Aspects of Lifespan Human Development

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Table of Contents

Introduction
A Narrative of a Milestone in My Life
Analyzing the Milestone’s Impact on My Life
The Comparison of My Reactions and Research
Conclusion
Works Cited

Introduction

In a general sense, personality development is a complex biosocial process that is accompanied by qualitative and quantitative transformations. The basis of the process of education is human consciousness, which means that nurturing requires the direct participation of the individual. The environment, in its essence, is the current reality in which the formation of human personality occurs. It has been remarked that the family, home, and environment are of particular relevance in childhood. Under the influence of these factors, the individual’s essential moral and social qualities are established. Thus, it is crucial to determine how my family influenced my development.

A Narrative of a Milestone in My Life

The concepts of home and violence appear to be incompatible, as home provides protection, security, love, and the opportunity for children and adults to discover and evolve their abilities. One of the significant features of the domestic violence I experienced is that it is neither an accident but has a systemic nature and manifests itself in recurring cycles of different types of aggression. Domestic violence is not a conflict that can be resolved through negotiation, compromise, and mutual concessions (Blandin and Pepin 70). Although both parents raised us, I have a younger sister who also suffered from this kind of family atmosphere. In this way, I did not have a close relationship with my mother and endeavored to spend more time with my grandmother.

A pivotal moment in my life was my grandmother’s death; she died of an incurable disease. In 2021, I lost a true example of emulation and the dearest human being at the same time. I spent a lot of time with her from an early age and had a strong emotional connection. She was a special individual; she had insanely kind and cheerful eyes. Even when Grandmother talked sternly to someone, her eyes sparkled with kindness. Grandmother reminded me of a fairy tale heroine, a kind savior with blue eyes and an honest, affectionate look. Since early childhood, my grandmother taught me to behave appropriately to that people would always speak of me with kind words. From that time on, I know that one should not borrow other people’s stuff without asking and that one should be polite and provide help both to good people and to others who do evil.

It is essential to remark that my grandmother discovered in time that I was suffering from anxiety and childhood trauma. She attempted to explain to my parents the consequences of their negative behavior. My grandmother was convinced that abuse or aloofness on the part of my parents and the absence of affection, and closeness with my parents as a child resulted in one becoming socially awkward in adulthood. Unfortunately, my parents did not support my grandmother’s views, which is why they did not change their behavior. That is why my grandmother registered my sister and me for schema therapy; this method is suitable for patients who have difficulties in socialization and those who cannot cope with the consequences of childhood psychological traumas. During treatment, the physician uses a “re-education” technique to help the patient’s vulnerable inner child learn to meet their basic emotional needs in healthy ways. Through various methods, specifically dialogues, role-playing, journaling, and teaching essential habits, schema therapy has helped us get rid of psychological complexes and problems.

In this way, my grandmother attempted to help me and my sister from normal behavior and attitudes toward life. My grandmother always shared my interests, endured my failures hard, and was proud of me for my achievements in my studies and other areas. She tried to shield my sister and me from the negative influence of my parents, and after her death, we lost great support and a source of strength. For me, she was the closest and dearest person in the world, which is why I was painfully aware of her illness and death.

Analyzing the Milestone’s Impact on My Life

Significantly, my grandmother was treated and fought for her life for a long time, but the disease was powerful. After discovering that she had been hospitalized, I went straight to the hospital and stayed outside the room all night. I thought that we had joked, laughed, cried together, made standard life plans, and sometimes argued or even conflicted. At the same time, I was analyzing what a significant contribution she had made to my upbringing and life, and I wanted to thank her sincerely.

In the first weeks after her death, I experienced a period of great suffering, manifesting itself in emptiness, despair, loneliness, anger, guilt, fear and anxiety, impotence, irritation, and a desire for privacy. I even felt guilty for not finding a way and helping her overcome her illness. Subsequently, I realized that my grandmother had spent her whole life trying to find ways to help me and my sister recover from childhood traumas, to identify and socialize. Therefore, I could not allow myself to become depressed because that would have ruined everything my grandmother had provided me with. She wished for my sister and me to solve our psychological issues and live a healthy and normal life. Thus, I decided not to stop there and continue to build my life in a way that would make my grandmother proud of me.

To live through my childhood traumas, I decided to leave my comfort zone. Accordingly, I began to attend public places and sports activities that I had never done before. In this way, I tried to fulfill my grandmother’s wish regarding my socialization and establishing healthy and equal relationships with people. At first, it was challenging for me to overcome my anxiety, but the belief that my grandmother appreciated my efforts helped make me strong. After going to public places for a few weeks, I met several people who became my friends. At the same time, I began to experience the joy of socializing and life in general.

Significantly, my grandmother’s death demonstrated that life is unpredictable and that sometimes events can not go according to plan. It is crucial at such a moment not to despair but to analyze the situation, understand my mistakes, and proceed further. Accordingly, I decided not to lose my life but to progress and search for new opportunities. I enrolled in a psychologist to finally recover from childhood traumas. Moreover, I began to study constantly, watching courses and webinars and participating in contests and events. I never missed an occasion to upgrade my professional abilities to change my life for the better.

I also started communicating more with my sister because she had been painfully affected by my grandmother’s death and needed support. We often reminisced about our time at our grandmother’s and unanimously declared that those were the best moments of our lives. My grandmother’s death brought my sister and me closer together, and we began enjoying holidays and free days together. Thus, establishing social contact with my sister enabled me to become less isolated from my family. I even contacted my parents, who analyzed my behavior after my grandmother’s death and attempted to repair the damage inflicted on me and my sister. Therefore, my grandmother’s death was the critical moment after which I began to control and manage my own life. At first, I felt sadness, despair, and loneliness, but I could cope with them because my grandmother spent her whole life trying to make me happy. Accordingly, after her death, I could not let her efforts futile; her desire to assist me motivated me to continue living and evolving.

The Comparison of My Reactions and Research

Presently, there are no obvious theories of sorrow and loss in scientific psychology that completely and appropriately describe how people handle the loss. For everyone, the death of a loved one is enormous grief. In the classification of grief responses, other investigators determine from 3 to 12 phases that a bereaved person needs to go through in sequence (Rozalski et al. 20). In this connection, the concept of J. Worden, who offered a variant of explaining the response of defeat not by steps or stages, has recently become widespread. He suggested four tasks that should solve problems in the ordinary process. The first challenge is recognizing loss; I, too, lived through this phase (Yousuf-Abramson 368). I knew that my grandmother had been sick for a long time, and I prepared myself morally for her death. It is significant to mention that when I sat outside the room, I still had a long time believing that she had died.

The second goal is to process the pain of loss, meaning going through all the complicated feelings surrounding the defeat. I passed through this stage; I was in a lot of pain from losing a loved one, which is why I felt loneliness, anger, sadness, and guilt in the first weeks. It is interesting to observe that J. Worden outlines the third obligation as managing the circumstances where the absence of the departed is supposed (Yousuf-Abramson 368). I have not fully passed this stage because I constantly think about how my grandmother would have reacted to my actions. Thus, I subconsciously consult her and want her to approve of my behavior. The fourth challenge is to create a new perspective toward the departed and restart living. I started to experience the fourth stage immediately after the second because I was attempting to accept the fact of my grandmother’s death and continue to cultivate my life.

It is essential to analyze the syndrome of grief arising from the death of an important person. In one of the first studies by E. Lindemann, dedicated to the syndrome of critical grief happening at the failure of a loved one, many elements of this emotion were highlighted. Acute grief is a definite illness with specific mental and somatic symptoms. Accordingly, the psychologist allocated five signs of grief: “physical suffering, preoccupation with the image of the deceased, guilt, hostile reactions, and loss of behavioral patterns” (Frumkin et al. 255). My response to the death of a dear person was not typical. I experienced grief, guilt, and physical suffering, but at the same time, I did not experience hostile reactions and did not lose patterns of behavior. On the contrary, I knew exactly how I would get on with my life and what aspects of my behavior I needed to change. Consequently, my reactions were not common because my grandmother had instructed me all my life, which helped me cope with my challenges.

Analyzing the universal processes of grief and sorrow, Spiegel describes four stages. The first phase is shock, disbelief, episodes of incomplete awareness of one’s surroundings, and difficulty making sense of what is occurring (Hansen 19). I did not fully experience this stage because I knew about my grandmother’s illness and understood that she could die. The second phase was regaining control, passivity, difficulty making decisions, a feeling of inner emptiness, and sometimes trying to act as if nothing had happened. I felt pain and sadness, and it was hard for me to live without a dear person, but I did not attempt to act like my grandmother was still alive.

The third stage is a regression in relationships with others, complaining, crying, searching for comfort, idealizing the past, accepting religious explanations, and fear losing self-control. I did not experience this stage. After all, I was attempting to help my grandmother fight the disease because I knew she might die. The fourth stage was an adaptation, the gradual rejection of regressive behavior (Hansen 19). I survived this stage after the second stage and attempted to develop my life in a way that my grandmother would be grateful to me.

Conclusion

Hence, the crucial moment in my life was my grandmother’s death. We had a close relationship because she assisted my sister and me through family problems. Significantly, because we had a close and pre-violent connection, I did not experience the standard feelings and stages after her death. Indeed, I felt sadness and pain, but I knew what to do next and how to develop my life. It was because my grandmother was struggling to help me retreat to socialism and find my own identity that I understood what to do after she died.

Works Cited

Blandin, Kesstan, and Renee Pepin. “Dementia Grief: A Theoretical Model of a Unique Grief Experience.” Dementia, vol. 16, no.1, 2017, pp. 67-78.

Hansen, Adolf. Responding to Loss: A Resource for Caregivers. Routledge, 2020.

Frumkin, Madelyn, et al. “The Pain of Grief: Exploring the Concept of Psychological Pain and Its Relation to Complicated Grief, Depression, and Risk for Suicide in Bereaved Adults.” Journal of Clinical Psychology, vol. 77, no. 1, 2021, pp. 254-267.

Rozalski, Vincent, et al. “Circumstances of Death and Complicated Grief: Indirect Associations through Meaning Made of Loss.” Journal of Loss and Trauma, vol. 22, no. 1, 2017, pp. 11-23.

Yousuf-Abramson, Sheila. “Worden’s Tasks of Mourning through a Social Work Lens.” Journal of Social Work Practice, vol. 35, no. 4, 2021, pp. 367-379.

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