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I received the news 7 years ago I was then going to be a sister to not one but two girls, At 9 years old I was heartbroken at the thought of my full world being rocked as I had been an only child all these years. From a very early age my family could tell Millie and Danni weren’t going to be easy to parent, little did we know there was a reason behind the bad behavior and constant reassurance the twins needed. Millie was autistic, autism affects 1 in 59 children and Millie was one of them the effects of the condition hit our family hard, nothing was simple many who have it struggle with social skills and their behavior as Millie does quite severely and our family faces many new challenges that come with it each day.
It took many doctor appointments and trips to a speech and language therapist for Millie to officially be diagnosed as autistic. Although everyone knew deep down something was off with Millie from the start, like many people in today’s society we didn’t quite understand the definition of Autism and we began to realize that it doesn’t just affect that one person it also has an effect on those around as well. I briefly remember the very first time a major change that has happened in our lives and how we have to now adapt to it, we were out for dinner and music began to play loudly this clearly irritated Millie, she began to scream covering her ears, crying terribly. We took her outside to try to calm down and that was the night over, we couldn’t go back into the restaurant without upsetting Millie and I remember just how my mum acted it was clear she couldn’t help but feel embarrassed in the restaurant and also Heartbroken of what Millie went through all for a simple meal with the family. It was clear that Millie’s brain works in a whole different way than mine and how her behavior doesn’t fit with society’s ‘norm’ of being a certain way and how her amazing skills always go unappreciated. We all began to fully realize how Millie’s needs were the most important rather than ours as hard as it was for me to accept this. To be the sister of someone who’s autistic means every moment of the day is chaotic, unpredictable, and stressful but also it has also given our close family irreplaceable life experiences that we wouldn’t change for the world that have made us who we are today.
My mother took the news the hardest as her motherly instinct knew deep down but also she wondered about the struggle Millie will have in her later life and how all this time when people said that maybe she was just bad-behaved or maybe it was just harder for her to adapt to things but really something more complicated was going on. All these years my mum has tried different coping strategies for our family to try to help certain situations like routine charts or taking her to support groups which were somewhat helpful. My mum no longer had a social life she was a full-time carer with the help of other family members, she could no longer go out with her friends or go get her hair done basic things that woman her age do. My mum is stuck to a certain routine every day for Millie which can be boring and makes it hard for my mum to get time to herself. I sympathize with my mum as she had her moments when things got tough but she always tries her best to be the best mum she can be and continue being the glue of our family without her things wouldn’t be the same. My mum fears the years ahead as she hopes she doesn’t struggle socially and she finds friends who she can be comfortable with and who understand her for who she is.
Being a big part of Millie’s life I try to help out as much as I can and try to make Millie’s day a little less difficult, Millie being autistic has opened up my eyes a lot and helped me realize how hard everyday life is for someone living with this condition. Although When I was younger I missed out on quite of my childhood as I spent days looking after my sisters and helping my mum around the house while my friends were out socializing which made me mature quickly at a very young age and deal with situations people my age normally wouldn’t have went through. Even now I struggle to even take my sister out for a simple walk as it’s unpredictable when her next outburst will be and how I’m going to handle it. I slowly drifted from my family which caused me to be a very independent person I tend to just do everything myself as I had to when I was younger because my mum had enough to deal with my twin sisters. This caused a strain on me and my relationship she missed quite a bit of my growing up in my early teenage years things like boyfriends and gossiping the kind of stuff you want to be able to talk to your mum about but she just simply never had the time. Only recently I and my mum have formed a close relationship again now that the twins are older so things have gotten easier but I still try to spend all my time alone in my personal space as often my family would interrupt that. I personally feel empathy for Millie as it’s not her fault that she doesn’t process things as fast and can live a normal lifestyle she has cake along the way but it’s only going to be just as difficult as she becomes older. As a high school student just now I do know that kids can be mean and thoughtless which worries me for Millie and even other kids with autism. I feel in this generation schools should provide an education of some sort on mental health and kids should be taught the symptoms and have a better understanding of this condition it could make the world a better place, especially for those with the condition. I believe that If teenagers understood more maybe they wouldn’t be as much bullying as those with autism who didn’t bring it on themselves.
When moaning about staying up later or wanting the newest Apple product seems insignificant when your sibling is struggling with basic life skills it really does change your aspect of life. Living with a sibling with autism has given me irreplaceable life experiences that have turned me into a strong, independent, and caring young adult who knows the true meaning of patience and family. I am the luckiest big sister in the world to have every day blessed by the joy that Millie brings to my life. Disabilities really do bring you back to the simplest acts in life like how important it is to be kind and loving to all, especially your loved ones.
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