputing the fourth argument, Dawkins does not even acknowledge it as a proper argument. Calling it “fatuous”, he took Aquinas principle and applied to how people can be different kinds of smelly by comparing peers, and say that God would have to be the “pre-eminently peerless stinker” (Dawkins, 2016, p. 79). Dawkins mistake here is that he is applying this concept in a very superficial manner. Aquinas’ fourth argument can also be understood on a much deeper, more intrinsic level, the example of fire he used was only used to illustrate it in the simplest terms. Reaching perfection does not just mean physical perfection, but also inner perfection in terms of thoughts, deeds and notions and with God being perfection, Aquinas is saying that everything has the potential to reach that level of perfection.

For the fifth argument, Dawkins mainly uses Charles Darwins’ theory of evolution to debunk it. “Thanks to Darwin, it is no longer true to say that nothing we know looks designed unless it is designed. Evolution by natural selection produces an excellent simulacrum of design, mounting prodigious heights of complexity and elegance.” (Dawkins, 2016, p. 79). My argument to this is rather simple, Aquinas never specified what an “End” is. All he said was that all things work towards one goal and have a set process on getting to that goal. My question to Dawkins is, who is to say evolution is not part of that process? Is it true that once something evolves it changes the way it behaves? Yes, but it does not mean that its original design or what continues to motivate it to reach that End, changes.

These arguments by Dawkins can be considered “true” if you take Aquinas words and apply them to a very one-dimensional plane but as we saw, that was not the point of The Five Ways.

If Aquinas is right and there is an almighty being such as God, how can we have free will if said God already knows what is going to happen? To answer that, let us take it a step back for a moment. The only reason we are able to doubt the existence of God is because he is not in this world with us (if he were then we would witness him in a much greater capacity, removing the doubt). He is in a world outside of time and space, therefore he is able to see what is happens because to Him it already happened. To better illustrate this concept, pretend you are watching a film with a lot of twists and turns that the protagonists experiences. Say you loved the film so you watch it again at a later time but because it is your nth time watching it, you already know what is going to happen. The protagonist, however, does not. No matter how many times you watch it, the protagonist that is in the movie will not know what is going to happen next even though you do. That is the case with God and our world.

Now obviously the only difference is that while you have no power to change what the protagonist does, God has the power to change what we do. So then why does He not when he sees the world in turmoil? Why do good things happen to bad people and why is there such suffering in the world? Well this ties in to both our concept of free will and that God is an all-merciful being. Now when I saw all-merciful, I say it in the sense that God has mercy by continuing to allow us to choose freely thus exercising our free will. The act of giving us the independence to think we are choosing our actions as well as pieces of our own destiny despite being able to take full control is his mercy. Granted it can be taken as an act of benevolence as well, however I believe that God is being more merciful in the sense that he is making us suffer consequences created by our own, finite, power rather than his infinite power.

For instance, say your child accidentally breaks a beautiful vase. You as a parent have far more power over the child, thereby giving you the chance to punish them in any way. You can choose to have them pick up each individual glass piece with their bare hands, knowing they will keep getting cut. A second option would be to punish the child simply by removing a privilege such as television time or you can choose to not punish them at all. But you know that if your child does not learn their lesson, they will most likely do it again.

In the end you decide to have mercy and go with the second option but to the child that punishment is already enough to make them feel terrible. Now, you know that you could have given a much worse punishment but then that would make your child fear you, causing them to restrain themselves as much as possible around you so to not be punished again. Had you gone with the third option, the child would deem this deed normal and continue breaking every beautiful vase they see which will become a chaotic slippery slope.

This is the case with God “allowing” there to be suffering in the world. He knows that if he makes his full presence known to us this very day, it would be our last day even thinking about free will because we would be too scared to stray from his decrees because if we suffer from the consequences of finite beings, the suffering from a consequence of an infinite being is quite frankly, unimaginable. However, if God was constantly kind to us and forgave all of our sins without any sort of punishment, humanity would only degrade. Thus, allowing us to have free will and experiencing the predestined consequences.

As shown through Descartes meditations and Aquinas arguments, God is an omnipotent, omniscient but most importantly, an omnibenevolent being. By showing his mercy through allowing us to continue choosing freely, God leaves our destiny in our hands. These are the arguments I chose to use to defend my support of compatibilism; that free will can be exercised along with determinism. With free will being our ability to choose and determinism being the consequences that follow, it shows a natural order that we can never avoid but it nevertheless allows us to keep choosing even after. These consequences we face are necessary in being able to hold up accountability which is a vital aspect of a functioning society. Yes it is true that God can make anything happen, be it more suffering or no more suffering but as mentioned before, it is His mercy, His kindness that holds Him back from using His full power because once we experience that, there will be no concept of free will what so ever. From this we are left with this medium of being able to do what we want as long as we are prepared to face what we do not want. That is the relationship between us and God in regards to free will.

Some people chase happiness, while others choose happiness. The sole purpose of life is to be happy, to enjoy life, and to get to a place where you are not hoping to get to another. If we look at our inner utmost desire we could see all our dreams are not so different. We all share ONE common goal “Happiness” for ourselves and for the people we love. Not long ago the pursuit of happiness was a personal quest, now happiness has become popular and a matter of national importance in some countries. I really believe that choosing happiness is the only way for everyone to move forward and make positive changes in life whether on a personal or professional level.

What does choosing happiness really mean? And how do we really do it?

Extensive scientific studies in the fields of positive psychology and neuroscience conducted in the past decades reveal that happiness is an attainable skill that can be cultivated by integrating positive habits and practices that could bring more bliss into our lives and the lives of those around us. We all have the opportunity to make ourselves happier by the way we think, approach our lives, the habits we cultivate, and the actions we choose to take.

Constantly, we make conscious choices and various decisions in our lives so why not make a conscious decision to be happy every day of the year? Our happiness level only rises when we stop chasing happiness and start choosing happiness. Therefore, every morning, on waking up set an intention to be happy, to make the best of your day, and to enjoy every moment no matter what, simply because the choice is really powerful.

Happy people choose to be happy regardless of their external circumstances and have rituals. What kind of rituals would you like to introduce to your life in 2019 to make yourself happier?

Identify and introduce one new ritual at a time and make sure it becomes a positive habit before introducing a new one.

A good ritual that can help you increase happiness is Forgiveness.

There is no end to what the power of forgiveness can do. Whether you need to forgive others, or you need to forgive yourself, the spiritual process of forgiveness sets you free from the past and enables you to fulfill your true potential. Forgiveness will clear the bitterness away and stop your suffering.

Yes, suffering! Because if you want to be happy and travel light in the midst of this life, you need to let go of past hurdles, anger, and resentment you have towards your own self or towards any other soul, you need to forgive and make peace.

Ask yourself: what if everything that had happened to me in life really did happen for a reason? What if any challenge I am facing and any pain I am feeling is there to serve me in the long run? What if life was always happening for me and not to me? Your answers will help you find a higher meaning to your past hurdles, and failures, a meaning that can support your growth and evolution into a better human being. Try it!

So how does one learn to forgive especially when the pain was and is still strong?

Follow the steps below to start your healing process:

• Think about the person or the situation you need/ want to forgive.
• Acknowledge your feelings, thoughts, and attitude towards that particular situation or person. Just be genuine and honest. Then, express your desire to heal, forgive and let go of anger, resentment, disappointment…
• Remind yourself of the benefits of forgiveness and its spiritual powers in general then think about the positive impact it will have on you or others if you chose to let it go.
• Remember a past time when you found forgiveness in your heart, how did you do it, and why?
• Put yourself in a state of gratitude, in a complete state of thankfulness for the gift of life that you have, the forgiving process becomes easier when you are in that state. Note that you cannot be in two different states at the same time, if you are in a gratitude state you cannot be in a fear or pain state at the same time.
• Cultivate genuine compassion for those who have wronged you. Deepen your understanding that people sometimes they hurt others because they feel insecure, unappreciated, fearful, starving for love, and lacking certainty.
• Think about a role model, the great masters of forgiveness like Nelson Mandala, mother Theresa, or Dalai Lama, read their stories, and get inspired.
• Remember a time when you were forgiven.

Most people think that the act of forgiveness is the hardest and most impossible thing to do. Today I tell you, change your perception and your feelings and attitude will follow. Forgiveness gives you great power, makes you stronger over past mistakes, and helps you move on.

Forgiveness is the key to happiness. Remember a healed memory is not a deleted memory. Let go and just be amazed by what you see through the eyes of grace.

Imagine an advanced future society where there is no war and no pain. Where there is no sorrow and hate. No one has a problem with anyone. But at the cost of vital human emotions such as love, happiness, and basic human choice. In The Giver their advanced society does it this way where everyone is assigned to them from a lifelong job even to their life partner. I don’t think that a society as depicted in the book The Giver would be a perfect society.

Jonas’ Society limits all the choices that its citizens has to almost zero. Your spouse is determined by the government of the society like every other thing from your job to whether or not you have a baby assigned to your “family” unit. The community in The Giver hold a Ceremony of Age each year where they assign you something depending on your age. At the Ceremony of One is where babies are given names and placed with family units. The removal of the human right of free choice would make a society without choice almost sub-human.

Emotions are what make humans human and by taking those away you are taking basic human nature. In The Giver Jonas starts to not take the injections that remove the emotions from the citizens in his community, and in the first few days he finally sees his first color, the red of and apple. Eliminating human emotion would solve some problems, but it would not be appropriate to take away the joy and the happiness and love that people feel in their everyday lives. Eliminating love and hate should not be done because it takes away a part of the what makes humans human.

If we were to eliminate choices and emotions from humans it could create a perfect utopia. Without choice humans would not create conflicts or wars because there was no reason for them to hate or resent others. It would also eliminate all the homeless people by giving them free housing, family, and a job like everyone else. While hate and resentment brings war and death, with hate there is also love and truly caring for another human, and living without the ability to be loved by another human or being able to truly love anyone else sounds like a horrible way to live a life.

The community in The Giver would a horrible dystopian society that would turn humans into emotionless drones. I don’t believe there could ever be a utopian city but my thinking is different from many other humans. And we could find out what other humans think by discussion and considering what they think and coming to a compromise that might help each other. I think discussion of what could make human lives better could lead to the betterment of the world as a whole.