Negotiation Scene From Personal Experience

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Introduction

Living in an area can be overwhelming, especially if one does not have funds to cater to all the expenses associated with the place. In most cases, parents prefer a situation where you stay within the homestead, and if you have to vacate, it is either after you have secured a job or schooling in a far state. This was my situation before deciding to stay with my parents while undertaking my O level studies.

Personal Story

On 24 of April, dad and I entered into an intense negotiation to convince him that I was grown-up enough to stay in the city while studying. A friend of mine had a similar situation, he was doing well by staying near the school and maybe reuniting with their families after their studies. At first, I thought it was a bad idea to engage my father about the school issue. However, after scrutinizing everything, it was evident that the move could boost my grades as I would have more time to study.

After finishing on everything that was required for me to leave our home and stay in the city to take my studies, I thought of telling my parents about the plan. The plan involved choosing a perfect time when everyone was present. Luckily, my mother supported me, and she was ready to help me out. However, when my dad heard about it, he just nodded his head and promised to respond later. I thought it was a good idea thus gave him ample time to respond positively.

Several days passed, and my dad had not spoken anything concerning the request. One day after evening dinner, he called me and asked me to explain the plans concerning my education. I had to explain how inconvenient it has been for me commuting daily to and from school. I explained how difficult it was to concentrate in the morning due to fatigue and the disturbances one gets as one travels to school. Furthermore, other issues were poor performance in school and my plans to boost my grades. I remember mentioning my poorly performing friends, but after embracing the strategy of staying near the school compound, they have been performing very well. When explaining all these, my dad was busy jotting something on a paper. I thought he was trying to count the cost for moving from our home to the nearest city to facilitate my studies.

Unfortunately, he was not in for the idea and proposed initiating the transfer process of moving me from the school to a nearby institute that was doing well. Often he could explain the cost incurred to ensure that I am safe and sound while taking my studies away from home, especially at my age. He also explained on how I might not improve my studies to a significant extent that would guarantee the funding of my plans. He insisted that embracing my project would be difficult for him, especially in ensuring that all of us as a family are safe. He also quoted cases of gun violence that have been on the rise and raised many concerns over my security. Although he was in a position to fund everything, his security concerns changed and I had to vacate.

I promised him to maintain constant communication and raise the alarm in case of anything messy. I tried telling me how my schoolmates had not experienced such a situation which was the same case with me. I even had to call a friend who had embraced the idea and used him to convince my dad. However, it was as if my efforts were falling on deaf ears, for he was not ready to change his mind. I had to involve my mum and use her to change my dads attitude. However, although my mum tried to explain why the idea could be productive, my dad remained firm. His primary concern was not my efforts to get a good grade, but he was profoundly concerned about my security and well-being.

Relevant Concepts

Some of the concepts related to the above case include:

Strategy

A strategy refers to an action plan designed to achieve a long-term goal. It is the art of directing or planning overall stakeholders into achieving something. In the above case, the techniques and the expectations were relevant (Doran et al. 730). However, it is as if the strategy used to bring up the argument failed in one way or another. The father figure, in this case, was not entirely convinced of the need to embrace the plan of vacating. Even though the father figure was in an excellent position to adopt the program and fund it for them later, his security concerns carried the day. There is no way he could have changed his mind. Some of the strategies used to try and change his mind included telling him about the plans benefits, an assurance of safety through examples, and using other third parties to try and chip in. All the third parties tried convincing him, but nothing worked.

Integrative Tactics

Integrative tactics refer to an interests-based argument where all parties are involved in settling the dispute in question for a win-win situation. In this case, a win-win situation will be achieved by creating a peaceful environment at home even after engaging in a strong argument (Amara 694). The father figure, in this case, had security concerns because of love. There have been reports on gun violence in the state. Therefore, leaving a young lad to live in a city without guaranteed security would be wrong. Furthermore, improving ones grade is critical and everyone would love a situation where their kids excel in school. However, such efforts in most cases would result in family divisions. The best thing is to go for peace and create a problem in the family where everyone feels at ease with each other despite their differences.

Distributive Tactics

Distributive tactics are any policy that allows parties involved in a negotiation to claim the value of the talks at the expense of all the other parties involved in the case. In most cases, these tactics are closely associated with what is known as handball policies (Worley et. al. 249). Some of the common aspects of this approach include claiming limited authority, intimidation, reluctance, and bluffing.

In most cases, effective negotiations in distributive situations spend a lot of time when preparing to negotiate. They win arguments by using various reasons to support their stand. My dad effectively utilized distributive tactics to win the debate in the above case. In the first case, he did not want to respond immediately, especially after learning that everyone else was optimistic about the idea. Conversely, taking some days to think over a situation provided ample time for reasoning and getting a basis over a particular stand. In this case, my dad brought about the issue of security concerns to explain why he opposed the idea. As a result, he did not initiate any transfer policy at all. This is one of the strategies that most negotiations winners use to convince the other parties of the need to learn their idea and consider other options.

Message Construction

This refers to the art of arranging words to pass a particular message. It is the use of various communication skills to give specific notice to people involved in the negotiation. In the above case, the use of this method has been embraced by the latter. At first, my dad had to look for ample time before responding. Taking time is critical as it allows the involved parties to choose the right words to pass the message.

In most cases, people who respond in a hurry might miss out on something critical that is core in each communication. However, the art of buying some time is crucial as it allowed my dad to raise a concern that had never crossed my mind. The mention of gun violence among the security concerns changed everything. The aspect indicates that the art of taking time was critical in constructing a message that changed the whole thing. This is key in any negotiation as the parties who embrace such procedures usually win the argument.

Concessions

It refers to the issue that is granted, especially after making a demand. Although the concession is not presented in the above case, the parties made the necessary demands (McKibben 911). For instance, I was critical in requesting my parents to support my transfer to the nearest city to boost my performance. I was willing to leave the family and create my own time left to excel in the upcoming examinations. However, the concession was not granted as my dad was unwilling to fund and initiate the necessary plans. A settlement was arrived at after all the parties involved came to an agreement. In this case, my dad was not willing to comply with the idea of having me out of the homestead for studies. Although my mum had agreed, there were no valid reasons to change my dads mind so that he could grant the concession.

Unfolding of the Results

After a long and comprehensive discussion, I had to comply with my dads reprimands and forego all my plans. One of the concepts that enhanced this is the integrative tactic. In this case, peace in our family was the number one priority. After an analysis, it was clear that moving out of the family would do us more harm than good. One aspect that could curtail the situation is that my mum was willing to support the idea, but my dad was not ready to help with the concept. Such a minor issue could divide the family into two. Therefore, the best thing to do to unite the family was to forego the idea.

Initially, I thought my parents would embrace the idea. The art of timing and using relevant examples to explain my plan appeared to be one of the best strategies that would guarantee a concession. I chose to communicate my ideas after a family dinner. I thought this strategy would ideally convince my parents to support me fully. However, it appears as if my dad outwitted me by choosing not to respond immediately. The art of seeking more time to reason gave my dad an opportunity of thinking out and came up with a response that changed everything.

My dad seemed to have mastered the strategy of message constrictions. Research studies show that people who succeed or excel in any negotiation embrace the art of constructing their message with uttermost care and reasoning. Most of them are not fast to respond to situations, and they opt to take more time to analyze everything. These are the significant aspects that allow them to convey a message that enhances them to win a negotiation. For instance, my dad had a good time convincing our family otherwise in this case. Initially, all of us believed that the art of moving out was the best idea. However, once our dad raised an issue with security, we had to think otherwise and argue about how security issues affect us as a nation. Cases of gun violence have been on the rise, and we cannot afford to take it lightly.

The other aspect that caused me to change my mind is that I adored living in a peaceful family rather than excelling in a jeopardized one. Although I had tried to convince my dad that there is ample security within the school after reasoning on issues that relate to gun violence, I had to forgo my plans. If I had remained adamant about my project, mum could have supported me, but there could be struggles in the family. Funding my vacation required a lot of funds that could only be sourced from dad. Therefore, there was no way I could stick to my plans without funds, and yet I had to depend on a source that was against the idea. Embracing peace in the family and forgetting about the plans of moving out were the only options left. I had to comply and hope that despite the challenges I was going through as I sought more knowledge, I would still excel in my studies and, above all, fulfil my destinies.

Arriving at a concession cannot be achieved when all the parties are not in agreement. A concession is reached when one party convinces the other of the need to comply and take a particular stand. In this case, a concession would have given me an opportunity of vacating the house and moving to the city for my studies. Unfortunately, not all parties were willing to support the idea. Apart from that, security issues were also discussed at length. Since my dad was unwilling to conform and change his stand, we had to forego the pursuit of the concession and choose peace. The unity and peace meant a lot as compared to the art of excelling in academism and leaving our family in a jeopardized situation.

Lessons Learnt

One of the lessons learned from the situation is that proper strategy is critical in winning a negotiation. This includes effective timing when communicating an idea and choosing the correct words. Besides planning well and using the right strategies, it can be overwhelming to win a discussion unless one uses the right words. Therefore, timing and proper wording are critical in enhancing a win in any negotiation.

Even after using the correct words and embracing the right strategies, such as timing, a concession cannot be granted without the parties in a negotiation agreeing. This aspect means that an agreement is critical in any negotiation. All the involved sectors must agree and arrive at a common goal that would guarantee a win-win situation. The parties involved must agree to ensure equality and fairness. For instance, having peace in the family was more paramount than getting consent in the above case. There is no way I could leave my family in battles to go to the city to seek more knowledge and fail in the long run. I had to sacrifice and forego all my plans to boost peace in my family.

The other lesson I learned from the negotiation is that taking ones time before responding to an argument is very important. For instance, my dad did not respond immediately. He took a couple of days as he reason on what to do. After a few days, his response changed everything, and we had to adapt his ideas and embrace family peace. If I had taken some time to reason out over my actions, the chances are that I could have used the right strategy to approach my dad, and maybe he could have funded my plans. Unfortunately, I had less time to consult here and there, and in the long run, I had to cancel my plans and stick to the initial goal of leaving home for school daily. Therefore, this is a lesson learned in a hard way.

Perception of the Other Party

In this case, the other parties were my parents, more so my dad. In the first place, he appreciated that I was willing to go an extra mile to improve my grades. In addition, he appreciated the fact that I was proving to be a grown-up and doing what other people would not think of doing. However, his love would not allow him to let me out at such an age. The aspect means that he took the whole responsibility as a parent would take to protect their family. From his stand, we had to comply as he is the head of the family. In addition, his efforts would only be appreciated by complying with his wise plans. Therefore, to him, safety was much more precious compared to a good grade.

Conclusion

A negotiation should end up with a mutual agreement that ensures that all the parties involved in the discussion are satisfied. The party that wins a negotiation must present its case well and use the correct words to convince the other parties. An agreement should benefit all the parties involved. For instance, in this case, as the warring parties, we had to embrace peace and continue living in harmony as we sought to advance in all ways. The information stated in this paper might be a useful step by step guideline, that might be utilized in order to further deepen ones understanding of ins and outs of all sorts of negotiations.

Work Cited

Doran, Adele, Peter Schofield, and Tiffany Low. Womens mountaineering: accessing. DOI: 10.1057/s41262-020-00206-6

McKibben, Heather Elko. What do I get? How do states negotiation alternatives influence the concessions they receive in multilateral negotiations? European Journal of International Relations 26.3 (2020): 896-921.

Worley, Timothy R., and Marina R. Shelton. Workfamily conflict, relational turbulence mechanisms, conflict tactics and marital satisfaction. Journal of Applied Communication Research 48.2 (2020): 248-269.

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