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Edward James Olson in the film ‘Selena’ said: “We have to be more Mexican than the Mexican, and more American than the American. It is exhausting! Nobody knows how tough it is to be a Mexican American”. That is very true, it is hard to be a Mexican American. If you do not speak perfect English, Americans think less of you; you also have to speak flawless Spanish or Mexicans will label you a ‘pocho’. No matter what we do, we are not going to please either side of the cultural divide.
I was born and raised in Mexico. Being born gave me automatically US citizenship because of my father’s side. I lived in Mexico for over seventeen years. We did not live in an elegant place, in fact, we lived in the most dangerous neighborhood, it was and still is not a safe area to reside in, but that did not stop my father to provide my sisters and me with a good education. From kindergarten through seventh grade, I assisted bilingual schools. It was not easy to pay for. Private schools cost a lot, and for my father paying for three of us was a lot harder. Eventually, not being able to afford private schools, we had to attend public schools. Assisting a public school in Mexico was the easiest thing I have ever done in my short life, but not the best, they did not challenge the students to be better like private schools, and that for me was the biggest disappointment. I was criticized for knowing English, and they call me ‘gringa’ only for speaking another language besides Spanish.
In 2018, as a family, we decided to move to Texas for a better educational opportunity, and we did not realize all the things we were getting into. My siblings and I stayed at my grandparent’s house for a couple of months while my parents visited Texas in search of our new home. School had already begun, so I had to study at home by myself because we did not know where we were going to reside. I had to read the books my father gave me about US history, the history of California, study math at Khan Academy, and watch videos about history just to know a little bit more about the place where I was going to live. After a while, my parents came back, but clearly, Texas was not our new home. After months of searching, my parents finally decided to buy a house in Visalia. During the process of the documentation, we had to stay at a hotel in Tulare, we stayed there for over a month waiting for the papers to own the house. School was not an option during this time, don’t get me wrong, of course I wanted to attend school, but the school did not want to enroll me, I was called ‘homeless’ just because we did not own the house yet.
Starting school, I was placed in gateways, English for the ones who do not know; honestly, I did not know why I was there, I was way better to be there, I know it because my teacher was surprised when she heard me talk, she could not believe that a Mexican could talk well. After one semester, I was changed to regular English classes, where they laughed at me for having an accent. It is hard, not fitting anywhere. I was called ‘gringa’ only for knowing English, and ‘beaner’ because of my accent. People thought that being from Mexico meant not being good at school, and not wanting to go to college; Americans live in this stereotypical society where Mexicans are poor, stupid, and without education, but I proved them wrong. Teachers were surprised by what I could and can achieve. I got A’s and unfortunately a C in history; the teacher gave me a passing grade to complete the first semester because he saw I am a hard worker and that I do everything to be as good as American or even better.
Nowadays my former teachers and friends tell me that my accent is fading and that I’m becoming more American, but that is not true, I will always and forever be Mexican American, and I’m proud of it. I will show the Americans that Mexicans can be as good or even better than US citizens; we indeed have to work harder than them, but if you keep trying, you can become something greater.
Coming to the US has given me the opportunity for a better education.
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