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It was June 15, 2018, at approximately 6:52 pm l can still remember the weather vividly it wasn’t blazing hot outside but it was warm about 70 degrees and the sun was starting to set. That was when my whole life changed.. for the better l found out l was pregnant. I was scared, scared of what my family would say or think, sacred because l was only 18. 18 and in college, barely working and just getting my life started. Fast forward to July 11th l finally got to see my baby at the ob-gyn and hear the heartbeat at this time l didn’t know if it was a girl or boy l was only 9 weeks and a few days. I remember being at the doctor l had so many thoughts running through my head. How will l do this, what kind of mom l would be, how my kid would look, how l would raise him, what he would wear for the first time, his first words I had numerous thoughts. Fast forward to August 15th the day l found out l was having a boy.
l was so excited because my significant other wanted a boy. We spoke it into existence Almost every day we would call the baby a boy. As time went on the feelings l had began to grow for my son nothing but love and my thoughts started to be positive. As time went on my stomach started to grow and grow and l would feel my son kick, then came the baby shower. The baby shower was so enjoyable all my friends and family came together to celebrate someone who was soon to be here, at this point l was adjusting to the thought of having a kid, the thought of being a mom, and the thought of doing things with a big belly and just making some life-altering changes.
The anticipation of having a baby was so surreal because l just wanted to be able to hug my son and kiss my son. On Feb 2nd is when the most shocking thing happened. I went in for a regular doctor’s appointment/check-up, earlier that morning l was rushing so l wouldn’t be late for my appointment because my dr office had a policy of if you were late by like 10 min you would have to reschedule. All the rushing resulted in me having anxiety. I finally get to the door and the technician who took my vitals and my weight told me my blood pressure was higher than it normally was, they took my blood pressure 3 times and told me if it was high the last time l would have to go upstairs, well it was very high and l had to go to the er part of the hospital called labor and delivery. The doctor began to talk to me and told me l had preeclampsia and for some who don’t know what that is it is complications due to high blood pressure which can be fatal for the babies and the mothers and l already knew a lot about preeclampsia just from reading books about pregnancy and doing research, the doctor didn’t tell me that my son wasn’t getting oxygen but I knew when you have preeclampsia the babies don’t get oxygen so the moment she said l had preeclampsia I told her l wanted to have my baby even if l had to have an emergency c section.
I couldn’t fathom waiting 9 months for my son and then something happening to my son. The hospital room was the usual, a tv on the wall, an uncomfortable bed, a table that folded out from the wall, a couch, a painting over the bed which consisted of beach scenery, a cart filled with unknown necessities the dr needed. the bed pad smelling of plastic, midwives standing next to me telling me I was doing an amazing job, the smell of the gloves from the dr hands as she was telling me to push she could feel my son’s head. They began the process of labor the gave me medicine to start my contractions which led to popping my water and speeding up my contractions. I can remember having such bad contractions for such a long period of time, this is the by far the worst pain I have experienced in a way it makes you almost paralyzed because the pain is so sharp all you can really do is just lay down and breathe and a contraction is a shortening of the uterine muscles occurring in intervals. They gave me an epidural which is anisethea they put a long needle in your spine and the doctor hit my nerves the first 2 times she did it and the 3rd try was a success I was frantic I didn’t know what to expect and I had some of the women in my family tell me stories but it doesn’t compare to actually going through it. The tears, the pain, the exhaustion.
I was in labor for about 9 hours. This is a day l would never forget, I had both of my parents there to support me and although at first, they were really upset they got over it and motivated me in the hospital room. 10:46 pm l had my beautiful baby boy l have never cried so much in life. The wait was over I could finally hug my son and tell him how much l love him the love that l felt from him was so pure so unconditional I felt as though he loved me as much as I loved him or maybe more because I know I needed him more then he needed me. When l looked ln his big hazel eyes he gave me a sense of peace and relief .he made me the happiest person in the world every emotion I felt that day was worth it, I now had a new title and new responsibilities a title I could share with many different women being s mother. it was the best feeling in the world l can’t really describe it to someone who has never experienced it but l felt so blessed l felt so much joy in my heart I felt like the luckiest person in the world because most women can not have kids due to health reasons or infertility.
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