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In Ellen Weber Libby’s The Favorite Child, she argues that admitting to having a favorite child is a major parenting taboo, yet favoritism is prevalent and has lifelong consequences for both favored and unfavored children. Favoritism can contribute to depression in children, affecting their psychological well-being even after they have left their parental home and started their own families. The tension associated with being the favored or the unfavored child makes both groups vulnerable to depression.
Libby asserts that unfavored children often struggle with establishing intimacy, display defeatist attitudes, and exhibit anger and vulnerability. On the other hand, favored children tend to become easily depressed, preoccupied with pleasing their parents or others, and feel trapped by their parent’s expectations. She highlights that in some species, being chosen can be a matter of life and death, while in humans, the consequences are usually less severe but still significant (Libby, 2010). In order to mitigate these issues, Libby suggests that everyone should listen to each other, respect different viewpoints, strive to accept the truths of different perspectives, work deliberately at not being defensive, and feel safe expressing personal truths (Libby, 2010). The given set of conditions is necessary to mitigate the challenges associated with both types of children.
In conclusion, it is important to note that both unfavored and favored children can become depressed. It is critical to create an environment where everyone feels safe expressing personal truths, work deliberately at not being defensive, strive to accept the truths, respect different perspectives, and listens to each other. By focusing on these strategies, families can work to reduce the negative impact of favoritism on all members, promoting healthier and more balanced relationships.
Reference
Libby, E. W. (2010). The favorite child. Prometheus.
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