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At the start of this course, we were asked to develop our goals in connection to the course objective as well as an action plan that will facilitate the achievement of our targets and gauge the actual success of our coursework. I must admit that the communication styles I learned brought me back to the days in my family where there were a lot of communication styles that I had to contend with. I cannot further stress how these activities that consisted of the interplay of these communication styles between my family members became an important part in our everyday, modern lives.
I have slowly come to develop specific communication styles and strategies that help in conflict management and resolution between my brothers and sisters. These early learning experiences seem to establish the more generalizable patterns I have used in later years. As I watch and hear my parents manage their own interpersonal and intrapersonal, I have slowly learned through imitation. Moreover, my conflicts are inevitable in any household and the management methods used in these conflicts set patterns for later development. In the course of coping with these conflicts, I, as well as my parent, am reinforced for certain coping styles, often on a partial reinforcement schedule. Thus, I am reinforced for compliance while others are reinforced for defiance, some for cooperation and some for the expression of hostility, some for disengagement. By the time I reached school age, specific styles of conflict management and/or resolution have been adopted. They are open for modification but, like any other behavior, they increase in habit strength as our age increases. Thus, each individual informally develops styles of dealing with conflict which may well be unknown to the person.
All too often the pattern of not talking was acquired in the family where “keeping a stiff upper lip” and “bearing it in silence” was the way both my parents handled their problems. Silence was a sign of strength. This concept dates back to the frontier days when people lived in isolated homesteads where talking was not going to get the job done.
Though intuitive, I often use the faculties of my senses, only that I am more confident if I follow my intuitions which for me are signals from the often-ignored subconscious mind. I know ever since that I am the “feeling” type. Even if there are many occasions that I am predisposed to be all rational and analytical, I have long discovered that my emotions are usually the best guide for crucial decisions, or even for momentary whims. To others, being subjective is not quite as beneficial as being objective or rational, but for me, being in touch with the personal, emotional, and perceiving side best applies to my daily life. My family members understood me early on and I was able to get along well with everyone else.
I discovered from my closest acquaintances and family that they had little trouble dealing with me because of my humor and sensitivity. Some see me as an extroverted, easy-going, spontaneous type of person, while others reply that I am occasionally cautious and careful. They also recognize that I have a knack for the arts, and since childhood had expected me to venture to fields related to self-expression and individualism. On the negative side, they commented that the sensitive side sometimes borders to being moody or temperamental. Their replies showed how I projected myself towards others, my Mr. Hyde side, which is apart from my inner self. Most of their descriptions are true though, as friends and families often have accurate picture of who we are. Sometimes they even know us better that we do ourselves.
I have a clearer picture that my most important traits include sensitivity, creativeness, spontaneity, expressiveness and being in touch with my gut feelings. These traits were of course a product of a smorgasbord of factors interacting with one another.
According to geneticists and psychologists, children usually inherit their temperament traits and emotional stability from their parents (Thinkquest Team, 2000). I do believe that majority of the people in our family are doing well emotionally and psychologically. My parents are two strong individuals who bested countless difficulties in life and still managed to be happy and optimistic. Thus, I think that we are a tenacious lot, and that explains my being spontaneous and sensitive at the same time. I say that it is genetics and not environmental because I also see that trait in my aunts and uncles as well as in my siblings. In addition, I have heard of cases of people undergoing nervous breakdown and depression while their parents underwent the same thing. Other things that I think I learned through the genetics are the basic skills in academics. Dexterity in English and Mathematics, as I have learned from basic biology, are actually inheritable.
The process of learning anything new means that one is open for growth. Growth brings changes. Negotiating is a learning experience and the result, if one really works at it, is growth and change. It is a sense of personal readiness to try something new, to experiment, to take the risk—possibly to get a lot of benefits, possibly to fall on one’s face. Both are realistic possibilities. Yet each time one negotiates successfully, one builds confidence to tackle situations that are more important. It may take time before one begins to feel capable of negotiating. But when one finally learns that there is no need to passively accept the things that happen, that can help change conditions and improve situations such that events will seem much less overwhelming.
Work Cited
Adler, N.J. & Ghadar, F. 1990. International strategy from the perspective of people and culture: The North American context. In A.M. Rugman (Ed.), Research in global strategic management: International business research for the twentyfirst century (pp.179-205). Greenwich, CT: JAI Press.
Bandura, A. Blanchard, E.B. Ritter, B. 1969. The relative efficacy of desensitization and modeling approaches for inducing behavioral affective, and attitudinal changes. An unpublished manuscript. Stanford University. 13, 173-99.
Bloom B. and D. R. Krathwohl, (1956). Taxonomy of Educational Objectives: The Classification of Educational Goals. Handbook I: Cognitive Domain. New York: Longman, Green. (as qtd in Taxonomies).
Learning Style. Edutech. 2008. Web.
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