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Of all traditions cherished in the society for centuries, marriage seems to be the least prone to any outwards influences. The smallest changes to the institute of marriage raise heated discussions immediately, and even the least noticeable alterations in the roles of a husband and a wife never resonate with the society well. As a result, the introduction of the principles of gender equality into the institute of marriage is often viewed as an attempt to destroy the latter. Despite the fact that the principles of gender equality in marriage will clearly affect not only the relationships between a husband and a wife but also the roles of the spouses considerably, it is bound to change the institute of marriage for the better because of the opportunities for more stable relationships based on mutual respect and a reasonable approach towards the conflict solving process by two completely independent people.
Gender equality is a crucial component of relationships between a husband and a wife since this model allows for each of the spouses to take their share of responsibilities and be flexible in their choice of family roles. There is no secret that the lack of equality presupposes that the dominant party makes all major decisions in the family, leaving the other spouse to enjoy their less significant status. As a result, the spouse, which has fewer responsibilities, becomes dependent on the other one, and the dynamic relationships based on mutual trust and cooperation turn into the pattern, in which the dominant spouse usurps the power and the submissive one adopts the role of a son or a daughter rather than a grown-up man or woman.
One could argue that the relationships, in which each of the spouses is fully equal to another one, are impossible. True, keeping balance and drawing the line between being supportive and overprotective is not easy. However, once two independent people start building a relationship based on respect and care, they will be able to search for compromises instead of trying to take full control over the household and the relationships.
The recent study has proven that the people, who are capable of making compromises and are ready for reconsidering their idea of family roles, make much stronger families than those, who follow the traditional pattern of the husband assuming the role of a breadwinner and the leader, while the wife enjoys a lesser role (Marks, Bun & McHale, 2009).
The education issue also makes a great case for introducing gender equality into marriage. According to the recent report, the states, in which gender inequality in marriage is considered a norm, women have fewer education opportunities and even often fail to graduate from high school due to the pressure of the social norms concerning marriage: in Africa, Asia, and the culture of the Roma, “Girls and young women […] are, however, more likely to leave school earlier than boys, due to their family responsibilities and the persisting gender roles in their communities” (European Commission, 2008, p. 6).
It could be suggested that not all women pursue the goal of getting a diploma. Indeed, because of the cultural specifics of most states in Asia and Africa, as well as the Roma culture, girls and young women do not consider career opportunities as an alternative to family life. Therefore, dedicating themselves to their families completely, they follow their dream.
Nevertheless, one must have an opportunity to choose education, even though one might want to choose other options. It is the freedom of choice that makes positive family relationships possible. In addition to the ethical issues concerning educational opportunities for wives, the economic aspect should also be considered. Understandably enough, a woman, who has received a high school or a university diploma, will be able to support the family financially in a much more efficient way.
The aforementioned argument brings one to another proof of equality as the sole basis for any relationships between a husband and a wife. Equality is the only possible way to help the wife and the husband realize the necessity to switch roles when needed. In the realm of the XXI century economy, new options, as well as new threats, have emerged for the representative of every single class. Hence, it is important to use the chances to earn money for the well being of the family whenever one has the chance to. As a result, it must be considered a norm for both a husband and a wife to work in order to sustain the family. As a result, the couple will need to reconsider roles and responsibilities distribution, seeing how the wife will not be able to manage the household issues entirely and deal with every single household chore.
The necessity to switch family roles is, perhaps, one of the most controversial aspects of gender equality principles planted in the realm of an XXI century marriage. For a range of reasons and very understandable ones at that, men often consider dealing with the problems that are traditionally referred to as “womanly” as something to be ashamed of. As a result, a woman becomes responsible not only for earning money but also for managing the household on her own. Therefore, a complete reconsideration of roles and responsibilities and, therefore, absolute gender equality principles must be implanted into the mechanism of family interactions between the husband and the wife.
Speaking of the problem of earnings and engagement in the family life and household chores, one should also bring up the fact that complete equality presupposes that a specific tool for spouses’ performance measurement should be designed in order to keep their contributions to their family fully equal. Indeed, different types of work demand different effort and strength, as well as attention and care. More to the point, seeing how even different types of household chores require different rates of engagement, comparing the spouses’ contribution to the family well being, is not going to be easy.
Even though measuring the effect that the husband and the wife’s attempts of sustaining their family have on the progress and benefit of the latter is hardly possible, sharing responsibilities still is a major part of being married, which both spouses have to understand. The solution to the absence of proper measurement tools for the couple’s performance is, in fact, quite simple – all that it takes to keep the family alive is being respectful to the spouse and their weaknesses, as well as acknowledge their rights for being treated fair. Caring about the way that the husband or the wife feels about themselves and their role in the family is the key to creating trustworthy relationships based on the principles of gender equality.
Finally, as raising children requires that both the mother and the father should play their roles in the process, a child can only become fully developed and self-sufficient if both parents are self-sufficient themselves: “Specifically, fathers’ contribution to stereotypically feminine housework predicted sons’ involvement in the same type of work in adulthood. Cunningham’s findings, along with other studies on household task division []…point to the importance of parents’ time spent on housework in children’s gender role development” (Marks, Bun & McHale, 2009, p. 223).
Judging by the examples provided above, gender equality is an integral part of a happy and efficient family. As long as both partners acknowledge each other’s independence and are able to act on their own, at the same time recognizing their responsibilities and willing to contribute to the family, it will be possible for them to create a very strong bond and raise independent children. Moreover, a child can learn the appropriate patterns of communication and building relationships with others only in the family where both the husband and the wife build the inequality of their relationship.
Marriage equality clearly poses a range of questions to the present institute of marriage, challenging its core principles and addressing a range of controversial issues on both the social and the psychological levels. Nevertheless, the idea of gender equality should still be used as the foundation for modern marriage, since it allows for the cooperation of two fully independent adults. The given model is considered the healthiest one, since it creates the premises for not only long relationships between the spouses, based on trust and care, but also creating a healthy environment for raising children into self-sufficient adults with an adequate vision of what family is and what the roles of its members are.
Reference List
European Commission (2008). Ethnic minority and Roma women in Europe: A case for gender equality? Milano, Italy: FGB. Web.
Marks, J., Bun, L. C., & McHale, S. M. (2009). Family patterns of gender role attitudes. Sex Roles, 61(3–4), 221–234. Web.
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