Dealing With Grief – Stress Factors

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As humans grow and mature, they go through various stages between infancy and adulthood, and in these transitions, they invariably experience negative emotions and sometimes tragedies, which profoundly affect their lives. As a child, some of the major causes of grief are violence and abandonment. Violence can be inflicted on a child directly when he or she is violated directly or indirectly by their being witnesses to violent acts. It has been found to have detrimental impacts on their mental health, a result of which they may develop antisocial or even psychotic tendencies in adulthood (Copping, Campbell and Muncer 2013).

One the other hand, teens are especially emotionally sensitive owing to their surging hormones and it is during this time that they are at their most adventurous and often foolhardy. When dealing with stress, they are likely to try a myriad of risky and irresponsible acts including the abuse of drugs and excessive intake of alcohol (Wang 2009). Such lifestyles can lead to addiction and other negative habits that may ultimately compromise their health and wellbeing as they develop self-destructive tendencies. In addition, the psychological impacts of addiction may follow them for the rest of their lives and negatively affect their careers and ability to engage in healthy interactions with other people. As one grows into adulthood, risk factors and stressors multiply with the pressure to be economically productive and support themselves and their families. These stress factors aggravate their propensity for developing unhealthy lifestyles characterized used by alcoholism and unwholesome dietary choices. Furthermore, it is at this point that one becomes most likely to lose their loved ones especially parents and older relatives and the subsequent grief can easily lead to depression (Hall 2008).

However, as one edges past middle age into old age, they begin to confront a new form of stress, which is in essence a culmination of what they have feared their whole lives (Rauch, 2014). They are faced with the reality of their own mortality and their health will in most cases begin to falter as they realize that their death is imminent, which leads to fear accompanied by depressive thoughts. Kubler Ross’s model describes the various stages of grief that people undergo as part of trying to cope with the knowledge of that their life is almost over (Lancaster 2011). However, it can also be applied to other events when people are forced to deal with difficult situations and grief such as the death of a loved one or the loss of a job and others.

The first stage is denial in which they refuse to believe what has just happened or is bound to happen and it is followed by anger and then depression after which one seeks to bargain with fate or God as the case may be. Finally, there is acceptance as the individual finally concedes to the evitable and begins dealing with it and preparing to face what is coming to them. It is only then that they can overcome their inherent fears and inadequacies (Friedman and James 2008). The model is applicable to most of the life events that cause trauma in their lives including domestic and sexual abuse. When dealing with grief, people will often seek to deflect the pain for their suffering through denial and struggle against reality until they are ultimate, forced to confront and accept it. While the stages of grief can be applied to many real-life situations, they do not uniformly follow the prescribed pattern and some parts of the model may be more evident in certain situations or people than others. The case study provides an example of a situation where an individual is forced to deal with the loss of a loved one and some of the coping and defense mechanisms he applies. The imminent death of his mother resulted in mixed feelings since he felt responsible for her illness because he had neglected to visit her when she was unwell. While he does not seem to be in denial, his mother however apparently may have refused to disclose her state since she was afraid of dealing with the reality of her condition.

When George accepted the inevitability of his mother’s demise, he tries to cope with it by spending as much time as possible with her. He appears angry with himself since he has not been there for his mother and he suffers a guilty conscious, which he tries to assuage by spending a lot of time with her during her last days. To some degree, this can be considered bargaining since he is trying to make up for the time he never spent with her. However, after she passed away, he still had a hard time coping and as a result, he joined the support group which helped him with the acceptance stage. In the group, they are encouraged to express their feelings, which turned out to be a very effective way of helping them cope and ultimately recover.

References

Copping, L.T., Campbell, A. and Muncer, S., 2013. Violence, Teenage Pregnancy, and Life History. Human Nature : An Interdisciplinary Biosocial Perspective, vol. 24, no. 2, pp. 137-157.

Friedman, R and James, J, W, 2008, The Myth of the Stages of Dying, Death and Grief, Skeptic, vol. 14, no. 2, pp. 37-41,80

Hall, G.R., 2008. The Things That Matter: What Seven Classic Novels Have to Say About the Stages of Life. Anglican Theological Review, vol. 90 no. 1, pp. 174-175.

Lancaster, J, 2011, Developmental Stages, Grief, and a Child’s Response to Death, Pediatric annals, vol. 40, no. 5, pp. 277-81.

Rauch, J, 2014, The Real Roots of Midlife Crisis, The Atlantic Monthly, vol. 314, no. 5, pp. 88-95.

Wang, S, S, 2009, Program Found to Help Teens Dodge Depression. Wall Street Journal.

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