“The Fine Art of Small Talk” by Debra Fine

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In her book The Fine Art of Small Talk, Debra Fine provides readers with several insights, into what accounts for one’s ability to indulge in productive conversations with others. The main idea, that is being promoted throughout the book’s entirety, is that, for people to be able to become effective conversationalists, they may never cease increasing the extent of their psychological awareness of how one’s brain works. Below, are the brief descriptions of what each of the book’s chapters is all about:

What’s the Big Deal About Small Talk? – In this chapter, Fine explains why it is utterly important for people to strive to attain the skills of verbal communication.
Get Over Your Mom’s Good Intentions – Here, the author promotes the idea that, those who want to be able to attain a social prominence, must be willing to adopt an active stance in life, which is why they may never consider timidness a virtue.
Take the Plunge: Start a Conversation! – According to Fine, people should never miss the opportunity to start a conversation when it presents itself.
Keep the Conversation Going! – In this chapter, the author comes up with several suggestions, as to how the ongoing conversation can be prevented from ‘dying.’ One of the keys to success, in this respect, is the conversationalist’s understanding of what accounts for his or her conversing counterpart’s emotional need to take part in the concerned conversation, to begin with.
Let’s Give ’Em Something to Talk About – This chapter promotes the idea that it represents the matter of crucial importance, for the person who initiates a conversation, to ensure that the conversation’s participants have the unrestricted opportunity to express their opinions, in regards to the discussed subject matter.
Hearing Aids and Listening Devices – To be an effective conversationalist, one must know what accounts for the specifics of how verbal information is finding its way into people’s minds.
Prevent Pregnant Pauses with Preparation – In this chapter, Fine provides readers with several advice, as to what may be considered the effective strategies of ensuring the conversation’s uninterrupted fluidity.
Conversational Clout – According to the author, while indulging in conversations, people should never cease applying an effort into making sure that what they say does not end up misinterpreted.
Crimes and Misdemeanors – This chapter reveals what can be considered the most obvious indications of one’s inability to carry on a conversation. The author discusses them, as such that is being affiliated with the psychological types of: ‘The FBI agent,’ ‘The Braggart,’ ‘The One-Upper,’ ‘The Monopolizer,’ ‘The Interrupter,’ ‘The Know-It-All,’ ‘The Poor Sport’ and ‘The Adviser.’
The Graceful Exit – This particular chapter is concerned with the author’s intention to enlighten readers on what may be considered the most appropriate/polite ways to end conversations.
The Conversational Ball Is in Your Court! – In this chapter, Fine outlines the ways of ‘fueling’ the ongoing conversation, such as taking a genuine interest in what other people have to say and congratulating them on the sheer insightfulness of their opinions, concerned with the conversation’s actual topic.
Make the Most of Networking Events! – Here, the author advocates the idea that those people, who strive to gain the fame of being effective conversationalists, should be willing to participate in the publicly held events, which presuppose close and personal socialization, on the participants’ part.
Surviving the Singles Scene – In this chapter, the author talks about the scope of possible strategies, which can be undertaken by those who take part in the earlier mentioned events, as the instrument of lessening the severity of their social anxieties.
Feel-Good Factor – The main thesis, promoted throughout this chapter’s entirety, is that while challenging people to a conversation, the initiators should be willing to apply an effort, to ensure the proposed conversation-topic’s emotional appeal to the potential participants.
Holiday Party Savvy – In this chapter, Fine outlines what can be considered the so-called ‘conversation killers,’ on the one hand, and ‘conversation ice-breakers,’ on the other.
Carpe Diem – Here, Fine provides readers with the opportunity to define the measure of their communicational excellence, by the mean of encouraging them to answer several close-ended questions, concerned with the book’s overall subject matter.

There can be no doubt that the earlier mentioned book by Debra Fine does relate to the book Looking Out, Looking In by Ronald Adler and Russell Proctor in more ways than just one. After all, both of these books were written for enlightening readers on how they can go about providing themselves thoroughly effective, as conversationalists.

One of the main similarities between The Fine Art of Small Talk and Looking Out, Looking In is that the authors of both of these books stress out the importance of understanding the qualitative essence of the psychological predispositions, on the part of the conversation’s participants. After all, as psychologists are well aware of, how people engage with the surrounding social reality reflects the particulars of the concerned individuals’ cognitive apparatus, which in turn is a thoroughly ‘ biological,’ in the discursive sense of this word.

Therefore, there is nothing odd about the fact that, just as it happened to be the case with Fine’s book, the book by Adler and Proctor does promote the idea that, in order for one to be able to attain high-quality conversational skills, the individual in question must be capable of understanding what defines the in-depth subtleties of an existential stance, on the part of the conversation’s contributors.

In its turn, this explains why the authors of both mentioned books made a deliberate point in discussing the significance of how people act non-verbally while trying to prove the validity of their opinions, concerned with the conversation’s actual topic.

Just as it happened to be the case with Fine, Adler and Proctor never ceased being aware of the fact that, for the conversational argument to prove particularly ‘powerful,’ it cannot remain solely rationale-driven. The reason for this is simple – as practice indicates, it is specifically the ‘emotionally intense’ conversational arguments, which strongly appeal to the workings of people’s unconscious psyche.

Nevertheless, there are also several discursive differences between both of the mentioned books. The foremost of them is the fact that, whereas, Looking In, Looking Out discusses the appropriateness of different conversational strategies from the clearly defined academic perspective, The Fine Art of Small Talk does the same in the rather informal manner.

This, of course, makes the latter much more ‘readable.’ At the same time, however, the sheer informedness of Fine’s book appears to have contributed to the fact that, as compared to the book by Adler and Proctor, it features several self-repeating arguments.

The ideas, contained in Fine’s book, do relate to what I consider account for the indications of one’s conversational proficiency, in general, and to how I view myself, as a communicator, in particular. After all, I do take pride in the fact that, as a conversationalist, I have what it takes to be able to maintain the interest-inducing spirit of suspense while interacting with other people verbally.

Partially, this has to do with my awareness that, contrary to what it is commonly assumed, when indulging in the verbal forms of socialization with each other, people are not being interested in learning new things, as their priority. Rather, they perceive this type of socialization as the mean of imposing their dominance (in this case- verbal) upon others. This is exactly the reason why, while interacting with each other verbally, people are primarily preoccupied with ‘talking’ rather than with ‘listening.’

As such, this awareness, on my part, correlates perfectly well with one of the main ideas, explored in Fine’s book – for just about anyone to prove itself an effective conversationalist, he or she should be capable of listening, without interrupting the counterpart’s speech. In its turn, this will result in establishing the atmosphere of an emotional trust between the two – hence, prompting both individuals to be more willing to appreciate each other’s points of view.

This book also came in handy for me, in respect of confirming the validity of my belief that the essence of the deployed conversational strategy, on my part, should be consistent with what happened to be the genetically predetermined cognitive predispositions, on the part of the potential would-be-listeners.

That is, after having read The Fine Art of Small Talk, I became even more convinced that, when it comes to conversing with Hispanics, for example, I would have to make a deliberate point is trying to sound as emotionally charged, as possible. Alternatively, while addressing the audience of rationally minded Whites, I will need to take into account the fact that, to have them finding my line of argumentation appealing, it would have to sound euro-centric to an extent.

I would recommend The Fine Art of Small Talk for reading by just about anyone who strives to improve its communicational skills. The rationale behind this suggestion is quite apparent – it is not only the in her book, the author succeeded in outlining the most fundamental rules of the verbally interactive socialization, but she also exposed what accounts for the discursive ground, out of which these rules derived.

The book’s other strength is that it features an easy-to-understand language while being spared of the pretentious but essentially meaningless ‘sophisticalness.’

This, of course, contributes to the book’s objective value rather considerably. While exposed to Fine’s ideas, as to how one may go about becoming an effective conversationalist, readers cannot help experiencing a certain aesthetic pleasure – all due to the deployed language’s stylistic refinement. Therefore, it will be thoroughly appropriate, on my part, to reinstate once again that the book The Fine Art of Small Talk by Debra Fine is indeed intellectually enlightening.

Works Cited

Adler, Ronald and Russell Proctor. Looking In, Looking Out. 13^th Edition. Boston: Cengage Learning, 2010. Print.

Fine, Debra. The Fine Art of Small Talk. New York: Hyperion, 2005. Print.

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“The Fine Art of Small Talk” by Debra Fine

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