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Different people have different motivations to interpersonal attractions and romantic relationships. However, there are standardizations that apply to both men and women from different backgrounds. This context embarks on physique, financial status, expressive and instrumental qualities, sexual references, and personal values as the key measures of what majority of men and women use to find appropriate partners in life.
According to Weiten, Dunn, & Hammer (2011), in their book, “Psychology Applied to Modern Life: Adjustment in the 21st Century”, interpersonal partnerships need more concrete principles and values in a diversified world. Maturity, tolerance, mutual understanding, problem solving skills as well as Common goals and values were highlighted as necessary for any interpersonal relationship to work (Weiten, Dunn, & Hammer, 2011).
According to research conducted on 30 adverts that were analyzed from various dating websites, over 10 adverts that featured men shows that, modern men want women who can love them, who can be trusted, who are faithful, and who can run their lives independently.
Even in the modernity era, men want preserved women who do not suggest sex in their verbal and nonverbal communication in the first stages of the relationship (craiglist). In addition, men appreciate discrete relationships that avoid public display of intimacy in young relationships. Further, men like women who make them better than they are by doing those invisible things that speaks volumes that they care.
Patient women who will never pressure men especially on marriage are the ones to go (Country Match). Though men want to care and protect their women, they also want women who are strong and who do not allow others to manipulate them. Above all, honesty and reliability is important for men.
On the other hand, about 11 adverts that showcased women, love and protection are the biggest priority that women give to interpersonal relationships (Match. In this context, protection comes in different spheres; emotionally, physically and financially.
All these create reliability and assurance in relationships. Women also value honesty, confidence, and intelligence in men (One Love Net). Men who can make women laugh and those who have motivations to live by and believe in their wives are preferred. Further, respect and faithfulness are also crucial in addition to commitment.
In comparison of the many dating websites consulted, physical attractiveness doesn’t matter to women as it does to men. To women, attractiveness can be measured by the character of men like kindness; loving, respect, and caring (Mingles). Most males seek women who have feminine features as they believe they portray a woman’s fertility and sexuality.
It was noted that, sincerity, fidelity, and reliability are all important for both men and women in selecting lifetime partners. In current hard economic times, both men and women want partners who are intelligent and ambitious (Love).
This implies that, financial security is no longer a feminine phenomenon when it comes to selecting partners. It emerges that, affection and the nurturing nature for both males and females is crucial for a long term healthy interpersonal relationship.
In conclusion and with reference to Nicotera (1993) in her book titled, “Interpersonal communication in friend and mate relationships” individuals were interviewed with regard to what they would like in their partners (Nicotera, 1993).
Responses obtained from both men and women showed that 78% of the respondents positively attributed to tolerance, 50% to responsibility, 25% to resourcefulness, and 10% self discipline. This indicates that the aforementioned qualities are important to both sexes in selecting interpersonal and romantic partners.
References
Country Match. (2000). A cowboy and cowgirl community. Country Match. Retrieved from www.countrymatch.com
Craiglist. (2011). Women seeking men. Craiglist Organization. Retrieved from www.craigslist.org
Love. (2010). Totally Free Dating Services and Personals. Love Organization. Retrieved from www.love.org
Match. (2011). The beginning: start yours. Match.com. Retrieved from www.match.com
Mingles.(2011). Meet someone new. Mingles.com. Retrieved from www.mingles.com
Nicotera, A.M. (1993). Interpersonal communication in friend and mate relationships. New York, US: SUNY Press.
One Love Net. (2009). Fastest Growing Free Dating Site. Onelovenet. Retrieved from www.onelovenet.com
Weiten,W., Dunn, D.S., & Hammer, E.Y.(2011). Psychology Applied to Modern Life: Adjustment in the 21st Century. UK: Cengage Learning.
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