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Everyone needs friends but the question is why do we need friends? Whether we realize it or not, friends play a very important role in our lives. A friend is your support system away from your family. They are there through your sadness and happiness; they make the good times better and ease hard times. They are someone you can share your troubles, secrets, and joys with, who can understand your thoughts, feelings and help you when you need it the most. But in a world where technology is increasingly expanding, in which the Internet plays a major role in the lives of most people today, it has become easy for people to make friends online. The term friend has transformed into someone you only know through a screen. Although they bear some minor similarities, the differences between real life friends and online friends are profound.
A real-life friend can actually physically be there for you and with you. They know you better, they know every bit of you because you share experiences together in person. You can enjoy their company in real life. A real-life friend is there to comfort you with a hug when needed. You can spend time together, go to the park, go out to eat, go to the movies etc. It is easier to communicate and understand someone because everything can be said face to face. With face-to-face contact, you can communicate in a variety of ways, verbally, with your body language etc. When you talk to someone in person, you are able to read that person’s body language, facial expressions and listen to their vocal tone which helps you better understand them. For example, in a face-to-face conversation, you are able to understand someone’s message. If someone were to say, “I hate you!” in a high voice and throw up their hands, you would automatically be able to know your friend is upset at you by their verbal tone and volume, the way they look at you, and their body movement. Your friend could also be saying, “I hate you!” in loving, and jokingly way. In this case they would laugh, and smile after saying that. It is overall just easier to express your thoughts and feelings clearly. This also makes it easier to spot one’s true colors/ personality. When someone shows emotion, such as the expression on their face when you hangout, when they smile etc., their presence either makes you feel happy or sad. You learn about one’s personality through observing their emotional character when they are standing directly in front of you. At the end of the day, it’s not the words that make you connect with someone it’s how the person makes you feel. Therefore, you are able to realize if you like them as a person. It is easier to identify the truths and lies and perceive someone’s intentions because you can see their actions and emotional behavior up close. Real life friends are more transparent because their body language and actions speak more than their mouth, therefore it is harder for them to lie. For example, if someone stutters, their voice shakes, they can’t make eye contact with you, etc. In essence, it’s more obvious when someone isn’t being truthful because you can see them acting differently. Although there are many great things a real-life friend has to offer, making real life friends isn’t that easy. People in real life don’t always give you a chance. I think most of us can agree that we all have some prejudices and I think that is one thing that holds face to face friendships back. people often times look at someone and perceive them as not worthy because of first impressions. They walk by them and move on to different people without actually getting to know what the person is like. I think that is why real-life friendships are frustrating for most people because there are a lot of really nice people out there that could make an amazing friend for someone but instead others are hung up judging them. This makes it hard for some to make friends sometimes because they feel like they will be judged, labeled or turned down by first impressions. It is easier for someone to judge and turn you down when they can see you, what you look like, etc.
Online or in real life you have a friend to talk to when you need it. Both can be just as understanding, caring, and loving towards you. Although a virtual friend cannot physically comfort you, they can still talk and listen to you just as much as a real-life friend when you need to be heard out. Both can bring you happiness and make you feel better when you are down. They are there for you to share your troubles, secrets, and joys with. But just as much as a friend can be genuine, a friend can come and go real, or online. Both can lie and hide their true identity. Yes, obviously a friend online can hide their physical appearance and a friend in real life cannot, but a real-life friend can hide their true colors and not be honest with you. For instance, in person, a friend may hang out with you and pretend to like you but then go behind your back and say mean things, or spread absurd lies and gossip. A face-to-face friend can act like themselves when they are with you but then outside of spending time with, they can act different with others. Someone online friends can be a different person behind the screen, physically and emotionally. An online friend and a real-life friend can pretend to be someone they are not. You can’t always pick up on someone’s truthfulness no matter if you interact with them face to face or not.
It is often times easier to talk to people online. It may be easier for people who struggle with the pressure of real-life conversations and socially awkward. I myself am pretty shy in real life so sometimes it is difficult to make friends. I can understand why people turn to making friends on the Internet. it is so much easier to start a conversation, discuss real life problems, let out emotions, and say what you really feel and think with someone who will always listen and is just one click away. With online interactions you cannot right away judge or turn someone down based on their appearance. Your appearance doesn’t matter, you can any weight, any race, size, sex etc. People online are more likely to give you a chance because they meet your personality first. They meet who you are inside first and therefore, you are no longer known by what you look like, how you dress, how much money you have, how popular or awkward you are. Online friends give you a chance because they can’t judge the book by the cover in a sense.
An online friendship can be a genuine relationship, but of course it has its disadvantages. There are many potential dangers when it comes to online friends. There are strange people online. People’s personalities are often times different than real life. They may be lying to you for attention or exaggerating about their life to seem better, worse, or happier than you. It is easily for someone to lie about who they are because they don’t have to show their appearance. You can’t see the persons face when you’re talking to them therefore you don’t know for sure if someone is who they say they are. They could be an online predator, a murderer, rapist, pervert, scammer, even someone you know trying to play games and possibly get to you for all you know. You don’t know an online person’s agenda and intentions. You don’t know if they really do want someone to talk to or if they are trying to get something from you. Their motives may be bad. You just don’t know who you’re dealing with. Online friends can’t be there for you physically. We all sometimes need comforting and a hug or two. But an online friend can’t be there to hug you and show that they care for you. An online friend may be able to relate to you and understand your personal thoughts, feelings and point of view, but in real life they don’t know everything that is going on. They can only agree to what you think is bad through what you say. You can’t spend time with them, you can’t go do fun spontaneous activities or go on adventures, such as go to the beach, go bike riding, go bowling or even go on a walk to talk. FaceTime is one thing but you can’t make true memories. With an online friend, it can also be difficult to communicate and comprehend emotions without body language because you can’t perceive emotions through the screen. You can’t see the delivery of the words being said in a message. In a text there are no facial expressions, gestures, tone, body language, etc. for you to react to and understand. There may be emojis to show how someone feels but they aren’t always accurate. It also may be hard to put things into context when someone writes something because it’s hard to make out the true meaning of it. Is it sarcasm or is it a joke? For example, if your friend texted, “I hate you!”, you wouldn’t know if that person is joking or saying it in a meaningful matter.
It is important to recognize that although we can make friends online, online friends are different from real-life friends. A real-life friend knows you and can be there for you in person. They meet your exterior and interior. An online friend is so close, yet so far. They are digitized and can only be so much a part of your life. Sometimes all we need is someone to discuss our life problems with who is understanding and not biased, and whether that person is found in an online friend or real-life friend is completely up to you. An online friend or a real-life friend, sometimes friendships will change and grow apart. It is not fair to say that having online friends or real-life friends is better than the other, but there’s something irreplaceable about, real human contact.
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