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According to the most of the fathers, mother was the responsible person of taking care of the children especially in early years. These fathers did not take up the charge of physical care in their children’s. The majority of the participants mentioned that the fathers’ took part in daily caring and rearing activities which were mainly talking or gossiping; watching movie or TV with them; taking them to a park or any relatives house or for a walk; buying toys or foods; playing with them and eating with them. Few of the fathers stated that they were engaged in some physical activities like: feeding, giving a bath to children, cutting their nails and dressing them. One of the mother uttered with sadness, “After the child was born, the father could not take the child in his arms. Didn’t even try. The father said that he could not take her in his arms, he thought that she might fall down. One day I was sitting with the baby in my arms as the baby girl did not sleep, and he (my husband) slept all night. In that time my child used to cry all night but the father did not help me at all.”
It is very interesting that very few fathers attended their children’s school activities regularly; the fathers assist the children rarely to prepare their homework. One of the mother described in this way, “Their father plays with the child, but does not sit with them to read. Even when I sit with our child to read and sometimes he scold me. He tells, ‘why are giving so much pressure. Let her enjoy, you should not give stress to her so much.’ It seems that her father gives them pleasure and I rule them.”
When the participants were asked about how they spend their holiday, they told that they spent more time with children and their family. Majority of the participants told that they watch movie together, visit any amusement park or historical place, going for shopping etc. Some also responded that they do house hold chores to relief their spouse. However, in holiday they spend more time with family.
Most of the parents agreed that the time which they spend with their children was still huge variances between mothers and fathers though minimal change has occurred. They shared that the fathers’ can pass hardly two to three hours with the children on a weekday and maximum four to five hours on a weekend. They also indicated that fathers’ work demand is a big factor, mother spent significantly much time with their children than fathers. One of the parents stated, “Now I have no time for my own. I try to give the child time after coming home. But most of the time, it is late night when I return home from office due to this work pressure. And my daughter goes to sleep to wait. I feel bad, when do not have time for my child, after coming home. And sometimes I’m so tired that I have to rest.”
When the participants were asked about fathers’ special activities towards children’s development and well-being, they replied that most of the fathers’ were very concerned about the children’s health. For child’s well-being they typically exchanged their ideas of social norms and shared their thoughts on how to cope with society.
Most of the fathers were happy to give advice, share their knowledge and perception on life to the children because they thought that by this way they could prepare their children. Most of the parents thought that it is their duty to prepare their children for the future life by giving them advice and share their life experience.
Some fathers reported that they give physical punishment when the child be naughty and they assured the essentiality of that punishment for the children’s well-being. One father explained, “I don’t beat the child that much. If they do not listen at all, give a slap or two. Children cannot always be understood by loving. I regulate them for the proper development and well-being of the children.”
On the other hand, some fathers stated that they did not punished the child rather they discussed about the issue with the child. One of them expressed, “I try to talk to my child. I try to understand his needs, his problems, his feelings, especially his state of mind. Then understand the situation and point the right path. I don’t like to give pressure on him. And I think that’s how his well-being will be ensured.”
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