Do Women Talk Too Much? Differences in Patterns

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Introduction

The notion that women talk too much is nothing more than a myth. The idea is rooted in some historical and sociological contexts that will be discussed in further detail below.

The Issues

It is a generally agreed-upon fact that female and male genders have distinct linguistic differences between them. However, scholars’ opinions differ tremendously when the discussion shifts to lengths of conversations. Goshgarian believes that it is a misguided belief to assume that men talk less or that they are more objective in their speech than women. In fact, such thoughts are mere stereotypes that have gone on for years. It is not true that women are naturally or biologically inclined to talk more than men since no evidence points to this. Perhaps, the concept may have arisen out of unfair social practices that have yet to be fully weeded out. Several ancient sayings have reinforced this stereotype as well and while some of them may have been accurate in the past, it is now clear to see that this may no longer be the case.

A survey carried out in New Zealand to investigate differences in the way men and women talk found that in fifty-one of the fifty-three studies done, men talked more than women. As if this is not enough, an analysis of formal seminars has also found that men tend to take over such meetings. Women only contribute to thirty-three percent of the conversations. Experts claim that similar patterns are often replicated in company meetings as well because men tend to talk down to women and this causes them to talk less. One of the reasons that cause this disparity between the genders is the issue of power. Men need to assert their status or power and there is no greater place to affirm this than in public gatherings. (Holmes 11) even though many western societies have empowered their women, there is overwhelming evidence to indicate that men tend to be placed higher in the hierarchical tree. In other words, they tend to possess more powerful positions than female workers and this often causes them to talk more than women.

In settings with mixed genders, it has been found that men tend to dominate conversations as well. In fact, speech patterns reveal that women take on supportive roles while men are more affirmative in their stances. Besides that, the length of one’s conversation is highly affected by one’s knowledge of the subject matter. Consequently, women will appear to talk more if they are well versed with the topic under discussion and this does not necessarily show that they talk more than their male colleagues. In fact, the only settings where women dominate conversations is in private gatherings. This is often done to enforce or build relationships with their peers or their families. (Holmes 18)

Investigations are done by linguists among young individuals also support the premise that women talk less than males. For instance, an interview carried out in an elementary school setting found that girls often shy away from communicating in class. These girls did not want to appear as though they were being too forward or too clever because such traits are assumed to be masculine. It is negative attitudes like these that cause young girls to refrain from expressing themselves publically and with time these patterns may persist into adulthood. (Holmes 26)

Another very interesting aspect of male and female conversations is that society tends to assess female participation unjustly. For instance, if a meeting is designed in a manner that allows equal contribution from both men and women, the former are likely to assume that women have been given too much airtime. This may be because people tend to compare this talk time with a silent room. Society assumes that women are not as entitled as their make colleagues to participate actively in meetings and any attempts at communication by the former are likely to solicit negative responses. Therefore the statement that “women are more talkative than men” demonstrates an overestimation of women’s contributions when it is assumed that women are never supposed to talk. Such unfairness has therefore contributed to less talk time amongst the latter group. (Homes, 37)

Many writers who support the stereotype that women talk too much, usually base their assertions on very minimal evidence. For instance, Washington Post columnist Tony Kornheiser made very stereotypical statements about women based on observations of his two children. In his ‘findings’, he asserted that much like his son, boys tend to be straight to the point with their words. Conversely, women retain too much information and believe that they must dispense that information to whoever cares to listen. Even without looking at the validity of his methods, one can clearly see how this author was biased in his assessments. There is no basis for generalizing his daughter’s behaviors to the whole female gender as every individual is unique. It is also clear to see that the author may be putting forward arguments that advance the male agenda. Such kinds of attitudes are prevalent in several articles – even in those ones written by respected scholars. They indicate that society is yet to accept the concept of female equality. (Kornheiser 23)

Usually, articles citing women as dominant conversationalists often employ poor statistical analyses to come to such conclusions. For instance, a study carried out by Dorothea McCarthy in the year 1954 found that girls learned to speak earlier than their male counterparts and this made them predisposed to talking more in their adult life. The author further claimed that girls often identified with their mothers and were therefore likely to pick up speech patterns from the latter individuals. To make such assertions, the author relied on minor statistical differences between her subjects. Some critics claim that the differences were so small that they should have been treated as quantitatively insignificant. The author may have had her own biases prior to the research and then decided to infer her findings to support these notions.

Making conclusions concerning linguistic differences between the genders can be a very dangerous approach if the instruments used to make those conclusions are unreliable. However, this has often been the case. Aside from that, since the evidence to support female domination in conversations is too differential, then it is best to refrain from making these statements in the affirmative. (Kornheiser 30)

However, one cannot throw out the importance of numbers in this argument. Studies carried out in 2006 as reported in the science journal have indicated that the average number of words that women speak per day is sixteen thousand two hundred and fifteen while men speak an average of about fifteen thousand six hundred and nine words daily. This difference is clearly too small to be treated as being statistically significant. More and more linguists are slowly accepting the fact that gender is not a critical variable in the assessment of the length of conversations that people make. Instead, greater precedence should go to other factors such as personality type, self-esteem, whether the respective parties know one another and social setting. (Macaulay 13)

A study carried out by Cingular wireless – a mobile company found that there were significant differences between male and female conversations and that men made thirty-five percent more calls than female callers. These statistics are particularly interesting because they focused directly on length of conversations. Society must therefore realize that very little evidence supports such a persistent stereotype.

Differences between male and female patterns are so small that they need to be ignored. For instance a study carried out in 2007 found that there was a ninety-nine point seventy-five percent overlap of verbal skills between women and men. The similarities between language patterns between men and women are much higher than their differences. (Goshgarian 217)

Perhaps another worrying trend today is the assumption that women’s talkativeness has its roots in history. Many scholars have tried to explain this phenomenon by using prehistoric tales. They assert that in those times, men used to go out hunting while women were left at home gathering berries and wild fruits. In those situations, women needed to keep talking so as to chase away wild animals that might attack them. These authors further say that such patterns were carried forward into the enlightenment era and that is why they still exist today. While the stories may seem quite interesting, one must understand that not all observations today can be explained by historic events. These writers are harming females because they are taking preexisting prejudices against them and placing them in an unjust historical context. This encourages prejudice and prevents society from addressing social ills that only serve to demean females.

When a series of external factors are eliminated such as lack of knowledge on the subject matter, social status, and social uneasiness, it is found that women and men talk for more or less the same time. Sometimes, it is difficult for women to be in a social setting that causes equality. For instance, most women have a rule of never talking to strangers. Consequently, in such a setting, they may be perceived as being less talkative than men. Aside from that, it is also rare to find women in powerful positions or in scenarios where they have equal status to men. Part of the reason for this observation is that women have been embracing subordinate roles for years.

Given all the latter findings, one would therefore wonder where the stereotype of the talkative female came from and why it still exists today. One reason could be that men base this assumption on their interests. Because men like talking about technology and sports, it can be exceedingly difficult for them to hold what women have to say in high esteem. Women like talking about things that have very little interest to men and this causes them to brush them aside as overly talkative people. Aside from the latter, this stereotype may also have persisted because men do not want to let go of their beliefs. (Goshgarian 218) When such men go through a counter experience, they often choose to shrug it off as an exception to their rule. In the end, no amount of evidence is sufficient to change their thinking of women’s conversational patterns and this is what continues to propel the stereotype.

Conclusion

The concept of the less talkative male is an age-old stereotype that lacks support in scientific evidence. As it has been in numerous studies, men speak more than women. Society tends to encourage biases that prevent women from freely airing their views in public.

Works Cited

Goshgarian, Gary. Exploring language. London: Longman, 2006. Print.

Holmes, Janet. Women talk too much. NY: Penguin Press, 2007. Web.

Kornheiser, Tony. “No detail is too small for girls answering a question.” Washington Post, 2000. Web.

Macaulay, Ronald. “Sex Differences” Ed. Goshgarian, Gary. Exploring language NY: Longman, 2006. Print.

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