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It is quite impossible to come up with the recipe for winning people’s affection, which would guarantee its practitioners 100% rate of success. Nevertheless, we can still outline the main principles, upon which the strategy of winning such affection must be based, by utilising our sense of logic.
First of all, it is important to understand that it is only when individual is capable of expressing its thoughts in clear and cohesive manner that creates preconditions for such individual to be treated with respect, regardless of whether these thoughts correspond to audience’s expectations or not. Therefore, nobody should even try winning people’s affection, without being in possession of an intellectual integrity; which in its turn corresponds to such person’s ability of operating with abstract categories and his ability of defining practical implications of such categories.
Second of all, one must have skills of an attentive listener. People have a tendency to think of their opinions as such that have an empirical value, even when confronted with the reality that suggests otherwise. Therefore, it is the matter of crucial importance for the individual who strives to make new friends, to appear as person that pays attention to what people say, while socializing in public.
Third of all, since the notion of affection is closely related to the notion of respect, one must strive to gain a reputation of reliable person who sticks to his promises.
As practice shows, person cannot be respected in apriori, simply for belonging to the specie of homo sapiens, as the hawks of political correctness try to convince us. Person’s existential integrity directly corresponds to his value as human being. Such value can be high or low, just as it is the case with just about anything in this world. One’s ability to show up on time and to stick up to its promises, automatically increases his value in the eyes of colleagues and co-workers, simply because there are less and less people capable of doing it, as the result of neo-Liberal ideological indoctrination, which refers to the notion of self-discipline as “euro-centric” and therefore – “fascist”.
Fourth of all, person who seeks to win people’s affection must prove itself capable of standing up for his beliefs, thus proving its existential sincerity. For example, the reason why majority of African-Americans are not particularly fond of White people, is not because they consider them as “racists”, but because Whites are afraid of expressing their racist attitudes publicly, while preferring to use N-word when there are no Blacks around. “Double-faced” individual can hardly be treated with respect, regardless of how hard he tries to please people that surround him.
Fifth of all, one must be capable of existing in non-conformist mode, that is – he needs to convince people of its own existential uniqueness. It is important to understand that such uniqueness has nothing to do with individual’s willingness to “celebrate diversity” or with his ability to consume French fries by tons, while being referred to as “person with special needs”, as the logical consequence. Existential uniqueness corresponds to person’s talent of adopting an unconventional outlook on the challenges; he gets to face throughout his life.
Sixth of all, one can only expect to win people’s affection (not to confuse with respect) if he possesses a certain charm. It is very hard to define charm’s rational subtleties. Some people do have it, some do not – it is as simple as that. At the same time, it is quite appropriate, on our part, to suggest that charm correlates with person’s ethnic affiliation.
After all, we often get to hear of “British charm”, “French charm” etc., but never of “Pakistani charm” or “Chinese charm”, probably due to the fact that representatives of non-White ethnic minorities posses collectivist rather then individualistic mentality. The notion of charm is utterly illusive, yet – it greatly affects person’s chances of winning people’s affection. We can only suggest watching James Bond movies for those who want to get a better understanding of what the concept of charm stands for.
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