Communicating and Dealing with People You Can’t Stand

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The capacity of a person to convey his or her thoughts and feelings to others is essential to one’s social well-being (Brinkman & Kirschner, 1994). Communication is a multifaceted phenomenon that results from the actions of an individual. Messages must be sent and received in order for the conversation to take place in plain language. Even yet, the fundamental transaction of sending and receiving a message doesn’t involve communication. A failure to communicate may have occurred because of the circumstances in which it was attempted. There are several aspects that might influence the success or failure of establishing contact: environmental, emotional, linguistic, and phenomenological. Our ability to communicate in a non-reflective manner with others may never be possible, but being aware of situations that impede and modify the purpose of communications may lead to improved communication in the long term.

Aggressive communication may lead to a turbulent and unpleasant work atmosphere if it becomes a habit (Brinkman & Kirschner, 1994). The Bad Girls Club, a reality program about a group of young women, exemplifies this kind of harsh and confrontational atmosphere. A Google lookup of recordings from the performance reveals that one will witness people yelling, screaming, making threats, and even engaging in physical assault. It is a well-known fact that when a group of “bad females” is placed in a house together, their behavior tends to follow a predictable pattern. In a dynamic setting like this, it is crucial to watch the use of competing as a dispute resolution approach to ensure that it doesn’t turn into aggressiveness.

Some people use their hands to communicate, while others use only their mouths. Everyone has a different personality; some are friendly with everyone, others frown at everyone, and others are completely mysterious. Some speak while standing, while others speak while seated (Brinkman & Kirschner, 2012). In the eyes of those who only speak with their mouths, those who use their hands to communicate are out of control. They regard the folks who scowl as hostile, while the people who grin are considered fake or silly. A hostile gesture directed towards you should never be blended. When someone says, “I think you’re a jerk!” don’t say, “Well, I think you’re a jerk too! “No mingling there. Hostility should not be met with aggression. The secret to integrating with violence is to underplay it assertively. By using your body, you may nonverbally show Tanks that you can stand up for yourself without being confrontational.

People might misunderstand each other due to false assumptions about communication. (1) “you” understand what “I” mean all the time, and (2) “I” should understand what “you” mean all the time. The concept seems to be that people can read each other’s minds since they live or work together. Some feel that by being honest with themselves, they are also transparent to others. “Because I exist,” they seem to say. This assumption generally assumes that saying anything one wants communicates properly (Brinkman & Kirschner, 1994). In fact, they frequently leave listeners perplexed about the information being conveyed. Third, communication occurs organically, like strolling across a room. Communication is complicated, and matching transmitted and received signals is tough. Some people believe that communication is similar to a conveyor belt that transports information from one brain to another with precise precision. Conveyor-belt theories of communication have the fault of assuming that the meanings of the words employed or the messages communicated are inherent in the words or messages delivered.

In interpersonal contact, it is always believed that one gains whatever one lose. With e-mail, however, you lose the nonverbal and aural cues that lend color, depth, and complexity to your words. Using modern communication tools like e-mail, SMS, and social media saves you time. No matter how urgent, written communication does not require the same level of instant interaction as face-to-face or phone-to-phone contact (Brinkman & Kirschner, 2012). When you get an offensive message requiring a response, you feel forced to respond immediately. If a message offends you, give it to someone else to read and see what additional meanings you may have overlooked. You will be amazed at how others perceive the same phrases. This, therefore, goes a long way in making sure one understands the message before responding. Readers can apply broad responses to electronic messages without referencing individual words or phrases.

In conclusion, when the Lord stated, “Let there be light,” and tough people first appeared on the earth, we may assume that they’ve been a part of our lives ever since. The same people have been waging war and indulging in interpersonal warfare, pointing fingers and shifting blame. Each of us, however, has a role to play in reducing the misunderstanding and hostility that has afflicted the planet. Because our capacity to come together despite our differences may be critical to humanity’s survival, there is no better time than the present to bring out the best in others and bring out the best in ourselves.

Reference

Brinkman, R., & Kirschner, R. (2012). Dealing with people you can’t stand. (3rd ed.). McGraw Hill.

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