Category: About Myself

When I want to forget about worries, stress, and time, I draw.

Drawing is one of the most relaxing activities I partake in. It has always had a special place in my life. Something about picking up a pencil and being able to put whatever is in my mind on paper is fascinating to me. With every line drawn and erased, every curve reshaped and adjusted, I become more engrossed in the act of drawing. Drawing is something that has never caused me stress, it has always been relaxing, I’m not entirely sure why.

I’ve noticed throughout the years that art takes time. One cannot rush a perfect painting or a detailed drawing. The artist must put every painstaking minute into the minute details so that it will satisfy the viewer and the artist himself or herself. This attention to detail is the biggest reason why I can spend hours drawing and have it only feel like a few minutes. Getting lost in my art helps me forget about worldly problems and issues I may have to deal with. Art is my escape, it is what brings me joy when I’m feeling down. I feel joy and a sense of accomplishment when I see my completed artwork. These feelings of pride and contentment help me wish to come back and draw something new and wonderful the next day.

Most importantly, art can never end. As long as I have use of my hands, my art can continue. Art is not something that I can run out of, unlike food or money; objects of the world. The reason my art cannot run out is that it is in my head. Whatever is in my imagination can stay there, or be placed on paper if I choose. In this way, I can keep my drawings for years and years without even physically seeing them. When the time comes, I can draw these objects in my head and share them with others. This sense that there is no finality to my art is what gives me comfort in my art and drives me to continue working and drawing whenever possible.

I lose myself in my art. All the sketches and drawings represent the hours I’ve spent escaping. To escape from worry, stress, from pressure. I continue to draw because of how relaxing it is. A beautiful drawing may take hours upon hours, but the time and effort are worth it. I won’t lose my art, even in my old age. I won’t be able to share my art as well as I can now, but my art will still be with me in my imagination. That is a very comforting thought, and I consider myself extremely lucky to have the ability to draw.

Is Christmas really the happiest time of year?

Christmas. Every year we count down the days with chocolate behind tiny doors, watch the same old Christmas movies as the year before – to the point where I think I could recite Nativity word for word – and eat so much food that, in hindsight, it becomes sheer gluttony. Every year we lie awake dreaming of the gifts that will be under the beloved tree on the big morning waiting for us making all our problems disappear in a heartbeat. And every year without a doubt I hear the words Christmas is the happiest time of year by that old crooner, it`s the most wonderful time of the year reverberating on a loop in shops and supermarkets, inescapable in its joyous sentiment, demanding we enjoy ourselves. And while Paul McCartney is simply having a wonderful Christmas Time and Wizzard wishes it could be Christmas every day I suppress an urge to scream.

As a child Christmas was indeed the highlight of my year. Who could forget it? The most magical time of year when things were so easy, days on end spent looking forward to Santa`s visit, and the only real worry was convincing myself that I had been good all year. But as I got older, I began to realize that Christmas is relentless for some, especially those dealing with the loss of a loved one during the festive period. There`s no hiding from it. Decorations start going up in November, so every year I have to suffer a two-month-long countdown to the anniversary of my papa`s death making winter feel like a month of Sundays.

For me, Christmas began to lose its magical feeling on the day that my papa died: Christmas Day 2015. The man who I thought would be there to see me pass my driving test, watch me get married, and meet his grandchildren, was taken from my life in what felt like a flash. I still remember the night like it was yesterday. Leaving my gran and papa`s house while they stood at the door as we exchanged our goodbyes completely unaware that this would be the last time I ever got to hear his laugh, the last time I ever got to see his smile, and the last time I ever got to hug him.

I remember watching from my car window as an ambulance, pale under the streetlamps, blue lights blazing in time with the jagged noise of the screeching siren that shattered the silence of the thick blanket of snow flew past with aggressive speed, yet thinking nothing of it because there was no way it could be heading towards my gran and papa`s house, right? I remember the phone call, the loud obnoxious ring that tore through the air sucking the happiness out of Christmas like a black hole. I felt my stomach plummeting down a roller coaster when my mum turned round, too hesitant to be normal. When she spoke her voice trailed slowly like her words were unwilling to take flight. There was a deep sadness in her eyes as she muttered the words that made my whole world come shattering down in a matter of seconds.

I`ve never been particularly good at hiding my emotions, but at that moment, I wanted to stay strong for my mum, for my dad, for everyone but once that first tear broke free the rest followed in an unbroken stream. One of the worst things about losing someone is that no matter how much you try to remember, the memories start to fade. Every year at Christmas my stomach ties in knots as I find myself asking Did I say I love you? Did I hug him tight enough? Did I make sure that he knew how much he meant to me?

The worst thing about my papa dying on the happiest day of the year is that I almost resent him for it. The past few years whenever I find myself starting to enjoy it, an instant wave of guilt hits me like a truck making me feel a pit in my stomach every time I catch myself laughing or smiling. Don`t get me wrong, there`s no good time to lose a family member, I completely understand that and I certainly don`t think I`m entitled to grieve any more than anyone else who has suffered the loss of a family member just because I papa died on Christmas Day – but it does obscure your emotions when you lose someone on a such significant date because it alters your whole perception of what it stands for and leaves you questioning is it really the happiest time of year?

The thing about grief is that it varies from day to day. It`s like snow. Some days it only snows a little bit. You might end up being late for school. Your friends and teachers notice but it’s not a big deal. On other days the snow might be deeper. You spend hours helping to shovel the snow but it doesn`t seem to clear. You miss school and your body aches so badly that you go back to sleep. You wake up to a mountain of missed calls and texts from people wondering where you are, but you don`t call them back because you are still too tired. Most of them don`t experience the same amount of snow where they live so they don`t understand. They just assume you’re too lazy. Sometimes it`s a fully-fledged snowstorm. When you open your door your met with a wall of snow. The electricity flickers on and off so you go to bed with all of your clothes on to try and keep in the warmth. You haven`t washed for days now, but how could you? It`s too cold to get out of bed and do anything apart from sleep. The thing is when it snows all the time it drains you. You get fed up with being cold every day. You get fed up with hurting all the time from shoveling, but if you don`t shovel on light days it ends up becoming something much bigger and unmanageable. Grief is the exact same.

So, as it stands, now that a few years have passed I`m beginning to believe that Christmas could in fact be the Happiest time of year. I`m proud to say that the snow has started to clear up and even though on some days it still might snow, it`s only a few inches, which, yes, still affects me but more importantly I have learned to manage it now. Christmas day will forever be tainted by my papa`s death, and it will never go back to how it used to be because you can`t schedule grief. Some Christmases will be filled with joy while others will feel like the hardest thing I`ve ever had to endure but what I`ve learned is acceptance. To accept that there`s nothing I can do to change what happened, to accept that spending Christmas with my family will hurt at times, and, most importantly, to accept that despite what happened I am still extremely lucky to have a family to celebrate with and who will help me through the tough times.

Introduction

Football has been my favorite sport ever since I can remember. From the moment I watched my first game, I was captivated by the intensity, teamwork, and exhilaration that the sport offers. In this essay, I will share my personal journey and experiences as a football enthusiast, highlighting the reasons why football holds a special place in my heart.

Early Encounters

As a child, I vividly recall watching football matches with my family. The atmosphere in our living room would transform as we cheered for our favorite teams, engrossed in the exhilarating plays and nail-biting moments. These early encounters with football ignited a spark within me, and I soon found myself yearning to be a part of the action on the field.

Joining a Football Team

At the age of nine, I joined a local youth football team. Stepping onto the field for the first time, I was filled with a mix of nervousness and excitement. Little did I know that this decision would shape my life in countless ways. From the camaraderie with my teammates to the guidance and mentorship of our coaches, every aspect of being part of a football team enhanced my love for the sport.

The Thrill of Competition

One of the aspects I love most about football is the thrill of competition. Each match presents a new opportunity to test our skills, strategy, and teamwork against formidable opponents. The adrenaline rush that surges through my veins as I chase the ball, the cheers of the crowd, and the unity forged among teammates are unparalleled experiences that keep me coming back for more.

Lessons in Resilience and Perseverance

Football has taught me invaluable life lessons, particularly in resilience and perseverance. The sport demands mental and physical strength, as well as the ability to bounce back from setbacks. I’ve learned that success doesn’t always come easily, but through determination and hard work, I can overcome obstacles and push my limits both on and off the field.

Teamwork and Collaboration

Football is the epitome of teamwork and collaboration. The sport requires players to synchronize their movements, communicate effectively, and trust one another. As a result, I’ve developed strong bonds with my teammates, learning to rely on each other’s strengths and support one another through victories and defeats. The camaraderie we share extends beyond the field, making lifelong friendships that go beyond the game itself.

The Sense of Community

Football has a unique way of bringing people together. Whether it’s attending live matches or engaging in discussions with fellow fans, I’ve experienced a deep sense of belonging within the football community. The shared passion and enthusiasm for the sport transcend age, gender, and cultural differences, uniting individuals from diverse backgrounds under one common love for the game.

Conclusion

In conclusion, football holds a special place in my heart due to the thrilling experiences, lessons, and sense of community it provides. From the early moments of watching the sport with my family to the unforgettable moments on the field, football has become an integral part of my life. It has taught me the value of teamwork, resilience, and perseverance while fostering lifelong friendships. Through football, I have discovered not only a sport but a passion that continues to ignite my spirit and bring joy to my life.

As children, we all get asked the universal question, what do you want to be when you grow up? At 6 years old I would say without any hesitation and no restraint an Artist. Since I, carefree as they come, inevitably recognize the beauty of using my hands to produce something new. However, Growing into adulthood, I saw my previous views on life were in fact not what people expected.

Living in an imperfect world makes creative minds shunned and lower their economic status in society. I subconsciously molded myself to seclude from my individualistic values and subsequently rejected all the items I had praised proudly months before. Leading to the conclusion of what I would have to see myself as now. With my fragile, thin ego, I recruited to say what people will awe in my answer. At 13 years old, I would get asked, what do you want to be when you grow up? With hesitation and constraint, I’ll respond, doctor. This is what was to come out of me if wanted to be respected. Since I didn’t want to go against the current, I swam in the general direction.

Now, At 17 years old when asked the same question, what do you want to be when you grow up? Silence is all that followed. At this moment my answer undoubtedly included weight. Naturally, I would say I’m undecided. However, in reality, I recognize the two choices I have. For one, I can align myself to what I must desire or say what everyone else expects of me. If were to choose the second answer I would be economically better off and people will visualize tremendous things about me. Yet the problems will not be transparent since only I could recognize the problem that will torture me. Thus, on this spot I am. It’s not just about career-wise, but the answer to what personality traits do I want to show. Do I express myself artistically or do I accommodate the average ways of living? Either one or the other can distress me. As I dwell on this, I suffer from reality and I distance myself from what is the Purpose. But again, I ask myself the same battle question, but now I say: Are you content? With a naive question, I realize that I can never truly be content with either decision since no choice is 100% perfect. I have explored myself and lived through life I came to the realization that in order to live on this path we consider life; I mustn’t live for others but for myself. I am my own person and when the sun dims down it is I who sleeps with my decision. Therefore, after years of internalization and suffering, I have to be true to myself. Ending in me valuing my thoughts. And when I get asked, what do you want to be when you grow up? With no hesitation and restraint and a carefree mind, I say, an Artist.

No, I am not a snob. I am an introvert, a father successful in a career that provides me the means to support my family comfortably a human with all my frailty and folly. Ah, humans the greatest creature that ever lived? No, I am not thinking about myself as a person, I am trying to address the question of what I am thankful for as a human. What did we do or achieve in our history that should make me feel thankful?

I looked up for inspiration. One obvious one jumped up top: ‘the single greatest achievement of mankind is very likely the increase in life expectancy which has occurred in the twentieth century.’ So says the National Institutes of Health (NIH). On the surface, this is a strong one we as humans, helped people live longer. Who doesn’t want more time on dear Earth? But at what cost did we extend life? At the expense of other humans? Animals? The environment? Would you say we, as a community, did a responsible job of prolonging human lives?

In our quest for breakthroughs in science, technology, drugs, and surgery-did we have a sustainable approach? If I accept the increase in life expectancy as a reason to be thankful, I must ask the deeper question: is the cost worth it? I don’t mean money (although, some claim money itself is the greatest invention of all!), but the global cost of increasing the life expectancy of the entire humankind by one year collectively, what would that be? Did we, in the process, accelerate the planet’s doom? Would you accept the cost of living one year longer, if you knew now, what would that cost our world? Surely, I will want to live a year longer, if you ask me today one hundred percent but, if I could float in the river of time, and go upstream to check what it’s like in the future, would I then like it? Will I rather live a year shorter, given the cost of it? I don’t know, since we can’t travel time yet. But, somehow, I have a feeling, the overall extension of life expectancy came with a hefty price.

How about traveling to the moon? Celebrated globally as a pinnacle of human achievement, the moon landing is lauded as ‘far and away the most extraordinary achievement of all time.’ Yes, landing on a celestial body, far away from mother earth is phenomenal. An unbelievable feat (people still don’t believe it!), an amazing adventure. But, let’s take a step back, and ask ourselves, what did that give us? What if we didn’t travel to the moon, how would that change our present?

A generation of scientists, astronomers, and physicists had their spark of inspiration from the moon landing. Space exploration got a huge boost, we built an international space station and sent robots to Mars. And, we got earth-made billionaires debuting their recreational space travel business frontier! Something tells me, if the moon landing didn’t happen, our space exploration would not have stopped. If Neil Armstrong didn’t take that giant leap of mankind, another Armstrong of the future would have. Science would have marched on. We would still be searching for biological lives in outer space, like we are doing today, without much success.

Creating electronic devices comes frequently as another human achievement that rivals the moon landing. By extension, this would mean radio, telephone, smartphone, and the internet. I can relate most with this I will confess. Sometimes, I think of the cost of the internet and electronic devices versus the benefit they’ve given. I am biased but the opportunity of engagement that the internet has given us, for me, outweighs the cost.

Then, there is the creation of art music, writing, painting, and performing skills I do strongly believe that without these facets, we are not recognizable as humans. Yes, there are other marvels mastering flight, the theory of evolution, the creation of wheels, the theory of relativity, and the quantum mechanics that I am thankful for.

But for me, the greatest thing that humanity has ever achieved is to be able to think inclusively. We have moved from the point when one perspective had to be absolutely the religion of the bygone days would dictate only one point of view to be true. Thankfully, that disillusion is largely behind us, when one religion, one true god, and one race are the ultimate. Yes, the remnants of those thoughts and their followers still live but it gives me much pleasure seeing how their numbers are dwindling. And, please, I am not the archetype of science vs. religion. By all means, follow your heart and your religion with an open mind.

You don’t have to deny gravity or declare the earth is flat or ask for the heads of atheists on a platter. Join a discussion on any topic, knowing there could be multiple angles to view and solve a question you actually might never reach an answer to, but the process will be illuminating.

Think inclusive there, I have found what I am thankful for!

“What’s it like being a twin?”, “Are you guys best friends?”, “Do you guys look alike?”. These are just a few of the questions I am asked when I tell people I have a twin brother. I usually don’t mind getting asked so many questions, and I sometimes even like all of the attention. But I usually don’t really know how to answer these questions because I have never experienced anything other than being a twin.

Many stereotypes have been made about twins that people automatically apply to my brother and me. People always think we must look alike, have twin telepathy, and be best friends. None of these apply to us. But out of all the assumptions that are made, there are some positive qualities of being a twin.

In some cases, I love being a twin. For example, when I went to the first day of freshman orientation, I really appreciated being a twin. I was so nervous and tossed and turned all night, I could barely sleep. I woke up and even tried to act sick. I told my mom “I had a sore throat”, which usually works most of the time. But this time it didn’t. Luckily, I didn’t have to walk in alone and had someone to talk to since I only knew a few people. I felt less anxious since my brother and I were able to walk in together and I could always rely on him to make a situation better.

In other cases, I have disliked being a twin. He has been someone I always compare myself to because we have been through everything together. Everyone I meet always compares us and asks questions like “Who’s smarter?” or “Who’s more athletic?”. When people ask these questions, they are automatically comparing me and my brother to each other. I was never looked at as an individual, but more as the ‘other half’. Since I am always compared to my brother, it has made me really competitive with him. I have always wanted to be the better twin and have always felt the need to one-up everything he did.

The biggest competition between my brother and me when we were younger was asking our mom “Who’s your favorite?”. The need for the most parental affection was something that we both wanted. I have always wanted all of the attention, but so has my brother. I always wanted to be better than him and made everything a competition. I would always strive to get better grades and be more athletic. I stopped trying to compare myself to him in middle school when I finally realized that we were two completely different people and shouldn’t be compared to each other. We were made up of our own qualities and we shouldn’t be judged based on how we were born on the same day making us twins.

The most bizarre thing I am asked on a daily basis is “Do you guys have twin telepathy?”. I have never once felt a telepathic connection with my brother nor do I ever think I will. I believe this is a myth because I’ve never felt connected mindedly to my brother. We don’t share a brain, so why would we share the same thoughts?

All of the emotions, events, and stories that I have experienced have shaped me into who I am today. One of my biggest qualities is being independent. I learned to be independent because of the lesson I learned from being consistently compared to my sibling. Being a twin, you would think that I would rely on my brother and never leave his side. In my case, it’s the opposite. Ever since we entered high school and have only had one class together, I have developed into someone who doesn’t need to be dependent on my brother. Although I still love him, I never look to him anymore, instead, I have learned to make separate friends. I have learned to be an independent individual who does not feel defined as just being a twin.

Art is my long-time passion; I can express my feelings, thoughts, or what I want to say through my art. I might not be expressive with words or actions, but I can explain it best through art.

My mother influenced me to draw because when I was a kid I always saw her drafting blueprints because she’s an architect and she always drew the things that were requested. When I was in 7th grade, I was transferred to another school and my classmates seemed to hate my art, so I stopped drawing and focused on other things. Then in 8th grade I was transferred back to my old school, I made new friends, and after they found out that I was good at drawing, they persuaded me to draw again and they supported my passion. It made me happy.

I’m mostly good at drawing anime characters or doodles, but I’m bad at making portrait drawings because I thought that it was hard. But then it all changed when I had a crush on a girl and I knew that she felt the same way too, so I wanted to give her something. I thought of giving her a drawn portrait of her. I was determined to give her, so I practiced making portrait drawings daily, and when I thought I was already good at it, I started drawing her portrait. When I was finished, I showed it to my friend but he could not recognize who it was, I felt sad, but I was still determined to practice. When I thought that I already perfected the portrait, I gave it to her, and she was so happy seeing it. I told her what I felt about her, but I was sad when I knew that I couldn’t date her, so we settled as friends.

In 10th grade, I practiced digital art because I was so amused by what my cousin made digitally. Digital art is not that hard because it has already all the mediums that you need to make your desired art, and the software that supports digital art autocorrects the mistakes that you make. When I finished junior high school, I transferred to Agusan National High School. I was so happy when I found out that there was a visual arts club, so I did not hesitate to join. The members were friendly and didn’t hesitate to help, and the professional members of our club always inspired us to do better. One day we had a meeting. It was about an upcoming contest for the Adlaw Hong Butuan. Me and my four classmates did not hesitate to join the contest. Even though we didn’t know how to paint, our club president told us that it was okay and that we could gain experience. So we practiced hard and when the contest approached I was nervous because it was the first time that I would use paint as my medium. In the contest, we had to paint a mural about Butuan City ascending. We finished the mural, but it’s not as good as the other contestants, but at least were happy painting it, and we joined it for experience, not the prize.

Art is definitely my passion. Art always makes me happy and I’ll never get tired of doing it.

Introduction

Finding an ideal partner is a desire that resides deep within the hearts of many individuals. We all have our own unique preferences and qualities that we seek in a partner. In this essay, I will share my vision of an ideal partner, describing the qualities and characteristics that I value the most.

Shared Values and Goals

For me, an ideal partner is someone who shares similar values and goals. We should have a mutual understanding and alignment in our core beliefs, principles, and ambitions. This compatibility forms the foundation of a strong and fulfilling relationship, as it allows us to support and uplift each other in pursuing our dreams.

Trust and Communication

Trust and open communication are essential aspects of any successful relationship. An ideal partner is someone with whom I can be completely honest and vulnerable, knowing that they will reciprocate with the same level of trust and openness. Effective communication ensures that we can express our thoughts, emotions, and concerns, fostering a deep connection and understanding between us.

Emotional Intelligence and Empathy

Emotional intelligence and empathy are qualities that I highly value in an ideal partner. It is crucial to be with someone who can empathize with my emotions and understand my perspective. Their ability to listen attentively, offer support, and provide comfort during challenging times creates an environment of emotional safety and security.

Respect and Equality

Respect and equality are fundamental aspects of a healthy and fulfilling partnership. An ideal partner recognizes the importance of mutual respect, treating each other as equals and valuing each other’s opinions, desires, and boundaries. They appreciate the uniqueness of our individual identities and strive for a balanced and harmonious relationship built on respect and fairness.

Shared Interests and Compatibility

While individual interests and hobbies are important, shared interests can enhance the bond between partners. An ideal partner is someone with whom I can enjoy various activities and experiences, fostering a sense of joy, adventure, and growth together. The ability to engage in shared interests and create lasting memories strengthens our connection and brings us closer.

Support and Encouragement

An ideal partner is my biggest cheerleader and source of support. They inspire and motivate me to pursue my passions and goals, providing unwavering encouragement along the way. Their belief in my abilities and their willingness to stand by my side through both triumphs and challenges fuels my self-confidence and pushes me to become the best version of myself.

Conclusion

In conclusion, my ideal partner encompasses a range of qualities and characteristics that are essential for a strong and fulfilling relationship. From shared values and goals to trust, communication, and emotional intelligence, each aspect contributes to the deep connection and understanding between us. Respect, equality, shared interests, and unwavering support further enhance the bond we share. While finding an ideal partner may seem like a daunting task, understanding my own desires and being open to the journey allows me to envision the type of relationship that brings joy, growth, and love into my life.

After completing the Wellness Inventory and going over my results for each of the seven dimensions of wellness, I was a mix of surprised and shocked. Some results I received were what I was anticipating, others not so much. As a first-year university student and a teenager, sometimes it’s difficult to keep your overall wellness in check. This semester I would like to focus on maintaining my good spiritual and emotional wellness, as well as focus more on my physical and environmental wellness.

My highest domain scores were emotional wellness, 19, and spiritual wellness, 17. I believe these two domains have a huge influence on each other, so I wasn’t shocked by the results. I’ve always considered myself to be a very sensible, self-aware person, and this is why many people feel comfortable forming relationships with me. I am nowhere near perfect, so being able to recognize my shortcomings and learning from them is a very important value to me.

Throughout the past year, I’ve made some incredible changes in my life which I believe has had a huge impact on my spiritual wellness. I met new people who opened my eyes to new beliefs and values. I didn’t grow up in a religious home nor do I come from a religious background, so when I was introduced to Bible verses and their meanings, it got me thinking about how I value others’ beliefs and values. I also took a World Cultures course this past year in high school which opened me up to the idea of different cultural ideologies and practices.

Another aspect of my spiritual and emotional wellness was brought by my friend from back home. She got me hooked on the law of attraction, which is the ability to attract into our lives whatever we are focusing on and turn it into reality. This gave me reassurance that natural forces do occur in the universe and all thoughts turn into reality eventually. I believe this is why I can laugh at myself and face challenges with an open mindset.

My lowest domain scores were physical wellness, 11, and environmental wellness, 12. Both of these scores shocked me because I consider myself to be a somewhat active individual and a believer in maintaining a healthy environment.

Physical wellness is an area I learned I struggle with a lot. Two years ago I was severely overweight and I was not pleased or comfortable with my body. This took a toll on my mental health and emotional wellness. I did not feel good about myself and struggled to participate in activities that made me happy. It got to a point where it was so bad that I went to seek help because my mental health was not where it needed to be. I’m super excited to learn more about mental health and apply it to some background knowledge I already have to help not only myself but others as well. I don’t exercise continuously for 20 to 30 minutes at least three times a week, but I’m going to get there. I purchased a gym membership for the athletic center and I’m making it a personal goal to go there at least two times a week just to maintain a healthy body. Last summer, I went on morning walks with my cousin at camp and I found it helped me get through the day. I find being out in nature helps me relieve stress because of the peaceful environment. This semester I would like to make it a goal to go on walks around campus because I find it helps with my overall physical, emotional, and mental health.

One topic I’m eager to learn more about in this course is nutrition. Being active is only one part of the solution to losing weight, but making healthy choices is the other. As a university student living in residence, it’s very hard to get the appropriate serving size and proper nutrients needed each day. This semester I’m taking a nutrition course and I’ve already learned so much. As a university student, making adjustments to eating habits can be tricky. A goal I have for myself is to make healthier choices. Whether this means substituting fries for salad or eating smaller portions, I’m committed to eating healthier. Nutrition has an impact on all the different domains because learning what goes on in your body according to your lifestyle and facing challenges is all part of living a happier, healthier lifestyle.

An area where I struggle is getting the proper amount of sleep. I think it has to do with the fact that this is my first time living away from home and sleep isn’t my number one priority. My goal is to adjust my sleep schedule to go to bed at a reasonable hour so I feel motivated and energized throughout the day.

In high school, I was the communications director for the environmental council. The reason I got such a low score on environmental wellness is that I’m not actively involved in the club anymore. I am well aware this isn’t a valid excuse, but I want to make it a goal to join at least one club environmentally based. I would like to focus on getting involved in environmental conservation projects as they help contribute to my feeling that I have a purpose in life. This might help steer me in the right direction again and help contribute to my emotional wellness by making me feel good about myself.

Overall, there is not one dimension in which I received a perfect score, and I doubt that any of my classmates did. This shows that my overall wellness has the potential for growth and strengthening. I’m excited to work towards my new health and wellness goals as it will push me to learn more about myself and contribute to my overall wellness.

Every person, all 7.7 billion human beings, has a unique existence in this world. Each and every one of us has a unique personality that shapes who we are and how we act. According to Dr. Ray Archer’s lecture, personality is defined as a person’s consistent patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving that contribute to their individuality (Archer, 2019). Over the years, there have been many theories and perspectives on what shapes and influences the personalities we have developed over our lifetime. Based on the in-class inventories of myself and others, some personalities I have now are unselfishness, courage, and hard work. On the other hand, when I was younger, my personality could be described as caring, outgoing, doer, and artistic. In this essay, I will conduct a retrospective analysis of my personality to trace my personal development and discover how I became who I am today.

To begin with, when I was younger I felt that most of my personality could be explained by the behavioral/learning perspective. The behavioral/learning perspective explains how the environment that surrounds a person influences their behavior. More detailed, through observational learning. Growing up, I was so close to my mother and siblings. I always watched and followed everything they did. My mother was so caring and nurturing to me, my siblings, family members, and her friends. I watched as she used to comfort us and always make sure we were happy and feeling well. I wanted to follow in her footsteps, so I began comforting my siblings and my friends around my neighborhood and in school. Every time someone was feeling down or sad, I was always the first person there by their side to make sure they were happy in the end. Still to this day, many people describe my personality as caring. I always try to comfort anyone, whether they are my friends, family members, classmates, or anyone I have met. The motivation that allowed me to keep this personality and trait over the years until now is the feeling I get inside when I help people. In addition to that, the response and feedback I get from them after being helped, makes me feel really good inside and brings joy to me.

When I was younger, one personality trait that everyone praised me on was being obedient. I was very polite, never got in trouble, and followed all the rules in school and at home. I never disrespected my mom, peers, or authority figures. Looking at this personality trait, I realized this is explained perfectly by the person-centered theory. More detailed, conditional positive regard. I always thought that if I behaved and never got in trouble, it would increase the chance of everyone loving and accepting me. I felt that if I acted out, my family, peers, and friends would not accept me or want to be around me. This fear and constant thought of my conditions of worth to be favored by others has always motivated me to be obedient. Obedience was one of my most highly praised traits by adults, and that acceptance and assurance from them made me feel really good inside.

To explain some of the personality traits that I see in myself now, it is best to observe the McCrae and Costa Big 5 personality theory. The Big 5 personality theory gives 5 personality traits that make up your personality, including openness, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism. Upon taking the Big Five personality test, I scored 73% in openness, 71% in conscientiousness, 87.5% in extraversion, 83% in agreeableness, and 27% in neuroticism. Growing up and now, I have always been very creative and adventurous in the sense that I constantly try to challenge myself and explore new things. This includes the different sports I have participated in such as basketball, volleyball, and soccer. I love trying new things, whether it’s food from different countries and cultures or thrill-seeking activities. This could explain why I scored high in openness, meaning I am imaginative, curious, and open-minded. Growing up, I was always detail-oriented and had a plan. I knew that I was going to play sports in college and hopefully professionally. I drew up a step-by-step plan that would allow me to reach my goals, and here I am now, playing basketball for the University of Kentucky. Since I strive so much to be the best I can be and achieve all my goals, I tend to find myself a workaholic. I am always in training, working out, and overall just trying to better myself. This explains why I scored high in the conscientiousness section, meaning I am a compulsive perfectionist, responsible, and reliable. It is also considered a key ingredient in one’s success, and so far I have been doing exceptionally well. Growing up and now I have always been a people’s person. I would rather be hanging out with my friends than sitting alone by myself. I enjoy meeting and getting to know new people and I always have fun and let loose at parties. One thing that motivates me to always participate in sports is to have my team always surrounding me. They are there to always hang out with, talk with, and be supportive. This explains why I scored the highest in the extraversion section. It means that I thrive on excitement, I am an action-oriented person, and like to be the center of attention. When looking at agreeableness, the traits that I can relate to are that I am trustworthy, honest, and optimistic. I find myself always putting other needs and feelings before mine, even when they shouldn’t be. I am very well-liked and can connect and befriend almost everyone I meet without even trying very hard. Lastly, I can empathize with anyone, even if I can’t relate to the situation. This explains why I scored high in the agreeableness section, meaning I am kind, cooperative, and considerate. Last but not least, I scored the lowest in neuroticism. Since I have played sports all my life, and especially at the collegiate level, I have developed a certain amount of discipline. Playing sports, I have always stayed level-headed and not let certain things bother me such as losing or taunting from the other team. I have always been quick on my feet and able to stay calm under stressful situations and get what I need to get done. This goes in hand with my low neuroticism score, meaning I am emotionally stable, optimistic, worry-free, and a natural leader.

As I have matured into a college athlete, I believe the personality I have developed can be described by the evolutionary perspective. More detailed by evolution and adaptation. Meaning that the personality I have developed came from social instincts that evolved by natural selection and adaptations. The main contribution to this is playing basketball at the collegiate level. When I was younger, everything was about me, and I felt that everything had to be centered around me. I wanted all the attention and praise. I was selfish. However, in college and athletics, I quickly understood the importance of being a team and working together. I had to adapt to an environment where I wasn’t the only star on the team, and everyone here brings something different to the table that makes the team function as one. Now one of my best personality traits is selfishness. On and off the court, I will put someone else’s needs or interests before mine. On the court, I will sacrifice my three-point shot for my teammate to get a guaranteed layup. Now I share the spotlight and would like to just be on an equal playing field as others. While it is good to get praised for the hard work I put in and my accomplishments, I am okay with it not always being publicized and known.

Last but not least, the last personality trait that I am most proud that I have developed is high self-esteem. I am very confident in myself and know that I have high self-esteem, but I don’t know how high it was. I eventually learned about my self-esteem when I took the self-determination/self-esteem evaluation during class. On that evaluation, I scored 34 out of 40. This score is really high and means I have high self-esteem. From this score, it means that I know how to access and acknowledge my strengths and weaknesses. Overall, it means that I have a high sense of self-worth and personal value. In the past, my score would have been much lower than this. I wasn’t so confident or had high self-esteem if I wasn’t playing a sport because I knew that I could excel in that sport. Playing sports was my comfort zone. However, now I am more confident on and off the court and wherever I am. It has taken me a long time to get to this point, and all it took was self-reflection. This is best explained through the humanistic perspective. The humanistic perspective has 4 major focuses: personal responsibility, the here and now, people know themselves best, and personal growth. The main two that relate to me and my development into high self-esteem are people who know themselves best and personal growth. Even if the things they said were not true, like I would never play ball in college or professionally or never make it in academics alone, I would always let it get to me. Once I started to ignore people and what they said about me, I noticed my self-esteem started to increase. Then, once I stopped listening to them and letting them get me down, I started seeing my personal growth and change. This only motivated me to push harder and just believe in myself. I love who I am today and what I have become. I will always have high self-esteem because I have worked so hard to get here and will not let myself or anyone else bring it down.

Looking over my personality and my personality traits, I can see a trend in where my personality came from and what has shaped it today. When I was younger, my personality was most shaped by my environment. Mainly my mother and siblings. As I grew up and now, my personality was mainly shaped by my passion and life, basketball. I would not like to be different and change anything about my personality. If I did, I truly would not be myself. My personality is unique to me and I possess certain characteristics that no one else possesses. Whether they are good or bad, they still make me who I am today, and I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world. I do not believe at the moment I will change, and it would be very difficult to do so. However, I do believe that as I get older, my personality and personality traits will change, and it will be fairly easy. I will not always have my mother or basketball to influence me. I will be faced with new obstacles such as a new career or hobby, marriage, and kids that I will have to adapt to and be influenced by. Only then will a change in my personality be easy and acceptable for me.