The Process of Self-Discovery in A. X. Pham’s “Catfish and Mandala”

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Information about the author

Andrew X. Pham is a Vietnamese-American writer. His family moved to the United State when the Vietnamese Conflict was in its prime. When Andrew X. Pham was a child, he dreamt to become a painter, or somebody else connected with art, still, the necessity to earn money and strict upbringing methods of the father made the write choose another path. When Pham graduated from school in the US, he entered the UCLA. “At last, I abandoned my studies, and, saddled with debts, I tried my hand at writing for a living” (Bio). After he changed many jobs, he became a writer: “In a way, I have become a painter of sort. Medium: words on paper. Subject: life as I see it” (Bio).

The plot of the story

One of the most famous books by Andrew X. Pham is the Catfish and Mandala. It is a semi-biographical story, which depicts the author’s life. The story is the description of the journey, the author takes through the United States and Japan to Vietnam. The only vehicle Pham uses on the way through the states of America is the bicycle. He comes to Japan of a board, and goes to Vietnam. There he spends about a year in Vietnam, and then, comes back to the United States.

Analysis of the story

The story of the man reflects the search of truth. The author wants to find out, what his native land is; he wants to recollect what it was t live in Vietnam. Still, when he arrives to his native country, Pham is percepted by Vietnamese people as an alien. Pham realizes that many things have changed since the time his family moved to the United States: “In this Vietnamese much, I am too American. Too refined, too removed from my que, my birth village. The sight of my roots repulses me. And this shames me deeply” (183). For several months the author travels from one Vietnamese town/village to another, and in every place everything reminds him that he is just a guest on his native land, a “Viet-kieu!” (Pham 125), nothing more, and nothing less. The whole journey of the writer turns into a trip of self-disappointment. “Too many things changed. Too much time passed. I’m different now, a man with a pocketful of unconnected but terribly vivid memories. I was looking to dredge up what I’d long forgotten” (Pham 98). Pham thinks that he lost one of the most precious things, his identity, and although he comes to Vietnam in order to find it, he understands another truth: “For our truths change with time. There is nothing else. No mitigating circumstances and no power to undo the sins. No was. Only is. Between us, there is but a thin line of intention” (339). Pham realizes that now his home is in the United States, the place where his family lives.

General conclusions

All in all, the story by Andrew X. Pham depicts the process of self-discovery. Through the description of his journey, events which happened with him during the journey, the authorr illustrates the eternal search. We all seek for something which could explain our place in the world. Before the journey Pham thought that he would come back. However, when he comes to Vietnam, he realizes that it is not him anymore. In other words, there is no need to turn round to the past life. Life is what it is now, two minutes ago is already the history.

Works Cited

Bio”. Andrewxpham.com. Andrew X. Pham. n. d. 2010.

Pham, Andrew. Catfish and Mandala: A Two-Wheeled Voyage through the Landscape and Memory of Vietnam. New York: Picador, 2000. Print.

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