Category: Arranged Marriage

Marriage among the Hindus is a Sacramental Relation. This paper deals with Evolution and History of Hindu Marriage. It shows the ancient perspective of marriage and its customs. The paper elaborates forms of marriage practiced during the ancient era. It explains the changes and progress of marriage from the Vedic period to the current date. The Dharmasastra is the original customary rules for Hindu religion, and this paper shows how much the time has drifted our culture from original form.

INTRODUCTION

Hindu marriage brings two people for eternal bond of life , so they can serve the purpose of Dharma (duties), Arth ( meaning) and Kama. The Marriage ties two families together and everybody celebrate this union. Blessed by elders, blessed by the gods, the Hindu marriage is filled with rituals and lights to chase the darkness away. Hindu marriage holds a tradition that is held and followed through out the years. Right from the ancient period Hindu marriage is not just a ritual for consummation, it is merging of two souls that vows to be together forever. The ritual and produces of Hindu wedding differs from people to people, region to region but the core is Vedic yajna ritual and three ritual play a key role in every marriage: 1) Kanyadan ( a father giving his daughter to the groom), 2) Panigrdra (marriage ritual happening before the sacred fire showcasing the union ) and 3) Saptapedi ( the seven steps and vows). The primary witness of the marriage is fire (agni).

According to Indian law no marriage is complete unless and until the seven steps and vow are done.

TYPES OF MARRIAGE

Brahma marriage

It is a marriage where a man does marriage of daughter to a man who has well versed himself in Hindu Vedas. The man invites the groom himself. The parents of the girl learn everything about the groom‘s background. Through out India it is considered to be the best form of marriage. It holds high position of social progress. This method of marriage was free from force, condition and imposing etc. Brahmins followed this method.

Technically it is like a arranged marriage term used now a day where the family of both brides and the groom are holding the marriage with no compulsion of any sort. The girl’s concern is considered in the styles of marriage.

Daiva marriage

This is practiced when woman doesn’t get a perfect marriage and is married a person (groom) chosen by the family or give her to priest as dakshina. These types of marriage often followed to create a diplomatic tie between enemies, allies, friends etc. in royal families during ancient times. They propose this marriage for political reasons and make allies to secure the future. Jodhabai’s marriage with Abkar by her father Bharmal, Uttara’s marriage with Abimanyu and Gandhari’s marriage with Dhirutharashren are few examples. Though now a day this type of marriage is hardly practiced. Some business delegates and political figures in India follow Daiva marriage but with the name of Brahma marriage wrapped over them.

Arsha marriage

An Arsha marriage where a woman is married to a sage or rishi in exchange of bulls and cows. These sages are powerful and their demand can’t be refused. Even kings cannot stand against them. Sage Agasthaya married Lopamudra under arsha marriage and many sage in Mahabharatha got married this way.

Prajapatya marriage

In this marriage no monetary trades and kanyadan is required. In this the pair swore vows and live their life keeping up to the vows. The wife should be treated as companion for secular and religious matters. They vow a bond to face every problem together, pay their debts and raise their children. In this the bride’s father goes in search of the perfect groom and treats him with respect and welcomes him to marry his daughter with respect.

It’s almost similar like the modern day arrange marriage but involvement of the money is not happening. Here the bride’s concern is considered as well as the groom’s. Though sometimes it will be the groom’s family searching for the brides, and during ancient times it was considered to be a shameful act .

Gandharva marriage

This is love marriage of ancient times. The union of man and his lady love without parents knowledge is called Gandharva marriage. The man and woman fall in love and with each others concern they tie each other in marriage. This is not a sating like modern culture. In this the couple take vows of marriage and exchange promises in presence some person or nature.

There are many marriages in this type in ancient time. King Dushyanta and Shakunthala’s marriage were married in this method.

Asura marriage

In Asura marriage, the bridegroom gives as wealth he could to marry a girl. The payment to father is made and bride is complied to marry the bridegroom even he is not the compatible one. Sometimes the groom may also pose abnormalities which are blinded by the payment. During ancient ties a woman was objectified and a man could pay the price if he desires to marry her. In this marriage woman’s concern and her wish are not considered at all. Sometimes if girl’s father is burdened with debt the groom would pay the debts off and in return the father would pay marry his to the groom. This type makes father in debt to the groom and even if the bride is not willing to marry the groom she is complied. But in some cases the bride would willing o marry the groom.

During ancient times this was practiced by many kings and prince who desires to marry the princess. King Dasaratha gave a large amount to marry princess kaikaiyi and it is said that King Pandu paid a huge amount to King of Madra to marry his daughter Madri.

Rakshasa marriage

This method was used by man who wages war against the girl’s family and overcome them and claim the girl as his trophy, kidnap them and force them into marriage. The man who force woman into a marriage with himself is regarded as rakshas( demons). This marriage completely violates girls right and choices. Rakshasa marriage is a punishable act today. This method is considered as rape in modern times.

Arjun – Subadra’s marriage in Mahabharatha was regarded as rakshasa marriage but Lord Krishana dismissed it saying both bride and groom were in love prior marriage and it is a Gandharva marriage

Paishaca marriage

In this marriage girl’s wish never mattered. The man who love the girl seduces her, sleeping under intoxicated or mental instability. This type is considered as inferior compared to others. A woman is forced into this marriage even she is completely against it. Bride ‘s family gets nothing out of it. This regarded as sinful in Manusmirti. In modern days it is Date rape that is punishable under law.

EVOLUTION OF HINDU MARRIAGE

Over hundreds of years humans evolved gradually creating and accepting the changes around us. Humans changed drastically with every period of existence of life. Certainly Hindu cultures did undergo many changes. Right from the start of civilization switch did happen, from Vedic era to Medieval era then to modern era.

Marriage in Matriarchal era

During Indus valley civilization, woman were respected and was given high status of goddess that eventually brought the existence of Matriarchal society. As the word suggests the female spouses were given privileges. A man would marry a woman and live next the bride’s parents house. Their children would be brought up with them. Therefore the girl children would stay with their family even after the marriage . It forms the bond of 4-5 generations girl children living together.

Cross culture

There are certain evidences that shows practice of cross cultural matrimony incidents. This evidence is assumed of belonging to harappan age. It was concluded that harappans might have involved in cross cultural marriages.

Polygamy and Monogamy

Polygamy and polyandry were practiced during the ancient times. It were very lawful act those days. When a woman are unable to fulfill the duty or religious matters or have complications in getting a child, especially if they fail to produce the male child their husband have free privileges to marry another woman again. A man is allowed to marry any count of wives he wants. This method was famous with kshatriyas. In Mahabharatha, Draupadi married 5 pandavas because of their mother’s wish but Draupadi’s own family was against it. This was the practice of polyandry where one woman had more than one husband. While the pandavas followed polygamy , Arjuna the third pandava married four women Subathdra ( krishnan’s sister), Chitragada, Ulpuli including Draupadi.

But viewing Vedic period. Its vivid that polygamy was not practiced. It was during the medieval times this did come to act. Certainly with passing of time polygamy was replaced with monogamy. Though bigamy still in practice under the wraps. Monogamy held right as standard method in modern times.

Concept of Swayamvara

Swayamvara is of Vedic culture. It was such famous in royal families that is during the middles ages. Sita and Rama were married this way in Ramayana. Kunti and Pandu also got married by swayamvara in Mahabharata. In the swayamvara is arranged by Kings for their daughter. The brides (kings daughter) were given chance to choose the groom according to abilities. Brides parents invite the best man around the place for the swayamvara. The bride is given knowledge about every participants prior to the event. The bride would see all the men and put the garland around the man she desires to marry.

Sometimes the father would keep some competition for the suitors to test their strength and abilities that help in selection. In Mahabharata, Draupadi’s swayamvaram had such task was kept forth. In Ramayana, Sita’s swayamvaram had the task which Rama won and got married to her.

Patriarchy

Slowly the society changed its perspective as orthodox mentality. The matriarchal went towards the Patriarchy and caste based rules. In this the prominence of woman was taken away and they lost their freedom. They were placed under the male guardianship forever and woman went to their husbands house after marriage.

MODERN HINDU MARRIAGE

AS the days past, cultural and tradition was compromised. The religion methods and practices were changing drastically due to the invasion of Muslim rulers and British, Dutch, French colonialism. The Foreign rulers were unable to understand the religious customs of our country and they imposed their religion into our soil and propagated their customs. Their interference in Hindu customs was acknowledged. Gradually people were fascinated with western culture. This influence affected the root of Hindu philosophy and culture.

Though some changes are considered for betterment of our live. Certain changes did brings great things to the culture. As it was clear some specific cultural action in Hinduism were violating our own right to live . With the rapid moving of time, modernizing our thoughts was the only option to survive the developing world. The English education altered the perspective of the relationship. With western tradition in our country, Hindu marriage customs went through major changes which had merits and demerits as usual. Here are the significant points about the changes:

Marriage is not as important as it was prior and was not considered mandatory. In ancient times marriage was compulsory for both men and women. A man who does not have son wouldn’t attain salvation. One can’t perform yajna without a spouse. It was a need for religious matters. But due to Foreign cultures men and women does not consider marriage necessary. Educated women doesn’t want to accept the slavery of males. They do not consider ancient religious values at all. Ancient custom rejects the matrimony of people in same gotra and paver. In present these are not practiced and it is restricted by the law too.

During middle age the tradition of child marriage was in the trend. After the passing of Sarada Act (child marriage restraint act 1929). This became unlawful and a criminal offence. This leads to promise of women ’s education. Previously inter caste marriage was restricted and was considered a sin. But now it is a lawful permitted. Sue the raise of co-education and the ideals of equality and freedom, these marriages are sign of modern development.

After immense effort of social reformers Hindu remarriage was accepted. Formally widows were thrown in fire with the dead husband as a practice of sati. Due to the efforts of Raja Ram it vanished. Widow remarriage was restricted those days and was seen as wrong act in the eyes of Hindu society. Later British enacted Widow remarriage act in 1856. Along with time, Hindu Society accepted the remarriage and was encouraged for the betterment of women.

Rejection of polygamy was the great effort towards woman right. According to Hindu marriage Act Polygamy unlawful and punishable. One shouldn’t marry another woman when the first wife is alive. The Hindu marriage act gives privilege of Separation of their marriage under certain conditions. In ancient once united by holy theme of marriage they cant separate until death but now any body not willing to live together they can apply for divorce.

Love marriage

Love marriage is common method now a day. It is between two people who choose each other as their life partners. These happen as the result of infatuation. Love marriage has its own consequences at the end. Inter caste, Interfaith marriages are still unacceptable concepts among many Hindu society . Many love marriages has ended violently but some are united forever. The results depend on their faith and trust on each other. Under law inter caste has no issue but inter faith marriage should be done under special marriage.

Same-sex marriage has started in India. It is still a bending approval in Supreme court. Many High court has approved living together but hasn’t made same-sex marriage legal. Still protest are going on for this issue. But people consider this against the Indian culture .

Live-in relationship

It is next issue that is traumatizing Hindu culture. A man and woman live together without life long commitment and without wedlock. Today Society does not make a face on this concept. Couples follow these methods for various reasons and some of them are , to under stand each other before marriage, couples whom completely gave up on Hindu culture and stopped believing them. Most couples who involve in this either split up or marriage each other but doesn’t live like that forever. This method is still not encouraged in many areas in India.

Conclusion

Right form start of human existence in this earth, changes are the only constant and permanent thing or action. Every period of time evolved gradually and the changes were accepted. People changed and cultures changed and marriages changed. Still the Hindu custom of marriage are followed but with slight changes. The influence of western culture is the main reason but not every change affected the culture in the wrong way. Not every custom and tradition were a favorable one for Hindus. Some were right violating their right of liberty and right to live, hence these evolution were a gain too. But at the same time some budding issues are completely against Indian culture and moral codes. There are various laws to protect the culture and the person from the injustice. Its personal right of major to select a person of their own choice as a mate. So there no imposing on them regarding the marriage.

Hindu marriage act and special marriage act secure the people whose rights of marriage are violated. Evolution of Hindu marriage had its own pros and cons respective to the person. We people accept the change and move on to the next generations.

Arranged and forced marriage are two completely different terms that are misconstrued by the media, often making it indistinguishable. Arranged marriage is when parents/guardians take lead to find a suitable spouse for their son or daughter. The two parties involved have the free will to go forward with the proposal. However, forced is when the son or daughter does not have a say in the matter and is coerced into the marriage.

There are devasting effects when this harmful practice takes place and therefore, the UK government have made new legislations/ major changes to marital law that would benefit those involved in the long run. Some may regard the arranged marriage route as a backward practice when in fact statistics have revealed that divorce rates have increased in love marriages. According to a study by Statistic Brain in 2012 it exposed that precisely 53.25% of marriages that were arranged worldwide, were evidently a success in the divorce rate, which was 6.3%. Forcing a person to marry against their wishes is a criminal offence. In this paper I will explore how the UK laws have been adapted to ensure that a forced marriage does not occur, the point of view of British Bangladeshi brides and grooms, why parents put their children through this dilemma and what is Islam’s standing on this debate.

For centuries, many changes were made to marital law in order to promote the well-being of individuals. During the 1740’s, it was common practice for couples, predominantly in wealthy families, to marry where one of the partners was still a juvenile. In 1753, Lord Hardwicke endorsed the Marriage Act, which stipulated that all marriage ceremonies had to be conducted in the presence of a minister in a religious building for it to be legally binding. Also, parental permission for a person under the age of 21 was required before a marriage could take place. By 1929, the age limit was changed by parliament to the minimum age of 16 in response to a campaign by the National Union of Societies for Equal Citizenship. The age limit has remained unchanged to this day. In England, Wales and Northern Ireland, it is permissible to get married at the age of 16 if parental consent is granted. Without parental consent, a young person can choose to marry from the age of 18. However, the government’s Forced Marriage Unit provided advice to 1300 people who were possible victims of a forced marriage in 2013, highlighting the extent to which UK laws are ineffective at preventing such marriages. Being forced into marriage is a fundamental violation of human rights. Therefore, legislations have been set by the UK government to support vulnerable people in not only England and Wales, but UK nationals too, who are overseas and are facing potential risk of entering a forced marriage.

Currently, a new legislation has been passed stating that under domestic law it is an offence to force a UK national into marriage that is outside the UK, making it triable in courts in England and Wales. The government has sanctioned seven years imprisonment and/or an unlimited fine for this new offence of forced marriage to ensure the safety of individuals, as forced marriages involve a wide range of abuse including rape, assault and unlawful captivity.

According to Home Secretary Theresa May, “a forced marriage is a tragedy for each and every victim, and its very nature means that many cases go unreported.” This not only demonstrates that forced marriages are destructive, but also identifies the extent of the damage that it causes upon its victims. To confront this issue, she was “proud to say that the UK is already a world-leader in the fight to stamp out this harmful practice with the government’s Forced Marriage Unit working hard to tackle this terrible practice in the UK and overseas.” Therefore, since many laws have been passed, it highlights the growing number of forced marriages across the UK and how many people are potential victims. Moreover, with today’s criminalisation by the government, victims are ensured the protection by the law and have been given confidence, safety and freedom to choose.

Arranged Marriages in Sikh Society

Women have to live up to the norms and standards established by the patriarchal majority. Should they fail to meet them, they would face discrimination and abuse in any form, from verbal attacks to physical torture and even murder.

From this story comes another one, also related to gender inequality among the Sikhs. The young woman described by Davis (2016) said she had barely known her husband when they were married. The phrase raises the issue of arranged marriages as another form of gender inequality and violence against women in the Sikh community. Arranged marriages deny women the right to choose a partner and a husband. It also denies a woman the right to live her life in an atmosphere of mutual love and support. Arranged marriages have nothing to do with love; nor do they have anything to do with freedom, free choice, independent decision-making, autonomy, and justice. In many respects, they are similar to century-old claims that women are physiologically inferior to women (Gould, 2017). As a result, many women in Sikh society spend their entire lives in a vacuum, unable to overcome patriarchal barriers to equality or question their cultural norms. They may not be anthropologically inferior to men; yet, their culture degrades them to the point where they become socially and culturally inferior to men.

Supporters of arranged marriages believe that they can protect women from unexpectedness and give them a sense of certainty in their family life. Some others think that arranged marriages give families an opportunity to get to know each other and develop closer ties before their children are scheduled to get married (Shepparton Interfaith Network, 2018). Finally, arranged marriages guarantee that women brought up in Sikh society marry a Sikh man and stay in to contribute to their community (Shepparton Interfaith Network, 2018). Thus, apart from denying women their right to seek love in marriage, Sikh society by means of arranged marriages also denies women an opportunity to leave the community, if they feel they need it to promote their professional growth and achieve greater personal self-worth.

In this context, the issue of arranged marriages is intricately related to the problem of interfaith relationships. It is another facet of the gender inequality issue in Sikh society. “I never thought that the day would come when I would be frightened and terrorized by people of my own faith”, – says a young Buddhist woman who was going to marry a Sikh (Parveen, 2016). Pressure to avoid interfaith marriages in Sikh society has become particularly high. Hundreds of Sikh protesters in Britain and other countries threaten members of their community not to marry out of their faith (Parveen, 2016). Surprisingly or not, their aggression did not target the Sikh man; instead, they threatened the Buddhist woman for violating their cultural and religious norms. These actions certainly deny the image of equality, peace, fairness, diversity, and inclusivity cultivated by Sikhs.

Someone might say that gender inequality in Sikh culture and society, from dowry to arranged marriages and interfaith relationships, is merely an indispensable component of their living. Therefore, it should not be interpreted as gender inequality per se. In this sense, the argument resembles the one regarding veiling (or covering) among Muslim women (Abu-Lughod, 2017). According to Abu-Lughod (2017), veiling should not take as a lack of power and agency in Muslim women. The problem is that, unlike veiling in Muslim women, dowry and arranged marriages in Sikh society lead to violence and disrupt the integrity of women’s gender identities. Unlike veiling, which is obvious and omnipresent, gender inequality in Sikh society occurs behind closed doors. This fact alone adds complexity to the situation. Women in Sikh society, which positions itself as a model of equality, have to endure the legacy of their traditions and norms, having little opportunity to oppose the pressure of perceived inferiority in their culture. These patriarchal norms dominate the lives of women and the way they perceive their social status (Kaur & Gill, 2018). Despite the growing publicity, Sikh society takes little action to improve the position of women and create conditions for reducing gender inequality.

In conclusion, Sikhs discuss their commitment to gender equality. Sikh writings present men and women as being equally close to God. Yet, in reality, women in Sikh communities face different forms of gender inequality, from dowry to arranged marriages. These practices remain increasingly prevalent among Sikhs. Women face physical violence from husbands who are not satisfied with the amount of money paid by their wives’ parents. Women are denied a chance to marry the men they love. They are severely criticized for interfaith marriages. As such, gender inequality remains a daily reality for thousands of Sikh women.

The Middle East is the origin of the three main religions in the world, including Judaism, Christianity, and Islam. Historical facts reveal that Christianity dominated the Middle East in the period around the 1st century until the Muslim conquest occurred in the 7th century AD. There are diverse traditions and beliefs prevalent in the Middle East Christianity, which differs from other parts of the world. Presently, Christianity is only 5% in the Middle East population from a whopping 20% in the 20th century (Spierings, 2019). Although history reveals unknown facts concerning Middle East Christians, the predominant religion in the areas is Islam as approximately 20% of the global population of Islam lives in Middle East (Anson, 2017). Therefore, their marriage customs involve Islamic practices and traditions. The Middle East comprises of 17 countries, which influences different marriage relations and practices depending on the government regulations and country of origin. However, most Muslim people globally conform to the Islamic practices and laws specified in the Quran during marriage ceremonies.

Religion

Crocco, Pervez, and Katz (2009) assert that Middle East regions are predominantly known for laws that control the dress codes of travelers within the nation. The ideas resulting from the Quran teachings, which require women to dress modestly, include wearing a headscarf. Women traveling to Middle East countries regardless of their customs require wearing or at least being in possession of a lightweight headscarf. Women, who do not conform to the preferred dress code, which include wearing a long hijab, gain unwanted attention from grown men, and grinning from teens.

As a monotheistic religion, Islam is believed to function as an extension of both Christianity and Judaism. The belief starts from the understanding that Muhammad, God’s prophet sent to man, is the last prophet. Muslims hold that Adam was the first prophet, then came John the Baptist, Jesus, and lastly, Muhammad in that order. There are three main groups of Muslim religious groups comprising of the Sunni, the Shia, and the Ahmaduyya. The Sunni forms the large following then comes the Shia, and lastly, the Ahmadiyya who form the smallest sect of them all. Most Muslims term the Ahmadis as a heretical (Hunt, 2018).

Motzafi-Haller (2016) suggests that the two main sects of Islam, which comprise of the Shia and the Sunni, conflict in the Middle East. Although the sects are in agreement with the fundamental tenets and teaching of the Quran, they differ in different aspects. The main difference is on the person, who led the Muslim community after Prophet Muhammad’s death. The main schism between the sects was the Siffin Battle. As years passed by, additional challenges occurred as the sects now differ in culture, beliefs, and practices (Ostovar, 2018). The two communities depict a significant number of conflicts over the years. The Sunnis’ community dominates most part of the Middle East.

However, Kaynak, (2015) suggests that Shia is categorized into three main groups consisting of the Zaidis, Twelvers, and the Ismailis. The Twelvers are the most influential and largest group among the Shia sect members, which comprise of approximately 88% of the Shia people (Reiss, 2011). Approximately 95% of the Shia population in the Middle East resides in Iran, with 55% and 65% residing in Iran and Bahrain respectively (Momani, 2015). Similarly, the Zaydi Muslims form approximately 40% of the Yemen population (Cora, Derderian, & Sipahi, 2016). The Zaydi’s Muslim sect emerged out of Shia Islam in the 8th century. The name Zaidi originated from Husayn Ibn ‘Ali,’ a man they recognized as their fifth Imam. Husayn gave the sect the name of his grandson. Zayid’s Islamic jurisprudence comprises approximately 40% of Yemen Muslims (Canefe, 2018). Zaidis differ from the other sects, as they do not believe in Taqiyya, religious dissimulation.

Moreover, Schroeder (2019) views that the Alawis also termed as the Alawiyyah, the Nusayriya, or the Alawites, refers to a syncretic sect from the Twelver branch from the Shia Islam. The Alawis predominantly reside in Syria where they revere Ali ibn Abi Talib, also known as Ali. The sect holds that Ali is the first Imam in the Twelver school, but is seen as Ghulat by other Shia Islam sects. Ibn Nusayr is also believed to have founded the religion during the 9th century when it was fully established. Hence, the Alawites sometimes might be referred to as the Nusayris, where they are called the نصيرية‎, Nusayriyyah in Arabic. Despite its use, in recent time, the time has been used to depict contempt. Similarly, Ostovar, (2018) use of terms such as Ansari, Ansarriyyah in Arabic, have received a belief of mistransliteration where it is called the Nusayri.

Modern research confirms that 11% of the Syrian population consists of Alawites with few of them residing in Northern Lebanon and Turkey (Kaynak, 2015). The village of Ghajar in Golan Heights also reports the existence of the Alawites population. The main confusion arises between the Alevis, who are mainly based in Turkey and the Alawites. Most towns and coasts in Syria comprise of dominant groups of the Alawites, but some are Ismailis, Christians, while others are Sunnis. The traditional resident of the Alawites is the An-Nusayriyah Mountains through the Mediterranean Coast in Syria (Reiss, 2011). Tartus and Latakia form the region’s main cities, which forms part to the resident of the large Alawite’s around Homs and Hama. Historically, the Alawites are known to conceal the details of their religion to non-initiated Alawites among other nonbelievers. The main focus of the Alawite belief system comprises of three aspects of one God. Approximately 12% of Syria population comprise of Alawites, who prefer life in the larger cities with statistics holding that 2.6 million people of the 22 million Syrians are Alawites (Momani, 2015).

Ultimately, Cora et al. (2016) assert that the last and the smallest group of syncretic Islam are the Alevism. The heterodox group uses the combination of traditions used by the Sufi, Shia, the locals, and the Sunni. The ideas thrive on the teachings of the Twelve Imams, named Ali, a descendant of Saint Haji Bektash Veli, a 13th century’s Alevi. The Alevis mostly reside in Turkey among the ethnic community of the Kurds and the Turks. Canefe (2018) holds that approximately 10%-25% of the population, which translates to 10 million to 25 million, comprises of the Alevi’s Islamic brand. Their practices involve the use of cemevi halls as opposed to the use of mosques as a place for worship.

Moreover, Spierings (2019) men and women are allowed to take part in worship ceremonies involving dancing, music, and wine. They also fail to meet the five days requirement by Muslims’ requirement of five days salat and prostrations in a daily manner for five days. Common practices involve bowing twice before their spiritual leaders. Events such as Hajj and Ramadan are seen as acts of true pilgrimage. Ostovar (2018) argues that the Alevis possesses similar traits prevalent among the Twelver Shia Islams, but fail to follow Taqlid towards Marja as an emulation source. Some of the similarities involve the Ahl al Bayr, the commemoration of the Karbala, observation of the Morning Muharram, and the Ashuras observed during the day. There are some elements prevalent among Alevis that are adopted from tariqa, Bektashi.

Marriage Customs

Anson (2017) suggests that the Quran holds that Muslim couples are like clothing to figurative mean that they should comfort and protect one another. The husband and wife relations should involve a show and concealing the human body because the couple is made for one another. Most matters of marriage are derived from the Quran, as Islam believes that the sacred text presents the wishes of Allah to his followers, Muslims. Muslims hold marriages with high esteem, as it is the preserve of religion. Hunt (2018) views that Muslims believe that the constructive and productive nature of the family helps create good and righteous people in the society. Equally, families encourage and compete with members to create good works that serve Allah, God.

Similarly, Hunt (2018) emphasizes that single women travelling alone require bringing a ring that resembles a wedding band. Carrying a photo of a man, who would pass as their husband to be is also vital. The pseudo wedding band helps the single female remains off the market. However, having children is also a valuable aspect in Middle East countries, when asked, one can gracefully address the question with inshallah, which means that you are open to the idea, but God’s will is the ultimatum of it.

Despite the different groups of Muslims and contradicting beliefs, Motzafi-Haller (2016) demonstrates that Muslims believe in Polygyny. However, there are some restrictions that come with polygyny while polyandry is highly discouraged. According to Chapter 4 Quran Verse 3, it shows the number of women that a man can marry and the conditions for marrying the women (Anson, 2017). According to the Quran, marrying more than a man can take care of is considered an injustice to the parties involved. The verse that says, “…but if you are unable to justly deal with more than one wife up to four, you should not marry them,” confirms that the Prophet allows multiple wives so long as the husband will not falter his duties (Schroeder, 2019). The groom must kiss the bride three times and one time on the cheek and the forehead respectively (Crocco et al., 2009).

Although polygamy remains an acceptable practice among Muslims, Spierings (2019) asserts that recent times have recorded a decline in the practice. Muslim countries such as Tunisia and Turkey have made polygamy illegitimate. However, over 150 countries, including the Middle East and countries in Africa still maintain their legibility. The 20th century incorporates significant changes to the Islamic culture, including the rise of feminist movements, which has caused a significant reduction in the number of polygamous marriages. Changes in the economic landscape involve strategies that champion women empowerment with the existence of practices such as family planning (Crocco, Pervez, & Katz (2009). Resultantly, polygamy registers decline as a viable and acceptable marriage practice in the Muslim world.

Further, Cora, Derderian, and Sipahi (2016) assert that Islamic laws forbid homosexual relations. However, the most condemned parties are homosexual males based on Quran teachings. Similar, interfaith partners and marriages are highly restricted, especially among women. However, the laws are less strict when a Muslim man desires to marry a non-Muslim woman. Errors in the Islamic Jurisprudence principle school that adheres to Sharia’s regulations by Alex B. Leeman confirms that a Muslim woman should stick to marrying a Muslim man (Canefe, 2018). However, a Muslim man can marry only a Jew or a Christian woman. The only limitation is that the woman should be a non-Mormonist, non-Jesuit, and non-Catholic.

According to Quran (5:5) and (60:10) believing women need to maintain their chastity, and the ones lawful to them. The lawfully given man to a chaste woman is the one, who has released dowry and married the woman. The verse discourages fornication and acts involving paramours’ secrets (Reiss, 2011). Similarly, believing Muslims are discouraged from marrying non-Muslim believers because Allah will judge them. However, the changing times report Muslim scholars, who have moved from the Sharia laws. The scholars reinterpret and re-examine the traditional beliefs towards Sharia interpretations. Islamic scholars present their interpretations with approved and established methodologies, which are extensively rejected by most orthodox Islamic scholars (Momani, 2015).

In conclusion, marriage and religious customs in Middle Eastern countries continue to change with time. The Islamic faith, especially in Middle Eastern countries has maintained most of their practices. For instance, single women to wear marriage bands and headscarf when visiting Middle East countries regardless of their region. The discourse depicts the desire for the extensively Islamic nation to maintain most of its sacred obligations outlined in the Quran. Equally, discouraging holding hands and kissing in public places ensures they observe their religious obligations. Despite the strict observation of religious practices, the changes in the social landscape and increased desire for feminists seem to corrupt the good culture of the Middle East countries. Practices such as homosexuality are highly condemned and recent scholars are seeking to provide new methodologies on Quran interpretations. If observed, the increased desire for independence, especially on women might change the religious aspect of the Muslim society in Middle East countries. However, Sharia jurisprudence on religion and marriage practices seen in Middle East countries remain strong in ensuring the society adheres to the teachings and practices of Allah.

Arranged marriages are not always wonderful, but they are not always favorable, so before anyone decides to have one, you should think about it. First, let’s get into a little background information about it, arranged marriages started in the 20th century in the united states. In arranged marriages parents, religious leaders, and matchmakers choose the partner their children will marry. The disadvantages of arranged marriages are you have no excitement in dating, you probably will never love them, and you will live with someone you scarcely know. The advantages are you don’t have to stress to find love, four percent of couples in arranged marriages get divorced, and it prevents law fights.

Have you ever heard of the common saying you can choose your friends? Well, you can but if you have an arranged marriage someone else can choose your marital partner. You won’t have the joys of dating because someone said ‘’ This is the person you’re going to spend the rest of your life with’’. It is a fifty percent chance you will never love them, and that’s something awful to think about, no one wants to marry and possibly have children with someone they never loved. You won’t get the chance to deeply know them if you automatically get married and don’t date that person. Yes, you can get to know them, but of course, that is what dating is for, but if you want an arranged marriage get ready for your elders to pick.

Despite having disadvantages, there are advantages to arranged marriages. Four percent of couples who have an arranged marriage get divorced because you can grow to admire your significant other. Most people have those family members who look down on you, if you are in your late 20s and 30s and not married yet. If you don’t want to stress about finding the person, you’re going to spend your life with having an arranged marriage is a remarkable option for you, and you won’t

Arranged marriages are not always wonderful, but they are not always favorable, so before anyone decides to have one, you should think about it. First, let’s get into a little background information about it, arranged marriages started in the 20th century in the united states. In arranged marriages parents, religious leaders, and matchmakers choose the partner their children will marry. The disadvantages of arranged marriages are you have no excitement in dating, you probably will never love them, and you will live with someone you scarcely know. The advantages are you don’t have to stress to find love, four percent of couples in arranged marriages get divorced, and it prevents law fights.

Have you ever heard of the common saying you can choose your friends? Well, you can but if you have an arranged marriage someone else can choose your marital partner. You won’t have the joys of dating because someone said ‘’ This is the person you’re going to spend the rest of your life with’’. It is a fifty percent chance you will never love them, and that’s something awful to think about, no one wants to marry and possibly have children with someone they never loved. You won’t get the chance to deeply know them if you automatically get married and don’t date that person. Yes, you can get to know them, but of course, that is what dating is for, but if you want an arranged marriage get ready for your elders to pick.

Despite having disadvantages, there are advantages to arranged marriages. Four percent of couples who have an arranged marriage get divorced because you can grow to admire your significant other. Most people have those family members who look down on you, if you are in your late 20s and 30s and not married yet. If you don’t want to stress about finding the person, you’re going to spend your life with having an arranged marriage is a remarkable option for you, and you won’t have to deal with elders asking why are you not married yet. Everyone loathes difficult in-laws, in-laws who have a problem with everything you do whether it’s how you dress to your career choice. Arranged marriages prevent those in law fights because your elders pick them so, of course, your family members should have no choice but to love your spouse.

To sum up, arranged marriages can have disadvantages, and they can also have advantages it’s up for a person to decide. In some countries, it is a tradition to have your elders choose your significant other. Most people would be happy with their partner, but others won’t and would probably stay with them for their family’s approval. In my research about arranged marriage, a study said that fifty percent of couples in love marriages get divorced, and four percent of those who are in arranged marriages get divorced. I have the choice to have an arranged marriage think about what you’re getting into, it can be either the worst decision you make or the best decision you make.

Claim: Interpersonal relationships aren’t the same in every culture.

Rationale:

The topic of interpersonal attraction and its similarities and differences across cultures is often debated about. The question of whether culture affects relationships, especially romantic ones has often had many stereotypes surrounding it. This shows that many people believe that interpersonal relationships are different across cultures, which is what this essay will discuss.

Interpersonal relationships are defined as the social connections or affiliations, whether it be romantic or platonic, between two people (Oxford University Press, 2011). In psychology, interpersonal relationships are influenced by 6 main things:

• Proximity
• Familiarity
• Similarity
• Physical Attractiveness
• Psychological attractiveness and the reciprocity principle
• Biosocial explanations

The investigation is exploring the effect of culture on interpersonal relationships rather than the reasons for those relationships occurring. For this reason, the investigation will mainly focus on the aspects of interpersonal attraction that would be affected by people coming from different cultures. Interpersonal relationships and a person’s cultural background affecting that relationship were chosen to be researched due to the rapid change in relationships worldwide. For example, a recent statistic showed a trend in people in East Asian cultures to view the emotional investment as a less important factor in relationships (Sternberg and Weis, 2006). Also, divorce rates in Australia alone have actually decreased to 38% in 2018 compared to 51% in 2001 (ABS, 2018).

Interpersonal relationships can include both romantic and platonic relationships. In order to narrow the investigation, the type of relationship that will be investigated is romantic. Also, seeing as exploring relationships across all cultures would be too difficult, as it is too broad a spectrum, the investigation will focus on Asia specifically. Asian culture was chosen as it has a long history of arranged marriage and other marital rituals but, in recent times, many of those traditions have become less common. To summarise, the claim that Interpersonal relationships aren’t the same in every culture was chosen because of the changing perception of relationships within cultures throughout the world.

Research question:

Do Asian cultures view interpersonal attraction in couples as a valuable factor in relationships?

Evidence:

Multiple sources have been researched and collected to help gather evidence on the research question.

An article by Shu-wen Wang and Anna S. Lau was written on a study conducted involving the cross-cultural psychology of support seeking (mutual and non-mutual). This research helps establish any cultural differences between the social norms surrounding support seeking in Asia compared to other cultures. This is relevant to this paper as it can show any foundational differences socially in Asia. These broad differences can then be branched off into more specific avenues, such as their views on how valuable interpersonal attraction is in a relationship.

Shu-wen Wang and Anna S. Lau’s experiment comprised 41 non-migrant (3rd generation or later) European Americans (EA) as well as 41 migrants (1st or 2nd generation) Asian Americans (AA). The experimental design they used was independent groups. Participants were first asked to complete a baseline measure of mood and afterward, they were asked to complete a 3-minute period dedicated to the preparation of a speech.

After the preparation period, one of two writing conditions — mutual support or non-mutual support — was randomly allocated to respondents. In both conditions, the respondents were asked to complete 2 separate writing tasks.

Participants, in the non-mutual support condition, were specifically told to write 2 separate letters to someone they had received help or support from in the past.

In the situation of the mutual support condition, respondents were specifically advised to write 2 separate letters to someone they had previously given assistance or support.

Afterward, in a space with a video camera and two confederate judges (1 male, 1 female), the speeches were given under evaluative circumstances. The post-challenge mood test (PANAS) was completed immediately afterward. As seen in figure 1 (Huang, W.J, 2005), all participants experienced some sort of the change in their negative mood. The AA group showed a greater increase in their negative mood when asked to write letters to someone they had received help or support from in the past. However, the EA group had a greater increase in the negative mood when asked to write letters to someone they had given help or support to in the past. Overall, the AA group had bigger rises in their negative mood in both mutual and non-mutual circumstances.

Figure 3 shows the coded ratings of anxious behavior during the speech assignment that were used as a measure of behavioral distress. Asian Americans scored marginally greater on observed anxious behaviors (M= 2.73, SD= 0.90) than European Americans (M= 2.38, SD= 0.98). Also, there was a significant correlation between behavioral distress and cortisol reactivity (Figure 2), p= 0.009, and a marginal correlation to negative mood shifts (Figure 1), p= 0.059. The findings also showed who the individual decided to write to, in the AA group 17% wrote to a parent, 78% wrote to a peer, and 5% wrote to a significant non-parental figure. Participants in the EA group wrote to a parent 52.5% of the time and wrote to a peer 47.5% of the time.

A limitation of this data is the various sub-groups of people in the Asian American group. This may mean that some people may have different beliefs and cultural/religious backgrounds. The small sample size of this investigation is also an issue as the results, as while some are significant, may not reflect the population. A possible future avenue of investigation is how mutual and non-mutual support expectations influence real support interactions for distinct cultural communities.

This research paper by Shu-wen Wang and Anna S. Lau showed how Asian Americans experienced higher levels of stress after seeking non-mutual support compared to European Americans who had higher stress levels after seeking mutual support. This may indicate that Asian Americans would rather seek support from somebody they have helped in the past rather than seek support from someone they have already had support from in the past. Overall, this research paper was able to show insight into some basic differences between cultures and provided reliable (statistically significant) evidence to support its claims.

Further research on the topic of interpersonal attraction in Asian couples was done by Wei-Jen Huang in 2005. His research paper titled, ‘An Asian Perspective on Relationship and Marriage Education’ explored trends in marriage in Asia. He based most of his claims on his prior experiences working with Asian populations but occasionally refers to data collected by other researchers. The author’s aim was to shed light on the developments in the Asian perspective on marriage. This source is relevant to the investigation as it details the recent development in marriage in Asia and trends relating to that. The data showed that across 6 of the 7 counties, the divorce rate increased from 1998 to 2002. The data was collected from various countries’ national departments of statistics which were gathered from nationwide polls. The anomaly in the data was Malaysia, their divorce rates increased from 7.00:1 to 8.34:1. The country with the highest divorce rates in 2002 was S.Korea (2.11:1) and the country with the lowest divorce rates was India (63.87:1). These differences may be due to different divorce laws in each county. Wei-Jen Huang gave several reasons for why there may have been an increase in divorces in Asia. The main factor in an increase in divorce rates in Asia, as outlined by Wei-Jen Huang, is the “loosening of social control over marriage”. In the past, Asia had a reputation for arranged marriages and social pressure when it came to marriage. Families and hierarchy also had a lot to do with why people in Asia married in the past, as traditional marriages were used to unite families, not to unite two individuals. So, the loosening of social influences in now allowing couples more freedom in their relationships and the ability to marry for love. To relate this back to table 1, the rising divorce rates in Asia (1998 M = 15.69:1, 2002 M = 12.87:1) may be due to many of the traditional ways of thinking about marriage being broken down.

The limitation of this research is that the researcher did not back up all his claims with data/evidence and mainly drew on his personal experiences to assert his claims. Also, some broad claims may be inaccurate as they don’t relate to specific populations (fallacy of composition). In the future, a research study could explore the validity of each claim made in this paper and how divorce rates are affected by familial obligations.

Thus, based on the claims made in the paper, it could be concluded that the rise in divorce rates in Asia is due to the increase in individuality and freedom when it comes to marriage. Nevertheless, the lack of evidence and research backing the claims made, makes the assertions made in the article less credible.

Finally, Jayamala Madathil and James M. Benshoff (2008) conducted a study on the “Importance of Marital Characteristics and Marital Satisfaction: A Comparison of Asian Indians in Arranged Marriages and Americans in Marriages of Choice”. Seeing as India consists of 32% of Asia’s population, they were the subject being investigated alongside the United States. Participants consisted of 229 Indians in arranged marriages living in the United States (AI-US), 185 Indians in arranged marriages living in India (AI-India), and 173 Americans in marriages of choice living in the United States (US-Choice). The purposive sampling technique was used, and the independent measures design was used for the survey. The characteristics of relationships scored were: Loving, Loyalty, Shared values, and Finance. The characteristics were graded into two separate categories, importance, and satisfaction.

Participants were first asked to rate the importance of each factor in their relationships and then their satisfaction with that factor. Respondents were given a 6-point Likert-type gauge, ranging from extremely unimportant to extremely important to rate each factor (Jayamala M & James B, 2008). There were no significant differences between genders for both the AI-India and AI-US communities, although in the US-Choice community there was a significant difference (p = .004) between genders.

AI-US respondents scored significantly greater for the Importance–Loving subcategory than those in both the AI-India and US-Choice sets. US-Choice scores for Importance – Shared Values were significantly smaller than those of the other two groups. For the sub-scale of Importance – Finance, the US-Choice group scored less than the other groups. For the Importance – loving sub-scale, the AI-US scored significantly higher than the other groups.

Compared to the AI-India (M = 110.9) and US-Choice groups (M = 105.5), satisfaction scores on all sub-scales were considerably greater for the AI-US group (M = 103.8). This seems to imply that the general satisfaction of AI-US (p = 0.015) respondents with their marriages were significantly greater.

There are several limitations to be regarded in this research. Firstly, only one measure of marriage satisfaction was considered when gathering these results. Secondly, the sample was restricted to Indian couples in arranged marriages and American couples in marriages of choice and did not include Indians in marriages of choice.

The results showed AI-US group had the highest levels of marital satisfaction among the three groups, implying that Indian couples in arranged marriages living in the United States are happier. The results also indicate that people in the AI-India (.2) group value financial stability the most and people in the AI-US (.3) group and the US-Choice (.1) group value loyalty the most.

Future studies may include investigating Indians in marriages of choice as a distinct group of respondents. Another area for future studies would be to examine more carefully the impact of family members on individuals when it comes to marriage.

Since most of the results found in this study were statistically significant (AI-US p

Conclusion:

The research from Shu-wen Wang and Anna S. Lau correlates with the claim that Wei-Jen Huang made on the fact that there has been a decrease in Asia in the role family plays in decision-making. The study done by Shu-wen Wang and Anna S. Lau also correlates with the research done by Jayamala Madathil and James M. Benshoff as they both found that their group from Asia felt that the culture of sharing was important. Shu-wen Wang and Anna S. Lau’s experiment found that the AA group felt better after asking for support from someone they had given support to in the past (mutual–sharing support) and Jayamala Madathil and James M. Benshoff found that shared value was the second most important value in both the AI-US and AI-India groups. However, the claim made by Wei-Jen Huang that there was an increase in people in Asia marrying for love and a decrease in arranged marriages contradicts the research done by Jayamala Madathil and James M. Benshoff. This is due to the fact that Jayamala Madathil and James M. Benshoff’s experiment focused on arranged marriages in Asia and found that loving was the third most important factor in the AI-US and AI-India groups.

The findings from all three research papers suggest there need to be further inquiries into the cultural difference in the value of relationships aspect. Nevertheless, the evidence from those studies suggests that there is a difference in how Asian cultures view interpersonal attraction within relationships.

Evaluation:

The pertinence of the method used, the thoroughness used in controlling the variables, and the parameters under which the data was intended to be applied will be discussed in order to determine the quality of the evidence. There will also be suggestions for improvements and extensions to the studies.

First of all, the methods used for collecting data from all 3 studies were fallible, as in most instances they relied on questionnaires (surveys) or data collected from other studies. Only Shu-wen Wang and Anna S. Lau were efficient in creating their methodology. An improvement to this is that the researchers could conduct their studies by using a manufactured setting and see how participants react or their decisions.

Second, researchers’ methodologies did not screen for possible confounding participant factors and as such did not regulate them. For example, any behavioral disorders, parents’ background, or past experiences in relationships. The only study that did this most effectively was conducted by Shu-wen Wang and Anna S. Lau. A suggested improvement would be to get participants to fill out a pre-test questionnaire to outline any factors that may affect the results. These results would help increase the test’s significance and reliability.

Finally, the results may be unable to be extrapolated to the entirety of Asia as they only studied significant areas within Asia. As such, the results from those communities couldn’t be generalized to the entirety of Asia. In the future, these studies could investigate Asian culture as a whole or focus in on a specific part of Asian culture. These results would be more significant and reliable when compared to a population.

The proof in this inquiry concludes that there is a difference in how Asia views the role of interpersonal attraction in couples and thus supports the claim that “Interpersonal relationships aren’t the same in every culture”. However, due to some of the limitations within the evidence, the data may not be able to be generalized to the entirety of a population.

References:

1. Huang, W.-J. (2005). An Asian Perspective on Relationship and Marriage Education. Family Process, 44(2), 161–173. doi:10.1111/j.1545-5300.2005.00051.x
2. Madathil, J., & Benshoff, J. M. (2008). Importance of Marital Characteristics and Marital Satisfaction: A Comparison of Asian Indians in Arranged Marriages and Americans in Marriages of Choice. The Family Journal, 16(3), 222–230. doi:10.1177/1066480708317504
3. Sternberg, R. and Sternberg, K. (2006). The new psychology of love. New York: Yale University, p.257.
4. Wang, S., & Lau, A. S. (2015). Mutual and Non-Mutual Social Support. Journal of Cross-Cultural Psychology, 46(7), 916–929.doi:10.1177/0022022115592967

In this essay, I argue that an anthropological perspective can show us that modern views about companionate marriage, often seen as the ideal for romantic love, can co-exist with differing perspectives about love and marriage. To show this, I initially focus on the narratives of women in arranged marriages in the Christian Philippines, then turn to the conflict between polygamy, romantic love, and cultural expectations for the Senegalese. Particular reference is given to two ethnographies about marriages, with Neveu-Kringelbach`s focusing on Senegal (Neveu-Kringelbach 2016) and Cannell`s on the Christian Philippines (Cannell 1999), as they emphasize the significance of the family in the creation of relationships, highlighting their role in both reinforcing traditional practices and driving new ideas about romantic love. I then move away from a focus on individual ethnographies, showing how theories about the globalization of romantic love erase many other relationship ideals. Ultimately, I argue that changing patterns of marriage and ideas about love, moving towards the romanization of relationships, do not have to show the complete rejection of other perspectives.

Cannell`s ethnography of marriage, power, and intimacy in the Christian Philippines, gives weight to my argument that ideas about romantic love can exist alongside more traditional cultural perspectives, particularly arranged marriages (Cannell 1999). Although in the Philippines arranged marriages were much more common in older generations, they still play a significant role in informing attitudes to love. Within Bicol, real love is commonly understood as having understood each other or having talked to each other (Cannell 1999: 32), but in arranged marriages, the young women involved are often spoken for, with the parents taking on this role. While this initially seems to present a conflict between romantic love and traditional marriage practices, the two can actually co-exist. If we reframe the idealistic view of true love and view marriage as more of a process in which love can be learned (Cannell 1999: 42), then it becomes clear that even if women do not speak for themselves, or even show reluctance, towards their marriage, this does not mean that romantic love will not form. For example, Cannell presents the narrative of Severina G, who was given away to be married in order to pay off the debt her father owed to the man who saved his life. Although she was initially reluctant and opposed the marriage, this changed over time, viewing the marriage as successful whilst talking to Cannell many years after her marriage (Cannell 1999: 29). Severina`s account is consistent with many other narratives of arranged marriages in Cannell`s ethnography, and provides two key insights into our understanding of love. Firstly, the emphasis on parental intervention in forming romantic relationships allows us to see their crucial role in keeping traditional approaches to love and marriage alive. Secondly, narratives like Severina`s are also helpful to see how romantic love and practices like arranged marriage can be interconnected, not exist in opposition. Therefore, even reductions in arranged marriages do not suggest either a rejection of parental involvement in marriage, favoring the independent formation of relationships, or a full immersion into modern ideas of romance and companionate marriage.

Neveu-Kringelbach`s ethnography of alternative marriage choices in Senegal is also useful for my argument that companionate relationships and traditional views on love are able to co-exist- in this case, polygamy is viewed as the traditional Senegalese practice. Neveu-Kringelbach shows how young women`s negative first-hand experience of polygamy, particularly witnessed between their parents throughout childhood, leads to them seeking out marriages outside of Senegal, often to non-Islamic, European men (Neveu-Kringelbach 2016). This experience was the case for Mariam, a Senegalese woman who married and moved to France with her European husband. As a young girl, she saw the effects of bringing a second wife into the home, believing this to be a major contributing factor in her mother`s death. Because of this negative experience of polygamy, she sought out an alternative marriage, believing that a non-Muslim and European husband would not engage in a tradition of polygamy (Neveu-Kringelbach 2016: 167). This search for companionate marriage, heavily influenced by the actions of parents and family, initially appears to present a crucial disjunction between attitudes towards love and marriage, however, in reality, the approaches are not irredeemably incompatible. Romantic love and emotional fulfillment as key aims of marriage are not new attitudes in Africa, becoming increasingly mainstream views by the mid-twentieth century (Thomas, Fair, and Mutongi 2009). Since these attitudes cannot be classed as new, and polygamy is still prevalent within Senegalese society, the rise in companionate marriages therefore cannot be viewed as a transitional period, expanding until polygamy and other traditional practices cease to exist (Neveu-Kringelbach 2016: 159). This view is well documented within Senegal, with the press publishing stories of celebrity polygamous relationships that a well-received by the public, and surveys show a gradual decline in polygamy, not a complete disappearance (Neveu-Kringelbach 2016: 159). Therefore, modern and traditional views about love are intertwined and are able to co-exist in society, rather than competing to become the only acceptable way to approach love.

Both of these ethnographies show the resilience of old marriage relationship practices in the face of new attitudes towards love, providing an emergence of intertwined romantic ideals. The roles of parents and family in facilitating this co-existence are highlighted by both anthropologists, although in contrasting ways. Whilst obedience towards the wishes of parents despite personal reluctance has often allowed the practice of arranged marriages to continue in the Philippines (Cannell 1999) negative experiences of polygamy witnessed through parental relationships have gradually reduced polygamous relationships in younger generations, despite not completely eradicating the tradition (Neveu-Kringelbach 2016). These ethnographies, therefore, provide further strength to my argument, showing how family relationships allow different ideas about love to emerge and continue alongside older traditions more engrained into historic marriage systems.

Wardlow and Hirsch, define companionate marriage as an ideal centered on emotional closeness, labeling the increase of view on the centrality of romantic love to marriage as a phenomenon of modern capitalism (Wardlow and Hirsch 2006: 4). While this can certainly be seen through the influence of global media, portraying love in this way through tabloids, music and film for example, therefore creating romantic ideals, particularly for young women, this view seems to overlook the resilience of more traditional approaches to love. In many cultures, romantic love plays a very limited role in the arrangement of marriages, with reasons such as family alliance, religious obligation, and economic necessity often taking priority. This was observed by Monaghan in his ethnographic study of Nuyoo, where the widower Fernando sought a wife in order to ensure his family`s well-being and fulfill the domestic needs of the household (Monaghan and Just 2000: 76). Neveu-Kringelbach also found this continuation of the traditional marriage practices, observing those that chose to remain in polygamous relationships and marry Senegalese men often did so for religious reasons and to maintain their morality in the eyes of their family and social peers (Neveu-Kringelbach 2016). Even those that chose to marry out often then placed greater emphasis on their moral and religious duties, financially supporting their families, converting their European husbands to Islam, and raising any subsequent children in accordance with religious ideals. (Neveu-Kringelbach 2016: 168) These anthropological examples further illustrate the simultaneous relationship between modernity and tradition in relation to perspectives on love, which I have shown to exist, despite theories about a widespread dominance of companionate marriage.

As I have shown, an anthropological perspective can help inform us about love by providing examples of a co-existing relationship between different views on love and marriage. This allows us to see the complexities of choosing relationships when there is more at stake than just finding a romantic partnership and fulfilling emotional closeness. The two ethnographies I have focused on, have provided insight into the survival of traditional approaches to marriage, showing how new ideas do not necessarily mean a complete replacement and rejection of past attitudes. Cannell`s ethnography does this with particular emphasis on arranged marriages and how family relationships have supported the continuation of this tradition in the Christian Philippines, despite the increasingly globalized narrative of romantic love (Cannell 1999). Neveu-Kringelbach`s ethnography similarly stresses the role of the family in decisions about love but shows how this has led to a decrease (but not total eradication) of polygamy in Senegal (Neveu-Kringelbach 2016). I have used these ethnographies as a lens through which I have been able to show how anthropology allows different perspectives and attitudes towards a love to be seen as compatible, rather than viewing romantic love as a universal truth- a view that is profoundly dangerous in erasing differing reasons why relationships are formed.

The meaning of marriage in Saudi Arabia marriage is an integrative and interdependent relationship that combines men and women, which is a primitiveness for the person. Marriage in Islam is through a legal contract, which is done under certain conditions and methods, on the basis of which it is agreed to establish a family and protect the rights of all its members.

Islam considered marriage the only and correct way to establish a home, family and childbearing, and to set standards and pillars for proper marriage with the purpose of creating a healthy society free of psychological problems and contract. For starting a true family life is to choose the good person to live with, that is not just going to impact you, but it impacts the society. Our marriage is done by parents and relative, so we do not have marriage by love.

If a man wanted to marry, he has to tell his mother that he wants to marry. Then, his mother will go to looking for a women suitability for her son. Because the traditions in my country that the women have to cover up their bodies and faces for strange men that they able to marry her, and that why mothers looking for a bride for their sons. What are the specifications that the man wants in his future wife and on the basis of which the mother chooses for her son the right wife? She has to has a religion, good personality, realize the meaning of married life, which is achieved by the arrival of the girl to a degree of maturity and awareness at all levels of life, especially the requirements of marital relationship, and compatibility between the couple intellectual and educational integration, and finally the beauty. The mother asks her relatives and friends for girls to marriage and for specific age. If she finds one, the mother is going to make appointment with girl’s family. In that day, she is meeting the girl in their house. If she does not like her, she is going to find other one but, if the mother likes the girl, now the mother tells them that she is going to see her son and let them know.

After that the mother going to describe the girl for him, if he says yes, then they are calling the family to ask the girl about him. The girl’s family going to ask about that guy who’s going to marry their daughter, if he is a good guy then they say yes to him. Then the families make a meeting for the guy to see the girl on girl’s house. Traditionally, it is referred as “shawfa”, meaning “the seeing”. The guy able to see her without covering up her body by our tradition dress and her hair. Also, they sit to know each other in this day. Also, on this day guy’s father consults with girl’s father about the dowry. The dowry is not only money, but jewelry, perfumery, incense, and some have special nests and cattle for the bedouin. And the value of the dowry can be reasonable and sometimes very expensive. It is at the request of girl’s father, and this guy cannot provide all this amount to marry and this is the reason for many spinsterhood and delay marriage to some young people. And not only to pay the dowry but also the costs of the wedding ceremony, engagement and honeymoon. This is a big problem in our current society. Saudi Arabia is known for its luxurious wedding parties. If you look at this in the past, we will see that it is different: in the value of the dowry and the parties and some customs and traditions. Such customs: Now the girl wants to know the man talking to him for a period of time before the marriage. But in the past, it did not exist, and they married without knowing or seeing each other. But also, some families have this belief even with the evolution of time and generation. For example, my father still has this belief and I was married in this belief 5 years ago.

Marriage contract

In the Arab world there must be a contract to prove this marriage and to achieve this contract. There must be conditions and these conditions are: a blood analysis to examine the genetic diseases and other diseases, second must be the age of the couple suitable for marriage in the sense that it must be 18 years or above, finally there must be 4 witnesses to witness this contract. Women can also arrange what she want in this contract, for example: an independent home or a continuation of study and so on. Also, she can put back of the value of money, if he wants to divorce pays her this amount required.

In Saudi Arabia, the wedding ceremony is a fairy tale altogether because it involves two different but concurrent ceremonies. The men and women do not party together. The actual wedding ceremony may go on for two days. The first day is a farewell single party. The bride on this day wears the sari and the gusts singing and celebrating. The ceremony day begins at night. The women reserve their own hell separately from the men. The bride in the wedding day has to wear a white dress, and because the women have their own hell, they can wear anything they want. The groom wears traditional Saudi dress, “white robe, white headdress with iqal or something to keep the headdress on, and finally a bisht, which is a long cover.”

Traditionally, the main wedding ceremony is regarded as a woman thing, but the men tend to have a party where they have dinner together and sometimes dance traditionally. One of the most common traditional dances is known as the sword dance where men dance holding swords. At 12 on the night, the groom goes to women hell to his bride, before he enters, his mother tells the gusts to cover themselves up. Then, he enters to take photo shoots with his bride and cut the wedding cake. Mostly, the ceremony end at two on the morning.

When we come to compare marriage in Saudi Arabia and marriage in America it is quite different. America is a city of freedom and has its own customs and traditions. The Saudi people now want to change customs to Western habits, making them more free. This could be good for the progress of civilizations.

Oppressions in Ginu Kamani`s ‘The Smell’

“The Smell” is a short story that gives the readers the point of view of a young Indian girl, known as Rani, who lives in a household that practices vegetarianism and witnesses a tradition of an arranged marriage that occurs in her family. Ginu Kamani, the author, wrote the story based on her experience living in both Bombay and the States which allow her to explore the differences in cultures and traditions between the two places. This essay will address how different oppressions are being portrayed in “The Smell”.

The first oppression which is shown in the story is the inequality between the characters or more precisely, the grandmother, known in the story as B.A., and the cook. In India, they have a system known as the Caste system which “divides Hindus into rigid hierarchical groups based on their karma (work) and dharma (the Hindi word for religion)” (BBC, 2019). The caste has control over the religious as well as the social views of Hindus in which the people who are in the upper-caste group, known as the Brahmins, are seen to have more authority over the lower-caste people, known as the Dalits (or the outcastes). With this knowledge, we can identify the rank and social status of the family which can be seen through B.A.’s attitude towards the cook and the servants as well. Rani’s whole family can be considered as the upper-caste group (the Brahmins) while the cook is in the lower-caste group (the Dalits).

In paragraph 40, the children were not allowed to “be alone with servants” without any adult supervision of a family member as B.A. does not trust the servants to be with the children. Furthermore, there is a use of simile, ‘like’, in the line “You’ll turn them into useless beggars like yourself!” (paragraph 42) which made a comparison between the cook and those who do not have a job. B.A. is saying that the cook is no different than beggars. The line also seems to imply that the cook acts as an infection towards the children and they might get affected if they were to be in the same vicinity as him. Also, the way B.A. said these lines “Have you no shame? These are children from a good family” (paragraph 42) indicates that the cook came from a bad family which may have resulted in him suffering at that time with his current position and the tone B.A. used in these lines were very much trying to offend and provoke the cook.

The second oppression appearing in “The Smell” is based on the family’s belief in vegetarianism as the idea can be seen being repeatedly mentioned throughout the whole story. Although it is not specified which beliefs the family follows, the lines in paragraph 65 which say “meat is not good for women” and “pollute your unborn son” actually give the readers an idea of what belief the family lives by which is Hinduism. The consumption of animals, in the beliefs of Hinduism, may harm a person either by “causing unnecessary pain and death produces bad karma (ill-effects on oneself as a consequence of ill-treatment of others)” (Lam, Tobiassen, Nayar and Agarwal, n.d.). B.A. holds a strong belief in vegetarianism as she was taught about it at a younger age. The belief is then passed on from generation to generation and it has especially affected the females in the family to keep them “clean”. For example, B.A’s “strict training” (paragraph 57) has changed Sonia’s sense of smell to become more sensitive around strangers which may result in her vomiting if there is a hint of a meat scent around her.

As vegetarianism is strongly practiced in the household, it was quite a challenge for both Rani and her brother to consume non-vegetarian foods. To eat some, they would have to hide in their servant’s room. In paragraph 37, Rani said “It’s going to be just another morning, and B.A. won’t sniff out the eggs today” this would suggest the idea that it has become a daily routine for them to have their non-vegetarian breakfast without their grandmother’s acknowledgment. Moreover, the difficulty of eating meat freely in the household does not only apply to both Rani and her brother but the difficulty was shared with the servants too. In paragraph 48, although the cook did not eat any kind of meat and cooked for the siblings, the grandmother has a sensitive smell which results in her being able to smell meat around him. Her line in the paragraph “This is how we live in Bombay, suffering the sins of our servants” would indicate how lower-caste people were giving problems and troubles to the upper-caste people. This could also mean that for every sin committed by the lower caste; any punishment that they receive would also affect the people in the upper caste even though they did nothing wrong.

The final oppression which can be seen in the story is within the family. Family relationships are valuable to Indians and most of the connections amongst the members tend to be very close-knit. “In Hinduism, the family is more important than the individual and the individual is nothing unless he or she is part of a family” (Hays, 2008). In the story of “The Smell”, even though there is a lack of evidence and statements showing the closeness of the family members towards each other, there is one apparent clue that may help the readers to know how close the family is and that is through the tradition of an arranged marriage. Arranged marriages are common in India and this tradition is usually affected by caste considerations such as the person’s social status or religion which limits the choices for those who are about to get married either marriage of the same caste rank or marriage of the same religion.

In the case of “The Smell”, the arranged marriage of Sonia, a cousin of Rani’s, is based on their religion. Rani is opposed to the idea of marriage and it can be seen from how she reacts to Sonia’s marriage from paragraph 58 to paragraph 63. When she heard the news about Sonia turning down marriage to a “sinful, polluted, meat-eating man” in paragraph 58, Rani’s tone gives an expression that she was ecstatic. The reason being was not because of the belief they held strongly about eating meat but this will marked as a break of their family tradition. However, Rani’s celebration of Sonia’s freedom from marriage did not last long as Sonia’s future husband was being replaced by someone who was said to be “hundred-percent-vegetarian” (paragraph 61) and she did end up getting married. Upon hearing this, paragraph 63 illustrated Rani’s feeling of betrayal from her cousin, and her tone in one of the lines of the same paragraph “I blamed B.A. for making Sonia a robot” expresses her anger towards her grandmother.

Another piece of evidence that shows that the tradition of arranged marriage was impossible to be avoided in the family was in paragraph 22. In response to Nila’s statement regarding Rani and her family consuming meat, Rani said to her that “girls who don’t eat meat always get married”. The word ‘always’ was italicized in the sentence which tells the readers that she emphasized the word. This meant Nila, who practiced vegetarianism, could not avoid marriage no matter what circumstances as she was still “clean” whereas Rani, who consumed meat, would not have a chance to be married off to someone as she was believed to be “unclean” due to her consumption of meat. With this being in mind, it seems that no one in the family was free from the tradition of arranged marriage unless they were meat-eaters.

In conclusion, the characters in the short story “The Smell” faced oppression in different ways. The first oppression is the social status of the characters in the story which is based on the Caste-system in India. Next is the oppression relating to their religious beliefs which is the practice of vegetarianism and it is highly encouraged for the female family members in the household as this would mean they are “clean”. And the final oppression appearing in the story is within the family in which they must follow the traditions that were made for the family.

Marriage is a social custom in which a man and a woman form a new family together. In today’s world, there are two types of unions. Arranged marriage and love marriage are two types of unions. While this is true, arranged marriages have been widely practiced since the dawn of civilization, love marriage is becoming increasingly common today. However, because of mutual understanding, deep knowledge of the individual, and existing independenc, I would argue that a love marriage is superior to an arranged marriage.

Firstly, love marriage is better than arranged marriage for strong mutual understanding. A love marriage involves two people who have known each other for a long time. They are now conscious of their decisions, actions, and way of life, which improves their comprehension. Furthermore, in the event of a crisis, they would help and encourage one another. Furthermore, they are free to share their thoughts and make their own decisions. As a result, they are already acquainted with one another, making it easy to start a new life. In addition, their lives become more peaceful and happy. Marriage, on the other hand, is extremely difficult to arrange. The peers do not have a comprehensive understanding of one another. They are also hesitant to share their opinions.

Secondly, one can know the partner deeply in love marriage. In an arranged marriage, the family evaluates the person based on their family history, education, and social standing. It is, however, difficult to determine their conditions. It is, however, probable in a love marriage. They will note the person’s bad habits, such as smoking, drug use, and a cheap attitude, while they are in a relationship. Furthermore, they become acquainted with the person’s close friends from whom they learn about their character. If the individual is in error, they should correct it as soon as possible. However, it is extremely difficult in an arranged marriage.

Lastly one can establish their freedom by love marriage. Women in Bangladesh are oppressed by society. Since society believes that women are poor and incapable of bearing children, women are married to proven parsons at a young age. It is unquestionably a bias. In an arranged marriage, the girls’ families pressurize them to marry a person they dislike for financial reasons. Love marriage, on the other hand, may help to alleviate social strain and discrimination. Girls and boys will develop themselves at the same time in love marriage.

However, opposing views claim that Arranged marriage has several benefits. Arranged marriage is socially acceptable, and there is no need to persuade the family. Furthermore, in an arranged marriage, the family takes on all of the obligations. In this union, both parents are directly involved. As a result, neither the son nor the daughter needs to be concerned. Even if there is a crisis, the family bears responsibility.

There are benefits and drawbacks of both love marriage and arranged marriage. In a love marriage, the partners understand each other. Aside from that, they have a thorough understanding of the person. Furthermore, love marriage has an emotional impact on the ancients. On the opposite, in arranged marriages, the parents are more interested than in love marriages. However, it lacks the possibility of a love marriage. In conclusion, it can be argued that love marriage is preferable to arranged marriage because of proper understanding, the ability to choose the right person, and the ability to make one’s own decisions.